From Cavities To Tonka Toys: A No-Filter Catch-Up

You ever put off something small like a dentist appointment, then build it up in your head until it feels like a financial disaster? We start there, comparing notes on cavities, dental insurance, and the weird relief of learning that “years later” doesn’t always mean “you’re doomed.” From teeth to basic self-maintenance, we keep it practical and honest, because real life is expensive enough without ignoring the stuff you can still fix. 

From there, we jump to another everyday problem that quietly messes with you: night driving. If you’ve got glare, rain, or astigmatism, you already know the feeling of staring into modern headlights and hoping for the best. We talk eye exams, glasses, and why small upgrades can make long drives safer and less tiring, especially when you’re living that blue-collar schedule. 

Then it gets sideways in the best way: permission-to-go-out debates, midget wrestling talk, a drive-through safari where animals steal your feed like pros, and the extremely serious question of whether buying a kangaroo is a terrible idea or the greatest plan ever. We also answer listener questions about relationships, marriage, and kids, including how parenthood changes the “fun stuff” you can justify doing, from monster trucks to trick-or-treating nostalgia. 

We round it out with guy talk on machines and money: mini excavator regrets, cheap parts you can find on Amazon, and the never-ending arguments about truck prices, warranties, and check engine lights. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a laugh, and leave a review so we know what you want us to talk about next.

Transcript

Cold Open And Shop Talk

unknown 0:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 0:00

You're gonna rip on that one. End of me?

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Yeah, and to you.

SPEAKER_04 0:04

Really? Oh well, that's a great way to start this out. How are you today, Derek? Oh, pretty good. Really? Yeah. Didn't have to deal with a single customer today. Wow. Just gotta go on all the shitty loads and go through those. Like shitty loads. Yeah, shitty loads. You had an easy week. You weren't there at yesterday. Well, I had to get my teeth fixed. Five five cavities. Five? Yeah. Five cavities? I'm scared.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

I so I thought it was gonna be a lot worse. Like, I mean, uh, let's see. I was probably 17, 18 last time I went to the dentist.

SPEAKER_04 0:55

So like six five, six years, I don't know, something like that. I think it's been just as long for me. Yeah. Five cavities.

Dentist Fear And Cavity Math

SPEAKER_04 1:07

Your teeth look like they're better than mine though. I don't know. I thought mine were bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Like this one I thought was cracked and stuff, you know. I guess I don't know. They said all my teeth are fine except for those five just had little cavities in it.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

I mean, it was all over. It wasn't one area or whatever. But yeah, I I had like five grand, you know, ready to just sped them.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Like, I know this is gonna come out of my savings, like just expecting it.

SPEAKER_04 1:33

I think it was like $800 to get them fixed, and then insurance and stuff covered. So yeah, it was dirt cheap too. Well, I don't have dental insurance, so I can't, I don't have the luxuries you do. I mean, even at that, the total would have been like $1,200 without insurance. Yeah, I'm just dying. I'm gonna shell that out.

SPEAKER_03 1:53

Fucking you wouldn't spend that on your truck last week.

SPEAKER_04 1:55

Yeah, you think I could spend it again this week? Yeah. Money bags. See, and I should get married to you. He's got that operator money. There ain't no such thing. Pregnant. That that's why they keep the camera from chessed up. You can't see our bellies. I'm pregnant with a baby open. Well I see the trunk. Sure. Oh boy, that's got serious. I didn't expect that. Mom help. Yeah, well, that's good that you got your teeth fixed. I'm gonna bite the bullet eventually and go in. Well, I kind of figured, I mean, I was dreading it, kind of procrastinating on it, but I was like, they're just gonna get worse the longer I wait. The real reason is your girlfriend just made you an appointment, so you don't have to. Well, that was part of it, but I told her like, well, she asked if I wanted her to make an appointment.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

I said, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:54

So my old lady says I gotta go to the dentist too. I do. Some point in time. Oh, I should just go sooner than later.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

Do it in the winter.

SPEAKER_04 3:09

Why?

SPEAKER_00 3:10

I don't know. There's nothing better to do.

SPEAKER_04 3:13

Yeah. That's a long time from now, though. It might get worse by then. Yeah. What if there's just like I brush twice a day though?

SPEAKER_01 3:22

That's they were actually impressed. I was kind of surprised because like when I was younger, I always did a bad job brushing, never flosh. Now I flosh about once a week and brush twice a day. They were like astonished at how clean my teeth were for not coming in that many years.

SPEAKER_04 3:38

So I don't have that good of luck. My teeth are kind of yellow and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Oh, I feel like mine are more yellow

Glasses, Astigmatism, And Night Driving

SPEAKER_00 3:46

than you.

SPEAKER_04 3:46

Really?

SPEAKER_05 3:47

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 3:48

Mine are kind of the other thing I need to do that you did is went to the eye doctor. I should go there as well. Oh, I don't I don't care for my glasses. They're alright, but I just need something for at night. The the the rays. I it does like the stigmatism. I might as well they really help for that. I'm driving at night and there's another vehicle. I might as well just pull over. And if it's raining, I might as well just stay home because it's like pointing in a direction and hoping for the best. I I don't even think getting better headlights would help me for seeing that night. It's just bad all the way around. Granted, I drive a newer truck, so every fucking thing on the thing lights up and bright, and that doesn't help.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

No, I like like my uh V10 air truck.

