What It Means to Be a Loving Critic, Adult Tantrums & the Thought Bubbles That Define Us

Erin, Megan, Cat and Clare get into what it actually means to be a loving critic, and why the older you get, the fewer you have. When do you actually start feeling like an adult? (Spoiler: you don't.) Plus, we play the thought bubble game (three words that sum up each sister) and get into everything we're trying, buying, and loving this week.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hey fam, welcome to Relative Chaos. We're five sisters spanning every stage of life, having the honest, unfiltered conversations that only happen when you've known each other since the beginning. So call your sisters. We need to discuss. Hey, sisters. Hi. Hey, sisters. Hi. Okay. That was really super hype. Oh, is that really? That was basical. I'm sorry. Are you side texting? Um. Yeah, off your phone. But you're side texting Claire, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00 0:31

You're not going to show you my phone. And you two are always side texting.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

You guys are the friggin' queens of it. You guys are like me and Aaron or me and Megan talked. So we discussed. Okay. When was the meeting going? Did we have a secret meeting that we didn't know about? Actually. I'm actually texting Claire. I was keeping up with my text because I have a million texts right now because one of my BFFs for life just had her baby today.

SPEAKER_03 1:00

So cute. Oh, another Georgia. I know. I know five people who have named their children Georgia. I'm a transitor. What can I say?

SPEAKER_00 1:09

But like I was gonna say, I was waiting for you to drop the detail where it's like after I named my obviously.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

No, it is such an amazing name, and it's actually so crazy because we've known each other since kindergarten, and now she has a baby. Oh my god,

Adulting

SPEAKER_02 1:24

it's the best. Now now I'm starting to feel old because I'm like, you are a child. Like, how do we have babies? Like that's really crazy to me. It's really crazy. Like, I've pictures of us from kindergarten, and now she has a child. It's pretty wild. I was watching how it goes full circle like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:45

I was watching this interview with Marcus Mumford, who, by the way, he is looking good. He is looking good.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

Looking good.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Yeah, he's had a nice glow up. But Katy's. Is he doing all the like the man? What's the thing they call it now? Looks maxing. No, he is like a wholesome artist. Do not put that bullshit onto him.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

I think he just like doesn't really drink a lot anymore. I don't drink a lot and I don't have a glow up. So what the okay, but the whole reason I bring it up is because he he gave an interview where he's like, I know I'm supposed to feel like the adult in the room, but when my parents are there, I'm like giving my kids to them, being like, Oh, you explain like what heaven is or what these like complicated things are, and you are very quickly thrown into being the adult when you don't feel like it once you have kids.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

When do you start feeling like an adult? Is my question because I feel like I really like you still feel like immature.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Like, for example, think I'm 18.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Yeah, that's really alarming because I don't I don't think you want to scary I feel like I'm 18. I also like still act like I'm 18. I you don't. I in some way I've been having this existential dread over the past week. I don't know what's been happening, but I'm like, I will have to support a family one day, and I have not prepared myself in the slightest for this. Look at Aaron and I.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Wait, what? Why are you having these thoughts? Because I just feel behind. I'm sorry. What was everybody doing when they were 28? You're not behind. Don't be ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

You're not behind at all. I don't even remember what you guys were doing at 28. I was like 12. I was exactly I was exactly where you are right now at 28.

SPEAKER_04 3:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

Yourself, take it from me. Do not benchmark yourself. Otherwise, I would have had if I were Megan, I was like a kid and a half already. That's fucked. Which is super crazy.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

Yeah, I really did feel like a child bride.

SPEAKER_02 3:42

Child bride. A child mom and a child bride for sure. Super crazy. Yeah, you were and then Aaron, you were like young, but like not for I was like slightly below age. You were like the you were like the average.

SPEAKER_03 3:54

Yep. But yeah, the answer is you never feel like an adult even last night. I was feeling good going from this weekend because I'm on day five of solo parenting, and I'm like, oh, it's not that bad. And then the kids were absolutely demonic last night, where I almost started crying at bedtime because they were being so bad. And so I literally called mom and I was which I never do because I feel like I can handle it. And I called mom, I was like, Hey, uh, you want to give me a little help here? And you know what she started doing? No way. This is some trend on Instagram. She goes, Oh, goldfish, blue goldfish, red goldfish. I'm like, what the hell are you doing? What? And but it worked, or you yell, or you say Monica. Like you just say a random name and what that tells me.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

You know what that tells me? Mom and dad are spending too much time on too much time on the tickety twice. Way too much time.

SPEAKER_03 4:45

I was just gonna ask, did it work though, with the kids? It did. It absolutely did. I think it gets them out of whatever like complete reptilian brain they're in when they're having that level of a meltdown, and it distracts them. And then they just fell asleep. And then he just got in a different path. He wasn't like perfect, but he wasn't at the level of interesting. Do you think that works with adult crash-outs?

SPEAKER_00 5:10

If I'm crashing out and I just start screaming random words, I think somebody else has to scream them at you. Someone has to scream them at you.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

Okay. Like if I'm with you and we're on a walk and you're crashing out, and I'm just Jessica, and you're like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. And then you get distracted. Yeah. If I just start meowing

Crash Outs

SPEAKER_02 5:29

at you.

SPEAKER_03 5:29

I will say that I feel like adult tantrums are really a thing. There are times where I will catch myself and I'm like, Oh, I have one every single night in front of Toby.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

Yeah. Like clockwork.

unknown 5:39

Literally.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Like what's the most recent one? I just depends on the day and the mood, but I usually just take out all my aggression at the end of the day that I've been bottling up deep inside on him. God love Toby.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

Is he immune to it, would you say, at this point? Yeah, completely. Really? So he doesn't like take it personally.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

No, I I think unfortunately it gets where I'm coming from. Like tonight he was like, I need to vacuum right this second. And I was like, our kids are screaming, and I so appreciate the fact that you'd like to do that. But no, it's just bad timing.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

Appropriate time and place.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

Appropriate time and place. What was your crash out?

SPEAKER_00 6:25

I've been crashing out on the daily. I don't know why. It's I'm trying to.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

But didn't you say that was like a hormonal and like you're getting your period and you're just like over?

SPEAKER_00 6:34

But then when it's like week three and you're like, oh, I'm getting my period, and then I'm like, I used it's all of the phases. It's wait, this is just gonna be every single week. There's a different menstrual phase that I have to go through that's gonna make me insane.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

I have my period, that's why I'm being a bitch.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

That's why isn't it always insightful when that happens? Absolutely, but I'm having things where and I think part of it is also relearning how to be in a relationship, but like Andrew will say some things to me in a turn in a way that I don't like in the oh yeah, irrational anger that I get, and it's so mean. He was playing this prank on me. No, literally, he was joking around on FaceTime. He kept being like, There's someone behind you, and like I it kept freaking me out. I literally hung up the phone and I wouldn't. I don't blame you.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

That would piss me, that would piss me off. Just stop.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

I just think it's not a funny joke.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

I'm in a bad mood now.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

I I am just feeling like I'm getting to the phase in my relationship and I'm married. Like stuff doesn't trigger me like that as much as it used to, but it took me a while. Yeah. I think it's also like you're just getting being in a relationship with someone and then like not answer to someone, but you have so much habits in your life, and like you're learning to like coexist.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

And I'm also it's a lot quite used to having my evenings completely free to myself, and now that's and I love that it's not that way anymore, but it's also like recollecting.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

It kind of is because you guys live on separate coasts, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

But then we like work.

