You Cannot Go Back, So Build Forward with TJ Baird

Your career can look steady while everything at home quietly fractures and sometimes a six-year-old is the one who says it out loud. I sit down with TJ Baird, creator of Warrior Dad Stories and a 30-plus-year military veteran, to talk about what it really means to be “reforged” through life’s hardest seasons and why transformation is never a straight line.

TJ shares the moment that changed his life: his daughter telling him he was “too scary.” We unpack the armor many of us build in service and leadership, how that armor can protect us in one environment but harm the people we love in another, and what it takes to start taking it off. TJ walks through the long process of counseling, setbacks, and an intensive traumatic brain injury clinic experience at James A. Haley Veterans’ Hospital that helped him reset and keep moving forward.

We also get into storytelling as a tool for healing and connection: how to talk about your experiences without letting critics shut you down, why “thank you” can be the most powerful response to doubt, and how writing becomes legacy. TJ shares the heart behind his book Warrior Dad, written for his daughter, and the creative work that grew from his award-winning poem “Reforged.”

If you care about veteran mental health, military transition, resilient leadership, and showing up with presence as a parent, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway.

Connect with TJ Baird and Warrior Dad Stories:
https://www.warriordadstories.com/
https://www.instagram.com/tjwarriordad/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomas-tj-baird/

Transcript

Meeting At The Gateway Social

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Welcome back to another episode of the Next Baseline. I'm your podcast host, Danny DeHesus, and for today's episode, I am joined by TJ Baird, creator of Warrior Dad Stories. TJ's work sits at the intersection of service, fatherhood, leadership, legacy, and then also what it means to be reforged through life's challenges. So after a very distinguished military career spanning more than 30 years, TJ now uses his ability of storytelling to explore the idea of building from a stronger standard. And that specific idea of being reforged is where our conversation is going to center today. So with that, TJ, I just want to welcome welcome you to the next baseline. I am so glad to have you here and thank you for taking the time and the opp and giving me the opportunity to have this conversation with you.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

Yeah, thanks, TJ. And I will tell you, uh I would say thank you. One, for actually going to the social that we had at the for your gateway course. A lot of folks didn't show up, and we had a, I like to say, a random meeting and a fun discussion on reforging and then how do we take where we were, get through a crucible, reforge ourselves and come out even stronger. So uh thank you for that conversation. Thanks for having on this podcast. I'm really looking forward to this one.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

To me, that night was so interesting, and this is and this is why, because it's not it's not very often when you run into somebody that you have no knowledge about, and to be able to connect over something very specific, but not even just the whole concept of reforge or even elevate elevating yourself. Um, because as we talked about, the next baseline is really about that reaching that next level. Um the framework that that I have going from collapse to elevation is really about making yourself a little bit better you know better along the way. But then also the fact that you have you know this brand warrior dad as well. And so also uh, you know, as a father connecting with their daughter. So that was the other piece too that that as I got to know you and as I got to see your work, as I got to listen to you in in a in a separate different episode um in a in another podcast, those are the things that really, really stood out, stood stood out to me as those points of connection that I could say, wow, I I need to have this guy on the uh uh on the next baseline to have a conversation, but really to give just a different perspective about similar concepts out to the viewership.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

Yeah, thanks a lot. And uh yeah, that the other podcast was fun. It was a good time. And then again, that I think our connection was very easy as in how we think about life, what we're trying to do on life, how we're trying to help others, and how we're trying to connect still with our families, just over our both of our years of service, because it's not hasn't been easy. A lot of sacrifices have been made, especially uh, like say the sacrifices at the uh to the altar of duty for both of us, you currently, and obviously your continued military service, and now me as a retiree, and then how can I reconnect with my family and especially my daughter? As she is fortunately right now only about seven hours down the road, so it makes things a lot easier for me now to go visit her, so it's been fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Absolutely, and I'm I'm sure that's gonna be a great time. I have um my youngest who um I live about 10 minutes away from her mother, and then I have my oldest who who because I'm in Colorado, and my oldest uh primarily lives with her mother out in in the Maryland, the Maryland area. Um, and so one of the things, you know, that I've had to constantly, I think, do redo as a parent is just redefine what does parenting mean to me, especially as as my kids get get older. And so that's had its challenges. And so this is where I think, you know, what I think about in terms of change is that that reforgement, um, especially

The Moment That Started Reforging

SPEAKER_00 3:55

from a parental perspective. So I I'm really curious and interested to hear from you how did you come up with the idea or build on the idea of what it means to be reforged? Like where what was what's the origin story behind it? How did you get it? You know, how did you say, hey, this is this is what I want to talk about?

