The Theology of Forgiveness

July 12, 2026

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Alright, if we can do our vision statement at this time, do that together. Here we go. We exist to help people become followers of Jesus who experience life change in community and make a difference. Amen. I come back from my time off. We're going to spend some time talking about all that and how God leads us as a community together. So I want to just get that down in our heart, in our spirit, to understand what governs Christ's community and what God speaks through in this particular ministry. Our series again is old school love for some new school situations. And as I said last Sunday as I was closing out, could not finish all that I need to talk about forgiveness of. I don't think I can talk enough about it. And there was one phrase in the entire chapter that we were studying. About four words. And those four words took us on a 30-minute conversation about forgiveness. Tell your neighbor you can never talk enough about forgiveness. Yeah. Because we're still a little bit confused and we want to make sure we get this right. And so our meditation text, if we can read that together, as they put it up on the screen here, meditation text comes out of Colossians 3:13. Let us read. Bear with each other and forgive one another. If any of you have a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord forgave you. Amen. Yes, Lord. Here we go. Rough seas ahead. Luke chapter 17, verses 1 through 5. Listen to these words. Jesus said to his disciples, things that cause people to stumble are bound to come. Some translation says, temptations to sin come. That's the idea. Things that come, things that cause people to stumble are bound to come. But woe to anyone through whom they come. It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. So watch yourself. Tell your neighbor, watch yourself. Stop watching me. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them. And if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, I repent, you must forgive them. Come on, Lord. Really? And the apostle said, increase our faith. Oh, I love the scriptures. I want to talk about a theology of forgiveness. And I'm purposely using theology. I know that's a kind of an academic religious sounding word, but theology has to do with the breath of the revelation of God. Because many times when we do, we focus in on one scripture and think that constitutes the whole counsel of what God is saying to us. No, we got to get the whole counsel of what God's saying to us and understand a particular scripture within the theology of who God is. Am I making sense this morning? So we're going to talk about a theology of forgiveness. This passage is normally a passage about church discipline or church relationships, but I think it applies to all relationships, so we'll talk about it. A theology of forgiveness. There are numerous terms and metaphors or images in scripture that describes God's forgiveness for us. Great metaphors, many words that try to draw out the permanency of God's forgiveness of us. Possibly one of my favorites comes out of Psalm 103, verse 12, where David says, as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. I call this distant theology. Distant theology. So is God's love for us. So David says, if you want to know how much God loves, you want to know the breadth and the expanse, the circumference of God's love for us, just try to measure how high the heavens are to the earth. And that'll give you a window in how much God loves you. It's almost like the Holy Ghost said, don't stop there. Don't just go up and down. Go east and west. He says, as far as the east is from the west, so far, how much God has removed our sins and transgressions. Meaning, if we walk with God and if we're headed east with him, he never turns around to where he's thrown our sins. It is we who turn around back to the very thing that God has forgiven us of. We have forgiveness in Christ Jesus. But it's one thing to have forgiveness, but quite another to share forgiveness. Can we agree that forgiveness is hard when it comes to others? I mean, for me, it's it's easy to forgive someone who accidentally bumps into me and apologizes. I can forgive that. I I might can forgive someone who cuts me off on the freeway if they apologize. I might. I might. I can even forgive someone who cheers for a team I don't like. I might. But on a serious note, how do you forgive someone who caused you injury and personal anguish? How do you forgive a friend who betrayed you and lied on you? Lied on you and took your booth out. Some of y'all saw that channel, huh? You been alright? How do you forgive a sibling who has betrayed who betrayed your confidence and told everybody in your family something that was deeply private and personal to you? Two times. You ain't lying. How do you forgive a spouse who cheated on you? How do you forgive a parent or a trusted family member who physically and verbally abused you? Or a parent who abandoned you at a time when you needed them most. And then wolf up in the church and the reunion, act like nothing ever happened. Tell your neighbor, forgiveness is not easy. Love it when God forgives us. As far as the East is from the West. But we struggle with it. The good news is we're not by ourselves. The disciples would also agree with us. Jesus tells them in this passage, now, if your brother or sister sins against