Tanner's Gambling Addiction, Big TVs, and Friendly Banter

We talk through our first run of podcast shirts and what we’re testing with a $5 supporter tier giveaway, because making an independent comedy podcast costs real money and we’re trying to grow it the smart way. Then we get into the big-screen obsession: measuring TVs with outstretched arms in Walmart, the chaos of delivery, and the dream of going even bigger. We also share what we want to do next with the show, including setting up video.

From there it turns into classic Two Guys No Script storytelling: turkey hunting and camping plans, the Florida trip where we accidentally became full-blown tourists, and the infamous “punctuationalist” moment where a menu misprint becomes a surprisingly intense debate. The money theme keeps coming back too, especially when we dive into gambling psychology, scratch-off beginnings, slot machine highs, and a brutal roulette story that includes ATM fees, bad advice, and the kind of regret that makes you swear off the casino forever.

We finish by pitching a ridiculous dream road trip: 50 states and 50 Buffalo Wild Wings, plus a heated Waffle House take and a breakdown of why Buc-ees feels like its own universe. If you like unscripted banter, friendship comedy, travel stories, and real talk about spending habits, you’ll be right at home. Subscribe, share this with a friend who’d argue about any of this, and leave a review so we can keep leveling up.

Transcript

Welcome And A Weirdly Great Mood

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Can or I can't read the script you're all. Derek, it's not scripted. Hey guys, welcome to the Two Guys No Script Podcast. Derek, I I'm so happy that I'm sitting across from you today. You are in such a good mood. You showed up to work this morning, you're like iumping around and just full of piss and vinegar. I knew today was gonna be a good day, and I thought great day for a podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Yep. I don't know. I woke up this morning before my alarm. Well, before my main alarm. I said a lot, but uh it was just a good day.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

Do you wake up before your alarm very often?

SPEAKER_01 0:45

No, I usually well the last few weeks I've been uh asleep until my last alarm. And yeah, today I woke up, felt felt like I had a lot of energy, had some breakfast. What'd you have? I was in a good mood. Had uh cornbread for breakfast.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

Cornbread.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Cornbread, broke it up, put milk and sugar on it. It's like cornbread and mush.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Well, that's why you're so energetic about the last day off.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Breakfast of a champion.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

How was your day otherwise?

SPEAKER_01 1:16

I'd say it was pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

It wasn't bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

You gotta leave work a few times.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

Yeah. It definitely made for an interesting work day, though.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Yeah, we were busy. We actually got all there on time, though.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Yeah, well, that was that's partly me. You know, I could have made this work later, but I wanted to get here and get this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Yeah, had to bring in your uh new TV.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Yeah. Well, yeah, I got a new TV. That that thing is sweet though. It is huge.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Yeah, but is it 85 inches?

SPEAKER_02 1:49

85 inches. I've always wanted an 85 inch TV. We'll talk about that a little bit later.

New Shirts And Supporter Giveaway Plan

SPEAKER_02 1:55

Before we get too far into this, uh last episode, which as we're recording this, we haven't, it's not out yet. We're a week ahead. We're gonna try to stay a week ahead. So sometimes we're gonna refer to the previous episode, but we're, you know, it's not out yet. Derek and I got our shirts. And they're not terrible. Maybe try to fine-tune them a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Yeah, they're they're okay. I mean, I haven't tried mine on. I don't know if you've tried yours on, like looked in a mirror with it on.

SPEAKER_02 2:26

No, I haven't. I could get naked for a bit long. I'm gonna get naked for.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Well, I'll report live of what the shirt looks like on Tanner.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

I'm gonna get naked.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

Holy shit, look at those hairy nipples.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

I know, they're really hairy, aren't they? Oh. It's not bad.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

They're they're the cheap shirt. Okay, so he's getting it on. Yeah, they look pretty good, though. Wait, turn back around again. Okay, it looked off-centered, but I think it is. I think it was just how your shirt worked.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

Well, I mean, I am the one that put it on, so it could be off-centered. So So we're gonna have a picture of these on our Facebook page, our Instagram page. I think that was the last episode we announced all that, right?

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Yep. Yeah, we let everyone know. Was it Facebook?

SPEAKER_02 3:17

Facebook on Instagram and TikTok. Instagram. Uh and you well, we're on YouTube, obviously. Um we'll put a picture up on Instagram and Facebook. Well, well, if we can on TikTok. So if you want to see what the shirts look like, go follow us there. Or gain it some track on old Facebook. Up to a hundred followers. That's pretty exciting.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Yeah? We didn't know if we'd even get that many views.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

So, yeah, we're gonna we talked about doing a certain tier donation to be entered in a drawing. And after we talked about it a little bit more, we're gonna do it for at least one month, give it a trial. So anyone that does the $5 supporter tier on our website will be entered in the drawing for the end of May. And then it's gonna take a couple weeks because we're not gonna order shirts ahead of time in case this doesn't go well.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

And these shirts took what, about a week and a half to go?

SPEAKER_02 4:24

A week and a half, two weeks. There it came ahead of schedule. So it was supposed to come next week as we're recording this, which today is the 22nd, and it came today. So or came yesterday. So they came ahead of schedule. So I can't guarantee how long it'll take to get them. Um and then from then on, as long as we can reach a certain number of uh uh supporters every month, we'll continue to do it. Obviously, this shirt costs money. The first one we're just gonna kind of throw it out there, see how it does, and you know, if a lot of people want it, you know, we could we could expand on this, you know.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

Yeah, and we don't want to do them as merch just because it would we'd have to have so many of every size and spend a bunch of money on it, and we're not making anything. It's costing us money to make these uh podcasts.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

Right. So, I mean, anyone that supports us, that'll just help with the cost. Obviously, cost in the shirt, but anything beyond that is just helping support the show and make it possible to create and get better at it. Obviously, we want to make uh have have guests come on, but it's gonna take a couple more microphones to do that. And I mean our microphones aren't super expensive, but at some point we'd like a little bit better quality.

SPEAKER_04 5:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

That's hard to say that after I just said I got an 85-inch PD. I ordered the 85-inch PD, I'm pretty sure before we started the podcast, so just putting that out there. Big businessman over here.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

Well, is there anything more we have to let our listeners know?

