How to deal with rejection?

🎙️ How Do You Deal With Rejection?

Rejection can be painful, but Scripture teaches us not to allow offense, bitterness, or resentment to take root in our hearts.

In Leviticus 19:17, God warns against harboring hatred within. When people reject you, your responsibility is not to carry the wound—it is to guard your heart.

Jesus instructed His disciples in Matthew 10 and Luke 9 that when a place or people rejected them, they were to shake the dust from their feet and move forward. In Acts 13, Paul and Barnabas did exactly that, refusing to let rejection stop their assignment.

Not everyone will receive you. Not everyone will understand your purpose. Not everyone will celebrate what God is doing in your life.

Your job is not to convince people to accept you.
Your job is to remain faithful to God's calling.

Shake the dust off.
Release the offense.
Keep moving forward.

God sees every rejection, and He is the righteous Judge. Those who reject God's truth will answer to Him, but you must not allow their rejection to become your bitterness.

🎧 Tune in as we discuss how to overcome rejection, protect your heart, and keep walking in purpose.

#FaithPodcast #ChristianLiving #Rejection #KingdomMindset #FaithOverFeelings #BibleStudy #Matthew10 #Luke9 #Acts13 #Leviticus19 #HealingFromRejection #WalkByFaith

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Let's Talk 1213. And I just would like to always say thank you for joining me. I hope you guys are ready for another episode. Today we're gonna talk about how to handle rejection. Because your girl really has a problem with dealing with rejection, and it took me a really long time, and I still have to do it every day on how to handle rejection. So one thing I've learned, right, is that you cannot allow rejection to grow into an offense, right? If you feel rejected, you have to find the strength to dust your feet off, right? In the Bible, it talks about how, like, if someone doesn't receive you, you'll have to dust your feet off and walk away. And it's okay, right? It's okay if people will never check you, if they don't want to accept you, if they don't want to accept you for who you are. Like for me, when I grew up, it was really hard for me to deal and handle rejection. Your girl felt as if rejection was something that really hurt me. I felt misunderstood. I felt like people didn't love me because they rejected me. But oftentimes I had to remember that, you know, in the mix of rejection, it also helped me build my character. But I'm not gonna try to change who I am in order to please people, right? If people don't receive you, this in Matthew's chapter 10 and Luke 9, it says judgment will come to them. So if people don't receive you and don't receive who God has created, you don't have to change yourself. So I was a big because I did not know how to handle rejection well, I was a big on people pleasing. Like it was really hard for me not to try to change myself in order to fit in or compartmentalize myself in order for people to receive me. So oftentimes it was really, really hard for me to understand and grasp the concept that if people reject me, it's okay. I get to move on and move to the right people who will receive me with love and kindness, right? Um, in Acts chapter 13, the disciple did this and they it went on to fully finally saying like they were filled with joy, they were filled with the Holy Spirit. So once you're able to deal with rejection, well, joy comes after it. Like God's Holy Spirit comes to comfort you, right? Because it said that the Holy Spirit is a comforter. So you can find that in Acts chapter 13. If you guys know, or you don't know, I'm always big on reading the word for yourself. So as you're listening to this podcast and I'm dropping certain scriptures and certain verses, I want you guys to do your own study. Don't listen to only me. The Bible is basic instructions for believers before we leave Earth. So it just teaches us how to navigate situations like this, right? Um, I know it's easier said than done when it comes to rejection, right? A lot of times I'm realizing even now that even in intimate relationships and my friendships, that when I'm rejected, it kind of is like, wait, is something wrong with me? Like, um, and then I had to learn there's a difference between constructive criticism and rejection, right? They're both not the same. Like some people are telling you certain things to provide constructive feedback so that you could come about a version of yourself. But if people are blatantly telling you, like, I don't want nothing to do with you, I don't want you in my life, I don't love you, right? I don't appreciate you, or give you signs and actions that show that they don't love and appreciate you, and it feels like rejection, don't take an offense, right? Address it like, hey, I really feel like you're rejecting me right now. Like this feels like a thing. Um, and ask it, right? Because sometimes we, what we think is rejection can be constructive criticism, can be feedback that they're giving us, or maybe it is something that we're doing. However, have the conversation. Like oftentimes I feel like we don't have conversation enough. And we often use our feelings to the make certain decisions. And that's not how God created us to be, right? Like if we're feeling rejected, if you're feeling like something is coming up, go have the conversation, go let that person know, like, hey, you offended me. You've I feel rejection by you. I feel like you're not listening to me. One of the things I've learned recently is that I had to deal with a lot of emotional neglect. Like, oh my God. When I mean emotional neglect, not feeling understood with my emotions, not having an escape or a safe space to share my emotions because I was doing too much, right? And so knowing how to deal with those negative emotions and stuff like that, you have to learn how to manage. Like I've managed with negative responses, right? I've learned that I cannot respond to rejection negatively, right? Um, oftentimes that when you, when I was dealing, not you, when I was dealing with rejection, sometimes I go into this place of condemning myself because I wanted to fix myself. Then because I felt like something was wrong with me and I wasn't good enough and I felt unworthy, I went into isolation. And then from isolation, it went into me committing sins and falling back into the very