SPEAKER_04 4:39

It is dark in there. All you can see is pretty much a speedometer at the end. Yeah, that would be nice. That's pretty nice. Mine you can dim it, but every once in a while it forgets to dim itself and then you gotta redo it. Any worth it. It's good to see you. You know, I've seen you all day. Yeah, but you didn't see me yesterday. But I actually don't see you that much through the day. No, you're talking you're up in your high up. Up on my phone, looking down at you. Twirling in circles, looking down at us. Yeah, well, I got I like midgets, and so if I'm way

Strip Club Permission And Wild Ideas

SPEAKER_04 5:12

up there, you look like a midget. Talking about that, what did you get permission to finally do? We're going to the midget strip club. Yeah, so you always well, you didn't always want to go to a strip club, but like I always was trying to get you to go, and you're actually a faithful man. His ex wouldn't let him go to the strip club if you want to. Well, when he broke up with her, I was supposed to bring him to the strip club. Well, that never happened. Then you started dating your girlfriend, and she does not want to go to the strip club, but now she gave you permission to go see the midget. Yeah. That's interesting. We'll have to keep our eye open. I hope a midget wraps its little legs right around your head and takes you to the ground. I do too. I didn't know we had the same dreams. That could be the midget cuck. Yeah. Alright, perfect. When is that? I don't know when the next one is. I think I can't remember if they have midget wrestling coming up or if that was on the set. Hey, midget wrestling would be kind of sweet. Midget wrestling. That was like one where I mean I've first date. Do they get serious about it? Like well, it's like WW, like the fake. People want to watch that. I mean, you're gonna watch a midget. They crawl up to the top rope, which I mean for them that would be like us standing on the roof of a house. Jump off onto each other. Oh, that'd be kind of sweet. Well, you have to do that too. The other thing I want to do is I want to go into that wild animal freaking feeding zoo thing.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Oh, yeah. That that thing's button.

SPEAKER_04 6:51

You're gonna take me there this year. I'm breaking up with you.

SPEAKER_02 6:55

Podcast is over if I've ever seen while we drive through. That'd

Drive-Through Safari Animal Chaos

SPEAKER_02 7:01

be sweet.

SPEAKER_04 7:03

We can make that work.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

That'd be fun. Well, that's I was still in my like neck brace, and my left hand didn't work like at all.

SPEAKER_04 7:09

That like, or the arm didn't really and stuff. So I have the one arm. I'm trying to like keep my cup away from the ostrich. Yeah, the one ostrich.

SPEAKER_03 7:18

Or no, it was a camel, I think. Like right away I walked in, and the camel bit the cup. And we're sitting in the car, and it pulls the cup right out the door. I'm trying to hold on, it's about to rip my hand off. So finally I let go of the cup. The thing all of a sudden sticks its head back in, the cup drops on the floor empty. It knew it knew to throw the cup back in when it was done. And they're like four dollars for a cup of feed. It's not cheap.

SPEAKER_04 7:47

Yeah, you you're gonna take me there. We we have to go. Actually, this weekend when I was on motorcycle and I drove by it. I didn't drive by the actual place, but they have a sign out on the highway for it. Like, oh, I wonder if they'd let me go through on my motorcycle and be out be out in the open with all that stuff. Is it open yet?

SPEAKER_01 8:07

It must be because their signs were up. I mean, it's not like a big billboard, it's just a little, you know, street sign.

SPEAKER_04 8:12

Tell me now, do they have kangaroos?

SPEAKER_01 8:17

I think they do. I can't I can't remember.

SPEAKER_04 8:21

You could win anyone could win my heart over if they got me kangaroos.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

They had a lot of birds, like were the emu or the emus? Emu's and uh ostriches, little emu emu type.

SPEAKER_04 8:35

Yeah, they had a bunch of stuff like that. Okay, those were the most fun because they'd like put their head back and forth and then just wham, peck at you.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

And then they were super aggressive. Like when they'd eat, it wasn't like they just keep their head in the cup and just peck, peck, peck. They would like pull their head back out of the car and then just attack you.

SPEAKER_04 8:55

Boom. Really? Boom.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:57

Okay, you gotta take me there.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

The thing is, you can't drive a nice car because every time they hit your cup, food just goes everywhere.

SPEAKER_04 9:06

Remy's car still has oats and stuff on the floor. You find them every so often. That's the good thing about a V10. Yeah. I almost think though it's more fun in a car because like Remy's car, you sit so low, the camels and stuff, their heads are above the car.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

It's like they'll be standing there and you don't really know what they're doing.

SPEAKER_04 9:25

All of a sudden they stick their head down and then well, Remy's still got the same car, but you can stick that again. But I am telling you.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

We have to do that.

SPEAKER_04 9:35

Well, I'm also telling you a kangaroo for Christmas, so it win

The Kangaroo Purchase Debate

SPEAKER_04 9:38

my heart over forever.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

Oh, if I can afford a kangaroo for Christmas.

SPEAKER_04 9:42

Why? I think aren't they like three grand? I don't know. Just think of kangaroo. I we both gotta think for kangaroos. Mine is growing up.

SPEAKER_03 9:53

Do you think your landlord would let you get a kangaroo?

SPEAKER_04 9:55

No, but I got land. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:58

So you're gonna go out there every night and take care of your kangaroo.

SPEAKER_04 10:01

I can take care of itself.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

Oh, kinda.

SPEAKER_04 10:03

Yeah, it'll just box a chip up down the hatch. I want to see you fight a kangaroo. That was my lifelong dream. That would be now you're handicapped. Oh that kangaroo would definitely kick your ass now.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Probably take advantage of me, violate me.

SPEAKER_04 10:18

Ah, maybe. I did a lot of research on the ruse.

SPEAKER_05 10:23

I want one. We should make it happen.

SPEAKER_04 10:29

In high school, I think, didn't we have a deal that we were was it me, you and Reese were gonna all chip in and get a kangaroo so I could box it. Yeah. I'm willing to buy a kangaroo. How about this? You buy the fencing and the fencing material, and I'll buy the kangaroo. No, the fencing's expensive. Well, it can't be more expensive than a kangaroo. I don't know how big of a fence are you doing. I don't know what a kangaroo needs. I think you should just let it live in your basement. No, I don't want a kangaroo an house. Why? It's gonna be a wild, non-domesticated animal. It's gonna fight. You heard a cock fighting, just think of kangaroo fight. Think of how much money we can make if we trained our kangaroo to fight other people's kangaroos.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Yeah, but how many people actually have kangaroos to fight?