you even seven times in a day, you must forgive them. And you know what their response was? Lord, increase my faith. Implication. I don't have that kind of faith. Because first of all, if someone hurts me seven times in one day, something wrong with me. I wish I had an Amen right there. Because on the third time, it's more than words, it's on like neck bones. Amen. What did Jesus mean by forgiveness? Y'all? It's hard. That's why we need a theology of forgiveness. What did he mean by it? Because it's easy to take a text like this, zero in on one verse, and assume that Jesus is saying, if someone injures me seven times, I gotta go back into that relationship seven times again. Is that what Jesus is actually saying? Because a lot of us have done that, and the truth is it has marginalized us in our faith and our walk with God. We question God, and there are many on the outskirts that are also questioning what kind of God would have us do that. And I'm simply asking the question theologically, a theology of forgiveness is that what Jesus is really saying to us? So here's your thesis statement: God steps in when we forgive God's way. God steps in when we forgive God's way. Let me just say a few things. Number one, forgiveness does not mean we're called to be God. Forgiveness does not mean we're called to be God. Only God can forgive as far as the East as the West. We're not called to be God. We're called to be like God. We're never called to be God. Too many Christians try to forgive as if they are God. No, you forgive in a way that God expects you as an individual. You let God handle the rest. Forgiveness does not mean we're turning a blind eye to what someone did to us. How can you say that, Pastor? Because in verse 3, Jesus says, if a brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them. Matthew, the parallel passage, Matthew 18 and 15 says, show him his fault. In a word, hold up, correct them. In a word, draw a line. You're not gonna talk to me like that. Too many Christians think that the holy thing to do is to allow somebody to wrong us and to just mute our laws. I don't know where we got that from. Jesus, when he stood before his accusers, the old folks said he never said a mumlin' word. That's not quite true. When they slapped him, he spoke up and said, Hold up. Don't be slapping me if I didn't do anything wrong, but you think you can hold up and slap me. Hold up one second. Theology, that's what I'm trying to go, bro. He rebuked them. He correct them. He didn't front them. We take rebuke to be front. No, he drew a line. He stopped them. Luke chapter 9. James and John came through a Samaritan village and they had rejected Jesus. And they turned to Jesus and they said, Lord, you want us to call down fire from heaven? And the Bible says Jesus rebuked them. He didn't front them, he didn't dog them, he didn't cuss them out. No. He straightened them out. He stepped back and said, Hold up, you don't know what kind of spirit you have. And sometimes when somebody does something egregious to us, it is very Christian to let them know, baby, you don't know what kind of spirit you have. Think that you can say and do what you did that is not of God. Forgiveness does not mean we turn a blind eye to what somebody has said or done to us. Forgiveness means by faith we honor God, but more importantly, we put ourselves in a position where God can step in. So I'm gonna quote my deacon chair, Anthony Johnson. He just opened up service. And he said this in a Bible brief. Unforgiveness is voluntary incarceration. Forgiveness doesn't mean you agree with the wrong, it means you refuse to be held hostage. Here's what Anthony's saying. Unforgiveness means you're putting yourself in a position where God can't step in. But when we forgive God's way, we put ourselves in a position where God can step in and make a way. Is there anybody here that knows that when God steps in, he can fix that situation? He can fix a broken relationship, he can fix a broken heart. Has anybody ever let God step in and make that thing right? Tell your neighbor, let God do it, let God do it. So, what does this theology look like? Couple things very quickly. Number one, actually, four very quickly. Number one, trust God and live wisely. In other words, even after the injury, we still have to trust God and live in a wise and God-honoring way. We don't allow what people have done to us to cause us to leave the way of wisdom. That's what Jesus is referring to in verse 1 and 2. He said, Surely there's things that cause people to stumble. Surely there are things that will happen that will lead people to temptation. Don't think you're too holy to never be tempted. It's not a sin to be tempted. Yielding to temptation is the sin. But everybody in here on the sound of my voice, you can look how holy as you want. We all gonna be tempted one way or another. But the good news is, 1 Corinthians 10 and 13 says, if we walk with God, God has a way of providing a door, an exit door to escape the temptation. And in that moment, Jesus said, Now I'm with you on those. I give you grace with the temptation, I give you mercy, I'll pick you up when you fall, I'll dust you off, I'll put you back in the race, Anthony, if you fall. But but now, if we live in a way that causes other folk to fall, particularly those who are not as mature as us. If we say things in a way that suggests that somehow we've put our faith on the shelf, Jesus said, no, no, no, no, no, I