things that used to ensnare me. I used to go back to smoking, I used to go back to sex, right? And trying to feel some type of connection and some numbness to those feelings and emotions of rejection. Rejection is one of the things that made me question, am I good enough? It made me question, like, am I worthy enough? And if you're like me, I know that's not a good space to be in, right? And feeling unworthy, feeling hopelessness, feeling helplessness also leads to suicidal ideations, right? And if you don't know what an ideation is, just suicidal thoughts, like, dang, like I shouldn't be here. Like, Lord, I'd rather be with you in heaven than he on earth and to have to deal with the sufferings. And sometimes I still feel like that, like God gives me the capacity to deal with the sufferings and the negative emotions, right? But there are positive ways of dealing with rejection. There are is a way that the Bible gives us to deal with rejection, and it's not to always go into the negative, right? Because if you're condemning yourself and the Bible says that those who are made in Christ are new and there is no condemnation, that means that your flesh is operating. And so we also have to get into a place of understanding when it's our flesh operating and when it's our spirit man operating, right? Um, but I had to learn oftentimes people are rejecting me per se, but they're rejecting the God in me. And so let me just clarify what that means for you, right? Like oftentimes you have giftings, oftentimes you have anointing, oftentimes God has given you with a certain caliber of to-dos and how to live and stuff like that, and how to basically be able to hold people accountable, right? The Bible says that we are supposed to judge each other righteously, right? And when I say each other, brothers in Christ, sisters in Christ, right? Because we are supposed to uphold each other to the standard of the word of God. So for judging each other righteously, right? You don't also want to be judging somebody and you have something that you need to deal with, right? That's why it says it's better for you to deal with the plank that's in your eye than the speck in your brother's eye. So first you have to have self-awareness, okay. Am I judging people based on my standards and what I think? Or am I righteous enough to even be able to judge? Because those who judge will be equally judged, right? So it's a lot of standards and things like that around it, but you have to be able to discern. You have to be able to discern. So for me, it's like because I know I have a certain anointing and calling in my life, I hold people accountable. Like I am the type of person that's gonna tell you about yourself. Like, I'm gonna tell you, like, hey, like I don't think that that was right. I don't, and I and oftentimes I say this could be my opinion, or I will find biblical principles to make it be known, right? And so from there, because people are rejecting the calling on my life and who God calls me to be, it made me start feeling rejected. Like I'm just saying what God put on my heart. Like I can remember times where I share the word with people and they just look at me funny, or like I might be acting a certain way and people turning their nose up at me. And it was just like, God, I'm just doing what you call me to do, and it's hard enough for me to be obedient. Why do you have me dealing with people's attitudes and rejection and things of that nature? And then it grew into offense. And we need to deal with that too. That we need to deal with the fact that oftentimes if we don't get grounded into who God is calling us to be, and because people are rejecting us, we start getting angry with God, right? And it's not God's fault. Like we have to be able to go to that person and say, hey, what you did offended me. What you did made me feel like rejection. What you did didn't feel good to me, right? And it's triggering me. I remember I had told somebody that like what you said triggered me. Like, I didn't like it. You make me feel like you don't want me around, making me feel like you don't really care about me. And I end up just leaving, like exit stage less, because I'm the type of person that honestly, if you don't want me around, I'm not gonna force myself into your life. I'm not gonna try to force myself into a situation that you don't want me to be a part of. And it's okay, like it hurts, but what am I supposed to do? Force myself for you to love me and like me and be it. So I I've grown over time with just one, I have to accept me, who I am. There was a long time I used to use a hashtag love me or hate me. Either way, I'm still gonna be me, right? And so accepting who you are, accepting that you have to stand 10 to Brown and who God called you to be is the most important thing. Um, what I thought was rejection was actually offense. So I used to mix the two, right? Rejection is somebody saying, Hey, I don't want you here. An offense is you being triggered by a pattern or something that they're saying that's causing you not to feel so good, right? And so instead of going all the way left and saying, Oh, you're rejecting me, I'm cutting you off, I had to really figure out what offense was for me and deal with that and address that and causing that to crawl, draw a wedge between those that I loved and care about. So when the Bible tells us how to deal with offense, right? So not only are we dealing with rejection, but sometimes rejection can look like offense or offense can look like rejection when in all reality there are two different things. So I also want to teach you guys on how to deal with offense, right? How to respond to offense based on Matthew chapter 18, verses 15 to 20, right? And we're gonna read those scriptures now. If your brother sins, right, it says if your brother offends you and you show him his fault in private, if he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two or more with you so that on the testimony of two or three witnesses, every matter can be confirmed. