See You Tomorrow!

A marriage can fall apart in a thousand quiet ways, then collapse in one sentence. Zac and Matt share the real origin of Divorce Dudes, including the financial shock of COVID shutdowns, the loneliness of living like roommates, and the exact moments when divorce pain turned into suicidal thoughts. These are not abstract stories about “getting through it.” They’re the kind of memories that still sting years later, told honestly because someone listening might be sitting in the same silence. 

Zac takes us back to losing work in surgery, watching savings drain, and feeling the walls close in at home. A fight over something as stupid as melted cheese becomes the spark, followed by words that no partner should ever say. He explains what it felt like to sit with a gun, the strange clarity of giving up, and how one song shifted the outcome. From there, we talk about choosing divorce, rebuilding self-respect, and the practical changes that helped him come back to life. 

Matt shares a different path to the same cliff: years of distance, a hidden affair, and the gut-punch of discovering messages that rewrite your whole relationship. After the divorce, he spirals in a studio apartment, convinced everyone would be better off without him, until a small invite from a new friend group breaks the loop. We dig into men’s mental health, therapy, relapse triggers, shame, boundaries, and why support networks matter more than tough talk. If you’re dealing with depression after divorce, loneliness, infidelity recovery, or suicidal ideation, you’re not alone. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people find it when it matters most.

Transcript

Welcome And Why We’re Here

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Welcome back to the Divorce Dudes Podcast. This is episode three. I'm Zach. And I'm Matt. And today we want to tell you kind of how we got here. We just want to go through our stories about what led up to our divorces and uh the events that kind of unfolded that uh started this entire well journey that we're on now. Um I'm gonna start. I'll

COVID Job Loss And Money Panic

SPEAKER_01 0:33

go first. Um my story starts around COVID. Um specifically around March of 2020. That's when the ORs in the United States got shut down by the Surgeon General. And that um put me out of work for a few months. Um both me and my ex-wife worked in surgery. Um, she worked for a hospital. I worked for a private contracting company at a hospital. Um and that derailed us a lot because we weren't getting work anymore. Um we had savings, we had um some backup, but the abruptness with which it happened caught us off guard. Um, we thought we were doing great, um had you know, mortgage or car payment. We were like following the plan that everybody does, where you kind of grow up, you get married, you get a house, you get a car, and then life, you know, you know, does its thing. Um but then yeah, COVID struck. And that is kind of where our downfall started. Um we were kind of already in a situation where we were just kind of going through the motions every every day. We were more roommates than I would say, you know, lovers or um partners. We kind of did our own things most of the time. We would come together at night and like make dinner and watch a TV show or a movie, but for the most part, we kind of lived separate lives already. Um and then COVID kind of brought that to the forefront. Uh we would spend I personally would spend many days by myself because I wasn't working. Um she would go to work because she worked for a facility, so they would put her at you know the screening station as you come into the hospital. Um, she would do temperatures and temperature checks, make sure you're wearing a mask. Ask all the questions, you have a sniffly nose or you know, a fever, do you have a cough, like all the bullshit? Um but we were only getting like 25 hours of work a week, which I don't know if you know this, but that ain't a lot. Especially when you're used to getting 80 to 100 hours a week between the two of you. Well, I mean, we had two full-time jobs where we would planned our life around, right? You get the house, but the house is based on both of your incomes. The car payments, like, oh, we're fine with the car payment as long as we're both working, but as soon as we're not working, that shit catches up fast. What was already tight becomes impossible. Exactly. Um, so about two months go by, and we're still in lockdowns, we're still in this COVID bullshit world where uh nobody can go out and do things, you can't go to the gym, you can't go to the grocery store. I mean, like everything is shut down, you got a space six feet. You know, you everybody remembers this. This is this is the craziness of the time. Um, but then we start running out of money. And that's where my stress level started to go up. And I was like, well, shit, if we don't do something, we're gonna lose the house, we're gonna lose the car. Like this is starting to get real. Um and one day I uh was doing the dishes in the morning, and I remember very, very vividly.

