Downsizing Without the Overwhelm | Robyn Strickland, Love It or Leave It

Downsizing is not just a property decision, it is one of the most emotionally complex transitions people face. In this episode, Mel Dennis talks with Robyn Strickland, founder of Love It or Leave It, about what really happens when someone lets go of decades of belongings and a family home.

Robyn shares why clutter affects our wellbeing, the role adult children play, how the process works step by step, and the one thing she says makes the biggest difference: starting early.

Connect with Robyn Strickland, Love It or Leave It: https://loveitorleaveit.com.au

Property, Straight Up is brought to you by Domain & Co, Your Property People. domainandco.com.au

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

One thing I've learned after nearly 30 years in property is that behind every property transaction there's a story, a big decision, and often a lot more emotion and complexity than people expect. This podcast is all about giving you access to the people, insights, and strategies behind smart property decisions so you can make better moves, whether you're buying your first home, investing, selling, downsizing, or planning your next step. Today we are talking about a part of the property journey that often doesn't get enough attention, and that's the emotional and practical side of downsizing and moving later in life. Because for many people, it's not just about selling a home, it's about letting go of memories, managing decades of belongings, and navigating a really significant life transition. I'm joined today by Robin Sticklin, founder and business principal of Love It or Leave It. Robin specializes in helping seniors and their families navigate the often overwhelming process of decluttering, downsizing, and relocating. What I love about Robin's approach is that she doesn't just focus on the logistics, she supports people through what can be a very emotional and complex transition, turning what feels overwhelming into something manageable and supported. Robin, thank you so much for joining me. My absolute pleasure, Mel. Robin, can you tell us a bit about what you do and how Love It or Leave It came about?

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Not too long ago, I had the opportunity to move not once, but four times in three years. Four times in three years. Who wants to do that? Well, and not nobody wants to do that really. And because who loves moving? I don't think anybody loves moving either. But it gave me the opportunity, which was great, gave me the opportunity to practice doing the moving. Not once, not twice, but four times. You must have been an expert after four times, that's for sure. Exactly. In fact, I felt like I was. I felt like that had given me the chance to, first of all, face a few decades of home environment, our home that we've been living in for a long time, and going through those belongings and items that were precious and working out what to keep and what not to keep.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

It's amazing how much you just accumulate over the years, too, isn't it? I'll just pop it back in that cupboard and you don't see it for five or ten years. Yeah. Do you need to keep it?

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Yeah. Sometimes yes, but some a lot of the time no. And we do all accumulate things. This is a normal, you know, that's normal. But we all have a finite amount of space as well. So I did this process and did it again and again. And so I got to experience firsthand this overwhelming and stressful time. Now people rank moving up with stressful experiences. Yeah, really, really tough sometimes. And so, as you said, I got I got really good at it. And in fact, can I say I might kind of liked it? You certainly can.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

And my husband who's in a weird sort of sort of way.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

My husband, who's very capable man, by the time we'd been doing this process a number of times, his response was actually just to crawl under the table and curl up at a ball. He couldn't quite face it. And I was just getting better and better at it. So this it emerged that this was something that you're calling. I enjoyed, yes. Fantastic. And then we had the opportunity, the sort of the other part that really cemented it for me in terms of establishing Love It All Leave It was uh we supported Pete's parents to move and downsize from their home into retirement accommodation and then into aged care. So we helped them in relatively quick succession as well to do the full downsize. And I was able to not only do that process of sorting belongings and but be right there for his mum and dad and be the one working with them and helping them to decide. And it was one moment with Jenny, and um I said, Well, she was feeling a little bit fatigued from making decisions about what to keep, and I said, All right, you're gonna love it or you leave it. And um That's how the name came out.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

Fantastic. Oh, what a great story. So when people are downsizing, what are some of the emotional challenges you see them facing?

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Well, they come in any number of ways. Recently I uh had a lovely customer and we were downsizing working in the the office space, the home study, and that was pr had predominantly been her late husband's space. And whilst it was full of stationery and staples, staplers and and paper and other bits and pieces like that, so non-emotional items by any means. When we took out all those items, for her, she had a little cry because it represented him.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

That was his space and that was the piece that she was still kind of keeping together. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

And so that was surprising for her, and you know, surprising as a as an emotional response. It's tends to be much more obvious, but that was um a moment where we we paused and and remembered him and and lovely, lovely to do that and be able to think Yeah, and uh lovely for you to be there to support through that, I think.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

You know, doing that by yourself is such a mammoth task, and then you're having those emotional moments on your own. It's it's great to have that support close by too. A lot of people don't even know where to start. What's usually the biggest hurdle when someone begins the process?

