Our First Guest Gavin

A cold pasta salad gets called spaghetti, salsa becomes “sauce,” and somehow that’s only the beginning of our first guest episode with Gavin. We’re back in full small-town comedy podcast mode, where the best stories come from long workdays, bad lighting, and friends who will absolutely narrate your worst moment for the rest of your life.

We bounce from workplace stories and rainy-day gear that looks ridiculous to the weird feeling of getting recognized by listeners on the job. Gavin also tells the throwback story of getting interviewed at bus races and landing on Barstool Sports, plus why one viral clip can follow you longer than any resume. Then we drift into casino talk, including the superstition of a “magical” slot machine, the wins and losses that fuel the myth, and the free soda haul that turns into an argument about what people actually drink.

It gets surprisingly real when we talk side hustles and pride in small projects, like Gavin’s not-so-big cornfield and the harvest math behind it. We also hear a red, white, and blue smoke engagement story that feels equal parts patriotic and chaotic, then finish with what makes us happiest, the grind of quitting nicotine, and a heated debate about movies everyone should have seen by now. If you like funny storytelling, blue-collar life, and a hangout-style guest interview, hit play, subscribe, and share the episode with a friend. What’s your most confident wrong moment?

Transcript

Meet Gavin And The Chaos Starts

SPEAKER_05 0:00

You why? What's going on? Oh. Well, we have uh Gavin here. Hi. We have a guest today.

SPEAKER_04 0:12

Really?

SPEAKER_05 0:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 0:14

Is he a guest or is he just a cop?

SPEAKER_05 0:18

They just watch it. What is that? Oh, there we go. Twiddling my thumb is you two here. Why? He set up in the country. I mean, whoa, what the hell? Why is there a technical difficulty? Why is it always gotta be something? I think we're good. We're rolling. We're rolling. Well, Gavin, who are you? Gavin Lundgren? You want to see my idea? Yeah. I thought it was Garvin Yoder. Oh, I go by many names. Gavin Lundrin, Garvin Yoder. Can we just get a little hand to the left real quick?

SPEAKER_04 0:59

I don't know if you can see that, but he's got the American flag champion.

SPEAKER_05 1:04

America. It was done a little over a week ago, so it grew in a little bit. How many weddings are you in this summer? Yeah, I'm in a couple. If you just buzz aside, you'll be good. It's growing pretty fast. Yeah, she's growing pretty quick.

SPEAKER_04 1:18

Well, for those that don't know, Gavin works with Derek and I. We've kind of picked him up along the way. We promised he could be the first guest.

SPEAKER_05 1:26

Yeah. I think, well, you've missed one episode, but otherwise you watch or listen every Thursday morning. Dedicated.

SPEAKER_04 1:34

It's dedicated. So he gets to be the first guest. Alright. He brought his own beverage. A guy gets thirsty after work. Might make it worse.

SPEAKER_05 1:50

He likes to laugh a lot. As you heard. I don't know how close you need to hold that. Maybe like that. Something like that. I don't know. I don't know either. You'll find out tomorrow morning when he looks like blown up.

SPEAKER_04 2:02

I don't listen to these, so I'm gonna go upstairs at the end of this. I'm gonna click download, and then I click upload, and then that's gonna lie.

SPEAKER_05 2:10

I don't think I've listened to any episode since our first one. Our first one I was excited.

SPEAKER_04 2:15

I haven't listened since episode five.

SPEAKER_05 2:17

I've gave up since then. You know what the two guys in the script podcast would say about that? You guys aren't dedicated listening.

SPEAKER_04 2:24

No. We're our own problem, and we're not growing, dude.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

Those two extra listeners.

SPEAKER_04 2:33

Take it on Joe Rogan, not listening.

SPEAKER_05 2:37

Well, we could maybe get on. I forgot the message, Rogan. Shit. You want to go on? Yeah, we're too good to go on his. He'd have to come on.

SPEAKER_04 2:49

Yeah, Rogan would have to come sit here with us.

SPEAKER_05 2:53

You're luxurious. We're probably gonna get sued over this. You're telling them or is it defamation or whatever? Like if you make fun of someone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:01

We don't have a team of lawyers yet. Rogan, please don't sue us.

SPEAKER_05 3:06

That'll help. We'll go on your podcast if that makes better. Yeah. You sure? You know, I'm not too sure. I've seen your guys with fan base. They're everywhere. You know what?

SPEAKER_04 3:21

For what it says we have for followers and listeners, I don't think it lines up because I've definitely gotten caught off guard a few times by our fans. Just the other day, someone walked up to me at work and said, one of the trucks walked up and said, I need to get my nuts checked out.

SPEAKER_05 3:38

I kind of just looked at him like it took me a minute to realize, oh yeah, we're on the internet, now everything's out there. Which Dylan. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 3:52

Well, it was like the day on the river. They were yelling at us about something. Yeah. It just kind of takes me a minute, like, oh yeah, our dirty laundry's all the way out there.

SPEAKER_05 4:03

Anyone can know. A lot of embarrassing stuff. Why are you looking at me like that? Gavin doesn't really have anything embarrassing. I mean, he's an embarrassment himself. Derek brings up an embarrassment.

Christmas Party Food Disasters

SPEAKER_03 4:19

Should we bring up a the Christmas party we got invited to? Oh we got invited to the cleaning company's Christmas party through work.

SPEAKER_08 4:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:32

And someone uh, since he lives too far away, didn't go home and he just decided to day drink after work. It wasn't the day, it was night. Okay. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't day drinking. I guess you started at like four. It was like evening drinking. Yeah. We get off work at 4 30. I started about 4 35. Luckily, I think you're turning into a regular alcoholic, aren't you? I figured as much. I thought you were gonna bring up the meatball thing.

SPEAKER_03 5:02

Well, that that's what it's getting at. Oh, the meatball. We get to the Christmas party, Gavin's already being gaved.

SPEAKER_05 5:13

We go dish up the food, and we get back to the table. What was it? You're like, God, this spaghetti's dog shit. And we're like spaghetti. There's no spaghetti. It was a cold pasta salad. He took the noodles and put the uh salsa. Was it salsa? Yeah, yeah, it was the salsa on there from the chips, thinking that was the sauce. Well, in my defense, they had the pasta salad here. And the salsa was eager. I'm like, oh, it's weird spaghetti noodles and spaghetti sauce. I get back to the table, like this sucks. Your memory is on next level. You're like I don't think anybody can forget that one. I forgot. I didn't. I remember, I just couldn't remember the details.

SPEAKER_06 5:58

Uh they had cooked mushrooms sitting there, and it was a very dimly lit. That's what it was. It was a very dimly lit room in my defense, and I grabbed half a plate of them. Like, oh, these are gonna be good. I go sit down and take a bite. I thought they were meatballs, and oh, they're mushrooms. The worst part is I did it again.