SPEAKER_02 4:14

Yeah, it's uh it's a very long story, but I'll say I'll give you the reader's digest version, right? Because it's a great, great little uh read there. Um my daughter was six years old, so I want to say uh 2012. Uh I came down the stairs, and there she was at the bottom of the stairs. You can imagine a six-year-old girl standing in front of her dad at the time, and just saying, Hey Pop, you're too scary for me. I I don't want to be here anymore. I want to go home. And so she was living with us over the summertime, and she lived with my ex-wife. And I literally dropped to my knees, tears come out of my eyes. I mean, it was a shock that this uh that my young daughter would tell me I was too scary because I I didn't realize at the time. And that started me on my process, started me on the journey to get better, to get reforged, and it took decades, it took a long time, and it was a lot of fits and starts. And through uh her inspiration, my wife's inspiration, and the help of my friends and my family, I continued to seek help again. I would come off the bandwagon, we get back on the bandwagon. And then last year I spent seven weeks at a traumatic brain injury clinic, going through a host of different things in person or uh yeah, in-person clinic, and I started writing. And uh I started writing about my experiences specifically at the TVI clinic at the James Haley Hospital down there in Tampa. And then I wrote uh actually what eventually turned out to be my award-winning poem. It's called Reforged, and it's a and it's a journey through prep, the post-appoint rehabilitation evaluation program. And I like the idea of reforging because you're taking uh this bent piece of metal, a scrap of metal, a scrap, this ore, whatever it is. It could be something that's coming flaming right, you know, coming right out of the out of the heat as something brand new, or you're taking an old piece of metal, like I would say me, throwing it back into the fire, reheating it, reshaping it, and making it honed and better along the way. So for me, that's how I started the that's how I really kind of got into the reforging and what it really means to be reforged. And then I started, then I took that into my warrior dad story. So I I'd already written a book, or I would say I'd written a collection of poems over about a seven, eight-year period, and then decided to put them together as a collection and then to make it into a story. And so from again, I'm sitting in my room, very I wouldn't say very similar to this, but I was in my hospital room in Tampa. I thought, oh, wouldn't it be an interesting way to connect all the dots, connect these experiences? How do I share these experiences with others? And then I wrote an article about being reforged. Uh I talk about it a lot now about being reforged, and the reforging process continues. It's not a one-and-done thing. You get uh you don't have to go through a traumatic event to be reforged. I and I but I still go through the reforging process because there's always a new you, a new me, or whatever it is. And I'll never be that same person. Frankly, I don't know if I want to be the same person anymore. Uh, but it is really nice to get through the fire and come out honed, and I would say a better person for it.

Core Values That Survive Change

SPEAKER_00 7:32

Now, now let me ask you this, uh, because one of the things I I I talk about, and and and and you said something very, you know, um, very keen here, and I and I want to peel the onion back on that, is being reforced is a is a constant process. The process of transformation is a constant process. And so, and you and you mentioned that there, you know, you got on you got on the the bandwagon and then you got off of it, and and it's just this it's this lifelong process. So, with that, my question for you is is it really possible to even go back to being who you were? And and what I mean by that is if we're constantly changing and if we're aware of of reinvention, of transformation, in your case, you you talk about being reforged. Is there any real way to even if we get off the bandwagon, if you will, is there any real way to even go backwards and become the the old person that that we were? Is that even possible? Especially because we're always changing as people. And so, you know, when I think about change and becoming a different person, I I often think about we never we never we can never go back to who we were yesterday. That person that we were yesterday is gone. It's he's he or she is dead, um, for lack of a better way of putting it. And all the only thing I have is to look from today and forward. So what's your perspective um uh on that?

