Ep 16 - Protect What the Storm Didn't Take: How to Stay Steady When Life Hits Hard

Storms can change everything in a matter of minutes.

Whether it's hail, a tornado, a financial setback, a health diagnosis, or another unexpected crisis, the damage doesn't stop when the storm passes. Often, the greatest battle begins in the days that follow.

In this episode of the Rhino Resilience Podcast, Chris "Rhino" Swenson shares practical guidance for navigating life's most difficult moments. You'll learn what you're likely to experience after a major setback, why your mind and body respond the way they do, what to watch out for, and how to protect the strength you've worked so hard to build.

In this episode, you'll discover:
• Why difficult events often create two kinds of damage.
• What to expect in the days following a crisis.
• How to operate when life feels chaotic.
• Why checking your internal gauges matters.
• How to protect your capacity and your comeback.
• Why the scoreboard doesn't determine how your story ends.

If you've recently experienced a storm—or you're walking through any difficult season—this episode is for you.

🎧 Subscribe for practical tools to build strength and resilience for rural life.

🌐 Learn more at RhinoResilience.com

If this episode encouraged you, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who may need it today.

You already know how to push through.

My job with Rhino Resilience is to help you protect that strength so you can keep living, leading, serving, and staying connected for the long haul.

Stay steady... we're in this together.

#RhinoResilience #RuralLife #MentalHealth #Resilience #StressManagement #FarmLife #RanchLife #PersonalGrowth #MentalStrength #RuralCommunities