SPEAKER_04 11:20

I'm sure we started it and made it a thing, it could become something. A little under the table. A kangaroo would be the best. Could you imagine?

SPEAKER_02 11:33

What do kangaroos eat? Do they eat hay?

SPEAKER_04 11:37

I mean, you said yours are gonna eat chipmunks and squirrels. Yeah, I don't think they're cargo. I don't think they're cargoes. They might be. Maybe if you made a carboar, it'd be like a bloodthirsty. Could you imagine that a bloodthirsty frickin' kangaroo? That would actually be scary. That sounds like don't like the spoof horror movies that have like the $30,000 budgets and they make an entire movie, and it's just stupid that could be one like the killer kangaroo or something. Alright, I think that's the deal. I don't know what kind of vegetation's in Australia on the land.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

What kind of I'd imagine it's like some kind of sage stuff.

SPEAKER_04 12:13

Don't your brother live there for a while?

SPEAKER_01 12:15

He studied abroad.

SPEAKER_04 12:16

How don't you know this? Oh. Whatever it was, it burns easy because the whole place is on fire when he was there. Okay, well, and it's probably just some grassy stuff. Yeah, plenty of that out of the land. Maybe it could maybe I'd eat that freaking what's it what kind of sh p uh shrubbery. Like pricker bush? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I'd eat all that. Maybe, I don't know. You'll have to Google it. I think we do need to start an exotic animal farm, though.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Be like Joe, what was it? Or Tiger King.

SPEAKER_04 12:52

Yeah, Tiger King. What was his name? Joe Exotic. Joe Exotic, yeah. Yeah, and Carol Baskin's.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

I can see you being like Carol Baskin.

SPEAKER_04 13:04

I've never watched Tiger King. He's a kind of a fruity fella, wasn't he? Yeah, he was like a manly gay.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

Well, he was I think he's bisexual.

SPEAKER_04 13:14

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:16

Like Little Key. I I'd be like a straight version of Joe Exotic. There's nothing straight about you. Yes, there is.

Listener Question About Being Bi

SPEAKER_04 13:24

Oh! You know what I completely forgot about? What? Last episode we were talking about they could send us questions and we'd answer them. So I got a couple of things. I completely forgot. Let me read them off here if I can find them. One was directed more. Two of them are one was directed pretty towards the and I don't fully understand it. It says, Tanner, are you bi curious or bi serious? Now I don't think I'm bi. Never never had the company of another man. I don't think I'd enjoy it. But everyone's a little curious. Aren't they? I'm not curious. They're not curious at all?

SPEAKER_01 14:11

No, I don't.

SPEAKER_04 14:13

I don't think I uh not one bit curious.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

No.

SPEAKER_04 14:19

Really? Why not? You tell them bi serious. No. I'm not by serious. You really want to try this?

SPEAKER_03 14:27

No.

SPEAKER_04 14:28

You do you want to know what it feels like to have the warm embracement of a hug from me? Okay, I am no longer bicurious. I mean, think of our are like cuddling all night, our chest hairs get intertwined in the morning we have to rip each other apart like Belcro. I'm good. I don't want to I'm over it. I don't want to do it no more. No, I just don't see all that would be good. Yeah, I'm good. I really don't. I don't think now with you.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

I feel like you'd want to be the dominant one. Like I can see you getting just like a little scroutty guy and just like making him disappear in your arms.

SPEAKER_04 15:04

You would have to be the dominant guy, too.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

Yeah, I wouldn't try it though. You would.

SPEAKER_04 15:08

I would not try it. I never went through that phase. You were the one on Gay Watch when we were younger. You were scared of women. Smart. You were smart? No. Yeah, maybe. Well. Worked worked instead, made money saving. We got good women. We can't complain.

Marriage Plans And Kids Rules

SPEAKER_04 15:29

Oh yeah. The other one is. Um would like to know if we'd ever get not us getting married, but you know, with our significant others, we would get married or have kids. Did you get married? Uh I'm planning on getting married at some point.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

Except, so the new thing is, so I went motorcycle last weekend. And now I'm getting like my other, my nicer motorcycle, so I can ride it with my fucked up hand. I found a clutch brake lever on the same side thing, so I'm gonna order that.

SPEAKER_04 16:05

But now Remy's new thing is whenever we have kids, she said, I can't ride motorcycle from the time they're born until they're like three years old.

SPEAKER_03 16:12

Oh I'm like, I know I am. So kids is out the door.

SPEAKER_04 16:16

So kids out the door. No, no more kids. I don't know. Oh you probably will just have to sneak the motorcycle out. Yeah, that's fine. Come over and I'll watch your kids for a couple hours while you go riding. Man, I can't believe you want to get you're gonna get married. At some point. I'm not I'm not gonna rush it. I'm surprised it's you she's letting you get away this long. I thought it was no more guns until you got a ring, and then a couple more guns and still no ring, Dick. Remember, you shit all over her shoes in high school. Hey, I haven't bought her heydo before.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

No, this well, I guess this weekend we probably uh I don't know if the flea market will be open. We'll probably have to go to the flea market so I can get her heydo.

SPEAKER_04 17:04

Yeah, that's a good place to go. They're nice and cheap. They are right out your alley. Farm fleet have them for 40 bucks a pair. I think that's actually cheaper than the flea color. Yeah, they only have three different colors, so I didn't get any. They were not good colors. And I hope you have kids someday. I really do. Because I'm gonna turn them into complete menaces. So when they come over to my house and hang out, I'm gonna make sure they're hopped up on sugar.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

But the thing you have to remember is if we both build on the land that we have, they're next door neighbors. So when they come back over to my place, I'll hopped up on sugar.

SPEAKER_02 17:43

I can give them the keys to their four-wheeler, whatever. Yeah, Tanner's yard is looking way too nice. Go to some donuts out there.

SPEAKER_04 17:50

Whoa, whoa, whoa, on the contrary. My yard's never gonna look nice.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

And then if they're my kids, they're gonna have to shit all the time.

