From the Inside Out #7: When Effort Becomes the Problem

This is the last episode in the mini-series From the Inside Out - and perhaps a topic you recognize.

We explore force, restriction and willpower... over-efforting. The strict protocol. The intense regime. The renewed resolve that starts on Monday. These are some of the most normalised approaches to health and wellbeing in our culture, and also, often, some of the least effective for creating lasting change.

This episode explores why, and why that's not a personal failing but a very understandable response to a culture that equates pushing hard with being a good (worthy) person.

I talk about what force and restriction actually look like in daily life, often so normalised we barely notice them anymore. About why we're drawn to them: because they're familiar, because they give us a sense of control, because intense doing is a very effective way of not having to feel what's underneath. And because in a culture that equates effort with worthiness, pushing hard can feel morally correct.

I also talk about what the nervous system actually hears when we apply force to an already depleted system; and why, from a nervous system perspective, that tends to deepen the problem rather than solve it. About the Ayurvedic principle of like increases like. And about Ashtanga Mysore practice, including an honest look at how Ashtanga itself can reinforce the willpower narrative, and what the practice becomes when we let it be something different. Because when Mysore practice is approached with genuine inquiry and care, it can become one of the most supportive and nourishing things you do for your nervous system and your body.

This isn't an argument against effort. It's an invitation toward a different kind - one that builds capacity rather than depletes it.

This is the seventh and final episode in the mini-series From the Inside Out - on the body, the nervous system, and what creates lasting change.

More of my work lives at www.maximeissner.nl

Come say hello on:

• Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/maximeissner/
• or LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/maximeissner/

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hi, I am Maxi Meisner, and this podcast is for anyone who is a little tired of wellness tips and quick fixes. For anyone who has tried the information, the willpower, maybe even the intense experiences, and still feels like something essential is missing. I am an Ashtanga yoga teacher, Ayurvedic counselor, somatic coach, a PhD in medical sciences. I've been running a Mysore Yoga program in Groningen for 15 years, and probably just as relevant. I spent a long time being very good at achieving, overdoing, cognitively knowing it all, and pretty disconnected from myself. I know what it costs to live that way, and I know the process of finding your way back. What I keep finding in my work and in my own life is that the missing piece is almost never more effort or more knowledge. It is something quieter. The missing piece is often safety felt in the body, not just understood in the mind. It's rhythm and the real sense of coming home to yourself. And that's what this podcast is here for in English and also some episodes in Dutch. And I'm so glad you're here. Probably like five or six weeks or something like that. So we just had our summer vacation and things started back up last week. We went back to school and we were um yeah, we had our tent set up uh on an island that's really close by. We spent most of the summer there, and it was really um yeah, really sweet. We didn't have electricity in the tent, and um, yeah, so quite naturally our focus was much more outside in the here and now, and um that's been really that's been really, really sweet. Um yeah, we just actually went last weekend. It was uh last weekend was supposed to be the weekend of an Ashtanga retreat that I wanted to share at the Yoga Kula in Emden. It's a it's a really um it's really special place and really dear to my heart. It's run by friends of mine, and um I always really enjoy coming there. But yeah, when we looked at the signups uh like three weeks ago, we realized there are two little signups to actually have this retreat um go through, which yeah, in one way I found really sad. It was also the first retreat that that didn't go through, and uh and uh yeah, the place and the topic uh were really dear to me. And yeah, but just kind of like also looking at the timing of the year, and some people have also let us know that um yeah, just after holidays, it's a bit of an interesting time for them, things starting back up, and a lot of people with kids just a bit tight at that time. So, yeah, you know, maybe maybe it wasn't the right time. And yeah, so so we actually like I had time then last weekend to go back to the island, and we we broke off the tent, we took it home, and we said our goodbyes to the place and to some people we've met and become a little close to. Yeah, we became friends with some people on the campside, and uh maybe we see them again next year. And I also heard from Rosa. Rosa is um yeah, one of the owners of the yoga cooler in Emden, and she was looking forward to the retreat to participate, but also her and Anita were going to cook. So I also heard from her last week, and she mentioned