3. Why I Burned my Coaching Business to the Ground

In this solo episode, I'm sharing my candid journey of stepping back from my coaching business to re-align with true inner purpose. I'm sharing the true ups and downs of building my own business, and the trap many people fall into when trying to build a coaching business - a lack of authenticity. 

With the rise of coaching and social selling, I highlight the inner truths around what it really takes to build something successful from a place of alignment, not pressure.

This is for other women who may be struggling with their own entreprenuership journeys and have no idea where to turn next. I'm sharing the spiritual l and practical steps to help you on your path to true happiness doing work you love everyday.

Follow me on Instagram: @sophiefengaras

Sign up to become a member of the Women Leaders Club Canada: https://www.womenleaders-canada.com

Transcript

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Good morning, good afternoon, wherever you are listening from, my beautiful people. Welcome to the Woman Who Speaks podcast with your host, Sophie Dimitra Fengaris. And today is a solo episode. Now, my beautiful audience, people that are following me, it's been a while since I recorded my next episode because there's been so much happening in my life. But I'm so excited to have this podcast as the vessel in which I can share my voice. I can share my own journey, my own experience, and inspire other women to become more visible, to speak on stages, to share their mission because they are here to be seen. They are here for the masses. They are here to rise and help the collective. And so through my own journey, I'm here to uprise other women on the same path. And today I'm actually going to be sharing why I stopped coaching. And let me just give you a bit more clarification when I say I've stopped coaching. I've stopped marketing my coaching. And I've been going through a lot of transitions and a lot of shifts in the last few months. And I do have private clients, but I stopped working with a lot of my clients. And I'm here to share with you very openly and honestly my own journey building a coaching business and why I decided to effectively burn my old coaching business to the ground. Which might sound really dramatic to you guys, but at one point my coaching business was the only thing I was doing. It was my full-time thing, and I was pouring in so much effort, so much into it. And where do I start? There was just real clear signals of a lack of alignment. And that's why I had to burn my coaching business to the ground. So we're gonna get into it. And the reason why I'm sharing this is because I don't just want to make this about me and why I did this. It's because I'm here to share with you what true authenticity means, what it means to help other people and serve through your purpose. Because I'll be honest, I've seen in the coaching industry, and I fell into this trap myself. So nobody is in the wrong. But in the coaching business, because I have been around long enough to see the ins and outs, build a large network in the coaching business, and also work with a lot of coaches myself, I can see there is a lot of, let's say, a lack of authenticity and the desire to make sales over actually helping people. And that used to be me, right? And I pulled myself out of that because for me, that was not me operating from my heart, but there are so many coaches that do that. And you know, I've fallen into that trap of working with people that do that. And I've also worked with really amazing people, but I've also worked with people that weren't fully embodied in their own experience to then teach others. And so I think that the coaching industry is such a bubble where you get coached to, you know, build a business or whatever it is by someone who is also in the process of building a business or in the process of learning sales or in the process of building their own relationship romantically, right? And so I'm saying this because we are all on our own journeys. And the best thing we can do from for ourselves, because we get into this industry to help people, is ultimately come back to our core authentic purpose and what we're actually here to do to serve the collective, right? And so I'll share very openly that I got plunged into my coaching business full-time when I actually lost my job. And so I saw it as a sign from the universe to go all in, and I'm so glad I did. But it was also a very scary and very dark time in my life where I had no idea what I was doing. I had no experience in building a coaching business, I had no experience in selling, I had no experience in building content, everything I had started from the very beginning. And along with that, I was very, very unclear on what my purpose actually was and who I was here to serve. And I just don't think there was anything I would have changed back then when I started, because I wouldn't have got to the place I am at now if I hadn't gone through various experiences. And so sometimes we we're just so blocked, we're so unclear of what our path actually is that it leads us to focus on areas that don't actually align for us. So for me, I pivoted my coaching business so many times. I mean, it's actually kind of funny, guys. And from the outside, you know, it probably looked like to other people who is she? Like, why does she keep changing her mind or why does she keep moving so fast? And the reason why is because yes, I went through several different identities and I moved very, very quickly. But I think that looking back, it was very clear I did not have the clarity. I did not listen to my inner voice enough. And I also was trying to find the thing that I thought would make me money. And I'll be very honest in saying that yes, I've fallen into that trap of choosing things that make me money. I did it with law and I did it with my coaching business, right? And there are so many people that do that because of course we want to make a living, of course, we want to get by, of course we want to, you know, we want to enjoy and bear the fruits of our