The Fight That Turned Dangerous

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Um we had gotten into an argument that morning um because life, you know, the stresses of life were just starting to hit. Um and she had this habit of making nachos on ceramic plates. And I don't know if you know this about melting cheese in a microwave, but that shit sticks like fucking concrete onto a ceramic plate. It is porous, it's it's impossible to go up, it's terrible. Um, so I'm doing dishes that morning, and the the weight of everything that's happening around us, the the weight of us running out of money and having bills to pay, and the worry of we're gonna lose the house and the car and this life that we've built starts really hitting me because I have been basically alone now for two months while she's going to work four days a week. They're like four-hour days, five-hour days, but she's still getting out and seeing people, like doing stuff. And I'm stuck in the house by myself. So the walls are starting to close in, you know, and I'm starting to feel like I can't do this anymore. Like I can't keep getting up to this bullshit. There was no timeline, there was no light at the end of the tunnel to tell me when this was going to be over. And we were, we were, I don't even remember what the fight was originally about, but we were we were fighting that morning as she was getting ready to go to work, and I'm scraping this plate off, and I dropped it. It was wet, and I'm I'm trying to get this cheese off of this plate, and I drop it, and it hits the sink and it shatters into a million pieces. And I yelled at her about the cheese. I lost my temper and I yelled at her, and then she told me the the worst thing that I think anybody could ever say to somebody. Um, well, let me back up a little bit. I had mentioned that I was struggling. I had mentioned that I can't keep doing this. I don't, I don't understand this world that we're in right now, and I'm scared. I can't, I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to get up in the mornings because everything around me is kind of crashing down and crumbling. You know, my life is starting to like lose meaning because I don't have a job anymore, even though I technically still was employed. I was still getting a little money from them. It wasn't nearly enough. Um and that's when she said, maybe you should kill yourself. And that's that was the the hardest thing that I've ever heard in my entire life. Okay, I spent 19 years with this person. I know that our our relationship wasn't perfect, I know that we had issues, but we also took vows, right? We were for better or worse, sickness, health, you know. And at that point, she gave up on me. And I didn't know what to do. I shut the water off, I stopped, she walked out, got in her car, and went to work, and then I sat down on the couch with broken glass in the sink still, and I just sat there and I stared. I stared for hours. And then I went to my room and I found it's a Glock 23. I don't know if you know anything about pistols, but it's a it's a pistol. Um and I said, you know what, maybe she's right. Maybe this is what I need to do. So I grabbed it and I walked back downstairs and I sat down back on my couch, and there's next to me on my right side on the on the sofa next to me on the cushion is this black pistol. And I was like, I can't I can't sit here in silence and do this. So I got on YouTube and I start putting on all the Chris Cornell songs that are sad. I put on, you know, something to remind you by uh what is it, Fred uh um uh stained. You know, I put all of the sad, depressing, you know, suicide songs you could possibly think of, and I sat there and I was like, this is this is it, this is how I get out. And it actually was like scary how euphoric it think it's about to feel. Yeah, it it that's exactly right. You get this like clarity that now I don't have to worry about anything anymore. So I grabbed the gun and as soon as I do, the song changes, and I there are songs that elicit an emotional response. And to this day, this was six years ago, to this day I still can't listen to the song without crying. Um the song 45 by Shinedown came on. But it wasn't

A Song Interrupts Suicide

SPEAKER_01 9:39

just the song, it was a live version of the song that had this like intro from the lead singer. He was talking about his friend who was also going through the same kind of struggles. And he talked about how he was like his friend was in his room and he could hear furniture moving to like block the door, and how he was talking to his friend about how like there are ways out that don't include this and that there's life to live, and and at the end of this this like monologue that he does before he sings the song, he talks about how he hears a bang, and then it goes quiet, and then he talks about how he can hear his friend moving stuff out from the front of the door, and his friend says, I couldn't even do this, and then he goes into the song 45, and I sat there for five five minutes, just listening to the song. And that's when I realized that my life had changed fundamentally at that point, and that there was no going back to the way it was. Because I sat there with a gun in my hand, ready to pull the trigger, and the universe stepped in and said, It's not your time.