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Yeah, that that's a really good question. And uh I I my brother and I talk about this quite a bit as well. You have a core tenets of who you are as a self, as your id, as your ego, as whatever, as who I am as TJ Baird, as who you you are as Danny DeHazus, right? You have that core with you, and so you have your intrinsic values, whatever you consider is for your self-worth. That's great because that's that is what you're taking as your starting point, your origin. And as you go through the reforging process, that's still going with you. Because those are the good things about you, those are the things that make who you are as an individual. You don't want to let's say you don't want to get rid of though everything, keep the core tenets that make who you are as a good person, and use those to anchor you. Like for me, number one for me is smile in the world smiles. I have four life and leader principles. I've smiled all through my years as a kid, all up until now, but it's at some point along the way I lost that smile. And so in the reforging process, I reforged myself to get that smile back, metaphorically, literally, and figuratively to get my smile back. And then I have discipline, thought, lord, indeed, be fit, mind, body, and spirit, and live life to its fullest. These are my four core tenets of who I am as an individual. So throughout the reforging process from then till now and into the future, those four things will continue with me through every step of my reforging process. To your point, and we had discussed this earlier while we're at dinner, uh, is yes, you will not be the same person when it comes to perspectives, experiences, uh, outlooks, uh, goals, the destinations, and the journeys, right? Because life is a journey. You're always gonna find destinations, you're gonna get to that destination, you're gonna then you're gonna choose another one, you're gonna keep going. So through the journey, you're gonna change. So it's but at the end of the day, those ten the whatever your core tenets or core values intrinsically, those will stay with you. Those will also strengthen through the reforce process. Uh, and you'll shape them and you'll have a better look at them, a different look at them, and you'll have a better way of explaining them to others as well. Say, hey, I yeah, these for for me, specifically these four things shaped my life when I was a young man. That's somewhere along the line, they faltered specifically. My first one when I smiled, because I was really uh grumpy for grumpy is probably the probably the best term to say, but uh because probably I probably have a lot stronger words out there. Uh but through like I said, through that reforging process, I was able to get my smile back, which is fantastic. You know, I'm happy about it. My wife's happy about it, my family and friends are happy about it. So again, I'll wrap this up as your core tenets, your core values that make you a great person, a good person, keep those, strengthen those through the reforging process. You chip the other stuff out of the way, you learn about them, you find a way to live with them if you can't chip them away, or as you continue to chip them away. So there are two different things that are happening during the process: keeping your core values and then reforging everything else to get you to be a the person you want to become into the future that you'll continue to shape as life happens with you. And then uh, like I said, those four turk those four or for me, those four values, those four core tenants will uh always be with me and help me shape what I want to be like, or who I want to be in the future.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

Okay.

Armor, Counseling, And The Long Road

SPEAKER_00 12:42

Well, follow-on to question to that, because you mentioned you mentioned uh core tenants or core values, you know, and and I and I've heard it now several times. You talk about process, and so there's a process to reforgement, a process to transformation. So from your perspective and your experience, from the time, for example, your daughter said, Dad, you're you you're you're scary, and that decision, right? And that decision to say, hey, I'm going to go through this process of reforgement, this process of transformation. So that so what was it? So what does that process, what did that process look like from from that pivotal moment for you where you said I have to make a change to there to not that you arrive per se, but to where you have the awareness to say, hey, I'm on this journey of reforge. What is that in between from the beginning to to that to that reforge?