SPEAKER_02 6:08

Any updates? Just a continued thanks for the support. Um keep pumping up, keep sharing the last episode. Hopefully, we can get a lot of views and take our dream vacation.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

Yeah, it's it's hard to with us recording a week before, or like so what we're recording tonight will get released in a week from now.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

So, like last week's episode will release in the morning as we speak. So it's hard to remember what we talked about and keep everything straight.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

But we got a pretty good gist of it. I think I it's just mainly thanks for the continued support. Um, we got some followers on Spotify now. That's pretty cool. The Facebook page is doing well, better than expected initially. Um yeah, it's been it's been fun. Hopefully, we can keep doing this. Keep going forward. Anything more you need to add?

SPEAKER_01 7:09

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Where are we gonna start?

The 85 Inch TV Obsession

SPEAKER_01 7:13

Well, we already brought up your new TV.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

So Derek's got a clip of me as in a Walmart.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

Yeah, we're walking through Walmart.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

And I'm I'm holding my arms out. I'm trying to see if this TV will fit.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Was I trying to check it on a TV stand or yeah, so there was probably an 85-inch TV that he was dreaming about buying, and so he measured it. Well, he needed a new TV stand if he got a TV that big. Well, we didn't have a tape measure, so he'd hold his arms up and walk down the aisles, trying to keep them at the same distance, and it was too close to call. It was sometimes when he'd walk it over to the stand it would fit, sometimes it wouldn't.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

So he obviously wasn't holding his hands too steady, but you know, I probably would have had that TV back then if it would have worked out.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

If we would have had a tape measure, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

I we should have just you know taken one off the shelf at the spill and walked over and measured it, thinking back.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:19

That would be too much brain power for the time. I mean, uh that would have been pretty young at that point.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

Yeah, you're probably 18 or so if you're on your own. I just love free TV. Forever Tanner's been talking about wanting a bigger TV, and he's bought I don't know how many TVs. He says it's not that many, but he has two TVs sitting here right now that aren't being used because he's bought new TVs. He's given me a TV. So for uh 23-year-old male, I think he's bought a lot of TVs.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

I love TVs. There's just something about a big screen in front of my face.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

So, what's gonna be the first show you watch on your big TV? Your 85-inch.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

Probably shameless.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

Shameless.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Maybe old lady are gonna have to she's not she's all up in the air on the TV. I'm gonna have to watch like two lights first. And then after that, I don't know what to watch.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Probably Gold Rush.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Well, I'm so far behind on Gold Rush because of this TV. Like, I've been waiting for it. The payovers are gonna look massive on that thing. So, for context, I have a massive TV in my bedroom. I don't think you've seen it. I think it's an 80-inch in my bedroom. So, a little while before, my ex-girlfriend wouldn't allow me to get a bigger TV. So I've had these big TV dreams forever. I've slowly started getting bigger TVs. 85 is about the biggest you can order off of Amazon feasibly. 80-inch TV comes by like UPS or whatever. The 85, two Mexicans in a moving van showed up today to drop it off. Which that's a story in itself, but there was a hundred-inch TV on Amazon. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

What would shipping cost on something like that?

SPEAKER_02 10:17

I honestly don't know. Because I think it was like a $2,000 TV. I thought about I really did think about it. I'm like, you only live once, send it, right? But I'm like, well, I don't need a hundred-inch TV. What could you imagine a hundred? You guys can't see this.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

We could use it as our background.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

That'd be nice. 100 inch TV would be pretty sweet.

SPEAKER_02 10:44

I can't afford that. Maybe if we get to be like Joe Rogan on this podcast here. Yeah, I don't. So I had the 32-inch TV on the TV stand where we just put this new 85. I bet six or seven of them TVs would fit on that new TV screen.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

It looks like it. I mean, for sure, four would easily fit. We could probably do the math.

SPEAKER_02 11:12

Probably. I can't remember what size TV that is. I think that's a 65. That was big when I got it. You got my like 58, I think.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

Yeah, and that thing seems massive. Because I hung that up in my bedroom on a Walmount. So kind of like when you pull it out from the wall hangs over my bed, and that seems massive. I can't imagine having an 80-inch TV in my bedroom.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

She wanna be over here all the time.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

I just love TVs. If anyone ever wants to get me a birthday gift, give me a TV. Doesn't matter what size it is. If I had my way in life, I would have a TV in the bedroom, the living room, the bathroom, the kitchen, everywhere. TV in the bathroom. Yeah. So what do you do when you're on the toilet? You sit there in Doom Scroll. Imagine if you had a TV in there.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

I don't know. I'm not the biggest TV fan.

SPEAKER_02 12:19

I am. So to me, I could pop on Gold Rush while I'm sitting on the throne, watch an episode of Gold Rush on the toilet, come out, sit on the couch, get an even bigger TV, and watch another episode.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

Yeah, but if you had a TV in your bathroom, you would never leave the toilet. You'd sit down and just sit there forever and watch it.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

Yeah. That's true.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

You'd probably forget to wipe.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

No, I won't forget to wipe. I probably wouldn't even go to the bathroom. I'd probably just sit there and watch it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

We need to figure out something to do with that TV.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

When you decide that we want to make video.

Video Plans And Turkey Hunt Priorities

SPEAKER_01 12:55

Yeah. So our plan is. The TV we're referencing is just leaned up against the wall by where we record. Our thought was we could put like our logo on it or some kind of background, use it as like essentially the background for when we start recording. Which we are talking about doing video, we want to do that, but we just haven't really had time yet.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

Yeah, I think we just gotta switch everything around and then we can do it. Someone over here doesn't want to come off and get it ready. Because melting is more important.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

It is.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

Turkey hunting is more important.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

Melting is important.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

Turkey hunting is more important.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

They both come around once a year.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

Turkey hunting is like twice a year.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Fall doesn't count.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

Why?

SPEAKER_01 13:47

They aren't strutting then.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

I can't believe you're taking four days to go turkey hunting. I like hunting.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

I'm gonna go camping also. I'm gonna go camp up north and turkey hunt the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Why are you gonna go camping?

SPEAKER_01 14:01

Oh I don't have a cabin.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Are you gonna use the nice camper or the shitty pump or like your shitty one?

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Oh no, I'll probably just bring a tent or a hammock.

SPEAKER_02 14:12

Why a hammock?

SPEAKER_01 14:14

Because they're easier to set up than a tent. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Why?

SPEAKER_01 14:19

I don't know. It's easier to set up.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

I'm gonna wake up before sunlight, go turkey hunting. I won't go to bed till after sunset, because I'll be turkey hunting.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

What are you gonna do if you shoot a turkey on like Friday?