SPEAKER_03 11:05

Universe is scraped that

Ending The Marriage And Rebuilding

SPEAKER_03 11:07

way.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Yeah. And for the next year, I still played with a good husband. I tried to make the relationship work. But every day I woke up, I knew that this wasn't who I wanted. It wasn't who I wanted to be, it wasn't who I wanted to be with. It was like my life had fundamentally changed and I got clarity. So for the next year, I played the good husband. I got up, I still made breakfast and lunch and dinner and packed lunches and got in the car and we drove to work, but we didn't talk. Yeah. I didn't speak to her for close to a year. And then one day I finally got the courage to be able to just do what needed to be done. So this isn't this isn't an ad for Buffalo Trace, but I went and I bought a bottle of Buffalo Trace. And I came home and I opened it and I took a couple of shots and I called her and I said, Hey, we need to talk when you get home. And I think at that time she knew what was gonna happen, but I don't think she had like fully accepted it. So when she got home, I pushed the bottle across the counter, we're standing in the kitchen, I said, have a drink, take a shot. Um and you can see the tears kind of well up in her eyes, because she knew what was coming. And I felt the strongest I'd have ever felt in my life. Because I had a definitive answer to what needed to be done. So I told her, hey, I don't want to be married anymore. I think that we're different people than what we were when we met. I think that we've grown we've grown apart. I think it's time to move on. And after that happened, it felt like the entirety of the universe had been lifted off of my body. Sorry, I'm getting notifications on my watch. Um and from the moment on I knew that I was never gonna be the guy that I was at that point.

SPEAKER_03 13:31

I had accepted that I didn't need to take my own life to be happy.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

I'd accepted that I, as a man, was strong enough to handle whatever came along. And it's it's kind of funny because two days after that event happened, we got an email from our bosses that said, Hey, government, it's like late May now of 2020. The government's lifted the the ban on collective surgeries, work out when back to work. And then my life got went back to normal-ish. Right? Money started coming back in, bills were getting paid. Still wasn't happy. Yeah.

unknown 14:23

Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

So we wrote it out for another year, and I'm the one that made the decision to end it. And I think that was the best decision I've ever made in my life. Because I'm here now. Yeah, absolutely. And we wouldn't have met. I wouldn't know you. I wouldn't have this life that me and my now wife have built. Um, I call her my saving grace. She's has been there for me f ever since, and she's my rock and my happy place. Um, but I just wanted to let you guys know what I went through so that others, I know that I'm not the only one that's done this or been through this or felt these things. That it does get better. It doesn't come naturally, it doesn't come without work, but it does get better.

SPEAKER_03 15:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

And you can you can get through that adversity and be stronger on the other side. Like people that I know now, uh the day that happened, I said, you know what, fuck it. I'm I'm not gonna be overweight anymore. I'm gonna start getting the gym. I'm gonna actually go out and I'm gonna do things. So I joined sports leagues and played kickball and made friends because I had at up to that point I had been kind of a shut-in because we lived an hour and a half commute from work. But we lived like 30 minutes, 30 miles, but it in Nashville traffic, it was miserable. So we were we were shut in, we were isolated. I said, fuck that. I'm not gonna do that anymore. I won't be a yes man. That like changed my life. Being a yes man changed my life. Um so anyway, that's that's my story. And I just I want everybody to know that if you're at that point, think about it. Think about it long and hard. Don't make a rash decision, don't let somebody else's words hurt you to the point that your only option is to end everything. That's not that's not living life. And I need everybody out there to just grasp life and live live life. Like, so I'm gonna turn the mic over to Matt now. I know this isn't gonna be easy for him. This was really hard for me. I've told this story a hundred times to a hundred different people now, and it never gets easier. Like I said, I still can't listen to that song to this day without crying. It comes on the OR all the time, and I'm like, hey, you gotta change that.

