Teen Burnout, Pressure & Parenting Rules | A Conversation with My Daughter Karli

In this episode of Said Out Loud: The Conversations We Should Have, I sit down with my 17-year-old daughter Karli for an honest conversation about life as a teenager today. We talk about what it’s actually like meeting influencers in real life, the pressure high schoolers feel from parents and expectations, and whether kids can truly get overwhelmed and burnt out before adulthood even begins. 

We also talk about parenting rules that tend to backfire, the debate between strict parenting vs. giving teens more freedom, and which kid in our family might be the most difficult once they reach high school. 

It’s an honest, funny, and sometimes uncomfortable conversation about the things parents and teens don’t always say out loud, but probably should. 

If you’re a parent trying to understand teenagers or a teen feeling the pressure of growing up, this episode opens the door to the kinds of conversations more families should be having. 

xoxo, 

Kalyn

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Yo, yo, yo, we are back. Our seven fans wanted another episode. So here it goes, round two, Carly. Are you ready for it? I'm ready. Okay. I'm ready if you guys are. How has your life changed since our popular podcast blew up so fast? So many people wanted access to it. I just feel famous. I know, right? Like I woke up. So famous. You'll never believe this, but I went to the grocery store yesterday and somebody literally was like, Oh my god, are you the mom-daughter podcaster? And I was like, girl. Yes, we are. Yes, I am. Don't not worry. Don't buy my groceries and pay for my gas because shit is expansive. Yes. Somebody has a job, but they don't pay for their shit. Also, guys, I have Mat Burn and it looks like I have a butt chin. I promise. I promise.

SPEAKER_03 0:47

I do not have a butt chin in real life. It's just a matte burn. I also have Mat Burn and on my hand. Wait, and on my hand. Yeah, you can't really see.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

We got into a big um fight yesterday. Yeah. There was a big crowd, and we were like, you know, we just were like brassling around with all of the all of the youngins. Just kidding. Just kidding. We went to Slick City uh for a little spring break fun. It was a good time, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_03 1:13

Yeah, but I um kind of broke my back there.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Yeah, I Carly Scorpioned on one of the slides. It was um it was not recorded and I missed it. So I'm really kind of and I was the center of attention, which I hate, so it was awful.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

Yeah, it was it was an overall good day though. It was. I was tired. Were you tired? Very yeah, and then I had to go to work after, and it just yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

I don't even know how you had the energy for work, honestly. It's like me and dad's me and dad's were on the couch. I think we didn't even make dinner. Yeah, we were like the kids can have cereal for dinner. I wasn't in the and you were, I mean, like were we both, we were both asleep when you got home, right? Yeah, I tried staying up, it just it wasn't it was a no-go.

SPEAKER_03 1:53

Yeah, I just took a shower, went to bed.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

Yeah, and you kind of slept in today too. Yeah, all right. That's our life.

SPEAKER_03 2:01

Let's go ahead and get to the show. I'm Kaylin. I'm Carly, and this is the mom and daughter. The mom and daughter pot kiss. We're corny, all right.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

Listen, Linda. All right, we're gonna hide, we're gonna start with a heavy hitter here, okay? Um, yes, Colton.

unknown 2:20

I need a charger.

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Okay, it's by the couch. Okay, we're gonna start with a heavy, heavy hitter here. Because I know this happens a lot. This happens at least once a day.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

Because you'll like come home from school, yeah, or work, or practice, or anything, and you'll just go straight down to your bed. All right. Yeah. And then dad says, what does dad say?

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Well, you're laying in your bed all day.

SPEAKER_02 2:48

So I want to know how do those type of comments make you feel?

SPEAKER_03 2:53

Well, I mean, don't get me wrong, there are some days that I just want to be lazy and lay in my bed. But there's other days that like I am just burnt out from like school. Like, there's some days that I am literally not home. Like, I go to school, I come home, I change, I go to practice, and then I come home.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

Do you feel like because you're not considered a grown-up, that like burnout is supposed to not be a thing? Not saying that like you don't have it. Like, I know for sure, like as a human, even like little kids, you can get touched out, overwhelmed, burnt out, tired. Like, but do you feel like because you're a kid expensive?

