Early Morning Conversation Sparks Debate

Watching a podcast change in real time is half the fun and we found that out at 5 a.m. while testing our first video podcast setup. You’ll hear us joke about the new “studio” feel, argue about who actually shows up on time, and admit that being seen on camera is a whole different kind of pressure than audio.

From there, it’s a straight shot into real-life blue-collar problems: turkey season conflicts, a brake line blowing at the worst time, whether ball joints count as “maintenance,” and why the used truck market makes you feel broke even when you’re trying to be practical. We also talk about registering vehicles online, getting hit with full-year plate costs, and the kind of everyday fees that make people mad enough to start ranting about taxes.

And because our brains don’t stay on one track, the conversation pivots into listener support, podcast donations, and our merch plans, including an Etsy shop with mugs, stickers, sweatshirts, and hats. Then it escalates into bigger questions about gas prices, regulation, and energy, including a surprisingly serious nuclear power debate about safety, efficiency, and why small reactors could make sense for towns. We end on the kind of painfully relatable storytelling you can’t unhear, with bathroom-emergency confessions and the simple moral that hits hardest: don’t tease someone for a mistake that might come back around.

If you laughed, cringed, or argued with us out loud, subscribe, share this with a friend who loves unfiltered comedy podcasts, and leave a review so we can keep leveling up the show.

Transcript

5 A.M. Start And Video Debut

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What time is it? A little after 5 a.m. Why? Because somebody couldn't record last Wednesday and had to take his girlfriend out for dinner. Okay, well, why can't we record this weekend? Yeah, so it's not just Wednesdays our days. Really? Well, it's Wednesday. Yeah. We're gonna go frolicking in the leaves together today. Yeah, we are. Alright. Well, this is our first video podcast. I don't know how I feel about it. It's why. I don't know. It's bad enough having people listen to me now, they have to see me also. Oh, someone forgot. Oh, I guess you can't even see it, but someone forgot the mammo though to wear a uniform for the podcast. You told me to work my uniform, so. Yeah, you wore your work uniform. Yeah. Well, it's changed since the last time we've been here. Yeah, you turn the table around and got things camera set up, we have lighting. Yeah. It's interesting. Yeah, it feels like an actual studio. Feels like a professional now. No thanks to you. You're supposed to help with all this, but you know you have turkey on. Yeah. How'd that go? Not good. Well, you got turkeys to gobble every morning, but never got one. Why why didn't you get one?

unknown 1:33

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

I'm just a bad hunter. No, I mean I got one in, but I couldn't couldn't see it good enough through the brush, so I didn't shoot it. So you skipped out on our podcast or on our potential to record. To not even shoot a turkey. No. Wednesday nights is when we record. There's more important things that we're doing. Wednesday nights is when we record. How would

Turkey Hunting And Missed Recording

SPEAKER_00 2:00

your girlfriend feel if it was her birthday and you didn't take her out to supper? Oh. Probably not very good. I'd take her out for two suppers the day before and the day after. Really? Yeah. We could have recorded last night, but uh, you know, someone had to fix their truck. Yeah. What's wrong with it?

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Blowing brake line.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

So, you know, it was a junky truck. And now it's an even junkier truck. Yeah. You ready to sell it to me yet? 500 bucks as it's hits. No, you gotta fix it first. Oh meow. No, you gotta fix it first. I'll be like you. If I fix it, I add four grand. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So the ironic thing is, is my truck has also got issues right now. Uh-huh. And you won't buy it. Because you want for what you paid for. Well, yeah. Appreciation. Appreciation. No, I was saying inflation. Inflation. And then I said no, it's depreciation. No, it's inflation. Uh-uh. I mean, I think 40,000 to the price. 30,000 right now before you fix it. I'll give you a friend's discount of 36. That's what you paid for. Yeah. No. It's went up in value. How about this? I'll buy it for 36, but then you buy my green truck for six. No. Green truck. You buy my white truck for six. No, no, you're mate. Maybe. No, I was looking at half tons last night, and uh, I think I'm just gonna fix my truck and bite the bullet. Because uh they used to be cheaper. They're not anymore. They're still cheaper than a three-quarter ton. Well, yeah, but I think they flip-flop. I think you know they're a little bit better on gas mileage, and so now the three-quarter tons of heavy-duty trucks are kind of dropping, and the half tons are going up. So you're talking about selling your truck, which sounds like it has major issues like an engine or a transmission or something like that. What's actually wrong with your truck? Well, it needs ball joints. Okay. Uh, and rear shocks. Maybe a wheel bearing. It's not cheap to fix though. That's because you don't do it yourself. Well, yeah, because I don't want to mess with it. It's scary to drive right now. Actually, so when you first take off in the morning, it's scary to drive. After that, it's fine. I wonder if your like brake isn't holding up a little bit or something. I don't know. Why would it only do it in the morning? If you stop hard, does it do it again? Well, I can leave it sit at work all day, get in at the end of the day, and it doesn't do it. Oh. Is it just the cold? I don't think so. It's weird. Huh. I I'm I'm poor. I actually last time we talked about how shitty of a truck I drive, so now I'm driving the white truck today, so. That's actually a nice truck. Minus the tents. I mean, it looks like a golf pole off the hills, but it was fairly rust-free and it's starting to get a little down. Are you gonna keep driving it now? Until I fix the V10. I don't know why you like the V10 so much. Oh. Feels like you're actually driving. The white truck has AC and stuff. You don't need air conditioning. Did you get it registered? Yep. How'd you do that? Online. Figured it out. I used it. So you don't have the sticker, you just No, I don't have the sticker, so I have to avoid towel. I don't think it'll bother me. You know, I'd almost buy that from you at some point. That's a nice truck. Really, I mean, for I think I've put like 60,000 miles on it since I bought it. And besides brakes, and then now it needs a transfer case chain. I haven't had any other issues really with it. Doesn't it need ball joints also? Yeah, I guess ball joints. Okay, I don't want to buy it. Ball joints don't count, those are maintenance. Really? Why are they maintenance? Because they wear out. That's dumb. I drive like a nice human being. How often have you greased your front end? Exactly. There's no grease service. Oh, I suppose those are non-greaseable. Yeah. So I mean they just you know, that's one thing where Ford went wrong, is they don't make your vehicle serviceable. And I don't like that. We should we should stop talking about this for a second. And hold on.