Relationship Comms

SPEAKER_00 8:15

I'm like watching a show, and then when he calls, it's the end of his work day, and so I'm like, oh, okay, like excited. I want to talk on the phone, but then it's like right in the middle of my nighttime routine.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

I wonder how long before you're gonna be like, Love you, but like I don't need to talk to you every night on the phone.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Yeah, I don't know. I was gonna ask that because it's impressive to me that you guys talk every night for like I'm like I'd be like, hi how was your day? Good to chat going.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Your new relationship and you live on different coasts. I'm at a point where like I live with Toby, and when he's asked me how my day is, I can't even manage to say something beyond it was good, it was annoying, it was bad. Like, I just don't want to elaborate. That has nothing to do with him. Oh, I don't either, yeah, I don't either.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

I just don't want to rehash. Yeah, it was fine.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

You like you live separate lives at work, and like the effort of having to try and explain why something happened or how it's relevant, it's just too much. And I'm just like it's it was fine, like nothing eventful.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

I was telling Toby about work stuff the other day, and he was like, Oh wow, oh wow, and I was like, Yeah, you just have no clue what's going on. Oh wow, in a way where he was like, That's so didn't under he just didn't understand how much we've got going on and whatever, how much we're growing and the scale and whatever. And he was very nice about it, but we were in the car together, which we without our children, which is a rare occurrence. So we're actually able to was it like awkward?

SPEAKER_00 9:48

Were you like what do we talk about?

SPEAKER_01 9:49

No, but you know what I noticed about Toby and I is we always sit in the car without music on. We always sit. That's kind of sweet. That's fucking weird. You know what's really you know it's cute, though?

SPEAKER_03 9:59

Yeah, as someone who drives a lot in cars with Aaron and Toby in the summer, they hold hands. It's very sweet. Or it's more so Toby putting his hand at the center console and forcing Aaron to be able to. Well no, I love holding his hand. No, I know it's very sweet.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

Yeah, but when you guys uh when you're like touching each other, we're like I know it's I disagree.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

I find Aaron and Toby to like Aaron herself is not an affectionate person, but Aaron and Toby together have pockets of affection.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

Where pockets pockets, keyword being pockets, keyword pockets, like a front, a tiny front pocket, not the big back pocket.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

I feel like Aaron and Toby are the most affectionate couple out of all of you guys.

SPEAKER_02 10:41

Really? Oh, I disagree.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

Megan and James are not that affectionate.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

Um no. I when they have pockets, it's really smoochy. Smoochy, smoochy. And that's most that's mostly James. Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't think I'm like that. No, no, it's mostly James. But when when Aaron and Toby do, and it's like it's it's mostly Aaron. Like even when I try and hug you, it's like uh you're hugging a dead fish.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

You guys always criticize the way I hug. I like hugging you. I don't like what do you want me to do?

SPEAKER_03 11:15

It's the tap. It's the tap. Like you go in for a big hug, and you I'm like, love me.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

I'll work on the hugging.

SPEAKER_03 11:21

Add it to your list of improvements.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

I have a long list of things to improve, believe me. I know.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

No, we love Tony, and he's such a supportive king. Totally. He's your he's your number one advocate.

SPEAKER_03 11:35

You guys work very well together.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

Or she's a critic, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 11:38

Because you're both like weird and robotic, but also then lovey and fun.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

Perfect

Loving Critics

SPEAKER_01 11:45

combo, totally perfect combo. No, I think it's good to have critics in your circle. And I feel like typically speaking, it's usually a spouse because I think as you get older with friendships, it becomes a little bit harder to offer I don't want to say criticism because that's not the right word, but tell people the truth when they're asking for your opinion or giving feedback. Like totally my Dana and I probably talk like three times a week, even though we never see each other, which is so great. We have five minute phone calls and that's a lot. Yeah, it's great. And honestly, she's really amazing about it. But a couple months ago, she she has just moved, but she was looking for a while to move towns and she was very stressed out about the process. And when she first started, she was voicing her frustrations about couldn't she couldn't find a house she liked. And I was like, You might just have to compromise. You might have to, in this case, there was a house she liked, but it had low ceilings. I was like, you might just need to cope with having a house with lower ceilings. You will get over it. I live in a house like that. It is fine. And she goes, Aaron, you know what? Today's one of those days where I need you to just lie to me. I don't need you to be direct. So I'm gonna get off the phone right now. And she hung up on me. Respect, respect, total respect. But all my friends say to me, they're like, you're just not who we call when they want to be called old. Yeah, or you're just very direct, and we need to know what we know what we're getting into with you, so we only call you for specific things. But I and that's with my old friends from college and high school. And I think in my newer relationships, I actually do not take on that role at all because of the very thing we just mentioned, which is I think a lot of people can get uncomfortable with that.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

I think there's something to be said. The amount of time logged into your friendships plays a massive role. The discourse that I have with my home friends is completely different than the types of conversations I'm having with some of my school friends. Me and my home friends, it's a complete we do it in a more Gen Z way where we still use Snapchat for some reason in my home friend group. And just this week, me and my friends were sending vlogs back and forth. Someone was like, I'm really struggling with where I'm at in my career. I don't know what to do. What do you guys think? And everyone just gave a video back, chiming in their opinion and had very different takes. Like your home friend group is required to care.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

But see, I feel hot home and college are equal for me.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

I have my few from college that it's the same.

SPEAKER_03 14:25

Did you feel like the video responses were like a sandwich method where you're packing in like the hard thing in the middle, so it's hard to suss it out, or people pretty direct?

SPEAKER_00 14:34

I guess a little bit sandwich, but that's just I think the subject was not that serious. Yeah, the vlogs are more like can range from I don't know what to do about this and I'm freaking out, or just story sharing. So you do serious Snapchats? No, if I'm ever crying, that would be crazy. Okay, cool. But but yeah, go ahead, Mike.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

It's good that you have that because I do think that as you get older, the social cost of you're not seeing someone all the time, of telling someone something that's hard becomes higher, and people are just like, it's just not worth it. I'm not gonna ruin what we have to tell you the hard thing.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

But I would also actually argue that it doesn't have anything to do with seeing somebody all the time. There are people I see in my daily life that I see more than my older friends who I feel more comfortable being honest with.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

And I feel that it is hard to cross that threshold of having a level of friendship where you can speak candidly with one another because I think I'm so concerned that I might offend someone or hurt somebody's feelings. And I'm like, it's generally just not worth it, even if your intentions are good.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

I also think there's a very hard fine line. I think in navigating young adult female friendships, emphasis on young adult. I think I was the type of friend who was vocal, like really held nothing back, especially when it comes to your friends' partners and things like that. That is a line that you have to learn like how to cross, not to cross. I think I had a friend who we really didn't like her boyfriend at the time. I had spoken so directly to her about how much I didn't like her boyfriend, and it really had a toll on our friendship. It was not good. And then I think now I had a different friend come to me and express, hey, I'm not sure in my relationship anymore. And you have to take a completely different approach. I think we're just being like, whatever you choose to do, I'll support you. If you're feeling this way, it's like you have to back into I think it's in that specific instance, Claire.

