Work Stories And Pranks While Learning The Podcast Grind

One bad decision at work can follow you for weeks, but the worst part is your buddy will remember it forever and bring it up on a microphone. We roll straight from a long shift into a raw, unedited hang where the “how was your day” turns into tool talk and haircut roasting.

The stories bounce through our world: jobsite injuries and instant karma, the weird stuff you find around cars, and the pranks that end up on your truck when you stop paying attention. Then we get real about building a comedy podcast from the ground up, posting video on YouTube, getting clips to land, and why consistency is harder than it looks when you’re tired. We’re also lining up future guests to bring new energy, and we’re trying a listener Q&A so you can steer the chaos.

Somewhere in the middle we talk money mistakes and modern temptations, from a crypto “tip” that goes sideways to the small daily costs like coffee stops and gas station detours. And because we can’t help ourselves, we close with a workplace bathroom saga that’s equal parts disgusting and unforgettable. If you like blue-collar humor, unfiltered work stories, and two friends pushing each other’s buttons, hit play.

Subscribe on your favorite app, share this with a friend who’d get it, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What question do you want us to answer on the next Q&A?

Transcript

Late Start And Fresh Haircut

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Evening, Derek.

SPEAKER_01 0:01

You're still like a second early. I'm still a second early. Yeah. Well, dang it. I still don't have this podcast thing figured out. How are you this evening?

SPEAKER_02 0:11

Pretty good. Had to work a little late, so we'll probably be uh not very lively again.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

Yeah, I'm sorry about that, Derek. I got a cut, a couple cuts on my finger from that. I I'm thankful that you worked late with me. You made it a lot easier.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

Yeah. Got all the right tools instead of using a crescent wrench for everything.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

So we had to do some repairs at org kind of crane. And I love crescent wrenches. That's like the best tool. I think like you can fix almost anything with a crescent wrench. Until you can until it's until you run into a limitation. But if you had a smaller crescent wrench, it'd still work.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

Yeah, I think it's a lot easier to just get the right tools. It is.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

So we're a little late on our re well, we wanted to start recording. But we're here now. And we're not full of life. It's been a rough couple days. You left early yesterday.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

I did not leave early.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Yeah, you I was working.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

I left at what, five o'clock?

SPEAKER_01 1:25

I worked until after six, and you were long on. Nothing golden star. Nothing but taillights as I look out the gate, and you're just gone.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

I did feel bad leaving those uh two little boxes I dumped out.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Yeah, I was wondering. You look a lot different since last time they feel to you. Yeah, but you have more of a life-changing event. Look, take that fucker off. Holy cow. No mop anymore. I was starting to wonder. Clean cut. I'm starting to wonder the way you're working today if you shaved your brain off, too. Oh, fuck you. Losing your mind a little.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

No. No.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

You look good. I'm glad you finally did that.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

It's a once-a-year thing.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

The camera's not gonna break anymore every time it looks at you.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

Uh once-a-year thing. Every spring. You have to wait till the cold weather's done, the snow is done, all that, and then you can.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Does your hair not grow that fast?

SPEAKER_02 2:23

No, that was a year's worth of growing.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Wow. I mean, I've never grown my hair that long, but I need a haircut like every two, three months.

SPEAKER_02 2:33

Yeah, I mean mine will be, you know, whatever length.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

I'm more impressed. You groomed your face and everything.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

Yeah, I went a little shorter than I wanted, but. Why'd you do that? Well, I just tried to shape it up, but you know you grab the wrong guard. Well, I grabbed the biggest guard we had, but it wasn't as long as I thought it was.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

So when I did my face, I meant to keep the appearance like you got. And I didn't have the right guard. And I don't have a guard to keep it that low. So I just started shaving it, and it's not really the look we were going for.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

But at least it does look pretty even this time. Ooh, I just bumped the mic. Yeah, it looks pretty even this time. Usually, you know, you get little.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Well, it's hard when you let this grow so I, you know. I swear it's the hardest thing ever to shave your own face. Yeah. But maybe not to you, but to me it's you're in the mirror, you're you're backwards of what you should be. Actually, the mustache. Try to trim that up with the scissors and a comb.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

Oh, I I don't have an issue with that. My issue is I have like the mirrors that one folds this way and one folds that way. So you can see like the back of your head and stuff. I'll have that to try and like get my neckline perfect. I'm looking in one mirror, I'm trying to figure out which way I have twists or razor. I could never go.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Well, that's my problem though when I'm trimming my mustache, is I'm backwards when I get the one. I think it's this side. And I get over here, it's like trying to hold the scissors and it's yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

I have trouble because I mustache I figured it out got pretty good. At least I think I did. I maybe it looks like chip, but I cut up one way and then down the other. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

That seems to work.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

My mustache fucked up because of that mark in there. You see the bull bald spot? Yeah, a little bit. From that accident a couple years ago.

Work Injuries And Instant Karma

SPEAKER_01 4:21

No, that wasn't the same day that you broke your foot, was it? No. Oh. I don't think so. That is something. You know, last episode we kind of talked about karma a little bit. And not to make fun of people when stuff happens. So he dropped something on his foot one day, and uh I laughed at him because he was gimping around. You know, I mean, your foot was bad. You could see the swelling in your boot.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Through through the boot, I could just feel my boot get tight, and then you could watch the top of the boot rise as my foot swelled. I don't think it actually broke. I think because like two or three days later it was just five. But man, did it hurt that day.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

So I'm laughing at him, and one of our coworkers drops a freaking skid steer fork, one fork off the forks, on my foot, not an hour or two later. And so Derek and I that day were both camping around. And I think the day I I hit myself in the face, I don't think you made fun of me because you knew better.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

I think that was after this. No, because I thought you actually had to go to the hospital, but yeah, it wasn't as bad as it originally looked like. I mean, it had to hurt, but at first it looked like you were like plastic surgery level fucked up.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Well, when it hit me, I was like, it it rocked my brain. And then I'm thinking to myself, oh shit, do I still have all my teeth? I could care less about anything else, but do I still have all my teeth? So I'm with my tongue, I'm feeling around because I like right after it happened. I don't know, I could feel the blood or something in my mouth, so I spit. It was just straight blood. I'm like, oh no, my teeth are gone. And uh feeling all my teeth were there, and you know, I had that fat lip for a little while, but that was the only, and it's got a little scar because it cut it cut the outside and inside of my lip open. Other than the fat lip and a little scar, we made her through it. And I tell you, my lip was fat. Yeah, it looked like I had Botox. And these guys at work would make me laugh every day.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

I'm kind of like trying to keep his lip out, just like breathe it out.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

So he would laugh. Because if I started actually laughing and trying to move my lip, it hurt like a uh son of a gun. Of course, everything that could happen, that's just the most funny thing ever in that time frame happens.

