"Life" by Holli Harms

From TRUTH BE TOLD's June 10th, 2025 show ("First Love/First Lust") Holli Harms' "Life" is a story about the giving of a young woman's virginity and how the memory of that magical day comes back years later at her father's wake.

Holli is a writer of plays, screenplays, short stories and is a writing instructor with Writopia Lab, and a reviewer for Front Row Center. As a playwright Holli has been awarded the Terrence G. Hall Fellowship, a Dramatist Guild Fellow, and an EST/Sloan Grant. Her play “Make John Patrick Shanley Go Home” is published in Smith & Krause’s “Anthology Of 50 Best Ten Minute Plays”. Her short story “Cereal and Fire” is published online with Penmen Review. 

TRUTH BE TOLD was created by Susan Kim and David Zellnik and each episode was produced and scored by Eric Svejcar. Logo designed by Joseph Zellnik.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hello and welcome to Truth Be Told Season 1, Love and Monsters. Each of these 14 episodes will feature one story performed at Ensemble Studio Theater in New York City as part of the live event Truth Be Told. This story night was created by Susan Kim and David Zelnick and features members of EST and friends who tell heartbreaking, embarrassing, hilarious, true stories based on a theme. This seven-week season draws from our first two sold-out nights, one called First Love, First Lust, and the other, Scary Monsters. Please note, our first night was not captured live, so this season's love stories were recorded and scored in a studio. And now, without further ado, a story about the giving of a young woman's virginity and how the memory of that magical day comes back years later at her father's wake. Written and performed by Holly Harms.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Benjamin Miles Mackenzie. I have one picture of us together. One. It is his high school senior prom. We're at my house, standing in the large doorframe of the formal sitting room. I'm in a long, flowing pink ball gown. He's in a tuxedo, his skinny arm around me. I hold his arm and I smile. My father takes the picture. I am 16. Ben is 17. He's my next door neighbor. If I had to guess how many steps there were from my front door to his, I would say 57. Benjamin Miles Mackenzie. He was the boy I lost my virginity to. He was my first love. When friends would talk about how horrible their first time was, using words like disappointing, sad, depressing, unremarkable, I would reflect on how lucky I was. My first time was magical, romantic. Candles all around the room. Bread, his favorite band on the record player. Baby Ima want you. Baby I'ma need you. You're the only one. Ben was chivalrous, respectful, adorable. He made me feel loved, safe. Benjamin Miles Mackenzie. He set the bar high. It is decades later now, and it is my father's viewing. Don't worry, you'll catch up. My father, Roy C. Harms, was the deputy administrator for the consumer affairs for the state of South Carolina. He was a retired Army, important member of the Rotary Club, and a good neighbor and friend. We've been receiving food condolences since his obituary was published in the Columbia newspaper. Hams, pulled porks, fried chickens, three bean casseroles, all homemade, all personally delivered. At the Dunbar Funeral Home, they had him in a very small room. Preparing for his viewing, I told my mother and my husband, we're gonna need a bigger room. They agreed. The head of Dunbar Funeral Home, Mr. Dunbar, told us to look around, check out the other rooms, and don't worry about the occupants, he said. They'll be leaving in the next few days. Occupants? My mother and I go in one direction, my husband in the other. Sure enough, there are open caskets in all the rooms. My mother enters each room and looks around, then checks out the occupant in the casket, announcing to me, standing in the doorway, that they look good, or saying, Why would their family let them be buried in such a colour? Oh this colour. And then she would check to see if anyone had shoes on, which meant she had to really get into the casket. She calls out to me, Holly, come and look. Uh no, ma'am. Holly, come here and look. No, thank you. Come here. Fine. The occupant is in her eighties, a very nice low-cut pale blue dress with earrings and lovely red lipstick. My mother informs me she's not wearing any shoes.