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, he is to be you to you as a gentile and a tax collector. So there's three stages like one, let me go to you in private and do with the offense. All right, that didn't work. If it worked, thank God. All right, it didn't work. So now I need to go before witnesses. Now I'm gonna get some friends, do some mediation, and we're gonna try to get down to the thing. All right, if that works, great. But if that doesn't work, let's take it to the church, let's go to pastor, let's go to the elders, let's go to somebody who in the church that can be able to help us reason. Now, if that don't work, at this point, I need to treat you like a gentile tax collector. And for me, I was just like, what does that mean? Like, treat them like a gentile or tax collector. Those are usually people who were basically frowned upon in community. And so I had to go do digging. So in 2 John verse 10, it says, do not receive them into your house nor greet them. So now it's like, I'm not even gonna accept you in my circle. I'm I'm not gonna even allow you to be have access to me. So now we're being attentional that if this person rejects me, if this person is offending me and I'm trying to address a thing and they don't want it to take accountability for it. So that was another thing I have to share with you guys. Accountability is just like repentance, right? You can have self-accountability and then you can have people holding you accountable, right? Saying that I'm I'm trying, I need you to help me not turn back to my old ways, or I need you to help hold the standard for me when you see that I'm flipping back, right? It's like repentance is saying I'm sorry and I'm never gonna do it again. So you put accountability there to make sure that that latter part of never doing it again happens, right? And so if we're trying to hold people accountable to the offense, right, and say, hey, I really don't like how you handled me. I really don't like how you made me feel. I need you to check that. I need you to check that. And if you went through all of these different stages, I feel like I love the way God gives us three different stages on how first, let's talk about it in private. Nobody needs to know. I'm gonna come to you, I'm gonna tell you how you're offended. If that don't work, all right, let's get some worthy people, people we trust, right? So that we can talk through it, right? Okay, and that don't work, all right. Now we're going to the church. That was the bigger congregation, right? And if that don't work, now I gotta treat you as somebody who I should not even allow to have access to me. I shouldn't even break bread with you, I shouldn't even bring you into my own house. In 2 Thessalonians chapter 3, verses 6 and 14, it says, withdraw from them, do not keep company with them. So you're deadline is supposed to have so you a lot of times when we're offended and rejected, we try to keep those people around because we're attached to them. And God is saying it letting us know blatantly, you don't have to give them access. There are some people who just need to stay in the outer circle of things, and they do not need access to you, right? And 1 Corinthians chapter 5, verse 9, it says, Do not eat with such a person. Like in Leviticus chapter 18, 17, it says, Do not hate them in your heart, but do not bear sin, but rebuke them. So you're not supposed to bear the offense, you're not supposed to be, don't be cold-hearted against them, right? You still have to be got show godly love, but they don't need to be in close proximity to you anymore. So then it's not your fault if they offend you again. It's not their fault if they reject you again, really, because God gave us the standard on how to handle those things. And instead of us going into isolation and condemning ourselves like I used to do, now I'm very intentional. Like, okay, when I feel rejection, when I feel an offense, I'm gonna let it be known. And I'm gonna come to you in private. I'm gonna let you know. Like, hey, I didn't like that. Like I did that before, especially with my mom. I went to her, like, you're hurting me. Like, I don't like the way that you're hurting me. And oftentimes when we do that, we also run into the mistake of people also making it about them. Like you go to them with a problem and they're like, Well, you hurt me too. Now you're being facetious. You would have never said anything if I didn't come to you and try to talk to you about a thing, right? And so, even in navigating that, it's like I understand and you acknowledge, hey, I understand I hurt you. However, I'm coming to you because I want our relationship to work, I want things to be better between us. So when I did that, it was like it became an argument. It became like, look, we don't need to do this, blah, blah, blah, blah, right. And that's not the first time, right? Even when I was in my marriage, it was the same thing. I used to come to him and be like, yo, you don't love me, and I don't feel loved by you. Like, I want to teach you how to love me. And it's like, I that was my same speech all the time. And it's like, people want to love you and do things on their terms, and that's not okay. It's not okay. And I and I took it to the congregation. I went to people for mediation. I've tried all of the things. So at this point, I just make sure that they're not in close proximity to hurt me again, right? I'm not inviting them into my space. I'm not breaking bread with them. I'm not bearing their sins. I'm calling it out, I'm calling out the offense, and I'm letting it be known that this is not okay. I don't feel okay by the way that you're treating me. And this is why I love the word of God because it teaches us how to live holy. It teaches us how to handle offense, right? Like I said back in Matthew chapter 10 and Luke 9, it says, if somebody don't receive you, dust off your feet. In Acts chapter 13, it says that you will be filled with joy and the Holy Spirit. So there is something about walking away from people who reject you and walking away from people who offend you that brings joy because they no longer have access to you. One thing that is our responsibility is to guard our hearts, right? The Bible says, lean not on your own understanding, right? So to guard our hearts. It also said that God will give us a peace that surpasses all understanding. Why? To guard our hearts. So there's something, there's a level of responsibility that we have to take when it comes to dealing with negative emotions like rejection and offense. It's our job to go before the people, it's our job to try to make it right. And if it doesn't work, you have to be okay with letting me below. So I hope that encouraged you. How would encourage me? Let me know in the comments what you do. Thank you again, and I love you. Bye.