SPEAKER_04 17:58

So go over and shit along that tree in Tanner's yard. See, it's a dilemma. It's a dilemma. But I do hope because I do want to make your kids pay for all the hell you put me through. I don't sound like your mom, but you know what, you put me through hell. I myself, that's someday I'll get married, and one kid, maybe two. We decided this, went to Walmart a couple weeks ago, and every person there had three kids. That literally looked like you wanted to pull your hair out. That three kids, I think, is too much.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

That's I think I'd only want two kids.

SPEAKER_04 18:34

Have one. Two would be nice if you had them in kind of close age so they could keep each other entertained. What? People with like three or four. Um I hope I get two boys. Really? I don't care what I get. I probably can't go deep enough for boys. Just make sure she's laying down on you. Do a handstand afterwards. It'll trickle down there to make a boy. Could you imagine if that was actually true? Maybe it is. I guess no one probably really knows.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

I don't think they've ever done studies about it, but we could become scientists and learn. How would we do it? Would we actually like do in-depth research or just do like breed like 80 women and then just you know come at different depths and just see what the results are?

SPEAKER_04 19:27

We don't have to be the test subject. We need data, just we're not test subjects. We can just click data. We can probably pay like someone like a couple dollars apiece, you know, to be I mean, they'd be okay with it.

SPEAKER_05 19:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:44

Could go to like a sperm bank and like, hey, insert the turkey based through a little last and blast and just let us know what happens. Think there. That's so we you gonna go ring shopping anytime soon?

SPEAKER_00 19:59

Oh, are you? I feel like we shouldn't talk about this on the podcast.

SPEAKER_04 20:03

Uh uh, you need to go soon. Can't give away it. What if I was planning on going this weekend? No, you just ruined it. You are not. I'm not better because I'm supposed to go with you. We don't have plans this weekend. Unless you're not gonna bring me, you're gonna do that.

SPEAKER_01 20:20

I have plans this weekend. I have well, they're not in my pocket anymore.

SPEAKER_04 20:22

I have my monster truck tickets. Oh, yeah, you're gonna go to the monster trucks. What kind of are they actual monster trucks? I have no idea.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

I don't know if we'll go to monster trucks or the truck.

SPEAKER_04 20:35

You're gonna go to Monster Jam? Not Monster Jam. Is it okay for us to go to Monster Jam at our age? Oh, enjoy it. That's why you have to have kids so you can do shit like that and just it's for it's for the kid. It's for the kid. I swear it's for the kid. Yeah, I think that's gonna be our thing. Especially if we had boys. Like, yeah, going like when we want to go to the arcade at the bowling alley, just like it.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

It's kind of weird when a 25 year old or what are we now, 23? So yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:10

Yeah, it's weird when a 23-year-old guy goes in there, but a 25-year-old can go in there when he has a kid, so yeah, that's true. Yeah, we'll just we have to have kids at this point. Yeah.

Water Park Trouble And Old Stories

SPEAKER_04 21:19

I was thinking today, remember when we went to the water park and got kicked out?

SPEAKER_01 21:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:25

See, we'd have to have kids to be able to go back and relive that. Because if we went and did that at our age now, we'd look like a bunch of idiots.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Yeah. I mean, we look like idiots then, but we were dumb teenagers.

SPEAKER_04 21:35

I think we were still 18 or 19. I mean, no matter what, whatever, 18 or 19, we're still teenagers, so I mean.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

I feel like when we're older, we'll like live like the growing-ups movie.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

Like, we'll get our kids kicked out of the water park, and they'll be like, Dad, I told you we could just wait in line.

SPEAKER_04 21:58

Oh that's a good story to tell. That day. That was fun. That was. We gotta say that until Remy comes on the podcast. Yeah, because she it was before we were dating, and she was one of the lifeguards that was supposed to kick us out. Yeah, that was fun. Are we allowed back?

SPEAKER_01 22:19

They never, I mean, they didn't like get our picture or anything. They just told us that we had to leave. And it was pretty much like closing, anyways. Like, you know, it was the end of the day.

SPEAKER_04 22:30

That was thanks to Remy though.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

Yeah, she was supposed to kick us out like an hour and a half before, but.

SPEAKER_04 22:35

The one girl said we weren't supposed to come back ever though. Yeah. They didn't get her. I mean, none of them work there. It's all high schoolers that work there, so we should go back. Relive that. That was fun. Too much fun. I want to go to a water park. I haven't been to a water park. I think the last time I went swimming is when you broke your neck and I had to go in the water after you. I used to swim quite a bit. I used to swim every day almost. I probably couldn't even make it five feet no more. I don't I haven't tried like actually actually swimming. I swim a little bit. So like I'm more difficult waiting since I broke my neck.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

I don't know how good I could like tread water and stuff.

SPEAKER_04 23:21

Uh probably not. Well, I don't know. You're kind of surprising. You know what would be actually

Trick-Or-Treating As Grown Men

SPEAKER_04 23:27

fun though when we have kids is trick-or-treating. That that'll be fun.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

That'll give us an excuse, you know.

SPEAKER_04 23:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Because we're too old to trick-or-treat anybody.

SPEAKER_04 23:37

I think it's stupid that it's socially unacceptable for adults to go trick-or-treating like after a certain age. I remember when I was 16, one of the people that I went to, I went trick-or-treating, and it was just for the fun of it. And the one guy's like, he's a teacher of ours. And he's like, I know you're like 16 or older, you got a driver's license. I'm not giving you candy. I'm like, I could be out doing drugs or something right now. I'm out trick-or-treating now and go. But then we went when we were 18.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Yeah, and 19.

SPEAKER_04 24:09

And 19.

SPEAKER_01 24:09

18 was the best.

