"The Monster and the Choice" by Christine Farrell

From TRUTH BE TOLD's September 25th, 2025 show ("Scary Monsters!") Christine Farrell's "The Monster and the Choice"  tells tha story about a Pirate Dream that haunted a child's love of her sister...

Christine is a versatile New York theater veteran, playwright, and dedicated educator. Her performance background ranges from classical stage roles inUncle Vanya to iconic television appearances on Law & Order. She actively shapes the future of contemporary performance as a faculty member at Sarah Lawrence College.

TRUTH BE TOLD was created by Susan Kim and David Zellnik and each episode was produced and scored by Eric Svejcar. Logo designed by Joseph Zellnik.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hello and welcome back to Truth Be Told Season 1: Love and Monsters. Each of these 14 episodes features one story performed at Ensemble Studio Theater in New York City as part of the live event Truth Be Told. This story night was created by Susan Kim and David Zelnick and features members of EST and friends who tell heartbreaking, embarrassing, hilarious, true stories all based on the theme. This seven-week season draws from our first two sold-out evenings, First Love, First Lust, and Scary Monsters. And now, without further ado, a story about a pirate dream that haunted a child's love of her sister, written and performed by Christine Farrell.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

I have an older sister, and I adored her. And when I was little, I followed her like a puppy, attaching myself to her legs, jumping in her lap, wanting always her attention. And so, to get some freedom, she began to torture me. It started simply. I gave her all my birthday money to purchase her magic safety pin. You can play in the yard alone, you can walk up and down the street, you don't have to be afraid of the older neighborhood hooligans. I didn't like the sound of hooligans. I got my money back when they found me one morning on a stranger's porch playing with a guard dog. There was an apartment building next door, and so our block was like flush with kids. My sister was a very dominant figure in the neighborhood. She was the super duper president of the Lafayette Avenue Girls Club. And even boys were in the Lafayette Avenue Girls Club because it was called that because my sister was the founder and it took place in our yard. My best friend Lillian and I were the only kids not allowed in the club. Because Lillian was from Norway and she didn't speak English yet, and we had our own language and we were inseparable. And my sister said, You and Lillian are just weird. Out. Everyone in her club had a title. You are the super duper president, the everyday president, and titles like Twizzler was the person who kept the candy money, and bicycle boy was the guy who could use anyone's bicycle if my sister sent him out for an errand. My mother intervened because I begged to get into this club. So she let me. We were given the title of rain checkers. We were to walk up and down the block and wait for it to rain. And when it rained, we were to go directly to the clubhouse door, tell them it was raining so they could all go home. My sister had invented a game that the neighborhood loved. It was, she only allowed us to play on Saturdays. It was called Mama and Papa. And my sister was Mama. She would line us all up in the morning and they would give us a new name and an age. All the girls wanted to be Debbie and be 16. All the boys wanted to be Chuck. And if you weren't in her good graces, she'd make you Gladys and you'd be 45. All right? Lillian and I were always the babies. We had to stay in a corner of the yard and speak in monosyllables for the entire day. And that was around this time that the dream began. My sister and I shared a room, and there were single beds on either wall and a window in between. And in my dream, I would see this pirate striding across the yard with a band of ragged, toothless men behind him. And he would climb onto the shingles of our Clappard house. He would open the window. He was a very striking figure. He had dark black hair jutting out of this red bandana. He had a billowing white sleeves, had large gold earring and a sash that held a dagger, and in his hand was a dirk like a smaller curled knife. And he had demon eyes. And he would climb into the room. And he would look at my sister. And then he would look at me. And he would say, which one of you will be taking me back to the ship? And then my turmoil would begin. Should I scream and wake her up? Do I just run away and let him take her? If he takes her, will she maybe never come back? And I would always wake up before I made any decision. And as the months went by, he became more insistent. My ship is waiting. Shall I take your sister? Or you just want to run away. Let me have her, right? And again, I would always wake up before I made the choice. And I told no one. I was just mortified that I could not get myself to sacrifice for my sister. And my mother would never understand. She always says, Your family's first. And my sister would never forgive me, forget the girls' club. And I armed myself at night. I told no one. I stole my father's antique shilleleg, his nail gun. I had these large sticks that I found in the woods and I put them under my bed. I always let the door open. I was exhausted. And what was horrifying was that I always woke up before I made any decisions. Sometimes I would just like get to the door, but I could never actually have the guts to leave without my sister. I was the youngest sibling, and we always wrestled. And when we wrestled, I always lost. But I remember so clearly the day that I flipped my sister over for the first time, and I was pinning her down, realizing I was stronger than her. It was like the closest they ever came to murder. And after that, the pirate monster, it was suddenly gone. And I recall he he he came back one more time. And only this time, he and all his men came into the house, and my parents, my siblings, we were all in a utility room, and he broke the window, put his billowing white sleeve in and his jewelry, and he looked straight at me and he said, Chris, which one of you shall I feed to the fishes? And then I spent that whole dream. Should I tell my mother, oh not my mother. How about my father? He could fight back. I went through everybody, and then I woke up. Now, as I got older, I began to see how strangely erotic my pirate was. You know, he was really quite handsome. And perhaps this no decision was because I was interested in going on his adventure. But I was terribly disappointed with myself for a long time. Because I always thought that I would sacrifice myself for my sister and for my family, but I never got to do it. My monster pirate haunted me for what I considered my acts of moral turpitude. I still adore my sister, and I torture her by calling her every single day. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

Christine Farrell is a versatile New York theater veteran, playwright, and dedicated educator. Her performance background ranges from classical stage roles in Uncle Mania to iconic television appearances on Law and Order. She actively shapes the future of contemporary performance as a faculty member at Sarah Lawrence College. Truth Be Told was created by Susan Kim and David Zonlick, and each episode was produced and scored by Eric Svagar. If you enjoyed this, please tell your friends and keep listening. More stories of love and lust will be released every Monday, and Scary Monsters every Thursday. And do hit like and subscribe, it really helps. Till next time, remember, truth wants to be known. Yours too.