SPEAKER_02 6:53

Yeah, the best was like you already kind of body chuckle when you laugh, but like you would really get it because you couldn't let it out.

Junkyard Finds And Truck Pranks

SPEAKER_01 7:00

Oh, that was bad. I've learned that's why I never made fun of you for breaking your neck too bad. I mean, breathe.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

Didn't we find that we found like a big dildo in a car? I think we found that when you had your uh lip.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

That thing was like, you know, I work whoever used that was uh more of a woman than anyone I know. Working at a junkyard, you find some interesting things in a car. You know, you find some drugs once in a while, and that's whatever, they just get tossed out. But we found a life-size sex dog. You didn't work there. That was before I worked there. And I mean it was life-size, now granted, it didn't have any hair, so it was a bald chick is silicone, and we thought it was just the greatest thing ever. And it looked used. And you know, I you don't know for sure, but it definitely looked used.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

Is that the one you have upstairs? Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

No, we got rid of that. Well, we never figured out what fully happened to it. We thought it got thrown away, but mysteriously disappeared. Remember when I found that prosthetic foot in the junk?

SPEAKER_02 8:07

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

No.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

I'll have to look. Something he did something, our car prep guy put something in my truck or on my truck. And he said I'd find it, but I kind of forgot to look before I left. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

I guess I didn't pay any attention. I don't know. I don't pay attention. I don't like that's why I locked my truck at work. My truck. I've had bras and panties in my truck, hung on my truck. One time I had a dead goose on the hood of my truck. I don't know who put it there. When I get home at work and go to take off, there's a dead goose on the hood. The one time they put uh an American flag receiver thing in my truck, so I had an American flag off the back, and then they bolted it in so good I couldn't get it out by hand. Well, then we get paged out and send my truck. I couldn't get the damn thing out. So here I am driving down the road with the freaking American flag in my truck. I was so pissed. I'm like, I look like such a goofball, this damn thing. Oh god. Yeah, they they took a bolt. They couldn't use like a regular hitch pin or nothing. I'm sure they did that on purpose. Probably. But I'm like, guys, just don't do that to me. That's not cool.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

I was I never heard that story. Really? It must have been long before I started. Can't be that long.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

Yeah, it was it was before you started. I don't know how long before you started, but it was definitely before you started. That's the hard part for me is remembering when you started there and when you did it. You know, in the events. A lot of interesting things have happened.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

I mean, a lot has changed since I've served.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

A lot has changed, yeah. I don't think we should keep talking about it. Our boss won't sponsor this. Yeah. You don't want to be giving no shameless plug. Take that out. Well, one thing about it, we're wearing our uniform shirts, so we got name tags, you know.

SPEAKER_02 10:15

Yeah, so you know which one's who.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Yeah. We're like brothers, look so similar.

Growing The Podcast And Fan Mail

SPEAKER_01 10:21

Well, Derek, how's the podcast doing? You still enjoying this?

SPEAKER_02 10:27

Yeah, it's still fun. It's kind of uh it's one of those things that's one day a week you have to do it. And so you kind of have to keep it in your mind. So otherwise I'll be like, oh, I can't wait to get home, lay down, showery, whatever. And it's like, oh, I have to do a podcast.

SPEAKER_03 10:44

But yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

Other than that, it's pretty fun. We've been getting a decent amount of views, I think.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

Yeah, it's still doing good. Um some of our clips, I figured out to make some decent-ish clips. Some of them are getting some views, couple thousand views. Ain't terrible.

SPEAKER_03 11:02

No.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

Um, we're also talking about bringing on a guest in the near future. Our first guest, then we'll figure it out. You know, every once in a while we'll have someone come and give some new life to the podcast.

SPEAKER_03 11:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

I don't think we'll try and do like a schedule for guests, just kind of when we feel like bringing someone on or if someone wants to.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

Yeah, free ball it. Um, one other thing that was suggested to me about our podcast, and I actually like this idea. It was suggested that we do like a question and answer and put our spin onto like the answers. Like, you know, someone they ask us a question and we give our for like something goofy for an answer.

SPEAKER_03 11:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

So I think we are I think we should start doing that, maybe a couple of an episode. Um gotta figure out how to get a good question sent in. Do we make a Facebook post? Do we try to get people to use the fan mail?

SPEAKER_02 12:04

We could just try and get them to use the fan mail, just because we don't really know how much how well it works or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

You know, and the fan mail is a good way, you you're an anonymous question. So we don't no one knows what you're questioning. You could ask them optimal questions. So in our description on I believe everything, I'm not super great with the technology, so I think it's everywhere that the it's in the description.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Anywhere you want to ask questions, you can ask. And then we'll we'll try and figure out, you know, we'll see them on.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

But primarily the thing, the best thing is we want someone to try it out, anyways. We tried it ourselves, but there's a a link and it says fan mail in our description. And you click on it and it like sends us a text message. So it'll take you into your text messaging app and send us a message. And we want someone to send us some fan mail. That's why it's there. So ask, let's try to get some questions rolled in before the next episode. Uh make them funny, make them serious, whatever. Now, if we do uh get some serious questions and we don't answer them the most seriously, don't take it to heart. We're gonna have fun with it. I think it's a good way to interact and have a little something to yeah, do every podcast. Uh video is going well, I think.