that yeah, she was really looking forward to it, but also that the retreat didn't go through allowed her to be the surprise guest of one of her old school friends who had a birthday, so she could actually make it there. So, you know, I don't know, in the end, um, one door closes, another door opens, and uh this is just life. And uh yeah, who knows? Maybe maybe this retreat will take space at another time, and for sure, um for sure, for sure, in at some point in the future I'll host something at the yoga cooler retreat because yeah, it's just a special place. And that's obviously not what this episode is about. Um, when I was uh thinking back of where we've left things, um, we were still um in the mini-series, uh, the mini-series. So we had a couple of episodes on the topic on of what keeps us stuck, even yeah, when we're trying, yeah, when we're actually thinking we're doing something good for ourselves, but actually we're still kind of stuck in old loops, just kind of like with a different, maybe with a different coding on it. And there was still um, yeah, one topic that I wanted to touch upon, and that um topic is you know, like when yeah, when when we kind of like drive on willpower or um when effort becomes a problem, when we're over-efforting, when we're kind of like restricting things. So this is what this episode is about. And yeah, I definitely um I can definitely tell you that um I know willpower and over-efforting and also um restriction. I I know this really well. This has been yeah, um over-efforting uh has yeah, has had a central theme in uh uh in my life for a long time. So I now I know this pattern really well. Um so I uh I know this pattern, for example, in my relationship with my body. I've known this from a very young age. Um trying to uh control how I eat and how I exercise. Uh yeah, kind of like using like a lot of effort on there and and willpower and restriction. And also that continued also, um, and probably got even more settled as a competitive rower. Um, I really learned also. Um, for me, I learned early that kind of like a way to solve a problem was to work really hard and um yeah, to train more, to really push through, and in that also to really override discomfort and to perform, which you know in sports has a place. So in competitive sports, this is this has a definite space, right? Um, but I also I brought that approach into everything, yeah. So into how I approached um discomfort in my life, I would then try to control things because that's what I knew, and that's what I also knew would give me results. Um, so I used um over-efforting and willpower and restriction also with my emotional life, which um surprise, surprise, only it only works until a certain point. Um I used it in my relationship with my body and how I approached my health for the longest time, I think up until like maybe 12-13 years ago. And I also used that approach of willpower and over-efforting in my yoga practice when I started. Yeah, because it that approach was so in me. I I literally I brought it into a lot of aspects of my life. So, like, think about um strict rules around food. So um, yeah, what do I mean with you know, over-efforting restriction or willpower? So, what do I mean by that? So examples of that could can be like strict rules around food, you know, without having like an intolerance towards something, yeah, or an allergy or intense exercise regimes, you know, without trying to win the gold medal anywhere. Um also it can come into that like extreme yoga practice, yeah. Um where um where you're kind of like left agitated or exhausted for the rest of the day, yeah, or um breath practices push to their edges, yeah. So kind of like when willpower is applied as a solution to to a lot of aspects in your life, yeah, and that's also when we're actually we're losing presence in our life, we're losing connection with ourselves and yeah, with the outside world. It's kind of like um it's a very in in yoga and Ayurvedar, um, you could say it's a very rajasic approach. Yeah, very um one in a way one-sided, a kind of a bit of a tunnel version uh tunnel vision approach. Um yeah, and for a long for a long time also, this kind of approach can work really well. Yeah, because in a sense it also produces results, it produces external results, it can it can produce, you know, like numbers on a scoreboard, you know, there that evolve and that progress and that are that are fun to look at and to realize you're making progress there. It can produce a degree and you know, maybe another one and another one. I mean, I know this. And it can produce a sense of doing it right, yeah, like the emphasis on doing here, but actually having to do a lot for it, and possibly never really enjoying where you're at, yeah, and that is kind of exhausting, and um that's also something that I've felt um in my life before, and it is very tiring and and depleting, and it uh keeps us in a way stuck in a loop of searching for something new for for some other aspect that could be willpowered or controlled, and in a way um tightening our life, um embracing our life, and uh yeah, so that can also lead to um uh yeah, just our experience going through life, uh becoming some something small, not you know cu becoming something stuck, let's put it like that. And maybe you recognize something in