It Ends Here: From Trauma to Triumph

May 17, 2026

Rev. Jada Jackson

Transcript

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To have the best experience, okay? Alright, so let's get into it. Our scripture text for today comes from Romans 12, 1 and 2, from the King James Version. I beseech you, therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your body as a living sacrifice, holy acceptable. Oh, y'all know it. Come on, holy acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable servants. And be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Y'all either memorize good or you can read good. Either one, we good. Now, our our anchor strip scripture for today is actually going to come from Romans, the second verse, and I'm going to read it out of the living Bible. Okay. Oh, somebody with the Living Bible, come on. Don't copy Romans 12, 2 out of the Living Bible. Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world. But be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you. That is the word of God. Well, today, if you all would allow me and indulge me, we're going to turn this Sunday morning service into a solution-focused group therapy session. Alright? If you are a therapist or if you have been to therapy, you know that typically it's 50 minutes. If you uh charge insurance, it's 53 minutes. And if we're in a good mood, we'll give you 60 minutes. But today, we only got 20. Don't worry, Pastor. I know. I know how many minutes we got. Don't worry about it. And since we're at church, and this is the church edition of the solution focused therapy session, I had to come up with a title because I get in trouble if you don't have a title, because you gotta have a title, right? So my title is This Ends Here. From trauma to triumph. This ends here. And whether it's here in this place or here in this place, this ends here. Again, it's mental health month, it's mental health Sunday here in Christ Community. The World Health Organization says there is no health without mental health. A lot of times we confuse mental health with mental illness. Mental health is a state of overall psychological, emotional, and social well-being that everyone has. While mental illness, my paper is upside down. Well, mental illness refers to a diagnosable condition that disrupt thinking, mood, and behavior. Alright? Some common mental health struggles are anxiety, depression, burnout, emotional exhaustion, grief, and trauma responses. There are numerous amounts of trauma responses, emotional, physical, and relational, just to name a few. But today, for our Christian church uh solution-focused therapy session, we're going to look at a form of trauma that sometimes tends to get overlooked. I've been doing this work a long time, about 15 or more years. I've seen lots of people, and sometimes we overlook this certain amount of trauma, but I didn't get this inspiration from my years of Bible reading and studying, or my years of paying for a very expensive degree for me to put some letters behind my name. I was actually looking at TV.

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SPEAKER_00 4:01

Y'all know I like TV. I told you before, I like TV. So I was watching this show called Blue Bloods. Now, Blue Bloods is a, I'm sorry, Boston Blue. Boston Blue is a spin-off of Blue Bloods. Anybody seen it? All right, all right. It's like FBI, CSI, all those eyes. And in this particular episode of Boston Blue, the grandfather was getting ready to go to surgery. And he said to May, his daughter, that she ought to tell Lena, her daughter, about something that happened in her life. Well, then May got a little spicy. She said, because just like you didn't tell me about what you did. So he was, she may was a little spicy. But then they said a term that I had never heard before. They said, Lador Vador. Y'all ain't never heard before either. Lador Vador is a Hebrew word meaning generation to generation. The family in Blue Blood, uh, I keep on calling Blue Blood, Boston Blue, they have a legacy of everybody being police officers. They have a fine home, they're financially sound. They meet every Friday night for Shabbat. They get together to play games. They have all of these things they passed down from generation to generation. But while he's on his deathbed, he's saying, You might want to tell Lena what you did. And she said, You might want to tell me what you did. From generation to generation. Last week for Mother's Day, Pastor talked about how we should pass down faith and grace and love and all the things which we do. We pass down Big Mama's recipes, we pass down granddaddy's good work ethic, we pass down a whole lot of good things in our lives. But sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, we pass down generational trauma. La door, from generation to generation. Generational trauma refers to emotional wounds, harmful behaviors, survival patterns, and unresolved pain that are passed from one generation to another, from fam through families and communities. Now, there are lots of emotional patterns that go on, but I'm gonna talk about three common ones this morning. Because we in our, you know, if you ever been to therapy or you're a therapist, you'll be watching that clock. Okay? Because either you want them to get on out or you want to get on through. Either one. Three common emotional patterns: fear and anxiety. Families who live in instability and trauma pass down constant worry, hypervigilance, fear of failure, and fear of abandonment. Children grow up sensing danger even when they're safe. If you grow up in a household where they always fussing and arguing and cussing and throwing and leaving, you feel unsafe. And then you grow up as an adult and you're always feeling unsafe. Like somebody's out to get you, somebody's trying to do this to you, somebody's got your, and I don't have your back. Nobody's