Truck Problems And Used Truck Prices

SPEAKER_00 7:01

I want to say thank you to everyone that's been supporting us. We've gotten some donations. We appreciate that. That's helped us get to the point where we have video now. I think video was the next big step for us. Yeah, people people involved video. And uh, you know, I can also make clips now and try to help us grow. I'm just saying, I'm not being bashful about that. When you're over here trying to like suck on my kiddy or something, yeah, good girl. No, do that. I won't just read the scott and give you a little bit of a might have to lower the camera angle so they can watch us play fire truck. Fire trucks don't stop at red lights. I mean they're supposed to, but when we play, I don't stop. Okay. Um, another thing. Well, I'm wearing this shirt, you can't really see it. Stand up and give them a little twirl. I don't know how that's gonna work, because then I'm gonna be they're gonna be pointing at my wiener. I wonder if the cat hair shows up by the way. Oh. Ooh, that's bad. We didn't play with the pussy this morning. Yeah. The two guys, no script. Um so I think as of right now, we're gonna do one month of donos. Or donations for a shirt or the subscription tiers for the shirt giveaway. We'll see how it goes. And then I've been working on a merch store. I was thinking about leaving the shirts off of it if we want to keep doing a donation. But I got and now I can't afford it because I gotta fix my truck and I spent a lot of money the last one. But I've got coffee mugs made, window stickers, sweatshirts. Uh what else did I have? So one other thing. I was thinking we could start selling that stuff. If people wanting to buy it, yeah. It's free to put it out there. So I was just gonna put make it. Um once I it's gonna be a month or so. I gotta be able to order all the stuff. I'm gonna post it on the Facebook. It's an Etsy shop. Okay. I've got it all set up. I didn't tell you about this. I don't know if anyone would want to buy any, you know, merch. It's nothing different than a t-shirt. You don't have coffee mug. Oh, I have hats too. I have different designs of hats too. It's got the this logo on the hat. I mean, it's pretty much this logo on um the coffee mug, the shirt. No, not the shirt, the stickers, the hat. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

So I was kinda playing at that. I don't know. The the store isn't live. I haven't launched it or nothing yet. I kinda gotta see how this is gonna go. You're kinda flaky. I never know if you're

Donations Fuel The Video Setup

SPEAKER_00 9:50

gonna keep showing up. Hey, this has been almost like a month, and I've I I'm I'm impressed. I'm here at 5 a.m. I'm really impressed. I I can't believe I could get up this early. I can't but you can't. You're late. I was 10 minutes late. You definitely rolled out of bed like asthma headlights pulled in the dragon. Oh, I was down here, I had all this turned on, I was waiting for you. I've been up since about 4.30. That's about when I got up. I got up at 4.35. I didn't get out of bed at 4.30. I got out of bed about 4:40. Because I'm like, you know, Derek might be early. Maybe get a head start at this. Yeah, you you did not think that. I did. And then you text me at like 5 after 5. I'm on my way. It was 525. No way. Yep. Oh. Is that your alarm? Yeah, I set like 80,000 alarms. I only shut a few off. Me too. But I didn't set all my normal alarms. What do you got? Buddy, you're just like me, but I didn't set them all today. I did. In case I decide. Well, because we said if you heard from me, we wouldn't do the podcast. So I was thinking like uh if I so you were gonna wake up at I set my alarms at like seven at night. That way when I want to go to bed, I just lay down. You were gonna wake up at 4 30. Text me. No, last night, if I decided. Well, I didn't hear nothing from you, so I just well I also went to bed at 9 30, and I'm thinking like uh if he stays up late, text me at like 10, 10.30. Which I know you like to go to bed early, but if you stay up late, text me at like 10, 10.30. And I get up at 4.30 for this guy. I'd be frustrated. But you made it. Yep. You didn't bring the coffee though. I'm kinda upset. No, I if you wouldn't if I knew you wouldn't be mad if I was late, I would have made some coffee, but that would add another five minutes. Uh five uh we're kinda on a time front today. Yeah. You gotta get to the part store. I start work earlier than you. It's kind of dumb. You did it to yourself. Yeah, I did, but you know, you could get there that early too. Just to be a good guy. Yeah. Stand around and drink coffee with you. Yeah, good Samaritan. Yeah, you can bring the coffee every morning. It'd be nice of you. Yeah. Oh, I feel like every time that I come in early, like to try and get something done, we end up just standing there and BSing for most of the time. Yeah, you really you really slow production down in the morning. Because you just you don't have that spark of life in you. If no one when I get there at like 6 30 isn't, if no one's there to try to talk to me, I can get going right to get work done. But as soon as someone tries to come talk to me, it's like, and then I can't get away. Like I'm trying to I know I need to start doing something, but they're they're still talking and I'm trying to be nice and not just walk away and make conversation. And that's our boss is like that also. Like it's a lot of times when I've got there early, like if he does too, and then he'll just like sit and BS for until our regular start time.