this, and maybe maybe not, but maybe yeah, maybe you recognize a sense of being kind of trapped in a loop of going really hard or in a loop of putting a lot of effort, yeah, even possibly in the things that are supposed to support you, yeah, possibly your yoga practice. Um before before I want to talk about why force alone doesn't work, I just want to spend a small moment on yeah, explore exploring why it actually makes sense that we reach for force, we reach for willpower, where we reach kind of like for yeah, in a way, a sense of control, this sense of um effort. Yeah, because willpower does make a lot of sense, and uh yeah, you know, I don't want to skip past that. So, what do I actually mean by by force restriction and willpower? Because these words can sound very abstract until you recognize them in your own life. So, force and restriction might actually look like cutting out entire food groups, you know, because maybe you read that those food groups were inflammatory, yeah, or I don't know, yeah. But you don't actually have an inflammatory condition, yeah. Or starting a strict protocol because someone said it would fix your energy, yeah. So like a strict protocol, yeah, or signing up for like a 30-day challenge or something like that, with with no exceptions, you know, like you just gotta show up these 30 days, and possibly feeling like a failure when the I don't know, the first week and a half is done and you cannot continue. Like you you break the challenge and feeling like a failure because you cannot hold up the 30 days, or possibly like pushing through a very intense workout when your body is actually exhausted, yeah, but you keep pushing through because the plan says that yeah, today is training day for pushing hard. Um yeah, or going to bed at 8 p.m. Because I don't know, um you read that sleep before nine is like the only sleep that counts. Yeah. Well, maybe it can also look like meditating for an hour every day, not because it feels good, but because you are quote unquote supposed to. Yeah. Or another one, maybe you take a cold shower every morning because you know your red discomfort builds resilience. Um, I'm not saying any of these are wrong, but you know, if you there is something too if you don't actually have some joy while doing any of this, then there is some restriction and willpower applied to that. So maybe you recognize any of that, and and here, like um the the willpower is then the internal voice that actually says something like uh it can say something like I just need to try harder, or I just need to be more disciplined, or like I just need to get myself together. Yeah, so that's like the renewed resolve after after a collapse. Yeah, so the plan that starts on Monday, the determination that this is yeah, that that this time will be finally different, if only you can hold it together long enough. And none of this is actually wrong to want. Yeah, all of it makes sense, and here is why. So here's why it makes in a way sense to want those um harsh protocols or willpower-driven regimes, because it might be very familiar. Yeah, for many of us, pushing through is what we now. So for many of us, we may have actually learned that in order to belong, in order to be seen, in order to maybe receive um protection or love, that we have to work extra hard. And that's maybe something we learned when you know, when we couldn't buy our own food or something like that. And possibly it's also what was modeled to us and what was rewarded and what got us where we are, and it doesn't mean it's wrong, yeah. So it's it also doesn't mean that like using a lot of willpower is wrong, but it it might just be something that has been very familiar in our system, and the nervous system yeah, finds a real comfort in the familiar. It's predictable, right? So if I use a lot of effort, I can probably achieve this or that, and then have a sense of doing the right thing and a sense of belonging. So that might be a familiar loop. Even when the familiar is actually really, really hard. And even when the familiar might actually, for some of us, be a survival pattern learned very like very early on. There, so there is a kind of safety in doing what you've always done, because yeah, you know what happens next, and not to know can be very, very scary. Also, um like willpower, so applying willpower over effort and force, it can give us a sense of control. Yeah, also, like in a way, a sense of control over the not knowing. Yeah, so for example, also when life feels overwhelming, yeah, which for sure at one point or another, life will feel overwhelming for all of us. I mean, life happens, right? Or when the body is doing things we don't understand, when our body is changing. And yeah, for all of us, our body will change, you know. Like, I mean, we're all born and our body develops when we're kids and going through puberty, but around age, you know, in our early 20s, and the full development has stopped. And our body starts, if we like it or not, it starts in a way to deteriorate eventually. Yeah, and change. And maybe some of the things that were effortless for us at some point, um they change. Well, or when emotions feel too big or or something gets too close, then restriction and control can really feel like an answer.

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Yeah.