SPEAKER_03 3:32

It not expensive. It's just more like um kids are expensive. Yeah, but okay. That's not what we're talking about, but it's more expected in like adults because you have work and yeah, you have to deal with kids and everything, but like I don't know. I feel like it should be more focused that like teens can get burnouts. But like you literally some days go to school, like sometimes they will not see me until like 10 p.m.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

Yeah. School, physical therapy, sometimes practice, work, home. And like, I mean, I'm not gonna lie, there's there's nights where like we're I don't see you at all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

Because I'll be in bed because I'm old. I had to wake up too early. So then it's just like, and even like physical therapy sometimes can like wear me out after I had an entire day at school, and then I have to go straight there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

And then so maybe some people don't know, like, why do you have to go to physical therapy?

SPEAKER_03 4:20

All right, so back in August I got hurt. Um, really, you got hurt before that, like yeah. I got I mean I got hurt like last year, my sophomore year, and then I kind of just didn't take it as serious, and I rushed back and played a month later, and then which that definitely affected it because I think I just continued to hurt it over and over and over. So then August, um, I was playing a game and I completely ruptured a tendon in my knee. Yeah, so you had to have so I had to have knee reconstruction surgery. Yeah, it was actually in September. A cadaver, a cadaver's uh tendon and PFL.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

Yeah, right? Mm-hmm. So you're on the road to recovery. When do you think you're gonna be able to play again? Like what's your hope? My goal is because you've been cleared for like full full-on contact and everything, right? Or no? Yep, yeah. My goal is April 17th. Okay, so you want me to have to travel far and then wake up early. Yep. That's that's my goal.

SPEAKER_03 5:19

My real goal was the 12th. No, my first goal was actually February to play in Louisville in Kentucky, but yeah, but I told her that's unrealistic. It was unrealistic, Barry. Yeah, but I feel like the 17th is pretty realistic, not the 12th. I mean, that's not that far apart, but maybe for a full game, the 12th might take me out.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Well, okay, so you don't play a full game anyways.

SPEAKER_03 5:47

Like you play a half of the game usually, so it might not be and I mean he would he isn't he isn't gonna just put me back in and play me the entire game. Like, he's definitely gonna take it slow. So that's why I'm like, I feel like I just need like a practice game. Like to me, obviously it's a real game, but I kind of just need to like get back the feel of it.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

So back to the comment, because I'm not saying dad is the only one that says it, like, I'm sure I say stuff too, but like, are there days that it can like days that it doesn't make you mad and days that it just pisses you off to the end?

SPEAKER_03 6:21

That's why some days like I'll walk in the door and I'm like ready to like, oh, I could talk about my day, like my day was good, and then he just says a comment and I'm like, yeah, uh-uh. I'm going in your room. And then he goes, Wow, great time. Yeah, yeah. And I just want to lay in my bed and watch my TikTok lives and just like not have to hear complain and complain sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 6:47

Listen, and then you get in your little notesy app.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

Yep. I only do that like if I'm really pissed off. If I'm really pissed off, like my notes is gonna hear it. Yeah, I'm gonna blow my phone up. Oh blow or blow Avery up. You know.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

Oh, poor Avery. We like Avery. We don't want to blow Avery up.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

I might like text a million things to him. She or call him 48 times. Yep. You could ask him about that one. All right.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

Okay. So I'm the perfect parent, obviously. So like this next question doesn't apply to me because I'm just like so goaded at life. Um what? I'm joking, I'm not really the perfect parent, but like I don't feel like me and dad are very strict. But I also think that comes because you had me so young. Maybe, but I just feel like unless you're gonna unless you're breaking the law, yeah. Like or being a complete menace to society, I don't have to like I'm raising you to be a good human and like make good choices.

SPEAKER_03 7:50

So I mean, unless I was obviously an awful child and never listened to anything.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Oh boom. Kaboom. Just joking.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

Um, okay. What's a rule that parents enforce that actually pushes teens to be sneakier? And this doesn't have to be yourself. This could be a good idea.

SPEAKER_03 8:10

Okay, yeah, so I can't really I can't relate to this because obviously. She has no rules. I don't, my parents aren't struck with me on anything.

SPEAKER_02 8:17

But to be fair though, like you don't you don't party. Like you, me and dad were like 10 out of 10 the worst kids in high school, and you're like a two out of ten. Yeah. So like we don't know. I just don't I don't have to worry about it.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

I don't care for partying. Like, yeah, maybe I might want to go to one just to like see how it is, but I'm not gonna smoke, I'm not gonna drink. Like I would be at the D D for sure. For sure, for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

So like what's one rule you think pushes?