SPEAKER_03 16:52

I think when you're younger, you let it rip. But as you get older, it is leading them to it's asking them a question so they come up with it on their own.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

Like you saying that about how you were extremely afraid, like in college. I used to be the same way. And looking back on, I like can think of specific instances where I was like very direct with my friends if like they were acting a certain way and I was like, it's not a good look. Yeah. I like look back and cringe so hard because I'm like, who the fuck did I think I was? To like be able to tell them and like I regret those moments. I think at the end of the day, the point is it comes down what is your intention? Yeah. I think when I said those things, I was saying it because I had big feelings and I want to just be direct with people to see your point of view. You wanted them to see your point of view. My point of view, I thought mattered more than it. Yeah. At the end of the day, like you're a friend, but no one really well gives a fuck. And I just was like too aggressive about it. Whereas now it's very I will give it to you straight and be supportive, but like at the end of the day, all that matters is your friend is happy and you are helping them get there. But I feel like back in the day it was just like I just talk to talk.

SPEAKER_03 18:13

But I think as people get over, they lean far, yeah, they lean too far away from being a loving critic as you get older. I found it.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

I don't know. I think it depends it.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Like I think if someone solicits you for the advice, I would give them as directive an opinion as possible without but just you wait, the dynamics really shift when kids come into play. And so, like, what's an example? There's no specific example, but I would say that very rarely do you have an adult relationship that is not so somehow intertwined with your spouse or your kids. Like I have a couple of friends who are just friends independently of Toby and my kids, but I could count, I couldn't even fill up one hand with them from my adult life. And so I think when a relationship has so many other factors at play, it's not I think really what it comes down to is almost like nobody has time to have these kinds of conversations. And if something comes up where somebody does something and you're like, oh, I didn't like love how that felt, you're like, this isn't worth talking about. Because either you're like, I either I probably misinterpreted that and I need to get over myself, or you're just like, I don't feel I don't have the energy to engage in this type of conversation unless it's so significant that you're like, it's worth the risk. But I think it's a lot of it is energy. It's so much of your energy is absorbed by your immediate family and the demands of your immediate family, and then the demands of your job if you have one. And so I think it's very hard for people to speak honestly with each other.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

I also think though, there's a level of comfortability you have with the people who are going to be your loving critics. If someone I didn't feel I hadn't established that kind of relationship with and they were just giving me this honest critique, not that I would feel offended by it, I would just be like, oh, that's interesting that they're being so bold about this feedback. You're looser friends. I think you really have to be like a very close confidant or person to be giving your harshest and most honest feedback.

SPEAKER_03 20:25

I think ultimately it does people a disservice because it makes them start to lack a level of self-awareness.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Not only that, what I would actually say is I think again, as you get older and it's nobody's fault, it's just everybody's busy. And when you interact with people, like you might have a million other friends in the group or you might have a million kids running around. So it's really hard, I think, to have opportunities to have very frank and vulnerable and honest conversations with people. Like you're building these friendships and like little tiny snippets over time of like 20 minutes on the playground, going to a two-hour dinner with a group of friends, like versus your college and your high school friends. You spent years spending tons of time with these people and being completely absorbed with them because you didn't have the responsibilities you now have as an adult. Like, even if you don't have kids or a spouse, you have your job. Like you're not hanging out in a dorm room together, or you're not like hanging out at school all day together. And I think the sad thing becomes is as a result, it's hard for it to have a certain level of depth. And that bums me out because I would like every single one of my friends to be a loving critic. Like I would prefer people to just tell me how they feel instead of say one thing and mean something completely different.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Completely agree. I guess my question is what are we defining a loving critic as? Because I think there are just certain truths that are harder to deliver that I feel comfortable coming from certain people. However, I want every single one of like my friends in my circle to be having honest conversations with me. I definitely don't want anything to be fake, but what's the line?

SPEAKER_01 21:56

Let me let's put it this way you will learn it's hard to comment on somebody's spouse unless you absolutely. Absolutely must because right you're because you're worried about your friend or because it necessitates it, but you're right, you can't go back. And same goes for kids, it's just not a thing you comment on. I think, unless if your friend is asking for very specific advice, or again, if the situation really calls for a conversation, I've never been in that position myself, so I don't know what it's like, but you really don't want to go there.

SPEAKER_00 22:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

I'm talking about more trivial things. If I'm acting a certain way and it upsets my friend, instead of them being passive aggressive about it, or like thinking that I did something to slight them and then going to talk to somebody else about it, I wish they would just be like, you said something and it really pissed me off, and I could explain myself. Like 100%.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

You can want to have everyone be a loving critic, but a lot of relationships are not functional that way. Like not everyone's mature enough to have those conversations.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

I think what being an adult, and I don't know what age this occurs. I think it occurs at different ages for people, different people. Like for me, I think I'm it's something I've realized more recently. And I don't even know that I believe that's a function of having kids or a spouse. I think it's just like where I'm at in my life in terms of the work I've done on myself and how I kind of view others. I think that there was a time, I think many women are like this, where I probably was just very judgmental of others. And if somebody did something to upset me, I just took it personally instead of reflecting on like what they had going on in their own lives. And I think that as I've gotten older, I've tried to treat people a little bit more generously in terms of being like, you know what? Very rarely is somebody trying to be a dick. I just I do believe that. We all have shit going on, we all have our own stressors. So there's probably usually a reason why somebody acts a certain way. So A, I think it's important to do that. But B, I also think it's really important and healthy to put friendships in buckets, to be like, I love this person, but our the nature of our friendship is like talking about dumb shit all day long. And I'm okay with that. I don't ever need it to be more than that. Or I love this person, but it's a one-way relationship. In some cases, you might just be okay with that. In other cases, you might be like, I need space and I'm gonna distance myself because they can't give back, or I'm gonna make the effort and say something to them.

SPEAKER_03 24:21

But I think different people fill your cup in different ways.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Yeah, but I think what we're all we're proving the point. Like the reason why people operate this way is because it is a lot easier to not have these kinds of conversations because a lot of times it's simply not worth it.

SPEAKER_02 24:35

But I what which is why we have sis. Like if I had, and this is the tough part. It's like if I was doing something, and let's say it's not significant, it's more like a personality trait that's annoying. I would hope to God you guys would tell me, because there's not many other people that would. However, I feel like sometimes there's instances I'm probably different around you guys than I am with my friends. Like we're having different conversations.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

Not only that, but even within our with even within our family, the sibling dynamics vary. Like Claire is probably more honest with you or Emma than she would be with me or Megan. It would probably take her a lot. I'm not wrong.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

Because we're your older sisters. I just started telling Kat things, don't I?

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Yeah, no, but you guys took a while. It took a while. Whereas like Kat, I actually think that even though you're seven years younger than me, we've been at a point for a while where you'd probably shoot me straight. Hopefully.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

Yeah. You're a little scary sometimes. Yeah. For the most part. I think I'm no, you are you are generally very easy, so I don't really feel like I have to shoot you straight about it. Are you guys straight if it came up?

SPEAKER_03 25:53

I think I I think about it that it's taking the effort to say something. But Kat, going back to your point, I do think that is the great benefit of sisters because if you have the right relationship, you can have those hard, honest conversations. And I even think about I'll never forget when Aaron and Jane came to me. I was postpartum with Charlie. I had never had postpartum depression or the baby blues. And I was like, yeah, I'm stressed, but like I'm making it through. Like, I'm okay. Like, I'm okay. I'm okay. And they came to me and they're like, you're not well. Like you, we're gonna have a hard conversation with you and we're gonna help you help yourself. And I am so grateful for that because I think having someone who, again, loving critic is the key term where they shine a spotlight on the things that you are avoiding or you may not be aware of and help you confront them. And I wish more people had this because I agree, as you get older, the number of loving critics you have around you starts to fade.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

And I also think it's tough because, again, for many people, in an ideal situation, your number one loving critic is your spouse. I think unfortunately, not all relationships have that kind of dynamic. But even like in my situation where Toby very much is a loving critic, he's also a guy, and he is not attuned to a lot of the thing, like postpartum question. Like I emotional stuff, like I was in a similar spot where like it was so bad for me with Jack, and I had no clue what was going on. And like Toby, I I think I remember Toby knowing that like I was sad, but I think he more was like, I think she's sad because we moved to Boston from New York. And it I think it I don't know. No, I I think it required like some female, a female touch to be like, no, this is like a little bit more nuanced than that, because dudes can't relate to that because they've never had kids.