unknown 4:00

Well, there you go.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

Then she points to the low-cut neckline. You see this? See how this is? See this low-cut dress? Her old lady neck showing like that? Don't you do that to me. I want a turtleneck. You understand? Turtleneck. Turtle neck. Yes, ma'am. Turtleneck. Other than that, doesn't she look good? Spectacular. Well, Holly, this is the room. It is the perfect size. As we head out to let Mr. Dunbar know which room we have chosen, I see my husband signing one of the occupants' condolence books. What are you doing? I'm signing the book. You don't know that person? No, but it'll be nice to have a little extra someone sign the book. What did you write? I will miss Daisy and her wonderful stories, best David W. I look around at all the rooms with the condolence books by the entrances. Did you sign all the books? Yeah? You signed them David W? Oh, don't worry, Hal. People don't share what's in their condolence books. Yeah, I guess. Two days later, the viewing. People are there. Old neighbors, new neighbors, people my dad worked with, past interns of his. The place is packed. Flowers everywhere. From individuals, from his work from Fort Jackson Army Base, the Rotary Club. Huge oversized monstrosities. At some point, my sisters and I form a line for the viewing. Heidi first, then Heli, then me. And after me, Daddy's casket, with my father inside looking quite regal in his military dress uniform. Mama doesn't want to be in the line, so she mingles. We greet the guests. Heidi starts with the thank you for coming, I'm Heidi, Roy's oldest. Heli follows suit, thank you, I'm Heli the middle, and I finish, thank you, I'm Holly the youngest. And that is how it goes. Thank you, oldest middle, youngest. At some point we take a little break, and when we return to our places, I look down at the crowd, and that is when I see them. Mr. and Mrs. McKenzie. Ben's parents. And in that moment, I decide that I'm going to tell them all about their wonderful son. I say to my sisters, Oh my gosh, y'all, Ben's parents are here. Mr. and Mrs. McKenzie. I'm going to tell them that I lost my virginity to their son. He was so gentle and wonderful, and that they should be proud, very proud. My sisters turn in unison to me. Their faces have the exact same what the fuck look, which I realize is my what the fuck look. I mean, sisters. They say in unison, no, no, you're not. My brother-in-law, Bill, Heidi's husband, is nearby and hears the whole thing, and he whips me around and says, Holly, I would not want to go to my neighbor's viewing and have his daughter tell me that my son is the boy she lost her virginity to, and he was wonderful. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is not the time nor the place. Actually, actually, there was never a time nor a place for that kind of disclosure. My sisters are mumbling, oh my God, how her mind works, oh my God. And then I see my mother.

unknown 6:57

Ha ha ha.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Now my mother knows I lost my virginity to Ben. I told her my twenties, and I told her how great he was. Mama, Ben's parents are here, see? Oh my goodness, yes, they are. Mama, I'm thinking that I want to tell them that I lost my virginity to Ben and to let them know how wonderful he was, that he was a gentleman. My mother pauses. She's considering. Holly, I don't think that this is the appropriate time or place. But some other time and place might be so nice to let them know, so very nice. This apple doesn't fall far from that tree. I get back to my spot on the viewing line and start to greet new guests. Oldest, middle, youngest, oldest, middle, youngest. Both my sisters intermittently giving me sideways looks of perplexed concern. And now the Mackenzies. Heidi is greeting the Mackenzie, and because we know them so well, she has dropped the oldest part of the greeting. Hellie the same. And now it's my turn. I take Mrs. Mackenzie's hand first, take it in both my hands, and I look deep into her eyes, and I thank her for coming. And I tell her how nice it is to see her. And I tell her to please say hello to Ben for me. The same for Mr. McKenzie, looking deep into their eyes. In my head, with both of them, I am saying, I lost my virginity to Ben, and he was a gentleman. Be proud. As they move away, I realize my greeting was a tad severe, as there is a kind of fear on their faces, and they are clearly making a getaway. Benjamin Miles Mackenzie. Both of his parents are gone now, as are mine. Now we are the parents. Every year we contact each other to wish the other happy birthday, catch up with all that's going on with us and our families. Yeah, life goes on.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Holly is a writer of plays, screenplays, and short stories. She lives in the West Village with her husband, daughter, and dog, Arlo Guthrie Marshmallow. She is a right-hander who does her art drawings with her left hand. She does not understand the banana. Truth Be Told was created by Susan Kim and David Zelnick, and each episode was produced and scored by Eric Svekar. If you enjoyed this, please tell your friends and keep listening. More stories of love and lust will be released every Monday and scary monsters every Thursday. And do hit like and subscribe, it really helps. Till next time, remember Truth wants to be known. Yours too.