SPEAKER_03 8:41

I think definitely um phone rules, like maybe if they're which you also don't have, which again, I don't have, so I can't relate to this, but yeah, I I definitely think like phone rules and um like if you get your phone taken at night, I don't know, maybe that would just like push you to once your parents are asleep, you want to go look in. I was gonna say, do you think people go and sneak it back? Probably. Wow, that's kind of bold.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

What if you get caught?

SPEAKER_03 9:09

I mean, because like realistically, a lot of parents probably just put it on the counter and plug the phone in. Oh, okay. Yeah. But then, like me, if that happened to me, I wouldn't wake up. I mean, I really don't wake up anyways without my alarm.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

I have an alarm and I still don't wake up. But like Oh my god, speaking of alarms, me and Dad went to the gym on Monday together. No, yesterday. I don't remember. We went to the gym together. We were up and on the way to the gym and his alarm would have gone off five times. And I'm like, why don't you just turn them off? And he's like, Well, if I turn them off, I won't turn them back on. Yeah. I'm like, well, every five minutes I don't need to hear anything.

SPEAKER_03 9:44

I finally, I finally last night before I went to bed, turned my school alarm off because every morning I was waking up to my school alarm. I don't even you don't even wake up to your school alarm during school. Actually, I have been good this year besides that one day when I was supposed to go to the career center.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

What day?

SPEAKER_03 10:02

When I was late, when I was gonna wake up at 5 45, and you woke me up at 6 50 when I'm supposed to be at the school at 7 p.m. This was let me tell you about this. Yeah, like a pretty good idea. I had a I had a competition. Yeah. A state, no, not state. It was um districts, right? Districts, something like that for the career center. We had to be at the school, which is 30 minutes away, at 7.10. I had my alarm for 7.45 to like curl my hair, do my makeup, look all pretty before I actually go. She is blowing my phone up. I finally answer at 650.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

You guys, I think I called her like I think I called you like 15 times. Okay, let me just say I'm so typey. I'm typey too, so you get it honestly. I am so typey. I, but you guys, she doesn't ever answer, but she gets mad at me because I don't answer my phone. And she's literally the if you don't call this girl 25 times, she ain't answering. She won't call you back. And the worst, the worst, the worst thing she does is text mom in all caps, and then we'll fucking respond back to that for 25 minutes. And I'm like, did you die? Did you get hit by a butt? Did someone strangle you?

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Do you need gas money? Like, you just want to gossip. I don't know. Oh and she'd be doing it once a week. Mom!

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Ghosted.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

Sometimes, you know, I just have to make sure you're alive. Because she doesn't have her red receipts on for me, so I can't see when she reads my message.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

What's even worse, okay, because she knows I am the nosiest person on the planet, okay? I am so freaking nosy. This chick last week at work, I'm not gonna put it on blast who it was, but she texts me last week at work, guys. So-and-so is at my work, and that's it. And I'm like, okay, that you're working.

SPEAKER_03 11:59

To be fair, my internet at work is awful. But you know that. Okay, you shouldn't even send a picture, you should have sent hey, mom, it's twice me as that my work. But I also didn't know that it was gonna actually send. I was just sending it in the group chat hoping that it wasn't gonna send, so then I could just tell you when I got home. I mean, he was he was there with his wife and his kids. Yeah, and this creeper took a picture instead of. Yeah, no, because as soon as the as soon as this person walked in the building, I was like, ask her if she said hi. No in the comments, ask her if she said hi. And and to be fair, I also checked him and his wife out. You checked him out? Yeah, like at the Okay, at the register, that's weird. At the register, I checked them out and like I really wanted to say hi and like ho hi, I watch your podcast and everything like that. But you know, me, social anxiety, I was like, yeah, nope. I just said I was just like, have a great rest of your night. I'll listen to your podcast tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

I'll listen, I'll make sure to see your face tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

Isn't that weird though? Okay, while we're on this topic, there is an influencer that goes to our church, and I've seen her now twice, and it's like, okay, first of all, there's an influence that goes to our church. I've seen her twice at church, and it's really weird because I follow her in real life, or I mean, I follow her like on Instagram, and then I've seen her in real life, and it's very weird. Yeah. Because like you stare because it's like you know them, but they don't know you, and you don't really know how to act, and like, okay, and then another one was when I was at Kosai for when we took the little sister break, and in another influencer I follow, her husband was there with their kid, like on a field trip. He was like chaperone or whatever, and I I swear to god, I I probably creeped this guy out because I stared at him like for five minutes because I was trying to figure out how I knew him, and then I was like, Oh, it's so and so's husband.

