Where Are You Moving Next? Explaining The Match Process To Family & Friends

If you have to explain the phrase "No, I don't know where I'm living in six months, and yes, a computer chooses for me" one more time, you might lose your mind.

We get it. The Match is stressful enough without having to give a 20-minute lecture on medical education logistics every time you see a family member. 

In today's episode, we're doing the explaining for you. We are here to help your friends and family understand how residency Match works. From explaining why a rejection isn't personal to helping them understand why Match Day is such a massive milestone, we've got you covered. Drop this episode in the family group chat or save it to send the next time someone asks that dreaded question. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey guys, welcome back to The Life of a Doctor's Wife. I am so glad you're here. Today's episode is for anyone who has ever been asked the dreaded question: So, where are you moving next? And if you're married to someone in medicine, you probably know exactly what I mean because during medical school, especially towards the end, everyone starts asking, are you staying here? Are you moving back home? Where are you going after graduation? When will you know? Can't you just apply somewhere? And while those questions come from a place of excitement and love, the answer is actually a lot more complicated. The match process is something that is honestly hard to explain if you aren't in medicine. It's not like a normal job search where you apply, interview, get an offer, and decide where you want to live or even have a chance to negotiate. Residency Match is basically this entire process that takes years of preparation, applications, interviews, then ranking, and then one very intense day where you find out where you're moving. So today's episode is basically your send this to your family and friends episode. If you have been tired of explaining what match is, send them this. So what happens before the match? Before we can even talk about match day, we have to talk about what happens during medical school. Medical students spend their first two years, mostly in the classroom, learning things like anatomy, physiology, diseases, medications, and pretty much how the body works. Then they will enter into their clinical years. This is where they start rotating through different specialties, many times third-year rotations. They will go through internal medicine, surgery, pediatrics, obiGyne, emergency medicine, psychiatry, family medicine, and many others. These rotations help them to figure out what type of doctor do I want to become. Because someone might start medical school thinking they want one specialty and completely change their mind after experiencing the real thing. I do want to note that doctors, once they match into a specialty, that is the specialty that they will have for the rest of their career. So fourth year of medical school, you will start to complete your audition rotations. And this is one big part of the residency application process. Think of this like a month-long interview. A medical student may travel to a hospital or a program they're interested in and actually work there. Yes, they're currently paying tuition at their medical school while working at other hospitals around the country. But they're not just shadowing. They are part of the team. They're taking care of patients, presenting cases, and working with residents and being evaluated. The program is asking, would we want this person as a resident? And then the student is asking, could I see myself living here and training here for the next three to seven years? These rotations usually happen in the months before applications are submitted. So now applying for residencies, after medical students decide what specialty they want, they will apply to residency programs. Many students will apply to only one specialty, but you are allowed to apply to multiple specialties. Each application does cost money to apply, so also keep that in mind. Now, this is all done through a centralized application system. I know that some of the specialties have broken off a little bit, but for family's sake and those who may not be as knowledgeable in the match process, just know that the application process is not like a LinkedIn job post or on their hospital website. The students will submit things like their application, personal statement, letters of recommendations, their med school transcript, their board exams. So most students have sat for two rounds of board exams by the time that they're submitting their applications for residency. So both of those scores will go in there, any research that they've completed, volunteer work, and overall experiences. Once all that is submitted, the residency programs will review hundreds of thousands of applications, pretty much like normal job applications in the sense of like you submit your resume and maybe like a little cover letter or something. So after all of the applications are submitted, the waiting begins. Programs will start to invite applicants for interviews. This can mean a medical student may interview at 10, 20, or sometimes even more programs. And remember, these programs can be anywhere. Different states, different cities, and different parts of the country. So during this season, couples are often saying, We have no idea where we're moving, because truly they don't know yet. So after interviews, the students can create a rank list. This is basically if I could choose anywhere, where would I want to go? They rank the programs from their favorite to their least favorite. So as the students are ranking their programs, the programs are also doing the exact same thing. And they are now ranking their applicants. And then a computer algorithm matches everyone together. And this is the part people outside of medicine usually find confusing. The student does not simply pick where they get to go. It's a combination of the students' preferences, the program's preferences, and then the algorithm. So match week. Match week is one of the most anticipated and emotional weeks in medical school. On Monday of match week, medical students receive an email at a specific time letting them know whether or not they matched. That's it. It does not tell them what specialty they matched into, it does not tell them where they are moving. It's simply the answer to one question. Did you match? For some students, that email brings a huge sigh of relief. They matched and can celebrate knowing that they have a residency position waiting for them. And for others, it means not matching. So what happens if someone doesn't match? I want to take a quick break to share something with you guys that I've generally been loving lately. If you've followed me for a while, you know I'm all about being comfortable, especially in this season of life. And honestly, comfort has become my go-to for that. I wear my comfort lounge sets for everything, like lounging at home, running out for a quick grocery trip, throwing something on when I don't want to think too hard about an outfit. It just works. And during pregnancy, when nothing feels comfortable and you just want to be in something soft and easy. This was one of the only things I consistently reached for. It's cozy without feeling sloppy, and I still