got an issue with that. Matter of fact, I want you to feel the full ground of what he's saying. This phrase, it's better for him to have a millstone tied around his neck and thrown to the bottom of the sea. It means that Jesus was so angry at the thought of somebody causing another person to stumble with their carelessness and unwise ways, that it's as close to saying you ought to go to hell without actually saying a person like that ought to go to hell. Tell you that, but Jesus got mad right there. In other words, I gotta still live wisely. That no matter what people do to me, I still got to govern my reaction. Pastor, how can you say that? Because the good news is that when God deals with me, he governs his re Y'all not getting this. He governs his reaction. So we gotta be careful. So hear me well. Here's my principle the true follower of Jesus ought to live in a way that forgiveness or forgiving someone is rare. I didn't say perfection, but to live wisely and carefully with my words, with my actions, with how I talk to people, how I handle people, how I handle situations, I ought to handle them with such wisdom and care that I don't ever have to ask for forgiveness. That some sometimes some people, when we're asking for forgiveness, we've just been too careless with what we say and what we've done. And Jesus said, look, it doesn't mean we don't make mistakes, it doesn't mean that we don't have missteps, it doesn't mean that we're not human, but we're gonna live in such a way that we put Godrails on our sands when I don't have to regret what I said to somebody 10, 15 years later. Tell your neighbor once the toothpaste is out of the tube, you can't put it back. And that's the problem with some of us that the toothpaste gets out, and we think folks are supposed to act like everything is fine. Tell your neighbor life doesn't work that way. Just because you can handle it don't mean everybody else can handle it. You gotta be careful. Tell your neighbor, be careful. Doesn't mean we're not perfect, but live in a way that we guard ourselves. Live in a way that we're careful. I use this plain old teacher that was arrested for molesting children. Did y'all see that? Okay? See. First of all, he ought to be put under the jail. Amen. Get Jesus, but you're still going under the jail. Amen. But the truth is, it's more than just molesting children. As men and women, we should never put ourselves in a position where we can even be accused of it. Did you hear me? Because we can say, you know what, nothing happened. But if it's just you and the child, you still can be accused. So my question is: first of all, what are you doing by yourself with a kid anyway? Never put yourself in a position. When I was youth pastor Friendship West, we used to have kids at a home and we would minister to the kids, the teenagers, but when it came time to take one home to give them a ride, you know who rode with me? My wife. Not that I would do anything, not that anybody, anything would happen, but we ain't gonna put anybody in a position where an accusation can be made. Tell your neighbor, put some guardrails around in the thing. Number two, trust God to work with you through the pain. Number one, trust God and live wisely. Put some guardrails. Be careful. Doesn't mean we don't have to ask forgive. Doesn't mean we need to pop, we're not gonna make mistakes. But do your best to guard it. Number two, trust God to work with you through the pain. He says, so watch your sister. Your brother sins against you rebuke them. If they repent, forgive them. Here it is. Forgiveness is not an anesthesia for our pain. Because a lot of times we think when we forgive, that'll stop the pain. It does not. Jesus hung blood and died and was crucified. And he still has the wounds for you and I. When we forgive, that does not anesthesize the pain that came with the wound. It's quite possible to forgive somebody and it still hurts. And it doesn't mean you haven't forgiven. It means you're still hurting for what they did to you. So what is forgiveness? I've said it a hundred times. You can't say it enough. Forgiveness simply means to let it go. I think I better let it go. You know what that is, don't you? Forgiveness simply means to let it go. That's literally what it means. To release it. Here it is. I release, I release the right to do to you what you did to me. That's forgiveness. When Jesus forgives us, it is our sins against him that gives him a right to judge us. But when he forgives us, he releases the right to condemn us because of the Death on the cross on that good Friday. That's what forgiveness is. It doesn't mean you're not gonna still hurt. Doesn't mean you don't need time to heal. Doesn't mean you don't need a minute. Simply means you say, I let it go. You lied on me, but I refuse to lie on you. That's forgiveness. That's forgiveness. You verbally abuse me. But I refuse to turn around and verbally abuse you. That's forgiveness. Here it is, and we need to grow up from this if we still doing it. You cheated on me. Then turn around, you're gonna cheat on it. No. I refuse to turn around and cheat on you. That's forgiveness. It's not mean that you still don't hurt. That's a different issue. That's next week's sermon. How does God heal my brokenness? And so you sisters on the cruise, you're gonna have to see it on YouTube. Okay? But let me put it this way, make it simple. I know I got a bunch of football fans here, amen? Can't