labor. But when we build from a place of money before alignment, the money is actually tainted. The money is not pure. And that was the case when I was a lawyer as well, and I was making very good money, you know, really, really good money, tax-free. But the money was tainted because I wasn't happy being a lawyer. And so I went through various pivots in my coaching business. I was helping people leave the nine to fives, I was a human design coach, and then I was a sales coach, and I'm sure there were a few other things which I called myself along the way. And, you know, I had clients, I worked with lots of fantastic people, and it was amazing. But I also struggled. I was barely scraping 2k a month, and that's the truth. Um, that's not something I would have admitted publicly back then because I would have felt too ashamed. And I'm confident to say to you guys, it's not easy, right? It's not easy building an audience, it's not easy building trust, it's not easy building a community. And those are the real valuable assets that take time. It doesn't have to, you know, happen over five years, but there is a certain amount of nurturing that goes into that, right? Especially when you need to come from a place of true alignment. And so I really got to a point where I felt like something was wrong. Something was wrong. And to top this all off, when I was a lawyer, I had these dreams of, you know, leaving my job and then building a life of freedom, coaching my own clients and and all this. I got that, you know, I actually got that. I manifested that. But there was still something that didn't feel right because I would just get up and I would still feel a bit lost with my day. You know, what do I need to do? What what can I do to make the business go like keep moving and how can I make more sales? There were days where I just felt so lost and I didn't know what I was doing, and I felt alone. And I sat there in my kitchen and I said to myself, There must be more to my life than just this. You know, even if I had ample coaching clients, me just sitting working in front of my laptop from my house. Really? Is that it? You know, it was like the same inner voice that told me many, many years ago, Sophie, you are made for more than being a lawyer. You can't be a lawyer for the rest of your life. It was that same voice that came up with the coaching. It was like, really, you are meant for more. You're meant to be in front of people, you're meant to interact with people, you're meant to be on stages and all these things. And I had such a strong desire for a long time to be a speaker and to build the momentum to start building a speaking career, and I hadn't done that. And so this all happened around, I would say, January this year, where I really started being quite honest with myself about where things weren't working, where I wasn't operating from true authenticity and where I was maybe being in denial with myself. And when I stepped out of my coaching business, it wasn't easy. Played around with, okay, do I just keep moving forward or do I not? And I say this because I think there are so many people that have a desire, they have a goal, right? Like whether it's coaching or whether it's something else, you want to build a business and you want to serve people, and that was always my mission. And so to step away from something, it almost feels like, am I giving up? Am I actually failing? And so those thoughts went through my mind. I either keep pushing and trying to make this work, or I step back and I really evaluate, okay, what is my intuition trying to tell me and where am I going next? And so I did the latter. I took a step back. And let me tell you, I think that there's a difference between giving up and taking a pause. And that's essentially what happened to me. Because in everything I tried helping people with, what I truly didn't have to a certain extent was the embodiment. And I did the sales coaching for a little bit and I really enjoyed it at that time. I really enjoyed helping women become more confident in sales, but I hadn't fully embodied that in myself. And I hadn't built up enough experience to help other women with that, you know, and I thought, you know what, I can learn it through my business. But truth be told, that if I was on the other side as a client, I would probably go to the woman who has 10 years of experience over the woman that has, you know, one year. And I took a step back and I did a lot of inner work on myself. You know, I really, I really was just present with the unknown. I didn't know where I was gonna go next, but I knew I was doing something good by stepping back and listening to my voice. And it was around that time that I had a role, I saw a role come up to be a legal ghostwriter, which was very much up my street because my background's law. This is a ghostwriting role on LinkedIn. I love LinkedIn, and I was a bit hesitant. I didn't know if it would be my type of thing, if I would enjoy it, whether I should just keep focusing on the coaching business, but you just gotta listen to your gut. And I woke up one morning and the voice just said to me, apply for the role. So I did. Now, again, we can keep butting heads when we feel like something's not working. And I think there's a difference between you're on the right path, keep going, you're doing amazing versus you're pushing, you're trying, but this is really not for you. And I was really on the latter side of things, right? And so let me tell you, the world is full of so much abundance that if you don't like something, you can find some other opportunities out there, you know, working for other great people. And that's exactly what I've got with my legal ghostwriting role. I have the most amazing team, the founder is incredible, my hours are so flexible. And that was the first time since I left my legal career that I had this inner peace where I felt like I could rest in my feminine because I was I'm getting income, which is very good. And I'm able to do something I enjoy because I really enjoy this role. And alongside that, I get to do the inner spiritual work on myself to