SPEAKER_05 6:19

And then I grabbed Because wasn't there actual meatballs? Yeah, there was.

SPEAKER_06 6:23

I did the wrong thing. I didn't know which was which, and I grabbed one meatball and a few mushrooms. I go up to the bathroom, come back, and George ate my one meatball off my plate.

SPEAKER_05 6:36

That was a good night. That was yeah, that was sure a great night. Gavin Ditch says he didn't come to the bar with the whole crew. I had to work the next morning. So did everyone but me. I wouldn't have been two sheets to the wind. Really? Yeah, it was a Friday. Yeah. I wouldn't have been two sheets to the wind if somebody didn't come up and keep handing me beers. Yeah, you kind of screwed them over. Yeah, you did. You're welcome for the beers. It's pretty good, actually.

SPEAKER_04 7:03

Gavin, you must feel pretty special being on the podcast. I feel special.

SPEAKER_06 7:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:08

More special than you already are.

SPEAKER_05 7:10

Oh yeah. Let me tell you, if anyone is a short bus rider, it is Gavin with the full hot helmet and everything. Funny, I've driven the bus. We'll drive the bus. Make sure to Gavin, you were talking about sponsoring us, so if you want to uh do your sponsorship commercial right now, you can say you're this is your commercial spot. So I don't know if the DOT is listed. I don't know if we need to put that oh, we don't have the DOT list, so I guarantee you that.

SPEAKER_06 7:36

GL Transform brings your stuff from one point to another, no matter where she is. Really?

SPEAKER_03 7:45

Are you gonna put your number out there?

SPEAKER_05 7:48

That's $500 now. Wait, wait, we'll lock it down if he doesn't put he puts a number out there, $500. I don't want your clients in my phone. Is your uh polling team gonna sponsor us also? Red light addiction polling team?

SPEAKER_06 8:04

You just made that up. The bank account's looking a little low fashion.

SPEAKER_04 8:13

Well, so is ours. Look at our look at our setup here. Your guy's setup is immaculate. You're sitting on a TV stand, you're holding your own microphone. Yeah, it's pretty sweet.

SPEAKER_05 8:25

Look at the poster behind you. That's that's pretty sweet, isn't it? That's the best thing ever. Where did you get that? Nella got it for us. That's pretty sweet. Oh. Hey Gavin, how about this? We'll sponsor your uh pulling truck, you put that on the side of it, but you just have to match with the being a sponsor on here, and we'll advertise GL Transport. Dio. Oh, now we're gonna something. You are a business paint. We can do a full cab wrap if you want. Just a hood. Oh deal, we can do really I can do that. That'd be funny. I wonder if we could get like no iron on like t-shirt things. I wonder if we did that and just ironed it onto his hood if it would stay at all. I bet she old.

SPEAKER_04 9:14

You know, we were talking about some embarrassing stories about Gavin.

unknown 9:18

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_04 9:18

And I think the only thing I can just that just pops out at me is there's gonna be destruction or Gavin's out there on the internet, man. He was out there before his debut here.

Barstool Bus Races And Going Viral

SPEAKER_04 9:33

He's out there before Derek and I, too. So there's a local speedway that does some bus races, and Gavin was uh on the news channel for it or whatever.

SPEAKER_05 9:44

It wasn't even the news, it was Barstool Sports. Okay, so uh what did you say um Barstool sports? Well, it was 2021.

SPEAKER_06 9:51

Me and my buddy are going to the bus races, and there's rumors that Barstool's gonna be there, and there's some people by us like Barstool's over there interviewing people. I don't want to go over there. Well, I'm 17 and looking for attention, so I'm like, I'll go over there. And I don't remember what they asked. They're like, What's your favorite part about the bus races? And I'm sitting there in a cut off flannel with a mullet wearing pit vipers, going to destruction, bus is dipping over, bus is going in the pond.

SPEAKER_05 10:20

And then I made the mistake of showing Derek that video about a year ago, and he hasn't let me forget it. I might have to find that again. I kind of miss it. I wonder, like, what are those like picture things that you can send a text, like a gif or whatever? Yeah, gif. Yeah, grandpa.

SPEAKER_08 10:36

It's a gif. I wonder if we can make that into a gif.

SPEAKER_05 10:42

What would you use that for? You want to look stupid? I just send it to you like randomly, or like if anyone's like, what are you doing tonight? I just send it. Why are you doing me? Why is he doing you? Why are you watching him do me? Uh-oh. Oh Grammy's calling me.

SPEAKER_04 11:04

We want to answer it?

SPEAKER_05 11:05

I'll text her that Ryan. Remy, you're live on the podcast.

SPEAKER_04 11:08

Did you not tell her you were doing the podcast tonight?

SPEAKER_05 11:11

Oh, I thought she knew, but oh boy. Sorry, Remy. I know you're probably listening. Why don't you answer it? Put her live on the podcast. Well, you don't want to put it on speaker. Yeah, you do. I'll ask her if she wants me to answer on speaker.

SPEAKER_08 11:33

Fans are winner.

SPEAKER_05 11:40

What are you you type in her paragraph? I wrote We're podcasting? Do you want me to answer on speaker? It it took you half an hour. It's okay. Man cut him a break. Yeah. Slow at typing. Slow at typing. Says you. Yeah, if it's coming from me, it means something. Where's your glasses? Yeah, oh. It was raining today, so I was hoping you were gonna wear them. What did you call him yesterday that he looked like? Jared from Subway. Not Jared from Silboy. Well, honestly, you touch little kids, you just look like him. Did like the guy who acted Jared for Subway touch little kids? Jared was a real person. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, he was a real person and he liked little kids. He worked at Subway? No, no, he was just a fat guy that Subway.

SPEAKER_04 12:39

Subway and got skinny. Like he ate Subway every meal or whatever, every day. He was like really fat, like me and you. And then he got really skinny.

SPEAKER_05 12:47

Hey, don't put me in the same category as you.

SPEAKER_04 12:51

Asshole. You're bigger than me.

SPEAKER_05 12:55

Yeah, taller.

SPEAKER_04 12:56

Yeah. You still weigh more. Just because I'm short.

SPEAKER_05 13:00

How much do you weigh right now? I don't know, probably like 240. I guess I am weighing myself around. I think I was 245 last time. Fucking five pounds. Five pounds, but uh when I have a foot of height on you, also. You don't have a foot of height. Okay, six inches. How tall are I?

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Huh?

SPEAKER_05 13:19

How tall are you?

SPEAKER_01 13:20

Six two.

SPEAKER_05 13:20

Six two. You got four inches on me.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

Four inches.