SPEAKER_03 13:52

Yeah, but it's like weird, but I do that at work, like I feel like if I see people who I know like are your friends or like have you seen my friends at work? More, I guess more when I worked at roosters. I saw a lot, I saw a lot of people when I worked at roosters just because it's local, yeah. But even the mall, I see a bunch of people, and like in my mind, I'm like, I know them, but then it takes me a minute to think, like, do I actually know them?

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Yeah, but even then you're like, would they know me?

SPEAKER_03 14:20

But then but then but then people just know my face. Yeah, and I'm some people just know my face, and I'm like, I don't know who you are. Well, wasn't there people at Roosters who be like, tell your mom hi?

SPEAKER_02 14:29

And then you wouldn't tell her who they were, so like she I'm just like, hey mom, someone at work told me to tell you hi. It's like mom, there was this lady, she had brown hair, she said hi. I'm like, that's half of Pickerington, so cool.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

Yeah. Oh man. Okay, all right, let's go to the So yeah, to sum that question up, I think phone roles. Because like, and if people like go, if you're like what if your parents are gonna search through your phone and you have something in your phone that you don't want them to see? Well, like maybe not have well, I mean you don't I'm not saying like you have to have stuff that your parents shouldn't see, but so what you know, what if the kid was bad and they had stuff in their phone?

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Right, like you never know. What do you think is like um so there's like a fine line of being too strict and not strict enough? What do you think is an appropriate like phone policy?

SPEAKER_03 15:18

I think like you should be kind of what you do, like you should be able to like have my password and and at any time you can like open my phone. I can open it if I wanted to, yeah. But like I don't think that you need to like sit there and search through every single app and open everything up. Yeah, like honestly, like let's be realistic, you don't have time for that. Yeah, and then I think like the low is like you don't you're not even allowed to have their password or anything.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Well, I'm not gonna I'm not paying for your phone if I can have your password.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, to be fair, you pay my phone bill, so you should be able to see what you want to see. But again, I'm not a bad kid.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

Because we gave you yourself.

SPEAKER_03 15:57

I got mine in fifth grade, and so 10?

SPEAKER_02 16:00

Were you 10 or 11? I think I was 10 slash eleven. No, because you're you're just like Caleb. I think I might have been 11. Yeah, so like 10 at the beginning, and then you turned 11 in January.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

Yeah, yeah. I think well, to be fair, all my friends had phones. They all had phones, like we they all got them in like second grade, which is still a thing. Like which to me, I think that's crazy. I think honestly, I think junior high probably.

SPEAKER_02 16:25

Okay, I'm thinking we're gonna wait until high school with Caleb.

SPEAKER_03 16:28

I think junior high is like the best because that's when you're starting to like.

SPEAKER_02 16:32

We might get him a phone in junior high, but he's not having social media until high school.

SPEAKER_03 16:36

Yeah, I because I just feel like I don't know, middle school, you need to live your life out. But like, to be fair, me, like that was COVID. Yeah, so if I didn't have a phone, I probably would have been even more bored than I already was.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Which I think which I think that played COVID played a big part in us getting you a phone because you needed some kind of like because you were homeschooled, and so you needed some kind of outlet.

SPEAKER_03 16:59

Yeah, if I if I was homeschooled and didn't have a phone, I think that would be really hard. Yeah. Because I I mean I already struggled being homeschooled because I'm such a visual visual learner, and even though we had like Google Meets and everything, I think it was still hard. Can you guys go?

SPEAKER_02 17:14

Can you guys go play in the playroom or something, please? Me and Carly are doing something. Yeah. So I think it was still. Colton, playroom. Colton, not behind the couch, go to the playroom or go outside. Please. Until me and Carly are done. So I think seventh grade is a good okay. One more question from me, and then you're gonna come up with something to ask me. Okay. Okay. The last question from me is if teens could be brutally honest with their parents. Yeah, see, why are we doing this one? No, this is good. Because I don't know what to say. You're putting me on the spot. Yeah, it doesn't have to be about you. It doesn't, it could be a hypothetical okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:56

Can you can you say it?

SPEAKER_02 17:58

Yeah, if you could be honest with your parents. You could be brutally honest with your parents.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

Like, can you say the question?