really go deep in myself, in my mission, and where life is taking me next, right? And that's been so beautiful. So let me tell you, you know, even when you step away from something, you're making space for something else if it doesn't feel right for you. And that's what happened to me. Now, around this time is when the opportunity to build Women Leaders Club Canada came up because I had been speaking with Daniela Bauman, the founder of the Women Leaders Club, which originates from Dubai, and she said to me, Why don't you just build one in Canada? And I did not hesitate at the opportunity. I took it. And I think with my experience in coaching and the fact that I had started my speaker journey, for me, this felt like true, true alignment. And so I realized, okay, me stepping away from something that doesn't feel aligned means you're making space for new things to come through. And so these two amazing things came through for me. And it was around that time that I also did a speaking competition in Toronto. My gut was telling me to do it. You had to invest to do it. I can't remember how much I paid, but I did it and I paid extra to have a coach as well. And I can tell you that that was the best decision I ever made because it was a five-minute talk that we had to give on stage, and it was not easy preparing my talk. Like it was so it involved me going so deep into my own path, into my childhood, into my shadows, into the deeper layers beyond me just choosing law and then leaving law, right? And my coach was incredible. And through that experience, I really finally, finally connected to my soul and realized this is my purpose. It was never about helping people leave the matrix or, you know, helping people sell or whatever else. It was about helping women feeling safe in their voice again and being comfortable with deeper levels of visibility and larger impact. Because that was the journey that I went through in my childhood where I was an extrovert on stage. I love performing, I love acting and singing. And there were certain experiences in my life where people shut me down, or there were places that shut me down from my voice. And so I silenced my voice. My throat chakra has been blocked for most of my life. And it wasn't until this journey of obviously leaving my job and then going through all of these experiences in my coaching business and then jumping into this speaking competition that I finally learned. It's about me being able to use my voice and feel safe using my voice and helping other women do the same. And so bear with me here because this is really a story. But the story is that we don't always get the inner clarity that we desire, right? It's through the lived experience. I'm grateful for the moments that I was in my coaching business and I was really frustrated and I was really unsure where I am going next. And I was really feeling down, you know, because I had a huge drop in my income. And all the pivots I made, I wouldn't have changed anything because it made me learn and understand what it means to connect as a woman to your mission so deeply that you then know how to bring that mission out into the world and help other people. And for me, that's helping other women leaders feel safe in their voice and with visibility. And the reason why I am still not fully coaching or I'm not marketing my coaching is because I'm actually going through this experience myself. I have definitely done a lot of work on my voice. I used to hide, I used to not speak up. I would not be the person that would put their hand up in a meeting. I would shut down my feelings and just, you know, sit in my room and express them to myself. And I definitely wouldn't push myself on stage like I did at the start of this year. And so I've done the inner work, but there's still a lot that I want to hold and embody before I really bring this into the collective and bring it in my coaching. And so I'm saying this because if that's you as well, let yourself be the research that you need to do. There is no rush, there is no timeline for coaching or for mentoring. You need to be the lived and embodied vessel of what you're helping people with. And it doesn't mean that you don't get to help people right now. Because through the Women Leaders Club Canada, which is the exclusive club for women that I'm building here, and membership has already opened. So it's gonna, it's a club for networking, it's a club for helping women step on stages, become more visible, network and collaborate with other women. This actually aligns so deeply to my purpose, and it came at such a perfect point because I get to now embody all of these motions of what I want to coach other women with. And so, you know, a few people have asked me, like, you know, are you gonna promote your coaching again? And blah, blah, blah. And I've just said to them, no, not yet. I know when the time is gonna be right that I'm gonna bring it out into the world, but right now my focus is on building the Women Leaders Club Canada and on building my speaker journey. And so I have never felt more aligned in my life. I have never felt happier in my life because I am true to my voice. I am true to myself. I'm no longer pretending to be anybody else. And I think that when it comes to coaching, we still wear this mask, right? We want people to like us, we want people to buy our services, we want to come across as perfect, we want to come across as the full package, you know, we want to speak in a certain way and all these things. And I I went through all of those motions and it was tiring and it wasn't real. And when you are not authentic to yourself, you will not attract the clients, you will not attract the money, you will not attract the abundance in your life. And so you need to operate from a place of going deep into what is my specific mission, right? And that means you have to look back at your childhood. It means going through your deep shadows, it means asking yourself, what are the pivotal points in my life that have led me to where I am right now? Okay. And that's different for everyone. And then you can ask yourself, where