Friendships 101

In this episode, friendships are explained. Sit back and enjoy. 

We do not own rights to the music. 

Transcript

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Hey everyone, welcome back to the Treasured Podcast for Teens. I'm your host, Vera Haig, and your favorite apostolic teen who's here to talk about life, faith, and all the awkward stuff in between. Today's episode is all about friends. The good ones, the weird ones, the ones who ghost you, and the ones who stick around through every season. We're diving into what real friendship looks like, how to find godly friends, and how to be one yourself. So grab your snack, get comfy, and let's talk about the people who make life a little louder, a little funnier, and sometimes a little too complicated. Alright. Part one. Why do good friends matter? Okay, let's be real. Friends can make or it can break your vibe. The right ones will hype you up, pray for you, and tell you when you've got spinach in your teeth. The wrong ones will hype you up to do dumb stuff like text your crush at 2 a.m. or skip youth service because it's just one night. Proverbs 27 17 says, Iron sharpeneth iron, so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. Translation Good friends make you better, not bitter. Part 2 Different Types of Friends. Let's talk about the different kinds of friends we all have, because not all friendships look the same. There's childhood friends. These are the ones who knew you when you had bad hair days and questionable fashion choices. You might not talk every day, but when you do, it's like no time has passed. They've seen your awkward phases and still stuck around. That's loyalty. Number two, church friends. These are the best kind. You worship together, laugh together, and sometimes cry together at the altar call. They're the ones who text you after service like that message hit hard. Church friends are the ones who remind you that living for God is actually the coolest thing ever. Number three, school friends. These are the ones who help you survive group projects and cafeteria food. Some are great. Some are just we sit next to each other and math friends. And that's okay. Not every friend has to be your best friend. Number four, online friends. Okay, let's be honest. You all probably have at least one online friend you've never met in person, but talk to like every day. Just be careful, make sure your online friendships are safe, godly, and real. If they're encouraging you in your walk with God, that is so awesome. But if they're pulling you into gossip or negativity, maybe take a step back. Part three The qualities of a good friend. A good friend is loyal, honest, funny, and loves Jesus. Loyalty. The description of loyalty in my book is a that a loyal friend doesn't ditch you when someone cooler walks in. They're there when life gets messy, like when you ugly cry, or when your Wi-Fi cuts out mid-facetime. Honesty. A real friend will tell you the truth, even when it's awkward. Like, girl, outfit is not it. Or bro, she's not texting me back because she's just not interested. Brutal honesty, but with love. Joy. If you can't laugh with your friends until your stomach hurts, are you even friends? The best ones can turn a boring car ride into a comedy show. Faith. This one's huge. You want friends who will pray with you, not pressure you. Friends who will worship next to you, not whisper during altar call. Support. Real friends celebrate your wins. They don't get jealous. If you get a soul on the praise team or win a Bible quest trophy, they're cheering, not side-eyeing. Part 4 Red Flags The Nope list. Not everyone who calls you bestie is actually bestie material. Got the gossip king, queen, if they talk about everyone else to you, they're probably talking about you to everyone else. The drama magnet. If every week there's a new crisis and somehow it's never their fault, run. The one upper. You say, I got an A on my test, and they say, Oh, I got an A plus every single time. The disappearing act. They're your best friend into someone better, quote unquote, shows up. Then suddenly you're invisible. The Bad Influence Buddy. If you start acting less like Jesus and more like a TikTok trend gone wrong, hmm, that's a sign. Part 5. Friend breakups and betrayal. Oof, this one hurts. Losing a friend can feel worse than a breakup. You shared secrets, memories, and inside jokes, and now it's just silence. I had a friend once who suddenly stopped talking to me. No explanation, no fight, just distance. I kept wondering what I did wrong, but later I realized God was protecting me. Sometimes He removes people not because they're bad, but because they're not meant to go where He's taking you. Psalms 34 18 says, Glory is nigh to them that are of a broken heart. That includes friendship breakup. Friendship heartbreaks. If you've ever been betrayed, forgive them. Not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace. Part six. Clicks in peer pressure. Let's talk about cliques. You know, those groups that act like they're the E Lite squad of youth group. Clicks can make people feel left out, and that's not how the body of Christ should work. Romans 12 10 says, be kindly affectionate one to another with brotherly love, in honor preferring one another. If you're in a click, open the circle, invite someone new to sit with you, you never know how much that small act can mean to someone. And