SPEAKER_00 27:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:47

I also find that if James is giving me feedback, there are times where I'm like feedback. But generally, I would say 80% of the time I have a really hard time. Oh, me too.

SPEAKER_02 27:58

I'm just like not that like tit for tat is healthy, but it's hard not to be like, okay, I hear your feedback, but let me shed light on something that you do that you should pay attention to, yes, sir.

SPEAKER_03 28:09

I feel like it gets better with age because I think it would be great if we could receive it in a more unbiased way from our spouses.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

But obviously, you're like I think the thing that bums me about the whole loving critic thing and having it be increasingly rare, because you're right, when you're in college, I just remember college and high school, like the way we would talk to each other was just a lot of different hinge, but also it was like it was pure, like you just like there's a lot of audacity, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

Exactly. But some of my college friends never let me forget some of the shit I did. And I was like, I like get embarrassed.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

No, like I would say shit to random fucking people too, inappropriate.

SPEAKER_02 28:47

Oh, me too. I got in like we just thought we were like so fucking cool on our high horse and being like I can say whatever I can do.

SPEAKER_01 28:55

But your whole point of talking to talk, I think the point of being a love it loving critic is that you are saying something to somebody, not because you want to hear yourself talk and pass judgment, but because you want to help that person because you care about them. Yeah, yeah. You're speaking with intention, you're speaking with intention, and I also think that when I was in my 20s, I wasn't super receptive to feedback from others, and I am at a point where I actually welcome it. So, of all the times in my life to receive feedback from friends, I wish it was now because I would be I'm so much more receptive to it than I used to be. So will you guys like tell me if I'm annoying you or something?

SPEAKER_02 29:32

For sure. I find I often do. Yeah, you do. Yeah, we've been pretty good about it lately, though. Not as many cat fights.

SPEAKER_00 29:39

We like never fight anymore. It's really beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

Yeah. When did you guys oh my god, therapy, man? I know just kidding. I went to therapy. Do you guys go to couples therapy or something? We should each other.

SPEAKER_00 29:51

Could you imagine? Moment therapy. I'm like therapy.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

I'm like, I've been to one session, but I'm on the track. I just like your therapy.

SPEAKER_00 30:00

Therapy talk at cat, and I think she's just absorbing it. I'm ingesting it.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

Something softer.

SPEAKER_03 30:06

When I think of your personality, though, I wouldn't be like those some people who are talking heads, regurgitating therapy jargon. I wouldn't put that over you. I don't think of you as like that.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

Yeah, I'm just like an empath. That's just me.

SPEAKER_03 30:19

Tully kidding.

SPEAKER_01 30:20

Totally. What does it even mean to be an empath again? I can't remember.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

Okay, I'm so happy you asked that question because I was thinking the same thing. Which is why I didn't say anything.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

Which is like Does that mean you have empathy? It means, yes. Being being sympathetic is almost has more of a condescending note attached to it where it's all like I feel really bad for you, kind of thing. Shoes like that. An empath is more like putting yourself in another person's shoes and trying to imagine how they could be feeling in that situation.

SPEAKER_03 30:53

An empath is an individual highly attuned to the emotions and energies of others, often absorbing their feelings as their own.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

Yeah, no, I also I think I realized that Claire is a tough motherfucker to fight with. So it's just I got to that point. I was like, it's not worth it. I have no energy. You're not energy, and therefore I will avoid. Wait, why? Because she's stubborn? You no, no,

Female Rage

SPEAKER_02 31:20

you might be worse than me. In what way? No, I'm just saying. Are we gonna go down this road? Yeah, let's do it. Do it. Okay, okay. No, you just are like uh your your tone can be like a little like aggressive and scary. It can be aggressive. I can. It can just be like, what are you talking about? Like I'm about to fucking bitch slap you.

SPEAKER_03 31:46

Like gently. Like we're somehow on the street, not your sister.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

A hundred percent. It just literally that's when I talk about this intense fire within me that gets turned on. It just intense. Yeah, I have I yeah, see, I think that's almost more mom than dad. You're sorry if you don't like my tone. That's just the heat. There it is.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

There it is. No, and that's what it's hard to get, and I'm not saying I'm an angel, but I'm saying it's hard to find a point of like ultimate reason. You know what I mean? But I think we've also gotten to a point we can fight.

SPEAKER_00 32:27

But I think Kat also has this thing where I am totally more aggressive in my tone a hundred percent. But when you have in your mind that something is the way to me, you will never and me and Kellen talk about this all the time. You it will take it would take a Mac truck to get you to move away from that opinion. It's set in stone.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

Mm-hmm. Well, you have

Passive Aggressive or Forward Aggressive?

SPEAKER_01 32:55

a little bit more passive aggressiveness, I think, than Claire. Cat does? Yes, cat's so passive aggressive. Really? Yeah, because I think you would have been passive aggressive. I'm just straight up aggressive. Yeah, you're forward aggressive. Claire's aggressive in her tone. Cat is that yeah, actually, I could totally see that. Because I think it's like you have that fire, like I also have it too, and you're trying to bury it. And I can't. You can't, so I don't have the energy to be forward aggressive like Claire. So I guess I'm passive aggressive versus passive aggressive. I gotta tell you. Yeah, because I don't think I'm intentionally trying to not pass. And I fucking the thing I hate most in this life, passive aggressiveness. I rather I'd rather have somebody wrest me down in like a very aggressive manner than be passive aggressive towards me.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

Okay, I'm

Thought Bubbles

SPEAKER_00 33:49

so happy you couldn't. I agree.

SPEAKER_03 33:50

Wait, but Claire, this conversation reminded me of that funny story you told me when you guys were all when you were out with your guy friends at the bar. What was that thing he did to you? Because when you were talking about you're an empath.

SPEAKER_00 34:04

This was a couple weeks ago. We were talking about we were talking about reading. I was getting shit on. One of my friends' husbands always gives me shit for the books that I read, because it's just a kindle full of smut, which whatever.

SPEAKER_01 34:21

So be it.

SPEAKER_00 34:23

Who cares? And I think it was just my turn to be roasted at the table, which I always find fun and refreshing. And he had a funny way of summing it up. He was like, I just look at you and I see three bubbles that appear above your head. It's like smut, Harry Potter, and Irish. And then my other friends were all chiming in, they were like, and just like big family and all these other different things, which I found it very humbling to have the first three things someone's gonna summarize me as be Harry Potter, Smut, and Irish. Irish kind of look the part. Claire Kelly. Clark Kelly. I looked apart a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 35:07

I feel like we should do this for each person. When I think of you, like one of yours is like warm blanket. Like you are the person that everyone like cuddles up to. I honestly was thinking about the way your and James's relationship, especially going when James is more so going out more in New York and Tucket and stuff. Big James, Jimmy. Yeah, big James, Jimmy, yeah. You guys were like, I feel like ride or dies in a lot of ways. And I think you're a good glue that people gravitate towards because you have that.