wait for the NFL to start. Just like football, forgiveness is just like a lot like football. When a player is injured in football, sometimes they take him off the field for a play. And he can get right back into the game. He's good. Sometimes they gotta take him out for a whole series. He waits a series and he can get right back in. Sometimes he's injured, they gotta take him completely out of the game. Or with a little rehab, he can play the next week. But every now and then, he can have a season-ending injury in which he needs a year, particularly if it's an ACL on Achilles, he may need a year, a year and a half, just to get back into NFL plan shape. And every now and then, some even have care-ending injuries. Injuries also, when it comes to relationships, have different levels. If there are career-ending injuries, there are also relationship-ending injuries. Well, Pastor, you're supposed to be a Christian. Tell your neighbor, I'm not God, I'm not God, I'm not Jesus, I'm not Jesus. I'm not Jesus. You want that forgiveness? He quoted Psalm 103.12, as far as the East is from the West. Take that to Jesus. Now, why did I say that? It means we have to do what? The first point be careful how we treat one another. You can't say what's on your mind, because once the toothpaste out the tube, you can't get it back in there. Oh, let me keep this thing moving. Number three, let me move. Here we go. Trust God with reconciliation. So, so here's my point. Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different realities. Okay? Forgiveness is not reconciliation. You can't have, you can't, you can have forgiveness and not have reconciliation. You can have forgiveness and reconciliation, but there has to be some repentance and restoration. But you can you can have forgiveness that doesn't guarantee reconciliation. And we tend to collapse the two. So forgiveness means to let it go. Well, what is reconciliation? Reconciliation is a process that takes the effort of at least two people to accomplish. Two people. Two willing people. Two people who are humble and willing to admit we gotta get this right together. Two people. But reconciliation is walk with other people. And it takes two people to walk together. I'm gonna give y'all all this. One person needs to repent and seek forgiveness, and the other needs to forgive and agree to rebuild the relationship. Forgiveness is not reconciliation. So when we read a verse like verse 4, here's what we say. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, I repent, you must forgive. Well, Jesus must be saying here that if I forgive you, I gotta let you back in my life. Matter of fact, Peter took it further in Matthew 18. He quoted this. How many times should I forgive? Up to seven times? See, he had heard this sermon. He's gonna try to up outswat the other disciples. How many of y'all know you just can't do Jesus like that? And what does Jesus say? No, 70 times 70. So is Jesus saying that 70 times 70? If a person hurts me, I gotta let them back into my life to go ahead and damage me, and then on the 491st time, I can punch them out. You got 483 more times, and I'm gonna kick your butt. Is that what Jesus is saying? No. Verse 4 in chapter 17 is purely about forgiveness. He is not making a statement about reconciliation. Matthew 18 with Peter. He is not making a statement about reconciliation. He is making a statement about the importance of forgiveness, which means this: as a Christian, we all have a responsibility to let it go. That's all he's saying. It's so important, it's so central to who I am and my relationship with you, you gotta let it go. To forgive simply means to let it go. That doesn't mean you can always reconcile. So let me give you two examples from scripture. So I know y'all are looking at me like, I don't know if I believe that. I know, I know. It's okay, it's okay. That's why I'm trying to give you a theological framework. So in Matthew 18, uh verses uh 15 and following. And both both Matthew 18 and Luke 17 kind of go get together because he's talking about his disciples, the gathered community. Some say these are these are church uh policy passages. But the fact that he gives them in the context of discipleship for the church, they can be used in the context of relationships as well. Okay? So in Matthew 18, he says, if someone sins against you, he says, go to them privately. Don't go to Instagram, don't go to Facebook, don't text, don't call your mama, don't call your boo, don't call no, go to them and deal with it. And if they don't listen, then bring somebody else. Okay? The point being, somebody they respect. Someone who's mature. Don't don't don't bring your bouncer, okay? That ain't what he's talking about. Don't bring your dude that's gonna knock them out. That's not what he's talking about. We're gonna get you, if you don't say yes, right? No. No, bring somebody they respect. If that doesn't work, bring it to the church. And by church he means the church leadership. Someone who is wise, someone who can be objective, someone who can see both sides of the issue and weigh it properly. And say, no, you got a point, no, you don't have a point, no, you crazy, no, you need to do this. Then he says, if they don't see it after that, treat them like a tax collector or a gentile. What does that mean? A gentile was someone who was considered unsaved. Pray that they come to the knowledge of the truth, but do it at a distance.

