8. Harley Hacks, Pontoon Dreams, And The Grind Of Growing A Show

A poster falls off the wall, the AC barely works, and somehow that turns into a full debate about Harleys, pontoon boats, and what it actually takes to keep a small podcast alive. We’re talking shop like we always do, starting with the real-life chaos of filming a DIY video podcast and why the simplest setup tasks can eat the whole night. If you’ve ever tried to build something, fix something, or just keep a project moving after a long workday, you’ll feel seen. 

Then we get into the fun stuff: weekend stories, backyard mower repairs that definitely aren’t manufacturer-approved, and a deep dive into motorcycle life. We break down Harley modifications, weird control setups, front brake logic, and why some ideas sound “fine” until you picture them at highway speed. After that, it’s summer mode, where we chase the pontoon boat dream and run straight into a classic used-boat headache: title signatures, registration confusion, and the moment you ask yourself if it’s easier to fix it or just buy another one. 

From there we zoom out into podcast growth, content strategy, and the half-serious plan to turn our lives into write-offs with an LLC, more clips, and better consistency. We also tee up listener questions, talk about a supporter t-shirt giveaway, and yes, we deliver a ridiculous breakdown of the difference between shitting your pants and “shitting your butt cheeks.” We even squeeze in vitamins, focus hacks like Neurogum, and a quick religion versus science back-and-forth. 

If you laughed, cringed, or argued out loud, help us out: subscribe, share the show with a friend, leave a review, and drop us a question we should answer next time.

Transcript

Poster Chaos And Workday Banter

SPEAKER_03 0:00

It must be. Start. Shoot. I wasn't ready. How's it going, Derek? Good. How was your day? Good. I I uh got around equipment pretty much all day.

SPEAKER_04 0:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:12

Lazy. I felt like you. I think I think you got dirtier than you. I'm dirtier than you. That's rare.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

I think that's something. Well, my day was going great until I'm not knocking the poster. My lovely girlfriend Adela got this for us.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Um but it definitely could probably take more than two dudes to hang up a poster like that.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

Yeah, I don't know how good the tape shows up in the picture, but it's kind of a hack job.

SPEAKER_04 0:37

Yeah, we gotta iron this out probably in the future. But it wasn't going well for us.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

Yeah, so now we're official. We have a poster with the background. Now we can even look at you can look at two of two of each of us.

SPEAKER_04 0:54

It's backwards.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

Why is it back? You're on your side, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Yeah, but how would you I'm looking at the camera and that's backwards, that's fine. Or the screen.

SPEAKER_04 1:11

I don't get what you're saying.

SPEAKER_02 1:13

I think the finished product, it looks right. It'll it'll look right.

SPEAKER_03 1:16

Don't just do what I said. Okay. It looks backwards on the screen, but oh yeah, because like on the video, you're on the right side. Right?

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Yeah, so it'll be right in the actual video. Alright. Technology's difficult for us. I'm supposed to be the one that knows how to use technology, and and I was more confused than you.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

That's just common sense on technology. Why is it common sense? Look at the camera. You can see it. Yeah, but look at the screen.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

It's backwards from what it's gonna look like.

SPEAKER_03 1:48

Well, I guess I'm looking at the whole picture. I'm looking at what our audience will see.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Yeah, I can't think like that. That's my bad. So you ran equipment all day.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

Sat in the AC.

SPEAKER_03 2:00

Well, only half of it had. You played on your phone. I did not play on my phone much. Not much. Only when you're loading the payloader for us. Oh, okay. You know, I gotta talk to you about the whole AC thing. You sabotage me. My crane hasn't had AC in a while. The condenser was like plugged solid, and I think it's your fault. Why is it my fault?

SPEAKER_02 2:25

You just still want me to have AC and sit in luxury.

SPEAKER_03 2:27

Yeah. Isn't that why we had to fix that crane? So you could have air conditioning. Yeah, but it it works in the morning until about 11 when it starts getting really hot out and then it flows kind of like humid, warm air. Poor tanner. I know, poor tanner. It's always it's a rough life, Derek. You wouldn't understand my life. No. I bet you also complain when your air conditioned seats in your truck don't work. They don't work, actually. At least what I can tell. I'm surprised you haven't got that fixed. I can't afford that. Surprised you don't have the massaging seats by now. I don't think they'd be that nice. Oh. What's it do for massage? Is it kind of like I'm assuming it's like just the little rolly balls? That sounds like something to go wrong very quickly. Not cheap to fix. I've got a whole different outlook on life. I'm cheap. You're cheap. That's why you drive a what is your truck? Lariat? Yeah, it's a leather interior. Why does everyone always throw out the leather, Lariat, like that whole thing? It is the middle of the line trim lump. Uh huh. The dead middle. In fact, it's not even. It's like it has everything but a sunroof. It's lower bottom at this point.

SPEAKER_04 3:49

It has everything but a sunroof. Yeah? Not everything. Oh fuck, you hear a poster comment.

SPEAKER_03 4:02

See how that falls part way too. If you hear a noise, it's our poster.

SPEAKER_04 4:07

It's his fault. Movements. His fault.

SPEAKER_03 4:11

You're the one who was taped it. I just held it up there.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

Okay, and my job's to just tape it. Your job is to make sure it's level and Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_03 4:20

We had to adjust the camera. We had to adjust the camera so it'd be level with the camera.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

To make the poster level, we just had to do the little tilt.