SPEAKER_02 13:26

Yeah, this is only our second one.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

I messed up on the last one, the first one. I didn't realize I had to do certain things. I think I have it figured out now. I just gotta get up early on Thursday mornings and straighten it out.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

So I I hope that works now.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

Because yeah, when did the video actually post last? Noon, one o'clock. Okay, so not terrible.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

That was when I figured out I think I had it on YouTube earlier than that. Um I believe so it'll be on YouTube, Spotify, YouTube and Spotify for sure, and Apple Podcast is uh big maybe. I applied for it. Said it's supposed to take two days. I don't know if it worked or not. I don't know if it's there. I I haven't checked personally. My bad. It's uh so it might work on Apple, but for sure on YouTube and Spotify it'll be on there. And yeah, so we'll have the video. It's just a different thing. No one you don't have to watch the video, perhaps, but it's interesting, you know, if you're trying to touch my

Ring Camera Moment And Nipple Stories

SPEAKER_01 14:30

nipples or something. Yeah. Speaking of nipples, so our first podcast, you come over to the house, and I got a ring camera. And he starts, he he hits it. And next thing you know, his nipple's out of his shirt, and he's going like this. Look at my nipple. And you didn't realize my girlfriend has access to the ring camera.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

Well, she'd only lived here for like what, a day or two days at that point?

SPEAKER_01 14:58

And uh who would have thought? Yeah, so you uh you didn't realize that she got it, she screen recorded it. We'll have that for forever.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

That's probably your spank make right now.

SPEAKER_01 15:11

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Yeah, you have to inform me who who can see your end camera.

SPEAKER_01 15:17

Why? What's so bad? It was just your nipple.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

Yeah, but who knows what I was thinking about doing.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

Really?

SPEAKER_02 15:25

No, I wouldn't do that.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

I will if you will. Really? Huh? Do we have to leave them in or do we just do it and take them all?

SPEAKER_02 15:36

I feel like you have to leave them in. For how long? Like a year. You have to leave them in until I get my next haircut. How about that?

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Oh. Our line of work, I don't think nipple piercings would be that great. Would you imagine getting them stabbed at work?

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

Oh, that would hurt.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Talking about that, we both ripped our nipples off.

unknown 15:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

How many people out there do you know that have ripped your nip ripped their nipples off?

SPEAKER_02 16:04

Well, yeah, I was bodyboarding in uh Florida, and it would like pile driving into the sand and like the wave would. Yeah, I hit the sand, I'm like, oh, my chest hurts. Come up, my nipple just bleeding, and it's like half the skin was probably ripped off. It was like kind of dangling down, so I just held it up until it like the blood hardened or whatever, and my nipple stayed there. It was all fine, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

Oh, I didn't have quite that experience. I was I was with my mom's boyfriend at the time, and he was a lawn care guy, and he had his mower or his trailer parked on the side of the road, and he was mowing, and I was leaned up against it, and the car drove by, and I was pretty young, and it rocked the trailer and it sliced my like nipple off, and it was completely gone. Your nipple will grow back.

unknown 17:00

Huh.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

People don't believe it. My nipples look just fine. I I'd show them, but we might take them out. No. I don't want you to like start sucking on them or something.

SPEAKER_02 17:11

I wouldn't do that.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

But that is the most painful thing ever when your shirts rubbing on your nipples. Ooh.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

I bet. I mean, just raw ni- my nipples are always hard. I think we talked about that last fucking bucket. And like in the summer when my shirts rub these shirts aren't bad, but like when I wear like a cotton shirt, oh those puppies get tender.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

I'm glad my nipples aren't always hard. Your winner always hard through always. People probably wouldn't be able to see it anyways. What'd

Weekend Wrenching And The Stinky Truck

SPEAKER_01 17:45

you do this weekend after work?

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Uh fixed Remy's car and well, her dad pretty much fixed it.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

I he just stood there and watched.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

Yeah, I stood there and watched it helped a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

You're a mechanic cuckled.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

No, I didn't have the press, so you have to press on those wheel bearings.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

Such a good boyfriend.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

You end up getting new ones, or did you take them off a car at work?

SPEAKER_02 18:14

No, I bought a new one. I just got the bearing. That's why I had to have the presses, because I had to press the old one out. Cheap, cheap, cheap. If I put an actual like bearing and steering knuckle assembly in, it would be just as much as the car's worth. Oh. Kind of like my truck where I take parts from the junkyard, because any parts worth more than the truck.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

No, your truck is not even worth that.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

It's not even worth the time stuck into it.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Eh, it's worth that. No.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

Gives me to and from work.

SPEAKER_02 18:49

Really? Yeah. Barely. Does.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

You know what I did this weekend?

SPEAKER_02 18:55

What'd you do?

SPEAKER_01 18:57

I don't want to cut you off. You had something good to say.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

Oh, I was gonna ask you how my truck smelled following me here.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

Oh this guy's truck, he rides on it and it stinks. What's all that oil? It smells like shit. We went to a call the other day, and I'm following him. I'm glad he pulled over for me to get by him because that thing stunk. And it's not very fast.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Uh-uh. It does zero to 60.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

In what, five minutes? It does it. It does it. You got ten cylinders. She just can't do her.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

Only nine of them run out of time.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

Why don't you drive your nice truck? It's registered now. Yeah. I drove it a couple days. It's got AC. Remember how nice that AC felt those kids tier today? I need to check

Crypto Regrets And The Simpsons Tip

SPEAKER_01 20:00

to see how it's doing.

SPEAKER_02 20:03

Oh, what's doing?

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Unos. Uno's holy shit. I am down, Ben. I have $60 in that.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

So our co-worker, Ben, you know, if you're listening, he says the Simpsons recommend investing investing in the crypto Unos. It's a United Nations oil supply. He's like, oh, I'm doing it. The Simpsons never lie. This guy does not invest money really in like the stock market.

SPEAKER_02 20:34

No, I think.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

Yeah, he likes his money and his and his toys. And you know, in in physical items, he likes his money. Well, I'm like, oh man, if this Unos thing can get him investing, I should check it out. God damn. I should have sold. I should have to hold on. So the Simpsons predicted it to one dollar. And it was when I bought it, it was three thousandths. Three three one hundredths of a penny. That's what it was trading for per crypto coin. And it hit almost one cent. So it damn near tripled or more. And I should have sold it when I got up to that high. But I didn't. Simpson said a dollar. So I held it. It is now at, I don't even know, Brazil look. I have $60 in it, and I'm only up, I'm only at $32 in the account. So uh yeah, it's not good. I so never invest in crypto. Because remember the last time I we were going, like everyone should invest in crypto. Yeah. XRP did not do what it said it was gonna do. Or what I was told it was gonna do. No one predicted that. It was supposed to keep going up.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

I think I still have some. I have no idea.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

Oh, I never sold my XRP, but I'm just down bad on pulling it right out. I should have bought one Bitcoin. It was $28,000 a coin, whatever year that was. I had like $30,000 in the bank, and I wanted to buy just a woman. Just to do it. Oh my god, I should have. It went to $100,000, over a hundred thousand for a while. Who would have known? Who would have known? If I would have bought it, it would have gone to $5 a coin.

