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Childless, never been a parent. How can I speak into the lives of parents? I went through a lot of different things. Okay, God, let's let's let's get a checklist. Let's get some tips. Let's get some hacks. That's how you do on TikTok. You know, let's get the dances going. And then as I continuously just sought the Lord, He started to impress upon me. It's not a unique thing to experience this parent-child relationship. A lot of parents go through, how do I reach my kid? A lot of parents go through, I don't know what to do. A lot of children, being a child myself, have felt, man, they have no idea what I'm going through. They have no idea what they're talking about. I'm gonna do my own thing. But here's the beautiful thing. Raise your hand if you're a parent in the room. Let's see the hands. Let's see the hands. Alright, keep your hand, uh keep your hand up if you've ever been a child. Every hand should go up. Right? The beautiful thing is whether you're a parent or you're a child, we've all experienced what it means to be raised up. Okay? And that's good because what we're about to talk about today isn't like this side or that side, what you could do better, what you should be doing. What we're about to talk about today, this is really a message for everybody in here, okay? And it's for everybody because this is not about how parents can better reach their children or how children can better listen to their parents. This is really a challenge of, are you willing to worship the Lord? Okay? This is really a challenge of am I really looking at what God is calling me to do, or am I caught up in what the other person is or isn't doing? Am I more caught up in my feeling or my emotion, or am I willing to be obedient past what I'm feeling? Okay, this is a message about worship. Again, this isn't like a parenting talk. This isn't family tips and tricks. We're going to walk through today much, much deeper than that. Much, much deeper than that. Okay, so so let's paint a picture for my parents. Everybody in here that's a parent has experienced that that silent moment after delivery, after hours of labor where you're holding your child. And you're looking at this new life, and you're thinking to yourself, two things. One, I would quite literally die for this child. And two, you have no idea what I'm doing. You're laughing because you you've been there. You've been there where it's like, all right, you're getting discharged from hospital, they're wheeling you out, you got your car, see it, and you're looking back like where you going? We're not all going home? We're not all getting in the car. I would do anything for this child, and I have no idea what I'm doing. And in that moment, you're really, really experiencing a lot of things, right? Joy, excitement, maybe a little bit of fear. Maybe you're overwhelmed. I want to speak to that real quick because I want you to know those emotions are not by happenstance. What if I told you those feelings of fear, doubt, feeling overwhelmed? What if I told you that was by design? What if I told you God wants you first to have the ability to differentiate between a burden and a weight? A burden is meant to what? Slow you down. But what happens when there's a weight? A weight is meant for producing something: strength, endurance, flexibility. Right? Burdens, Jesus says, come unto me, all who are come on. Jesus don't want you carrying a burden. Jesus wouldn't give you a burden. But there are some things God allows you to feel a weight. He's trying to produce something in you. Maybe instead of trying to figure out how to lift a weight, maybe sometimes weights are meant to bring you down. Maybe sometimes weights are made to make you surrender. Come on. No, I go to a non-denominational church. They don't talk, but I know y'all like to talk. Come on. Come on. So that's by design. It's by design. And transparently, you don't have to know everything up front. You don't have to have everything figured out. Raise your hand if you're still trying to figure stuff out. Me. Come on. But you know that everything we do is first allowed and orchestrated by the Lord. We know it's also meant to produce something. Okay? But oftentimes we get a little confused, right? We get a little confused on what am I supposed to do? Right? Where am I supposed to go? Children, I've been a child, I'm still a child, and I can tell you, love y'all. Love y'all. Remember that. I can tell you, I've looked at my parents like, man, these knuckleheads is crazy. I'm like, so truthfully, love you. For real. Love you for real. There was there have been times in my life where I've literally just sat and thought, wow, God really gave them children. I'm like, wow, okay. You know, it's again, it's meant to produce faith. I'm faithful in the Lord, you know what I'm saying? Thank you. But like a lot of times, it's often in relationships where we're starting to battle the people we're in relationship with for love, respect, honor, dignity. We think it's scarce. We treat it like a a natural resource that's dwindling the more it's being used. As opposed to remembering that