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So for example, if like this sense of, oh, if I can just manage this, or if I can just get this right. Yeah, there can be a there can be a real relief in the in the rigidity of a strict protocol. Yeah, because you can just kind of like attach, like you can just like attach to a strict protocol. Yeah, it narrows the field and it it can give us something very concrete to hold on to. So maybe you've noticed that. Yes, the way a strict plan can feel almost comforting, yeah. Not not because it's enjoyable, but because it removes the uncertainty of having to feel your way through. Yeah, this also in in, for example, how ashtanga yoga, if we apply the the mentality of I have to do a full practice, quote unquote, whatever full practice is, you know. Like, for example, if we just apply this mentality of I have to do full primary series five or six days a week. Yeah, to some, this can feel really comforting, but you know, I mean, in all in an oral reality, um, how sustainable is that? You know, so that's a that's a very rigid approach to practice. Um, I'll talk a little bit about that later on. And also like the the willpower approach, the over-effort approach, it can also allow us to not have to feel things in our life. And yeah, this is one um yeah, that maybe takes the most honesty to look at. Yeah, so for example, force, like intense exercise, like strict rules, also like a constant busyness, but also relentless optimization, like relentless like self-optimization. It can be a very effective way of staying out of the body, yeah, or of not having to actually be present what's what's actually there, what actually wants to be felt, what wants to be acknowledged and seen. Like if I'm always doing, if I'm always like optimizing myself, or I'm always like pushing, I'm always trying to, yeah, quote unquote, improve myself, then yeah, I never have to slow down enough to feel what's what's underneath all of that. Because what's underneath can yeah, can feel dangerous. It can feel yeah, it can it can feel scary to you know to lift the lid that was tightly shut. Yeah, because it yeah, what might come out of the lid, yeah. So yeah, so then it feels just familiar to keep moving, to keep doing, to keep, to keep, to kind of like stay in the same loop. And also, and not to underestimate that, the force and willpower, um, it can also feel very virtuous. Yeah, they're like it. I mean, we live in a culture that equates effort with worthiness. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I mean, pushing hard doesn't just feel protective, it can feel almost morally correct. Yeah, so um the super early morning routines, like um the strict regime, the discipline, there's there's like a cultural narrative that says the harder you work on yourself, the better a person you are. Like, I don't know, but if you open like social media these days, that's like yeah, you can get messages like that. I mean, the the state of the wellness industry, I don't know, really sometimes I feel like it gives me a sense of I just want to throw up. Um yeah, so you know, the person who wakes up at three and exercises before anyone else is up, sense of virtue, perhaps. The one who has, you know, followed a strict protocol for three months, um the one who meditates every single day without any exception. Yeah, these can be held up as ideals, and their implication then can also be clear. Like if you're not doing that, you're not trying hard enough. Yeah, and that's a narrative that's very hard to question when it is also the water you swim in. And here, again, like you know, when we have um our yoga practice, our breathing practice, or our meditation practice, you know, also that these practices don't become an ideal, that they don't become like a strict regime, but like a living breathing system, or like something that can be responsive to our life, something that we can apply with decisiveness and discernment, but not something um with discernment, though it can support us, but not something that runs us in the gutters and closes us from life. Yeah, because something I've I've seen that happen, and I've also been there myself as a yoga practitioner, yeah. Um and and here is actually where it gets interesting and also possibly where somatic experiencing has possibly possibly something really um important or really valuable to offer. So when a system that's already in chronic stress or in survival mode receives more force, yeah, so when it receives more demand, more restriction and more intensity, so what does that system then actually register? It registers more threat, yeah, not consciously, um, not because you intended it that way, but it registers more threat at the level of the autonomic nervous system and that operates below our conscious awareness, yeah. So constantly scanning for signals of safety or danger, or yeah, where force registers as demand. And demand to a system that's already running on low registers as yeah, it's not safe to slow down, or it's not safe to rest, or it's not safe to yeah, maybe do my ashtanga practice a bit different, maybe just have a shorter practice today, maybe you know, just roll up my mat for 10 minutes. It's not it's not safe to do that because there's still something required of me. I have to do it right, yeah, otherwise I don't belong. So that's kind of like an undertone that's that can still be present. And a system in a state, or a system in that state cannot cannot genuinely settle. It can comply with a regime. A system in that state can comply with the regime, it can comply with a protocol, it can white knuckle its way, yeah, through protocol, through plan. But with that, the underlying autonomic state doesn't shift, it just gets reinforced. So in somatic experiencing, one of the central principles is called titration. I mean, chemistry now says principle as well. It's same, same, but different in a different context. So working in small enough doses that the nervous system can actually integrate the experience, yeah, rather than being flooded by