SPEAKER_01 14:32

I don't know, probably drive around camp up north. No. Why? Maybe.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

No, you won't.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

I'd probably come to work Monday.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

You think so?

SPEAKER_01 14:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

Sure.

unknown 14:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:47

Like working. You would ask me, you ask me like four times a day, can I go home?

SPEAKER_01 14:52

You always say no. So when I when I have a day off of work, I have to take advantage of it.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

Yeah, well, am I supposed to tell you at noon on a Wednesday that you can just go home for it?

SPEAKER_01 15:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

You're not gonna do anything at home anyways.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

You don't know that.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Really? I I guarantee you wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

Maybe make some cornbread or something. Maybe I'd bring you some cornbread to work.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

No, alright. Next time you ask me, I might consider it if you offer to bring me a banana pie again.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

That was good.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

Yeah, you're you should feel special. I didn't even make Remy a homemade pie for her birthday. And I made you what, three pies I brought to work.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

A committed relationship longer than Remy has with you.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

That is true.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

It's been like 18 years.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

That's true. She's gotten up. I'll tell her that. When we hit the 18-year mark, that's when she gets a pie made on her birthday.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Yeah, but what are you gonna do for me at that? Because that'll be like 36 years.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

They'll smoke you a brisket and make you a pie.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Really?

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:53

So you know I was thinking you're you're telling me earlier how she wants you, she wants to switch up a recording night. Is make this like a family outing night. You guys come over, she makes a dish, the other one makes a dish, and then you and I get to sit and feast and make a podcast. That's a good I bet you can go for that. I just thought of that earlier. You know, I can't lose you on Wednesday night.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

That's a good idea. Cause that would work perfect because she's done early, so she'd have time to do her own stuff, and she could come over.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

We could sit and sit and do our thing, and uh, they can do they can pet the cat.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

I'll mention it to her.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

Alright. Okay, I know you're not gonna mention it to her, so Remy, when you listen to this, let me know if you want to make this happen.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Then we could also do podcasts where we eat gradient and just have our mouths stuffed full or wouldn't that be something?

SPEAKER_02 16:56

No, our next not our next episode, but when we start doing two episodes a week, one's gonna be karaoke, because you really want that karaoke.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

No, Tanner's the one. No, Tanner loves karaoke, but he's always too bashful to say Don karaoke. So give us some uh fan mail if you want to hear Tanner sing some free bird or what's your favorite song? What song would you really sing? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Something from Katy Perry, probably.

SPEAKER_02 17:28

Caliphone girls. That's my favorite song.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

So give us some fan mail if you want to hear Tanner sing that whole song word for word. I don't remember you ever saying I want to do it. You want to sing it.

SPEAKER_02 17:45

You can't spin it on me. It's not how this goes.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

Maybe we'll do it like once a month. We each have to do one, like part of a song for karaoke, just for good laughs.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

Well, you know, maybe we could make a wheel out of it or something. Post it out there on the internet.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

Yeah, we could do that. Make like TikToks of us singing karaoke. That way, like we don't have the awful sounds on our podcast. People probably would stop listening.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

Yeah, you're pretty good at free bird.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

That's if I'm in a skidster.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

Well, why isn't that skidster to be good at Freebird?

SPEAKER_01 18:20

It's all about the environment, Tony.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

The environment?

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Yeah. I wouldn't get as hyped sitting in a dungeon basement sitting across from you as I would driving around in a Skidster, pushing up big metal piles of metal.

SPEAKER_02 18:34

That gets you hyped up.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

Really. Yeah. You get a feeling from that jump?

SPEAKER_01 18:39

Only copper.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

The running thing is at work, we all get a feeling from that jump.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

That's crap. And we can smell, we can smell brass.

SPEAKER_02 18:49

Yeah. But you couldn't you couldn't smell that thing this morning. That's how I got you really riled up this morning. First thing out of the gate, I'm telling Derrick how much work I did for him. You know, it's 7.30. He's finally at work. I've been there since 6.30, slaving away from you.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

You know, twirling the joysticks in circles.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

He's telling me I haven't done nothing. And then the first thing he does is he picks up two things and throws one of them in the wrong pile. And then he tried to tell me it wasn't him, but I watched him do it.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

It hooked onto the piece I threw.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

That's what anyone with a good excuse would say.

SPEAKER_03 19:26

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

Really?

SPEAKER_03 19:31

I'm not a fan.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

How's your husband you got?

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Oh, good. I got it super glued back together, yes, dude. So the handle broke, so I super glued it, and I'm gonna like put a piece of metal across the crack to hold it together like a gusset plate. So I have it super glued right now. I didn't want to put the gusset plate on until the super glue is set.

SPEAKER_02 19:56

When you when you pass away, I'm gonna bury you with a chainsaw. Better be all of them. No.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

Why?

SPEAKER_02 20:03

Do you think they make a casket big enough for you to get away?

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Well, they don't have to be in the casket.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

They just have to be in the hole.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

I want to bury you on my land so I can turn it into a cemetery.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

Isn't that generous?

SPEAKER_02 20:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

I'm gonna get the tax breaks. I d I need the tax breaks. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

I'm not a big landlord like you though. You're gonna buy mine.

Florida Trips And Being Called Stingy

SPEAKER_01 20:31

I hope so. We'll have 10 acres. Hope so.

SPEAKER_02 20:35

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna I'll charge you, I'm gonna go back to Florida. I'll take you with this time my treat.

SPEAKER_03 20:43

Well yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

Because you are stingy. I'm not stingy. I don't go by the nicest hotel.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

Why? Your hotel didn't even have a pool.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Yes, it did. It was just next door neighbor's hotel. Our pool is out of commission, so you gotta keep up to go to the next door neighbors. At least I didn't have to walk around a stand cancel to get in my hotel.

SPEAKER_02 21:11

Yeah, I mean a green and piano from the cell field.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Yeah. We went to Florida Complete different hotel. They're got the nicest. I think then you just look it up like the most expensive hotel in the town. And then books that you know they have this big fancy single castle on display and green piano with a live musician and I don't know everything nice, fancy that mine was under construction. You had to go next door to the hotel, next door to use the pool. It was at the very end of the beach, so the one side was like weeds.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

Well, I mean, but I won't give you you both the last minute. You could have done a little bit better.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

Yeah, but I bought. At 11 o'clock and we were leaving at noon the next day or something like that. Yeah, and you were late. You didn't leave until like five. No.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

I got here at like 12 30. Oh, it wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 22:14

It was like afternoon, late afternoon.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

I don't think so. I'll fact check you. I'll go back and look at my text after podcasts.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

You are so stingy. I mean, you rubbed two dimes together just to hear them squeak.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

I'm not that bad. I spend money on stuff I like.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

Like what?