unknown 13:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:24

It's like you can't blame us, I guess. Right. You could have showered before this too. I did. Really? Yeah. Your hair's still kind of a mess. I combed it even this morning. I actually had to put a hat on because uh my

Alarms Coffee And Morning Work Routines

SPEAKER_00 13:40

hair's a little wild. We got the haircut this weekend. I need to get a haircut. My girlfriend called it uh a tanner grooving day. We're gonna get a haircut and uh trim the. Yeah, maybe. Yo, talk about manscaping. I I hope at some point we get a partnership or something with Manscaped, because I love their products. I got like the weed whacker or whatever. That thing's legit. Huh. You want to shake it? I just use uh Remy's leg shaver for well since her leg's shaver. Well, I mean she doesn't have shaver face. Yeah. So it's not that bad. No. Why don't you use your own? Oh. You don't use your beard. I use it to trim up my beard sometimes. Don't you hate that when you when you before? Because I know you were in the same situation as me. You had a beard trimmer, and that's all you have. No, I actually have one I used for my balls, and when I use for my beard. Okay, but before, didn't you just have a beard trimmer? Yeah. We were talking the one time, like you shave your balls, then you're like, oh shit, I have to shave my face too, and I just shave my balls with my beard trimmer. Women that's why you have to shower first. That way your balls are clean then. Women don't understand. I have a thing, like my towel, I have to like when I get out of the shower, I have to dry my face first. Uh-huh. I gotta get it good, because as soon as I wipe my balls, it's not going back to my face. Until it dries again. Yeah. Women don't understand that because then they're like, well, the next time you shower, you don't know where you wiped your balls at on the towel. Okay, well, that's a different story. But in the moment, if I'm thinking about it, I Well, mind you, is like you're clean when you dry off. So your towel can never get dirty, right? So, like, yeah, you don't want to use it on your balls and instantly on your face, but like after a day and it dries out, it's clean again. Like, yeah, it airs out, dries out. Yeah, I agree. Grammy will get mad. I pretty much only get a new shower towel when she changes it. Because like, I'll go like a week without changing it. And then she'll just, you have to change this thing more than that changes it out for me. It's kind of nice. Well, I have the same problem. Because my girlfriend, she'll grab the towel and it stinks, she says, I don't know, I can't I don't smell. I think they have like dog senses or something because I can't smell it. And then I get a new towel. I don't know, to me, it's clean. But I'm not like you on everything, because like you with your bed, you think it's always clean as long as you've showered before you got into it. Ah, you gotta change your bed sheets after a while. Yeah. It is nice to change and all like it feels nice when they're nice fresh. Oh, I know. Think of all that slash you got going on in the middle of the night. Oh, yeah. Do you sleep naked? No. Really? Do you? No. I feel like that's a lie. I don't sleep naked, actually. Are you scared to roll over onto your testicles? Yeah. That would hurt. I think we have camera here. You just let the world see it. Drop my drawers. Just let the world see it. I think we'd get cancelled. I mean, not that we're that big, but I'm pretty sure we'd get canceled for something like that. Well, we could just edit them out. We could like black out over them. So that way they just at least get to see the size. Why don't I just start like an OnlyFans and just pull the picture of my testicles? No. Everyone comment on the what is it called? The fan mail. Yeah. $19.99 for Tanner's Balls on OnlyFans, if you want to see it. Say say it then if we get enough uh traction. Like, you know, if you can make a thousand dollars from it, like if that many people are like, yeah, I want to see them. Yeah. I think I'll get the kitchen vlog if you want if you want to see can it ball. If you pay me a thousand dollars, I'll post on my Snapchat story. Really? Yeah. You won't do it because you're too cheap. You're too cheap. Yeah, but I bet the guys that work at get a pot going. You know how much a thousand dollars would go for me? Yeah. Or you could just go buy a $500 truck. No, I'm thinking