SPEAKER_04 24:11

18 was the best because we convinced your dad to go with us, and he even dressed up. He uh He had a better costume than us. Yeah, he has like an old man mask that the head's bald, a big scar, and he was our uh caretaker. Yeah, so it's bad to say this, and we're not making fun of anyone, but Derek and I acted like uh some mentally challenged kids. And so that way we made it, we kind of tried to make it okay for us to be out trick-or-treating at 18 and had fun with it. So we'd walk up and trickle tweet, and then his dad would go, they'd ask if he wanted anything, and he'd pretend like he's cracking top of a beer and thinking a drink. A couple people actually offered him a candy. Yeah, that was and it was COVID. Yeah, that's part of why we did it. We're like, no one's gonna be out trick-or-treating. So it was COVID. So, like, we went actually, we were surprised how many houses people were still handing out candy. And there weren't that many people out, but yeah, we got a bunch of candy, and then there was a bunch of places where it was just the bucket outside.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

And some of them even had like take 10 pieces or whatever, I think, just because like you know, nobody was coming and getting their candy, so they bumped it up, but yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:28

We got a lot of candy there. To be honest with you, I didn't even care about the candy that much. It was just an enjoyable time. Yeah. Just to go on and have fun, be stupid a little bit. Then we went the following year when we were 19. That one didn't uh we went to a little bit bigger town and our costumes, we didn't we just kind of spur the moment like, let's do it again. There's a lot of little kids around, more people were out trick-or-treating, and we're kind of just like, yeah, we're done with that. Like having been. Two all our goatees were sticking on the bottom of our mask. Yeah, yeah,

Dad Style And Candy Negotiations

SPEAKER_04 26:03

we progressed into life a little too much. But you know, once we have kids, we can we can hit it hard again.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:11

That would be fun.

SPEAKER_00 26:12

You'll probably go up buying your kid's big and cut it open so he drops candy so you can eat it all.

SPEAKER_04 26:18

Oh, one of my fat. So are you, asshole? I could see you eating all the candy.

SPEAKER_02 26:25

Yeah, I'll I'll tell my kid he has like a peanut allergy or something. You can't eat those Snickers you're allergic to.

SPEAKER_04 26:31

It'll probably be like a candy tag. Well, son, since I took you out, took a drink, you gotta give me a piece for every piece you get, man. You know? It'll be how it'll be. I wonder what you'd be like as a dad. Are you gonna be a strip dad or just a whatever?

SPEAKER_00 26:50

I middle of the road.

SPEAKER_04 26:52

Really? Why?

SPEAKER_00 26:56

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 26:58

I don't want him to turn out like you.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

Well no, I don't want like too strict kind of sucks. You have to have fun and be able to do stupid stuff. Well, like too lenient, you might get a meth header.

SPEAKER_04 27:13

So so when your kid's like 16, can I get them like super drunk and send them home?

SPEAKER_00 27:17

Yeah. Yeah, that's fine.

SPEAKER_04 27:19

Alright.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Well, I got 13, 14, I'll probably don't do it.

SPEAKER_04 27:23

No. I think I got drunk for the first time at like that age. Yeah, look how you turned out. I don't drink anymore. Yeah, you still didn't turn out great. Oh, jeez. Look at how you turned out. You partied hard and now you got a broken neck.

Bathroom Questions Get Too Real

SPEAKER_00 27:42

I can still do everything, though.

SPEAKER_04 27:44

Yeah, some things. Can you wipe with your left hand? I can. Really? Not very good, but I can. Your hand comes up like shit. So you better hope you never do nothing to that, right? Oh yeah, if I meet. Dan guy.

SPEAKER_05 28:01

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

I'd be in the office holding the radio. Hey, Dan, or will you come wipe? I can't get the corner.

SPEAKER_04 28:11

I would not. You couldn't pay me enough money in this world to wipe your ass. That'd probably be absolutely disgusting.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

I think if I ever did anything in my right hand, I just either have to try and wrap a bunch of toilet paper on my right hand and still use it.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Or I think I'd be better off just raw nogging the left hand up in there and then watching it afterwards.

SPEAKER_04 28:35

I don't think the left hand has the dexterity to hold on to toilet paper.

SPEAKER_03 28:40

I mean, I think I could hold on to the toilet paper, but I don't know if I could actually get the toilet paper to wipe where I want it to.

SPEAKER_04 28:47

I think my thumb might take the dirt. You could just shove your finger through it, stick it up there, and then pull it off. That's what my grandpa said they had to do in the military back then. They had the hand type of shit you stuck your finger through and then wipe your finger off as you pull it, pull it away. I don't think that's true. At least I hope not, but we'll leave that for mysteries.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

So now the real question is how does a blind guy know when he's done wiping?

SPEAKER_04 29:18

I don't know, by smell?

SPEAKER_01 29:20

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 29:21

I've never figured it out. I wonder that.

SPEAKER_01 29:25

That and I want to know who came up with like toilet paper that it turns red when you're done wiping.

SPEAKER_04 29:31

Wait, what?

SPEAKER_00 29:32

You didn't know that?

SPEAKER_04 29:33

Oh when you're done with I think you've got a backpacks with hemorrhoids or something. You ever had a hemorrhoid? Never had. Well, just you. Oh fuck. I've got a real hemorrhoid, not even just Derek, man. Not anymore. I gotta take care of it. They make little wipes for that. So what are they? Like, are they just like a little like mugging dingle? I don't know what it actually looks like because I've never spread my cheeks.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 29:57

But I don't know, every once in a while you'll start wiping and you get a little blood or something. Can you like feel a bump down there? Yeah, yeah, you can feel a bump, at least sometimes. And uh yeah, I don't know. Sometimes if they don't go away, you gotta get the hemorrhoid wipes, and when you're done wiping, you or when you wipe, you use a hemorrhoid wipe, and then after a week or so it goes away. Sometimes it goes away on its own. I've been told if you push too hard, which I'm surprised the way you shit don't have a hammer.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

I've always got told like that. Okay, hemorrhagic, like lifting kind of stuff, also people say I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

When I take some of my shits, it's like they don't want to come out and I don't have time to wait, so I just fucking bite my teeth together and push.