SPEAKER_01 22:33

What? Uh-oh, their computer crash?

SPEAKER_02 22:35

No, I think we're still rolling.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

I spend I don't know. I like spending on hunting stuff.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

I am very good at convincing you to spend money, though.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

You are?

SPEAKER_02 22:47

For more reasons than that. Because we had one in mind. Now I'm thinking of another one. So what did I do the first time to you?

SPEAKER_01 22:56

Are you talking about in Florida?

SPEAKER_02 22:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

So,

Tourist Fits And 9 AM Pina Coladas

SPEAKER_01 23:00

well, first he convinced me to go to Florida. Spend all that money. But then we get down there, and our girlfriends decide they wanted to go shopping or something. So they left me and Tanner unattended in Florida, which is a mistake. And so we go into a gift shop because you know we followed them shopping, but kind of split off from them. They have these big sun hats that are like straw hats. Like, oh, I need one of these. This thing's sweet. So I bought it. Well, then we got to look in there's Hawaiian shirt. So we both had to buy Hawaiian shirts. Then we had to go find some nice shorts. Well, before you know it, we're dressed full-blown tourists. And then walking down the road, and we kind of ran out of spots we wanted to look. So there was a bar that was already open. And mind you, Tanda rarely drinks. I don't drink as much anymore, but I used to like drinking a lot more. But, anyways, there's this bar open. We're like, ah, let's go in there and get some uh pina colanas. Like, it's a nice warm Florida day. Well, it was on the sign on the sidewalk.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

It was like pina colanas or something.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

It's raining. It's like 9:30 in the morning. He and Dan, or Dan who hardly ever drinks, wearing full Hawaiian shirt, tourist everything. Get two pina coladas and we're sitting there sipping off. Well, here the women were looking for us. They walk by this bar and it's all open, like to the outside, had like garage doors that were off. Like, look it in, like, try to tell if it's off or not. They're like, what are you two doing? I guess we're just enjoying the vacation a little too much. You pull it off way better than I do. Don't call me cheap. I think I bought your pina colada.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

You know what? You probably did. As I was thinking about what I've made you spend money on, there is a Chinese piece

The Mini Excavator That Backfired

SPEAKER_02 25:15

of fine machinery sitting in your yard that I convinced you to buy half of first and then to buy the rest of my half. Probably.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Yep, that was uh actually I am very glad you did because I use it a lot. But I have the smallest excavator that they make. That I know of that they make. That Tanner convinced me what? It probably took you three, four weeks to convince me to buy it. We just needed this thing in the worst way. So we each bought half. Tanner ran it for maybe five hours and decided this was the dumbest thing he's ever bought. I had to buy him out of it. He gave me a pretty good deal on the second half.

SPEAKER_02 26:01

So I lost money on the deal. Okay, looking at the TikToks of this thing, I thought we needed it. And I thought it was gonna do a lot. But when I started digging a hole and I crawled it down in the hole and I couldn't get it back out again, I it wasn't for me.

SPEAKER_01 26:18

Once you learn how to run it, it's a lot better. You can maneuver it. Oh, last night I pulled a tractor tire out of the dirt. It was a tractor tire buried in dirt for a raised garden, hooked on it, and she pulled it right out.

SPEAKER_02 26:34

You still use that thing?

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Yeah, use it last night. Or two nights ago.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

We were gonna set the world on fire with that machine.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

So we'll probably post some videos of that also.

SPEAKER_02 26:44

We got some Tonk and Dirtworks.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

Otherwise, yeah, Tonk Dirtworks on TikTok has uh a few videos of it. That was our first attempt at being social media people, but you know, this is a complete side note, but you brought up a good point.

SPEAKER_02 27:01

We did this completely backwards. Most people are famous when they start a podcast. And we're two nobodies that starting a podcast. Yeah, trying to be famous. That's the problem there.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

So, yeah, if you guys want to help us get famous, just keep promoting us. We're doing this completely backwards.

SPEAKER_02 27:22

I mean, you could be famous for some things. I don't think I have anything to be famous for.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

Don't ask me why we think the world wants to listen to us talk for an hour every week, but some people like it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

I don't know why we even like listening to us talk for an hour, but somehow we pull it off.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

Not gonna lie, the second week's podcast, since I like we listened to it before we posted it. I didn't listen to it the next morning. It was like almost the night or till today, like yesterday, I listened to it.

SPEAKER_02 27:59

So I didn't even give ourselves a listen until I it took me a couple days to listen to that one too. I'm not gonna lie. The first one I listened to it in the first five minutes, it was actually now the second one, it's just like uh I don't want to listen to it right now. I tried.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

It's hard listening to yourself, also.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

It's weird. Really weird. It's just not it's not a normal thing. No, some people really like that though.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

Oh, it definitely helps having like the mics. I mean, these aren't quality mics, but like compared to listening to yourself on a phone recording, it's way better. Mile is better.

SPEAKER_03 28:44

We're gonna keep going. Well, we kind of have to.

SPEAKER_02 28:47

We've only been 28 minutes, so I think we need to talk about something. Something that involves money.

Why Gambling Feels So Good

SPEAKER_02 28:55

That it is once again like pulling teeth to get you to do. I love gambling. When you grab that machine and it goes cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching, I love that. Derek hates it.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

I I like the money I made, and I like keeping it in my pocket if I could. I do love when I win. When we go the casino when I win, I love it. I think the first two times I went to the casino, you made me. And I think both times I lost all the money I set aside to gamble.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

You know where my gambling addiction started? Remember that night we bought them scratch house? And we didn't know what we were doing. Yep. Ferith and I are sitting at my kitchen collar, scratching off the entire scratch house.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

It was crossword because it's mind you, the reason we bought them is because we were driving home and it was just Tanner's birthday, and our birthdays are like a month apart, and we're like, oh, we're 18 years old now. We can buy, we can gamble. So we bought, was it $10 in Scratch House, I think? Yeah, something like that.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

And we're scratching the entire card off. Not knowing what we're doing, and then it just like dawns on us that we're doing this wrong. And we ended up winning out of $10. It was like $100, almost $100, I think. I thought it was over $100. It might have been. It was like mind-blowing.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

Because yeah, we well, once we figured out what we were doing, then we tried to like look back at the cards to see like if we did win whatever. And we figured, I think it was like $20 or $30. So we're like, oh sweet, we doubled our money. Yeah, we bring it in. I thought it was like $116. It might have been something like that. You know, I can't.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

There's a video of it something.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

I have to. And then I think the next time I went over to Tanner's house, he had Scratch Off sitting on the table.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

I have not done as well on Scratch Off since. And I don't do very well this single. The last time you and I went, that was pretty good. It could have been better, but if I listened to Derek, it would have been a lot better. What was I up, like 700?