there for you. You are hyper-vigilant, you're working hard because I got to have me, because ain't nobody gonna have my back but me. I got to have me. Fear and anxiety, emotional suppression. Now, this is one when I was doing this teaching, you know, I don't talk about y'all, sometimes I have to talk about me. When I saw this emotional suppression, I thought about the fact that um uh you all know I didn't have any bio kids, but I helped Felicia raise her children. And um emotional suppression means don't cry, stay strong, keep it to yourself what goes on in this house, stay in this house. I wish you would tell them, because if you tell them, I got you. And that ain't a good I got you. And I thought about myself with the kids. There were times, you know, our family, we when we talk, we talk on FaceTime. I mean, yeah, FaceTime. I don't know why, but we do. So if they call me and one of them tuned up to cry, I'm like, what's wrong with you? I'm not the sweet auntie, like, oh baby, what's wrong? What's what's what's going on? Who did it? I'm like, what is wrong with you and what you crying for? You you you you you need to buck up. You be okay. It's a job, ain't it? So why are you upset? I ain't talking about y'all, don't worry about it. I'm talking about me. I'm talking about me. I'm talking about the three children I had uh over the me. But then they they don't learn to it creates emotional numbness in the person that you're doing it to. Inability to express feelings, because now, now I'm crazy and I done told them what you're crying for, stop crying. Then I said, come on, you can tell when I when I ask them and they say nothing, I'm like, no, you can talk to me. Well, girl, you done told them, stop crying. What is wrong with them? How are they gonna trust you? They're not gonna read it. They're not getting ready to say, well, Auntie, such and such and so and so and so and so, so and so and so. Because I'm gonna say, it's all right, ain't nothing wrong. You fine. We have to learn what goes on in this house. I grew up a child in the 60s in Monroe, Louisiana. And my mama said, honey, don't you go up out of here and tell none of our business. Because what goes on in this house, what? Emotional suppression. Our third common emotional pattern, anger and reactivity. Living in trauma sometimes teaches people that aggression is protection. Oh no, you ain't never, ain't nobody gonna never, I wish you would, I knocked till I buck. This shows up in explosive anger. You say one thing and you hooping it out. What is wrong with you? I just ask you where you be. Defensively. Well, I'm not defensive, I didn't do it, and you're coming up with all of these excuses about why you did do it, but you don't want to take ownership, so you defend I ain't defensive? Oh, really? What was all that you just did? Yelling, intimidation, and inability to regulate emotions. This is where all the crashing out comes from. Everybody wants to crash out. You go up to McDonald's and they don't, the fries ain't hot. All you gotta do is tell the people the fries ain't hot. Can you make them some make can they make you some more? But no, you've been ready to talk about them, their mama, their cousins, everybody. Cause the fries ain't hot. Come on, y'all. Emotional regulation. While the Bible doesn't use the term generational trauma, it repeatedly shows how unresolved pain and sin in one generation can deeply affect the next. The patterns began in the garden with Adam and Eve. And Genesis 3, where shame, fear, hiding, and blame enter human experience after fall. And then the next chapter, Genesis 4, those emotional fractures appear in the first family through jealousy, anger, and violence between Cain and Abel. Throughout scripture, family patterns continue to repeat. Abraham and Isaac both struggle with fear and deception. Jacob's family is marked by favoritism and sibling conflict. David's household suffers from violence, grief, and fractured relationships. And then Israel carries the collective trauma of slavery, exile, and oppression. This ends here or here, either way. Romans 12. Oh, I gotta run. The clock is ticking. Romans 12, 2, the living Bible. Don't copy the behavior and the customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you. Now, here are our six points. You know, you come to therapy, you gotta present the problem. We just presented the problem, generational trauma. Now we're gonna present the plan, alright? Here's our plan. And we got six points, but we're gonna move fast. Number one, name it, also called awareness. Awareness is the first step to transformation because God can't heal what's not revealed. I'm gonna say it again for those in the back. God can't heal what's not revealed. So while you want to be secret and you don't want to talk about it, I get it, you may feel away, but know that your healing comes when you begin to reveal. Awareness is the ability to recognize patterns, identify emotional wounds, acknowledge unhealthy behaviors, and understand how past experiences shape present reactions. Awareness is the moment in our lives when you we just stop saying, that's just how I am. Like it or leave it. I don't care. 29 people done told you you're nasty. 29 people done told you you got anger problems because every time they say you say something to them, uh you you pop off and you just gone flying off the handle. 