SPEAKER_02 13:42

Yeah, it was a very rocky road. So again, the the day of, the time of, the second of my daughter said, I hey dad, you're too scary. I I don't want to be here anymore. I I was carrying a lot of armor. This armor that had encased me and that I encased myself in was to deflect everything that was happening to me at the time. But the problem with all that armor was I couldn't let it out. It was trapped and then it cracked right there. It almost broke. Uh, but it it cracked, and it cracked a lot. And so as the armor started to crack, and I started to realize at that moment, like, oh man, I cannot have my daughter see me as this big scary monster. That no, my I I'm okay with my enemies, the enemies of the US see that. I cannot have my daughter see that. That's not what I wanted to be as a parent, and as specifically a dad. Uh so I and my wife and my wife Joanne was there. I talked to my talked to my brother every day, so we talked about it. And my wife had been telling me, you know, she didn't tell me I told you so, but uh right now, but she said, hey, we've been talking about this for a long time, and now your daughter has really, really said it the best, is that yes, we are scared because we're walking on eggshells around you every day, and it's it's very difficult. It didn't happen right away. It took me a few weeks to go see my counselor for the first time. And you know, I thought I was weak-minded, I thought I was a weak individual, uh, uh, you know, this persona, a very strong guy, doing all these great things for our country. You know, why am I why am I now breaking? Why what is wrong with me? So I had to see myself in the mirror, and I had to tell myself, uh, the armor is breaking. TJ Baird is not breaking. The armor that I had encased myself in, because I was a lot, and that armor is self-deception, and it broke or it's breaking. And it would sometimes it would it would seal back up uh because I deployed and because I was gone a lot, TDY a lot all over the world. And so when I was at home, I would try to get to the counselors and try to talk through a lot of things that were going on in my life, all the things that I experienced in life. And but then I'd go deploy again, the armor would get racked back up. It would seal itself back up. So when I left the organization, I got back out into what I consider the traditional force, and then I started really having issues, sleeping, uh, nightmares, everything else. Then I started to consistently see counselors more and more uh talk about it more openly. That was the big one is how do I talk about it openly? And that was came also in fits and starts in smaller groups that like I would say my trusted friends and families and family circle. And I think one day someone asked me a question when I was uh a brigade sergeant major about what was going on in the world because we were deployed and there were some significant events that were happening. And so I shared a story with them. And then a couple days later, I've had I had folks come up and say, hey, this is the first time I ever heard a senior leader talk about their challenges that they faced, and it really helped them out. And I said, Oh, well, maybe I I could talk about a little bit more. And so I started doing that. And so it was again, it's a it's this big fat side wave, right? It's some days are really good, and some days that side wave was empty because I just didn't do anything about it because uh you know, pick a reason. There's a bunch of excuses, A, for myself, or B, because again, I was deployed in the Army got uh got put back on. And then near my last job is probably a year or two before I left the Army. Uh I really made a conservative. I am leaving the Army. I made the decision to retire about two years out, put my paperwork in and everything. And I sat down with my daughter, sat down with my wife, said, okay, I'm retiring. I cannot be this person when I retire. I just can't I cannot be this person, this guy that's encased in all this armor. And so I uh I reached up to some resources that I had some recommendations to for the uh a lot of different resources, and I found myself like I sit down in Tampa for a three-week evaluation, and that was really the big start of my reforging process. And after I retired, I spent seven weeks down there. Again, it's all inpatient, and it's very intensive. It is not easy, it is not pretty. Uh you just see it, it wasn't just me. Obviously, there were there were 15, 16 other folks in there going through a very similar process, and it was hard on all of us, but we were all there together. We were all there supporting each other, which is kind of nice. It's actually really nice. I still talked to a lot of my teammates. And through this decade-long process, decade-plus process, uh, I realized that yeah, uh I can remove the armor. It's okay to have some armor on you, but it just has to be, I would say, flexible armor, right? Because things happen in life. You have to get through, you have to, you do have to persevere through life. You just can't go through life and take punches all the time and not be able to stand back up. So you have a little bit of armor on you, but you gotta be able to take it off and keep moving forward at some point. And so last year, once I was done, I got home and I just felt much better. And then I and I talk about a lot like a lot. And every time I talk about like with you here today and with other folks and smaller circles or larger circles, whatever it is, it's a reminder for me as well. Do not stop. And we call it a process because we uh you know, it's a system, it's a process. It's I mean, for lack of a better word, and it you're right, it is a process to get from where we were to where we are today and where we want to go, but it's not a straight line. It's very orthogonal. It's all over the place. Okay, I'm going to go here, I'm gonna go here, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this. But each step of the way is gonna help me, it's gonna help you, it's gonna make help all of us to be better people and from going to make a lives better for our friends and family. And that's what I think most people want to do. And uh through this process, I really learned the value of doing that.

Telling Your Story Out Loud

SPEAKER_00 19:58

Yeah, and and here's the thing, and you know, as you mentioned, that one of the things I think about is you know, there's so many different components to to life, you know, whether we have our careers, we have our relationships, right? We have we have our social lives. And the fact of the matter is, you know, we could be doing really, really well. We could be really thriving, for example, in our careers, especially I think as as folks in the military, I think we're really good at that. But a lot of us too, especially, you know, if you go back to Operation Enduring Freedom, Operation Iraqi Freedom, um, some of the contingencies that's ha happened since since then, out a lot of it out in the Middle East. Um, you know, I think we I think a lot of us as military members show up really, really well, you know, at the job, but the family, for example, is what's uh a lot of times starts to deteriorate or starts to take uh you know uh start starts to be put to the side just a little bit. And then there's other things, you know, that we that we encounter, you know, you were alluding to it in terms from a mental health perspective. So what what I hear you talk about, TJ, it's not just that reforging is not just a it's not only it is not just a linear process, it could be here, there, and everywhere. But also you reforge becoming reforged is not just a one part of life type of thing. It could be you need to reforge maybe in your career, maybe in how you show up as a parent, perhaps how you show up as a husband, perhaps how you how how you show up in in your day-to-day relationships, or just show up also in society as well. You know, you also talk about um you also pretty much talk about giving it a voice, being able to talk about it. And and I think there's power to that. And and I don't think uh because holding things in is almost like keeping the poison in it, poison in it for a lack of a better better. Way of putting it, but the moment, the moment you give it a name, the moment you get a give it a voice, I almost feel like you can then do something with it. What are your thoughts on all of that?