Transcript

0:19

Well, welcome back to the Rhino Resilience Podcast. I'm your host, Chris "Rhino" Swenson. And if you're joining me today from somewhere that was recently hit by a storm, I first wanna say I'm sorry. You know, maybe you spent the last several hours walking your fields or checking your fences, you know, looking over livestock, inspecting your roof, cleaning up broken branches, calling your insurance company, or staring at a vehicle wondering where to even begin. You know, and maybe you're still waiting to just, to find out how much damage was really done. You know, it, it's amazing how a single afternoon can change so much. But even if you weren't affected by a storm, I want you to stay with me because this episode isn't really about hail or tornadoes. It's about those moments in life when everything changes faster than you ever expected. You know, that could be a storm, a financial setback, a health diagnosis, losing someone you love, an accident, or any event that just suddenly changes the scoreboard of your life. You know, those moments don't just leave damage around us. They create a whirlwind inside us. You know, your mind starts racing, your body stays on high alert. You know, you feel pressure to make decisions, solve problems, and somehow figure out the future before you even had time to process what just happened. And if that's where you are today, I want you to know something What you're experiencing doesn't mean that you're weak. It doesn't mean that you're falling apart. It means you've just walked through something significant and, and your mind and body are responding exactly as they were designed to respond to uncertainty and disruption. And in today's episode, I'm not gonna tell you simply to stay positive or be resilient. Instead, I wanna walk alongside you, like I have with so many people over the years, and help you understand what's probably happening inside you right now, what you can expect over the next several days, and what to watch out for before it catches you off guard, and most importantly, how to protect your strength so you're ready for what comes next. Because the storm may have changed the scoreboard, but man, the game isn't over. Let's get started. And before we jump into today's topic, it's time for our weekly oopsie-tootsie question, and today's question from a listener is: how do I keep my mind from spiraling after something unexpected happens? And I love that question because it gets right to the heart of what, um, so many people experience after life suddenly changes. You know, whether it's a storm or a medical diagnosis, like I was saying, losing a job, accident, or pretty much any event that catches us off guard, one of the hardest parts isn't always the event itself. It's what begins happening inside our own minds afterward. You know, over the years, one of the things I've learned as a therapist is that people often suffer twice. You know, first they suffer through the event itself, then they suffer because they don't understand what's happening inside them afterwards. They begin wondering, "Why can't I stop thinking about this?" and, "Why am I so exhausted? Why do I feel so overwhelmed? Am I losing it?" And that's one of the reasons I wanted to record today's episode. You know, I can't undo what happened, but I... You know? And I can't manage, you know, like, the damage to just disappear, but I can help you understand what you're likely to experience over the next several days, what to watch for, and how to operate in the middle of the chaos so that this difficult moment doesn't steal more from you than it already has. Because one of the greatest gifts that we can receive during difficult times isn't having all the answers. It's having a map. So let's start there. You know, one of the things I've noticed after spending more than 20 years walking alongside people through some of the hardest moments of their lives, is that no matter what the crisis was, people often experienced two kinds of damage. You know, the first was the damage caused by the event itself, right? That could be a storm, the hail, the tornado. It could be just a, you know, an unnoticed me- an, an unnoticed medical diagnosis. Could be an accident. Maybe it's a financial setback, or maybe you lost someone that you loved. You know, we don't get to choose those moments. They arrive without asking our permission, and they hurt. Sometimes they change our plans in a matter of minutes. But then I noticed something else. A second kind of damage often began quietly taking place. You know, not out in a field or on a roof or in the crop. It's inside the person. Their mind wouldn't slow down. You know, they replayed the event over and over, wondering if there was something they could have done differently. Their thoughts jumped from one problem to the next, trying to solve tomorrow before today was even finished. They imagined worst case scenarios. You know, they felt pressure to have all the answers immediately, and some became frustrated with themselves because they couldn't just move on. You know, others started believing that because today looked bad, the future had already been decided. And if that's where you are today, I want you to hear me clearly. There is nothing wrong with you. Your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do. When something significant happens, your brain immediately begins searching for certainty. It wants to understand what happened, predict what might happen next, and protect you from ever experiencing it again. That's just part of how God designed us to survive. The problem is, is that when life becomes uncertain, your brain often tries to solve every future problem all at once, and that's impossible So if your thoughts feel scattered or your emotions seem to swing back and forth, maybe you're more tired than you expected, having trouble concentrating, you know, your patience might feel shorter than normal, none of those things automatically mean you're falling apart. They often mean you've just been through something significant. Now, here's what I want, want to spend time talking about this, because the first damage may have been unavoidable, right? I mean, the storm happened. Whatever happened happened. But the second damage, that's where we have far more influence than most people realize. The storm has already done enough. Let's make sure we're good stewards of what it didn't take. Let's protect your mind, your judgment, your relationships, your health, your faith, and your capacity to keep moving forward. You know, over the next few minutes, I wanna help you understand what you can expect over the next several days and what