SPEAKER_03 4:32

Well, I think we've talked about the poster enough. My well, how was your weekend? It was a long weekend, Memorial Weekend. Two years since your imminent death day. Yeah. You survived death. I survived it, yeah, yeah. Another two years. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 4:52

You didn't do anything too stupid this week.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

No, you should be proud of me. So I went over to a friend's house canned at their yard and they were doing wheelies on a three-wheeler, and they're trying to get me on the three-wheeler to do wheelies. No, not until next weekend. I at least have to make my two-year anniversary. We have some Brewski's.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

That's what you said when you brought through Met.

SPEAKER_03 5:15

I had a bonfire.

SPEAKER_04 5:17

I had a bonfire. Didn't get hurt. That's the only thing that matters. Didn't get hurt. Did you do anything else? Anything fun?

SPEAKER_03 5:26

Tractor pull. Oh, one watch it. That was fun.

SPEAKER_04 5:31

Yeah, wanna pull your garden tractor? That thing running?

SPEAKER_03 5:35

Ran last year when it was parked. You gotta explain what you did to the blades of that thing. Oh, I just welded them right to the bearings.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:45

Yeah, the bolt stripped out, so it just got the welder out, burnt them on.

SPEAKER_02 5:49

So your weld job wasn't that great.

SPEAKER_03 5:52

They lasted a long time. It took out a lot of trees. Okay, but it didn't hold up to that stake on a prop. Yeah. So we were out mowing our land last was that last year or two years ago. Year and a half. Okay, well.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

And uh Derek's got his mower out there, and uh he gave me a turn on it. And I take off mowing it, bang, chamboom, and it logged up. What the hell? Well, here there was a stake bent over metal stake bent over on our property line. And I ran it over and mowed it, and it broke his blade off. So your welds weren't that good.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

Yeah, then I rewelded it. It lasted until I ran over a rock. So my I think it's a 48-inch mower. Now it's only like a 24 because I only have the one blade on it.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

So why don't you weld the other blade back in?

SPEAKER_03 6:51

Because the bearing's pretty much on. I think the last time I welded, I must have got a little weld in the ball part of the bearing. Yeah, it does it doesn't spin that good. We'll get one in at the junkyard. We get plenty in there, but I just have to pull the one off so I have it so I know exactly too much work. You're just messing my whole schedule up. Tuesday night. Why are we reporting on a Tuesday night and not a Wednesday night? Probably because you have something better to do on Wednesday. No. Okay, maybe I have Harley parts coming tomorrow.

Harley Rebuilds And Sidecar Schemes

SPEAKER_03 7:31

I have to get my bike put back. What are you why are you tearing your Harley apart? And why are you tearing apart? Camp chain tensor.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

Is this your good Harley or the junky one?

SPEAKER_03 7:41

The junky one. And my good Harley's tore apart. I'm waiting for my clutch brake lever. So how does it work? So on my junkie Harley, I just put the clutch on the right side, so my throttle and clutch are on the same. Don't really use the front brakes, I just put a four-wheeler, left side brake, master cylinder on. And so I can hook my hand and pull it if I really need to, but I just never use it. But on my bigger bike, you need the front brake to like, if you're at a stop sign on a hill or stuff, it's too heavy, just hold there. So I found Clictronix is the name of the brand. It's a company out of the United Kingdom, and it's uh has the clutch on the bottom and the brake on top. It's like a little two-finger brake on top of the clutch lever. So it's all in one housing. This doesn't sound like it's gonna go bad at all. No. It's no different than what I'm writing than I have just one finger for the brake. Yeah, but you're gonna have your brake and your clutch and your throttle all the same. Yeah. That sounds like fly a good uh what happened to like the foot thing and didn't you have some other idea? Yeah, I was gonna do a like a jockey shift, foot clutch, hand shift. What happened to that? Yeah. I got it part way put together and it was taking too long, and I'm like, screw it. I don't need a front brake. If I can just flip my clutch over and do that, so I tried it, worked. I haven't seen your bike in a while. I rode to work earlier this year. No, I didn't pay attention. I forgot what it looks like. You got a pretty nice Harley, don't you? Eh, neither of them are super.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

You need a low rider with the bay all eight paintings.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

That's what I had. Well, mine were like 14 inches at like my shoulders.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

You need them way out there.

SPEAKER_03 9:40

When I redid it, I put like kind of drag bars with a slight rise to them. Why do you like Harley so much? Oh. What about they make cool noises.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

I you wouldn't catch me on one of them damn.

SPEAKER_03 9:56

You were gonna get one. Our deal was if I got a Harley, you'd get a Harley. I don't want a Harley. I can buy one, it doesn't mean I have to ride it. I don't know. That was our deal when I got one. You're gonna get one so we could ride together. You used to want a Harley. Now I have to go get a motorcycle endorsement and all that. That doesn't sound like fun. It's not bad. No, I don't want a Harley. It's a weekend class. If you get a sidecar, I'd ride in your sidecar. Before you said you wouldn't ride my sidecar, then you want to talk about it. Okay, I'll I'll make a sidecar. What if I make the sidecar? I don't know. It's gotta be a legit sidecar. Because if you make it, it's gonna be held together by two screws and some bolts. Yeah, but it'll work.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

No, I don't want to be going monkeys down the freeway and the sidecar just takes off. Can you at least add a brake or something?