unknown 31:22

You preach it.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

I'm trying. He gives that to the church. And if he gives that to the church, why would he expect anything less with us? Now I knew that wasn't gonna be enough. So I told Chris, give me Titus chapter 3, verse 10 through 11. And if you don't get it after that, tell your neighbor you don't want to get it then. Okay, you just don't want to get it. Because I want to read this. Titus chapter 3, verse 10. I need 10 and 11. There we go. All right. And this is Paul. It's not Peter, it's not Jude. No, it's not Epaphrodites. This is Paul. He wrote half the New Testament. This is Paul. Paul. Look at what Paul says. Huh. Warn a divisive person once. Matter of fact, that word divisive. Warn an abusive person once. And then warn them a second time. You get two times. He didn't give them three strikes. You get two times. After that. What's that say? Is that in the Bible? No, Pastor, you is you added that to the Bible. Have nothing to do with venom. King James Janitor, let them be ignorant. Give me that next verse. Verse 11. You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful, they are self-condemned. What is he talking about? He's talking about people that see it one way. He said, You wasting your time. As a Christian, God does not tell you to be taken advantage of about folk who ain't gonna ever change. The most dangerous person on the earth is a person who's never wrong. Hear me. The most dangerous person on the earth is a person who can never admit they're wrong. And Paul says, have nothing to do with them. Ah, can I say this like I really want to? See, sometimes, let me tell you what God is doing. Sometimes He uses adversity not to punish you, but to show you who people really are. And when God shows you who people are, Maya Angelo said, believe them the first time. Let me go on and wrap this thing up. Let me get the last one. Trust God with the right choice. Apostle said, Lord, increase our faith. Because I don't have that kind of faith. What are they saying? Forgiveness is a choice. It's always the right choice. Forgiveness is always the right choice. It's the right thing to do. You let it go. It may be a process, it may take time. You may have to pray on it. But you let it go. You tell the Lord, Lord, I relinquish the right to do to them what they did to me. That's forgiveness. Reconciliation has to be a work of God. God, if you open the door, reconcile. But in the meantime, Paul says, feed them with a long-handled spoon. Oh, tell your neighbor, old folk had good wisdom. They really did. They did. Have nothing to do with them. Until there's repentance. Until there's a revelation to understand as to what good, solid relationships ought to look like. I want to close with this and I'm done. I want to help us understand this because we struggle with this and I'm going to deal with it next Sunday, the pain of it. But one theologian described forgiveness and pain like this. It's a great illustration. He said, if you want to understand forgiveness and how it works, he says, go back in the old days and think of these churches, these large churches that used to have church bells. Everybody know what a church bell is? They have these church towers with a church bell. And you pull the rope to ring the bell. Many times those in those churches, when they wanted to call a town meeting, they would pull that rope again and again and again to ring the church bell. He said, but at some point after they rung the bell, they would stop pulling the rope. But just because you stop pulling the rope doesn't mean the bell stops ringing. Just because you choose to stop pulling the rope doesn't mean the bell stops ringing. But over time, the bell slows down and slowly the sound begins to reside and it stops ringing. So also with forgiveness. When I choose to stop pulling on the same issue, it doesn't mean the bells of my heart does not stop ringing. But if I give it time with the Lord on my side, he don't hear me. As the Lord walks with me. And walks with me. In my relationship. He'll put you back together again. Over time. He'll put you back together. And the bales of your trauma and the bales of your pain. They'll solely, slowly subside. And he'll make you whole. Come on, let's bow for a word of prayer and prepare our hearts for the Lord's Supper. I got it right here. I'm sorry. I got it right here. I got it. Thank you. Who is God calling you to forgive? Doesn't mean you may reconcile. Just forgive. Didn't say reconcile. I didn't say that. I said forgive. He's always calling us to forgive. Who do you need to forgive? Bow your head for a moment of prayer. And release them right now in the name of Jesus. And you may have to release them again and again. But over time, as the Lord walks with you, He'll soothe the pain in your heart. The veils will subside. He'll slowly stop ringing and holy. And he'll make you holy. He'll do it. He'll do it every time. If we do it God's way. He's waiting to step in. But we have to forgive God's way. He does not call you to be a doorman. You are made in the image of God. You have value. You have divine dignity and DNA. Force into your way.