SPEAKER_02 22:21

Yeah, but it's just you have to sell out when it gets that hundred thousand. You can't hold it and hope for more.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

I probably would have. I would have paid for all my dreams. Not all. Me, you, the sunset, some ice cream, bottle of rum.

SPEAKER_02 22:40

For what, about two weeks?

Off-Color Rumors And Curiosity Talk

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Well, you know, I could put you to work. Put you on a corner, fresh hot BJ's. No. You were just telling me the other day you think you could give a mean blowjob.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

I bet I could if I was a gay guy. You think so? I bet so.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Why? How do you how do you think that you ever watch me eat a hot dog? It's about two bites. That's any food though. Yeah. I I don't think any guy would appreciate you eating it in two bites. It's more like a slow up and down suck. Is it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:17

I I think if I was a gay guy, I could give a mean blow job. I'm not trying it.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

No? Why?

SPEAKER_02 23:26

Because I'm not gay.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

I'm not either. Why'd you look at me like that?

SPEAKER_02 23:33

Oh, you used to shove Q-tips up your ass.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

Okay, okay. That was a rumor. And I played into it.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

I found shit covered Q-tips in your bathroom.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

No, you didn't. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

Maybe I got a picture of Q-tips and Vaseline.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Okay, yeah, that was me playing into the rumor. Yeah, I I set a brand new fresh package of Q-tips on the counter. They might have been open. I found a jar Vaseline in the cover. And I just happened to be next to you. Yeah, I took it. Well no, I set them there. I took a picture on Snapchat and I drew a heart around them. You saved it. You loved it. But have you ever tried it?

SPEAKER_02 24:19

No. Have you?

SPEAKER_01 24:20

No, I'm not gonna tell you. Maybe it feels good. Maybe it doesn't. Go home tonight and try it. Why, you got bad form?

SPEAKER_02 24:36

No, I'm not gonna shelf a QTF up my butt.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

Why would you milk your prostate?

SPEAKER_02 24:41

You milk yours? No, I've never tried that. I don't think I wanted to. Why? In the hospital, when I had to get suppositories and stuff, I did not like anything up my butt. Well, that's a different setting.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

What if you're going at it with your old lady and she just flips a little finger in your curious, man? I'm curious enough, maybe at some point in my life.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

You've said you want to try it.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

I'm curious. I can't know about it.

SPEAKER_02 25:15

I think before you started dating your girlfriend, you said that you would let her shove a finger up your butt. When you first started talking to her.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Yeah, I might have. I did say that. And we were and you told her that, and she holds that against me.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

Oh, she does know that?

SPEAKER_01 25:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:35

Because you told her. So why why are you going back on your word? Why are you backpedaling?

SPEAKER_01 25:41

Because I don't want a finger out my butt. You were all for it before you started dating. No, I'm curious. You're not curious?

SPEAKER_02 25:51

No, not really.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

Everyone I've talked to that's had it done say it's the greatest thing ever.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

You think it's gonna be the greatest thing ever to get a finger shoved off your butt?

SPEAKER_01 25:59

I don't know. I'm too scared to try it. Why don't you try it? Just try it. I'm too scared. If that cut out, I did say it if I tried it.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

All these other guys that tried it and liked it, they're proud of it. They tell you to try it. Why don't you?

SPEAKER_01 26:16

Why don't you try it? Someday. Someday. I'm not doing it. I think Remy should do it to you.

SPEAKER_00 26:27

No.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

If you if Remy does it to you, I'll try it.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

No. Why? I'm not gonna finger out my butt.

unknown 26:36

Why?

SPEAKER_02 26:37

No.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

You've had him up your butt before.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

Yeah, and I didn't like it.

SPEAKER_01 26:41

But it was a different setting.

SPEAKER_02 26:45

I still don't think I'll like it. Can I try? On yourself. No, I've got nice fingers. No.

Marriage For Convenience And Breakfast Betrayal

SPEAKER_01 26:55

You know, speaking of some things, this is kind of off topic, but I'm pretty sure it's Utah. That you can be a Mormon or whatever. Okay. So we should move to Utah. We'll keep our women, but we'll get married to each other. So that way we can have our financials and everything. And we can still be married to our women. Remember, you always you've always wanted to get married to me, just for the convenience of being married to me.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

Yeah, like if me and you were a couple, like with our financial stuff and whatever we could have a house right now.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

But I finally found a way to keep our women from feeling left out. Utah.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:35

You'd be married to multiple people. I don't know if they have same-sex marriage out there.

SPEAKER_02 27:40

Well, maybe you'll have to get the sex change.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

No. You'd make a better woman than me.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

No.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

Why? Oh when you get your BBL, it'll look really nice.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:53

Yeah, but the guy's usually taller, so.

SPEAKER_01 27:55

Oh. I'm a short king. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, maybe I could because I I don't think I'd want to spoon you. I'd be little spoon.

SPEAKER_02 28:07

Yeah. Yeah, you'd be the woman of our elite.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Really?

SPEAKER_02 28:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

I'm not taking in the butt though.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

Well, you'll have a fucking pussy by then, so. That would be scary. I don't think I could do that. Why?

SPEAKER_01 28:23

You would like me as a woman?

SPEAKER_02 28:25

No, I don't think I could uh look at it. I don't think I could look at your face and go to town on that.

SPEAKER_01 28:31

What if I had long hair and uh no mustache and beard and trim my eyebrows?

SPEAKER_02 28:39

No, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 28:40

Some makeup. A lot of makeup. Titty piercings. Sparkling butt blue.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

You sound pretty gay on this. You wanna get titty pierce, you wanna get sex change, you wanna get marry a dude.

SPEAKER_01 28:54

You are the one that's been wanting to get married to me for the longest time.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

No, I've never said want to. I just said imagine if we did.

SPEAKER_01 29:04

That's scary.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

Think of the down payment on a house we could have.