SPEAKER_00 5:26

The reason why people don't know where to start is because clutter, and you know, if we're looking at a home of 50 years, the family home, and people are moving out of being in for a long time, not knowing where to start is can be the biggest hurdle. And this is because clutter does impact our well-being. It impacts how our mental state. And there is um studies on this. So there's uh an article from the Journal of Environmental Psychology. One of the findings that they came up with after studying excessive clutter on the well-being and the psyche was that it can and does evoke feelings of overwhelm, entrapment, disconnection, and impacts can impact other things, uh, you know, relationships or self-esteem as well. But even if it doesn't have the full-blown effect, these things are playing out for any of us in in this situation. So then knowing where to start suddenly becomes huge and overwhelming and stressful. And that is that is where we step in. We we come in and we have a plan, love it or leave it, and to make the start and to to see people through.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

And we often see that in selling a home where a parent has passed away or or moved into the retirement village or the cared space. Um and they're like, Yeah, we'll sort it out. Three months later, give them a ring, we're still sorting it out, you know. And in the meantime, the money that could have been gained from the sale could have been helping their parents to live a better life, or, you know, this this property that's sitting here doing nothing for them. They just can't make that first step is is such a big hurdle for them to get on.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Absolutely, you're absolutely right. And to have the property ready and that income coming in is it's um a far better situation.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

So you also work closely with what you call professional children. Can you explain what that means and the role that they play?

SPEAKER_00 7:15

Often it's the children, the adult children that instigate the idea of a move, the idea of moving into a place where there is safer. Safer, that where the care is easily available. Less maintenance. Yeah, and yeah, less maintenance in on the home, upkeep and then and gardening. And and but even if people want to you know, the garden hasn't doesn't have to disappear altogether. Lots of people like gardening, and it's a lovely pastime. But even that can be downsized, the that whole bit. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

Thinking my parents' property. I hope they're listening to this podcast. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

So the adult children, often the ones who are sort of prompting um a move or or the they're thinking about the move.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

Do you find that having you involved, you know, sometimes it's you know quite emotional for not the just the parents who are going through it individually, but then getting the kids involved as well. It then they're adding their own emotional experience into all of that as well. And and in their own busy lives, their own families that they're juggling with kids and sports and school and all that sort of thing. To have someone like yourself come in can, I imagine, relieve a whole lot of pressure. Oh because you've got a little bit of an independent kind of view on on everything as well.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Yes, well, it relieves that time pressure that you've just described. People do have busy lives and taking annual leave to to do some some rut work like moving things around and sorting out items is not quite the ideal, even though it's supportive of parents, obviously. But the meanwhile, you know, from your own family and and even from my own family as well, working alongside the relationships are are deep and complex. And so if if someone who's like an adult daughter, but not not related in any way, comes in and can talk about the items and hear the stories and support the decision making around what to keep and what to let go of that's not directly involved, emotionally involved. It it just removes a whole layer of complexity to make that overwhelming process happen much more smoothly. Absolutely. So, what does the process actually look like when someone's working with you? We start every customer journey with conversation. We talk about what the customer needs, what um their goals are, and then we also talk about where they're going to. So from they need to achieve what they're hoping to achieve, exactly. And then from there we start with the big ticket items or the big items, the furniture and and the floor plan, and we work out what will fit in terms of furniture and what won't, and if it's the right scale of furniture, sometimes you know a a grand sideboard from the dining room won't be the right scale for the big ten seat and a family table. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 9:58

So do you actually go to the property that they're moving to to see what's going to happen there?

SPEAKER_00 10:03

Yeah. So when we we familiarise ourselves with the property, we get a floor plan, we measure, measure everything, measure all the furniture, and then create a n a new floor plan with the furniture in implants so they can visualize and see what's going. And then we know what storage is available and what will fit in terms of the smaller items. And a big part, the big offering that we bring that we've touched on already is that sorting and supporting people to make decisions about what is truly precious to them and what is functional, what they'll actually use, what they are actually using right now and what they'll need to use in their new home. So it's those two categories. And we have a decision-making framework that gives people confidence to decide what to let go of and build momentum around that process so that it comes to completion. Like it's for, you know, that happens.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

So you work side by side with the client, obviously, when the client's around to be able to do that or wants to do that. Do you also just do it on your own and decide, well, this is important for the family to look at? This is probably not important for the family to look at?

SPEAKER_00 11:04

Yeah, and we would do that after consultation with the family according to what they need and um how they'd like that to have happen.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

What about when there's maybe some antiques involved or you know, the family don't really know what everything is worth? How do you go about, you know, assessing all of that? Like is it we don't want it, but can we resell it? Do we just throw it away? Do we you know, there's often a lot of you know, thought process around I don't just want it to go to a tip.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Yeah, and and lots of things needed. So yeah, great question. We have relationships with auction houses and so we arrange to have things valued and auctioned through those connections.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

Fantastic. From my side, I often see the ability to move forward with a property decision is held up by the overwhelm of everything else. And we touched on this before as well. But how often do you see that happening? I guess that's why they called you in. Yes. At the point where they're like, I cannot do this most app.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

Yes. And I've just been chatting to a family and they're due to move in a couple of weeks, and they've some things have been happening, but but often the focus is on deciding where to move to, you know, what location is suitable, perhaps the arranging, you know, with the the vendor advocate or the real estate about selling the home. So these other things kind of take precedence and um people find themselves in a position not uncommon really.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