everything I pour out is first something that's poured into me. Okay? So all these things, the weights, the emotions, the fears, the doubts, they're all meant to produce something. And in a parent who doesn't know what they're doing first time, it's meant to produce something. Are you willing to be completely surrendered to the Lord? For children, it's meant to produce something. Are you trusting in God who placed you in the family purposely? Are you looking for perfect parents? Okay, so we're gonna talk just a little bit from the thought of poured out, carried forward. Okay, poured out, carried forward. So before we can really get into again talking a little bit about what it means to be a parent, what it means to be a child, and how to have God-honoring relationships between the two, we first have to really understand the beginning. You gotta go all the way back to creation, okay? So before God ever asked any of us to pour into someone else, he first poured into us first. If you are a note-taker, point one everything we pour into our children flows from what God first poured into us when he made us in his image. I'm a firm believer that if you really want to understand God, if you really want to get a uh an understanding of his heart, feel his pulse, you have to understand his design when he first created man in the earth. See, there's this misconception that God's design can only be experienced when he comes back and when he reestablishes his kingdom here on earth. But we have this unique uh uh text, we have this unique opportunity that many uh saints in the Bible that we read about didn't have. We have the Bible. That's a tool, that's a resource. Okay? The Bible tells us a couple of things. One, when God created the earth, he created everything plants, animals, water, air, the ground, everything. But when he created man, he did something really interesting. Everything else has said God created, God created, God created. When man was formed, he said, let us make man in our own image. Off-rip, God is saying, I'm connected to man and women, mankind in a way I'm I'm I'm not connected to any other thing. Okay? So before we could talk about what it means to invest in our children, and before we can talk about how children should honor parents, we gotta go all the way back, okay? We gotta go all the way back. In Genesis 1, 26 through 27, God says, again, let us make man in our own image according to our likeness. That language is deliberate. Okay? That language is very deliberate. God wasn't mass-producing something, he wasn't just sticking the label on something on the outside. He says, I see fit to craft you with deep intention and purpose. That's an investment. He said, I want to put some of me into you. We have an ability to connect with God, unlike dogs, cats, horses, whales, dolphins. That's an investment in our image and our likeness. God invested some of him into us, okay? And notice he chose to put what he made in his own image and in his own likeness, okay? So the very first investment in all of scripture is God placing something of infinite value into the hands of finite beings. God says, I want to give you some of my immutable characteristics. Okay? But what makes the investment even more remarkable is that God didn't stop at creating. If you keep reading into Genesis 2, you see God who walks with what he made. You see a desire. Let's pause real quick. There is a difference between relationship that's rooted in desire and that is forced through obligation. Some of y'all go to jobs because you obligate. Alright, man. You walk in here, you try me one more time. I'm leaving. It's an obligation. You're there because you gotta be. Maybe some of us have been in relationships where we felt like, man, this is the only thing I have. I gotta be here. I can't afford the house by myself. I gotta stay with him. Some of us have honestly felt like that with our parents, with our family. Man, I don't want to speak up. I don't want to say that that hurt my feelings. I don't want to say how I feel like you didn't show up for me. Because I feel like I'm obligated to keep my mouth shut. But when there's desire in relationship, we see that everything that happens, every which way that we conduct ourselves, when we have a desire to be somewhere, comes from a place that is much deeper than can be seen, that can be seen through our actions. Right? How many guys married? Keep your hand up if you've ever been frustrated by your spouse. At least y'all honest. He got two hands up. Put one down, dawg. Put one down. Don't get in trouble. Don't let me get you in trouble, dawg. Let me get you in trouble. Okay, all right, all right. Some of y'all was too excited. Me, me, me. Call on me. Okay. Um we've we've been frustrated, right? We've maybe had moments where we didn't like something that they did. But we recognize that a feeling of frustration does not remove a desire that was there long before I felt that. See, obligation can be shifted, can be shooken, it can be taken away. If you do something I don't like, I'm leaving. But when I have a desire to be somewhere, we see my presence is not affected by performance. God