it. So that's the opposite of pushing through, and um not because challenge is wrong, but because a flooded system tends to brace rather than open. So the challenge needs to apply just in kind of like the right amount. Yeah, otherwise the system contracts rather than it's able to integrate. So the very pattern that you might be trying to shift can become even more entrenched. Yeah, when we use um over effort. And yeah, maybe you have experienced this, you know. You you maybe you have experience pushing really hard for weeks, maybe for months, and then yeah, maybe then something gives, then like the collapse that follows an intense period of discipline. Yeah, so um the collapse just before the vacation. Yeah, it's a classic. Or the collapse actually just just when the vacation starts. I should have like that's more what happens, right? Or um, yeah, the sleeping through everything after weeks of you know 4:30, 5 a.m. mornings, or yeah, maybe the sudden inability to do much at all. And um, so that's that's not a failure, and that's also not a failure of character. So that could be an autonomic nervous system swinging between activation and shutdown. Yeah, because neither state, neither state, like uh not the activation, not the sh nor the shutdown, is a place of safety, of genuine safety. Yeah, so the nervous system then is just doing what nervous systems do, trying to find some kind of equilibrium in a system that's been under a lot of demand. In um in Ayurveda, one of the fundamental principles is like increases like. So uh the same quality increases, yeah, the same kind of quality, like like increase like. Um so for example, if your system is already running hot, yeah, so like with hot, I mean like like like rajazic, it's already activated, um already overwhelmed. So adding more heat, adding more pressure, adding more demand just is going to make it hotter, more activated, more overwhelmed, more rage. And that sounds very obvious when you say it out loud. I mean, it's an it's a no-brainer, right? But yet it goes, yeah, it goes against most of what gets marketed to people who are stressed and exhausted. The message is oftentimes some version of, yeah, maybe you just need more willpower to do this or that, or maybe you know, get a stricter routine, um, maybe a little bit more intensity here or more discipline there. And you know, it's as if the problem is that you haven't tried hard enough yet. I mean, that for sure you have. Um, yeah, and maybe you've heard that voice before, you know, external or internal. Like if I could just be more disciplined, or if I could just push through this, or if I could just get myself together. So that voice is definitely not wrong to want things to be different, but it may be reaching for for a tool or for something that's adding to the load rather than yeah, reducing it or or calming it in in a way. So the patterns we're trying to change through force. So, for example, the the reactivity that keeps surprising us, you know, or the exhaustion that doesn't lift, or also, for example, like anxiety that that won't quite. Yeah. So these aren't primarily cognitive um things. They're they're not the result of insufficient willpower or inadequate discipline. Yeah, so they tend to be patterns held in the autonomic nervous system. They tend to be patterns also held in the body and in the places that often predate language and conscious choice. And force, however well intentioned it may be, force works at the level of conscious override. Yeah, it can for sure suppress a pattern temporarily, and it can also produce results. But it it tends not to reach the layers where the pattern actually lives. And what somatic experiencing, for example, understands and what I've found both personally and also in working with people is that um yeah, shifts like lasting shifts at the autonomic level they tend to happen through something that feels almost counterintuitive to a culture steeped in effort equals worthiness in that narrative. Yeah, it's that um that shift at the autonomic level, it tends to happen through the body registering safety. So the body feeling feeling safe enough. And it happens through, yeah, you could call it maybe like more a gentle approach, yeah. And and that word may have all its connotations with it, but it's so it's not like it's a it's an approach where the body can actually integrate the information, it's not getting flooded, it's not breathing because it's you know too much. And it's yeah, through working with the nervous system rather than against it. So and and so here again, gentle can be like just a bit of a funny connotation because it doesn't mean we're bypassing challenge entirely, by no way, yeah. But we mean appropriate challenge, met also with genuine time to integrate, genuine recovery, and that is part of how capacity builds, yeah. So also by learning to distinguish between the effort that builds something and the effort that actually perpetuates the problem. So the question may shift from um yeah, um the the question may shift from like um how do I make myself do more, or maybe also how can I fix myself? Yeah, um yeah, maybe that's a good one. How how can I fix myself? Because also like that fixing attitude goes right into um yeah, this this control, this willpower. And so the question shifts from there to more questions in the line of like, okay, um, what does my system actually need right now to feel more resourced? And that is a completely different conversation, yeah. So one from control and demand and seeing seeing how I am as a problem towards um what do I actually need to feel more resourced. Yeah, so that's a very different conversation, and it also requires a very different kind of listening, yeah, one that many of us were were never taught, and one that actually also goes against a lot of what the culture around us still insists is the answer. Um in yoga and in Arya Veda, there's a concept maybe also worth naming here, and that's called a sattvik practice. So sattvik meaning harmonious, clear, sustainable, life supporting. Yeah, so what would such