SPEAKER_05 13:24

I got the four inches on your place as well. All right. And he goes. Yeah, and your balls. Yeah. You're jealous. So is he? I'm very jealous. Especially after the video. We figured it out. Why Adele's always talking about your balls and how much she likes your balls is because your dick just ain't that good. I don't. I told her that last night. What'd she say? She gave me a weird look. She didn't say anything. She said it's not true, so I'm guessing it's true. I'll gotta find out at some point. Your dick isn't that bad, Taylor.

SPEAKER_08 14:04

Pretty much, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:06

You're bigger than all your friends.

SPEAKER_07 14:14

Must feel good.

SPEAKER_05 14:15

Yeah, I mean I don't take much. Must feel good for a second, tell you like, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_08 14:21

Yeah, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_04 14:26

You want another one? No. I don't have any beard, but I got some toys tea whiskey. Oh no. Some vodka? Nope. I don't liquor and me aren't old friends.

SPEAKER_05 14:38

Why? Doesn't end well.

SPEAKER_06 14:40

What happens? I got sick and not going to work the next day. Oh. I don't think my foreman would be too happy if there's uh just three people out back at work.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

You won't be happy.

SPEAKER_05 14:53

I'm not the foreman. You're the foreman. You're the left-hand man. You're the fat guy in the crane. You're the fat guy in the skids here. Yeah. That is true. I've been calling him that all week.

SPEAKER_04 15:06

Oh. We didn't get a picture. So it was rainy today. We don't get rain days. And Derek came with quite the ensemble.

SPEAKER_05 15:16

I had full rain gear. I had pants and a jacket. But was it what color was it? Well, the jacket's high fizz, which isn't bad. Well, the pants are like banana yellow. Like the little kid that goes to the clown or whatever. What's the Georgie and it? Yeah, like the same as his raincoat, but my pants were that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:41

You had a jacket too. You gave me the jacket.

SPEAKER_05 15:43

Yeah, Tanner's wearing rain.

SPEAKER_04 15:45

Well, you assholes lost my rain jacket.

SPEAKER_05 15:47

Yeah, I'm sure we lost it.

SPEAKER_04 15:48

You did.

SPEAKER_05 15:49

I've never worn it. Gavin's wore it.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Yeah, CSB is him.

SPEAKER_05 15:56

Oh, I know. Nobody better wear my uh new rain jacket without permission. I gave Gavin permission this morning. Well the pants. You know how much a rain jacket is? Can we wear the pants without permission? It was like $40 for a rain jacket. Can we wear your pants without permission? Yeah, we split the crotch in. I didn't even split the like it wasn't like you know, split the crotch. I literally, as the day went, more and more of the like rubber stuff on the outside was wearing off. Then by the end, it's just cloth. Yeah. They did work though. My legs just got damp. But from like mint shin down got wet. I don't know how that happened, but why don't you wear your rain boots today? Your muck boots. Because those have more holes than these ones. I just got wet today. I just dealt with it. I don't want to buy new muck boots because like they get destroyed there.

SPEAKER_04 16:54

The thing about getting wet is it sucks and it pisses you off getting wet.

SPEAKER_05 17:00

But once you're soaked, it don't really matter. No, you're just there.

SPEAKER_06 17:05

You're gonna downpour going through that cast.

SPEAKER_05 17:08

I thought if I got the whole like pants and jackets up, I'm like, this will be nice. It'll just be dry the whole day. The moment I walked in the office. You bought the cheapest, shittiest pair though. Well, it was either that or it was like $70 for the why didn't you spend $70? Because I can order them online for $30, but I wanted them that day. What uh whenever I bought them, because it was supposed to rain the Monday after. So I bought them and then it didn't rain. So the moment I walked in the office and saw those things are what a 42 by 31? I was like, oh, those things are ripping today.

SPEAKER_03 17:44

Well, that's I don't want to go any bigger because the waist would have been like a 50 something. I'm like, that's gonna be massive. Well, here the waist isn't that big. The Chinese men must be built there.

SPEAKER_05 17:56

Must have been in metric or something. Like I told you, I have a pair of 5x shorts from China that fit me. The big guys in China look like me. You don't exist in China.

SPEAKER_06 18:12

See Derek all oiled up fighting other Chinese. Why is that?

SPEAKER_05 18:16

Why are Chinese people all skinny and why do they have small wieners?

SPEAKER_06 18:19

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 18:22

Damn it, I got the wrong Chinese genes in me.

SPEAKER_05 18:27

Oh, that is a good question. Like something in their DNA, I suppose. I'm half a percent Chinese. I'm not good at math, my wiener is just small.

SPEAKER_04 18:36

Did I bring this up on the last pad? Lost podcast?

SPEAKER_05 18:41

Last podcast.

SPEAKER_04 18:42

I'm struggle, okay?

SPEAKER_05 18:44

The Lost Podcast. Yeah, the last podcast.

A Weird Day At Work

SPEAKER_05 18:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 18:46

This is gonna be the last podcast.

SPEAKER_05 18:47

Did we talk about the midget that came to work? Oh we did it! You did it! I am so pissed that Derek. We had an actual midget come to work. He did not get an autograph, he did not get a phone number, he did not shake a hand. I'm pissed. I forgot we were gonna try the next midget we saw, we were gonna try and get him on the podcast. And you did it. He uh didn't speak English very well. It's okay.

SPEAKER_04 19:14

He can just sit there and spile.

SPEAKER_05 19:19

He was the next truck at Lana. Go see what he has. He gets out. I have to lift his tongue cover before so we can get his tailgate open. He's driving over the pile. Walk over to Derek. I'm like, you want to come help me? I've never lied to you before. You wanna come help me? He comes out, his face is glowing.

SPEAKER_03 19:37

Oh my god, a lot. And then Gavin keeps trying to make eye contact with me, and I'm just like, I'm trying not to like not laugh because I really want to laugh, but like I just wanted to smile because I was so happy that I saw a midget. And I'm like, just try to be not challenging about it, act normal. Gavin's just staring at me, like Darren just sweet. This is awesome, Derek. Pretty awful.

SPEAKER_08 20:01

He was like, I'm level at the top of his bumper.

SPEAKER_03 20:05

You are the worst at that game. When like someone comes in and you're trying not to laugh at a customer, and Gavin's just like staring at you, waiting for your reaction. Like, you'll be unloading the guy. Gavin's not even helping. Just like looking at you, like, you're gonna laugh. You're gonna laugh.

SPEAKER_05 20:21

I hate that you don't have the little earpiece anymore.

SPEAKER_04 20:24

Oh, because I can't fucking chime in when the guys are doing shit and say stupid stuff.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

It's so nice not having it, because otherwise you'd have the earpiece, everyone would be like, oh yeah, look at that book, crap. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm saying. What's what we say about you? They're trying not to laugh. Or you're talking to the person, like that Pete and Repeat guy. He's screaming at me like a foot away because you can't hear Tanners saying stuff in one ear. The other guy's yelling at me in the other ear. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm trying not to laugh.