Haircuts Manscaping And Hygiene Debates

SPEAKER_00 18:20

about a car. Because a car. Gas prices right now. You know, get free gas. You guys take it all. I literally went to get gas like a week ago. I had to go to the gas station. I've been doing good getting free gas at work. And I go to pull up and there's nothing. And I'm like, uh was that the day that I filled the trailer with gas? The trailer? It was the day after that. Oh, okay. I should have been fine. What? Well, because someone else went to get gas and they didn't realize the hose was empty. So they squeezed the trigger for like two seconds, nothing came out. They drove off, so I went and I got a little gas out of it, actually. I I emptied it out. And uh so I went to the gas station, and this war with Iran is really starting to irritate me. I I'll admit, I voted for Donnie. He is not my favorite person anymore. I I'm almost ready to start flying a county flight because it was like four or something a gallon for gas, maybe not quite that. It was close to that. And my truck used to be 60 bucks to fill a full tank. I go to the gas station, $100 bill just for the truck. And then I needed gas for the lawnmower. So I had two cans, and you know, that lasts me a while. I'll give it that last me a while. $45 to mow a lawn for two months. Which, yeah, that is that's not that bad. No, but for the what little gas you got for that, that is insane. Uh-huh. And I don't get why it's affecting us. I don't know. I'm not a politician. I don't pay attention to that. So that takes me back to another point. That's why I don't necessarily want to put my balls on on the internet because I want to run for president someday. Do you? Yep. Well, you don't got my vote. Why? With grammar like that, yeah, I could understand. Don't got don't have. No, you you wouldn't support me. You could be my vice president. Okay, maybe it'll be that way. Why wouldn't you vote for me? Uh-huh. Do you think the president you don't let me go home early? That's what it is. Really? Why? That's a question for you. Why don't you let me go home early? Why would I? You have to work. Do I? Yeah. Especially if you you show up for like twelve hours and don't work. I can't. I said I move some joysticks. Think of how much better I make your life outward. Oh, okay. Think if I wasn't there when think of all the times you ask me a question or ask me to do something for you throughout the day. What do they don't want you to get yelled at? What if I was just poof gone? If I if I mess up, you get yelled at. Yeah. I ask you because you're the one who's gonna get yelled at, so before you do it. Well, so you're doing me a favor. Yeah, doing you a favor. So just think of how much into your life would be with you.

Gas Prices Politics And Big Plans

SPEAKER_00 21:41

How do you always spin it on me? Uh uh. It's such a narcissist. Yeah. You're always the you're always the the innocent, not a guilty one. Uh huh. I am. Why? Good boy. No, you're not. You are a bad Oh that's weird. Really? Do I break out the lips and chains? Unfortunately don't have any. I bet you guys do. No. I bet you do. No, I don't. I promise you. Really? I promise you. So that's not the way you talk at work. Oh, you're stuck over here. That's not the way you talk at work. We need that picture of you and your girlfriend.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

Huh?

SPEAKER_00 22:33

I don't see the on the table that we're Derek. We have a podcast. I think we need to start another YouTube channel. I don't know. What do you want to do bad golfing? Yeah. Oh. Why? I feel like that wouldn't take off. You don't think so? I feel like there's too many people that do stuff like that. And like people only want to watch just the golfing for so uh so my idea is it's not just golfing though. It's the same stupidity that's going on here. But out on the golf course playing bad golf. Is it just because you're handicapped now and you can't play golf or no? I can still I can beat you in golf right now. I think you beat me last year. I did. But I didn't try. One and a half hands, I beat you. I didn't try to beat you. Sure. Sure? Sure. Sure. Why I I think I think it would do better than the thing.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

Don't you?

SPEAKER_00 23:41

Yeah, I don't know. We need another way to go. Get some traction here. We just need to get famous. Well, not necessarily need to get famous, but that would help. Think if we could be sitting on the beach right now. Well, I mean, probably not. In a like an hour or two sitting on the beach. Yeah, that would be sipping pina quadras. That wouldn't be bad. Microphone in the hand. That would be the ideal life. That would. Ride our golf carts around everywhere. Be like older retired people. I just want to get I w I'd love to get famous enough on something. We could build our own golf course. Because there's so many fun things online. What do you think it would cost to build a golf course? Well, just think if we bought 80 acres, it don't have to be nothing huge. Well, like a power three. Yeah, you can make a power three course. Okay. And we each bought bulldozers. We could just, you know, if we didn't have to work and we could just spend our days out and bulldozers. I think all that you would be. It would be way more fun to just say screw the golf course and just move dirt all day. I know, right? Just move dirt around. Yeah. What if the end end result was like a private golf course and come out and golf with us once a day if we were families? That'd be fun. Just think about it. You don't have enough time to dream. You're always thinking about stupid things. Yeah. Like trucks, thanks in my truck. And Harley's. Why? There was a ratchet strap in the bottom of this container full of stuff, and you can just see like part of it. And it's pretty much all white, like a Ben Sumley. Like, oh, that's a Harley Davidson ratchet strap. Cav's like, what are you talking about? And it's like a Harley one. So I'd pull it out, dig it out. And then like you had to look close, but you could see in the writing, like, where it was faded, that it said Harley Davidson. If you didn't know what it said, you won't be able to tell. Really? Just have an eye for it. No. You don't have an eye for it. Yeah, I do. Oh, you don't. Eye for the junk. Eye for the junk? Yeah. Why do you like Harley so much? They're fun.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

What about Honda?