desired to walk with Adam and Eve, not because of what he did, but because of what they meant to him. See, God's establishing something right here in creation. He's establishing some tips, some tricks for what healthy relationship looks like. Made in our image and our likeness. That's investment. Walking with Adam and Eve, that's desire. Okay? And then the scripture tells us that he breathed. That's sacrifice. You want relationships to live, you want relationships to be fruitful. You're wondering why every relationship around you is struggling. I ain't got no friends. My dating life sucks. What have you sacrificed lately? Are you investing in these relationships? Are you present looking for somebody to perform for you to give them something? Or are you existing in relationship, understanding that nothing you do, nothing you say takes away my desire because first I'm here because of how God has wired me. I exist in relationship because of what was first invested in me. And so we see that God is telling us something really simple about relationships. If you want them to grow, there cannot be condition. Okay? If you want them to grow, there cannot be condition. And so God establishes all of these things through relationship, creation, all of these things. Because he wants us to understand his heartbeat. Genesis also talks about that everything produced of its own kind. Why is that important? If you are saying you are a child of God, if you say you follow the Lord, then what you produce should be of kind to God. If everything you touch is broken, battered, beaten, destroyed, I challenge you to first look inside. How can you say you follow the Lord? The Bible tells when we are of his own kind, but you produce nothing like the Father. Creation establishes everything for which we live. If you're confused, if you want to know a little bit more about God, go back and read the first two or three chapters of Genesis. He tells us very plainly. Okay? So, point one, everything we pour into our children flows from what God first poured into us. Okay? It was meant to be costly. That's quiet. It was meant to be costly. You tired, you upset. Yeah, it's supposed to cost you something. You're giving something of yourself, again, of kind to God. It was meant to be purposeful. There's vision for growth, not just survival. It was meant to be relational. Again, presence should not be affected by performance. And it was meant to be persistent. Even when it's been mishandled, you don't walk away. Okay? Point two, God designed the parent-child relationship as a two-way investment. Everybody say two. Say it again, two. God designed a parent-child relationship as a two-way investment where parents steward with purpose and children respond with honor. I'm gonna say the last part again. Parents steward with purpose and children respond with honor. Okay? So Jesus actually answers a lot of questions when he speaks. He talks in parables, you know, he talks about a lot of different things, and he used parables to answer a lot of questions. One of my favorite parables, we're gonna dive a little bit into this right now, is Matthew 25, the parable of the talents. Okay, so it's a story about a master who's about to go away, and he entrusted three servants with talents. The Bible says he gave one five, one, two, and one one. The Bible also says he gave each to according to their ability. That's really important because, and this is quick, just pause. That's really important because oftentimes some of us we despise what the Lord has given us because we think we should have more. We don't take account, we don't operate in gratefulness and gratitude with what God has given us because we want more. But if you look at the text, it says the master gave to their ability. Another way to say that is the master gave according to their ability to be faithful. What if God didn't give you what you wanted? Because he knew that if he gave it to you, your ability to be faithful to the thing that you're asking for is not yet present in you. That's just besides the point. Take that, do what you want. But so he he gave them these talents, okay? And so he goes, he comes back. Uh the two servants with two, uh the one servant with five, the one servant with two, they both basically doubled their investment. He's like, appreciate you. You did a good job. Go ahead, go to the pizza party. Um, I'm happy for you. Thank you. But the one, the one said, Yeah, I didn't do nothing with it because I feel like you was like a really cool guy, and I feel like you be working, you don't really deserve what you get. So yeah, I buried it. Which is wild because again, it was something that was not his, that was given or entrusted to him, and his response was even though you trusted me with something you earned that I did not, I decided what your return should be. Parents. You know, just chill, just chill. I want to challenge you real quick. Your child does not belong to you. Your child is not your property. You have no ownership over your child. They may share DNA with you. Some of them may even look like you. I got a big hair like my daddy. But your child is something given to