SPEAKER_03 16:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

Everybody looks at me like I'm a crazy person, but I'm like, I still have some demons.

SPEAKER_03 17:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

I'm not free of them. I manage them.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

Pack up my demons, take them with me, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

Sometimes. Sometimes you have to do that.

SPEAKER_02 17:15

So tell us about your so we touched a little base on this on our previous episode. Um, chicken nuggets and iced tea.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

It's gr I I hate I hate to happen to you, but that made the perfect title for an episode.

SPEAKER_02 17:32

So myself, um, yeah, the chicken nuggets and

Matt’s Marriage Unraveling For Years

SPEAKER_02 17:36

iced tea, that was their introduction. Um me and my ex-wife, we had been living in separate rooms for about five years. Oh shit. So prior to me finding out about the other person, um, yeah, we had been living separate in the same house for nearly five years. And I had tried. I had requested, begged, pleaded, let's go to therapy, let's fix this, let's try. Um she was convinced that it wouldn't work. Uh little did I know it wouldn't work because there was already somebody else, and she knows me. She knew she knew me enough to know that that was a Grand Canyon decision. Yeah. There's no jumping over to the other side. There's no coming back from it. When she fell through, it's over. And so she knew me well enough to know that that was the Grand Canyon decision when she had infidelity in the relationship that we were over.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Her life was gonna be cut off. The life that she knew at the point was gonna be gone.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

Now, whether or not she thought she could hide it forever, or if it was just a fling, or whatever the initial thought might have been, doesn't really matter. Uh, it went on for three years. Jesus. And and I have always believed that until trust is broken, you have it from me.

SPEAKER_03 19:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

And it is it is something I truly believe in that I'm not gonna doubt the words that come out of someone's mouth until they give me a reason to. Right. And I didn't have a reason to. She wanted to go on a cruise with one of her girlfriends. I hate being on a boat. Now take me to the lake all day long, but put me in the middle of the ocean where I'm just stuck on a boat. I'm just not a fan. I I don't want to be there. I don't want to know all these extra new people who are all belligerent and stupid and sticking off keys.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

So she would go on trips with a girlfriend.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

So I thought. Um these were trips with her now boyfriend in the relationship, and this girlfriend of hers that I thought she was going on trips with was helping hide the relationship. So there was a lot of just messed up stuff behind the scenes that I was led to believe was okay. Yeah. We were going through a rough patch because who gets married at 19 and thinks they have it all figured out? Oh, lots of people do. You know, they're not usually successful. You know, even 15 years into the relationship, things aren't okay. Right. We have grown up, we have changed, what we are doing and what we desire have altered. We've grown up. And we didn't grow together, unfortunately. We grew apart. Yeah. We got two kids, and we're doing our best to try and figure out how this continues to look forward. And unfortunately, it happened to be my daughter's birthday party. We're

Finding The Messages And Calling It

SPEAKER_02 20:43

gonna go out for dinner, and I get a phone call from my now ex-wife saying, Hey, will you grab the present I bought for her off of my table in the bedroom?

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

So I go to her the room that she's staying in, and I grab it, and it happens to be right next to a computer that's on with messages to the girlfriend talking about her boyfriend, and it's just right there on the screen. It's not not even a screensaver could have saved me. It's just right there. And I'm just staring at it, and then I read three years' worth of messages as I scroll back through their Facebook messaging app. Um, only to realize it'd been going on for a long time. And that was the day I found out and also ended it. Um and it was get out.

unknown 21:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

I should never see you ever again in my entire life. Which is in reality, we got two kids, we did the whole thing, right? We go separate the house, separate the cars, separate everything. Yeah, but once that trust is broken, you they're dead to you. They really are. Yeah. And You know, I like to reiterate, I don't actually wish her harm. I don't wish her ill or for her to suffer.