29 people done told you this, and you keep saying they are online. What? Awareness comes when you stop saying, Well, you know what, I don't care what y'all say, that's just how I am, and you either gonna take me like I am or leave me alone. Well, whoop, some of them gonna leave you alone. And awareness starts when you start asking yourself, why do I respond this way? Why do I do this? I have some things that I do in my life that I'd be like, girl, what is you doing? See, I talk to myself like I talk to other people. I'd be like, girl, what you doing? And why are you doing it? You're acting silly, and sometimes, you know, we tend to, we can fool ourselves like we are so high and mighty and pious that we don't ever ask the question, but you ought to ask a friend. You need to phone a friend sometimes. Like, friend, and don't just tell what they did. Please tell what you did too. Please, please don't don't be the hero of your own story and tell all about what they did, and they did this, and they did that, and they did. Well, do you think I was wrong? No, they're not gonna think you're wrong because you didn't tell them what you did. You got to tell the whole story. You gotta tell the whole story. Ledor Vador, from generation to generation, become because continues because patterns are normalized. People grow up believing that silence is strength. Anger is leadership, anxiety is normal. Dysfunction is simply this is how my family is, child. They just ignorant, and we just go act a fool every time we get together. That everybody in jail, everybody do that. That's just what it is. So we just get used to the dysfunction. Awareness interrupts automatic living, just being on autopilot, that it's all good. Without awareness, people repeat survival behaviors automatically. You automatically repeat those behaviors without even thinking about it. You cannot break a cycle you refuse to acknowledge. Healing begins when honesty enters. Number two, I'm watching the clock fasting. Own your part in it. Agency. Own your part in it. For it is God who works in you to will and act in order to fulfill his good purposes. Philippians 2 and 13. Agency is the understanding that while you may not have been able to control what happened to you, there are some things that have happened to us in our past that we had nothing to do. We couldn't control it. It happened. We went through it, we survived it, it was horrible, it was terrible. Some folks probably need to be in jail. Uh, all the things I don't ever diminish what happens to us because there are some severe things that happen to us in life from generation to generation. But with God's power, we have agency over how we respond. Heal and move forward. I try, I really try to, you know, everything happened to people to tell other things. We we we we agree, we we we pet, we do other things, but please don't be 90 years old talking about what happened when you were 10. Come on, come on now, come on. You left home when you was 20, so you done had seven years to work on yourself, but you still blaming and leaning in on what happened when you were 10. Come on, y'all. Let's take agency, let's take responsibility. We can't do nothing about what happened. Can't change it? All the talking about it, all the crying about it ain't gonna change it. It ain't gonna change it. You gotta work on your forgiveness. Forgiveness don't mean reconciliation. You gotta work on what you're gonna do. You you you gotta figure it out. Don't spend your life blaming your parents, blaming your grandparents, blaming your uncles and your aunties. Some of them, for real, for real, some things aside, but some of them, they just did what they knew to do. From generation to generation, door for door. They mama did it, they mama's mama did it, almost their mama's mama's mama did it. They just did what they knew to do, they did their best. And I've learned, I've lived long enough to know that. And it is such a freedom when you know that they was just doing the best they could. Because guess what? Guess what? You doing the best you can with your kids, and they got they fussing about you. There was no manual when you had little Jojo and Ri-Ri and Ray Ray and Soupai. There was no manual that came with them. You was just doing the best you knew how to do, and you messed up some stuff along the way, also. Amen. Agency is not pretending that trauma didn't happen, it is deciding that trauma may have shaped me, but it will not completely control me. Agency interrupts the mindset of hopelessness, powerlessness, emotional paralysis. Sometimes we feel like nothing will ever change. How is this my life? My family has always been this way, and they will never change. And you know what? That last statement may be true. They may not change. Your family may not change, but agency says that you can tell them y'all carry on, y'all be you, and I'm gonna be me, and you can change. Agency means taking responsibility for your healing, not pretending you don't need help. God can heal through prayer, community, wisdom, and counseling. In some of our communities, we teach people to just pray about it, stay strong, and keep the family business private. Prayer is indeed powerful, but counseling can also be part of God's healing process. Just as people seek doctors for physical healing, they can also seek trained counselors for emotional and mental healing. Faith and counseling can work together. Seeking counseling is not a lack of faith, it can be an act of faith. Number three, we gotta finish the plan. Grieve what was missing. You get to feel what you feel. Most of the time we think of grieving when we think of grieving, we think of grieving something that happened to us. Some loss, some a job loss, a death, all those things. Excuse me. But trauma victims sometimes have to grieve what never happened. What they never received. What should have existed. Some people are grieving parents who are emotionally unavailable. Childhoods filled with instability. You you went to five schools in two years. Relationships that never felt safe. He said he was coming to pick you up and he never showed, or he took you over his girlfriend's house and they they just dismissed you. Affirmation that never heard. You never heard, you're pretty, you look good, you did well, you did good, you had good grades, you didn't get no money for your grades. You said you need to go to school. Just go