SPEAKER_00 26:24

You're paying for the name of the Harley. And the sound. What's the sound like? Can you look at the camera? You know what we need to talk about?

Bad Golf Fame Dreams And Harleys

SPEAKER_00 26:40

You haven't always been a perfect bike rider. I go with this man to pick up his first motorcycle. It's not much of a motorcycle. It's more like a glorified skewer. Yeah. Yeah. He takes off down the road, well, down the driveway. And he just got your motorcycle. Yeah, I got it. Permit or license? That morning I permit or license? License. Okay. So he just got his motorcycle license. And we go to, we're in a town a couple hours away. Well, we're in the country, but we're a couple hours away from Bullet. And you take off on this, and a guy looks at me. You asked me to go away if there was something. And I'm standing there and you're taking off. The guy looks at me, he knows how to ride a bike, right? Like, well, I hope so. He just got his license today. It's like, okay, well, I had a guy come buy a bike from me before and he crashed it while he was test driving it. Do you think like after one time you'd ask like before? You'd be like, oh yeah. I should probably ask. I'll give you that. He should have asked you. But you take out all that driveway and you stall it out or something at the end of his driveway. And I'm like, oh no. I just don't guy. I think you put him out. And he's kind of looking at me like, did you really just lie to me? Yeah. Well, it wasn't the clutch cable was like starting a rust or whatever. It was like 1981. So, and it hadn't been well kept. So, yeah, the clutch was like sticky. So I stalled it because I was trying not to like, you know, beat on it. Yeah, stalled it. And then it wouldn't start again because the starter wouldn't engage every time. So I'd press a button, it would just whee freewheel the starter, and yeah. That was the interesting time. Because then you almost ran out of gas in your truck on the way. Yeah, what happened? Every time I've ever went somewhere. We pull into the gas station, the motorcycle I just bought is tipped over. The ratchet straps came roll up. I don't know. We were supposed to be, it wasn't supposed to take as long as it did. It took like an extra hour or something. Yeah, I can't remember what that was all about. Did you take a different way home or something because you were worried about the bike, or what was it? Oh. I don't know, but we ended up like getting home way later than we planned on. Any trip I've ever taken with you, and we've been in a vehicle that you have had, it's not went well. You know that one time we went to South Dakota with your dad. Granted, that was his turn. Pops a tire. Yeah. We go to the cities before South Dakota. He pop a tire on the freeway in 30 below weather. Which I'll give you a props. I sat in the truck for most of it. I came out and offered assistance. I didn't have a jacket. And then what was it? Did my was my spare tire like flat also? That's what we had to try. Get my spare tire on it sitting on the pretty much sitting on the ground. I have like a half inch of air in there. I'm like, well, I guess we have to get to the gas station and fill it up. Yeah, we had to limp it down the road to the nearest gas station, fill it up. And then you took every back well, not back road, I guess, but we could have been home way sooner, but you take all the backways through all these small towns because there's air at all these towns. And once again, took us way longer to get home than it should have. Well, that was also we started off I need an auger extension. Oh yeah. They were supposed to have one at some sort of like I looked online and they didn't have it, so then we had to drive like another 40 minutes to get the one. We had to have it because we were leaving the next did we leave the next morning? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, we were we were having French time. Yeah, that was That was fun though. You're all you're trying to get your spare tire off your truck. You can fucking get it. I didn't have a jacket. I did offer some assistance. Well, that wasn't gonna help you that much. I mean, we're also standing on the freeway. Yeah, there wasn't a whole lot of room on the that didn't help. Tire the road to work. So

Motorcycle Pickup Disaster Stories

SPEAKER_00 31:20

something I want to bring up, and this is a growing issue of mine. And I I don't know if I should. So you let me start. Your ass crack is always showing. Yeah. You have the worst case of plumber's crack I've ever seen. Yeah. Can we get you suspenders? I have some. Why don't you wear them? Can you guys make fun of me at work for wearing them? Can we Can we try it? Whole suspenders? I think they did work for you. Next Wednesday. Yeah, I don't think you I don't think that you they still my butt crack would still come out. So there's two options here. One option, I think we should like pretty up your butt crack. Tattoo? Get like a tram stamp or you know, like a tattoo coming up. You could do like flowers or something, like your butt cracks the vase, and you can have flowers coming up and branching off and do a tram stamp. I'd pay for it if you got that. I want to get the where's Waldo crawling out of my butt crack. That would be funny. Or I really, really, really want you to wear a thong. I'm not wearing a thong. Why? What side of my balls would I put it on? It's not a string in the front. Isn't it a string up until the like bottom and then what? Aren't thongs like a string until the bottom, and then maybe so I can make the little V. Kinda. I don't think that would hold my ball. Well, you need a whole on each side. Just put it out one side without a leg. How about you wear one? No, I don't have a problem with it. If you wear one just for your own uh comfort, I'll wear one to be funny. No. If you I think you need to wear a thought. Just imagine all the customers and stuff you do within a day. You bent over and they could just see this ball.

unknown 33:27

No.