It's all just very emotional, isn't it? It's not just about decluttering and getting rid of a lot of the stuff that you've had for years and years and but it's about just that that physical moving out of the home that you've been in. Um and if you've been there for a very long time, that's you know often even harder.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

So it goes yeah, it's parked over there and sometimes put their head in the sand and and say they'll think about it later until it's not too late, but yeah, but late in the piece and and um then becomes even more stressful.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

When's the right time, do you think, to think about thus starting to downsize or declutter? As soon as somebody is thinking about moving and relocating, that's the time. So even before they've made any real decisions, just you might as well start now. Yes. And that can just be a simple conversation with you. Absolutely. And creating a bit of a plan and where to make a start. You mentioned the family leaving and talking to you and they've got two weeks to move. That's probably not the ideal time. No, it's that sounds a little stressful.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

In any circumstance, that sounds under um a little bit under the pump and stressful.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

But nothing that lovely little Lou can't help, can't handle, of course. So the next question is a bit of a segue from that is what is some of the biggest mistakes that people make when they try to do this on their own? And I guess a key thing would be leaving it too late.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

You're you're right. And so then the pressure, the mistake that that becomes pressure on family to jump in to make it happen. To make it happen, families who you know have their own jobs and and children of their own and pitbull games to go to, and it's a big deal and um for families to jump in and do that. So and they do, and it's awesome. People are amazing how that how they step up. Yeah, that's a that's a sort of an impact of not sort of starting the downsizing process.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

Yeah. So that can be, I guess, a tip on what people can make the pro how the people can make the process less stressful is is getting onto it early. You know, even if you're you're thinking about downsizing or even just decluttering, if you're looking around the home and thinking, actually I've collected all this stuff over all of these years, I'm not actually using any of this stuff. And we we see people put things in storage and pay for storage year after year, and then they get all the things out of storage and go, oh, I actually don't want this, but they've spent all this money on their storage. Like even at that point, I guess to start thinking about doing that that decluttering process. Is there any other tips that you would give them to make it less stressful?

SPEAKER_00 14:42

So, well, part of that starting early is is about chipping away and building the confidence and momentum. So I'm sure anyone of us can look around and say, well, that thing's been sitting on my shelf for a very long time. And actually I don't like that at all. So there'll be things like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

Get rid of that. That's funny, you you kind of hang on to it just because you think you need to, or because someone gave it to you, and if they come around or like, oh, do I actually Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Or you just haven't bothered. Yeah. I know I certainly have um items though. And when you dust things, do I want to dust this again? Exactly. Exactly. Start early, that's definitely key. And then um calling you. Calling us, yes.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

That's gotta make it easier, I reckon. So starting early, Rob, where would that begin?

SPEAKER_00 15:26

Start straight away, start with things that are easy, emotionally easy. So start clearing out underneath the laundry trough and the the laundry cupboard. It's easy to throw out. The third drawer of the kitchen. The third drawer of the absolutely the third drawer. Everyone's got a third drawer, I think. They do. I'm glad you got one of those drawers. And and then move to the linen cupboard, like these very unemotional areas that there might be some things to choose and decide, but they're easy to build, as I you know, say again and again, that momentum. There's no coming to a grinding halt happens all too often. So that idea that you are moving forward and and making it happen. The things like photographs or journals or letters that needs to happen at some point, but not initially. Box them up, label the box, and pop them aside for later sorting, chip away at those in front of the telly at night.

SPEAKER_02 16:21

Absolutely. So, in closing, Rob, if someone is feeling overwhelmed and thinking about downsizing, apart from calling me to help them sell and buy and you to help them downsize, what's the first step they should take?

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Actually having a plan, nutting out a plan about what they want to do. And at the head of the plan, set a goal, set a big picture goal about where they're moving to, what they want that to look like.

SPEAKER_02 16:47

How many times have we heard fail to plan, plan to fail? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

The you know age-old saying. Yeah, absolutely. And so how love it or leave it operates, of course, is it's very we are systematized and and plan, we provide a plan and a schedule and a timeline, and but always the customer's goal of where they're headed is is key. So that when we're all in the nitty-gritty in in the quagmire of moving, it You're still nurturing them through that process.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

Nurturing through the process and they know where you're going. We can know where you're headed.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

Remember exactly where we're going and what's happening. Yeah, fantastic. So that's a it lifts it helps lift, it helps the customer, it helps them.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

Oh, amazing experience, I think. Why I've got you in today. Robin, thank you. It's been such an important conversation and one I know that will resonate with so many people. If anyone is listening would like to connect with Robin from Love It or Leave It, we'll include her details in the show notes. And if you're thinking about downsizing, selling, or just don't know where to start, I'm always here to help you guide you through the process with the right team around you from Domain and Co. Thanks for listening to the Melbourne Property Brief, and don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode. Thanks so much, Mel. It's been a pleasure to be here.