SPEAKER_02 22:10

Uh I fully agree. And uh when you talk about the process and everything going, there is a line, right? So you have this line, it's good, it is going forward, right? That's time. I say that line is time. That's all that's the time you have and the energy you have, and it's your ability within that time, wherever you are within that timeline, to reforge yourself. So it's like you said, it you're gonna bounce around that time all around the scale, but that that but that linear line is time and the effort we put into making ourselves better.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

And then when it comes to getting the word out, that has been difficult.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

That's difficult for a lot of people because it's your life that's out there. You know, these are your experiences that we like to use the word vulnerable, and we can use it, and that's fine. It's your life, my life, someone's life that we're gonna talk about. And I talk about my experiences because I lived them. You talk about your experiences because you lived. Although we may have shared experiences, we may have gone through exactly the same experience, but it will always be from a different perspective. And so we go out there and we share our lives and our stories, and we put that out there for people to comment one way or the one way or another, uh, to learn from it one way or another. And that's what makes it fun. It makes it challenging. So for me, when I say live life to its fullest and smile, the world smiles with you, uh those two come into effect, right? Because it's fun to get yourself out there, it's fun to learn about other people, it's fun to talk with other people. Uh a share my experience and listen to their experiences. Uh, but again, it's also maybe distressing might be a little too hard of a harsh of a word or maybe too too strong of a word, but it's uh uh it is there, and you're like, oh my gosh, what do people think of me now, right? They see you, they see me, they see this persona that we put out in front of everybody, but now I'm talking about something that I very rarely or you used to never really talk to anybody about. And then you step back and wait for whatever feedback they give you. And like I said, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. My bad feedback, I mean more like calling names and this, everything else. Oh, you're weak, you're this and that. And I will say for the audience here is anytime someone tells you that you're weak and denigrates the process you're going through, you just tell them two words. You just tell them thank you. Thank you for doubting me. Thank you for letting me know your thoughts. Thank you for your negativity. Because at the end of the day, I'm gonna take your words and I'm gonna strengthen myself because I know that you have now made me more resolute in what I want to do in my reforging process. You can try to bring me down, you can try all these things that cut me off at the knees, but I'm gonna continue to stand back up. I'm gonna continue through the this line the this process of reforging, regardless of what you say. And then again, it goes back to every time I have this conversation with somebody, it's a continued reminder for me, and hopefully it'll be a continued reminder for others or an inspiration for others to share your story. And it could be just an easy story, it could be a very complicated story, it's whatever you're comfortable with to get out there and just share experiences because at the end of the day, stories connect people. That's it. The written word has not been around that long, and we think it's been around that long, long time. But realistically, when you I mean, I just read a great book called YQ Needs You, and that's the letter U. The written alphabet from time, well I would say, not say memorial, but from in the way, way back till today hasn't been around that long. But stories have. I may maybe I'll try that next time to if I'm in that situation or whatever it is, right? So again, the um the sharing of the stories has been it's been tough. I'm getting more and more comfortable with it. And I always encourage others to do the same.

Writing Warrior Dad And Cool Bear

SPEAKER_02 26:47

Get out there and share your story.

SPEAKER_00 26:49

Well, speaking of sharing stories, so I know you have a book, um, maybe you have a couple books out there. So I would be remiss if we did not quickly talk about your book here. Um, so you know, my understanding is you wrote that for your daughter, and I think that's a powerful thing. You know, you talk about stories, you talk about vulnerability, you talk about putting your story out there. TJ, there's no uh I I think putting it in in a book is really the ultimate sharing with the world your story, especially as it's written and the time that you take to have done that. There's a lot of deliberacy in that. So can you talk, can you quickly talk about your book about your book, what what it's about, how did you get to writing that book, and then also where they can find you um and and and your work?