SPEAKER_01 29:09

Yeah. What I was thinking is this needs to go viral. Help us get this viral. We'll make a business, we'll build a house studio on the property and write it all up. You live on one side, I'll live on the other. You live on your property, I'll live on my property, and the middle will be our studio. The tax write-off.

SPEAKER_02 29:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

Right?

SPEAKER_02 29:42

I don't know how it works writing off property and stuff, though.

SPEAKER_01 29:46

Well, the property, the building.

SPEAKER_02 29:48

Well, yeah, the building. You have to appreciate it out, don't you?

SPEAKER_01 29:51

I think so.

SPEAKER_02 29:53

Oh. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

We wanted to build a duplex.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

I'd have to keep the door locked. I wouldn't want you over at my house all the time.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

Why?

SPEAKER_01 30:06

Why? I don't know if I could put up with you all the time like that.

SPEAKER_02 30:09

I'd leave the door open. You could come over for breakfast.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

Oh, you know what? You are the worst friend in history. So he gets to work yesterday and he goes, I have French toast for breakfast. I'm like, oh, that's nice. I thought about bringing you some, but I didn't. I know French toast is your favorite. But I I thought about it, but I didn't. I made four pieces and I was gonna eat two. I don't know how many you ended up eating because I cut it.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

I eat four pieces.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

Yeah. So you know.

SPEAKER_02 30:40

I thought like I made my bacon. I made eggs. I'm like, ah, I can bring a can or piece of French fillets. I'll make four. Because that's how many you can make with one egg. You can't make any more. So I made four. I'm looking like I'm pretty hungry. So I just grabbed the whole stack and went out.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

Mind you, I have an oven can or something next time. Mind you, I've been at work for an hour and a half before you got there. I was there. That's your awful. I was there until eight o'clock the night prior, helping you your day. I was progressing your day in the right direction. And you didn't even bring me breakfast.

SPEAKER_02 31:21

No. Just think you're out there busting your butt to make my day better. I'm just sitting there nice, quiet, and my over easy eggs.

SPEAKER_01 31:33

Scratching your nuts. I love French toast.

SPEAKER_02 31:38

Even put cinnamon sugar in with the eggs and a little maple syrup. It was pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

I'm so mad about that.

SPEAKER_02 31:46

Put a nice gob butter on it.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

You owe me.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

Like I told you, next time I make French toast before work, I'll bring you some.

SPEAKER_01 31:53

That's nice of you. And coffee?

Coffee Economics And Gas Station Temptations

SPEAKER_01 31:55

And coffee. I think you should bring the coffee every day.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

No, because I have to get my own coffee enough.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

I have a hard time making it in the morning.

SPEAKER_02 32:04

I think we need a coffee pot at work. That would be nice. I wish our water at work, like we could drink. I don't know if we can drink it or if we just don't, but probably could. It's kind of rusty. Yeah. I mean we have bottled water, but it's like we should have coffee every time. I feel bad, you know, making coffee with a bottle. I'll drink bottles on bottles of water and not feel bad, but it feels different when you dump four bottles in the coffee bacon and throw all four of those.

SPEAKER_01 32:32

We could just pitch money together and buy a gallon of water, gallon of jugs.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

Or I could just take empty milk carton and fill one up after you.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

You can do that too. You'd have to get there early enough and brew coffee every morning.

SPEAKER_02 32:45

Yeah. Well, I could bring it in, get it set up after work, and then we could have time so it's ready when we can see it.

SPEAKER_01 32:53

Oh, you're thinking. The only problem with coffee is I drink it, and then by the time you get there, I'd have to have a morning shit.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

Then you'd come and have coffee with me, and then we wouldn't get to work.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Yeah, I don't know. I it sounds nice in theory, but I have the weirdest thing.

SPEAKER_02 33:07

If I drink coffee, my first piss after drinking coffee smells like coffee.

SPEAKER_01 33:13

Really?

SPEAKER_02 33:13

You know, old Pia, it's like holy shit. It smells like coffee.

SPEAKER_01 33:18

I used to have a problem. I I love coffee and I can drink it. Now, for a while there I was drinking coffee and I'd piss like I piss a lot as it is. But I was pissing like three times as much. Yeah, it's just annoying.

SPEAKER_02 33:33

I don't get that problem. You don't have to piss a lot, do you? No. I except when I drink coffee, it gets everything moving a lot faster the more. I'll be like at work, I'll drink my coffee if I drink out of the way to work. And it's like as soon as I walk out to the skid suit, it's like everything's moving.

SPEAKER_01 33:54

I have to turn around around and go back in. I coffee is uh uh amazing thing, but it just it doesn't always agree with me. But I'd love to have it every day. So you should start making. Okay. That's your duties.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

I was good for a while, like having coffee every day, but oh I don't need it. Like people need coffee. Yeah. I don't need it.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

I can just go days without having it and then I wish I was like you and could pass the gas station on my way to work. It's probably a good thing that I don't.

SPEAKER_02 34:27

Oh, know how much money I save using gas from work, like the stuff we drink? Not stopping at the gas station, like not so much the gas that I'm not burning or like paying for, but the amount of food and coffee and stuff like that that you don't buy. Because when I'd stop at the gas station, you know, you'd get used to like once twice a week you'd have to stop and get gas. Well, then every time you go in and get stuff, well then you have that on your mind. So, like, oh, you go to the gas station when you don't need gas because you want something for breakfast. I maybe once a month will stop on my way to work and grab something. So, like, I save so much money in that aspect also.

SPEAKER_01 35:13

Talking about gas stations. I can't go to my favorite gas station anymore. There's a pull tab machine. I think cost is enough, but I it calls that meeting.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

I haven't used it since that day. Oh I think it's an honest too. I haven't stopped there, but I know I'm gonna put at least $5 in that kind of a pull tab machine in the gas agent. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

That is a way to get you.

SPEAKER_02 35:40

I wanna know who thought of it. Like, who's like, I bet a pull tab machine would work here.

SPEAKER_01 35:47

Yeah, to me, it's I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

Because like you're not really like standing around in a gas. Because like you don't walk into a bar and like instantly go to the pull tab machine, usually. You know, you're usually like sitting there conversating, oh yeah, let's do some pull tabs, or you're like the it's gotta be selling.

SPEAKER_01 36:06

I think it's just a dirty money scheme. They sell joints, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:11

So I mean joints, and then they have those like big air cell cans or whatever that not or uh for food use only or whatever. It's like, oh, it's it's right on top of the marijuana. Like whip it. I love when we get those at work.