to watch out for before it catches you off guard, and pretty much how to operate in a way that protects the strength that you've worked so hard to build, because your story isn't finished. The scoreboard may have changed, but the game isn't over You know, and n-now that we've kind of talked about what's probably happening inside you right now, let's look ahead a little bit. And one of the reasons why I wanted to record this episode is because uncertainty has a way of making everything feel bigger than it really is. When we don't know what's coming, our mind just fills in the blanks with fear. So let me share some of the things you may experience over the next several days, not because they're guaranteed, but because I've seen these patterns over and over again. First, don't be surprised if your mind keeps replaying what happened. Right? You might be laying in bed tonight thinking about the storm, wondering if there was anything you could have done differently, replaying the sounds or imagining everything that still needs to be repaired. Your brain is trying to make sense of an event it couldn't control. That's normal. Just don't confuse replaying the event with actually solving the problem. Those are two very different things. Tomorrow, don't be surprised if you wake up feeling more exhausted than you expected, even if you slept through the night. Your brain and body have been working overtime. Stress is expensive. You know, it consumes physical energy, mental energy, and emotional energy. Feeling tired doesn't necessarily mean you're getting worse. Sometimes it simply means you've been carrying more than you realize. Over the next few days, you may also notice a growing pressure just to solve everything immediately. Like I said, your brain loves certainty. It wants to fix every problem, answer every question, and plan every, every detail of the future. But life rarely works that way, especially after a storm or something significant that happened. You don't have to solve the next month today. You only need enough clarity to take the next wise step. You may also notice that your patience isn't quite what it normally is. Maybe you become shorter with the people you love. You know, those small inconveniences may suddenly feel much bigger than they really are, and that doesn't make you a bad person. It simply tells you that your internal capacity is being stretched. That's one of the gauges I want you to begin paying attention to. And finally, don't be surprised if your emotions seem to change from one hour to the next. One moment you may feel hopeful, then the next discouraged, then you're grateful, then frustrated. That's often part of processing a significant event. Healing is not a straight line. It's usually much messier than that. And here's why I wanted to prepare you for all of this. Because when we know what the road ahead is likely to look like, we're much less likely to panic when it arrives. Instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?" you can simply remind yourself, "Oh, Chris said, said this might happen," and that's exactly why we're having this conversation today, because understanding the terrain helps us navigate it wisely So what do you do when life suddenly just feels chaotic? You know, over the years, I've learned something that has helped me personally and has helped many of the people I've worked with. When everything around you becomes chaotic, your job is not to match the chaos. Your job is to become the calmest part of it. Now, that doesn't mean pretending everything is okay. It doesn't mean ignoring your emotions or acting like the damage doesn't matter. What it means is you refuse to let the chaos around you become chaos within you. And one of the biggest mistakes people make after a crisis is believing that they have to solve everything immediately. You don't. In fact, trying to solve everything at once usually just creates more confusion than clarity. Instead, slow yourself down. Not your work, but your mind. There's a difference. Your body may be busy for the next several days. I mean, I can imagine there might be phone calls, damage to assess, repairs to begin, decisions to be made, people to check on. That's all part of the recovery. But your mind doesn't have to run at the same speed as your circumstances. One of the greatest gifts that you can give yourself is the ability to pause. Take a slow breath, drink some water, maybe eat something good, get a few hours of sleep when you can, talk with someone that you trust, and pray. Those aren't signs that you're avoiding the problem. They're ways of protecting the operator. Because at the end of the day, someone still has to make wide decisions, lead the family, repair the fence, care for the livestock, fill out those insurance paperwork, and keep moving forward. That someone is you. So before you try to fix everything around you, make sure you're protecting the person who has to solve the problem The next thing I want you to do is something every farmer and rancher understands. Assess what's actually in front of you, not what you fear might happen, not every worst-case re- scenario, but reality. So walk the field, gather the facts, look at what was damaged, look at what wasn't. There's wisdom in seeing things as they are instead of as fear tells us they are. And then ask yourself one simple question: What's the next wise step? Not the next 20, the next one. I mean, maybe that's just calling the insurance company. Maybe it's checking on a neighbor. Maybe it's repairing a fence or sitting down with your spouse and making a plan. Maybe it's just simply getting some rest because you're too exhausted to make good decisions today. You know, one wise step often creates the clarity for the next one. That's how good recovery usually works. Not all at once. One decision, one conversation, one day, one step at a time. And when you do that, something remarkable begins to happen. Instead of feeling like life is controlling you, you begin responding to life with intention. Now, you may not be able to control the storm or what happened, but you can influence how you move through the days that follow, and that's where your strength begins to matter most You know, if you're going to protect the operator, then we need to know how the operator is actually doing. So think about it this way. After a storm, most people don't just walk outside and immediately start making repairs. They inspect. They check the roof. They look over the equipment. They walk the fields, check the fences, look at the livestock. In other words, they're gathering information before deciding what needs attention first. In other words, they