feel a little put together, even on the most low energy days. Their sweatshirts are probably my favorite. I grab one constantly. It's one of those pieces you don't even have to think about. You just throw it on and you're good. Whether you're traveling, going for a walk, or lounging at home, it is truly my go-to. If you want to try it for yourself, I have a link for you guys in the show notes where you can shop all their apparel, accessories, and even blankets. I wouldn't share it if I didn't actually love it, and I know you will love it too. What many people don't know exists, it's called SOAP. SOAP stands for Supplemental Offer and Acceptance Program. If a student does not match into a residency program, they enter a process where they can apply for available residency positions. This happens very quickly. Students are scrambling to find open spots in any specialty and trying to secure a position. So throughout the week, students navigating SOAP will contact programs, resubmit applications, rewrite their personal statements, interview, and wait for potential offers. This is an incredibly stressful and emotional process that many people don't understand. Because honestly, many students will go into medical school wanting one specialty. It may be a very competitive specialty, and end up not matching on Monday. And then during the soap process, they end up having to pick a completely different specialty and be that kind of doctor for the rest of their career. So you find out on Monday if you matched or not, and let's say you have to soap, you basically have 72 hours, almost three days, to figure out what your game plan is and to rewrite your personal statement, get those applications, do the interviews, and find out where you are being placed. Because the big reveal on Friday of match week is called match day. This is when students finally learn where they matched, what specialty they matched into, and where their next chapter of life will take them. A student could have applied to multiple specialty programs. So let's say anesthesia, general surgery, and ENT. They won't find out what specialty they're actually matching into until Friday if they do match on Monday. If they don't match on Monday, then they know that they did not match into any of those three programs and they will have to scramble for any unfilled spots. Now, many schools do host a match day gathering where everyone comes together and opens their envelope at the exact same time, as others may be opening their email to find out where and what specialty. It's exciting, it's emotional, and honestly, it's terrifying. Because this decision determines where you live, where your family lives, your specialty for the rest of your career, and your next several years. For families, this often means packing up your entire life and starting over. So when you hear someone say match week, remember, it isn't just one day. It's a roller coaster of emotions, uncertainty, hope, and finally the moment where years of sacrifice become a new beginning. Every year, thousands of medical students go through the match. The majority of graduating medical students successfully match into residency. But it is still an incredibly competitive process. Match rates vary depending on specialty, application type, medical school, exam scores, number of applications, and experience. Some specialties are much more competitive than others. A specialty like dermatology, orthopedic surgery, plastic surgery can have significantly fewer spots compared to the number of applicants, while other specialties may have more available positions. Now, this information was found on the NRMP website. The position fill rate for the 2026 main residency match was 93.5%. The total unfilled spots, so again, these are jobs that went unfilled during the match process was 2,971. The overall fill rate, matching and soap process combined, was 99.3%. So just keep in mind, even after match day, and all of the medical students that have applied to this process and have gone through the soap process for the week, there is still a number of students that still do not match. They don't have a job. Just so you can gain a better understanding of how stressful this process can be, that in 2026 for the match, 48,050 active applications were submitted, while over 48,000 students vied for only 41,126 first-year residency positions. That is nearly 7,000 extra students vying for a job position in the match where there's not enough spots. But yet we still have 2,000 spots unfilled. I know that this is a shorter episode, but I really wanted to take the time to share this because I wish that there was something like this out there that I could easily send to family or friends when they didn't understand, when I felt so repetitive or felt like I couldn't give a good enough answer as to why I didn't know where we were headed next, or why I felt stressed, or why I felt overwhelmed, or what my husband was going through with audition rotations, applications, the stress leading up the two of us, my husband and I, sitting down and figuring out what are we ranking? What one are we putting first? What are we putting second? What's our third option? Because it's so much more than just the hospital and my husband's job. Yes, I want him to be happy. But when we sat down there, it was okay, would we be in this spot for three years for your residency program? And then are we gonna up and move? Are we gonna continue to raise our family here? Our oldest daughter, Mia, she will be going off to kindergarten. Do we want a good school system? Do we want to live in a different town and send our child to private school? These are all such serious conversations that sometimes I don't think other people understand the gravity of it. And yeah, it's nice to live in a hot spot for a few years and travel and pick up and move. But when you do have a family and you do have other factors that come into play, it is so important and honestly, physically and mentally draining process. So all that I ask is the next time you ask someone in medicine, where are you moving after graduation? And they say, We don't know yet. It's not because they're keeping a secret, it's because the system literally works that way. They have to go through this entire process. They don't have a choice. And for the spouses and families watching from the sidelines, it can be exciting, stressful, emotional, and overwhelming. Give them the space. Offer to deliver a meal to their door that week. Send a food delivery gift card. Don't expect to be hosted. Maybe even offer to take their kids for a few hours if they're trying to go through the process of soap. Support them, be there for them, but give them some space. The match affects the whole family, not just the medical student. That's a wrap on this week's episode. So if you have a family member or friend who has been confused about why you don't know where you're moving, send this to them. Hopefully, it helps explain the chaos behind one of the biggest transitions in medicine. And as always, I'd love to hear from you. What do you have questions about? What would you like others to know about this life? Feel free to reach out or message me. You can find me on social media at LifeofADR Wife. Until next time, take a breath, pour yourself a nice coffee, and be kind to yourself. I'll see you in the next one.