SPEAKER_01 35:34

I have more of a she's more normal than the rest of us, let's be honest. Yeah, she's like more warm and fuzzy.

SPEAKER_00 35:40

Not to come back to the empath thing, but I think with Jimmy, especially, he feels more comfortable sharing. I don't want to say confiding in me, because it's not like he's ever confiding in me.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

But no, but you're an easy person to confide with because I think you are like a cozy blanket. Like people want to sleep.

SPEAKER_00 35:56

I also am a person who I think I welcome in the sense where I really enjoy talking about those things with people. Like, I there's nothing I love more than sitting down at a table and like getting into the deep stuff. Let's get into it, let's get into it. But I'll take warm blanket. I just I love to chat with the girls. Do you like those Lola blankets?

SPEAKER_01 36:19

Speaking of warm blankets, I do. I have one in my corner.

SPEAKER_00 36:22

Megan got me on.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

Oh my god, do you know how many people in the last month have been like, dude, I know they're weird looking, but you gotta get a Lola blanket.

SPEAKER_03 36:30

Yeah, Aaron, and I cannot agree more.

SPEAKER_01 36:33

Extremely cozy.

SPEAKER_03 36:34

Wait, what else would you guys add for Claire besides warm blanket, or does that really capture it? Irish warm blanket, Harry Potter, and Smut. I agree. Baker. Baker, yeah.

unknown 36:44

Baker.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

Glue glue is a really good one. I would glue is a really good one, but I would also just say normal makes you sound unexciting. I just mean you're very you're just stable. Even keeled and even keeled, and like you are a level-headed person. Like you, again, as Toby says, you're the most normal Kelly sister. Yes, yes. And actually, he doesn't say you're the most normal, he says you're the least crazy. Yeah, so true. Fair because you do have crazy in you, which is what makes you good. And people that don't have a little crazy in them are just boring.

SPEAKER_00 37:14

So yeah, my crazy is my intense streak with that underlying rage. Disgust, my underlying rage. And I think you're very loving.

SPEAKER_01 37:24

You're very loving.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

I feel that I'm loving. I feel that way. Super loving. I have a lot of love. You do have a lot of love to give. I just like I love a snuggle, which is not a common theme in this family. I think I think I got all of that. I don't think anyone else got it. Not one.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

Mom, mine and dad just aren't like that. If you think about it, like neither of them are. I think that's where I got it from. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:49

Like I think, because this is also part of when I think if we're gonna do everyone's Aaron's thought bubble for me. I wish I had another like word for it, but just like CEO is what comes from CEO.

SPEAKER_03 38:04

H B I C, you know what? She's the pack leader, like very much a wolf, like fierce, but very loyal and protective.

SPEAKER_02 38:11

I like H B I C H B I C, I think is good. Had bitch in charge, yeah. The fact that you, Aaron, didn't know what that was. I was like, it's amazing. It's what I'm gonna you embody that term.

SPEAKER_00 38:24

You do because I think it's just you are so on it all the time and always are the leader of the pack that in moments where you wouldn't be, I'm sure dad is like, what the f how the fuck do I proceed?

SPEAKER_02 38:36

If bad you always you have a lot of conviction in everything that you say. So I'm like, you could literally say something completely wrong, and I'd be like, Oh, yeah. Honestly.

SPEAKER_01 38:50

A funny story about past life. I was a cult leader. Oh, I forgot about this. Shut up, that would make sense. That was one of your past lives. I had a couple past lives where I was like a cult leader or yeah, makes so much sense.

SPEAKER_00 39:08

Yeah, I think that's right. Conviction with which you say things, it's okay, I'll be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 39:12

But luckily, you're in Henry, which is ironic because I like I really do have a lot of self-doubt. But I think doesn't everybody I agree?

SPEAKER_03 39:22

You don't show it. When I think of Erin, I think of my my word, my thought bubbles for her would be pack leader, direct, and I mean that in a positive way, and unhinged in a really fun way. Like when Erin's like all business, she's all business, she's focused on work. But when you like catch her when she's not in the work zone, you're fucking in unhinged and crazy, but in a very fun way. Like people are like, I think are you Aaron?

SPEAKER_02 39:48

Claire's graduation.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

Yes. Are those videos?

SPEAKER_02 39:52

Claire's graduation was a psychopath, and it was amazing. Absolutely treat. I know. I need to be more these days. You do.

SPEAKER_03 40:02

I let loose. Cats, I would say, and you've actually become less so of this, but I think you're pretty independent. And I think that's a product of being kind of like the less independent. No, I no, I mean that in Oh shoot. Oh no, no, I mean that in a very good way. I would say in our family growing up, you always rolled like you had your own room.

SPEAKER_01 40:21

You kind of like 100%, which mom will have a complex about for the rest of her life. It's because I was ignored as a child. I'm really cat, like it was always alone. I'm like, cat's fine, just relax.

SPEAKER_02 40:32

Wait, stop it. She says that she like brought it up.

SPEAKER_01 40:35

That was like a recluse as a child. Yeah, she's cat was always in her room because we were always fighting with Joey. And I was like, cat does not really have not wrong, but I don't think you have any deep-seated baggage. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:47

As she hesitates, you know, no, I mean that you have a hearing the fighting or map. Hearing the fighting definitely wasn't fun. Yeah, I fucking love chilling in my room alone.

SPEAKER_01 40:57

It's literally makes me so happy to be by myself. So I think independent is good and a compliment. I also think you're a cat in all ways. You're a cat in all ways. My cat cave.

SPEAKER_02 41:07

My room growing up was called the cat cave.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

You're also very you like me have become increasingly serious, I would say, over time. Like I think we are have a lot of similarities, and you but you're you're really funny. Yes, thank you so much. You're really funny.

SPEAKER_03 41:24

Like your impressions, like you gotta let those rip more.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

You got an awesome sense of humor. You're really funny and you're really loyal. And you're really type A. And I mean that as a compliment.

SPEAKER_02 41:36

Super type A. No, the type A has gotten a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 41:39

It is getting a little, I never noticed this about you, but Kat is way more type A than the rest of us. No, she's different than mom.

SPEAKER_02 41:45

Aaron, I bet if we like lived together for a summer, you would be like, Whoa, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 41:50

I'd probably like it, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 41:52

I just like when we had when you would like Emma how to share a bathroom with Kat one summer. Oh, I would. She'd be like, okay. Given that's a tough, I'll give her that. That's a tough group. But Kat would come and she'd be like, the droplets on the table. She would come in with a cloth. If you didn't have the cloth laid at the base of the sink every morning, she would. I'm pretty sure we were sharing with Joey at one point too. It was not good. I mean, that's just not right. It's wrong.

SPEAKER_02 42:20

Right. It's wrong. It was it's bad. I definitely like to the point where like now when I cook, like I have to clean up as I cook. Me too. Me too.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

My my goal is by the time the food is in the oven, the kitchen is spotless. It's kitchen is clean.

SPEAKER_03 42:32

Yeah, I've really gotten it. Yeah, so you brought up with your therapist in what capacity stuff.

SPEAKER_02 42:36

And I think there was like I think she asked, like, are like personality traits or like trigger, like she might have even said the word OCD, and I was like, I have probably like a little bit of a borderline OCD. And she gave, she like asked me for example. This is like crazy, but I was like, I'm not gonna deny it, but I have had some moments historically, and this isn't Custom, like this isn't like actual terrible OCD that people struggle with, but I have had some moments where like if I don't refold that piece of laundry perfectly, someone's gonna die.

