Episode 3 What Actually Happens in Therapy With Me

What actually happens in therapy?

Because for a lot of people, there can be hesitation.

You might be curious… but also unsure.

You might wonder:

“What will it be like?”

“Will I have to talk about everything straight away?”

“Will I lose control?”

“What if I don’t know what to say?”

And all of those questions are completely valid.

So in this episode, I’m going to gently walk you through:

Connect, Follow & Continue Your Journey

If this episode resonated with you, you’re very welcome here.

To stay connected and continue exploring these gentle, supportive conversations:

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Explore More & Work With Me
You can find more information about my work, upcoming sessions, and one-to-one support here: www.mindfulmomentstherapies.co.uk

I offer counselling, hypnotherapy, and somatic-based approaches, working with adults, children, couples, and groups,  both face-to-face in Havant and online across the UK.

Stay Connected
You can also explore more resources, updates, and insights via the website, with more ways to connect coming soon.

A Gentle Reminder
You don’t have to have everything figured out.

Sometimes, the most important step is simply giving yourself space to pause… and notice.

Until Next Time…
Take things at your own pace.
And allow yourself to reconnect in whatever way feels right for you.
 

Take care.

Phiona 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hello and welcome back. I'm really glad that you're here with me today. And if you listen to the previous episode, you'll already have a sense of the kind of space I like to create. One that feels calm, supportive, free from judgment, a space where you can be seen and heard, and sometimes see and hear yourself for the first time, which is so crucially important. Today I was going to talk about something that many people can feel unsure about, but don't always ask. What actually happens in therapy? And for a lot of people, there can be hesitation. You might be curious, but also unsure. You may wonder, what will it be like? Do I have to talk about everything straight away? They're going to ask me loads of questions. Are they going to give me loads of advice? What if I lose control? What if I've got nothing to say? And you may have loads of other questions that you just don't know until you get here. But all of those questions are completely valid. So in this episode, I'm going to gently walk you through what therapy with me looks like, how I work, the different approaches like hypnotherapy, somatic work, EFT, tapping, IEMT, eye movement, breath work, and counselling. And hopefully help you to feel a little more at ease with the idea of starting. Or maybe just even piquing your curiosity. Maybe giving you the courage to reach out. And that may not even be to me, it might be to another therapist that you feel aligned to. And that's also okay. First of all, there is no one way to do therapy. One of the most important things I'd love you to know is therapy is not about doing it right. There's no perfect way to show up. Every therapist works in a way that's unique to them. It's also okay to ask your therapist when you first contact them how they work. How that resonates for you. Does that feel comfortable? Or does it offer some discomfort? Because working out the support you need is the most crucial part. Because therapy is a relationship, it's a therapeutic relationship. It's probably like one you've never had before. Because there's an element of you sharing with your therapist, but you not hearing much about your therapist at all. And that is also okay. So there is no perfect way to show up. You don't need to have your thoughts organized. You don't even know where to start. You don't need to have the right words. In fact, often many people come to their first session saying, I don't even know why I'm here. I just know something doesn't feel right. And that's more than enough. My role is not to analyze or fix you. It's to walk alongside you for as long as you need, and to help you make sense of your experiences at your pace. One of the most common questions that I do get is what is the difference between therapy and counselling? Is therapy the same as counselling? And the honest answer is they overlap quite a lot. But here's a simple way to understand it. Counseling can often focus on talking through your experiences, giving you a space to be heard, to process emotions, and to glean clarity. Therapy, and particularly the way that I work, sometimes goes a little deeper. It can still include talking, but we can also work somatically through the body, the senses, the nervous system, the emotional patterns and the subconscious responses. So rather than just understanding why you feel a certain way, you can also gently work with how those feelings are held in your body, how they can begin to shift. Neither is better than the other. It's about what feels right for you. So what happens in a session with me? A lot of people imagine therapy as sitting in silence or being asked lots of intense questions. The sessions with me are actually very gentle. When you arrive, whether that's in person or online, just start with a simple check-in. I might ask, how have things been for you since we last spoke? Or what feels most important for you to talk about today? And from there we'll follow your lead. Some sessions are more conversational. Others may involve more guided work, deepening on what you need, with a reminder that there is never any pressure to go deeper than you feel ready for. You are always in control of the pace, and if at any point something feels too much, we slow it down.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