check the gauges. Here's my question: When was the last time you checked your own inner gauges? Not to judge yourself, not to criticize yourself, simply to understand where you are, because good stewardship always begins with awareness. You can't take care of what you aren't paying attention to. So here are a few gauges I would encourage you to check over the next several days. How is your thinking? Are you seeing the situation clearly, or has fear started writing the story for you? How's your patience? Are you responding to people the way you want to, or is the stress beginning to spill over onto those closest to you? How's your body? Are you eating, sleeping, drinking enough water? Have you been running on caffeine and adrenaline for so long that you don't even recognize how depleted you are? How's your spirit? Have you taken time to pray, to pause, to remember that your identity of who you are isn't determined by what happened this week? And finally, how's your capacity? Now, this is not your toughness or your work ethic, your capacity. Do you still have enough margin to think clearly, to make wise decisions, to lead well, to care for the people who are depending on you? Those gauges matter because most people don't lose the comeback in one dramatic moment. It's usually not one catastrophic decision that takes them out, it's dozens of small unnoticed ones. They lose it one unnoticed gauge at a time. Fatigue goes unchecked, patience quietly disappears, sleep becomes optional. You know, the relationships become strained, judgment becomes clouded, and before long, the storm is causing damage it never had to cause. That's why checking your internal gauges isn't weakness, it's wisdom, it's stewardship. You're paying attention to the person who has to carry this load tomorrow, and next week, and next month, and into the future. Because protecting the operator isn't selfish, it's one of the most responsible things that you can do You know, I wanna leave you with a story that has stayed with me for years Several years ago, I helped coach, like, a local little league baseball team, and there was another coach on the team who cared deeply about those kids, but he wore every play on his sleeve. You know, if something went wrong, he became emotional and scattered. You know, you could see the frustration building because he wanted those kids to succeed. And at the end of the season, he came up to me and asked me a question I've never forgotten. And he said, "Chris, how do you stay so calm?" And I thought about it for a moment, and then I told him something that has shaped the way I look at life. I said, "You know, when a kid drops the ball at third base, I'm really not that concerned about the dropped ball." Now, don't get me wrong, I'd rather he caught it, but what, what concerned me far more was what was happening inside that young player's mind after the error. Because if he spent the rest of the inning replaying that one mistake, if he kept telling himself he let everyone down, if he lost his confidence, if all of his attention stayed on the ball he missed, which is the past, the chances are he'd miss the next one, too. The first error wasn't what worried me, the second one did, and I think life works a lot like that. You know, there's gonna be the storm or a diagnosis, financial setback, an accident. Those are real. Those are painful. Those are the first hit. But what happens next often determines much more of the story. Will the storm convince you that tomorrow has already been decided? Will it steal your sleep, your patience, your relationships, your ability to think clearly? Or will you protect the operator? Will you check your gauges, make the next wise decision? Will you take the next play? That's what protecting a comeback, comeback looks like. People often think a comeback begins when everything finally gets better, and I don't believe that. I think a comeback begins the moment you choose not to let today's pain make tomorrow's decision. It begins when you take one steady breath, when you ask for help, when you choose wisdom over panic, when you protect your capacity, when you refuse to let one bad inning convince you the game is over. All of those point that you're on the road to your comeback story. And you know, one of the analogies I often use is the scoreboard of life. And if you're behind, let's say in a baseball game, by one or two runs, and you come back and win, that's a pretty good comeback. But man, when you're down by 10 runs, when everyone thinks the game is over And somehow your team keeps showing up one inning at a time. Man, those are the stories they make movies about. And here's what I want you to remember: the scoreboard tells you where you are. It does not tell you how the story ends. As long as there's another inning to play, as long as there's another wise decision to make, as long as there's an opportunity to lead, to serve, to love, to trust God and keep moving forward, as long as you've got breath, you are still writing your story. So protect the comeback. Protect what the storm didn't take, because the game isn't over And as we wrap up today, I wanna leave you with one final thought. You know, storms have a way of changing the landscape around us, and sometimes they change the landscape within us too, but they don't get to decide who we become. You know, over the last several minutes, we've talked about what you're probably experiencing, what to expect over the next few days, and how to operate when life feels chaotic, why it's so important to check your internal gauges, and what it means to protect the comeback. And if there's one thing I hope you take away from today's episode, it's this: The storm has already done enough. Be a good steward of what it didn't take. Protect your mind. Protect your judgment, your relationships, your faith, your health, your capacity. And when tomorrow comes, don't worry about winning the whole season, just make the next wise play. Then make the next one after that. And before long, you'll look back and realize you weren't just surviving the storm, you were building the comeback. You already know how to push through. My job with Rhino Resilience is to help you protect that strength so you can keep living, leading, serving, and staying connected for the long haul. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today, and if you know someone who's been carrying a heavy load after a storm or after any unexpected setback, I really hope you share this episode with them because sometimes knowing what to expect and having a map for the road ahead can make all the difference. Until next time, stay steady. We're in this together