you by God that is entrusted to you as an investment, not to your family. I don't care if you, you know, average 20 points on varsity, and now you want to, you know, go find somebody, produce D1 babies, and you want to. I don't care about that. I don't care if you want your child to be a doctor or a lawyer. I don't, I don't care. That's not that's not why God gave you the child for you to decide a destiny that you have no control over. Your child is in is entrusted to you as an investment to further the interest of God on this earth. So if you want, if you want an idea of how to parent better, remove all of your ambitions from your child. If the expectation isn't outlined in scripture, take it away. Remember that weight. It was meant to produce something. Why do we have parents who often lead with correction, who invest more in disciplining their child than building a relationship with their child? I'm not a parent. I won't seek to speak in totality into that, but what I can tell you is what I've seen. I've seen parents who push their child into something God never meant for them to be. What if some of this rebellion you're experiencing is because first you rebelled against God? What if some of the rebellion from your child you're experiencing is because you never sought the Lord on who they were supposed to be? Now you're upset with a child who has rebelled against you, and God's saying the whole time, have you consulted me? See, the thing about the two that doubled what they were given, it wasn't that the master, you know, needed more money. It wasn't that he was looking to, you know, invest in more property. See, that relationship was a picture of what happens. When we take what we're given and we seek out the will of our master before we pursue our own desires. Some of what we're experiencing in these parent-child relationships is because too often we have parents who want to be like that uh that that one servant who didn't consult, he didn't try to grow, he didn't try to invest anything of what he was given. He decided to bury it. Let me also speak to you, parents. I I'm I'm on social media. Um again, I have a lot, I have a great privilege of doing a lot of great work. I'm in schools, communities, a lot of these things. I see what you're seeing. I see what they're doing with you know with with sexualizing our children. I see the explicit content that we see online, I see the school shootings, I see all these things that produce fear. And sometimes we want to we want to bury what God has given us. Sometimes we want to we want to hide it. I'm gonna pull you out of school, I'm not gonna let you do that, I'm not gonna give you a phone, I'm not gonna give you a tablet because I'm scared, I'm fearful, I don't want you to get into this. Can I just pause here for a second and let you just just know as much as you want to protect your child, they're not fragile, they're sacred. We're not here to just keep the kids alive. We're not here just so they can make it to 18. We're not here just so they can get a good education and get a degree. If that's all you're looking for, I would say that you're not experiencing God to the fullness. God has given you children so that you can pour into them again what was first poured into you. It is not your job to fully have control over what happens with that investment. It is your job to be faithful and poor. See, one thing I'm not like great with money, like I'm I'm basic, right? We budget, we we got our spreadsheets. But one thing I've always heard from people who invest is that one, you gotta be patient. Okay? So, parents, are we looking for immediate return from our children? Well, God, I put them in VBS and they they serve and they sing with the with the children's choir and they went to KA. Why why are they still acting up? Why are they still not listening? Are you patient? Another thing is back to the fear. Sometimes the market is really volatile. It can be control, it can be uh, it can be it can fluctuate from a lot of different things, oftentimes outside of your of your control. Are you faithful in the Lord? God, I see what's happening in the schools. God, I see what they're trying to do, but I know who you are, I know who you've been to me, and more than what I see, I have faith in who you are to me and how you can protect my child. So, no, I'm not gonna react to the world. I'm gonna hit my knees, I'm gonna pray a little harder. I'm not gonna react to what I see on social media, I'm gonna have faith in you. And then lastly, are you trying to experience the return for yourself? Or are you remembering that everything you poured into your child is meant for the kingdom? Okay, parents, we gotta be faithful in the Lord, we gotta be patient, and we can't look for immediate returns. Okay? Now, this parable doesn't just speak to children, and God isn't just saying, parents, parents, parents, right? We know that Paul writes in Ephesians that children honor your father, for this is right. And that word honor really means give weight to. It means treat as significant, it means give gravity to. So for the children, and that includes every child in this room, whether you