SPEAKER_03 36:30

That guy the other day.

SPEAKER_02 36:33

It was his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend left him in a storage unit. That's what his story was. I have a brain's not left.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

He looked like a fairly normal dude.

SPEAKER_02 36:47

Yeah, I I think he might actually be like he seemed a little off whatever, but he was pretty normal and pretty nice and stuff. Like, usually when we get people that bring a lot of those in, you can tell they're just whacked out of their mind. But I can't believe that's a a form of getting high. Is that like the same as like the things that they'd show you in school? Like if you do the ready whip upside down. I think it's like you just like pretty much lose every like everything and then like get it back and then.

SPEAKER_01 37:18

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's like similar.

SPEAKER_02 37:20

Huh.

SPEAKER_01 37:21

I don't know, I'm not into that.

SPEAKER_02 37:22

Maybe next one we get that has a little bit left, you should try it.

SPEAKER_01 37:26

No. I should grab one of the helium tanks and do helium on the podcast. Hi guys.

SPEAKER_02 37:33

Gabin's say you can get high off helium.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Is that true?

SPEAKER_02 37:36

I've I don't know. I've never got high off helium.

SPEAKER_01 37:40

I don't know. I've never really I don't think you can. I mean, people let their kids do it. Maybe if you did enough with it. Uh maybe. I don't know. Let's try it. Let's get high on helium.

unknown 37:54

Oh, Derek.

Pranks And The Blow-Up Doll Debate

SPEAKER_00 37:55

Derek. Derek. I'm so frustrated with you.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

Why is that? Because you're just you're not treating me like you used to.

SPEAKER_02 38:09

I'm not treating you. Yeah. You're starting to sound like this sounds like a relationship.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

It is. I think it's time to break up.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

Is it?

SPEAKER_01 38:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:19

Okay, I'll leave.

SPEAKER_01 38:21

Really?

SPEAKER_02 38:22

No. You're stuck with me.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

You would destroy what we've created together. I'm ready to leave you behind.

SPEAKER_02 38:31

People are gonna think that we're canceling the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 38:34

No, we're not canceling the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

Podcast canceled, dude.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

Not yet, anyway. I the only thing I could see canceling the podcast is because of him. He'd do it.

SPEAKER_02 38:45

I could definitely see that. Like, just one when they'd be like, huh, I really don't feel like doing this. I want to go hunting.

SPEAKER_01 38:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:52

I want to go fishing.

SPEAKER_01 38:53

So if we ever let you guys down, it's his fault. It's Derek. I'm me. I'm reliable. You're like meh.

SPEAKER_02 39:01

Meh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:03

Meh. Your whole life's kind of meh. Meh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

Can't be in a hurry to do anything.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

Why? You are slow sometimes. Friggin' driving down the road putts along 25 and a 55.

SPEAKER_02 39:19

I go like 55 and a 55. No, you don't. Vice predominators are off in both my trucks. So I think I go I think I'm going 55. So if you're stuck behind me, I apologize. I think I'm going 55. I drive exactly the speed limit unless I'm in a hurry.

SPEAKER_03 39:37

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

You're paying the butt. Yeah? I really want to go look at my truck and see what George did today. I hope it's like a funny bumper sticker. Gabin made it sound like it was like some like fake boobs or something. Like, know those like boob bra things that like make it look like yeah, boobs. Gabin made it sound like it was that, but you said they stick on it. So I don't know if they're like pads, like, you know, like the oh the like glue bras or whatever that I don't know if they're like that.

SPEAKER_01 40:15

Can I can I mural your tailgate and what honk if you're horny?

SPEAKER_02 40:21

Maybe. I have a few ideas what I want to do. Like what? I want to get you know those like giant panties that they sell that are like six feet wide. I want to put a pair on my tailgate, like run the bottom under it, and then that on the side, and then put just married across the back, and then leave a blow-up doll in my passenger seat. Oh, that would be great. I don't know. Today when George is telling me like what he did, I came up with that idea. You gotta do that. You might have to go and buy the blow-up doll. I don't know if I can bring myself to buy a blow-up doll. Why can't you buy a blow-up doll? Because, like, if you show up in a nice trap like yours, at least I don't have like the long hair and whatever, because I'd even be worse. But like, if you show up in a nice trap and buy one, they're like, Yeah, maybe it's for a joke. If you show up in a random V10 and you come limping in, and you're you're looking all over for this thing, limping through the aisles, dragging your foot. You finally find it, throw it up on the cover, then you're like, oh my god, this guy's about to have the time of his life with this thing.

SPEAKER_01 41:34

Okay, you have to buy it now.

SPEAKER_02 41:36

No, I I feel like it would be a lot less suspicion if you bought it. Can I can we ride in your truck together and buy it? Yeah, we could do that. Oh god, I'm gonna get you so good.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

I'm gonna be like, Derek, you using that later tonight? Gotta buy like some lube with it. Speaking of Loopdoll, I can't say his name, I don't think you know him. I don't have to I don't want to put it out there. There was a guy that used to look be around this area, and he we were at a parking lot, uh, he parked next to me. And I walked in by his car, I'm like, what the fuck? I thought he was by himself. He was by himself. There was a damn blow-up doll in his passenger seat dressed. And I was like, what the fuck? It scared the shit out of me. I never seen him after that because he left what he was doing, and I was so glad I I don't know why he had a blow-up doll. He had a girlfriend. That was the part that got me and a girlfriend and a daughter. I'm like, I thought it was one of them, but it I'm like, looking? I'm like, what the fuck? Uh looking, you go to the poster. Yeah, it's a blow-up doll, and it had makeup on it. It was dressed, and I'm like, some people's children.

SPEAKER_02 42:51

Maybe I shouldn't put one in my truck. Well, that sounds creepy now that you're you're talking to someone who actually did it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:59

You gotta do it at least one.

SPEAKER_02 43:01

If you didn't dress it up in stuff, yeah, it was just fair.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

Problem is you'd probably use it. No.

SPEAKER_02 43:09

Why? Oh. Why don't you get one of them real life sex dolls? No. The robot one. I don't need one. Why? I have a girlfriend?