a practice actually be? A practice that is clear, that is sustainable, that's life supporting. Yeah. Is your practice? Is the way that you're practicing right now? Does it feel sustainable? Does it feel life supporting? Does it feel clear? Yeah, not a tamassic. Yeah, tamassic, like so not a dulling and depleting practice or collapse practice, and also not not rajassic, yeah, agitating and overstimulating, which oftentimes goes into depleting. Yeah, but the middle way. Um, and the middle the middle way is found not by imposing an idea of what sattva, what harmony or what balance should look like, yeah, but rather by yeah, really genuinely feeling in your very own system and responding to what's actually there. And and that, you know, that can be quite something in the beginning when we don't really have that relationship established with ourselves in that way. Yeah, so so that's also a practice in itself, um, particularly also for those of us who learned early to override what we feel in favor of what we think we should do. Yeah, and it's also worth saying, it it can really take time to even begin to trust what you feel. Yeah, if the body has been overridden for long enough, um, its signals can feel unfamiliar. It can possibly also feel unreliable. Yeah, and sometimes the first step is to learn to notice them, not to have to do anything with them, but to just be like, ah, I'm I'm sensing this. Yeah, without immediately having to act. And without the need to fix anything, to just be like, oh, I'm curious, I'm sensing this, without analyzing it, yeah, without any drama, but just kind of like, oh, hello, you are also here. Oh, nice to meet you. Well, maybe the nice to meet you is already kind of like some sort of a labeling, but you know, just to give space without analyzing, without fixing. That noticing, so that that willingness to be present with what's actually there, that is itself a kind of effort, but it's a different effort. Yeah, it's a different kind of effort than pushing through, then it's a different kind of effort than trying to attain a certain yoga pose, or to just yeah, like stick to a strict plan while your life situation or your body might actually need to readjust a little bit or potentially a little bit more. Yeah, so that effort of actually listening, or that effort of noticing, that willingness to be present with what's actually there, that effort is one that is building rather than depleting. Um, and I also want to say something about Ashtanga Yoga here, because yeah, ashtanga yoga can um can really get that reputation that this episode is about. It can get that reputation of, oh, it's harsh, it's rigid, it's demanding. And um, it can get the reputation that it's a practice that pushes you toward a predetermined shape regardless of where you actually are. And I understand where that reputation comes from. Uh I have seen that version of the practice, it does exist. Um, but to me, that's not what the practice is about. And um, yeah, in my 20 years of being around in this practice, it's also yeah, not what yoga is about. But honestly, ashtanga yoga can reinforce the willpower narrative if we're not careful. And I I probably have um discussions around this with practitioners. Yeah, every once in a while this comes up in the shaler, and I have a discussion about that with someone. Yeah, so the idea that you're only a real practitioner, for example, if you show up a certain amount of days a week doing the quote-unquote full thing, uh, could be the your full series, whatever your full series is, without exceptions. Yeah, and um you know, when I started this practice, I've been there myself. So because I've came, I mean, this willpower over-effort attitude was so entrenched in my body, that's really what I knew. So of course I took it into into my yoga. And yeah, before I knew it, I thought, you know, I need to practice six days a week the full thing. Yeah, uh, it it took me some time to um unravel that for myself, yeah. And uh, and and and in that process, I learned a lot, not just about my approach to practice, but my approach to life, and it really hit me in the face. Um, it's not always pretty. Yeah, and that version, so like a rigid version of practice, can can just become another arena where worth has to be earned. Yeah, another place where the message is more, harder, don't stop. And that you know, I also just want to acknowledge there are shalas there that where that is the attitude. Yeah, but um but I feel most Ashtanga Mysore practices are very uh spaces are very sensible, are really, really wanting to work with you. But there are there are teachers out there with this like control um over-effort attitude. Yeah, so just leaving it like that. But that um so that that approach, a very rigid approach, it's it's just not sustainable. And more than that, it's also not what yoga is about, yeah. Like a rigid approach probably also yeah, takes takes you away from the richness of life, yeah, from actually enjoying life and having meaningful encounters. If if your practice is another arena of tunnel vision, that's actually sad. Yeah, and maybe it's an arena for tunnel vision for a short period in your life, so you learn your lesson. So maybe then it's a good thing for a moment. So, what I've observed over 20 years of practicing and 16 years of teaching is yeah, the practice, when we actually let it do what it's designed to do, it becomes a real mirror. It shows us our automatic tendencies. Yeah, definitely also including the push harder tendencies or including the making it through willpower tendencies, yeah, and including the part of us that won't stop, even when the body is asking for something different. So that's also when injuries can occur, even if the teacher, you know, makes all sorts of you know comments and tells you to do it differently. But if you keep pushing, um that's also when an injury can occur. And also at some point, life probably gets louder than willpower. I mean, yeah, life situations happen that will ask a lot from us. So then, you know, if we if we try to hold