SPEAKER_03 10:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

We only have one wheel.

SPEAKER_03 10:48

I'll put a nice skid plane on so it doesn't wear through if you fall off. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

Put a brake on it.

SPEAKER_03 10:53

And then I'll throw an anchor in there so you can throw your anchor out.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

Put a brake on the one wheel so that way I can like stop and get a pin or something.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

That's the only way I'd run.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

Should I also connect it with a pin so I can just pull the pin?

SPEAKER_01 11:08

No. Because I think you'd just do it to be stupid, and then I'd end up hurt.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

I wouldn't go over like 25 if I was gonna pull the pin.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

Yeah, 25, and then I have no way to stop. I just go into the trees or something.

SPEAKER_03 11:23

I'll make sure we're by a lake. That wouldn't be cool. That'd be kind of fun.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

Well, I just I as you pull the pin, I'd lean over and give you a shove, knock you over. You'd scratch up your bike.

SPEAKER_03 11:39

That'd be mean.

SPEAKER_04 11:41

Why?

SPEAKER_03 11:42

Make me scratch my bike? Yeah. I can't believe you love the Harley more than you love me. Don't get me shirt on that, because Remy always asked me what I love more. Obviously I love her more.

unknown 11:55

What?

SPEAKER_03 11:55

Allegedly. No obviously. Obviously. Obviously. So if you had to choose between her or the Harley, you'd choose Dird? Yeah. Really? You're just saying that because you're on video right now? No. No. I'd actually choose her. You can always buy another Harley. That answer's changed, Derek. You used to say you loved your Harley more. But no, if she told me it was either her or Harley's, like I couldn't get another Harley. That that would drop her, like, you know, right now I'd love her more, but like if she gave me that like ultimatum, that would kind of that's like a no-go zone. Like, that's off limits. Really? Yeah. Why? Oh. Well, you already told you until you have kids, you gotta like give a craze period. Yeah, I won't do that. No. No. Well, Darren's gonna be on the motorcycle with you. I'll put a little car seat on the back. I think the only law in Wisconsin is the uh passenger has to be able to reach the foot pegs. Well, they never said where the foot pegs have to be, so car seat mountain foot pegs? Yeah, I'll just run them up over the seat and into the car seat. I feel like Remy would not go for that. Probably not, but you I've seen you ride a motorbike and you're quite scary. I'm better now. Really? Since I broke my neck, I was.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

Was that because you're not as able or are you just Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Not as able. So if you if your function came back, you you go back to being a wild man on the pipe? Uh I don't know. I I'd probably not be as stupid as I used to be.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

That's such a lie. I mean, you know, if you're a changed man, you're a changed man. I'm pretty impressed with you.

SPEAKER_03 13:55

You said it yourself, I'm a changed man.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

I I genuinely believe it, but you know, miracles don't always happen, so people can deceive you. You might just be messing with my brain.

SPEAKER_03 14:11

No, you might just be like, I'm a changed man, I got a haircut. What? You got a haircut.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 14:17

A changed man. Me too. Yeah. I know our poster should have updated the picture. Yeah, you doesn't even look like me on there, and I'm not wearing my glasses. You need to start wearing them more often. Yeah. Then I'd have to look at your ugly ass. Why are you so mean to me? I'm nothing but nice to you. You're only nice on camera.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

That is such a I mean sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 14:47

Well, I'm pretty nice to you, I think. Sometimes. Sometimes. Like 50% of the time.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

What am I mean to you?

SPEAKER_03 14:54

When you tell me to work?

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:57

And you say I can't go home all the time?

SPEAKER_02 14:59

Why do we always go back to this? You can't go home when you're halfway through your work shit.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

You're the boss of me, so you have no legitimate reason. And do what?

SPEAKER_03 15:13

Oh. Exactly. Work on my Harley. What are you gonna do when your Harley's done work being work done? Ride it? No.

SPEAKER_04 15:23

You've gotta work. No. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:29

You just can't. I mean, I don't think our podcast is taking off like that anytime soon, so you're gonna have to keep working for a while. I know. If this thing takes off, I'll be road tripping six days a week, come home one day a week, and we make do the podcast. Man, I thought I had the cool eyes there going.

SPEAKER_02 15:50

It's pretty warm today.

SPEAKER_03 15:52

Yeah.

Pontoon Title Trouble And Lake Plans

SPEAKER_02 15:54

You know, speaking of the summertime weather, there is something in your yard we need to get going.