SPEAKER_01 43:24

They're like $3,000. Why why do you know how much you can get? Because when that one came into work, we looked them up because our coworkers were like, oh, I should get one of them. And so we looked them up. They have them in all different you can get white, black, Asian, fat, skinny, all boob sizes, butt size, even change it all. Really? No, they're about three thousand dollars. Yeah, I no. You do a ninja one.

SPEAKER_02 43:58

No.

unknown 43:59

Why?

SPEAKER_02 44:00

I'd do a midget, but not a midget.

SPEAKER_01 44:02

Midgets are sweet. I'm not even talking about women.

Dream Guest And A Wild Live Show

SPEAKER_01 44:05

Midgets are the funniest things. I want an autograph. If there's any midgets watching this, I want you on the show. I want an autograph.

SPEAKER_02 44:13

If we could get a midget on the show, that would be awesome. Like have our own little Wii Man.

SPEAKER_01 44:20

Yeah. Yeah, we just add a third character. Yeah. Alright, we're accepting midget applications. If you're under what?

SPEAKER_02 44:29

No, they have to be actual midget. We don't want a short people.

SPEAKER_01 44:32

No, like an actual midget, like the short arm. Not not knocking any midgets. No. I respect midgets. I think they're the coolest thing ever. I want to be friends with one. The thing that cracks me up is like when you got a guy midget, it's jack.

SPEAKER_02 44:48

This is the greatest thing ever. You should go to midget wrestling. That was Remy and I, one of our first dates, we went to midget wrestling. It was pretty fun to watch. Really? Yeah. The little guys just get after it? Yeah, jump off the like the ropes, you know, as high as that. Us jumping off a six-foot rope and just wham right on someone.

SPEAKER_01 45:12

I need to see that.

SPEAKER_02 45:13

And then midget stripping or midget strippers, that was pretty fun.

SPEAKER_01 45:17

Didn't you say there weren't like actual midgets though?

SPEAKER_02 45:19

The one was like an actual midget, the other was like a dwarf. Like it was normal like proportion and stuff. But she was just short. Okay. But no, the actual midget, she'd like come running down the stage and just jump up and land on people's laps and then you start bouncing. So we were up like on the front, like Sniffer's Rome, just straight across from us. There's just this big old guy wearing a cowboy out, and he's, oh, this is way better than church. He'd start throwing money. Oh, this is way better than church. And yeah, that's all we heard all night. That is great.

SPEAKER_01 45:58

Midgets are just cool. If anyone disagrees, there's something wrong.

SPEAKER_02 46:03

I hope people don't take this like, oh, we're ripping on midges.

SPEAKER_01 46:06

We're not ripping on midgets.

SPEAKER_02 46:08

I mean, like the stuff that like the ones you see on Facebook and stuff, the innovative ways they do stuff because like this world's built for full-size people. Like. I feel bad for them.

SPEAKER_01 46:23

I was like, I loved watching that Cajun guy on TikTok. You ever see him? He has like lifted trucks and stuff. It was so crazy. He has a big lifted, I think it's a dodge, and he gotta get a little ladder caught up in his truck. Not ripping out. It's just they're just the coolest things ever. Not things, they're cool as people.

SPEAKER_02 46:46

Asshole.

SPEAKER_01 46:46

Yeah, I'm sorry. I get all worked up over midgets. They're just I want to shape one's hand, I want an autograph. Could have one sitting right between us. And their input.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

And like I'm sure there's a lot of midgets out there that, like, you know, are just depressed, hate their life because of their like disability or whatever you want to call it.

SPEAKER_03 47:11

I mean, right.

SPEAKER_02 47:12

But like all the ones you see online are like on shows and stuff. They all like embrace it. Like, you know. Oh yeah. Like a wee man kind of attitude. We man is sick. He thinks it's funny. Like he knows that.

unknown 47:26

Right.

SPEAKER_01 47:27

We'd have to rename the show to two and a half guys.

SPEAKER_02 47:33

It already should be one and a half. Why? My left side don't work really. Really? Maybe if we get a midget, we could be the two full guy. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 47:47

Poor midgets. They're gonna think we're mean.

SPEAKER_02 47:52

I have a good feeling that we don't have a midget viewer yet, but if we do in the future.

SPEAKER_01 47:58

There's one that lives in our town.

SPEAKER_02 48:00

Is there?

SPEAKER_01 48:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:02

Seen it. Him or her?

SPEAKER_01 48:05

It was a guy. It's not an aunt. Him? It was a whole family. Really? A wife, a guy, kids? Yep. They're at a local store over Christmas. Adela had to like call me dumb because I wanted to go up and talk to her. I wanted his autograph. Ninjens are just, I don't know, uh the way they live. They're amusing. It'd be a fun little sidekick.

SPEAKER_02 48:35

Yeah, I've always thought it would be fun, like.

SPEAKER_01 48:37

Oh yeah, 100%. You have different views than me, though. Dirty man. No, I'm kidding. Derek's not bad. Derek?

Fart Confessions And The Clogged Toilet

SPEAKER_01 48:50

Derek's a sweetheart. Oh. I can't wait to have Remy on a podcast just so we can learn how much of a sweetheart you really are.

SPEAKER_02 48:57

She'll probably talk about all the bad stuff. Like how I fart. Dude, your farts are absolutely disgusting. So this morning, I always give Remy a kiss goodbye before I go to work.

SPEAKER_03 49:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:09

And she's usually like still pretty sleepy or whatever, like just mumbles, I love you. Well, this morning she was actually awake. She was on her phone and she was like just giving me this death stare. I'm like, hi, honey, let me give her a kiss. She's like, You farted last night. It stoked so bad, it woke me up. Like, I am sorry. Holy dude.

SPEAKER_01 49:33

I've smelled some pretty bad farts from people. I've smelled some pretty bad farts from you. Nothing was as bad as that day we were doing concrete at work. And you were so the quant where we were at is we're in a quantit building, and it's open, it's open where we are, and it's open at the other end. So it's pretty much open air. Like, you know, it's not a confined space. Yeah. He was a gentleman enough and farted outside a ways away from where I was. Walks back over, and it was just the most rotten smell. It followed him, and it it lingered for like 10-15 minutes. It just stunk.

SPEAKER_02 50:15

Like, oh, and you're shit. I when you were talking about that, I wanted to bring that up. It was in the winter because we were slow.