are a child and you're in high school, or whether you're a child with children of your own, it's not blind obedience. It's not pretending that your parents are perfect, it's not pretending that your parents didn't hurt you, it's not pretending that your parents, you know, aren't still figuring it out. And can I just pause here? Like, we have to remember as children, as our as our parents are pouring into us, we're also pouring back into them. We're helping them grow, we're helping them learn. And so it's incumbent upon us as children. We aren't looking for perfect parents. I want to challenge that thought. If you are looking for somebody to be perfect before you're obedient, then your obedience is conditional. And partial obedience is still disobedience. You don't get to choose to obey what God has told you to do because somebody did something wrong. You don't get to choose to honor your parents when they treat you well or when they listen or they don't listen, or you or they don't listen. You are not trying, you are not looking for them to check a box before you obey. God tells us to obey. God tells us to honor our parents, and so that's what we do. So the call to the children, it's not blind obedience, it's a decision to hold this relationship with the weight that God says it deserves. Now, what does that look like practically? Again, it looks like extending grace when your parent doesn't have all the answers. It looks like communicating instead of withdrawing, get off your phone. Take the headphones off. Yeah, parents waking up now. You know what I'm saying? We're at dinner. Get off the phone, take the headphones off, engage. If you want something from your parent, ask yourself, are you giving them the opportunity to grow in that? Personally, I can tell you, I have had to learn through my relation with my wife that if I want her to hear me better, it's not about the expectation that she just doesn't. It's about am I fostering an environment that gives her the opportunity to practice and grow in it? And am I being honest and transparent enough to tell her how I feel? Because if I want somebody to hear me, if I want somebody to listen to me, if I want somebody to be considerate, the question is: am I communicating what I need? Am I giving opportunity and breath for them to practice these things? Children, if you are frustrated, it's okay. Communicate. Don't withdraw. Okay? The child who extends honor isn't doing so because a parent is flawless. They're doing it because God placed them in this family with purpose. And honoring that relationship is an act of worship. Everybody say worship. Not to their parent, but to who? Come on. Come on. This is what makes the parent-child relationship more than just family. It's a two-way, two, say two. It's a two-way investment where both sides are looking up. And when both sides are looking up, they can't help but grow closer. God doesn't want you to focus on what somebody else is or is not doing. It's not about what you would do, it's not about what they didn't do. It's about am I honoring through my obedience as an act of worship to God? Okay. So point three, point three. And this is where we're gonna work for a little bit. The mess doesn't cancel the investment. God's grace enters the brokenness and reminds us that an honest relationship matters more than a perfect one. So we've established that God is the original investor and that he calls both sides, both parent and child, to relationship, to steward what he's been given, what they've been given. But now we gotta talk about what happens when it falls apart. What happens when it gets a little messy? What happens when things don't go the way you think they should? Because the reality is it will. Raise your hand if you've had trouble or turbulence in your in your family. Keep your hand up if you felt hurt by somebody in your family. Okay? Keep your hand up if you've been the one that's hurt somebody. It gets messy. It gets messy. That's just that's giving. So what do we do when it when that happens? Okay, okay, and so I need to be honest. If I stood up here and told you that doing everything that we've talked about so far is going to guarantee a great and perfect family, I'd be lying. The Bible doesn't promise that. In fact, we know the Bible routinely tells us like, hey, strap in, bubble up, it's gonna get hard. Family ain't no different. Okay? So, and and really we can look to different examples in the Bible that tell us that. Abraham lied to protect himself and his family, and they put him at risk. Jacob's favoritism tore his sons apart. David, a man known as a man after God's own heart, is riddled with disobedience, adultery, abuse, murder, grief, rebellion, like it, we can go on and on. And these were people who love God, and their families were still messy. So if you're sitting in this room and your family doesn't look the way you thought it would, if there's distance, if there's strife, there's hurt, there's an empty chair at the dinner table, I need you to hear me say this. The mess does not mean the investment failed. And that is proven by a story, another parable that Jesus told us. The story of