SPEAKER_03 15:59

The pond too? Yeah. Did I not tell you about that? No. It's going back to the junkyard. Why? So I went to register it, and only one of the people signed the title. Only one of the owners. So I can't get a title for it. I'd have to find them and have them sign the title. It wants to say and? Yeah, it says and not or. The stupid thing is there's no spot for them to sign it. There's only one signature on it. And so because they didn't sign it, you can't register it. Can't you register as like a homemade craft or something? I probably I mean I probably could, or I could get like a what have a renewed title, or could try and find them and have them sign it. Oh man, that was like I'm done to get your pontoon working. Because I this weekend I kind of decided I wanted to go pontooning. Then I looked at pontoons on Marketplace and they're kind of cheap. No. No, so yeah, that's a bummer. I wish right away when I got it, I would have tried registering it and stuff, but yeah. Oh, according to online, you don't need to register them unless you're gonna use them. So I'm like, well, there's no sense registering it until I get it working, and then I think you could figure it out. I could. I just don't know if it's worth the headache. Why? You don't want to go pontooning? Because the DMV's open like two days a week and it's when we're at work. I don't think so. Because it's an actual title. It's like your registration goes through the DNR, but your title, I'm pretty sure, is the DMV. Uh maybe it's the DNR. I don't know how you there's no like DNR offices even around here. You'd have to go, I don't know, where they post one. It's probably like an hour. That's not worth it to you? No. Why? Because you can buy shitty pontoons like that one for like a thousand bucks. No, you can't. Yes, you can. I literally scoured the marketplace for at least an hour on Sunday. You were looking at two nice pontoons.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

No, I literally just typed in pontoon and I was looking for anything that was cheap. The cheapest I found was five thousand dollars.

SPEAKER_03 18:21

I found one for less than that.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Okay, we'll find one and we'll go buy one.

unknown 18:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 18:28

Otherwise, we if we don't have a motor, we don't need to register it, we could just put it out on the lake. That's a but we could use oars, just float out like twenty feet, throw the anchor down, sit on it all day.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

That don't sound that fun. Sounds like a lot of work when we want to get back in.

SPEAKER_03 18:48

Turn into a sailboat, a catamaran. Yeah. Why don't we just find a pontoon and go out and go buy a buy a pontoon? Or jet skis. Jetskis, I think, would be more fun.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

Yeah, but there's there's certain things to a pontoon.

SPEAKER_03 19:07

I was so excited I was gonna grill on my pontoon. I was gonna put my flat top grill on top of it, and then put the Weber grill alongside it so I could smoke stuff on the Weber grill, fry up burgers and stuff. Even more of the reason to go get a pontoon. No sweet that would have been going on those lakes like with all the sandbars and stuff. Like your 4th of July, and it's all these people in their Malibu wake boats. Even more reason why we need a pontoon. Could do a podcast from a pontoon.

Write-Off Dreams And Podcast Growth Reality

SPEAKER_03 19:38

That's true. We could write it up. We need to start an LLC to write it up. Yeah, we could write off anything. Do podcast from a side by side, podcast from the Harley.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

Now you're thinking like a businessman with a tax whole tax loopholes.

SPEAKER_03 19:58

Uh-huh. I wonder we could write our clothes off on video. We could probably write our clothes off. Any traveling, we could say we're going to do a podcast something. We just have to we have to get like a bunch of different backgrounds or something. So that way we can always say we did a podcast something else. That's why we have to put miles or whatever to write off. Or like the gas. I wonder if we can get away with that. Just get a green screen.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

Eagle. I could think it. I don't know how to do that though.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

It can't be that hard.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

No, a non-technical person is telling a little bit more technical person it's not that hard.

SPEAKER_03 20:44

You can figure out how to make a podcast posted on all platforms. You figured out how to order a poster with AI Dynamics. That wasn't me. That was her.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

I didn't do that. Well, you made the Yeah, I typed it into ChatGPT and bada bang, bada boom.

SPEAKER_03 21:03

Type in chat GPT. Make a Hawaiian background.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

I'd rather be sitting in Hawaii just have a Hawaiian background.

SPEAKER_03 21:15

We really need the podcast to get going more. We got all these ideas, but we ain't gonna do it as jumping a voice.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Uncle Sam can't think. We need you to follow. We need you to like. We need you to share. Right?

SPEAKER_03 21:38

Yeah. If all you guys just like, share, follow, subscribe.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Yeah, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

Everyone that listens to it. You don't even have to keep listening. Just subscribe and get the notification. So I think subscriptions help, don't they? Yeah, everything. Subscriptions, comments, it all helps. Yeah, then we can. Be in Hawaii or the keys. Go up to Alaska. I know all we can get ourselves out there. I'll email Joe Rogan. He's got the biggest podcast. Yeah. Maybe it's attraction. I'm sure he'll read your email and respond. I bet he will. I bet he will, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

Not Joe Rogan himself. I'm sure he's got uh a person of a person of the person of a person to read someone's email like mine, but you'd probably listen to one of our podcasts and be like, yeah, there's no way I'm letting these guys.

SPEAKER_03 22:32

There is nothing to take away from their podcast. We can maybe get on with like Theo Vaughn or something. He's a little more like a comedian. Not that we're not funny, but you know, we can maybe see where that goes.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:47

We need a manager.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

Anyone listening?

SPEAKER_02 22:49

A social media manager? Because we're not good at managing our show.

SPEAKER_03 22:55

I have not done one thing. You were supposed to talk to our first guest. I didn't know that. We got our mic.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Got I told you to.

SPEAKER_03 23:08

I kind of forgot that we were. Sorry, I last was it last night I asked you if you want to do it tonight instead of Wednesday, so sorry, I forgot. Next week.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

That's okay. I forgot something too.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

What'd you forget?

SPEAKER_02 23:24

I forgot to make clips for the week.

unknown 23:26

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

Last week. You know, try to get more people to listen to us, our shitty podcast.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:33

And I forgot to put out that Facebook post I wanted to put out asking for questions.

