The C2R2E Framework Explained | Rebuilding After Divorce, Custody Stress, and Co-Parenting Conflict

Your life can change so fast that you cannot even explain what you are feeling yet. One day the old baseline works, and the next day it does not. I recorded this one to tell the origin story of C2R2E and to help you make sense of your own hard season, especially if you are dealing with divorce, co-parenting conflict, custody stress, or the quiet exhaustion of rebuilding after loss.

I walk through the C2R2E framework as a real-world map for personal transformation and resilience: Collapse exposes what was never built to hold pressure, Confrontation forces honesty about what is true, Realignment helps you build new systems for the life you actually have, Reclamation restores agency and steadiness, and Elevation becomes the higher standard you carry forward. Along the way, I get practical about boundaries and why peace rarely comes from “closure” or getting the other person to change. Peace comes from structure you control: clear limits, consistent communication, and protected access to your time and energy.

We also go deep on co-parenting and parenting plan structure. A parenting plan is not just a schedule. It is decision-making, transitions, school issues, travel, conflict resolution, and the details that prevent future blowups when stress is high. I also share why preparation, documentation, consistency, and self-control matter so much when you are navigating family court dynamics.

If you want extra support, I point you to my free Ironclad Parenting Plan course on YouTube and ways to keep going deeper through coaching and community. Subscribe for more conversations like this, share this with someone in a hard transition, and leave a review so more people can find the tools to build their next baseline.

Transcript

Why C2R2E Was Born

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome back to the next baseline. I'm your podcast host, Danny DeJesus. And for this episode, I specifically want to focus for a moment and talk about where C2R2E really came from and it's pretty much its origin story. Because the framework itself did not start out as something that was developed on a clean sheet of paper. And on the contrary, it really began through the many life scenarios that I navigated over the years. So it its origin really began under intense pressure. It began, it had its beginnings through my experiences with divorce, with co-parenting conflict, legal stress that I was navigating at very various points in time, emotional fatigue, and then also years of trying to figure out how to function in a life that no longer worked the way that it used to. And so C2R2E was lived way before it was ever given its name. So for me, that stretch ran from 2013 through 2020. But this episode is not just going to be about my story. It is also going to be about helping anybody really make sense of their own story. Because maybe right now you might be in a season that you cannot fully explain. Maybe you don't have the language for it just yet or the words to describe it. And maybe all you know, all you can sense is that there's there has been a shift or something has changed. And that the old way is not working anymore. And so while it's not working, you're also trying to figure out how to how to keep keep your bearing, how to stay stable. And if that is where you are today, then this episode is for you. And one of the things I think I've learned over time is that transformation is often happening way before you know how to even describe it. Personal transformation. It can even be professional. And sometimes you're you are really already living in the pattern long before you you can even name it. And that was also true for me. So back then, during that period of time that I mentioned, between 2013 and 2020, I was not saying to myself, I am now entering collapse. I was just living it. I was just experiencing it in the moment as it happened. And so if you ever have gone through, for example, a divorce, a custody fight, a breakup with a significant other, like a girlfriend or a boyfriend, a co-parenting struggle or any form of disruption that can lead into a long-term situation, then you know exactly what this likely feels like. And

Collapse When Life Stops Working

SPEAKER_00 3:05

here's the thing collapse does not just show up with clean language. It does not just show up when the old structure of your life stops working, stops holding up. And it actually shows up when what used to feel stable or familiar no longer works. It shows up when the life you thought you were building starts breaking in ways that you cannot ignore. And so one of the first things I learned from that period, that period of time in my life, that season, that 2013 to 2020, is that collapse is not is not just pain. Collapse also feels like exposure, right? It reveals the weak parts, right? What was maybe some assumptions we have made and what was never built to handle real pressure. It reveals collapse tends to reveal your habits, your expectations, and the systems that you have built for yourself that can no longer carry the reality that you are now currying currently living in in the present. And for a lot of people, that is that has has to be one of the hardest parts. It's not just that life changed. It is that the change exposed how much of your peace was actually tied to the conditions that no longer exist. And maybe something in your life has exposed some weak, some weak structure. Maybe what used to get you by to, you know, yesterday. And what I mean by yesterday, I came and be last month or six months before. But the point is maybe what used used to get you by is no longer enough. And maybe the old baseline that you had is really gone. And however, part of you is still trying to operate as if that old baseline of your life was still there.