SPEAKER_02 27:38

Yeah, so I have him with me. This is Cool Bear. And my daughter gave me Cool Bear on my last deployment, and he went everywhere, and I mean everywhere with me. He got a lot of pictures, and I started writing about him on my last deployment, and and it was all for my daughter because she gave it to me, and I would send her a picture, I would send some haikus with her, a little bit of some odes or poems, and I would send them to her, and I not all of them, but just maybe one or two, and then I just continue to write. I said, Man, this is a lot of fun. What if I inserted Cool Bear into my previous memories, all my previous deployments when I was and he's watching us do all the things? And so I started doing that, and I actually have a book called The Adventures of Cool Bear, which the manuscript is done, the volume one, and I I just gotta figure out time when I'm gonna get that released. But then I realized as I was taking this collection of writing things and to put them into a story, I realized some were a little too complex for very young readers, for or for you know, if we're talking about toddler's or some of this. So, well, maybe I'll pull those out and take some of the haikus and I'll expand them into odes. I'll start writing more and more and more. And and then again, it's all from my daughter. It was so show my daughter, regardless of where I was in the world, whatever I was doing. And specifically these writers are focused on my combat tours. Uh, even through the most difficult and I would say hellish moments, when I had that quiet time, I always thought of her, you know, V Star, the shiny light in my life. Her light shielded me and allowed me to shield others while I was overseas. And so that's where the writing came from. Uh, it wasn't meant to be a book at all. I just wrote. It wasn't meant to be anything, just so I could give it to my daughter. Uh, and then again, uh, I think right before I retired, I was chatting with a friend of mine. He's like, you should put these together and make a story. And so my buddy Dave, who's been with me through a lot uh from the very beginning when I was uh going through the my comment deployments, uh he helped me shape the story as in I've got I have all this all these writings, but how do I put it into a great story arc? And so right now, Warrior Dad comes out. In fact, it launches 23 May, so I've got about uh shoot, 11 days to go, so I'm pretty excited about that. And it's a story of a dad who's deploying, his daughter is six, because it I really am very specific when she's six, because that's when my started my reforged process. And you see him deployed, thinking about her, talking to her, hey, I hope she's doing this. Maybe will she, you know, as she crosses a river, will she think about uh all the times that I said I love you, all the times I remember you, all the times that uh all the time, all the things that we had sacrificed, especially time, to ensure you have a better life. And then his dad comes home when she's 20. That's the age of my daughter now, so her young adult years. And it is a very powerful book. I've had a lot of uh men and women read it. A lot of moms and dads have read it uh that have been in the military, not in the military, not even associated with the military, and they'll uh put the book down after a couple of and say, this is way too powerful. It's a really good reading, it's gonna be great for my children, but I can only read a few at a time. I said, Well, it's good or bad. They're like, No, it's really good. It's just it's very emotional. And uh, so I'm excited to have it come out. Uh I'm really excited to get the Adventures of Cool Bear out, hopefully later this year. And for uh for you and for everyone else, uh, you can definitely hit me up at warrior dadstories.com. And on there you'll see all the everything for my pre-launch for the books and everything. And then uh on the Creative Forge, I have my award-winning poem and plus uh a video of all the haikus I made while I was down in prep, which was a lot of fun because those men and women down there, they took uh broken toys, right? A bunch of people that are now to say, hey, you know, the land of misfit toys was really the land of broken toys. And they put us back together, wound us back up, and pushed us out the door like fledgling uh birds, and here you go, time to fly on your own now. And it's been really good. So I wrote something for them because they were just an amazing group of men and women who spent an extraordinary amount of time on uh uh on a I would say a small amount of people as they go through each cycle. Uh, but what they do is very impactful, and I cannot thank them enough for the men and women at the at James Haley Hospital, specifically the prep team and everybody who supports them. They are just amazing. I um so yeah, for for you all, thank you very much for helping the million men and women like us who go through there and and uh help us through our reforging process. So that's kind of my Warrior Dad book, where you can find me at warrior dadstories.com. And then again, a huge shout out to the team there for for allowing this journey to not only start, but to continue through my life as well.

SPEAKER_00 32:46

Yeah, and I'll make sure the that that link is definitely in the description and links to where your social media and where you can be found so that folks can directly connect with connect with you and connect with your work.