SPEAKER_03 23:38

Oh. I forgot. I forgot we were going to do that. We talked about it last year. I think we even talked about it on record. On the podcast. Yeah, we did. And you know, I thought about making the post today, but I figured it'd be too late. No one's gonna look at our Facebook page. No, I don't even look at it. I don't even support our own podcast. Why? I think everyone should, but You're the reason I keep coming back. You're the reason I'm here. Well, this ain't good.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 24:09

I've not given up on the podcast yet.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

Not yet?

SPEAKER_03 24:12

No.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

When are you gonna give up?

SPEAKER_03 24:13

Oh. Episode 20? We'll see how it goes. The problem is is Alright.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

This is a serious note. We started off with a bang. Like it took off like a rock at the start. And now it's been slow. And it's really hard to just like keep coming back.

SPEAKER_03 24:32

But it's been pretty consistent, hasn't it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:35

It's been consistent. But it's like at the start, we got a ton of views, got a ton of listeners, follows. And now it's just kind of like one little, like, it's consistent-ish, you know, but it's just super slow.

SPEAKER_03 24:54

Oh, also, is this our last podcast of the month or is next?

SPEAKER_02 24:59

Um, this will be the last podcast of the month.

SPEAKER_03 25:05

Cause that we have to uh figure out the shirt giveaway thing.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:11

We only have like what three two or three people do it, but so should we do that next podcast? Yeah. Announce it. We can announce it at the end of the month. That way people have another five days to get it on the yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

If anyone wants to get in on a free t-shirt, on our in our description it says support the show. And if you click the five dollar tier, you'll get entered into the drawing for a t-shirt. We'll announce it next episode. We'll draw it before we start recording.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

In fact, there's only three people right now. There's only three people.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

That's okay.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

Yeah, that's fine.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

Technically, we've had four supporters.

unknown 25:51

Four.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

We've had one give cash person.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 25:57

So four. Which it paid for the show for almost a month. Nice. So we're not complaining. We're not trying to get rich.

SPEAKER_03 26:12

No, we just want to grow the show. We want people to listen to us.

SPEAKER_04 26:16

And if they give us input on the show, that's the biggest thing.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

I feel like this episode's kind of boring behind us. Yeah, it's kind of boring.

SPEAKER_04 26:26

What do we want to go into?

SPEAKER_03 26:29

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

No.

SPEAKER_03 26:33

No.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

You're the comedian here.

SPEAKER_03 26:36

I don't I know what I want to talk about, but you said it's off lip. Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:41

I got something we can talk about.

Shitting Your Butt Cheeks Defined

SPEAKER_02 26:43

I don't think have we talked about shitting your butt cheeks?

SPEAKER_03 26:46

I don't know if we have.

SPEAKER_02 26:47

I don't think we have. We definitely talked about shitting our pants.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

We've talked about poop on every single podcast. So we gotta keep this going. What's your favorite thing? I shit my butt cheeks. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:59

So now they're shitting your pants.

SPEAKER_03 27:02

And then they're shading your butt cheeks.

SPEAKER_02 27:04

And this is a completely different thing.

SPEAKER_03 27:08

Totally different. Not even.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

100% different. Alright. What's different about it?

SPEAKER_03 27:13

So shading your pants was obvious. You uh can blow them out, underwear dirty. Even if your pants aren't dirty, but just your underwear dirty, that's considered shitting your pants. What's dirty in your underwear? A little skid mark or like full-on shit? I'd say full on shit. Like what's a skid mark? A skid mark's just a skid mark. I mean. It's it's shitting your pants on like a lighter. Lighter, you know, it's not as severe. You can you can rinse them out quick and the sink throw them back off.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

Alright.

SPEAKER_03 27:47

Look, shit in your pants are done for. It's like I know everyone's done it. Most people won't admit it when you fart and you're like, ooh. Kind of itched a little bit. I've heard no wipe. And you go in and you wipe and you have shit on your toilet paper. But your pants are completely clean. So you didn't shit your pants because your pants are completely clean. But you shit your butt cheeks. You let just that little bit of juice out. How often do you shit your butt cheeks? Uh, it's been a while.

SPEAKER_04 28:19

It's been a while? For a while ago.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

For a while once a week. Uh I don't know once a week. Maybe once a month. Twice a month, maybe. But it hasn't been for a while though, I think. I started watching a little more. I'm not doing great on trying a smaller portion of drill and stuff. But that helps. That helps with shitting your butt check. You know, so I'm not just filling up on.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

How does that help with shitting your butt cheeks?

SPEAKER_03 28:45

Because I'm not full of grease. I have a little solidness to bowl. Yeah, I think everyone shit their butt cheeks at some point or another. If there's people who have shit their butt cheeks and will admit it, and then there's people who just won't admit it. Everyone's done it. Now, this is trademarked. I want to know. I want to know. Remy won't answer the question because she says she's never shit her butt cheeks. But I bet women that wear thong underwear shit their pants more than a person who doesn't. Because when they shit their butt cheeks, it's going right onto the fucking G-string going up the crack.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

Oh, you understand. You know. Could you imagine being a woman with wearing a thong or whatever and shitting your pants? That's hitting your pants.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

Wonder who like splits the fucking. I mean, it looks like a log splinter coming.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

You know, it might be opt to something. That's how you get the little roly double leg. Splitz it. You gotta you gotta shake out one leg and shake out the other. Get the the two halves of the log.