about peer pressure, it's real. Whether it's pressure to gossip, skip church, or compromise your standards, remember, standing alone with God is better than standing with a crowd without him. Social media and friendships. Social media can make friendships tricky. You see your friends hanging out without you and suddenly you're spiraling. Did I do something wrong? Why wasn't I invited? But remember, what you see online isn't the full story. People post highlights, not real life. Also, be careful what you post, don't subtweet your friends or post vague stories like some people really changed. That's not cute, it's messy. Ephesians 4 29 says, Let no corrupt commun communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of the edifying. That includes what you post. Part A Making Friendships when you're shy. If you're shy, making friends can feel like a climbing a mountain. Uh I'm kind of shy, but I've kind of burst out of that more. If you knew me, you would think that I was not shy, but trust me, I am. I do have a level of shyness. Alright, but back on track. Here's the secret. Most people are just as nervous as you are. Start small, smile, ask questions, compliment someone's shoes, sit next to someone new at youth conference. Proverbs 1824 says, A man that hath friends must show himself friendly. You don't have to be loud, just be kind. Part 9. Dealing with toxic friendships. If a friendship constantly leaves you feeling anxious, drained, or guilty, it might be toxic. Toxic friends manipulate, guilt trip, or make you feel small. That's not love. Set boundaries. You can forgive someone and still protect your peace. Jesus loved any everyone, but he didn't let everyone into his inner circle. Now that right there can preach. Heart 10. Supporting friends through hard times. When your friend's going through something, family issues, heartbreak, or spiritual struggles struggles, be there. You don't have to fix it. Just listen, pray with them. Send a verse. Galatians 6 2 says, Bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. Sometimes the best thing you can say is I'm here. Part eleven. Boundaries and friendships. Boundaries aren't mean. They're healthy. It's okay to say no. It's okay to take space. If a friend gets mad because you're spending time with your family or focusing on God, that's not a healthy relationship. It's not healthy. Even Jesus Jesus took away time from the crowds to pray. Boundaries protect your peace and your purpose. Part 12. Acquaintances versus real friends. Not everyone you talk to is your friend. Some people are just acquaintances, and that's fine. Real friends are the one who shows up when it matters. They don't just comment slay on your post. They check on you when you're quiet. Proverbs 1824 again reminds us, there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Part 13. Funny friendship fails. Okay, let's lighten it up for a quick second. Friendship fails. We've all had them. Like when you wave at someone who wasn't waving at you, or when you accidentally send a screenshot of a conversation to the person you screenshot screenshot in. Or when your friend says, I'll be ready in five minutes, and you're still waiting forty-five minutes later, two hours later. Friendship isn't perfect. It's messy, funny, and full of oops moments. But that's what makes it real. As long as those oops moments aren't unholy. Alright, part 14, conversation starters if you're trying to make new friends, here are some easy openers. Hey, what's your favorite youth camp memory? Or what's your go-to worship song? Or if you could travel anywhere, where would you go? I would say Alaska. If what's the funniest thing that's ever happened at church? Hmm, I don't know. That's a good question. Simple questions can lead to real connections. Part 15. Resolving conflicts. When you and a friend argue, don't ghost them. Talk it out. Matthew 18, 15 says, If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone. Don't post about it. Don't tell everyone else. Go to them directly. Most problems can be solved with one honest conversation. Part 16. When you're the bad friend. Sometimes we're the problem. Maybe you've been distant, jealous, or careless with someone's feelings. Own it. Apologize. Grow. James 5.16 says confess your faults one to another and pray one for another. Being a good friend means being humble enough to admit when you've messed up. Part 17. Balancing multiple friend groups. It's okay to have different circles. Church friends, school friends, online friends. Just make sure you're the same person in all of them. Don't change your values to fit in. If your church friends wouldn't recognize you around your school friends, that's a red flag. Be consistent, be Christ-like everywhere. Alright, wrapping it up. Friendship isn't about popularity or matching outfits, it's about finding people who make you better, not bitter. Look for friends who love God, who make you laugh, who tell you the truth, and who stick around when life gets messy. And remember, you don't need a huge friend group. Jesus had 12 disciples and even one of them was sketchy. Quality over quantity. Always. Alright, thanks for hanging out with me on the Treasure Podcast for Teens. If this episode made you laugh, think, or maybe even cry a little, share it with your bestie or that one friend who always steals your hoodie. Remember, you are loved, chosen, seen, and you can't get a good thing.