Presence As The Main Takeaway

SPEAKER_00 32:56

So so TJ, uh just some parting words here. So if if there's if you can summarize everything, you know, what what being a warrior dad really means, especially now, you know, going from when your daughter was born through, you know, now an adulthood, young adult, 20 years old, you know, your military career, that process that that you've transformed throughout the years, not just from a combat vet perspective, but then also from the fact, just from a military leader perspective, and then transforming from that to becoming a better father and a better husband to now retiree, to now writer. You know, there's a lot, there's a lot of change that has happened over here over the last 30 years, all right? So so what can you give to the listeners? You know, if there's anything that they take can take away from this episode and from hearing your story, what would it be?

SPEAKER_02 33:55

Sure. Be present, be there, be your kid's greatest cheerleader, your significant other's greatest cheerleader. And really it's all about presence. When you're at home, be at home. Put the phone away, put whatever it is away. If you're out watching your kids' game, if you're out supporting them, whatever they're doing, focus on them. Let them be the focus and just cheer them on. Don't coach them unless you are the coach for what you know. That's that's fantastic. But if you're uh in the audience, do whatever it is, just enjoy the moment with your family. Because that's what I I missed a lot of that uh because I was gone so much, but the presence piece is huge, and when they feel it, you'll feel it, and and it's just uh it's very uplifting. And it can be very difficult, and there are a lot of distractions in all of our lives. Uh, but at the end of the day, you only get one one chance at life, and you get one chance at really establishing yourself, me specifically as a dad and a father, as a trophy husband, as my wife likes to say, and as a good person. Uh so we've got these chances, and we just got to take make the most of it. So, again, for you, my friend, it is all about presence and being there for those that you love and those that love you.

Wrap-Up And Staying Connected

SPEAKER_00 35:11

Well, there you have it, everyone. So, this is TJ Barrett again with Warrior Dad Stories. So, the links in will be in the description below, along with his links to his social media. So, with that, we learned a lot today about what the process of reforge, what it means to transform throughout your life, and that also, you know, your life doesn't just stop just because you had some things happen, but it actually keeps going. And the most important thing that we could do is be in the present moment and be the best person that we can be. And then if you're a parent for all those parents that are out there, continue to be present with your children. It's gonna be challenges, but um just be there, you know, be there, be that, be that man, be that woman, be that, be that parent, be there for your family, regardless whether you you're you you you have the nuclear household going, or if you're single parent um along along the way. Everything TJ just talked about today is very much applicable. So with that, TJ, any parting words before before we conclude?

SPEAKER_02 36:10

I just want to say thanks a lot, DJ. Thanks for the thanks for sitting down and chatting with me, not only today, but at the dinner. It was amazing. Just uh listening to your story as well. So keep getting the word out. I think that's your platform here is fantastic. And if uh if there's anything I can do to help spread your word, your podcast, please let me know. I will gladly do it because what you are doing is not only reforging yourself, you're also helping others, and I really do appreciate that. So, and then uh when I get to Colorado, because I will be passing through, I will let you know so we can we can go out and have some dinner, chill out for a little bit, do whatever we gotta do. But uh, I'm looking forward to uh coming out to visit you out in California at some point. Oh, it's good, good lord, Colorado at some point.

SPEAKER_00 36:55

Oh man, no, that'd be that would be great. So I would definitely look forward to that. So so uh I'm sure I'm I'm assuming uh and some assuming it's is is a bad is a real bad term, um, but I'm assuming you may have been stationed at Fort Carson, or maybe not, um, but I'm assuming you have been through Colorado at the very least, considering your your world travels.

SPEAKER_02 37:16

Oh yeah, I've uh I've visited out there, never been stationed out there. It's a beautiful place. I have been to Fort Carson a time or two. Uh I have passed through there on just on vacation, and it's really not that far down the road. I mean, it's a it's a quick, easy drive for me because I'm retired. I got all the time in the world now. It's fantastic. Retired life is great.

SPEAKER_00 37:34

Yeah, it's like an eight-hour, I think it's like an eight-hour drive uh one one way from Omaha out here. So absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 37:42

So now that I'm retired, that's a two-day trip.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Hey, you know, sometimes sometimes the best trips are the ones that you're just taking your your time and you're just enjoying and and and being present, being present in in the moment. So so that that makes that time definitely memorable and worth worthwhile. So so with that, hey TJ, again, thanks uh thanks for tuning in to the viewership. Hey, thanks for tuning tuning into another episode of the next baseline. I look forward to uh connecting with you in a future episode until next time.