SPEAKER_03 29:49

I don't that's something I don't understand about thongs. Why just a little line? Oh. I think you need to wear one. No. I want Derek to wear a thong to work in the worst. No. Why? You wear one. I will. But my ass doesn't show like yours. You just wear one for your own enjoyment.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

I don't think there'd be anything enjoyable about that.

SPEAKER_03 30:15

I don't think I could work in a thong.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

Why?

SPEAKER_03 30:19

Oh, I hate wedgies, so I mean it's like having a wedgie all day, I'd imagine.

SPEAKER_02 30:23

Probably. Anyway. Shit in your butt. I want to make a shirt. I'd have this shirt.

SPEAKER_03 30:33

Gold Milan. Something about shit in your butt. Like you know, we're gonna get a trademark on that. Yeah. As far as I know, I came up with that. I don't know. Say it about it. Say it. I have a whole list of Derek saying. So yeah, I need to. Well, when we first started our podcast, I kept telling Remy that'll be my like slogan for the podcast. And so when we get famous, Remy will be known as the girl that dates the I shit my buck cheeks guy.

SPEAKER_02 31:10

You got a lot, well, we had a lot of different different t-shirt ideas. That was our first endeavor. We were gonna start an Etsy store and some T-B.

SPEAKER_03 31:20

Another one of my favorites is think of me when you wipe. You love think of me when you wipe. I say it to everyone. But I wonder who actually thinks of you when you wipe. Rabbit says he does, but like every time you say it to me, I get done shitting and I don't think about you. But you definitely get done shitting and wipe. And then you see me and you're like, oh, I was supposed to think of him when I wiped. Well if I moaned a little when I wiped. Is he kind of cute?

SPEAKER_02 31:47

I don't know. None of these are funnier when it came up.

SPEAKER_03 31:51

It works better for women, though. Like, you know, if you tell your buddy think of me on your wife, yeah, they're just diddling their asshole a little bit. Like, woman, she's pretty much rubbing herself, isn't she, after she pisses, like this nice little woo, think of me on your wife.

SPEAKER_04 32:06

Oh, you're poor woman.

SPEAKER_03 32:08

Poor Rebby. She's probably gonna be more embarrassed about this. I can't wait for her to come on. The thing you do to her. Oh. Not even that. Chester. I want to let's show the world Chester. Wait, is it I don't think it's Chester. Oh, it was Chester. No. What is it? Maybe it was Chester. It's Chester. No, I'm not doing Chester okay, but. Oh. No. Do Chester.

SPEAKER_01 32:37

Do Chester.

SPEAKER_03 32:38

No. Do your split personality. No. People have to ask for it. I'm asking for it. No comment. Please, anyone that's listening right now, ask for Chester next episode. I'll do it to Rabbi. Just all of a sudden act like a like I have split personality or whatever. Start talking in a weird voice and like looking over my eyelids or whatever. And then she'll like tell me to stop. I'll keep going. And then all of a sudden I'll just like go back talking normal and act like I don't know what she's doing or talking about.

SPEAKER_02 33:14

There is something not right with you, Edgeing.

Chester Talk And Ed Gein Debate

SPEAKER_03 33:18

Speaking of Edgeing, you're Edgeing's little frickin'. You ought to be, yeah. No, I don't. You said so. No, I said I felt bad for him.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

Why?

SPEAKER_03 33:28

Now don't take this out of context, people. Edgeing did bad things and stuff. But like if you watch the Edgeing series, like the amount of like messed up he was in his head and stuff, he didn't even know what was going on. Like all he needed was someone to take care of him and help him. But he had his psycho mom yelling at him and just Okay, so you don't think sewing a nipple on a chair, he didn't know what he or like a nipple chair, you don't think that was wrong? No, that's messed up and that was wrong. So that mom was okay. Well, like Nothing that he did was okay. Then why do you feel bad for him? Because all he had grown up was a psycho mom and he already was like mentally challenged or whatever. So the world should feel bad for you? Well, not that your mom's psychedelic often, but I'm telling him you said Jesus. Oh, you're mentally challenged. Well, that's rude.

SPEAKER_02 34:24

You're actually the smartest person I know. You that is the funniest thing when I'm here and do student people's lives that you're the smartest person I know.

SPEAKER_03 34:33

They look at you and go no freaking way. You must not know that many people. Why? I'm the smartest one. Actually, your brothers are probably smarter than you. Yeah, they are. Well, really know them that well. What are you gonna say? You were gonna say something. I'm just waiting for your your word. My word? Your word. You have the words of wisdom. Do I? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:01

What are the words of wisdom?

SPEAKER_03 35:03

I don't know. Don't pee into the wind.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

Well, yeah, that would make sense. Have you ever been into the wind?

SPEAKER_03 35:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:14

I thought you were the kid that peed in the snow and then went, oh, mellow yellow flavor is common eighty.

SPEAKER_03 35:20

No.

SPEAKER_01 35:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:24

I tell other kids always mellow yellow flavors. You are the biggest bully I ever met, also. How? You are a big one. I've been nothing but nice to you for the 18 plus years that we've known each other. Really? Yup. There's been many points I've questioned myself, why am I friends with this guy? Because I'm so nice. You're not that nice. Yes, I am.