SPEAKER_03 43:12

That's a little that's a little oh that's called catastrophic. That's called catastrophic anxiety.

SPEAKER_02 43:17

That's really weird. Yeah, no, and like if I leave that sometimes the apartment in a state or something, or like something isn't in the way it should be, I'm like something bad is gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 43:28

Oh, that was I it's called catastrophic anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 43:31

I have that if I didn't like refill my Brita, that's just bad karma.

SPEAKER_03 43:35

Like that was about as far. I would see certain numbers like on a clock, and I'd be like, oh my god, that means like something bad is gonna happen. Like you you basically create situations.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

Oh, 1111. Like I'm still obsessed with 1111. I don't care about it. Or six, six, six. If I see 1111 and I don't make a wish, I'm like, oh well, I'm fucked for life.

SPEAKER_02 43:56

If I see, actually, I'm like, when when I see six, six. You wouldn't see that on a clock. No, you wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 44:02

So if you do, then we have a bigger problem.

SPEAKER_02 44:04

Then we have a huge problem. Then I'm having hallucinations and the devil is coming for me.

Sharks and the Devil

SPEAKER_00 44:10

Kathy with me that her biggest fear is the devil, and that's just like it. It's never sat right with me.

SPEAKER_02 44:16

Just never think about the devil. Where have you been? My friends will always bring this up. It's really weird that that's your biggest fear. I thought your biggest fear was ghosts. Nope. It's sharks and the devil, right there. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 44:30

I didn't know it was a thing people were actually afraid of.

SPEAKER_02 44:33

It's intense.

SPEAKER_00 44:33

I've just think about the devil. My thought bubbles for cat are more so like grandma, napping. Like those are the ones that come to mind. Yes, I those are millennials.

SPEAKER_03 44:47

Like those are my what's wrong with being a millennial and sandwiches. Sandwiches as well.

SPEAKER_00 44:53

Yeah, we love a good Megan's are self-discussion.

SPEAKER_02 44:56

Leaning into millennial grandma. That's a compliment, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 44:59

You are millennial grandma and you're so good at it. Megan's three one AI.

SPEAKER_02 45:08

They were AI caretaker. Yes. That is the camp counselor.

SPEAKER_01 45:15

Like Megan is who if you are on life support and you want to live your life as a vegetable, Megan should be the executor of your will.

SPEAKER_00 45:22

100%.

SPEAKER_03 45:24

I actually found that I like something's wrong with me about the camp counselor thing because when we were in Turks, there was a there's the pool and there's a bunch of kids in it. And it was my kids who are four and five, and their older kids who are like seven, eight, nine, who the kids wanted to play together. I felt the need to organize Red Rover, like in the pool. That's not my role. All the kids loved it. And some guy came up to me. He's like, Are those your kids? And I was like, No, I'm just like creating games in the pool. And he's like, Hey, thanks. Do I have to pay?

SPEAKER_01 45:54

You couldn't catch me though. I I love my children so much, but I do not want to play with them, much less other people's children.

SPEAKER_03 46:02

No, I don't know what I don't know what compels me.

SPEAKER_01 46:05

Yeah, so camp counselor, caretaker, AI. This is a long-winded phrase, but back to what I said earlier about you treat people generously in that I think you tend to give others the benefit of the doubt more so than other people that I know. Like yeah, yeah, you're nice. You're nice. Yeah. You're nice to be able to do that. Yeah. No, but you're pure, you're you've always been pure.

SPEAKER_03 46:31

Pure of heart. You've always been pure hearted. I want to hope that people have good intentions, but unfortunately it's not always working.

SPEAKER_01 46:38

The fire that the rest of us have to suppress, you don't have. And I don't mean that like I don't rage. Yes. Yeah, if you do, it's like you you really have to do that. No, I don't think you have the rage with you.

SPEAKER_00 46:54

Like the rage where it's I you've never, you don't have the teeth grit.

SPEAKER_01 47:00

Yeah, you very rarely lose your shit. I've like trying to.

SPEAKER_03 47:03

Poor James, I feel like get it actually not so much anymore, but I I feel like when we were first married and like getting used to like living together, I was like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:14

You would you inherently are you inherently have a happy disposition.

SPEAKER_02 47:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 47:20

More so than the rest of us, I would say.

SPEAKER_02 47:23

We are all miserable.

SPEAKER_01 47:27

Claire is definitely the sunny. I think Claire's sunny, but uh in a different way than you are.

SPEAKER_02 47:32

Yeah. You guys are both sunny. Aaron and I are stormy.

SPEAKER_01 47:36

Yeah, stormy.

SPEAKER_00 47:37

Look at her sweater. Stormy in her sweater today. She's so sunny. All right, Meg, I'm contributing like my yellow water bottle. That's right. Yeah, see, you and I are again personalities. Aaron and I are wearing I think you're more of an optimist, Meg. Like you're your sunny optimist. In like problem solver, you're like, how are we gonna get out of this? You know, it is like if I had a crisis, I would call you.

SPEAKER_01 48:03

Yeah, for sure. Totally. But also crisis hotline.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

I was about to say, I think of some dark situations. Anytime I have a problem, I feel like Aaron's all right, these are the three things. We're gonna call these three people. I already texted 17 people, and this is it's done before I even had a chance to like finish my sentence, which is sometimes annoying because I'm like, oh, I think I could have solved it, but you're like, But no, everybody had a lot of it.

SPEAKER_02 48:28

You have that dumb. I remember, and I I'm not gonna share details, but a very a few years back, I had a really intense situation not know how to handle. And I was like, I don't know how to handle this. I am totally lost. And I called you and I was like, I don't even know where to begin. And you're you were very this is what you're gonna do, and this is what I'm gonna do, and then X, Y, Z. And then, but I it gave me like a lot of calm and clarity in that moment to be like, okay, I know what I have to do, yada yada, yada. It's very kind, so I think you have that agree for sure. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:04

I hope to become like less serious as I get older, though. I think I've become too serious.

SPEAKER_02 49:10

You gotta need a little little something hard. It's a little something to take.

SPEAKER_01 49:13

Yeah, gotta like. I think you can be, I think you're gonna be like less serious. We'll be less serious in our 50s, but maybe I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 49:20

Yeah, I don't know how that's what you have Claire and I for.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

Yeah, well, yeah, we'll bring you two back down. Soon you're gonna get serious too. Well, that's what I have Claire for. Yeah, no, and please just And then again, when you guys were like dealing with like young children in your 30s, and I'm like older than you, laughing because okay. Although everybody says little the little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems. Although I will say that this weekend in my purge, I got rid of literally Did you save a bag for me?

SPEAKER_03 49:49

Like you didn't throw stuff out without me looking at it. Shut up, shut up.

SPEAKER_01 49:53

Oh, I have another one. Porter, Megan's Megan's a hoarder.

SPEAKER_00 49:57

Wait, like you you purge your clothing?

SPEAKER_01 50:00

But I got rid of all the potties. I got rid of Bell's guardrails. I got rid of literally, like, we don't have any strollers, like nothing. It's gone. That's I'm out for you.

SPEAKER_02 50:11

I I know I probably sound super naive saying this. The kid thing doesn't scare me as much as like adult finance life stuff. Oh, it's all scary that scares me way more.