up a certain asana protocol, um that will probably only take us so far. The body also changes. I talked about that earlier. Our body changes, it's you know, by design. I mean, yeah, I mean, there's all these anti-aging things. Um, people want to get you know 125. Um but I mean, nature designed designed our body to yeah, eventually we return back to the soil in one way or another, if we want it or not. And I mean, you know, I'm not saying that we should just you know give up and put our hands on the absolutely not. The yoga practice in itself is a means to you know like root up from the pole of the earth, but in an integrated way, and it gives us a lot of outward energy in that sense. We can talk more about it, right? But but our there's also this like big big um surge of controlling aging, like really, like in a way, controlling it by by all means, and it's also like yeah, um, that's maybe for another episode that's gonna explode this this episode here. But can we accept? Can we accept our aging bodies? You know, um and you know uh can we um look for quality of life instead of trying to optimize um every bodily function, perhaps. Let's not get into that right now. Anyway, the body changes with time, right? I think everybody has noticed that. Circumstances change. Um something may happen that you simply cannot white-knuckle yourself through. Yeah, it might be a season of exhaustion, uh, might be loss, a transition, it might be illness. And that's often then when you know, like a fork appears. Um some people actually leave the practice at that point because it gets too close. The invitation to actually feel, to actually adjust, to actually meet what's there rather than override it, that can actually feel more threatening or challenging than the physical difficulty ever was, but to kind of like shift attitudes. Yeah, and some people, um, yeah, some of these people that maybe leave, they may also come back years later and and then actually start practicing, start listening, start adjusting the practice to what the body and life are actually asking for. So they're they're then more receptive, yeah, rather than imposing a fixed idea of what practice should look like. Yeah, and also some people are able when that fork appears to to actually make a transition. Yeah, to actually to start a genuine, genuine. Always have problems pronouncing that word. I still like it. But to yeah, they may start a genuine conversation with with their bodies, and and that you know, starting a more inquiry, like yeah, starting an inquiry with the body, that from what I've observed and in my own practice and from teaching is what is most sustainable and and a most honest approach. And I really strongly believe when Ashtanga Mysore Yoga is approached this way, both from a teacher's and practitioner's perspective, and it may take some time to get there. So when it's approached, approached with genuine inquiry, with a willingness to meet what's actually there rather than overriding it, it can become something quite the opposite of harsh, yeah, of very much the opposite of harsh. It is in that circumstance, if it's an inquiry, it's something very uh supportive. Yeah, it's then a daily practice where you learn to relate to your body in a supportive, in a nourishing, and in a sustainable way. Yeah, so maybe you have experienced the difference between um having periods where you just really pushed through in your practice, and maybe you feel drained and you had a lot less energy for other things in your life, kind of felt emptied out, wrung out, and and then maybe you also have you know experienced when you practiced, when you yeah, experienced more, that you met yourself in a genuine way, that you responded to your needs, like when something settled rather than yeah, something was just pushed through. Yeah, and that experience something settling, meeting yourself with inquiry, that is what mysopractice really can be when we allow it to be that, yeah, not a performance, not a check mark behind usanas, not a numbing of ourselves, yeah, but a real conversation with the body, yeah, and and that takes time. Well, I feel like there can be a lot more um that can be said about this topic, but I think for now let's just leave it with that. I think you get the point. Also, in this um mini-series uh titled What Keeps Us Stuck, we yeah, we've covered a lot of ground together in these past episodes. For example, information that just stays in the head, but that we don't really do anything with besides that just stays at the cognitive level, conversations that stay in the verbal supplements that work from the outside in. We talked about tracking that can replace felt sense with data. We also talked about practices that happen too rarely, too intermittent to actually rewire anything. And now in this episode, we talked about force, willpower control that can actually um uh how do you say that? Deepen the problem sounds a bit harsh, but um, I'm a lack of other words for right now. That yeah, that can maybe reinforce, that's maybe that's better. That can reinforce a pattern that's actually trying to solve. Yeah, and none of these things are wrong, none of these things are also something to be ashamed of or that I want to put the finger at. They're all actually all in themselves, they make sense. They're all they're all like things that feel like they should work, and they're also all like things and and ways to do things. The culture around us tells us to try. But yeah, maybe also as we went through these episodes, maybe you also realize they share something in common. Yeah, they tend to work primarily at one level, yeah. So either cognitive or external or intermittent, and they can all miss the deeper layer where more sustainable or lasting shifts um need to touch at, where where that shift um, the a deeper layer where that shift actually needs to happen, so that change is is more of a you know, is not intermittent, is not just temporary. And that layer is the autonomic nervous system, which you know sits like you know, somewhere different of what we