Always.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

Because sometimes the names can sound a bit intimidating. And these approaches are always offered, it's always an invite. You never have to take them up or do them. They're just there if it's something that your curiosity would like to explore. So let's make them feel a little bit more human. Hypnotherapy. This could possibly be the one that people feel the most unsure about. There's a common myth about hypnosis means losing control or being made to do something. Bit like you often see with the stage hypnotists, where they ask you to be a chicken, or they ask you to do something silly. But that isn't what happens in a hypnotherapy session at all. Hypnotherapy is actually a very natural state, similar to when you're deeply relaxed, or when you're really absorbed in a book or a film, or just drifting off before sleep. You're still aware you can hear everything, and you are always in control. What it does is to help your mind and body relax enough to access the deeper patterns that sit in the subconscious and begin to gently shift them. Working somatically, meaning just relating to the body. Because emotions aren't just in our thoughts, they live in our bodies too. You might notice a tightness in your chest, or a knot sometimes in your stomach, or maybe tension in your shoulders and neck. Somatic work can help you turn into these sensations and tune into them safely and gently. And instead of pushing them away, just gently allow the body to process and release what it's been holding in a way that feels right for you in that moment, maybe through breath work, maybe through movement, maybe through the imagination. Then there's EFT, emotional freedom technique. EFT involves gentle tapping on specific points on the body while focusing on a feeling or intense issue. It might sound unusual at first, but many find it incredibly calming. It works as well with the nervous system to reduce emotional intensity and create a safe sense of being. Then there's IEMT, which is integral eye movement therapy. You may have heard of EDMR, and it is similar, but it is different. This approach uses simple eye movements to help the brain process emotional experiences, and it can be especially helpful for strong emotional reactions, anxieties, memories that feel stuck. Allowing the brain to update how it responds without needing to go into lots of detail about the past. The most important thing to know is you don't need to understand all of these approaches before you begin. I'll always guide you and we'll only ever use what feels comfortable for you in the session. Another question people often have is what will it actually feel like? The answer is different for everyone. Sometimes clients may feel heavier after a session as they process and the mind and the body journey that process together. Some feel lighter and more understood, while others feel more connected to themselves or simply a sense of relief. Sometimes it can feel emotional, at other times it can feel calm. Sometimes it can even feel like nothing has changed in the moment, and things begin to shift afterwards. And it's only when a repeating pattern returns you notice that you're facing and dealing with it differently. All of that is part of the process. So let's just go through some of the most common questions people have before starting therapy and counselling. What if I don't know what to say? That's completely okay. You don't need to come prepared. We'll figure it out together. What if I get emotional? That's really welcome here. There's no need to hold things in. Will I be judged? No. This is a space where you are accepted just as you are. How many sessions will I need? Now that always depends on you. Some people come for a few sessions, others stay longer and always go at your pace. Do I have to talk about my past? Only if you want to. I'm always going to focus and invite you to feel what is relevant and feel supportive for you. You may have other questions, and that's okay. You can always reach out to ask. The most important thing is the understanding. Therapy, counseling, the therapeutic relationship is individual and unique to each client and person who walks through my therapy door. I offer a space, a place to be able to share what you may have never shared before. A space where that will sit to be worked through and processed if that's what you need. Maybe it's just a place for you to speak it out loud for the first time. Each session looks different. Each relationship therapeutically is different. You may have friends or relatives or colleagues who have therapy or counseling and share their experience. Yours may be similar or it may be uniquely different, and that's okay. So before we finish today, I'd just like to offer you a short moment to pause. Nothing complicated. Just a chance to reconnect with yourself. And if you're able to, just allow your body to settle. Maybe soften your shoulders slightly. Just gently bring your attention to your breath. There's no need to change it. Just notice the rise and fall. And if your mind starts to wander, that's okay too. Just gently bring it back to the focus on the breath. You may begin to notice where your body feels supported, where there might be tension. Where there's a sense of ease. And for a moment, just allow yourself to be exactly as you are.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

No fixing. No changing. Just being.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

And when you're ready, take a slightly deeper breath in. Slowly exhale. Reorientate into the space that you're in, grounding into the present moment. And if something in today's episode resonated with you, just know that support is available. You don't have to figure everything out on your own. If you're curious about starting therapy or simply want to explore whether it feels right for you, you're very welcome to reach out. You can find more information or book a free 15 minute consultation on my website www.mindfulmomentstherapies.co.uk. Take care of yourself and I'll speak to you again soon.