SPEAKER_05 21:01

I've totally laughed in people's faces before doing the stupid stuff Tanner said to me.

SPEAKER_06 21:08

Like when I don't even know I should say her name.

SPEAKER_05 21:12

She might be less than no names. The female comes in, and you're always saying something. There's been times she's looking at me and I've laughed.

SPEAKER_04 21:21

I think the best time was Alec was in one crane and I was in the other, and there was a transgender that came in.

SPEAKER_05 21:27

And the skirt was almost short enough. I'm pretty sure you could have seen some balls there. And Justin was alone. And he looked at Alec, and Alec fucking smiling, like making fun of it. Then he looks at me for like some relief. And I made it even worse, and he just fucking died. Dude, Justin is the worst at it though. You'll be alone with somebody, and you won't even see where Justin is. You just hear chatter on your right ear.

SPEAKER_03 21:57

Well, that's it. Back with his prep card, he could. Smell if a woman gave it. You'd be unloading people. A girl pulls in, and you haven't seen Justin all day. He hasn't even looked outside of the shop. Here comes Justin sprouting over.

SPEAKER_05 22:14

He still does that. But Ellie's now he's out there, so like he can see him.

SPEAKER_08 22:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:22

Literally, Tanner can vouch for this. Before he would be in the shop, like under a car prepping it. And then he would go. A girl would pull across the scale and outdust it would go. I don't know if he saw it on the camera or the camera. Have you noticed the camera's off now? Yeah. Yeah, I don't work. It did stop working.

SPEAKER_06 22:43

Oh, I don't have a goal. So it doesn't get watched anymore. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

I don't like that look.

SPEAKER_05 22:53

Why? Because it's a little bit more. Well, the cameras are still on. It's just the monitoring. I have nothing to say to you. What did I do to you? Oh. Well, Gavin, is there anything exciting going on this week that was this week?

Karaoke Dreams And Old School Songs

SPEAKER_07 23:11

Nothing I can think of.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

What are you trying to get out of here, Derek?

SPEAKER_07 23:21

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 23:24

I'd hate to see you get arrested. Oh, that'd be so funny.

SPEAKER_05 23:28

Don't read me my random lights and just you imagine if he got into a lineup or something. He would be completely innocent. He'd be fucking that guy. Shit! It wasn't me.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

It wasn't me. It wasn't me.

SPEAKER_05 23:44

If Gavin ever gets like in trouble where he has to go to court, I am so going and watching his court. Trial. Just like when he's like sitting up on Santa Cause like fake talking dick. Do you plead instead of guilty? I just keep you going to jail for 10 years. My cellmate knows how to crack some jokes. You don't have to be good at it. Smooth brain. Or no, was it? No.

SPEAKER_04 24:22

Oh valleys or bumps. No. I used to say it crack me all the time. Yeah, you can't do it.

SPEAKER_05 24:30

Bally's or bumps, right? I think smooth brain. You're not one to talk. I've seen the stuff you laugh at. Yeah, but he's got a pretty strong brain. He was freaking singing, The Earth is our mother, dude. Yeah. Can we get a live performance of that? No, you were the one. Gavin's wanted to sing karaoke on this ever since he started. Why every time karaoke's brought up, he points a finger at someone else. Like, yeah, he literally is the one that wants to do karaoke, but when I brought it up the one time, he's like, no, you get. I'm like, no, you wanted to do karaoke. I like listening to other people sing karaoke. Well, yeah, me too. I like listening to you sing freed with our picking alone. It's fun. Today is our mother. We must take care of. Hit again. I didn't go to school with you guys. I don't know that one. You mean you didn't, your clear leg didn't? Oh, I guess we aren't. We're gonna say town is out where we're at. Well, there's a lot of clear lakes, though. You're telling me they didn't have a bunch of white kids standing in an auditorium chanting, hey y'all no, hey yunya. No, we didn't have that. We sang a Milana song. What was that? What was a Milana song? What was that last thing? Eat lime or this guy, we just see it goes me. That one. Oh yeah, we sang that. I don't know why. What was the other song? You you can remember. Got four wheels and a running board. Oh, I'm a four to one. I'm a Ford Hong Kong Ranald, grass beep deep.

SPEAKER_03 26:18

I feel like Gavin used to sing that when he was a little bit dogs.

SPEAKER_05 26:23

What are the other ones? I mean, you were going to go. Dweller of the Cave. I don't really remember that. Dweller of the Cave. I don't, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:32

That was like my favorite song.

SPEAKER_05 26:34

Two. Dweller of the Cave. Speaking Chinese to me, man.

SPEAKER_04 26:40

You were singing them all.

SPEAKER_05 26:41

Give me one margarita. Maybe that wasn't at school. I don't think you sang that at school. A little too much TikTok, Derek. Shaking ass in front of the school. What other side do we sing music for that? Oh, the Camp Granada. Hello Mada. Hello, Fada. Here I am at Camp Granada. Just saying that things it was raining. Yeah. That one sounds like the child's getting raped or something. Well, he's pretty much like trying to tell his parents like camp sucks. And then later on he changes his mood. Like I think he says his bunkmates Jeffrey Dahmer. Really? That's an unfortunate situation. It'd be like having a bunk mate of dairy. Oh god. Fuck you, you've been on bunk mate before. Just looking down at the phone bed watches. I think so. You had to. When? Never went to camp? No, but we'd had to have gone on like a trip or something together. When we went out to Wabay fishing.

SPEAKER_01 27:46

Not this pastime, but the time before. Yeah. Didn't weren't those didn't that room have monks? No. I think it had a monk.

SPEAKER_04 27:55

It had a bed and a bed. Me and Hunter slept in one bed and you and your dad slept in the other. I couldn't figure out why you and your dad crawled in the bed naked together, but I wasn't gonna ask questions.

SPEAKER_05 28:08

I mean, we had a couple drinks before we went to bed that night. We had the same DNA, though the new camera.

SPEAKER_06 28:21

You know what? Hell yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_05 28:24

No, I couldn't do that.

SPEAKER_06 28:26

I'm gonna bag my dad.

SPEAKER_05 28:28

Why? Oh, you beg your dad. Oh, I don't think you wouldn't be able to find him. You're about to have three. Yeah. None of them are gay. That's pretty sweet.

SPEAKER_01 28:41

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 28:43

I never thought of that.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

You'll pretty much technically have three dads. You'll have your biological dad, your legal dad, and your stepdad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 28:55

Yeah, well, Christmas is about to.

SPEAKER_04 28:57

Yeah, no one. I better get a lot of damn presents this. My birth my birthday's coming up. Christmas is.