think, um, what we feel and do. And yeah, so if we don't touch that layer, then our thoughts may stay in the anxious, our behavior may stay stuck, and our reactions, yeah, they may keep surprising us, even if we're trying so hard to do it different. Um, and it's also absolutely not an argument against, for example, cognition or the mind. So, for example, understanding and insight and also meaning making, they all have their place absolutely, yeah, like making meaning of experience is extremely valuable. Cognitive understanding is extremely valuable, that insight is very you know valuable. But if we're if we've been working exclusively like top-down, yeah, then like top-down, meaning from the mind downwards, then adding actually bottom-up, so working also from the level of the body, like with the breath, with the autonomic nervous system, um, with you know, in in somatic ways that can really be what changes everything. Yeah, not replacing what was already helpful, but maybe completing it or complementing it, yeah, really adding something valuable to that. And what tends to work here is yeah it's slower, maybe even less dramatic. Yeah, and that is often more powerful than what we may actually expect. Yeah, so for example, it's regular and it's embodied and it includes the mind, and of course it includes the mind, but it also works at the at the level of the body, where the patterns are actually rooted in the autonomic nervous system. So that's where this work builds new felt references for safety, yeah, felt references. So within the level of the body, we build new references that we can sense and feel, yeah, where we build like a new rhythm and regulation. And from all of that, clearer thinking can emerge, steadier behavior can emerge, and more sustainable choices can emerge. Yeah, and then that actually meets your actual system and not an idea of who you should be. Yeah, so that's what a yoga practice with genuine inquiry offers. That's also what somatic work offers. But um the genuine inquiry, if we're wired for willpower and control, it um um if we don't have some sort of um guidance there, someone who can maybe um guide us here is is probably gonna be a tricky one. Yeah. So that's where also being in a space where someone can guide you in in the shala or in a coaching space can be can be really beneficial. Um where some where somebody actually develops in their work a relationship with you, right? And that they can see you. That has helped me. Yeah, or yoga teachers have seen me and addressed something uh in a way that my system could actually um understand it. And also in the somatic coaching where completely new doors opened that I didn't even know existed and didn't even know were shut. It's um continued surprise um in a in a beautiful way. So it's that work is not like fixing someone, yeah. Also, like the work also in in the mysoshalla is not about fixing someone. The work in the coaching is not about fixing, it's not about a formula. Yes, we have some series we work with in Ashtanga Mysore Yoga, but it's not about a formula and it's not about applying a fixed series on someone. Yeah, like no, it's actually really working with the person in front of us and responding to what they need and not just putting putting something on. Them. And the same is also with somatic coaching. Yeah, not throwing methods on someone. And people feel the difference. Yeah. But actually, it's a relationship. Yeah. Building a relationship with your own body, with your own rhythm, and with your own capacity to in a way return back to yourself, if that makes any sense. Yeah, thank you for being with me through this series and for waiting for this last episode on this one for some time. If any of this landed, if you recognized yourself somewhere in these episodes. Yeah, just you know, a reminder, you haven't been doing it wrong. So you it's not like you do anything wrong. Yeah, and you've been trying in the ways that were available to you. And there might be other ways, yeah, ways that work with you rather than against you. And yeah, that's what this whole podcast is here to explore. Um, yeah, before we close, I just want to give a heads up. So the the next episode um might be coming up next week or in two weeks. I want to take a little bit of liberty um for myself, just you know, after this summer, not having my computer, my laptop um propped open. I I notice it's quite something to to open it again. So I just want to like kind of like see and go how how this feels organically to be speaking um uh to the computer. And hopefully someone is still listening. And yeah, also just want to announce a few things. So if you're curious about Ashtanga Mysore Yoga practice and you live in Groningen, you can always join us at practice. Just can you can come with the first Ashtanga Mysore class or with our trial month, and we also have a really special way of starting the practice coming up. So we have an Ashtanga Mysore Yoga Beginners immersion from the 7th of September until 6th of October. It involves four workshops on a Monday, and as these workshops are especially for beginners and unlimited, yeah. You can join our practice, um unlimited practice for the for that month. And two more announcements. And if you're practicing ashtanga yoga already, we we have a fall ashtanga workshop series coming up. So with one workshop in September, one in October, and one in November, like uh on a Saturday from 8 to 2, covering different aspects of the practice, allowing you to get a little bit inspired, get more insights on you know different parts of the practice. And people always really leave these workshops feeling like they they really take something from them, uh, even seasoned, seasoned practitioners. And then last but not least, the Twenta retreat, the Ashtanga and Ayurveda retreat, is happening again next year at the end of April, beginning of May. So all the info is on the website. And um, yeah, without further ado, thank you so much for listening. And if you have any comments or questions, I'm always happy to hear from you. Bye for now.