SPEAKER_00 33:28

Why? No. Why? No. Okay, then I guess there's my next next point here. I think I'm gonna start a GoFundMe for this. I don't know what it comes. GoFundMe. Yep. Do you know where this is going? From my butt crack? Yep. So you have a flat ass. Well, how do you get your pants to stand? You get a BBL. No. Yeah. I'll start doing squats. No, I'm going to start a GoFundMe. Derek's BBL. Nope. Why? I'm not doing that. Why? I don't need a Brazilian butt lift. I think you do. I think you do. No, I've got a butt. I'll get a Brazilian butt lift if you get a boob job. Okay. What do you mean a boob job? Get something like, I don't know. Whatever cups in there. Why do you want me to get a boob job? We have something to look at at work. Oh, that's kind of dirty, dangerous. If you're going to look at a man's boobs? Well, you'd have to shave your beard so that way it don't see your beard in there. Oh you would look at my boobs even though I'm a man. I don't want to sexualize about them. I just look at them. Why? Well, I'm going to put this out there. If anyone wants to support Derek BBL, I'm going to start a GoFundMe for this. What would you do if we raise like $100,000 to get a BBL? I don't know. You would have to do it. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't do it. I think it would be funny. The bad part was you won't be able to work for a while. So I think there's like restrictions around it. But imagine if your butt you know, you had that BB. If I just got like a big bubble butt, it just You imagine walking around. You'd have to like have a I would definitely just stand at work and twerk. But really? You'd probably look at me. No, I wouldn't. Yeah, you wouldn't. You'd probably sexualize about it. I don't think so. I'm not like you. I know you're into guys. I'm not. Really? Unless it's you. Well, that time, yeah, exactly. That time you took advantage of me, so that's the other one. That's the old time took advantage of you. Yeah. You held me down. I had I know what happened. You held me down. You had the taser in one hand. And you said you're gonna take it. I tased you. Yeah. You still have that?

Plumber’s Crack And The BBL Idea

SPEAKER_00 36:10

No, my mom took it from me. Why? Well, she took it when we were what, in 17, 16, 17? Oh, we were 18. 18? Yeah. And she still has it. She won't give it back. Praise the Lord that she took that. That hurt. Did we tell or did we talk about the when I scared you with it? I can't remember because we've talked about this a few times, and I can't remember if we talked about that on the podcast or not. Oh, but yeah. Tara won't go swimming unless I uh got didn't bring the taser. Because I'd taser them all the time. It was funny. And then I put the taser case between my center council and the passenger seat. So he goes to get my truck and he's like, oh, you motherfucking grass for the colour. No, so I dive in for it. And I have the taser in my other hand. I just reach over and I'm like I'm so mad. I was like the damn year went back to the house. I think that was the day my mom took it because I was laughing about it, telling her, like bragging about it. And she's like, you're not gonna have any friends left if you keep that thing. I was so mad about that. I was so mad about that, Derek. Whoop? I can't believe you did that to me. I can't. No, that's not even cool. It's so funny. Really? I'd tase you right now if I had one. Why? Because it's funny. No! What if I tased you? That'd be funny too. Can I pierce your nipples and I hold the taser right up to your nipple? No. Why? You're not piercing your nipple. You can tase me. You'd look good with like tassels hanging from your nipples. Whatever? Yeah. Some like feathers? I mean, they're already always hard. You might as well. Look at those. I don't know if they can see. Yeah, you probably can't see them. Always hard though. Like literally, like you can see them through my pockets anymore. It could be a hundred-degree day. You could be up there nipping. I mean, buddy, you just always turned on or something. And my dad's the same way. Do you like when Randy rubs them? No. Well, I guess I don't know. I don't think she'd never she's never done that. No, she's tried my spot her way. I need to talk to her. She can eat it, like, suck on him or something. A little pung around the rim. No? No. Why? I think you'd be into it. I don't think so. Why? You into eating butt? No, not really. It's more of a like funny thing to say or do. Okay, but hear me out. Who was the person that was probably had their old lady down, bent over, looked at that little chocolate circuit there, and was like, I gotta lick the fucker. Oh man. Wonder who the first guy to eat ass was. Like in history, like that's the stuff I wonder. Did someone eat ass in the 1800s, or was hygiene not good enough until like the 1950s? So this is how I get on tangents. I was thinking about that the other day. I don't know why. But I I think I told Adela. I'm like, I why would someone even want to do that? And then I got to start thinking, I wonder when the first circumcision was. Well, you know something? They started in the late 1800s and they became more popular in the early 1900s. And part of it, I don't understand it. Part of it was from complications with masturbation. That's why they started doing it. Really? In severe cases. So people have so people had a baby, and they thought, oh, I don't want him to have a problem cranking it. Let's get a little bit of skin on him. And then and then it progressively became something about hygiene. See, I always thought it was that like the I don't know what you'd call it, the turtleneck or whatever. It's foreskin. Yeah, or yeah, the foreskin, but like the crevice inside of it. Like I thought that would get infected and stuff. Well, that's part of it. So it's it's the infection, it was stuff to do with masturbation. And there was one other thing. And that's how it started. There was it was rare in the like late the 1800s to have it done. It was like in severe cases they'd do that to you. And then in the early 1900s, it's when it started. Like to really get to be a thing. And then now today, I'm pretty sure you pop out of your parents and they just freaking cut that fucker off. Yeah. Unless you're like Jewish or something. Not nothing against the Jewish buff. I I don't know. You go on these weird tangents. Like