SPEAKER_01 31:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:19

What did I walk out like up 300?

SPEAKER_01 31:22

Something like that.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

Gave your girlfriend $100 to play with.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

Not that she wanted it.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

She was trying to make you take it out of the machine, you would refuse.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

Yeah, well, she wasn't having fun. She's being stingy herself. And I mean, I was just I was on Cloud 9. That was a good win. There's a video of me, and we're gonna post it as a reel. I'm sitting there telling Derek it's gonna hit or something like that. It's like a $400 win. Like, I was so pumped on that.

SPEAKER_01 31:53

I don't do that good at this scene.

SPEAKER_02 31:54

But we're gonna.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

You should see him play gambling games on his phone.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

Okay. That's slightly illegal in the United States, but that's okay. Them are really fun and they get me really stressed out.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

Remember that day I was dare will be on his phone. On our slow days in the winter, we don't have much going on, he'll be on his phone, all of a sudden he'll be dancing around, running in circles. Oh, I won, I won, I won. It's very cute.

SPEAKER_02 32:24

And then five minutes later, I'm stressed out because it's all gone. I'm waiting for the the on the website, it's like a five-minute countdown. You get like a 10 cent rate back, so you get 10 cents back, and that's the mailing bet and that track. That one day I took 10 cents, turned it into five dollars.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

Then what'd you do with that five dollars?

SPEAKER_02 32:46

I took that five dollars and I did five dollars all on one bet, and I lost every penny of it. From that day forward, I I have not been back on there.

SPEAKER_01 32:55

That's why when I'm up at the casino, most times I have done a few times where I bet my winnings back. Usually if I'm up, I pull out.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

That's the problem. You gotta keep going. That machine's gonna hit sooner than later. Yeah, but a profit's a profit. No, it's not. What if five dollars? That's not even worth going to the casino. That don't pay for your gas.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

Well, when I ride with you, it does.

SPEAKER_02 33:21

No. I want to get into blackjack. I think I could get ahead with blackjack.

SPEAKER_01 33:29

Yeah, that's one where you can you don't have odds in your favor, but you can help your odds.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

Yeah, I mean, a slot machine, it's just like throw money at the wall and see if it multiplies. Blackjack, I mean it's close to that, but I we should go sit at the roulette table. No, roulette doesn't do you any good. I lost a lot of money on roulette. When we went to our boss's bachelor party, or I went, you

Roulette Regrets And ATM Fee Pain

SPEAKER_02 33:55

didn't. I guess because you didn't even know him at the time.

SPEAKER_03 33:58

No.

SPEAKER_02 33:58

When I went there, one of the groomsmen convinced me I was down bad. So I think the whole trip, so we went on a fishing charter and we got an Airbnb, and we all had to pitch in. I think there's six or seven of us. Six uh never do that again. I had to get up to never do that again. So whatever. I think we all had to pay five hundred dollars, and that was for the the charter and the Airbnb. Well, we had two Airbnbs because there's so many of us. The first night we're there, I lost all $500 I brought. And I brought I brought like $700. And I lost $500 of it at the casino. And I'm sweating the bullets. And one of the guys comes up to me and says, go over to the roulette table, put it all on red. Well, you guys left. So I have $200 left. I can't, it might even be at a second casino. I go over there, I put it on red, I fail. Okay, and he's like, well, that's just bad luck. Go get some more money out of the ATM. So I go to the ATM, I pull $200 out, and this is at a casino, and at the casino, the ATMs charge like $10 some of them for a transaction fee. So I go back over and he's then he's explaining to me all the numbers. It's a digital roulette table. He's like, so these are the numbers you want to bet on, these are the ones that are gonna hit. So I'm betting on them all. There goes that $200. I go back and pull another $200 out of the ATM. So my limit at the bank that I had at the time was $400 a day in ATM transactions. Pull out the money. I lose all $200 that I'm down. I don't even know, $1,100. Yeah, that was not fun. And then so now I have no money. Zero dollars. And it's midnight, or not even quite midnight. I can't pull any more money out of the ATM yet. I have nothing. And I had to pay for the Airbnb, I think the next day. It was only a dollar for two days or something like that. So I had to pay for my portion of the trip. I had hardly any money. Somehow I made it work. I used a card, got my $400, and I had another card, I got it. But it was going so bad. That trip cost me, which I I didn't spend nearly as much as some of the other guys. But at the time, I did not have the money for that trip.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

That's why I don't like gambling.

unknown 36:34

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

Because you could have had, I don't know, nice rifle.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

I I have contemplated calling that 1-800 gamble sometimes. Because to me, it's not even just me winning. If I could watch you win, I'd get off the same way.

SPEAKER_01 36:55

I've never seen someone. Well, I've seen people who waste their lives gambling, whatever, but I've never seen someone with so much excitement for gambling as people. Like there's just a little spark in you, and there's you walk into a casino, there's lights everywhere. Because you're even enthusiastic about losing.

SPEAKER_03 37:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

Like you're you're mad, but it's not like you get depressed. You're still like you have the adrenaline high.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

Yeah, well, because normally I don't normally just lose it all hardly. It's kind of like a roller coaster. Up and down, up and down. And then I'm trying to catch my tail. And that's when it goes all wrong.

SPEAKER_01 37:38

So do you remember the first time you dropped me to a casino? We had to go to Minnesota.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

Because we weren't old enough.

SPEAKER_02 37:47

That was for my birthday.

SPEAKER_01 37:49

And it was for your birthday, is why you convinced me to go. And we get there. So it wouldn't have been your birthday, would have it?

SPEAKER_02 37:59

It was my birthday. It was in September.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

Because we did the scratch-offs before that.

SPEAKER_02 38:03

No, it was for my 19th birthday. Oh, okay. 19th or 20th birthday.