SPEAKER_03 50:23

I think that stuff comes at you so fast. I think the biggest thing I realized is like no one is coming to save you. Like in everything in life, not only not just from a financial perspective, but really from a life problem perspective. And I also mean not your spouse either. It is your job to take control of like your finances, your health, your everything in life. It's your responsibility. And that to me, that hit me fast.

SPEAKER_01 50:53

Yeah. I'm so not looking forward to that. You'll figure it out. You're fine. You've like everything else in life, you just deal with it, and it's a transition. I have a I have AI.

SPEAKER_00 51:04

Don't worry

TBLs: Trying, Buying, Loving

SPEAKER_00 51:05

about it. I am, and this honestly goes into my what I'm trying this week because in my crisis that I've been having, I feel it's funny, you guys are like, we need to be less serious. I feel like I need to get more serious.

SPEAKER_01 51:18

Totally.

SPEAKER_00 51:19

And part of that is not only seriousness in my career and things like that, but I need to get more educated on like the world, I need to get more legit in means, not on AI, just current events and things.

SPEAKER_03 51:35

And can you back me up on this?

SPEAKER_00 51:37

Megan, but it's like the message has been received. I don't know what else you can say. I think it's just you keep she knows it's important. Yeah, like I hear you and I respect the flag you're waving. I just I'm not gonna go to a meet and greet on AI in New York.

SPEAKER_01 51:56

I'm not gonna beat you over the head on this one, but like um she does Megan does have some points. But I think on the current events thing, that's a good place to start in terms of like reading the news. So yeah, fine.

SPEAKER_00 52:08

And I did ask AI, hey, I'm trying actually, no, this got served to me on Instagram, and it's the Headway app. And I decided to download it because I'm so easily targeted on Instagram. But it's really great. You listen to 12-minute summaries of different books, and I listened to one on like morning habits, like maximizing your daily routine, a lot about how willpower, like 70% of your willpower happens in the morning. So if you don't do the hardest tasks in the morning, they're not gonna get done. So I've been really switching up my routine. So I'm trying to- It's not current events, but I'm just saying it there's like a current event one, there's a uh routine one. There are different books you can go into and read.

SPEAKER_03 52:51

I think it's an app also called Imprint, but the book that they're referring to Claire is called Eat Your Frog, which I have in my nightstand because I'm a self-help junker.

SPEAKER_01 52:59

Oh, I haven't read that one. I have to is it the same kind of book as Make Your Bed? I'm sure there aren't those 12 different variations of the same book.

SPEAKER_00 53:07

But I think it's just about habits. Like part of the habit I'm building in, like I started listening to a news summary podcast. Like in the morning when I'm waking up, I like started reading a news email instead of scrolling on TikTok, like little changes in things like that.

SPEAKER_01 53:21

That's a and those are big changes. That's a good news podcast. It's called the Mo News. Okay. And they're he's good on really good on Instagram, but he's got a great podcast every day. Okay, love. I'll check it out.

SPEAKER_03 53:34

I think it's a good way to think about it. It's like, how can I replace 20 minutes of scrolling with something that's more mentally productive for me? Or also it's just gonna be better for you.

SPEAKER_01 53:45

Agree.

SPEAKER_00 53:45

Oh, I was disgusted by sitting on my phone yesterday. I I was like, I want this away from you.

SPEAKER_02 53:51

I know you and I were I told you, I was like, yeah, I was like on my phone whilst watching TV, and all of a sudden I was like, I'm so unentertained right now, but it's because of my stupid phone. So I like threw it across the room and started coloring, and I felt so much better.

SPEAKER_00 54:07

Okay, Claire, that's what you're trying. My buying. Hold on, I wrote it down. Let me make sure I get it. Oh, my buying in line with revamping my life. I got these drawer organizers from Amazon for my underwear drawer, which is like underwear, socks, bras, because everything was just in there in a pile, and this has changed my life. Everything is so organized. I got a new shoe rack, I completely reorganized my front closet. So I bought some organizational things, and it's really been turning my life around. And then for my loving, this is really random in a pivot. I have been loving Dakota Johnson and Role Model's relationship, and I just want to put that out there.

SPEAKER_03 54:56

I don't even know who role model is. Is he?

SPEAKER_00 54:58

He's just a young. Do you know who Emma Chamberlain is? Yes, yes, the coffee. This is Emma Chamberlain's ex. So Emma's like my they're my age, and so role model and Emma had this breakup. He wrote this album, there's been all this kind of stuff, and now he's like dating Dakota Johnson, and it's just imagine.

SPEAKER_03 55:17

And she was just in that Calvin Klein ad. She's looking good.

SPEAKER_00 55:20

She's looking so good, and I just think it's such a slay for her to be dating this hot such a slay for him. Like, is he hot? He's cute, yeah. He is such a I don't know how he pulled her, but I also just love for her. It's very idea of you. Oh, yeah, that would have been a perfect. She would have been asking.

SPEAKER_03 55:39

So that's my TBL.

SPEAKER_01 55:40

Okay. What's your TBL?

SPEAKER_03 55:42

Okay, my TBL in terms of trying, I'll just say, and roll your eyes, but I will say my productivity stack that has been very helpful. One, I use Whisperflow. Have you guys tried this?

SPEAKER_01 55:54

It is great. I use whisper flow.

SPEAKER_03 55:56

What's a productivity stack? What is it? So basically the things. What's a productivity stack? To me, it's I'm like, this shit is on my Twitter all day long. So I like I don't even know how to do it. You're still on Twitter. You're not on Twitter?

SPEAKER_02 56:10

People are on. I'm not.

SPEAKER_03 56:11

That's like literally how I consume news. But, anyways, when I open my laptop, what are like the three apps that I'm using the most? One, it's now this thing called Whisperflow, which allows you to dictate everything. You it is a huge time saver. I have to say, I'm starting to lose the ability to type because I can do things so much faster using it now. Is this on your phone? You can now, I didn't even know it had a mobile app, but I downloaded on my phone and it's 10 times better than like the Apple like dictation. I would say just use it to start like writing emails, and it's insane. That's amazing. And then I use granola for my meeting notes, which is heard of that great and super productive. And then obviously Claude, which you guys don't want to hear about. So that's what I'm trying. And those are the three things together that are working well. Buying, I would say it's funny, Erin. You sent me this, but I was already planning on purchasing it. This company called Table 2 Studios that makes it. Oh, this is mine. Okay, it's mine too. These amazing paper plates, they look like they're painted. They're very cute. They are so great, and I feel like they're gonna be perfect for summer. So that's what I'm buying. And then what I'm loving, and not to give James unnecessary credit, but it was like a very nice gesture. We came home and he's oh, I got you like a little something. Oh, yeah. He got me a little flower bag, like because I always go to the flower market and really got me like this little tote, and I looked it up because I was like, Where is this from? It's the Casatech Celine collab. It's Cassatec Lewis Miller collab, I think. Oh, yeah. But it is so cute, and I didn't even know a flower tote existed. Really cute.

SPEAKER_02 57:53

Very good, thoughtful gift.

SPEAKER_03 57:54

That was a thoughtful gift. Cat, what about you?

SPEAKER_02 57:56

Um trying, I have purchased, but I haven't started yet because it's taking forever to get uh needlepoint stuff. I have I am gonna try and go on that journey. I will be consulting our cousin Charlotte, who is the all-knowing wizard of Needlepoint. I just feel like I needed another distraction that isn't my phone. That outside of reading and coloring is like a good hobby or activity that can piano build. And piano, that's still on the list. Um, that I can build towards buying. I'm debating. I feel like this I'm like gonna spend too much money on this, but I'm I spent so much time, but I'm putting together uh a honeymoon photo. It's a little more expensive than I thought, but I'm like, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 58:40

You'll have it forever.