Confrontation When Excuses Fail

SPEAKER_00 5:07

And this is really when we look at the second stage, this is where confrontation, we go from collapse into confrontation. This is where confrontation begins. And at that time in my life, I didn't know how I did not have a word for confrontation. I was just learning that often the hard way, that the reality does not bend because you want relief. Confrontation is actually where excuses really stop helping. It is where you have to face what is true, what is changing, what you can no longer control, and what kind of structure is now actually needed in place if you want to feel peace in your life again. And one of the hardest parts of this stage, the stage of confrontation, at least for me, was learning how to deal with personalities that I no longer wanted close access to. And I'm referring to to divorce, for example, or if you have a specifically more so if you if children are involved and and you need to to co-parent. Because that is a very real part of divorce. And co-parenting that I I think is not spoken, you know, day day to day enough, you know, in plain language. And sometimes, sometimes, you know, yes, the relationship ends, but when children on uh when children are involved, the interaction doesn't. So you can end the relationship, but the interaction is still going to remain. And you may not want to explain yourself anymore, you may not want to argue anymore or defend yourself, or let that person keep emotional access to you. But here's the thing if children are involved, you may still have to communicate, coordinate, exchange information, and then also navigate decisions together. And that is hard. And let me tell you, with some recent events in my life, that is still hard. And a lot of people listening right now, especially those single parents out there, they know exactly what this feels like. And for some people, the hardest part is not even that the relationship ended. It is that the interaction did not end. It still continues because you may still be dealing with someone whose tone unsettles you, whose communication drains you, or whose behavior keeps pulling you back into stress. And one of the hardest truths I had to learn is that peace does not always come from getting the other person to change anything. It does not always come from closure. In fact, you may never sometimes get closure. And also, it does not always come from agreement. And a lot of times, instead, peace

Boundaries That Protect Your Peace

SPEAKER_00 7:55

actually comes from the structure that you build for yourself. Because a lot of times, peace is actually going to come from boundaries, firm boundaries and clear boundaries and repeated boundaries. Boundaries around communication, around access, around what gets a response and what does not. And also around what deserves your energy and what does not. So I learned that if your peace depends on the other person becoming easier, calmer, more reasonable, then your your peace, you're going to be surely disappointed in terms of maintaining peace. Instead, when your boundaries become strong enough, your peace no longer has to be negotiated every day. And that might that may actually be where the shift begins for you too. And maybe your next step is not making an a better argument or a better position or finding a better leverage point. Maybe, in fact, is not even overexplaining yourself either. And maybe it's not trying to get the other person to fully understand your side because chances are they're not. And maybe your your next step instead is actually building boundaries so firm that your peace is preserved even if the other person stays difficult. It is the independent of the other person. And that's not weakness, that's not avoidance. What that simply is, that is just very firm structure and good architecture. And that leads to my next point here: realignment, stage three of C2R2E.

Realignment Building Around Reality

SPEAKER_00 9:35

And realignment is where you stop asking, how do I get back to what was? And really you start asking now, what now has to be true for me to operate well in the life I actually now have? And I think that's a different question. And in fact, I think it's a better one because realignment means you stop building around a fantasy that you created in your mind and you actually start building around reality. You stop designing your piece around the hope that other people will suddenly become easier to deal with. You stop relying on loose communication, vague expectations, emotional reaction, and unprotected access. And instead, you start creating systems that protect your mind, your time, your home, your children, and also your judgment. And I also want to be clear about where this perspective comes from. Because I'm a father of two daughters, each one has a different mother, and each situation has at some point involved a court-ordered parenting plan. So when I talk about co-parenting boundary structure and the reality realities that come with long-term parenting coordination, I'm not speaking just from theory alone or something I just created out of the blue because you know what? I have lived it, and over time I've also coached many co-parents, which has given me hundreds of hours of professional insight into these patterns, pressures, and the practical challenges that people face in this space. You know, I also bring a personal perspective as well that has shaped how I looked at all of it. Because I've also served active duty as active duty in the military. And I was navigating my time throughout my active duty military career, navigating as a father, as a single father. And along the way, I had to work through a lot of assumptions people repeat about family court and co-parenting. And one of the biggest was the idea that courts automatically favored the mothers and that the and the fathers should just simply expect to lose. And you know what? I no longer accept that. And I would say what and the reason I don't accept that is because that was just not my experience. And um and in fact, I have seen how that kind of thinking can make people feel defeated, you know, before they ever really learn how to show up in a way that's going to be beneficial. And what I found ultimately, especially for those single non-custodial parents out there that are trying to navigate this, um, what I found mostly that helps is structure. What also helps is preparation, consistency,