SPEAKER_05 29:09

Oh, I need uh Remy a banana cream pie for her birthday because she was all mad that I made you three of them last year. So that's not fair, Remy. I have to come up with a different pie because I've overmade those. I made those too many times now.

Pudding Debates And Casino Wins

SPEAKER_05 29:27

What was it that he was on that he was pudding. Pudding. Homemade pudding from scratch. Oh well, you weren't calling it pudding. You were calling it pudding. Pudding. You went on that like 20-minute rant on how to make it right and how you don't have the proper ingredients in your house. You gotta go to the store, you gotta improvise. You remember that? Why didn't you make the fake box shit? Stuff sucks. No, I made flour pudding because we didn't have any cornstarch. And it actually turned Remy and my mom said that that was the best pudding I made. But oh, I like the cornstarch. It was a little smoother, but I I can't I have notes on my phone for the uh recipe I use that like I thought was pretty perfect. So it was more like a custardy pudding than like really yeah, it was good. You know, I can tell you're fat because I'm obsessed with smoking meats. Oh, I know. Like I have that button afterwards in your last podcast. What's cornbread? Your last podcast question, or two podcasts ago, is how do you smoke the perfect brisket? Let's Google it.

SPEAKER_04 30:46

Yeah, that's a good answer.

SPEAKER_05 30:48

No, you have to monitor it. Like, monitor your temperatures and stuff, but just Google like whatever meat you're doing. See at what temperature you want to wrap it, what temp this, what temp that, and then just monitor your temperatures.

SPEAKER_06 31:03

I'm glad you're passionate about something.

SPEAKER_04 31:06

Okay, since my brain's not working well lately, and it's in my brain right now. What do we do Friday night? Me neither.

SPEAKER_05 31:14

Went to the casino. Sick invite. You didn't want to go. I said I did want to go. You didn't want to go. Yeah. And then while you were at Wolf. So I tell my parents, yeah, I'll go over to eat with you. I get almost home. I get called from here. You still wanna go to the casino? I thought we weren't going. Well, Adela said she'd go. So let's go.

SPEAKER_04 31:40

Well, she came up to you. You guys go to the casino? What? Oh, you wanna go? Yeah, I'd go. Alright, I'll ask Derek. And it worked out damn good for me.

SPEAKER_05 31:52

Not for me. How much did you lose? 100. That's it. I thought you were down more than that. No. Oh, what the hell, Derek? You got pop-ups from all that porn on your computer. I haven't been in possession of my computer for the last two months, so you have some explaining to do. Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_04 32:12

Okay, back to the old casino. That mystical toad. She treated me well.

SPEAKER_05 32:17

Oh yeah. I never walk out up in the casino. I walked out up $200. And that was after giving Adela the $50 she lost.

SPEAKER_01 32:29

I think I'm a good influence because Tanner's only walked out up twice, and both times have been when I've went with him.

SPEAKER_06 32:35

Well, you know what that trip taught me? If you want Tanner to go out and go do something, you gotta ask Adela. Oh yeah. Tubing confirmed that.

SPEAKER_05 32:46

Yeah, so if any of you listeners want to do something with Tanner, and you know he always says no because he's boring. Text his girlfriend. Then she'll make him go for it.

SPEAKER_06 32:55

Yeah, just open up her DMs of the world, Derek.

SPEAKER_05 33:00

Get in. Why was it wet? Oh.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

I wouldn't have known it was wet.

SPEAKER_05 33:07

Mine was dry.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

There's no way yours was dry.

SPEAKER_05 33:10

Mine is dry. No way. You want me to show you? Yeah. You can stick a finger through my crack and see if it's dry.

SPEAKER_04 33:18

Audio listeners are gonna be so confused.

SPEAKER_05 33:21

We both parted if you guys couldn't hear it. I don't know if our mics picked that up. I might have picked up mine. Yours was yours had some volume, too. Oh well, we don't.

SPEAKER_04 33:34

All right, honestly, don't. Gavin,

Gavin’s Cornfield And Harvest Math

SPEAKER_04 33:39

you're a scrapping machine. You're a trucking machine.

SPEAKER_05 33:45

You're a farmer. The world needs to know about Gavin's farm. DL acres. Okay, how many acres do you know? Hold on. First of all, every time we drive by, Adol and I, she calls it a patch. That's that's your field to her, is a patch. A cabbage patch. I call it your garden, but so how many acres you got?

SPEAKER_06 34:13

Oh, the field that you're making fun of me. I found out when I planted it with the GPS is 2.81 acres.

SPEAKER_05 34:22

Okay, how many times did you go around the outside extra after you were done playing? I went zero times around the outside extra.

SPEAKER_04 34:31

I'm being honest.

SPEAKER_05 34:33

Why didn't you drop the old plow down and go a couple extra passes and make it a little wider?

SPEAKER_06 34:39

Here it goes like three acres. I have a Snapchat that can show you where I got the M stuck on the plow, and it is about uh that far off the head plowed. She's a little moist to swap out there.

SPEAKER_05 34:54

So I'm assuming we planted it with corn, right? I sure did. Pioneer 92-day corn. Wow, he's really fancy. What's the what's the dynamic number?

SPEAKER_06 35:06

No, he's just the bags in the back of my truck, probably.

SPEAKER_04 35:10

Okay. I drove by.

SPEAKER_06 35:14

It's looking good. It's looking really good. Looking really good.

SPEAKER_05 35:17

I drove by it this morning.

SPEAKER_06 35:18

I was like, wow, pretty good.

SPEAKER_05 35:21

So when are you gonna harvest it?

SPEAKER_06 35:25

Oh, it turns brown and guys. Do you gonna chop it or you just gotta like get the actual point? Oh, it's getting combine. Are you gonna combine it yourself? Probably. And the green truck.

SPEAKER_05 35:44

DOT, if you're listening, don't go get me. You don't need a green truck, you can fill a pickup box.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

Why don't you just use Alex Dunk trailer? I don't think she'll fit in there. If you get 200 bushels an acre, which is possible. It's like almost 600 bushels.

SPEAKER_04 36:06

I don't know how many bushels. $3 a bushel. You're gonna make $1,800. After fuel costs, planting costs, harvesting costs. Should be able to profit about $100.

SPEAKER_05 36:20

And a good time. And a good time? And a good time.

SPEAKER_04 36:23

We ain't gonna take that to the casino? We sure are. Alright, you're gonna put that in the toad. And you're gonna do 10 pins on the toad. Okay. Tonya. The toad is magical. It even converted my girlfriend. And she is frugal as frugal can be. She was driving by the casino the other day. She wanted to stop at the toad and put some money in it.