Taser Pranks And Wild History Questions

SPEAKER_00 41:20

last night I was on a weird tangent about nuclear reactors. Is that how we should go? Yeah. I think it is now. Nuclear reactors? I don't see why. Like they have nuclear reactors the size of this house right now. They could power two of our towns. Yeah. Why wouldn't you do that? Especially like for like desolate areas or like or not desolate, but like out west of stuff where you have like a city and then nothing around it. Like why wouldn't you just pop on there and I don't understand it. Because everyone's worried about these like reactor meltdowns and the radiation. But it's like, for instance, you know, I have a few airplanes. Okay. I statistically know you're more likely to get into a car crash than a plane crash. Yeah. It's the same thing with reactors. Like it's so rare for these reactors to like actually have a major catastrophic issue. Yeah. And when everyone holds on to the one time, you know, the few times in history that they've melted down and caused a lot of radiation. I think, I don't know. I you look at the 700 Aether solar field. I don't know, whatever. Solar, what I don't I used to be against them, now I don't really care. Whatever. Okay, but it takes 700 Aether to not even power probably the city. You can have a reactor the size of a 40-foot connex box, and it'll power an entire town. Yeah. I don't know why we wouldn't do that. It's the cleanest form. Yeah, and I think I could be wrong, but like solar panels are only good for what is it like 20 or 30 years? Yeah. Then you have all that material that has to be I mean, I think they can recycle some of it, but some of it's just waste. I I think nuclear is the way we need to move forward. Yeah, and that's an unpopular opinion. But I did a whole research project on that. Like, don't get me started on the nuclear, because that it's it's a no-brainer. It's the cleanest, most efficient energy form out there.

SPEAKER_01 43:42

Why wouldn't we do it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:50

No one's because regulation. It's stupid. We are over-regulated, overtaxed. Think about it. Maybe I will vote for you for president. Think about it. Our forefathers started a whole ass war over a tax on tea. Think about what we pay today for tax and all the stupid stuff we have. Uh-huh. I get we need some of it. Know what piss me off talking about tax stuff? So last night I registered my white truck. And so it's a heavy duty plate, so it expires at the end of the year every year. So I went to renew the registration. It ended in, you know, the first of the year, so I haven't had registration because I haven't drove it. They charge me the full year amount to register it. The full year, yep. Full price. That's how it goes. So yeah, even though I'm only driving it for half a year. Really? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm just saying. Our forefathers

Nuclear Power Taxes And Overregulation

SPEAKER_00 45:00

fought way too hard for us to be going through what we are right now in today's world. I I think we need to start a revolution. Just me and you. Me and you are starting a revolution. I'm good. Lower gas prices, lower health care prices. That's a scan in itself. Are we turning this into a political podcast now? I'm in a political mindset today. I've been fired up about politics the last couple days. Yeah, fill your truck up with gas. Yeah. That's stupid. You know, pretty soon, these semis aren't even gonna be able to drive. Five, six dollars a gallon? There's no profit. Yeah. What's the point? I just shut the truck off and let America crumble. That's what I would do. What? I'm serious. Teach them a lesson. Really? Shut your truck off trying to teach America a lesson. If every truck driver. If every truck driver did it, then yeah. What would we do? We'd have no toilet paper like COVID. Good thing you don't use any. No, I use toilet paper. I use a lot of toilet. Toy Dozen. Really? He's just saying this because he's recorded right now. You don't use toilet paper. That's what I do. Then why wouldn't I use toilet paper? What do I do? You've said you don't. When? You literally talk about it all the time at work. That you try and save money, so you don't you'll like if you shit at home, you'll wait till you get to work to wipe because you're trying to save money. No. That's what you've told us. If anything, I would shit at home, hop to the shower, and then I would save. But I do wipe my ass before that. Speaking of shitting.