Court Myths And Winning With Structure

SPEAKER_00 12:20

self-control, and then learning how to move through through a process in a way that supports your position and then ultimately your children and yourself. You know, I also, and here's the thing, I also know this process when it comes down to co-parenting and litigation and child custody, also from a couple different additional points of view and and and additional sides. Because I also spent several years in litigation with an attorney. And I also spent several years in litigation without one. So I went pro se, self-represented. So when I talk about pressure, preparation, communication, documentation, and the the wear and tear that comes with long-term co-parenting conflict, here's the thing. I'm not just speaking from a distance, because here's the thing. I lived it at a level where a lot of people eventually give up, not because they don't care, I think, but because the process can really grind people down to the ground over time. And here's the thing, that's that's really that's really why I care so much about structure. Because under intense pressure pressure, structure is really not an optional, an optional thing to implement. Because it is part of how you keep, in my opinion, your clarity while enabling you to move forward. Because here's the thing during the for me, during those intense co-parenting years, I learned just how many variables actually go into building a parenting plan that that actually

Parenting Plans Beyond Just Schedules

SPEAKER_00 13:55

could work in every everyday real life. And I think most people don't realize that at first. Because a lot of people think that a parenting plan is just some schedule that you just put together that you agree on and then that you hope it works, but but it really isn't. Because what the parenting plan is, what I found it to be over time, not just my own personal, personal perspective, but many clients that I've coached along the way is that it's about communication, decision making, holidays, transitions, exchanges, school issues, travel, conflict resolution, roles, logistics, expectations, and all the places where future conflict can develop if your structure is weak, if your framework is weak. And so if you are living in that world right now, you probably already know how quickly vague language can also turn into future conflict. You may be even trying to piece things together while you're experiencing intense stress. You may be learning that the hard way, that what looks small at first, actually becomes a major issue later when there's no clarity around it. So taking the easy way out sometimes and oftentimes leads to conflict in the future. And that was part of what I also learned over time that through years of pressure, thousands of dollars, and a lot of stress fighting these things out, I learned just how much structure actually matters when it comes down to parenting plans. Because I know how expensive that learning curve can be. And because I know how expensive that learning curve can be, I decided to turn those lessons also into something

Free Ironclad Parenting Plan Course

SPEAKER_00 15:40

practical for other people. And so what I did was I actually created a free 15 module course. It's actually on YouTube. You can find it. It's called the Ironclad Parenting Plan. Actually, the description you're gonna find, you're gonna find it in the description, uh, the links in the description. And so what I want to highlight, this isn't any type of legal advice in any way. In fact, it is just it's supposed to be educational only by design. And it is there really to help people think through the real life variables that come into play when building a parenting plan so they so that anybody really going through this can approach the parenting plan development process with more clarity, maybe ask the better questions, and then also develop a stronger structure than you know you would have had you not had this insight. So if that is what you're living through and you're experiencing right now, I'm gonna encourage you, encourage you to find the link to my YouTube channel. It's going to be in the description. And what you're gonna do is you're just gonna go to courses and you're gonna find our ironclad parenting plan. And then in return for your attention, you know, I want to give you something useful, structure, perspective, and then lessons that were shaped both by my lived and professional experience. And over time, you know, what you'll find, what I found, that this work eventually starts to lead to reclamation. And reclamation

Reclamation Taking Yourself Back

SPEAKER_00 17:05

is what happens when you start taking back what prolonged disruption, that that prolonged disruption that buried your confidence, your peace, your sense of personal agency, your voice, and your steadiness. When you spend too long in conflict, too long in uncertainty, or too long with your boundaries being tested, you can forget what it feels like to think clearly and then actually move even more deliberately. And so reclamation is where you actually start to acquire these things back. It usually does not, I'm gonna tell you now, it's not gonna come all at once. And it usually does not come back in some dramatic moment. It comes back through steady decisions that you make every day. So those little decisions that you think are insignificant, every decision matter, stronger standards, and then also a refusal to let every text, every exchange, every disagreement, or every setback control your inner, your inner state. And reclamation is where you actually start taking yourself back. Your judgment, your energy, your discipline, and then also your ability to respond instead of react. And you know, I'm not saying this this is all going to be perfect because it's not. Um, I still have my moments, in fact. Um, but here's the thing maybe that's where you are right now. Maybe you're not trying to become who you used to be. Maybe where you are, you're in a phase of reclamation in your life. So maybe you're you're trying to recover the parts of yourself that got buried under years of stress. And that's gonna be a different, uh, a different level of work because it's not going to be about pretending that the hard years didn't happen. It is not about refusing to let them permanently, permanently define your standard. And eventually what you're gonna find is that reclamation