SPEAKER_05 36:46

That ball blew my socks off. That is changing. That's called addiction. No. Dan are so proud. I got her converted. Convert is just another way to say brother. You know what I also want at the casino? Two free cases of pop. Well, slow down then. I bet you drank it. I would drink them? You drank them. I brought them to work. Oh, the Pepsi's? Pepsi on Mountain Dew.

SPEAKER_04 37:14

Oh, I sure tried giving one to Derek because I felt bad he lost all his money, but he was too good for me. He left.

SPEAKER_05 37:23

I don't want to sit in the line to get a case of pop. I don't even like pop. What do you mean you don't like pop? Oh my bad. Like at work, I'll drink it because it's free and it's there, but like otherwise I never go on my way and get it. I never drink a pop outside of work. Do you like barley pops? I do like barley pops, but not regular pops.

SPEAKER_06 37:43

You know beer's better for you than pop.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Probably healthier. Oh.

SPEAKER_06 37:50

Oh no, I heard it on the internet. Probably not as good for your kids. Grandpa Ron of Sea Boys TV told me.

SPEAKER_05 37:57

Oh boy. I can't believe you didn't learn about Seaboys until a few months ago. I know. I was like. Like, that is right up your alley. I know it is. I watched it. They're pretty funny. Next

Red White And Blue Engagement Story

SPEAKER_05 38:10

thing you're gonna know is he doesn't know who Larry Enticer is. I bet. Oh, I'm skidding. Fuck I bought a heart attack. That would have been it for me. He probably has a picture. One of the senior pictures is probably doing the 69.

SPEAKER_04 38:24

I'm pretty sure he does have that shit.

SPEAKER_05 38:26

I do have that shit. With the mullet. With the mullet.

SPEAKER_06 38:29

Uh if you look at my Instagram from like 20. Well, it's gotta be 2018 or 2019. There's a picture of my blue phone.

SPEAKER_05 38:41

That's got one. No, I don't think so. You have red line addiction, right? Yeah, that's my own Instagram. Oh, I thought it was a Gavin and a red line addiction. You're trying to get me in trouble. You scroll back. Oh, I don't know how to get you in trouble. There ain't shit on uh it's uh deleted. Oh, I didn't delete her.

SPEAKER_06 39:05

She's somewhere in here. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_05 39:07

How many truck pulling videos are there?

SPEAKER_06 39:09

Yeah, there's a couple.

SPEAKER_05 39:11

At least they're short videos because he doesn't go very far, but there's a lot of pictures of shitty trucks. There sure is. Maybe I deleted it.

SPEAKER_06 39:19

Well, anyway, there's a picture of my 440 sitting on a hill like this, and I think they put something stupid on there, like just gonna send it or whatever. Well, fun fact, I was gonna ride my sled to school the next day, and I didn't know my floats were bad in my cargo. It didn't shut my gas off. So all that gas ran right in the tank out the muffler. Needless to say, I didn't ride to school the next day. Oh, that's my engagement pick.

SPEAKER_05 39:50

I didn't realize something engagement. You haven't seen that? Oh, yeah, I didn't. Didn't I knew you? Yeah, more American than that. I know I knew you, but I cover I forgot that you did that. Gavin drops down onto one. I was thinking, like, oh, I don't remember seeing any romantic pictures of Gavin, Danielle. Canner showed me that it's red, white, and blue smoke. You know, like, oh yeah, I remember that. There's a picture in there of us, I think. Oh, it's just that. I could find. Whoops. I think that's one of you and her on the case. Who helped you set up the smoke and stuff? Uh Danielle's uncle. Was that your plan, or did you just like, this is prime time, I'm popping it. Well, here comes the truth.

SPEAKER_06 40:37

Uh it was two sheets to the wind. It was 4th of July weekend. Had the ring with, because I took it out of the truck. I'm like, yeah, that was a good time. So texted Danielle's friends who were on their way up. I'm like, go get her address. Because she wanted to look all fancy. And I took her friend's boyfriend's shirt that he had.

SPEAKER_04 40:56

So wait, she knew that you were gonna pop the question before you did?

SPEAKER_05 41:00

Her friend, yeah. No, Danielle.

SPEAKER_06 41:02

Oh no, she didn't.

SPEAKER_05 41:03

She didn't find it odd that she was gonna be putting on a dress?

SPEAKER_06 41:06

No, because her friend played it off like they're gonna take nice pictures. They don't have any.

SPEAKER_03 41:12

Women lie at each other like Boy, did you get her fooled? I turned back and it's all smoky.

SPEAKER_05 41:17

And she's like, never take a nice picture. I did not want it like that. Did Danielle at least like the smoke and some of it? Does she make fun of you for that? No, she liked that part. It is kind of badass, but yeah.

SPEAKER_06 41:34

Should have done a wheelie on the three-wheeler, jumped off an ass. That would have been way cooler.

SPEAKER_07 41:42

Oh.

Happiness Lists And Quitting Nicotine

SPEAKER_06 41:56

I'm a man of many happinesses. Are you?

SPEAKER_07 42:01

What makes you the most happy? Really?

SPEAKER_06 42:12

Badass. Really? I don't think so. What makes me the most? I don't know. Come back to me. Derek, what makes you the most happy?

SPEAKER_05 42:22

Remy. Then motorcycles.

SPEAKER_06 42:25

Oh, that was a nice save.

SPEAKER_05 42:29

How about you, Taylor? Do not copy what he said. Don't say Remy. Why would I say Remy? Oh, that's what you say at work. Adela. My whole life makes me happy. Does it? I'm on cloud nine. No, it doesn't. Crammy all the time. Lately, yeah. I'm kicking a nicotine habit, alright? Oh, we know. We've only heard about it a lot. It's officially 72 hours. Hey, congratulations. Who's counting? Yeah. Me. How many hours you're back on? Now you've said that in the last 11 times. I've never made it to 72 hours before. They say if you can get over the three-day hump, you're good. I think that's I think that's for alcohol.

SPEAKER_04 43:18

I don't even drink a bomb anymore.

SPEAKER_06 43:20

You used to drink a bone? Oh yeah. Walking in your room wearing lingerie or whatever.

SPEAKER_04 43:25

The first 24 hours is real hell. Now? Pop a lifesaver in? That's how serious I am about. He's gonna get diabetes while popping all these lazy. Fuck yeah, I know. I had the Werther's original.

SPEAKER_05 43:41

Yeah, I don't know. I I like them. It's just grandma's done have them. No.

SPEAKER_06 43:53

Yeah, no, when they're grandpa's.