to school. The neighbor had to come to your graduation programs and your your school programs because your mom and daddy wasn't nowhere around. And peace they never experienced. Some people just grew up and just held. I'm sorry. It was just terrible. And that's what happened. People who never grieve often continue carrying emotional weight unconsciously. Unprocessed grief can look like anger, anxiety, numbness, bitterness, and emotional shutdown. People who didn't get what they needed early on in life, they sometimes, if they don't do their work, they don't know how to navigate life properly. They begin to shut down. You you say one thing to them, they feel like you just you just own their back. I just asked you, was you gonna be on time to the meeting? That's all I said. Why why are you all upset, man? I didn't attack your whole person. I just said, can you be on time? Grief is not weakness, it's emotional honesty. Unfortunately, in church, we teach teach to keep going. It's okay. Where's your faith? Trust in God. But we need to normalize letting folks know that it's okay to slow down. It's okay to mourn. It's okay to take time. It's okay. Jesus wept at the grave of Lazarus and he knew he was gonna raise him. But he wept anyway. It's okay to not be okay. You get to feel what you feel. Healing can begin when you finally allow yourselves to mourn what your heart missed for years. Healing begins when you allow yourselves to mourn what your heart missed for years. Psalms 147.3 says, He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Number four, replace the pattern, renew your mind. And again, don't copy the behavior and the customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you. This ends here. This ends here. From triumph to trauma. This ends here. Romans 12 2, Paul is telling us that believers do not continue to be shaped emotionally or mentally by unhealthy, inherited patterns. Instead, God offers transformation through the renewing of the mind by learning healthier ways of thinking, responding, and living. Then he goes on to say, But be ye transformed. Transformation, ladies and gentlemen, is not behavior modification. Transformation is not turning over a new leaf. Because guess what? If you turn it back over, the same thing is on the other side. So at any moment you can turn that thing over and still start acting crazy. Okay? Transformation involves changing thought patterns, confronting unhealthy beliefs, learning emotional awareness, replacing fear with truth, and developing healthier relationship and coping skills. Transformation teaches us how to replace silence with communication, rage with emotional regulation, isolation with safe community, shame with truth, fear with trust. You cannot build a healthy future with old patterns. Ladies and gentlemen, let's do the work, let's go to work. And last, my last point pass down something different. Let's do something different, intentional legacy. Now I know you know we're all into legacy, you know, passing down wealth and houses and things for our children, and that's great. That's great. You ought to leave an inheritance for your children and your children's children. But what are you leaving emotionally? If you leave them five million dollars and they don't know how to handle it and know how to regulate and know how to carry themselves and rooms that you will produce for them, they're gonna still mess up because people are gonna think they don't have good sense. They just rich. Ledore Vador, what will you pass from generation to generation? We would definitely uh button, I'm sorry, we definitely want to pass down generational wealth, but we also need to consider: will we continue to pass down unhealthy patterns that perpetrate fear, perpetuate fear, silence, shame, or emotional distance? Or will you do as Paul is asking us to do, to be transformed by the renewing of our mind, attending to our mental health, because we have no health without mental health. A healing legacy perpetuates honesty, emotional safety, healthy communication, faith, and restoration. The goal of healing is not only personal for you to just be free, for you to just feel good, for you to just be alright, but it's generational transformation that your children will be fine, and that your children's children and your children's children's children will be fine, that the cycle will be broken. Some people call it generational curses, but that they will be broken. Somebody in the family line becomes the repairer, somebody becomes the truth teller, somebody becomes the emotionally healthy example, and then somebody becomes the cycle breaker. And at the end of all the pain, at the end of all the trauma, at the end of all the broken cycles, we are left with one truth. Jesus did not just come for sinful people, he also came for wounded people. Wounded people, broken-hearted people, burdened people, people carrying generations of pain. Psalms 34, 18 says, the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and save those who are of a crushed spirit. Jesus did not come only to save souls for eternity, he came to restore hearts, restore minds, restore families, restore identities, and restore generations. You may have inherited fear, silence, anger, abandonment, and emotional wounds, but Jesus offers something stronger than what was passed down. He offers peace for anxiety, healing for shame, rest for exhaustion, freedom from bondage, love for rejection, counselors for direction, the dawn of the door from generation to generation. This is here, shame is here, silence is here, bitterness is here, untreated wounds in here, destructive spectacles in here, whatever else you got doing on the young family. Hallelujah. Because if you do the work and then you allow God to renew your mind, He and He alone, in company with you, can restore a generation. My time is up. Somebody say this is here.