SPEAKER_02 58:42

I think I'm going to loving, I'm probably totally behind the ball on this, but I was very I was struggling finding a white plain t-shirt that I liked and looked good on me and didn't wrinkle easily. And La Sette has tight white t-shirt, and like all the other ones that I've gotten from Everlane. Lassette's t-shirts are the best.

SPEAKER_04 59:02

Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 59:03

It's just even when you wear it, you can't fully tuck it into your shirt and it gets wrinkled easily. And I just hate that.

SPEAKER_03 59:10

Yeah, that Lassette one looked good on you. Yeah, they looked really good on you. They're very cute. Thank you so much. You're so welcome.

SPEAKER_01 59:17

So Aaron, what about you? What is your TBS? Trying. So I'm really have you guys heard have you heard of this thing that's called like nature bathing? No. Okay, basically, what it means, it's like going for a walk, essentially. But it's like getting outside and going for a walk at random. Is that what we're calling it these days?

SPEAKER_03 59:36

That's like how people call opening the windows house burping.

SPEAKER_01 59:40

Oh, I've never heard of that, but love it. Call them what they are. That's not it.

SPEAKER_03 59:45

Nature bathing.

SPEAKER_01 59:46

All right, so whatever. No, I've literally just been trying to go on walks a couple times a week to get outside, which again, you New York City people are inherently always walking outside. It's a little bit harder to do in the burps, but it is I go on a walk, I don't listen to anything while I walk, and it's that's hard. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:05

Aaron, I've been trying to actively do that more. I just go on a walk.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:11

Are you gonna start praising the sun goddess with us? Praising gods.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:16

I basically just go on a walk and talk to myself, and it's very therapeutic. So that's what I do. I love it. And do you talk out loud?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:22

Do you talk out loud? No, not out.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:25

Loud in my head. Okay. Actually, honestly, sometimes I do talk out loud to myself, but nobody's around. Nobody can see me. It doesn't matter. Think about her neighborhood. No one's around to you. Buying, I did not buying, I bought those Kate jeans, the picture I sent you guys, which like I said, like really cute. So cheap about denim, but like these were really worth it. I think they're great. So those were a good purchase. And then loving, this is more for my kids, so it's a stinky chat, but I started making a breakfast hors d'oeuvre board for the kids in the morning. That's a great idea. Tell me more, you know. Oh wow. A big like cutting board, and I put like fruit and or I put berries and I put apples and I put like cut-up sausage that you can dip in maple syrup, and then I put raisins and peanut butter and like slices of bread with whatever butter and shit on them. And they the kids seem like they're eating it more, but they also they just think it's cool and fun. And I started being like, okay, this is how you get your protein, this is how you get your fiber, this is how you get your carbs, whatever. I really like that. Oh, I'm gonna do that tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:37

I have to peace. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:39

Well, thanks for holding it for us.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:41

That's really nice. Anything for you girls? Hey. I love you so much.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:45

I'm gonna go read, I'm gonna go read the deal. Hold on. Kat, can we talk about your smart really fast? Claire, you can leave if you want.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:51

No, I have to stay. So, really quick recap. So I finished the Dean book. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:58

Which it's called Emotional Roller Coaster.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:02

So, so I know that I've said that I like Dean Dean. Dean DeLaRenis.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:07

Oh, right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:08

Dean, I yeah, that last part, Claire. Oh, I didn't see that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:13

Yeah, really fucked up.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:14

Um wait. I which last part are you referring to?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:17

We can't say if Megan's reading it. But can you just tell me the point in the book and I'll know? The end of the book where that tragic end when that thing happens. Oh, yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:26

Sorry, timeout. What book are you talking about? The first book, the deal. No, no, we're talking about the score. Which is a part of the series.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:36

Oh, oh, yeah, I know. I was like, anyway, my realization came from I thought I really liked Enemies to Lovers, which I do, but I think the like tortured, unemotional man is what I really like. About D, the guy that goes from he's like the player unemotional, he's tortured, lacks connection.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:55

And then you could only have like three sons with girls.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:59

He just hadn't found Liv yet. He just was rich and spoiled and hadn't really experienced life, so it wasn't a fully fortunate. It's different. It's more so he didn't fall in love.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:06

Garrett was more like I'll never give myself over to someone like I haven't found blah blah blah. Dean. But I do love Dean. I love Dean.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:13

Okay, okay. I like the tortured one. Okay. So you liked the score better than the deal? I think so. And I also hold on a second. You didn't read Logan's second book?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:24

You didn't read Logan's book second? Catherine, you need to read them all in order. I fucking told you. She didn't know you were there. Yes, I did. I told you. We haven't recorded.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:34

No, after other words. Don't even do this after I told you to do it, Aaron then corrected you, and you did it anyways.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:41

I'll get to motherfucking Logan. It actually, are you sure they're in order? Because the ending of the Dean book ends with a big bomb that Logan dropped. And it's like, do you want to hear Logan's story?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:52

So I actually you're thinking about Tucker, sweetheart. So true. Yeah. And I have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:04

So I I am getting a little quick hiatus because I'll be honest with you, the only like so much smunt that I like two books, and then I'm like, I gotta, I do need to read a little bit of something that's different. Okay. Claire, remember we bought this book in a bookstore and I never read it. I'm reading it now.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:19

Tell me how it is, because I'm using it as display.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:21

Well, but yeah, I was also doing it. If anybody has a good book for me to read, let me know. I hold on, I have one. Hold on.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:32

Wait, this book that Kay just recommended that I also downloaded. Oh, Correspondent. Oh, the Correspondent, I'm reading that, but it's not that. It's Tobin Aaron Broken Country.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:43

I really liked. I read that in like two seconds. It's not like that serious, but it's it's not like smut.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:51

Okay. Oh, Theo of Golden. I've heard such good things. Oh, that's what Kay was talking about. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:59

Or Aaron, have you ever read any of the Kristen Hanna books like The Nightingale? It's like the woman hair style. I can't believe it. Yeah, but I think she would I think she would like it.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:09

What? Sorry, the troll chat right now, the Ed Harris thing. Oh my god. Aaron was like, Aaron, we're Aaron, someone sent a clip from like The Rock or one of those movies and has Ed Harris in it. And Aaron's like, oh God, he's amazing. It was hot.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:23

Like I kept thinking about him in the Julia Roberts movie and the stepmother.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:28

Wait, isn't he married to sweet, sweet, what's her name? She just won an Oscar.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:33

Wait, Aaron, I think Ed Harris is handsome. I'm not in troll. What? This is really scary.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:42

They just said that picture. They just said that picture and they were like, Okay, he used to be a hot. He was attractive when he was younger.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:48

Oh no, he looks a little like Schmeagle. Yeah, like Schmeagel and the guy. That was the guy from the night before Christmas. The guy who wears the pajamas, whatever his name is. Scrooge? Yeah, Ebenezer Scrooge.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:02

He looks like Harris Young. Okay, he was hot when he was young.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:05

He was totally hot when he was young. But he still was aging, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:10

Oh, God. Like, even here, he looks good. Yeah, agreed, Aaron. I totally agree. Okay, guys, I think we really turned it around. I'm proud of it. We did. Yep. AI or die. I'm gonna fall asleep standing up. Love you. Okay, love you, bye.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:24

Love you guys.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:25

Bye.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:28

Bye.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:29

Bye.