Elevation A Higher Standard After Stress

SPEAKER_00 18:50

is gonna lead to elevation. And elevation, I think, is probably one of the most misunderstood concepts because I think when people hear that word, they I think they misunderstand it for something that meets perfection, arrival, or some polished version of a life uh where nothing is gonna be hard anymore. And that is not even what I mean. You know, elevation, in fact, what it really means is that you now operate from a higher standard because of what the disruption in your life force you to actually learn. You're gonna, you know, through elevation, you're gonna see things more clearly. You're gonna be able to communicate more carefully and effectively, you're gonna be able to protect your peace even more intentionally, you're gonna notice weak structure faster. You're gonna notice it as as the cracks begin to form. You're gonna make some stronger decisions, and then also you're gonna stop confusing reaction with progress or survival with strategy. And I think that is really what happened when I put it all together with C2R2E. You see, the framework did not come from theory first, as I mentioned. It came from pattern recognition after my own personal lived experience that I think I ran you through throughout when I was talking about the whole C2R2E and the different components individually across collapse, confrontation, realignment, reclamation, elevation. And so putting it all together came back from it came about from looking back in retrospect on all of those years and realizing that there was a sequence, there was a specific pattern, there were principles, and that there was a structure underneath the struggle before I even had words to even to even articulate. And so if you're listening right now and trying to make sense of your own disruption, you know, this may also be true for you too. You may also be already living in a transformational pattern that you don't even realize, realize it. You just don't have the language for it just yet. You may already be in the middle of a process that is forcing you to see things more clearly, build more deliberately, protect your peace uh, and take it that more seriously, and then also stop depending on what no longer is working. And that is really, when you put it all together, that's the heart of C2R2E. It's not just framework and what it actually is, it's a pattern of transformation that can be recognized and aligned in real life. It is what happens when collapse exposes reality, confrontation, confrontation forces honesty, realignment builds, helps you build and design the structure, reclamation helps you restore that personal agency, and then elevation becomes simply just a new standard. And then the next piece after that is

Integration Questions For Your Hard Season

SPEAKER_00 21:40

just integrating all of that or integration. So following this episode, this is what I want to leave you with. Think about one hard season you have gone through, or the one you may actually be in right now, and ask yourself what collapsed? What truth are you being forced to confront? What in your life maybe needs to be realigned? And what part of you needs to be reclaimed? And then finally, what higher standard are you is life asking you to build now moving forward? And you may not have called it C2R2E at all. Here's the thing, I didn't either. Um but that does not mean that the pattern, this transformational pattern is not there. Because in fact, it may have been shaping you the whole time and you just didn't know it. So if this episode connected with you and resonated with you and you're living this

Keep Going Coaching Courses Community

SPEAKER_00 22:45

right now, I would like to extend to you an invite to keep going deeper. And you can explore more about what I do through Elevatis Coaching. And if co-parenting or parenting plan structure is part of your life right now as well, I'm going to encourage you to go to my YouTube channel. The link for all of this again is going to be in the description and look at the courses that I generated. And specifically for those looking into parenting plan stuff, go ahead and find the Ironclad Parenting Plan program. It's free, it's educational. And it was specifically built to help people think more clearly about the realities that come with parenting plans and the long-term co-parenting structure. And then also, if you're interested in my seven-day reset program, again, you can go through courses. It's on YouTube and it's titled the seven-day reset. And it takes you through the C2R2E process as well. So a lot of different micro modules out there that will potentially be of benefit and of use to you, and you can apply today. And again, it's free. So I think there's very few things in the world that are actually a hundred percent free, no strings attached to it. And then finally, you know, I want to extend to you a special invite to the Rise community where we actually continue these conversations, and then you can have a also deeper, more personal experience with me. And what we talk about is whatever you want to talk about. Um, we cover topics through transformational resilience, life transition, personal growth, co-parenting, um, professional growth, leadership type stuff, if that's what you're into. And then we focus on taking all of that and helping you build that next baseline with more clarity and structure while having you connected in a community of people of like minds. So, with that being said, the description uh in the description you'll find all the links.

Closing Real-Time Challenges And Hope

SPEAKER_00 24:50

And before I depart, I just want to say, hey, thank you for being here today. Because life is life can be so difficult sometimes. Life can be so hard. And trust me, you know, just because I do this podcast and just because I have a perspective doesn't mean I don't go through my own challenges. In fact, um, at the time of this episode, I'm going through my own challenges with my uh firstborn, my oldest daughter, who's 12 right now. And so there's some challenges there that I'm working through. And I'm I have a C2R2E moment, no kidding, happening in real time right now. So I know, I know what it feels like. So, with that being said, I just want to wish you peace, love, joy, and happiness. And then I can't wait to have another conversation with you on a future episode of the next baseline. So until next time.