SPEAKER_03 22:06

Right.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

The the life she chose is unfortunate for her, because she's not doing amazing. But also, I don't actually wish that on her because that's still the mother of my kids. I didn't marry her because I hate her. I married her because I loved her. Right. And there is always a piece of me that wants good to happen for her, but it won't be because of me. And I won't participate in it. And I don't want to talk about it. And I don't, you know, I don't want to be a part of that life anymore. Um and so about a year later, we had finally finished the court filings.

Rock Bottom In A Studio Apartment

SPEAKER_02 22:47

You know, we get all the separation paperwork done, we get the divorce paperwork done. And I'm living in a studio apartment downtown. Downtown Lexington. Downtown Lexington. Because the kids told me they really don't want to visit, that they'd rather just go do stuff with me on the weekend. They don't want to stay the night. So I have no need to bedrooms keep a bedroom for them. Yeah. And I'm in my yes man era where I'm just trying to rebuild friendships, rebuild relationships in general, trying to figure out who I am and what I want in life. And I hit this wall where I don't want anything. I have failed in every aspect. I have not had my kids feel like you've failed in every aspect. In that moment, that was the only thing I knew, though. It was my root, my truth. Right, right. And I realize it's not. And I'm only here today because I have people in my life who reached out at the right moment because the universe said asked that man for a drink. Yeah. Because unfortunately, I too was sitting on my bed in my studio apartment. I had a HK VP9, all gray, loved that. Loved that gun. It's a great gun. It's a beautiful gun. No longer have that gun because I shouldn't have guns around me currently. But in that moment, I actually, similar situation, had music on on the TV because I hated the silence, because everything reminded me I was alone. Everything reminded me of my perceived failures. Yeah. Not having a family, not having a wife, not having my kids with me constantly. I was in that moment frustrated at my job because I wasn't progressing in the ways that I thought not just should happen, but were promised to me when I took the opportunity. And all of these things are just compounding over and over and over again. And I thought to myself, I'm worth more dead than alive. This would take care of my kids.

SPEAKER_03 25:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

If I just disappeared. And gun in my lap, bringing it to my face. I get a chime on my phone and it's a text message. And it's from someone that's in the dog park. We call it the dog park group. I happened to had met a couple of people in the dog park because I had a dog and we're living in a studio apartment, and they have a park on property. And so I had met some of my neighbors, and one of them texted me and said, Hey, do you want to grab a drink? In that moment, that was the only thing that sounded amazing. Yeah. And I put my gun down on my nightstand. I legitimately looked at it as if it was my savior. That was the thing that was going to fix all my problems. And I put it down and I looked at it and I said, see you tomorrow. Sorry. Trust me, I know exactly how you feel right now. I went out for drinks and got absolutely shammered. Good. I mean, sometimes that's what it takes. Never told a soul. Came home and it happened to be the weekend, and I got nothing to do because I don't quite have friends yet. This person that I've known for like three weeks has, you know, took me out for a drink last night. And you can't, you can't. Outside of that, I'm not, yeah, yeah. I'm not, but I don't want to be a burden to anybody.

Therapy Relapse And Asking For Help

SPEAKER_02 26:52

And that's that's what it felt like is to speak about my feelings, to speak about my struggles, to speak about what was bothering me and the loneliness that I was feeling, the parts of me who just felt like a failure. I didn't know who to speak out and who to call and who to deal with. Right. And caveat to that, I did go to therapy a couple of times prior to this. Um and I had gone maybe four or five times, both while I was still married and after during the divorce period to this moment, you know, maybe a handful of times. Not going regular, not working on myself. I just had someone I could cry to. Yeah. And um the next day, I'm in that same situation. And someone else from this dog park group was like, hey, we're gonna watch a movie tonight. Do you want to come over?