Bathroom Emergencies And Hard Lessons

SPEAKER_00 47:11

So I'm bad enough to admit this. What was it? Two years ago, I shit my pants. That was a that was an interesting time. Yeah, I am driving home from that dinner that night. Well, I was with our boss. We got to the work, parked the truck, and now I should have had him open the gate. And I could have just, and he could have thrown me up the door. Crisis averted. Alright, I had a big old shit. But no, I didn't. Because I thought, hmm, I don't want him to know I have to shoot him. He's gonna tease me or something for this. So I waddle into my truck. I get in it, squeeze it really hard, and I'm like, oh, this thing's good. I take up down the road. And now I should have taken the back way home because there's a lot of woods and stuff I could have stuck in the ditch. No, I take the highway home. So I'm like, it's faster to go on the highway. I hurry up and get home and shit. I know more and pull out on the highway and I shit my old pants. And I'm like, oh man. Now, as bad as this thing, it was oddly satisfying. Just to finally let all that weight go. Holy cow. I get home and I waddle in the house. Because it was November, so I felt like naked outside. I just got in the shower, I dropped the drawers, and I just have shit everywhere. So go clean up. Maybe we're getting to this. Did you like use paper towels and stuff first, or did you just get in the shower and let the like shitty liquid water? I tried to use toil paper and I got some of it, okay? I got some of it. It was bad. It was down my legs. It just was bad. So I just fucking I luckily had a shower head on the hobus, and I got down there, and I spraying the back side of me. And it was the part that you know made me most mad about this incident was they were my favorite damn one. And they were not salvageable after that. I think the pants were salvageable. There's a couple drop. I mean, it was like half solid, half liquid. Oh so there's a couple drops on the pants, but they can't clean. Now, the funny part about this story is Darantees me. You're you're whatever age and shitting your pants, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What happened to you? What happened to you six months later? I broke my neck, so I don't have full control of my hands. I don't want to hear that. What happened to you six months later? Pretty much the same thing as out on a land. I know I had to shit. I'm like, ah, I can wait till I get home, or at least stop at the gas station. So I go to leave, and I'm like, ooh. I must find the bumps from the truck or whatever. Like, I really have to go. So I'm driving down the road and there's kind of like a car behind me, and so they turned off. I'm almost at stop side. I'm like, oh, I'll just go up to the stop side and go out in the ditch and take a shit. Pull up, there's a cop city got that stop side or a sheriff, like sitting there. It's kind of an area they sit. So I'm like, oh, better not do that. So I'm like, oh, the gas station's just, I don't know, mile, whatever. So I'm like, I'll be able to make it to there. So I go pull into the gas station. They closed, it was like 9:10, and they closed at 9 o'clock or something. Like they just closed. I'm like, oh my god. And I don't want to go out behind the gas station and shit because they have cameras or whatever. So I keep going. I go to go to the boat landing, and there's a town cop sitting at the boat landing. I'm like, oh, there's a sheriff at the intersection, there's a telecom at the boat landing. So I'm there's a quick trip on the far end of town. So I'm like, okay, I can make it to quick trip. So I'm driving through town and I uh the light turned red, and so I had to clutch it and give my truck's a manual, and that was enough to just lose my concentration. I clutch it and I'm like, uh oh. And then I uh it just came out. I mine was worse than Terry's. I had my work pants on, and I did I took a power washer and just power washed them. I I pulled in the driveway though. I called Remy and I'm like, Remy, don't question it. Bring me underwear and a roll of paper towels. Luckily it was dark, all like pitch black. So I'm just out in the yard, butt ass naked, wiping shit off of my legs and my ass. I put the underwear on that I'm out there, my underwear pressure washing my pants. But I was so tempted to work if we have our uniforms like a therapy or something, we put them in an orange bag for repairs. I was so tempted to just keep them the way they were put in an orange bag and some sorry person after unstuff them. Oh, you're a terrible person. I don't know. I feel like you get in trouble fecal matter like that. And nobody should have to go through that. That is funny as hell. Oh, moral of the story is if you shoot your pants, don't tease anyone because it's gonna happen to you not too long later. And if you have to go find somewhere to go, don't think it can all help. We both failed miserably at it how could that happen to both of us? Talk about that. A guy I golf with, he we're out in the back of like the golf course, so it's a ways to the clubhouse. And he always like, well, your putting your stuff will lift his leg and fart, like whatever, just kind of funny. That one day our way back, he lifts his leg to fart, and his face just kind of like goes like he's like, I'll be back because he pushed a little too hard. I don't know how much came out, but that's funny. That's really funny. I almost said that's on the golf course one day, too. We were on the bath nine, and I went past the glove box to get the back. I'm like, I don't got a shit. Get into the bath, and I'm like, I got a shit. I barely made it. I mean, it was we were within nanoseconds of having a pair of underwork and lost. That is a funny part. Like, think of how many times like you used to weigh your seconds from shitting yourself. Like, you know, you just make it to the toilet. Like, so think if you were another 20 feet further. You know what I mean? Like the horses at work will be way out back. It's uh oh, you've got along. I mean, it's not that long and distance-wise, but when you're back there, it's like or I don't know if you'll get you've had it where you you're way out back and you realize you have to go, so you start booking it to the office, and like if it's during hours when there's customers there, and they'll where do I go? It's like just back up over there, you're like, I have to go, man. Yeah, that happens to me every time when I'm in that situation to be looking at me and it's like just go out. I gotta go. Or over the radio. Hey, help this guy after shit. Yeah, literally. That's how it goes.

Quick Wrap And Get To Work

SPEAKER_00 55:17

Well, I think Derek, that's a pretty high note to end our warning after. You gotta get to the park starved. I don't have that long until I have to get to work. I have to go to work first and grab a brake line so they know what I have to get. Well, it's been fun. It's been real. We'll see how the video turns out. Yeah, I feel like I was wiggling the whole time. I can't sit still. Why? Y'all jacked up on that mountain dew? Yeah. Well, we'll catch you all in the next one. Thanks for watching.