SPEAKER_02 18:14

My gosh! If you could be brutally honest with your parents for one minute with no consequences, what would you say? I hate you!

SPEAKER_03 18:21

I hate you. I got in a car crash. Okay, but I actually did. So yeah, you had your friend's mom call me. Yeah, because again, I was scared to get it. You got in you got in more trouble. Look, it's laggy again. So laggy now. Yeah, look at your words. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Don't stop.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

How could me and dad be better parents? Never. I don't know. Just so awesome. Oh, you're so cute.

SPEAKER_03 18:56

Um I don't know. Like, really, to be honest, like you're not strict. Like, maybe if you were really strict, I would be like, be less strict.

SPEAKER_02 19:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:08

But like you're not strict. Yeah. But we should be like, don't give me one. Should we be more strict? Maybe on the other kids, but not me.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

Which of your siblings do you think we're gonna need to be the strictest with?

unknown 19:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

That is not even a question, especially when that chick gets in high school. My lord. What do you think she's gonna be like in high school? I for myself, I feel like the partier like the mean girl cheerleader.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

Yes. Like if you picked a movie like Mean Girls, she's Virginia Jordan. Yes, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 19:39

I mean, I think she's already like that. That's to me. I'm like, I don't know how she has friends in school. Dude, and she has so many, like, like everybody's like, everybody loves her. Everyone loves her. Everyone loves her, everybody. But then, like, I wish people could just be like a little bird on the wall at home and see the way she acts and the comments she makes.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

She is very sweet when she wants to be, but she has some of the rudest comments I've ever heard. Yeah. I'm trying to think of one that she said to me before.

SPEAKER_03 20:09

I mean, she just told us that our style is good, but our music taste is awesome. Right?

SPEAKER_02 20:13

She said, You have a good style, but your music taste is worse.

SPEAKER_03 20:16

Yeah. Yeah. So, oh, and she told me she was like, ew, Carly, look at your acne again. I was like, Thank you. That is so nice of you to say to me.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

Like, she told me that I needed I need to do her skincare routine. No, I know what it was. She said, she said she has like an 80-step skincare routine. And I was like, oh, and she goes, Yeah, because I don't want wrinkles like you. I'm like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 20:43

Like, dang, I didn't know I had wrinkles like that, but okay. She uh and like don't get me wrong, I do say things without thinking, but she is like whole life without thinking. Yeah. If you people know me and you think I don't have a filter, wait until you have a conversation.

SPEAKER_02 21:02

You both turned out that way because I have the opposite problem. Like, I don't think.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

But dad doesn't have a filter. That's true. That's true. He he will say whatever he wants to do. Do you think Caleb's gonna be a partier in high school? I think he's gonna be like that weird, like, okay, not weird, but like only care about sports kind of kid.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

So you mean like he don't think he's gonna have like girlfriends?

SPEAKER_03 21:26

I mean, I think no, I think he'll definitely have a girlfriend.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

But like he won't go to parties because he's too focused on sports, yeah. Like he doesn't want to mess up.

SPEAKER_03 21:34

Yeah, like I think he would be the kid that would get scared of like getting in trouble, yeah. Like getting caught.

SPEAKER_02 21:39

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:40

And then like once he realizes like he has like the drug test and everything. I don't see him doing anything like that. I don't know. I could see him like maybe drinking. Maybe drinking. But I don't think he's drinking. Because maybe I think he I could see him maybe drinking because like we just like I I don't want to say like we grew up like that because then that makes it sound like alcoholic. But yeah. But we have like we have Have yeah. And you drink, like and our family drinks, so I don't know. I we kind of just screw up like that. So it's not like some people whose parents like never drink ever. And it's and it's like me, like I don't want to go to a party and get absolutely wasted and not know what I'm doing with my life. Like that's just I I would be so embarrassed. Yeah. But like if I had a drink or two, like if I'm hanging out with my family, I don't really like that. Isn't I don't really care. It's like killing me. I don't really care for that. Ugh, okay. Do you have any questions for me? Well, can we like pause so I can like come up with some questions? So I don't have questions off the spot.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

Okay, sure.

SPEAKER_03 22:42

Okay, so now it's my turn to ask her questions. So this is gonna be interesting. All right.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

I feel like you cannot see my face, but my bangs are like really, really like low and bothering me. So like the only way the hat looks good is if like you can't see my face.