SPEAKER_00 27:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 27:58

And I said yes. Yes. And did exactly that. And I was the yes man for that moment. I put it down again. See you tomorrow. And day three, it was the exact same feelings. These they had not left. Oh, they're not dealt with them. They don't really ever go away. Acknowledged that I was that far gone. Yeah. And once again, someone asked me if I wanted to do something. And put it down, and I was like, three times is no longer a coincidence. Three strikes, you're out. That's right. Can't this is this is your sign that I I have received my sign. I understand I meant to be here a little longer. Yeah. And so I packed it up and I took it to my storage unit and I put it away, not to see it again until I moved. Fast forward nearly two years, gone to therapy. I've worked through all these things that I thought I needed to work through. Work through the death of my mother, work through the divorce, worked through the loneliness and the depression and the attempted suicide. And I'm thinking I've got everything figured out. I'm finally feeling joy again in my life. And I end up in a relationship. And it was a passionate, fast relationship. As that first one is typically afterwards. And when it ended, every feeling I thought I had dealt with, every feeling that I had thought I worked through, spoke out loud into existence to make sure it never harmed me again, was right there unpacked on my front door. Blood's back in. And start having those thoughts again of failure. And how is it I can go and do the work and be going through therapy and I advanced in my job and I'd advanced in my, you know, life and I advanced in my my children's lives and everything else. And then it's as if none of it mattered all over again. As if all of it never left for even a moment. And when I felt that way, luckily I was going to therapy regularly. And I do make an emergency telehealth, you know, hey, I need to talk to someone. Yeah. Um and still I have I have this great friend group, but we there is there is only one individual who actually knows that any of this has gone on, and they don't know the extent of it. And how they helped me because they were one of the peoples whose text message came over and literally saved my life. Have you told them? I actually I told them about a month ago is the first time we were talking about starting this, and I knew the story would come out, and I needed them to know. How did they react? Um, honestly, two two ways. The first was utter heartbreak that they knew nothing that I was actually feeling those ways. Um and the other half of that was the part that I didn't want was sympathy. Yeah. And and then whenever I do text this person or call this person, they answer with, Are you okay? What's going on?

SPEAKER_03 31:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:38

And it wasn't what I needed. This goes back to what I said earlier, though.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

Those that care don't matter. Those that matter care.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

Yeah. Right. And and this person does. And they and they really do care. Um also reminding them I'm okay. I mean, I have people I can talk to. You happen to be one of them, and you now know my story, but don't treat me as if every day is my last.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

I mean, this goes with any handicap though, right? Like you you see people in wheelchairs, and like, I don't want you to treat me differently than anybody else just because I have a disability, right? Uh mental health is I mean, it's a disability, right? Yeah. You you constantly live with that. You're it's always there. You're always struggling with it and fighting it. Um it's just the support group is so important.

SPEAKER_02 32:31

Oh, so important. And that's what we're trying to do here. Yeah. Is because myself, I didn't have I had people in my life, but not people who I trusted with telling my story to peel back every single layer of this onion.

Why Vulnerability Saves Lives

SPEAKER_02 32:49

Right? You put on mask at work and you come home and you put on a different mask. I'm fine. And you go out with your friends for drinks, and that's a different mask. Same shit differently. Maybe you have, you know, a significant other in your life, and you've peeled back a couple of layers. They know some things. But have you told them everything? Have you actually opened up? Do you know what you're feeling? These are things I didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't understand that what I was feeling was something I needed to deal with. Right. And not in the way that I was trying to. I hope anybody who's currently struggling realizes you're better off here. Yeah. No one's better off with you gone. Correct. No one will be better off with you not here.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

The thing that that hit me the most was when I actually told people about the emotions and the the idea that I would be better off not here. The people that cared the most came they became closer. Yeah. Like I got I got closer to those people than I've ever been in my life. And it was because I was able to be vulnerable with them. I was I was able to express the feelings that I was holding in and realize that if I wasn't here, their lives would be worse off. Like they wouldn't be it would be detrimental to their life too. Yeah. Like the loss of me taking my own life would hurt them. And I didn't think about that prior to that. Uh I I was selfishly thinking about myself. Like I was like the world is collapsing on me. The only way I have to get out of this is to end it, and then I will be better. Yeah. But I didn't think about all the people whose lives would be hurt or they would have the trauma of me taking my own life for the rest of what of their lives.