the parable of the prodigal son. Essentially, the son looks at his father and says, Hey, big dog, give me what's mine. I'm dipping. Don't need no talk, don't need none of that. Just give me what's mine. And that's essentially in that culture, the son telling him, Hey, bro, I don't want nothing to do with you. So he takes the money, he takes his inheritance, and he leaves. And we know from the story that he just essentially squanders it. He completely screws it all up. And at his lowest point, when he has nothing, at his lowest point where he's literally eating out of a trough with pigs. He returns home. And the father's like, well, well, well. No. He doesn't just welcome him back. The Bible tells us he ran to meet him. He ran to meet him. This is something I'd imagine many of us have experienced, whether we've been in that situation, whether we've seen it, whether we've heard about it, we've seen it to where a parent pours everything into their child. They invest, they put them in all the right camps, they put them in all the right programs, they get them in the best schools, they got a college fund, all these things. And the child still says, Give me what's mine. I want nothing to do with it. If we're honest, maybe there's some people in the room that are still sitting in that tension. Maybe there's some parents in here that are still watching the road. Maybe there's some siblings in here that are watching their parents go through the hurt, go through the pain. Maybe there's some children in this room right now who still don't feel like they can go back home. See, this is this is the tension that most of us exist in for a majority of our life. We struggle with how do I manage, how do I get through a relationship where somebody is literally telling us, I don't want anything to do with you. See, that's the tough thing about living for God. Oftentimes, he doesn't just ask, he requires you to pour out. And he requires you to continue and continue and continue. If the father wasn't watching the road, he wouldn't know to run and meet him. If the son wasn't first raised in a home where he knew his father loved him, he wouldn't know to go back. Some of us hear this and we're like, hey man, I hear you, and that sounds good, but what do I do? First, we have to remember that our home is where all of this teaching, all of this training, the Bible says train up a child in the way that you know the way they should go. The home is where it starts. So, parents, if you're waiting for a child to come back, are you stewarding the environment? Did you remove the chair from the dinner table because they left? Did you clear out the room because they're gone? Did you turn off the porch light? Are you willing to steward an environment even though they're not wanting to be there? See, and you know, what you know, I grew up in a black home, I'll be honest. And you know, actually, yeah, yeah, let's go there. Who here has said to their child, don't be slamming doors in my house? All right, all right, all right, yep, yep. Okay, who who here has said to their child, I heard this from their parent, don't be running in and out of here, you're either in in your mouth. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, yeah, okay. Who who has said, who also has said or heard, that's not your room, that's my room, I'm when you live in. Who here has heard or seen it? I wish you would. I don't know why. As black folk, we like that, but you know, it's an experience, right? It's an experience. I wonder if we ever consider what we're inviting in when we say things like that. I wonder if we sit with, does my child feel safe when I tell them I wish they would? I know I said child, I'm sorry. But it's serious, right? If we're called to steward, we're not just stewarding the investment itself, we're also in stewarding the environment in which they grow up in. Is this house somewhere a child feels at home? Or do they feel like they're renting a room until they're 18? Does this child see the home as a safety net? Or are we just both biding our time until they're an adult? See, the father of the prodigal son doesn't just tell us what to do when they return, he actually gives us a map of how to act while we're waiting. As parents, I want to challenge you. If you want your children to come to you about things, if you want them to come to you when they're dealing with stuff, when they're curious about something, you don't want to find out after the fact, steward and create an environment where honesty, transparency is the norm, is the expectation. When was you gonna have to put your hands up for this? When was the last time you apologized to your child for something you did? Do they only hear you ever correct? Or do you try to gloss over some mistakes that you made about, hey, let's go out to eat. Let's go get some ice cream. If they never see you take ownership, how can you expect that of them? This may feel one-sided, but remember, God gave you the investment. Sometimes you have to realize it's not about equal, it's about equal, it's not about equality or everything being the same, it's about equitability. Again, it shouldn't be I honor you