SPEAKER_04 30:46

Really? The problem is though, is when you take a shit like that and you've got to push really hard, it's the tiniest little tear down. I know.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

I think I hate when it like you can almost like feel it coming out of your asshole, and it feels like it's just coming out and coming out and coming out like you're like holy fucking, you can feel it moving the whole time, and finally you feel it pinch off, bloop, and it's like, what the hell?

SPEAKER_03 31:10

You look down to the toilet and it's you know that long. And then the next time, the next shit, you're like, oh, that one was tiny. You stand up with fucking two feet like shit in the toilet. Uh no way, I swear that thing just blooped right on me.

SPEAKER_04 31:26

That's what happens every time. If it's a tiny little fucking turd, I am pushing and I'm fucking Jesus in there. And then I'll shit out a freaking snake that line, and it's just and I'm like, fuck, that was easy. The thing that I don't get is why when you eat something spicy, why does it go in spicy and come out even spicy?

SPEAKER_01 31:45

I don't know about that. Maybe the skin's a little more sensitive now.

SPEAKER_04 31:49

Yeah. I ate something spicy the other day, and I fool it came out even spicy.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

Yeah, I ate some Mexican food the other day. It wasn't even hot. And the next day I'm like, holy cow, what I eat. And they're like, oh, I ate Mexican food, but there was no jalapenos in it, nothing, oh I don't understand that.

SPEAKER_04 32:05

Human anatomy's weird. But your butthole is supposed to be sensitive. Ah, enough talking about the buttholes. I feel like we always talk about shit out here. Yeah, well, I think that's just our life. We'll shit a lot. You shit even more.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:23

Like you just dig a giant hole with your uh mini excavator and and uh hole. That's what I wanna do, right?

Outhouse Plans And Garden Arguments

SPEAKER_04 32:32

Speaking of She says we need a toilet in our house. Yeah, you do.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

No.

SPEAKER_04 32:37

Everyone needs a toilet. Outhouse. No.

SPEAKER_02 32:41

Cheaper, no plumbing.

SPEAKER_04 32:43

That's disgusting. What are you gonna do in the winter when it freezes? You gonna go out there with a shit stick and break it up?

SPEAKER_02 32:49

I'll just dig it deep before before winter.

SPEAKER_04 32:51

Yeah, move your outhouse around or why don't you make are you gonna make a compost pile and put a take a bucket and go sprinkle it on your garden? I'm not gonna have a garden. Yeah, you will. Why? You'll have a garden. Why would I want a garden? Oh. Your girlfriend will want a garden. I don't know. Maybe, yeah. The store sells really nice vegetables and stuff. Does it look like I want to be out there picking potatoes in the sunshine?

SPEAKER_00 33:21

Not really.

SPEAKER_04 33:22

Yeah, exactly. It sounds like exercise.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

I don't think you really pick potatoes either. I think you dig them.

SPEAKER_04 33:28

Well, you gotta pick them off, don't you? Oh yeah. Why are you so so complicated on everything? You gonna get your phone out and start Googling it?

SPEAKER_02 33:42

Yeah, do you pick potatoes?

SPEAKER_04 33:44

Yeah, why don't you pull it out? Look it up. Do your phone. Well, look it up. This is this is the shit he does all the time. If he thinks he's right, he's gotta Google it.

SPEAKER_01 33:51

Well, I know you dig potatoes, but I don't think you're really I don't think it's because he's picking.

SPEAKER_04 33:56

He's gotta do this. Anytime he thinks he's right, he's gotta pull out his phone, he's gotta go on Google. Oh, look at see, I am right. Well, I know, like, I guess you kind of have to pick them off like the root system, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:11

AI is stupid, yes. You don't pick them like fruit. You dig or lift.

SPEAKER_04 34:16

Okay, and what do you do once you dig it out of the ground? You have to pick them off the stems. Okay, so we're both right. We're both right. Put it together, you dig them up, and then you pick them up. The only reason you want to grow potatoes is because you don't have them in the excavator anymore to dig

Mini Excavator Reality Check

SPEAKER_04 34:31

them up with. Okay, I'm sorry that I decided to make a terrible investment and you love this frickin' thing. If anyone out there wants to buy an AGT, as long as you don't run heavy equipment every day, like an excavator or something similar, buy one. If you run one, don't buy one because them things are a Chinese piece of jump.

SPEAKER_01 34:54

They're not bad. Once you figure out how to run, you have to do two motions at once. Otherwise it gets too jumpy. Like it's either it's either full or nothing, like the hydraulic movement. So you have to like curl your bucket all the way in and then open it as you boom down. Then it slows everything down. The hydraulic fluids like that.

SPEAKER_04 35:19

Yeah, but once you figure out how to use it, it's not that bad. Well, I'm sorry. I I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

What am I what would I ever do if it just doesn't help that the base is smaller, like the tracks are smaller than that actual, like what's above it. So you're kind of tired.

SPEAKER_04 35:35

We weren't talking about lining it out. We just got it. Well, we talked about buying it, and then I sold you my half.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

Well you insisted I buy it. I was kind of wishy washy back and forth. Tana insists I buy. It's gonna be the greatest thing ever.

SPEAKER_04 35:52

I really watched I watched a lot of TikToks.

SPEAKER_01 35:55

I think it was $1,600 for my half.

SPEAKER_03 35:57

I'm like, screw it. For $1,600 I can own half of an excavator. Like, this is kind of sweet.

SPEAKER_01 36:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:04

In my defense, I watched a lot of TikToks and it worked really nice. It's not bad. It does a lot, but I dug a hole with it. I mean, it wasn't uh anything serious, you know. I mean, I was trying to clear some land for my house eventually. I dug a four foot wide hole and I crawled the excavator down into it because it can only reach so deep, like what, five feet in it? Uh it says five feet. I think you can only make it about three.

SPEAKER_01 36:34

No, I I think when I measured it was like four foot seven inches or something like that.