SPEAKER_02 34:59

Yeah. And it's and it's interesting. You know, I've I did a little bit of research about what we were going to talk about today and trying to make sure that I knew more than I did when I walked in here.

SPEAKER_01 35:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:14

And and one of the things that just kept coming up over and over again was actually a quote from um oh, it wasn't Jim Carrey, I'm sorry. The original yes man. Uh no, it was Robin Williams. Oh, that's a good thing. And when he says suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Correct. And then you realize not only did he say something so profound and understand it and be able to tell everybody, he suffered every day until his last.

SPEAKER_03 35:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:53

This is a good thing. And I don't know if he had people to talk to. Correct. That he truly trusted with that piece of him.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

See, this is this is what I I was mentioning earlier about myself. I was affected by Robin Williams' death. I don't know him. I never met him. I never spoke to him in my life. But the effect he had on my life was dramatically changed the day I found out he took his own. Same thing goes with Chris Cornell, Anthony Bourdain. These people that they were celebrities, but I actually respected them as people. Yeah. I had never met him, never had a conversation with him, didn't know him from fucking Adam. But they had an effect on my life. And I can't say that it hasn't negative negatively affected me knowing that they were struggling and that they took their own life. And that's that's kind of why I wanted us to get this episode out, is because I know there are people that think the world would be better off without them. And that is solely untrue. There are people that care about you. You just have to suck it up and be able to let them know what you're feeling. Because that's the only way you're going to find out if they truly do care. There are people that you can tell this your your deepest, darkest emotions to, and they won't care. They're your colleagues at work, your your acquaintances that you deal with on a daily basis that you don't really talk to other than the five minutes they say, How are you in the morning? Yeah. But then there are other people they might not even have mentioned how much you mean to them. That would be devastated if you weren't there. Yeah.

Reach Out And Final Quote

SPEAKER_01 37:54

So uh I just want to finish this episode by saying, We love you, we see you, we want you to be here. If you need to talk to anybody, reach out to us, divorce dudes podcast at gmail.com, tell us your story. Uh you're not alone. You're not going through this by yourself. There are millions of people that have gone through this that have had the same emotions and the same feelings, and the the likelihood that your story is exactly the same as somebody else's is actually probably pretty high. So there are other people that know. I mean, we had no idea that our stories were so similar until we told each other.

SPEAKER_02 38:36

So second person, by the way, I ever told was yourself minus my therapist. And now we got podcasts. All because we were talking about doing this podcast, and I'm like, well, you have to know my story. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 38:50

Now we have a fucking podcast. Yeah. Um, so on that note, like I said, we love you guys. We want you to be here. We want you to reach out to us, divorce students podcast at gmail.com. Website's gonna be coming in the next little bit. Uh, we'll give you another way to reach us. Um, and then uh I'm gonna have Matt here give us some uh words of wisdom as we close out.

SPEAKER_02 39:10

Yeah, I really like this idea of having a quote here at the end of the day. So I've been I've been trying to find some new ones. Um today is by Charles Bukowski. And when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want, what do we call it?

SPEAKER_03 39:28

Freedom or loneliness? That's heavy. That's really heavy.

SPEAKER_01 39:35

Um I currently call it freedom. I'm trying to call it freedom, but it's pretty lonely. You're only lonely if you're by yourself. That's actually terrible. I'm not gonna get that in. Alright, guys. Go out there, go to the bar, meet some people, make some friends, divorce dudes out. Cheers.