SPEAKER_01 38:07

Oh, okay. But so we look up a casino in Minnesota, the closest one, and we go there, and they don't have a single machine. It's all blackjack. What was the other games they had?

SPEAKER_02 38:22

It's just all table games.

SPEAKER_01 38:23

Yeah, it was all table games. And Tanner kind of knew how to play, so was the other kid, but I had no clue on how to play any of it. So I just had to stand around. And they spent, I don't know, probably 30, 40 bucks each. And then we're like, screw this, let's go to a different casino that actually has machines and stuff. So we made sure now, whenever we went to casinos, that we go to ones with machines.

SPEAKER_02 38:52

You didn't do very good that night, did you?

SPEAKER_01 38:54

No, I gave myself a hundred dollar limit. I said, if I am ever up, if I'm 25 cents up, I'm cashing out, walking away. And I went down, down, down, down. I think I had I had like 30 some cents left. And it was only because I couldn't find a machine that I wanted to play that would do a minimum bet less than that. I can't believe you just you're the stingiest man.

SPEAKER_02 39:24

It irritates me. Except the podcast. You're you're kind of gung low to spend some money on the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 39:31

Yeah, I'll spend a little here and there.

SPEAKER_02 39:33

Yeah, that's impressive.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

Investment.

SPEAKER_02 39:35

Investment?

SPEAKER_01 39:35

Yeah. We're gonna become famous.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

Kind of like your belly, it's an investment.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

You know, my old Instagram has that. There's some fat guys, and they call it Capital One Bankers or whatever. It's an investment. I just don't know how you're ever gonna get to return on a belly. It's like a piggy bag. It just keeps getting bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:00

Hopefully one day it pops. Yeah. Well, I think there's some funnier things we can talk about. Well, I wanna grill you on something. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

What are you gonna grill me on?

SPEAKER_02 40:21

Oh, I just wanna grill you.

SPEAKER_03 40:25

You wanna go on my dream vacation?

50 States And Buffalo Wild Wings Dream

SPEAKER_03 40:30

I mean talking about big bellies, yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 40:34

Last episode we talked about Derek's dream vacation. Derek and I. And on a pure coincidence, we were just talking about this like, eh, obviously, I think I love this restaurant more than you. Because I could eat it every day. Derek and I have an undying love for Buffalo Wild Wings. And I'm not sure, but I would sure think that there's one in every state. I'd imagine. So you've heard of 50 states, 50 dates, or 50 dates, 50 states, however they say it. I wanna do 50 states, 50 buffalo wild wings.

SPEAKER_03 41:15

That'd be good.

SPEAKER_01 41:18

I'll try. That's fifty know how many days that would take? Because like you can only eat at like three, four Buffalo Wild Wings a day.

SPEAKER_02 41:27

Well yeah, but you're gonna have to drive across states, uh I don't care how long it takes.

SPEAKER_01 41:33

Well, we're like 60, 70? Maybe we could get a calendar we can post when we go to Buffalo Wild Wings.

SPEAKER_02 41:40

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 41:42

Try and go to them all.

SPEAKER_02 41:43

My actual dream occasion is Bora Bora, but I'll never ever make it to Bora Bora, so I think 50 Buffalo Wild Wings in a different state.

SPEAKER_03 41:54

You know, one in each state. I think it's possible. We we'll have to research these there's Buffalo Wild Wings everywhere.

SPEAKER_02 42:03

I mean, we can maybe throw in a Waffle House here that okay. I no Waffle House. I need anyone everyone's opinion on this. Derek loves Waffle House. I've been to one Waffle House in my life. I will never go back to another Waffle House. That is the That is the worst house.

SPEAKER_01 42:23

I can't even remember where that Waffle House was.

SPEAKER_02 42:25

It was like outside of Chattanooga.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

That's part of our reason. We went to the furthest north Waffle House because we wanted to eat at a Waffle House. So we like looked up the first one we were gonna drive by on our way to Florida. And you think that's the problem? Yeah, it's a southern thing. You have to get down there to get out of all the other waffle houses I've gone to were delicious.

SPEAKER_02 42:46

I mean, it it wasn't the food wasn't necessarily terrible.

SPEAKER_01 42:50

No, the potatoes were the hash browns. I don't know if they wetted down spaghetti noodles and threw some salt on them.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

I don't I don't even know. It looked like maggots or waxies.

SPEAKER_01 43:03

Yeah, they were not potatoes.

SPEAKER_02 43:08

Like fake hair. If you've ever seen a cartoon character's fake hair, that's what it looked like. And I don't know how, but the milk was cold, but it tasted warm. I don't know how you pull that off, but it that was terrible.

SPEAKER_01 43:23

Oh that was the worst waffle I've been to. All the other ones I've been to are delicious. Ten out of ten.

SPEAKER_02 43:31

What the only thing I hope to bring to Wisconsin is that Buckeys.

Buc Ees Crowds And Travel Stops

SPEAKER_01 43:35

Buckies, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:36

That was amazing.

SPEAKER_01 43:38

I didn't know there could be that many gas pumps at one spot. How many do you think their holding tanks are? That's what I wondered.

SPEAKER_03 43:45

I'd been like insane.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

Like I don't know. What can you throw at? Everyone that I've heard talk about Bucky, oh, they're the best thing. They're the biggest gas stations. I just assumed they were like a quick trip. Maybe a little better than a quick trip. I thought they were all over. I didn't realize there's what, like five of them or something is all. I don't think there's a I could be completely wrong, but I didn't think there was many of them. But I mean the gas pump just on and on forever. Well, we were pumping like 98 or something. It was just under a hundred.

SPEAKER_02 44:19

Yeah. And then you walk inside and you've got a gas station, you've got a Walmart, you've got a furniture store.

SPEAKER_01 44:28

I was gonna say, I'm pretty sure you could buy a Christmas tree there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:31

It's so busy in this place. There was people directing traffic not only to get to the bathroom, like not like person traffic. You walk in the bathroom and there's an employee in there telling you, all right, that urinal's open, that urinal's open, that stall's open, they're asking you, you have to pee or move, and they're freaking telling you where to go.

SPEAKER_01 44:52

Yeah, that was insane. I you loved it. I kind of thought I don't ever want to stop here again because I don't like people that much.

SPEAKER_02 45:02

Well, neither do I, in a sense, but I was just mesmerized by it. I'm mesmerized by things like that. It's like skyscrapers. Yeah. I wanna go to a tall skyscraper and just look at it. I'd probably push you off. Really? Yeah. That's a douche move. What would you do without me?