SPEAKER_03 22:56

So this is one. What did you think your life would look like at my age? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

Complete opposite of what my life looks like. At your age, I wanted zero kids. I wanted zero kids. I wanted to be a nurse, probably in the army, but I wasn't positive on like if I wanted to be in the military or not. But definitely a nurse and definitely no kids. I didn't like kids, hated kids, didn't want to take care of take care of kids.

SPEAKER_03 23:21

And let me just say she hates kids now.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

This is true. I actually only like my own kids. I am one of those people like I have so many kids and I love all of my kids, but I don't like other people's kids. They annoy me. So they annoy me. I it is the truth. The truth came out. Yeah, like the truth is now out. I do like there are like my nieces and nephews I like. Yeah. But like other people, no.

SPEAKER_03 23:41

Really, I feel like if you're not in our family, like she's not gonna really like it.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

If you're not that's not the the issue, is is like I feel like certain people parent really crappy, and like if their kids are annoying the fuck out of me, like I don't want you around. Yeah, you're annoying. And I can't just be like our family, I could be like, oh what like you need to stop doing that. That's the you know, whatever. But if it's like a random other person, like I can't say something.

SPEAKER_03 24:04

You're not yeah, you can't really just say something. You can't like tell them how to parent. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:08

So definitely was living somewhere warm, um, somewhere where it's not like seasonal depression every other season, and zero kids.

SPEAKER_03 24:19

Okay. Um what's the best relationship advice you could give me? Oh, like like boyfriend, girlfriend, friends, whatever. Boyfriend, girlfriend. Oh, okay. Like any any advice you could give me, like right now in my current relationship. Oh. Stay. That way he can get NIO money and you can actually be rich.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

Um, I think the best advice that I can give that I've learned is two things, two parts. One, learn your spouse partner, whatever friend, learn their love language and know what yours is. Because unless their love language is the same as yours, you're gonna love them a way they don't want to be loved.

SPEAKER_03 25:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

So, like, if Avery's love language is time and yours is gifts, and you just give him a bunch of gifts, he's like, doesn't cool for the gift, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 25:14

But like it's not yeah, because there's definitely times where I'll be at the store and I'll be like, Yes, Avery needs this. And then I give it to him and he's like, Why did you buy me this? Like, why why do why did you spend your money on this? Yeah, it's and I'm just like people responsible. And I love see the I like I feel like sometimes my love language could be giving gifts, but sometimes I hate receiving them. Yeah, I don't know why. Like at Christmas, obviously. Probably quality time. That's definitely I need I need I need quality time sometimes to like feel loved. Like maybe not and not just to like feel loved, like I don't know. I just like spending time with people, people, yeah, yeah. And probably physical touch. That's probably a big one. That's your dad, your dad's daughter.

SPEAKER_02 26:04

Um, mine are quality time and acts of service. That's like I like do things for people.

SPEAKER_03 26:11

I can do that sometimes, but I also can just get like no, like I don't want to do, yeah, but yeah, so I I honestly could say probably gift giving, quality time, and physical touch. I love physical touch.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

I do not like don't touch me.

SPEAKER_03 26:23

Yeah, please.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

See, that's like, yeah, I love there's certain times when I want to be touched, but other times no. Like, I I think because I'm home with the kids so much and they're like always up my butt 24-7. I just want to be like, not not. Um, okay, that one and then communication. I would say like um, I wouldn't say like overcommunicate, but uh people aren't, I think we assume that if someone the somebody loves us and they've been in our lives for a long time, we assume that they know what we mean. Um, and they don't like we're not mind people aren't mind readers. So I feel like if it and especially if the other person is a dude, which is like Avery is a dude, of course. I just mean like not a friend, you know what I mean? Um you have to tell them exact dudes need to be told exactly what you want. Yes, you like you have yes, I've I've noticed this.

SPEAKER_03 27:12

Like you can't, you cannot give hints anymore. Like hints, you cannot, you cannot give hints. You've gotta say it like this. This is what I want, and this is what I'm trying to tell you. Not just like, oh blah blah blah. Let me try and get you to think what I'm thinking. Yeah, because I mean you can't read my mind, and yeah, guys are just off what that. Okay, one more, one more. All right. Oh, I kind of had two. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

I'm fine. Two more.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

Okay, two more. What's something I do that reminds you of yourself?