SPEAKER_04 36:40

Well, anyways, I dig down and then I walk it down into the hole because I wanted to dig deeper. Okay, I get it down there and I can't get the damn thing back out again. So what good is this doing? That was a bad we just got it, unloaded off the trailer. Terry was so scared to unload it off the trailer because it was out too. So the video of it, it looks like it's not that bad. Okay, in my defense. Yeah. I guess that kind of makes out whatever. The video looks not bad. Sitting on that damn thing. It's not like I was gonna roll the front old forwards off the trailer. It probably took me what five minutes to unload like a five-foot ramp. I was nervous as shit.

SPEAKER_01 37:25

Yeah, then I went home to get tools. I I can't remember if we were gonna do something on it or if we wanted to check the oil or change the oil before we had it.

SPEAKER_03 37:36

But yeah, I get home and I get called, uh, are you coming back? Because I had the excavator stuck in a hole. I'm like, how? I've been gone for 20 minutes. Yeah. And then I get back and he, I got it out of the hole.

SPEAKER_04 37:54

I and in the process, I almost flipped it on its side, too. I don't remember what I was doing there, but that damn thing starts to tip, it'll go. You kind of catch yourself. Remember your little yard cart? Yeah. Yeah, remember how I almost smashed it and shit. You did smash the one side to shit? It's still usable. Okay. In my defense, I thought it would be like an excavator and you dump some dirt into a dump truck. You know, that's what we had talk of dirt work, sorry. We were working with what we had. We were gonna move mountains. Junkyard Lawnmower pulling the 80-year-old yard cart. Yep, and the ADT excavator. And we were gonna move mountains as talk of dirt work. It was our side business. Even though we're doing our own work, we're having fun. Well, I'm gonna take the first scoop of dirt and dump it into the yard cart and I smash the shit out of it. No, I it wasn't the first.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

It was like the third.

SPEAKER_04 38:52

Yeah, I smashed the shit out of the side of that thing. Uh the whole process didn't work, anyways, because we couldn't even dump the dirt out of your yard cart. It was too heavy. So then I'm gonna go hire an actual excavating company to do my dirt work. We couldn't get her done with the whole AGT.

SPEAKER_01 39:12

Uh it could get it done, it just might take some time.

SPEAKER_04 39:15

It works pretty good. Like, we'll put manure in piles on one side of the garden. I'll use a blade to push the manure back and forth out of the garden. You can actually push with that damn thing. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

Or like ripping it actually works really good for ripping out stumps. Anything about eight inches in diameter and smaller stumps. You just dig around it, pop all the ruts, and then you can lift the whole thing out.

SPEAKER_04 39:38

I think I'd have been more happy with the JP when it's prung for the little bit more expensive model, the $5,000 unit. It's the AT. Yeah, that's that's more your.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

I think if you actually got like the it's the 18 the smallest one that they put the Kubota diesel in them. I think that would actually be. This one, you got it, you're reaching out in front of you what's your freaking metal box with square corners, and your knees are like shoved into the sides of the box, and then you start bucking.

unknown 40:13

Yeah.

Cheap Parts And Winter Breakdowns

SPEAKER_02 40:14

So you almost have to wear knee pads.

SPEAKER_04 40:16

So for a Chinese guy, you know, they're five foot six and a hundred pounds. But these American guys like Derek and I, that are, you know, five foot ten and up and two hundred and forty plus pounds, they don't fit very well on this tissue. The only thing that was cool about it is everything on it you could buy off Amazon. And everything's right around $200. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

Motor, $200, hydraulic phone, $200. A RAM, $200.

SPEAKER_04 40:48

Yeah. Everything. Everything was like $200. Which that is cool. And the other thing was the damn little freaking like Fisher Price toolbox down here. It had all these tools in there, everything you need to fix that damn thing. It says tools on it. Well, then like it has a little grease gum because it's like a needle type zerk, is what it has. So it has a little grease gum for the little tubes of grease. But they made it too small.

SPEAKER_03 41:20

So the little tubes of grease don't fit in there. So I didn't have the needle grease jerk for a regular grease gun. So I had to shove the grease. I'd scoop it out of the little tube and put it in there, and I just ran it without the tube in there. Did you actually grease that thing?

SPEAKER_04 41:34

Yeah, I've greased it twice. Really? I am very surprised that you did that. You would be surprised. I haven't charged the battery once. Really? Things started up this strength. The damn throttle on that thing's another interesting. In the winter, so the throttle runs like right down through the engine bay.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

Like I think it actually touches the muffler in one spot. Starting to melt. I have to figure that out.

SPEAKER_04 41:59

But so it gets warm, well, all the snow and stuff on it melts down and goes into your throttle cable. Well then And same with your choke. So then you shut it off while all of it has ice in there. So you can't choke it or run your throttle. So you have to take the air filter off, choke it with your hand, let everything warm up for all your lines to pop so you can actually wrap it up and use it. It's a job. Ah, it's yeah, it's a job. I wish we would have bought the skidstier thing instead. I've thought about getting it. So I've read things the skidster's not as jumpy.

SPEAKER_05 42:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 42:36

But if the skidster's as jumpy as that, there's no way you could stay on it. Like, I don't know. Yeah, them things that's the main reason I didn't like the AGTs, because it was so jumpy. I it's just you make a movement and the damn thing would start rocking and kicking, and it was like, yeehow!

SPEAKER_05 42:53

What's good?

SPEAKER_01 42:54

Well, if it had a comfy chair on it, it wouldn't be bad. You're sitting on a lawnmower seat that like the cheapest lawnmower seat. It's like a bad lawnmower seat.

SPEAKER_04 43:07

It's like a lawnmower seat that's been sitting in the sun for 40 years. It's not like bad material or like you know, sun feed it, it's just shit. Yeah. I'm glad I sold you my half of that thing. I do miss getting the opportunity to run a fine piece of machinery like that once in a while. You can come run it whenever you want. Really?