SPEAKER_01 45:22

I'll probably enjoy myself. You probably would.

SPEAKER_02 45:25

No, you wouldn't. You would be sad.

SPEAKER_01 45:28

Uh, maybe. You'd be sad without me. Wouldn't you Yeah. Yeah, I would.

SPEAKER_02 45:35

You don't quite sure of that answer. I'm gonna disappear and see what your life is like.

SPEAKER_01 45:41

I don't believe that.

SPEAKER_02 45:43

What?

SPEAKER_01 45:44

You wouldn't disappear.

SPEAKER_02 45:46

I could disappear for a week.

SPEAKER_01 45:47

You like work too much?

SPEAKER_02 45:49

No, I really don't. I got no choice.

SPEAKER_01 45:51

You're too dedicated.

SPEAKER_02 45:53

I gotta work with people like you. You think I like work?

SPEAKER_01 45:58

Probably before I started.

SPEAKER_02 46:00

Yeah, it was a lot more enjoyable before I had to see you every day. I'm gonna put a poll up. We're gonna vote yes

Hair Heat And Air Conditioning Debates

SPEAKER_02 46:10

or no? What are you gonna put on the poll? You're gonna be like a shisko shish kebab. I can't even say it. No. You need to cut that mop of yours.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

I might. It's getting warm.

SPEAKER_02 46:24

How do you deal with it?

SPEAKER_01 46:26

Oh, it just stays back.

SPEAKER_02 46:29

I mean, it would be one thing if you like maintain your flow, but at work and it works a different story. Right now, it's not as bad. But at work when your hair is sticking out to the side.

SPEAKER_01 46:41

Well, that's because the air conditioners in the skid steers blow it every which way, and then the wind blows.

SPEAKER_02 46:46

The air conditioner in the skid steers when it's 40 degrees now, you gotta have them on full bore.

SPEAKER_01 46:52

You don't have air conditioner in your house. Is that why you like it so probably? I don't have air conditioner in my house or my truck, so I have to enjoy it when I see it's nice, ain't it?

SPEAKER_02 47:02

It's on right now.

SPEAKER_01 47:02

It is well, actually, I can't say that. We've had we've got window units the last couple years. After it broke my neck. Since like I was already miserable, my parents put a window unit in my bedroom, and now didn't you have a central air unit that you could use? We had everything ready to go, and we had one sitting in the shed, but we never hooked it up. Why? Well, it costs money to run, it's not needed. We have a basement, so you could just go down there and it would be nice and cool in the summer. I cannot live without AC. I hate Remy wants air conditioning in the worst way. She says it's a necessity.

SPEAKER_02 47:42

It is. I agree with Remy.

SPEAKER_01 47:44

I see if we have kids, I want my kids to know what I had to grow up like.

SPEAKER_02 47:49

That's the kind of parents you're gonna be?

SPEAKER_01 47:51

Not totally, but they don't get air conditioning and they don't get cable TV.

SPEAKER_02 47:55

You don't have cable TV?

SPEAKER_01 47:56

No, all we have is a little antenna out in the garage.

SPEAKER_02 47:59

Who has cable TV anymore?

SPEAKER_01 48:01

Well, no, but five, ten years ago when cable was the thing, we didn't have it. We have Netflix.

SPEAKER_02 48:08

Netflix.

SPEAKER_01 48:09

Netflix. You need a VZ box.

SPEAKER_00 48:11

Those are illegal.

SPEAKER_02 48:12

No, they're not.

SPEAKER_01 48:13

Yes, they are.

SPEAKER_02 48:13

No, they're not.

SPEAKER_01 48:14

Yes, they are.

SPEAKER_02 48:15

You can buy them at Walmart.

SPEAKER_01 48:16

The box isn't illegal, but using them is.

SPEAKER_02 48:19

Why?

SPEAKER_01 48:20

It's pirating software or something.

SPEAKER_02 48:22

I was told by a guy I bought it from. I didn't buy it. I was told it's not illegal to use. Because it does something different.

SPEAKER_01 48:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 48:33

It's not like you're downloading it.

SPEAKER_01 48:35

No, I mean you'll never get caught.

SPEAKER_02 48:37

What if that's my downfall in life? I go to jail from the FBI for a BZ boss.

SPEAKER_01 48:42

I'll be the only person in the county that doesn't go to jail for a BZ boss.

SPEAKER_02 48:46

Could you imagine our boss? That's his downfall. Going to jail for pirate.

SPEAKER_01 48:51

That would be fluffy.

SPEAKER_02 48:52

Oh, that would be bad.

SPEAKER_01 48:54

I just don't watch PV enough. I mean.

SPEAKER_02 48:57

Why?

SPEAKER_01 48:58

I go on my phone, go on the marketplace, watch TikToks, or I just But why don't you like TV? I don't know, probably because I can't see that far to go.

SPEAKER_02 49:08

Where's your glasses? Yeah. Where are your glasses?

SPEAKER_01 49:12

At home.

SPEAKER_02 49:13

You wore them here before.

unknown 49:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:16

I just don't feel like it's a necessity in here.

SPEAKER_01 49:18

No. I don't I don't need them to drive legally yet, so blind is a bat. I can see like up to 20 feet pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 49:29

Really? What's that big say?

SPEAKER_03 49:34

Bean.

SPEAKER_02 49:37

Well, if you can read that, you can read the bottom. The bottom is the lighting screw.

SPEAKER_01 49:44

See, I can see that far. I couldn't I couldn't like if it was just a single letter, I probably couldn't tell it, but I can just kind of see the shape of the word. Possibly. Well, I gave it to you because you couldn't read the bottom.

SPEAKER_02 49:57

Okay, uh hard to see anyway. It starts with a C, I think. No, it's an O.

SPEAKER_01 50:02

That's close.

SPEAKER_02 50:04

No. No.

SPEAKER_00 50:07

They're the same shape, just one's not finished.

SPEAKER_02 50:10

Why?

SPEAKER_00 50:11

I don't know, because that's what the English people decide.

SPEAKER_02 50:14

Oh, here we

Punctuationalist Menus And Receipt Audits

SPEAKER_02 50:15

go. Are you a punctuationalist? I am a punctuationalist. You are the biggest tool I've ever met. We're in Florida. At a restaurant, this poor waitress just wants to get off, go home, see her family. And Derek's over here asking her if she's a punctuationalist because the menu was read wrong.