because you obeyed. It should be I honor you because God called me to. And so the the the the mess, the the the brokenness, the ugliness, it's it's not uncommon. And for us, we also have to remember to stay encouraged. Just because it feels like or seems like the investment has been wasted, that it's fallen, that it's pointless. You don't give up. What you do is you say, God, I'm gonna stay and I'm gonna continue to pray. I'm gonna continue to prepare, I'm gonna continue to seek you, understanding that my faithfulness to you is what produces everything I experience in life. And so whether my child is here, whether my child is there, whether my child is calling me, whether they're ignoring me, whether they don't, whether or not they want anything to do with me, that's not gonna affect how I honor and worship you. The more we get in the mode of doing out of obedience instead of doing out of performance, we start to see a difference in our relationship with the Lord. And again, as we continue to grow in Him, He continues to invest in us. And so, as parents, if that child is gone, if that child is not returning, continue to steward the environment. Continue to cover that child in prayer. And as children, I think there's always, well, before I go there, the thing I like about the story is that when the son came back, he didn't just run to meet him. In a sense, he restored him. He gave him a robe, he gave him a ring, he gave him a feast, he gave him shoes. Every one of those gifts weren't just materialistic things. It was a father signaling that you always have a place here, regardless of whether you're present. See, when the when the child comes back, that's just as important as while they're gone. How do you welcome them back in? Is it a long list of rules? Is it is it, hey, you know, well, you were gone and we we moved on and you just gotta get in where you fit in. Or are they coming back to a home that isn't just there but is prepared for their existence? Okay? And so that's really God's heart. That's how he responds when his investment, us, looks wasted. He doesn't write us off, he runs toward us. Okay? He restores us by not just welcoming us back in, but giving us a place. Okay? But I don't want to miss the older brother in the story because he represents a different kind of brokenness that doesn't always get talked about. The brother stayed. He did everything right. He worked, he was there, stayed in the home. And and when he heard the music and the celebration for his brother, he turned up, right? No. No, no, no, no, no. He was mad. He refused to go in. And think about what he said. He said, All these years I've served you and I never disobeyed your command. Yet you never gave me a young goat to celebrate with my friends. Do you hear? Do you hear that? He said, I served you, not I loved you. He walked, not not I walked with you, he served. He saw himself as an employee and not a son. The older brother was there physically. He was at the table, again, he was with the family, but emotionally, he was like miles away. He might as well have been with his brother. In his mind, he did all the right things for all the right reasons. But in reality, he did all that for the wrong reasons. And his resentment quietly poisoned the relationship from the inside. As children, we have to remember that we're not earning anything. As children, you have to remember we're not old anything. And so, this idea that I do so I can get. I'm 16, where's my car? New iPhone coming out, mom, dad. I want to get the new iPhone. Constantly frustrated that your parents don't listen to you, but your room's always dirty. Are you there because you have to be?

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Or are

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Are you seeking a relationship with your parent? Are you desiring to be around your parent regardless of what they do or don't give? Okay? And so there may be people like the other room, right? Like the older brother in this room right now. You stayed, you showed up, you feel like you did the right things. And I I want to point out the father's response to the older son. It was tender, it was it was patient, it was gracious. He didn't um he didn't wait for the older son to come in. He actually went to him and said, Son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. Again, this is relationship. That's what that's what this is really rooted in. It's relationship. And so we have to remember that if we want to first see that relationship grow, we have to make sure we're stewarding and pouring into every into our parents. Stewarding and pouring into our children. Okay? But the mess is real, the pain's real, but God's grace doesn't wait for you to get it right. Okay? God's grace isn't waiting for perfect families, okay? It's always present, whether the table is full or whether the table is empty. Okay? Last point. The return on a godly investment isn't measured in your lifetime, it's measured in what your children carry into the world for the kingdom. Okay. So, and I'm like way over. I'm about to finish. I'm sorry. Um, one of my favorite stories in the Bible is