SPEAKER_01 50:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:26

And well, our toilet had been clogged for like what? Almost a week at work, our main toilet. And I was the last person to use it. So people are blaming me. Well, the one guy tried to unclog it, and he took a snake down it, and he thought he was hitting a chew-tin lid. Because he used to work at the school and he said the same like feeling and sound as like when kids used to flush their two-tin lids down. So he thought maybe our one co-worker dropped his chew tin down the toilet or something. No, he could not get a snake through it, whatever. So the one day we're slow, it was really cold out. So we're like, ah, we'll pull the toilet off and try and figure this out. And so I'm the last one to use it. The day I used it, I ate a full pound of beef jerky. We get expired food all the time with junk driver. I think we talked about that, but it was a one-pound piece of beef beef jerky. It was one piece in this package. I ate the whole thing because we were slow that day, also. Went to the bathroom, whatever. Yeah, it didn't go down good, so we knew it was kind of clogged. Well, we get the toilet off, and Tanner's digging at it. He's like, oh, I think it's the wax ring, like the ring that goes on the floor for a toilet made out of wax. He scraping away. No, here that was my shit just stuffed the pipes straight full of it. It was like clay.

SPEAKER_01 51:53

So for context, I I have experience in clogged toilets like this because the apartment I used to live in, the flange coming out of the toilet was messed up. And so if you had a passive shit, it would get really back. I mean, to the point a snake wouldn't unclark it. Derek witnessed it. So you'd have to take the toilet up, scrape it out, nastiest thing ever. So I'm like, I'm well versed in this, I can do it. And we start going, yeah. I'm like, oh, this is the wax ring. Like, how's the wax ring like all up inside the toilet here? And then get a little bit more. That is fucking shit. And it was like clay. Hard clay. I'm scraping hard clay out of the toilet. It was the nastiest thing ever. That's what a pound of beef jerky will do.

SPEAKER_02 52:39

Expired beef jerky.

SPEAKER_00 52:41

That's so bad.

SPEAKER_01 52:45

I think every time that it that that toilet flushes flow at work every sense. Which that's one thing he should have done when we got it. Got the plumbing, is he should have put in like the industrial toilets shoot that shit out of there.

SPEAKER_02 53:02

I mean, you know the guys that work there, like we're not easy on that thing. You destroy that thing.

SPEAKER_01 53:07

You're probably the worst one.

SPEAKER_02 53:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:12

You're plumbing at home work, all right?

SPEAKER_02 53:14

It does.

SPEAKER_01 53:15

I don't know. You have a ratchet. Yes. That's another reason I can ever be gay with you, is because I definitely could not put it in your butt. That thing is I was just disgusting. You imagine when she barked by acting.

SPEAKER_00 53:28

Oh, that's so gross. Oh, that's so gross. Have to pull up real slow so that man doesn't have to spit up.

SPEAKER_02 53:36

That's going back to the toilet thing, though. So there was snow on the ground. And so like we had it out in the snow. Well, we were trying to unclog it, so we had like blue, I don't know if it was liquid plumber or whatever. Let's go the water is blue. So all the snow by the back of the office is either blue or brown. Yeah. Like a big area. And it didn't snow for I don't know, two, three weeks. Like, of course, you know, it snowed every day up till then. Yeah. It was not playing the top.

SPEAKER_01 54:10

I'll never be the same.

SPEAKER_02 54:12

Not again. I know every what you're talking about. Every time that toilet, like it is bad plumbing or something. Like it flushes slow. And every time I'm like, oh, hopefully this doesn't happen again.

SPEAKER_01 54:27

Well, the other day I used it and I did not destroy it. And it doesn't got stupid clogged. I'm like, what the hell? And I plunged and plunged and plunged and it went for. And then the water slowly starts turning down. I flushed it again and it was just fine. Huh. I'm like, what the hell? I plunged and plunged and plunged would not freeze. Oh. I don't know. I hate toilets. I already spent that day scraping out your shit.

SPEAKER_02 55:00

I was so glad. It wasn't until it was like all done and cleaned out. Okay. I was like, why didn't I make you do this? And the whole time I'd just stand there like looking around, like, huh? I'm glad nobody's telling me I have to do this since I clogged it.

SPEAKER_01 55:16

Yeah, it didn't dawn on me until we were done. I was like, we want this shitter back. We're getting again. It's the employee one, you know, and I'm sharing it. At least when you use the employee bathroom, you know what you're sitting on. Yeah. Not that some of the employees are the most hygienic, like yourself, but you know what you're getting into. The customers, you just really don't. And I'm scared of public restrooms.

SPEAKER_02 55:42

So the customer bathroom is the last resort for me. I can only imagine. I wish like there was a way you could like just know what happened in there. Like, right? You know, all these people that there's some pretty shady characters that come in there.

SPEAKER_03 56:02

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 56:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:04

Well,

Raw Recording Style And Next Guests

SPEAKER_01 56:05

little D, I think we're at a decent spot. We're on a high note to end. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 56:10

And uh hopefully we're a little more lively than last year. We apologize. It was five in the morning last time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:17

Every time we start slow, it's Yeah, well, it takes some time to get going and get in the conversation. Yeah. You know? We're not cutting the audio or video at all. It's just completely raw.

SPEAKER_02 56:31

So we literally got done working, came here, sat down. He messed around with the computer a little bit, and then we started. We didn't. We have no, you know, idea what we're talking about, whatever. So it's kind of like.

SPEAKER_01 56:48

Gotta let your convo start. Yeah. Oh, no. Once we get talking, then we probably could keep talking, but we need to save stuff for the next episode. Once we get digging, we find something. Who knows? Maybe next episode we'll have a guest. Maybe we won't. It'd be fun too. Yeah. I want to get your mom on. She's still watching. I don't think she's listened since the first one. I want to get what Raisin Derek was like. That'd be fun. She'd probably be pulling her hair out. Just thinking of it. Having to go having to relive those moments. I won't. Remy would be a fun interview, too. Yeah. Get the true side of Derek. A sweet lover boy. Picking flowers, giving her a kiss. I am a sweet lover boy. You are a sweet guy. I think that's funny. Not to me, but others. Well, that's because you're not sweet to me. I am very sweet to you. Always have been. Yeah. Something like that. Alright, well. Thanks for listening. Yeah, we'll catch you in the next one.