SPEAKER_05 43:58

Well, no, I heard that okay. Well, I love Withers, but you only get them when you go to your grandma's. No. And Tanner's house. Yeah, barely. Where are they? You gonna go get us Werthers? They're for me. It's got a 55-gallon drum full of them in the garage. If I could buy one, I probably would. You know what? I really like the ice sparkling waters. Yeah, those are. I want to buy a pallet of that shit, but I don't know where you get one. What is this? A black raspberry? Yeah, those are the best. Those are so good. I want to buy a whole pallet. Where do you buy one? I think you can get my menards, don't you? No, you can get ice bought anywhere. I mean, I'm sure anywhere that you sold. I can sign up for a pallet of us and they'd be like, okay. How much are they? They used to be a buck apiece.

SPEAKER_06 44:47

They're probably roughly about that. Inflation didn't take them. They're about a buck apiece. It's pretty good. At all. Hammer. Too sweet. Hammer delicious. Delicious? Delicious. I care course.

SPEAKER_02 45:05

No, listen.

SPEAKER_06 45:07

I know you're not a big drinker, but keystone apple. She's pretty good. I don't sell them. It is so good. It's way better than stupid bush apple. I don't like the apples? No. Your comments can fight me too. You're threatening to bring me one. What do you mean threatening you? I'm going to give you a good time. With a keystone a good time.

SPEAKER_05 45:30

With a keystone apple, yeah? Oh. Use your imagination and see where that's going. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna give Derek a good time. If I give you two good times, super nice. Is there a happy ending at the end of the good time? There's always a happy ending of keystone apples involved.

SPEAKER_02 45:47

Really? Delicious.

SPEAKER_04 45:49

You're telling me you can drop his drawers and start puffing on that thing. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_05 45:56

Think of what that smells like today. It's been marinating in my little yellow pants all day.

Movie Night Arguments And Streaming Schemes

SPEAKER_05 46:06

Get your yellow pants out of my brain. You know all I can think of? Have you ever seen TED 2, the movie? I've never watched Ted. What? We've gone over this. No, we haven't. We haven't. It's a different movie. No Fast and Furious. It was Ted. You never seen Fast and Furious? No.

SPEAKER_03 46:25

What's wrong with you? I didn't watch Super Trooper until like I was.

SPEAKER_05 46:36

Have you seen Ted? Both of them? Okay.

SPEAKER_04 46:39

Remember when Ted goes to jerk out com breeding the little ring to it? That's what Derek looked like today.

SPEAKER_06 46:46

They're seeing Curious George with the man in the yellow hat. Yeah. So Derek's pants looked like I could not take you seriously. Because what was it last Thursday? I parked my truck, walking up to the office, and Derek gets out of his truck in front of me and was wearing these little shorts into the office.

SPEAKER_05 47:07

And not to be mean to you, buddy, but you don't have the most flattering leg. Every inch of them things. And then he went to go change, and he didn't bother using the bathroom to go change. So he just dropped trowel right in the middle of the office. Not getting naked. I have my underwear on. Yeah, your butt crap is still out. I forgot my uniforms can and my clothes on the doghouse. I literally grabbed my uniforms right in front of you. And you're like, come on, Gavin. Why have you never seen any of these movies? I don't watch that many movies. Actually, pissing me off. Dude, all week you've been on me to watch Bad Thoughts. Yeah, it's a show, not a movie. What's the difference? You have time to watch a show, but you can't watch Ted?

SPEAKER_01 47:56

Watch Ted.

SPEAKER_04 47:58

I'm gonna have to we're gonna have to have movie night here once a week, and you're gonna have to come over and watch all these freaking awesome movies.

SPEAKER_05 48:04

And you can see. Okay, but then you can pay to rent them and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 48:07

I have a VZ box. Any illegal movie that we want to watch.

SPEAKER_05 48:12

I want to be affiliated with pirating movies.

SPEAKER_04 48:16

Shang.

SPEAKER_05 48:18

You just did a pirate thing on it. Why?

SPEAKER_04 48:20

Have you seen have you seen Forrest Gump?

SPEAKER_05 48:23

Mom, right? Have you seen Forrest Gump? Mom, watch what was life. He's like a box. Okay, you know the saying. That was a mass long for fan people. You know the saying. Have you seen the movie? Yeah. Are you sure? I don't want to hit John. So your tarot gets Randby. Grandma. You should go home and do that. I've done it before. Have you ever told Theater about? I don't know if I want to talk about it. It's not that bad. When when uh Remy was still sleeping before you left for that day and he woke her up. She was still half asleep and told her that you were dead. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:12

I think I told Taylor. I almost my top five characters. I died that day in the river.

SPEAKER_05 49:23

What made it even? I feel bad for her. I don't know how she puts up with me. I don't either. None of us do. What would have made it even better if you took a hit off her vape book? Turn her own part as I ran off. Alright. What's nice movie night? Should we do it after our podcast? We need to watch. Ted, Super Troopers 2. Ted 2. Have you seen Super Troop ? I've seen Super Trooper Troop Super Troopers 2. But they're coming out with another one, I guess. They are. No, I thought that was just fake AI. Mm-mm. They're coming out with another one. They're also coming out with season three of Tires. I heard that. That is the dumbest show I ever heard. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 50:07

That show's awesome.

SPEAKER_05 50:08

Shane Gillis is the funniest person. It's like the freaking office. Do not ever compare tires to the office. No, it's the same thing.

SPEAKER_06 50:15

No, it's the gun. No, it's way better. I have a gun.

SPEAKER_08 50:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 50:21

Don't buy bullets. No. I'm buying bullets. You need to watch better stuff. You need to watch Bad Thoughts. What's Bad Thoughts? Some comedian. He does like short skits. Okay. It's pretty. Some of them are pretty funny. Some are stupid.

SPEAKER_06 50:42

Derek put me onto that and I put him on to, I think. Did you watch any yet? I watched the first one so far. I gotta go home and re-watch it and watch.

SPEAKER_05 50:50

How long are they? We don't need to re-watch it. I wasn't really paying attention. Well, yeah, but they don't matter. They're just short. How long are they? 20 minutes each. You can't waste 20 minutes. They're on Netflix. I'm sure you have Netflix without ads because you're uh all high and mighty operator. I have a VZ box. I'm sure you still pay for Netflix. Officially cancel all of our subscriptions because I have even your Pornhub one? I have two VZ boxes. Dude, he canceled that one like seven months ago. I don't think there's porn elbow on the VZ box. Can we try them? No. Don't lie to me. You totally have. I have not tried. That's the first thing I would have done. I have not tried. Back in your single days, you still would have tried to. Seven months ago, you totally would. No. You'd come to work and tell us you cranked every single morning.

SPEAKER_04 51:40

How do you know if I was being serious or not? Because your hand was sticky.

SPEAKER_05 51:46

What was it you told me last week? You asked me if you've ever been sexually assaulted. Yeah. I asked Derek on the pot. That's right. Yeah. Just by myself. Oh my god, that was so funny. I know Gavin has been violently sexually assaulted by himself. Oh, I sure have. And me. Yeah, it's especially Derek.