am I going next? Because that also is part of, you know, who you're here to help, right? It's where you're going next too. And so for me, when I did that, that was through the public speaking competition. That really helps me get clear on my mission. Maybe you do something similar, you know, maybe you put yourself to be on a stage that forces you to get clear on your story. Or maybe it's writing a book. Maybe it is just doing a podcast. All of these mechanics can really, really help you express yourself and actually get clear on what your mission is. And so I'm grateful for that experience. And today I've never felt more aligned. And I'm not, you know, I've got one coaching client at the moment that I'm working with privately, and I have another one that's starting in a few months, but I've never felt more aligned in all of my endeavors, and I've never felt happier. And I never thought I would say that as someone who was so obsessed and so focused. I have to build my coaching business, I have to build my coaching business. And now I know that I am just going through the motions, I'm embodying the type of clients that I'm gonna be helping, and I'm already helping people through my content, through the Women Leaders Club, the connections I'm building, the events I go to. There are so many ways that you can make impact that you don't even realize, right? And so I think that at one point I was a bit disillusioned with the whole coaching industry because I've been through the full circle. And I also see other coaches market themselves the same, post the same type of content, speak in the same way. And that used to be me. And I could not be further from that right now. I don't schedule my content anymore. I write my LinkedIn posts the same morning. They go out. I don't spend hours on LinkedIn and the DMs anymore. I don't currently do outreach, cold outreach, I mean. And I don't do any of those structured things right now, and I'm so happy, you know? And so I'm just sharing my own experience of the industry. And I think that you've got to follow your own heart. You've got to follow your own inner voice. My journey is gonna be different to yours. And I'm just simply sharing my own inner truth. And I think there's so much power in sharing your inner truth. Because literally, guys, I could have just sat on my bed tonight and done something else. I could have scrolled. I could have froloked on my phone or whatever. But instead, you know, I had this little voice inside of me say, share your story, share why you're not coaching right now so that other people can hear this message too. Because there is so much lack of alignment in this industry. And there are people that do push, push, push with the sales over helping people. You know, I've had mentors tell me, just focus on being a woman of service. Just focus on being a woman of service. The money, the income, it will come afterwards, right? Not the other way around. And my hope is that more people understand and resonate with that. It's about giving people value, even well before they decide to, you know, sign up with you or they're interested in what you do. You know, this is what it's really about. This is why we get into this industry in the first place. And so I'm just enjoying being me. I'm enjoying what I'm doing. I'm enjoying my life in Canada. And I enjoy posting content now. I enjoy networking. I do a lot of networking. I enjoy building relationships with women. I enjoy preparing my keynote talks. I am, you know, starting to organize events with the Women Leaders Club. This is like a new experience for me. I'm doing all of these things and it just feels amazing. You can serve your purpose in so many ways. And so even though I stopped coaching, I'm serving my purpose in other ways. And let that be your vessel in which you can do the same thing too, because that's how abundant this world is with opportunities. So if you're in this phase of life where maybe you're feeling like, oh, should I keep doing this? Or yeah, should I just not continue my business? Should I do something else? Should I go back to my nine to five? Blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever. Just trust what your gut is telling you. Maybe your gut is telling you to keep going because you're so connected and you know in your heart, your hungry heart, you are on the right path. Or maybe, like me, you knew there was a lack of alignment, and that's okay. You get to step back, you get to re-evaluate, and you get to decide which turning you want to take in life. And neither is wrong. But truth be told, we have to be of service to others. I think this is the message I want people to hear. Be of service to others in whatever it is that you're doing. And know income always follows. So I hope this resonated with you in some way. And I'm just happy I could share my truth today. And I'm not gonna lie, guys, I'm recording this from my bedroom right now with my green tea. And it's very late here at night. But when you feel the energy, when you feel the resonance, when you feel there's a message that needs to come through your body and out your voice, it has to be shared in the moment. And we can't always wait for that perfect moment. And we can put it off and put it off, but we just need to put it out there, right? And that's something that I am embodying now in my own way of being the advocate for helping more women use their own voice as well. Is nothing has to be perfect. It really doesn't. And we get to just share so openly from our hearts. Because if we can at least impact one person with our message, we're doing a great thing, right? Whether one person listens, whether 10 listen, or whether 50,000 listen. So I'm sending you guys so much love. Please feel free to drop me a message if this really resonated with you, or you just love to connect because I am a woman of impact. I'm here to impact other women. I'm here to help other women be seen and help other women on their own journeys in their own visibility. And so I am here for you guys. I'm giving you so much of my support as well. And I will see you in the next episode.