SPEAKER_02 27:40

Oh, this is hard because I don't feel like I feel like you act so much like dad.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

Yeah, but I feel like there's some things that we could do and like yeah common.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Um, I would say one of the things is how you like help us out so much and how you are with your siblings because I was like that. Because I'm just we're both the oldest. We're both the oldest, and like there's big age gaps, yeah. So I was like, I always saw my siblings as like my little like that kids, sort of you know what I mean. So I'm like their second mom, or what if you will. For sure. So I would say that kind of relationship that you have with them like reminds me a lot of me.

SPEAKER_03 28:24

And then what makes you most proud of me? Oh we're gonna end it on a good one.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

Yes, there are so many people in this house today, yeah. Yeah, it is. I um too many kids. If your kids are here, I don't hate them.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

Okay. If your kids are at my house right now, I promise I don't hate them. It's just it's just overwhelming. There's already so many kids here, and now there's more kids. I think there's three. There's three other kids here. Yeah, so for it.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

People that are not what am I most proud of you for? I would say your resilience. What the heck does that mean?

SPEAKER_01 29:20

I feel like you gotta dumb it down. You gotta dumb it down.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

Okay, I feel like you were given not the best hand. And I can say this from experience because I was also born from a mom who was 18, and like so my mom grew up as I grew up, and so I feel like you had to kind of grow up with me and dad, and we weren't like the best, we weren't always present. Wow, tell me how you really feel. Um, we've just had like ups and downs of like learning how to be adults ourselves, and you've we've like drugged you through the mud on all of it, and you have always persevered. Are you gonna ask me what that means too?

unknown 30:03

No.

SPEAKER_03 30:05

Okay, I do have one thing to say. I feel like that's how me and Caleb are so different in our sports. Why? I feel like his mindset and my mindset are so different because of the way we've been like, I don't know. I just feel like I was like the the tester child. I feel like as the oldest, you are the tester child, right? And I I really think it's like moving with us. Yeah, um, I I mean I feel like any like first kid is the tester child, but I I just feel like especially in soccer, like yeah, I don't know, especially in soccer, like if if Corinne was to play soccer, we would know so many different things and do so many different things.

SPEAKER_02 30:49

I mean, that's fair. Like me and Adal say say it all the time. Like, we're doing XYZ different because we learned um don't why stop? We've just learned so much. Oh my gosh. Yeah, can you like I tried okay? That's better, that's better. Okay, okay. Um, we've just learned so much. We've learned what to do and what not to do.

SPEAKER_03 31:10

Yeah, like when we when you were in soccer, we were like or what what like people to surround yourself with and who not to surround yourself with like on a team, like parents, yes, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 31:25

I will pick a team based on parents before I would pick a team based on their skill.

SPEAKER_03 31:30

Yeah, because like you don't just want to be with the team that like parents are boring, nobody talks.

SPEAKER_02 31:35

Not even that, but if it's like drama filled, it's people who are super immature, like I don't have time for that. Yeah, and if you if you have a good enough coach, like you'll get better no matter what. And let's face it, like if it's a team of 11, 10 are not playing in college, right? So, like your chances of making it far, like just have fun, no drama, get better.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

Yeah, but like yeah, I mean that's you know, notice that once you get older, yeah, yeah. Like definitely at my age, like there are people on my team now that will go to college for soccer, but like a lot of us we're just a lot of us are almost seniors, we're just giving it at our all. Yeah, and playing the sports.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

Having fun while you can still play. I think you and Caleb have totally opposite personalities on so many levels, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:17

And I just think our mindsets are so different. I think he's gonna go so far in life. So you don't think you're gonna go far in life? Not in sports, no, but he probably like I think he'll go far in life in sports, and I'll go far in life in like my job. Some kid has to buy me a beach house, so I'm glad he's gonna make it far. Yeah, and you know Avery can buy me a beach house, so your wagga. Wagga. It's wag. We figured this out. Wag, not wagga.

SPEAKER_02 32:45

And it does not stand for wives against gay animals. Okay, it stands for wives and girlfriends.

SPEAKER_03 32:52

That I think wagga sounds more fun. I I think so too. Like wag, that just seems boring.

SPEAKER_00 32:57

I'm really irritated by the camera today.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

Yeah, yeah, it's really making me mad, actually. I feel like I'm really close to you. Like, hi guys.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

I think I've had enough.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

I think we're getting like I'm Kaylin. I'm Carly. Catch us on the flip side later.