SPEAKER_04 52:14

Alright, boys.

Safari Park Chaos And Kangaroo Fight Talk

SPEAKER_05 52:15

I think that's a good spot to start rap or up. Can I request an outro? What? Derek.

SPEAKER_06 52:21

I want you to sing with arms wide open by Creed for the outro.

SPEAKER_05 52:24

No, that's you. No, it's you. It's our guest. You're a guest. I'm the guest.

SPEAKER_06 52:29

I want to hear the Hulk sing it.

SPEAKER_05 52:34

You just squeaked on my chair. Speaking of chairs, he was supposed to buy us some nice comfy ones. And these are pretty comfy. At the start of this freaking podcast. No, we agreed we were gonna wait a few podcasts. See if it's a few. Well, this is episode 11. Yeah, and it hasn't taken off, so I should probably buy chairs. Yeah, that's pretty good. Your numbers keep you told me it was like almost a hundred last week. What? A hundred what? Followers. Oh, I didn't. Yes, you did.

SPEAKER_00 53:09

I told you we have over a hundred on Facebook.

SPEAKER_05 53:12

This was where mom and dad got a divorce. He won't sign the baseball. Look at that. Oh, are we gonna start doing them every other week or are we still doing that? That's up to you. You haven't figured that part out yet. Well, if one week we uh miss one, guys, it's because we decided to do it every other.

SPEAKER_03 53:37

Yeah, no one texts me, no one invited me over. I don't want to invite myself. I don't know what you're doing.

SPEAKER_05 53:43

I don't do anything on the weekends. Why are you texting me? Because you were probably doing something. I was, but. Yeah, I texted you and you put me and I gotta go to dinner. I'm smoking a brisket.

SPEAKER_03 53:57

Something like that.

SPEAKER_05 53:59

I'm gonna ride my Harley. I'm going up north and ride my Harley.

SPEAKER_03 54:04

I can't hang out with you.

SPEAKER_05 54:06

That's two weekends, though. I'm so sorry. I went I went to the Safari park.

SPEAKER_03 54:11

That's what I without me. Yeah, we're he keeps telling me, oh yeah, we need to go to the safari park, we need to go through the drive-thru safari. I post story.

SPEAKER_05 54:21

Dude, I saw it on Instagram.

SPEAKER_06 54:24

I didn't post it.

SPEAKER_04 54:25

I know. Let's go again. Not one freaking ostrich? I think that's what it is. He came in, wham! Fucking smacked the food cup.

SPEAKER_05 54:35

Then he did it again. Bam, big. Ostriches would come in and just like peck it hard and then pull back. But I think it's the emus, is it? Okay, well, I thought it was an emu, but I was told it was an ostrich. Who told you that? Is that are the emus really big? Ostriches, I think, are the biggest, and then the emo. I don't know, the big bird. The biggest bird. Here, we'll look up an emus. Biggest bird there, reach through that and would go wham! And damn near spill your food bowl. Not the Laramie! The Lariat. Not a Dodge guy.

SPEAKER_02 55:07

Sorry, not a Ford guy.

SPEAKER_05 55:09

Well, you should be. No, I shouldn't be. You should be a pop can truck in front of me. Who's Dodge beat Who's Ford at her street legal race in Mexico on the way here? I didn't even take her out a second. Well, you didn't. I can smell the oil behind you. What are you looking up? Emu's. Are you gonna look it up? Well, no, Lemu, the emu from the commercial. Yeah, is that what it was? I don't know. Dick, you can't look at it. That's what I thought it was, but I don't know the difference between an ostrich and an emu. How are you gonna look up emus on pornhub.com?

SPEAKER_03 55:44

All I know You would not believe the videos. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:49

All I know is there was kangaroos there. The damn things didn't do a frickin' thing the entire time I was there.

SPEAKER_05 55:56

Maybe they're fake. Oh, they're real. Yeah, kangaroos. And that was only that it's pouched. That was pretty bad. That's pretty sick. A joey?

SPEAKER_06 56:03

Yeah. Did you know in Australia if you hit a kangaroo in your car because they like deer around here? And the baby flies out. You're supposed to kill the baby.

SPEAKER_07 56:12

Really?

SPEAKER_06 56:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 56:14

That's pretty metal. That's a nice, interesting factoid. I can't I learned that. I wanna go in Australia. I'm not gonna kill the joey. I'm gonna take it home with me.

SPEAKER_06 56:24

That thing would just take over your life. Dude, them kangaroos are pretty badass. Yeah, but like they're kind of dicks.

SPEAKER_05 56:31

Why? I think you should just slowly switch Dell's cats to kangaroos. Like, just one at a time and see if she notices.

SPEAKER_04 56:38

We're gonna put up a fence around her property. We're gonna combine my five acres with yours. And we're gonna have free range kind of kangaroos.

SPEAKER_05 56:48

Free range on ten acres. Free range with a fence. Yeah. And we'll make it a five foot high tall fence. Yeah, until Derek goes out there to feed it, the big old mega kangaroo comes out there and starts whooping his. I would pay to see that. I want to fight a kangaroo. I would spend every dollar. You are one-handed. You cannot fight a kangaroo. Before I broke my neck, I could still fight a kangaroo. I would spend every dollar in my bank account to see Derek fight a kangaroo. A male jacked kangaroo. Okay. You want me to jack a male kangaroo? No, I don't want you to jack. A jacked big fucking kangaroo. The one that doesn't look like you. Yeah. Oh, okay. Exact opposite. We need to get one that looks like Derek. It's kind of slouched. It kind of limps or hops with a limp. If you give me all the money in your big coat, I will order a kangaroo and I'll fight it. I get to choose the kangaroo. This kangaroo has to be. But we have to wear me and the kangaroo have to wear boxing gloves so it's not animal abuse.

SPEAKER_04 57:51

Like it's just a fair, like it's consenting to someone the fucker stands on its tail and starts kicking you. That's consensual.

SPEAKER_06 57:58

What is it that Mike Tyson was gonna fight? Was it a tiger or was it a kangaroo? He's got a tiger. Well, no, but back in the old days before me, Mike Tyson was trying to fight something. I don't know if it was a kangaroo. Two kangaroos are sweet. I think it might have been. But they wouldn't let him, I said it was animal abuse. Mike Tyson would have whooped it.

SPEAKER_05 58:21

Yeah, Peter would be after you if you find a kangaroo. Mike Tyson.

SPEAKER_06 58:26

Peter. Peter and Mike Tyson.

SPEAKER_05 58:29

Alright, good night, crew. I'm hungry. Oh what was that? Oh. Do it. Come on. The people you're sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing. The earth is our mother. We must take care of her.