Consistency looks different then I thought!

This week on Voices, Volume & Vibes, I’m talking about consistency — and how different it actually looks in real life.

Lately I’ve been realizing that growth isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s going to the gym even when your mind is heavy. Sometimes it’s showing up to improv class. Sometimes it’s sitting quietly in a van, learning the difference between movement and avoidance.

After losing Ayla, life and van life both feel different right now. But through grief, routines changing, upcoming concerts, health resets, and trying to build this podcast, I’m learning that consistency isn’t about perfection… it’s about continuing to show up for yourself.

This episode is a raw reflection on grief, intentional living, reps, routines, and trying to move forward one day at a time.

Roam on.

Transcript

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You are listening to voices, volume, and vibes. Lately I've been thinking a lot about consistency. And how different it actually looks in real life. Compared to what we think it's supposed to look like. I used to think consistency meant always being motivated. That I always had to be productive. That I always had to be moving forward and always creating. But honestly, the last couple of weeks of my life, it's taught me that consistency can actually look really quiet. For those of you who don't know, I live in a van. Full-time over five years. And up until two weeks ago, there was a gray 88-pound wimeriner named Ayla that made this van home with me. My intention was actually to start this podcast five weeks ago. But what do they say? Life happens when you're making plans. Well, life happened. I lost her two weeks ago. And the van feels very strange right now. It's empty shell. And I was kind of thinking how f comical it was today that how small this van looks, and I honestly somewhat can't believe that I lived with an 88-pound Weimariner for the last five years. And I miss her. I miss how much of my routine was around her. How much of the routine was built around her. Going to work, dropping her off at daycare, and just the little things you miss. Getting in the van and having her bark in the morning when I'm getting coffee. I miss that. I miss that routine built around her. But you know what? This is also to honor her. Because this was my plan before she left. I don't want to sit and rot in the van. I still go walking outside. I still see people. I'm still working. Going to improv and hitting the gym. I'm still sad every day. And I miss her constantly. But I'm realizing that grief and movement can exist at the same time. You know, getting back to consistency though. It's not perfection. And therein lies what I used to think. You know, a little openly and a little probably too honest. I was always that guy that felt I had to be perfect before I went to the gym. I had to be perfect before I lost the weight. I had to be perfect before I went anywhere to do the things. Well, that's not exist. That doesn't even exist. That's not a thing. Consistency isn't perfection. You know, it's a little humbling to be the old age I am. And realize that it's so much in life. It's just about that. It's about showing up. And there are moments in many moments in my life where I show where I actually showed up. I showed up for myself, I showed up for family. Obviously, I showed up for Ayla. But it took the last two years and some struggles that I went through to realize that I still have a lot to learn. And now part of that learning is about showing up for myself again. You know, I I take improv classes. And I was talking to my teacher the other day, because I've had two classes with him, and I kind of felt a little odd taking a third next winter. And I asked him, you know, they don't really have an improv too yet. So is it kind of odd to take improv? And basically he said, It's about consistency. It's about showing up. It's just basically practice, he said. Whether you take it for the next ten years, it's still practice. It's still that consistency that elevates you to the next level. And I never thought about comedy that way. I mean, sitting here in my van, it makes absolute sense. No one goes on stage being an immediate comedian and an immediate success, but that's not what we see. We don't see the struggle of everybody. We don't see the struggle of the multimillion dollar actor. We don't see them in their roles when they're in their B films. All we see and all we know is when they're at the height of their career. And I don't know if anybody else feels this way, but my brain has that switch that sometimes I forget about that. But consistency applies for everything. The gym, this podcast, healing, getting back on track. Not every day needs to be some kind of perfect inspirational movie. Sometimes what I realized this week specifically is consistency is just not quitting on yourself. You know, and this all ties into where this is going. Volume, voices, volume, and vibe. Now that's authenticity right there, my friends. It's about growth, it's about learning, it's about real people, real challenges in real life. You know, one of the hardest things that's transitioned since Ala's past is not driving driving. I've actually had to force myself not to go places. In the past, after I left work, I would go pick her up, take her out into the woods. Now, granted, that was mentally beneficial for me as well. That's why I have a dog. I like being outside. But now I don't need to, and I'm trying to not drive unnecessarily. Not only because gas prices are a little, well, you know, everybody knows, a little ridiculous right now. But I'm also learning to sit in the silence of the van. Trying to spend more time reading, planning ideally this podcast. And structuring my summer. Because this is the summer of concerts for me. This is part of voices, volume, and vibes. I hope you stay tuned for what this podcast is going to become as it grows. But no matter where it heads, it's gonna stay authentic and consistent. I don't really know exactly where the next phase of this is going. But I do know that I'm showing up. I'm putting in the reps, I'm trying to move intentionally, and maybe that's what consistency actually is. It's not perfection, it's not motivation, it's just continuing to show up for yourself over and over again. And if you listen to this, I appreciate that. If you've gone this far. Because wherever you are in your own journey, I want you to keep moving forward in your own way and at your own pace. Roman, my friends. Roman.