SPEAKER_01 50:38

Well, I ordered. So the way the menu is written, I can't remember exactly how it was, but I I even double-checked it on Google, so you know it was right. But the way it was written, it made it sound like you got a beefsteak and an ahi tuna steak. Well, here you only got one or the other. So I told them that I wanted my beefsteak as rare as they could, and I wanted my ahi tuna glazed, because it was either glazed or grilled. And so she said, okay, she didn't tell me that it was only one or the other. Well, they only come out with the beefsteak. And so I asked where my ahi tuna was. She said, Oh, it was a like misprint on the menu or whatever. So I had her bring me the menu. I told them that I was well, I was very nice at first until they said I was wrong. And then it's like, okay, if you're gonna tell me I'm wrong, I'll be right. So I had him bring out a menu, explained it to her, asked her if she was a punctuationalist, which I don't think is a word, but it is now. I ended up getting my ahi to mistake, at least.

SPEAKER_02 51:51

And I think Tanner was a little embarrassed about it, but it was embarrassing but incredibly funny at the same time. Because the punctuation are you a punctuationalist? Is what he said. And he said it just like that, straight faced, and it comes over you in a way of like, how do I not just die laughing? I can't believe he just said that. There's so many emotions running through you when you do that.

SPEAKER_04 52:20

And you do.

SPEAKER_01 52:22

Well, at first I was nicer at first. I remember like asking her, like, oh, I think you forgot my iTunes, and she told then she told me that it was one or the other on the menu, and I said, No, I read the menu because I thought it was weird because it was like $2 more for this than the meal that just had steak. And so I'm like, well, I might as well spend $2 and get a ahi tuna steak, also. And so I even read it multiple times because it seemed strange for the price. And then when she told me I was wrong, I was like, okay, bring the menu out. Like there's just so many things about you that just well, when we first left, Cater was giving crap for this, also. When we first left for our Florida trip, we stopped at Quick Trip and filled up with gas and got some snacks. Well, I always keep kind of a running tab in my head when I'm grabbing stuff at the gas station just to know the approximate amount it should be. And so I checked out and it seemed a little high. So I look at my receipt. Well, they charged me for two sandwiches. So it was like $3 off. Like it was $3 too much. So I went in and showed the lady at the cash register, and so I had to get two sandwiches. Well, she would have refunded, but I was like, I'll just go grab another sandwich, I'll eat it anyway.

SPEAKER_02 53:48

So I'm never no, I'm different. I know some people are like you. 99% of the people don't look at the receipt from the gas station.

SPEAKER_01 53:59

And so, how many how much money do you think you spent in your life because of that?

SPEAKER_02 54:03

I don't know. I don't care. I don't want to argue with the poor poor old lady that's you know what I will give you the one time and and she didn't charge me for it, and I didn't get it, and it made me mad. Went to a quick trip, and I wanted to try a Western omelet thing, sandwich or whatever. Yeah. Never had one. Set it on a collar, and she didn't ring it up, and I didn't even like fully notice it until I was like, someone else had blocked up to the collar and still sat on the collar. She didn't ring it up. And I'm still mad about that to this day, because I have yet to try.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

And you could have got it for free. You could have just grabbed it.

SPEAKER_02 54:46

Like I can't steal. That's dishonest.

SPEAKER_01 54:50

I wouldn't consider that stealing though. That's their mistake. Really?

SPEAKER_03 54:56

Why are you like that? Like what? You. You're just trying to get me going. Yeah. Oh. It's been long enough, dude. Yeah. Alright.

SPEAKER_02 55:14

I'm sure they're tired of listening to us talk at the time.

SPEAKER_01 55:18

Yeah. I feel like this one's a little bit boring. We have a few good stories. Yeah. This is a little more laid back.

SPEAKER_02 55:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:26

Little background.

SPEAKER_02 55:27

That's what it's about though. I only see what I deal with every day.

SPEAKER_01 55:34

They see

The Awkward Health Update And Goodbye

SPEAKER_01 55:35

what I deal with.

SPEAKER_02 55:36

I'm not that bad.

SPEAKER_01 55:37

I can't wait to get the results back. I think did we bring it up in the last episode about your balls? Yeah. Tanner's all worried that his family's gonna tell him he has to go to the doctors.

SPEAKER_02 55:49

Yeah, I'm a little concerned about that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:51

You probably should. If you're concerned that your family wants you to go to the doctors, then you should probably go to the doctors.

SPEAKER_02 55:56

No, because it's there's not a problem there.

SPEAKER_01 56:00

You know there's not a problem. Do they work well?

SPEAKER_02 56:02

Yeah. I could imagine that my walls are perfectly healthy. I don't see anything that would be wrong with them.

SPEAKER_01 56:10

Besides that, they're squishy.

SPEAKER_02 56:13

They're not squishy.

SPEAKER_01 56:15

Should we yell for a dog to come down here?

SPEAKER_02 56:17

Come here and give them a feel. No. Well, if you're that concerned about mine, scroll them.

SPEAKER_01 56:24

Let the doctor let the doctor feel them.

SPEAKER_02 56:27

Oh. I'm not going to the doctor for it. Unless everyone says I have to. It's gonna take a lot of people to I don't my balls are not squirted. It may be a little bit large. I I don't know. This size I feel like is a like have you ever grabbed your nut and felt how big it is?

SPEAKER_03 56:54

No.

SPEAKER_02 56:54

Okay, then how can you even say that my body? Like the way they're described. They're not squishy.

SPEAKER_01 57:09

Okay. Maybe your fans should see down into your balls. You know what?

SPEAKER_02 57:14

Just come here and give them a feel. If you're that concerned about it, come here and give them a feel.

SPEAKER_01 57:18

Uh I think people have heard enough about your balls. Oh, I mean until the update. Yeah, we'll see if I'm not.

SPEAKER_02 57:31

You're you're just you dream about my balls. That's fine. Maybe. Alright. I'm tired of talking to you. Yeah, I'm ready to go home.

SPEAKER_01 57:41

Are you? Yeah. Why? Oh, you're not very good to look at. Sorry, I knocked my head off helping you carry your TV in.

SPEAKER_02 57:52

Well, you know what? That's what friends are for. Yeah. I'll help you carry your big TV in someday.

SPEAKER_01 57:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 58:00

Okay. Alright. Have a good night, Derek. You too. Bye.