watching the transition of David at the end of his life. Okay? He um he wanted to build this temple, and I mean he wanted it really bad. Lord's basically like, nah. But he still gave all the plans to David, he gave it to him, um, and he saw it. And what he told David was, you're not gonna build it, but your son will. Right? And so uh Solomon builds this grand temple. Um, it's really, really grand. I encourage you to read it. Um 2 Chronicles, read the first seven chapters. Really, really elaborate temple. Um, and so we see though at the end in uh chapters 28 and 29 of 1 Chronicles, David doesn't get to build the temple. The Lord says, Solomon will, and let's look at David's response. See, what David, the the day, the response that David shows us, the response that David gives to not just Solomon, not just to the Lord, but to the entire nation of Israel, is he's telling them, even though I wanted to do something, even though I had a desire to do this, God told me no. My immediate response came from a heart that has always and forever been rooted in honoring my father. Parents, raise your hand if you've had dreams and ambitions that didn't come true. Let's be honest. Okay. Raise your hand if you felt like maybe you've shortchanged your children because you didn't fulfill everything you believed you should have. Let me help you out. It doesn't matter what you did or did not accomplish. What matters is the life your children see you live for the Lord. God found favor, or God looked upon Solomon with favor, not because Solomon did anything. He had favor from the Lord before he was ever king. That favor was a spiritual inheritance he got from the way his father lived his life. Sometimes we're trying to produce something out of our kids that a faithful life will just bring. No amount of discipline, no amount of grounding, no amount, none of that will ever produce more than what faithfulness and obedience to God will. And we see that again, David's obedience and faithful to the Lord didn't just inspire Solomon. It inspired the council. But see, again, it's about the investment, it's about the example you set for your children. David gave over and beyond to the temple, not out of Israel's finances, but his own personal one. You want your children to live for the Lord? You want your children to grow up and follow God? What have you sacrificed? Do they see you living for the Lord? Do they see you just going to church on Sunday and Wednesday and that's it? Are you establishing a routine in your household that has sequestered God to Sunday and Wednesday? Or, as Deuteronomy 6 tells you, everywhere you go. When you're at the table, when you lay down, when you rise up, on your doorposts, when you're in the grocery store, when you're dropping the kids off at school, when you're picking them up, on the way to games, family vacation. Are you living by these words first and then teaching them? See, a faithful life will cover everything. Because it's an example of how to live after you've left. And here's the beautiful part. This is what's so cold. We know Solomon started off right, but he you know he was tripping at the end. God is not asking you to solidify the result. God has handled the result, He's asking you to be faithful with what you poured. Sometimes we look at what the kids do and we're like, man, I messed up. Where did I go wrong? What can I do better? Instead of saying, God, I'm not sure how that happened. I'm not sure why they ended up here. But I'm trusting you. I'm gonna continue to be faithful. I'm gonna continue to obey. I'm gonna continue to disciple and be disciple. I'm gonna continue to serve and pour out. I'm gonna continue to be faithful with what you call me to do, trusting you with the outcome. And so for children, when you've been given this investment, remember the words of David. He told his son Solomon, he said, Know the God of your father and follow him with a whole heart. He didn't say, go listen to some sermons on YouTube. He didn't say go to church. He said, know God. Where does that come from? Where does the value of knowing God come from? It comes from when David was in the field. It comes from when David was serving a man that got that was sitting in his purpose. See, a heart that follows the Lord is not, it doesn't just show up when you get a stage or a platform or when you get you get delivered. A heart for God is often forged in private. Knowing God is intimacy. David was telling Solomon, be intimate with the Lord. Allow him to establish a whole heart in you. And so again, the the the the important thing isn't trying to figure out how do I reach my kid. The important thing isn't to figure out how can I impress or please my parents. The important thing here is remembering, just like any other relationship, how you operate with your children, how you interact with your parents is a reflection of your willingness to be obedient, faithful, and worship the Lord. So to my parents, the question is what are you pouring out? What are you giving? What are you sacrificing? To my children in the room. The question is Are you willing to carry forward what has been poured and invested? Thank you.