SPEAKER_02 35:47

No, when you wanna be.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

I think you have a true split personality. There is definitely a nice Derek and an asshole Derek. I'm I'm genuinely a nice guy. I just that's why my sense of humor doesn't always seem the nicest. It's only when I'm doing funny stuff that I mean.

SPEAKER_04 36:12

You're an asshole.

SPEAKER_03 36:13

Whenever I'm being mean, someone's laughing. That is true. You know, but it's not very holy of you to be the way you are.

Faith, Science, Trucks, And Vitamins

SPEAKER_03 36:25

Good thing God's not real. Oh, you're an atheist, huh? There goes half our followers in Carly. Aren't you aren't you confirmed? Uh no. We went to conference. What do you do first communion? Oh. I did first communion and then that was. No, you went to conference. No. My brothers had to. I saw because I hated church. I my mom was done fighting me trying to go to church. Really? I can't believe you're not a religious man. No. I am. I just don't like church. You know why? I guess I don't know. He God might be real. I guess we won't know until we die, right? Yeah. Oh, I figure if he was real, he wouldn't make us suffer on Sundays. He'd let us just enjoy the world on two days off that we get.

SPEAKER_02 37:26

My thing, I'm not saying I'm not a religious man, because I am. But how does science, religion, they butt heads.

SPEAKER_03 37:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:36

And you're a scientific man.

SPEAKER_03 37:39

Remember I believe a lot more in science then. Remember science when we built your S10? Science. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 37:47

Remember your S10 when we built it?

SPEAKER_03 37:49

Yeah, with the what was it? C D D. C D wheels. Yeah. What was it? It was power or rubber band powered. Yeah, rubber band powered S10. S10s are sweet. I kind of miss S10s. I'm super duties. Super Dudies are way better. Super duties are better. The only thing that can carry your fat ass are on, too. Oh fuck you. That's why I drive super. I bet you I was gonna say, I bet you eat just as much as me right now. That's why I drive one also. I'm surprised you don't have F-350.

SPEAKER_04 38:28

Oh damn, that is the full blood. I can't afford an F-350.

SPEAKER_03 38:38

I like the same price. Isn't it yours an F350? No. Well, it's crew cab longbeds, so they made me put heavy duty plates on it. That was stupid.

SPEAKER_01 38:55

How much is it to register?

SPEAKER_03 38:57

I don't even remember. I think it's like 170 years. I think it's like 170 years or something. Are you see now? Why? You gotta take daily vitamins. Helps remember. Does it? I've been taking it for two whole days and I can remember everything. Really? Yeah. One a day. One vitamin. One a day for men's. Men's one a day, I think what's yeah. That's what's what vitamin is it? I don't know, it's got everything in it. A, B, C, D. Yeah, got them all. The whole alphabet. Whole alphabet. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:35

You're telling you you need to take them.

SPEAKER_03 39:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

I'm on this vitamin thing because I could go to bed at night and wake up in the morning just as tired.

SPEAKER_03 39:45

I'm trying vitamins. Okay. I don't understand the whole vitamin thing. Like, don't you get all your vitamins from like the food you eat or stuff? Well, you're supposed to, but not all the time.

SPEAKER_02 39:58

What I don't understand is how can we have iron in our body?

SPEAKER_03 40:03

We barely have extra. No, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_04 40:07

You would think so, but no.

SPEAKER_03 40:11

But like, that's an element. Not a vitamin. Isn't like everything made out of elements? I don't know. I don't know I'm supposed to be the smart one, no. You're making me look up no.

SPEAKER_01 40:24

Yeah. I don't know. Because you're going for your phone. He's going for his periodic table. It's an element.

SPEAKER_03 40:32

We need an assistant, too. An assistant. Not just for the Monica Lewinsky stuff, but for like looking stuff up when we need it. Okay, here. The element table. Got iron. Well, I guess we're wondering every is everything. Is every vitamin an element?

SPEAKER_02 40:55

Isn't technically everything an element if you really think about it? In a deep down level, it's all elements, but I guess you'd be right around the belt way.

SPEAKER_03 41:07

Yeah, because like water is H. Yeah. So like everything's made out of elements. Iron has own spot on the periodic table. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:22

Every vitamin is made out of elements. So yeah, they're made.

SPEAKER_03 41:32

See, this is the same. All vitamins are made from carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen.

SPEAKER_02 41:37

This is why he's the smartest person. Them gears are just as spinning there now, and they're going, you haven't thought that hard in a while.

SPEAKER_03 41:45

Yeah. Oh, I didn't like science. I like math more. Why? That's done the same way.

SPEAKER_04 41:53

I hated science with a passion.

SPEAKER_03 41:55

I guess most of the stuff you figure out in science is like, why do we need to know this? Like, you know, if you're don't if you're not feeling good. Hi, Bert. If you're not feeling good and you haven't ate a steak in a while, you're probably low on iron or something. Oh. Or like. You've been shitting like liquid. I think there's steaks there's stage. Is there? Are you having steak tonight?

SPEAKER_04 42:25

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 42:29

I'm having steak tomorrow night. Tombsteak? You would like tombsteak. Monica will win to you.

SPEAKER_02 42:42

It's on camera. He just offered. I don't accept.