SPEAKER_01 43:30

Oh. That's I don't know. That thing. Everyone talks about how bad child labor is, but once I got that thing, it's like, I don't know, child labor is pretty sweet. You can pick this thing up for 3,200 bucks?

SPEAKER_04 43:41

No way. We got a deal on it though. Yeah. Quite a bit more expensive. I don't know why that guy's doesn't so cheap. Oh, I wish we would have gotten the full attachment kit, though. I got that tilt bucket from work. Really? Yeah, it has a Ram on it so you can angle it different for like digging ditches. I haven't tried it yet, but that would be sweet. I did want the attachment bundle, and maybe if I would have we'd have got that when I was still part owner, I probably wouldn't have sold my calf, but it would have maybe been a little more useful. That that land clearing rate or whatever, that'd be kind of neat. Uh shit out. And I don't know. A lot of better a lot of things I could have spent my money on that route would be

Truck Pricing, Warranties, And Gas Caps

SPEAKER_04 44:29

better.

SPEAKER_00 44:31

You waste a lot of money.

SPEAKER_04 44:33

Yeah. I'm done with that though.

SPEAKER_00 44:36

That sex. I got a lot of good deals.

SPEAKER_04 44:38

I don't. What do you want to buy?

SPEAKER_00 44:41

Your truck?

SPEAKER_04 44:42

No. I don't think it's fair. You won't give me 40,000 for it. You paid 36 for it.

SPEAKER_02 44:48

Okay. Appreciation. Depreciation. Appreciate it. You appreciate your truck?

SPEAKER_04 44:54

Yeah, and last week it was uh inflation. Now you're making Well, it's both. It's appreciation and inflation. They go hand in hand. Oh. Forty nah 36G. 36. But then I'd have to go buy another one. Yeah, there's some pretty nice King Ranches out there. I don't want a King Ranch. You want a massaging seat? You get a platinum. Platinum. I missed my platinum. The thing I missed the most, which we never used it in the truck that I did have that was a platinum, was the movie seat. They had little screens on the back of the seat.

SPEAKER_01 45:36

Did they even work?

SPEAKER_04 45:37

Yeah. I turned them on for Hunter one time. I figured it out. We never used them. We never went anywhere with it because I didn't trust that damn thing to go very far. Oh the NGO is not trustworthy at all. No. Freaking day I traded it off. The radio quit working. The navigation, the map just started going. I was in fucking Connecticut. And I was actually in Wisconsin, but the map said it was in Connecticut. And the radio would turn on and then go, it would go beep and then it would shut off. And then it would turn on and go beep and shut up. And I'm like, God, you know, I gotta trade this thing in today. So by the time we got to the dealership with it, I'm like praying, like, please don't dig it for another test because they drove it the day before. I'm like, alright, let's land on it. Let's get out of here. All I had to do was pick up a check from the bank and head to the dealership. We were good to go. Why? Screwing a dealership over like that. Dealerships are so on everyone. I got screwed probably.

SPEAKER_01 46:44

I think your truck's pretty decent.

SPEAKER_04 46:47

It's alright. I did get a little nervous though. A week into owning my truck, a check engine light came on. I was like, oh fuck. But it's just that the gas cap. Oh, yeah. I don't know why it does it. I guess boards are notorious for it. Because last night. I thought Chevy's were for notorious for it. They must all.

SPEAKER_01 47:07

I think they are. Because last time my check engine light came on when I got home. So I scanned it, and that's what it said it was.

SPEAKER_00 47:14

So I messed with the gas cap a little bit, and yeah, it was fine.

SPEAKER_04 47:18

Yeah, I well, that Chevy has put I had that thing, the check engine light would come and go. It was always the gas cap. Mm-hmm. And things. Who cares about that? If it's not flashing at you, keep driving it.

SPEAKER_01 47:37

My GMC used to flash at me for a random misfire, and I ignored that for 50,000 miles and never had an issue.

SPEAKER_04 47:46

Really? I wouldn't do that with this truck. I got a warranty for a while. Yeah. You know, that's why that's worth 40,000. I got an extended warranty. It would transfer ownership to you. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:02

I don't think that makes it worth more. For what, another 5,000 miles?

SPEAKER_04 48:09

Um yeah. No, it's probably like 30. I think it's like 30,000 more miles. Or how many years? How many years is it otherwise? I don't know. Oh. Shit, it might be up. No, I think it was five year five years, 60,000 miles, something like that. I don't know, it ended up being like a $4,000 warranty.

SPEAKER_00 48:39

But doesn't cover anything that's broke so far.

SPEAKER_04 48:42

Yeah. That's true. It might someday. Might. Yeah. I don't know. Trucks are a pain in the butt. They are. Oh. Well, they're I feel like we're starting to get boring. Yeah, I'm getting tired.

Wrap-Up And Listener Support

SPEAKER_04 49:00

Alright. Well, you know what? This is a good spot to wrap it up. How many minutes did we get in tonight? We're about almost 50 minutes. 40, 50, 50. By the time we sign off, it'll be just all 50. We give them a good old Midwestern goodbye. Yeah. So before we go, keep sending us fan mail, or I'm gonna I'm gonna remember to make a Facebook post this time for questions to ask us. Um I think next time we might have a guest. I don't know. We gotta figure that out.

SPEAKER_01 49:31

Yeah, it's good.

SPEAKER_04 49:34

Depends on the guest. Yeah. Um keep cheering. Keep cheering. That would really help us. Growth has been slow the last week. We were going pretty crazy for a while there, and now it's kind of slowed down. So keep us motivated. Keep making these because he's tired, and uh once he starts getting tired, it's hard to keep him going. Uh so yeah. And it's on and I could be riding motorcycle right now. Really? You don't need to be riding no motorcycle. Yeah, I do. No, you don't. Why do you need to be riding a motorcycle? Maybe I would shoot my guns. No. You don't need to be shooting guns.

SPEAKER_01 50:13

But I spend all my Wednesday nights with you. Yeah, because you love me. Something like that.

SPEAKER_04 50:20

You love me, you know it.