SPEAKER_03 42:46

Yeah, except you're the one who uh on camera said that you're bi curious. Forever that's. Probably. We should probably report to H car. Who's our H car? Oh. So we need an assistant, a manager, an H car. I think if we hire all these people and like, you know, pay them like 30,000 a year or something. Can't pay too much, but like that has to be minimum wage at least. Yeah? Well, like 30,000 a year. If we pay them all and get all those people, it'll automatically take off. You think so? Yeah, I think that would be the key.

SPEAKER_02 43:29

Alright, so anyone out there in the podcast land or looking for an HR person, a manager, and an assistant.

SPEAKER_03 43:36

And social media, I thought we need. Or is that a good idea? Oh, yeah, we need a well, that'd be kind of marketing. Marketing. Marketing, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:43

So we got four jobs. It's $120,000. I think if we combine both of our salaries, we'd be just about covered that. We better hope it takes off at that point.

SPEAKER_03 43:56

Just send it. Just send it everything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:59

Should we get rid of

SPEAKER_03 44:01

Might as well. We're gonna just go on this dream box. We couldn't pay them if we put in our two weeks. We need our jobs to pay them.

SPEAKER_01 44:11

Alright, you work the street corner.

SPEAKER_03 44:14

I'll probably owe money by the end of the week. No, people will pay you to get away.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

That is true.

SPEAKER_03 44:24

Would I give good fresh hot BJs? No, I would. I think we talked about this last time. Yeah, we did. That I had to give a nasty blow job house woman. I just had an idea to bring up and now I completely forgot because I thought you were taking those vitamins. Yeah. I've only been taking it. Don't forget your vitamins tonight. Only taking them for two days. It's gonna take longer than that to work. We had to try like narrow gum or something. My memory is like Nerrow gum? Yeah. You ever heard of that? No. Get out of your turtle shell. Narrow gum. Neurologum. Does it just like gum that's supposed to help your brain? Huh. Yeah, it is. Look it up.

SPEAKER_02 45:12

Make believe assistant. Look up neurogum, dare. Don't believe me.

SPEAKER_03 45:15

Okay, well look up neurologum.

SPEAKER_02 45:17

Neurogum's an actual thing. We're not sponsored. On podcasts are.

SPEAKER_03 45:23

Near oh. Neurologum. Gum. Right there. Look at that. Okay, AI overview. Neurogum is a popular no tropic something. Well, chewing gum infused with natural caffeine. So it's just caffeine gum? Yeah, it helps you focus. Well, why don't you just drink coffee? No. I just drink coffee. That's only in the mornings, though. No, sometimes I drink coffee. Just constantly chewing. That does not help me concentrate, though. Why? Because I'm scattered brain as is, and then I have some caffeine. Why are you a scatter brain? Oh, I can't. I must have like ADD or something. I can't see it. Or actually pretty bad.

SPEAKER_02 46:14

Like asking you to go do something? Like if it's not the day out. I'm surprised they texted me last night and asked if I wanted to podcast the date. Surprised it wasn't like a this morning thing, and then you forget.

SPEAKER_03 46:28

I hate and ask me at the end of the day. I hate like people who have calendars and stuff. Like Remy Lowies, you know, well, what are we doing on this? Like, hey, I don't know. That's two months away. That's a month away. Like, I I don't have a clue. Well, also, you I must be getting better at this. Because I have to talk to you about September when you're gonna be gone. Because I have a dentist appointment in September. Okay. If it's like the same time you're gonna be gone. Well, it'll be at the end of September. Okay. When's your dentist appointment? I'll have to look, but I think like the 16th or so. I'll be okay. Why? Is it on a Wednesday? We'll have to that's a long was away, Derek. Yeah, that's why you should be proud of me that I thought of it even. Remy probably told you to. She's probably like forcing you to remember this stuff.

SPEAKER_00 47:19

No.

SPEAKER_03 47:21

Probably means like flashcards. That way you can always remember stuff. If the if it's an important enough thing, I remember the days. Like my dad does. Like I I remember that. Well, I remember about don't ever remember anything. Maybe the stuff I do with you just isn't important enough. So to you. To me. I remembered when we were going to go on our fishing trip, I remembered what days those were.

SPEAKER_02 47:50

Yeah. But I'm not important to you, that's all I heard.

SPEAKER_03 47:54

Uh oh. Now you're sounding like a Walmart. Yeah. Just take my words and twist them, even though that's pretty much what I sat at the button. I don't know why I can continue. Put up with you all these years. I think you're gonna be the one that ends a podcast. You're not gonna be able to put up with me anymore.

SPEAKER_02 48:12

Oh, I I enjoy it. Enjoy it. I just want that growth.

Questions Plan And Final Push

SPEAKER_03 48:17

So remember like, share, subscribe, comment. Comment, tell a friend.

SPEAKER_02 48:25

I know we suck, but at least we get some entertainment out of it. At least that's what I've been told.

SPEAKER_03 48:32

Oh, you know, all platforms, and also on Facebook, keep an eye out for the questions. Would be fun.

SPEAKER_02 48:40

Yeah, so leave us some questions. Like we talked last time, but I guess I forgot that. I'm on this I'm on the lighting is down and we'll get it ironed up. I'll make the post tonight. Right after we're done with this.

SPEAKER_01 48:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 48:52

And next time we're here, we'll hopefully have some questions.

SPEAKER_03 48:57

And it will answer some silly, serious who knows questions. Okay. Okay. I think that's a good time for us. Okay. Alright. Like, share, subscribe. What he said.