Episode 8: From Victim to Survivor to Thriver (Part 1): Naming Your Stage

Episode 8 – Where Am I on the Journey? (Victim, Survivor, Thriver – Part 1) 

Description:
Are you a victim, a survivor, a thriver—or some mix of all three? This episode introduces a compassionate framework for understanding where you are in your healing without self‑judgment. You’ll see biblical examples of each stage and be guided through a gentle exercise to locate yourself in different areas of life (relationships, faith, body, emotions). Instead of a label to get stuck in, you’ll gain language that helps you receive what you actually need in this season. 

 Primary Scriptures for this episode (feel free to pause and look them up): 

• Psalm 34:18 – The Lord close to the brokenhearted.
• Exodus 3:7–8 – God sees, hears, and comes down to rescue.
• Exodus 16–17 – Israel in the wilderness (no longer slaves, not yet settled).
• Genesis 50:20 – Joseph’s words: “You meant evil; God meant it for good.”
• 2 Corinthians 4:7–9 – Hard‑pressed, but not crushed.

In our next episode, we’ll continue this theme with Part 2—looking at identity: how to move from trauma‑formed labels (“I am broken, too much, not enough”) to an identity rooted in Christ as beloved, chosen, and called. 

Until then, may you feel seen and honored exactly where you are on this journey—from victim, to survivor, to thriver. 

With fierce love and unshakeable faith,
I’m Rev. Stormyee, and this is Wholeness. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Welcome to wholeness with Reference Dormy Edmondson. A space for healing, faith, and kingdom purpose. I'm Reverend Stormy Edmondson, Ordained Minister, Christian Life Coach, and your companion on the journey from trauma to triumph. Here we talk about the real things: healing from pain, renewing the mind, building holy boundaries, growing in faith, and walking boldly in the calling God has placed on your life. Whether you're in a season of survival, restoration, or thriving, this is your reminder that God sees you, God is with you, and your story is not over. So take a deep breath, settle your heart, and listen for what the Lord wants to speak to you today. You are welcome here. You are seen, and you are being restored here. Exodus chapter 3, verses 7 through 8. God sees, hears, and comes down to rescue. Exodus chapter 16, verse 17. Israel in the wilderness, no longer slaves, not yet settled. Genesis chapter 50, verse 20. Joseph's words, you meant evil, God meant good. Hard pressed, but not crushed. Hi friends, welcome back to wholeness with Reverend Stormy. We've talked a lot about specific pieces of your healing, your story, your body, your grief, your trust, your relationships, your boundaries, and even forgiveness. Today I want to zoom out and look at the larger arc of your healing journey. This episode is called From Victim to Survivor to Thriver. Part 1. Naming your stage. We're going to define what it really means to be a victim, survivor, and thriver, look at biblical examples of each stage, help you locate yourself without shame, so you can take the next right step. If you've ever wondered, am I stuck? Am I actually growing? How do I know where I am? Then this is for you. Let's take a moment to pray. Heavenly Father, you see the whole arc of our lives at once. You know where we've been, where we are, and where you are leading us. Would you give us language today that frees us from shame and help us cooperate with your work? Help us name our stage with honesty and hope. In Jesus' name. Amen. Take a deep breath. You're not being graded today. You're being understood. Segment one. Why stages matter without boxing you in? When you've lived through trauma, healing can feel confusing. Some days you feel strong and hopeful, other days it feels like you're back at square one. You might think, shouldn't I be further along? Why does it still hurt so much? And am I doing something wrong? Having language for different stages doesn't put you in a rigid box. It's not a definition. It gives you a map. Think of it like this Victim Harm is happening or has just happened. You are powerless and in danger. Survivor. The immediate danger is past, but you're living with the impact, learning new skills, grieving, and rebuilding. Thriver, your life is increasingly defined not only by what happened to you, but by the healing, purpose, and connection God is growing in you. You can be at different stages in different areas of your life. Thriving at work, but surviving in relationships. Surviving emotionally, but still feeling like a victim around certain people or memories. The goal is not to slap a label on yourself. The goal is to understand where you are, so you can receive what you need in this season. Segment two The Victim Stage Naming Reality Without Shame. The word victim often gets used as an insult. Playing the victim. But sometimes victim is simply the truth. You're a victim when someone is harming you against your will. You're under someone else's control or power. You don't have realistic options to get safe. You're a child who can't leave an abusive home. You're being threatened, coerced, or manipulated. In those moments, you are not being dramatic. You're being honest. Scripture does not shame victims. Throughout the Bible, God's heart leans toward the vulnerable, the oppressed, the widow, the orphan, the stranger. He creates laws to protect them, not to lecture them. Think of Israel and Egypt. They are slaves. They are oppressed, controlled, abused. They cannot just work harder or be more productive to fix it. God says in Exodus chapter 3, verses 7-8, I have indeed seen the misery of my people. I have heard them crying out. I am concerned about their suffering, so I have come down to rescue them. In that season, Israel is victimized. God doesn't say stop playing the victim. He names the oppression and moves to deliver them. Think of Joseph. When his brothers throw him in a pit, sell him into slavery, and he ends up in prison for a crime he didn't commit. In those seasons, Joseph is a victim of other sins. He did nothing to deserve or cause the harm. It happened to him. If you've been abused, neglected, assaulted, or controlled, you were a victim of injustice and sin. And that's just reality. You cannot heal what you will not first name. Saying I was a victim is not staying stuck. It's telling the truth about power dynamics and harm. Segment three. The survivor stage. The long middle. Once the immediate danger has passed, you move slowly and unevenly into the survivor stage. This is often the longest season. Survivor looks like you're out of the abusive situation, but your body still reacts as if you're in danger. You're learning about trauma, going to therapy, practicing grounding, trying to set boundaries, your grieving losses, telling the truth, and maybe facing backlash for doing so. You're building a new life without the old patterns, even if it still feels shaky. It can feel like nightmares or flashbacks, emotional swings, hope one day and despair the next. Exhaustion from doing the work of healing. People around you assuming you're fine now because you left the situation. Think of Israel in the wilderness. They're no longer slaves in Egypt. God has delivered them. But they're not yet in the promised land. They're in between. They're learning new rhythms, receiving new laws, learning to see themselves not as slaves, but as God's people. They complain and doubt, have moments of faith and moments of fear. Sometimes want to go back to Egypt because at least it was familiar. That's the survivor stage. No longer in bondage, not yet fully settled. Very much in process. If that's where you are, you are not failing. You are surviving. You are learning. Segment four The Thriver Stage. More than what happened. The word thriver doesn't mean you never have triggers again or that everything is perfect. Thriving is about trauma no longer being the only headline in your life. Thriving could look like you still have triggers, but you have tools and support to handle them. You experience real joy, connection, and purpose, not just for survival. Your identity is increasingly rooted in who God says you are, not in what was done to you. You have capacity to serve, create, and love in ways that would not have been possible before. Think of Joseph's years in Genesis chapter 50, verse 20, when he tells his brothers, You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Joseph is not saying it's fine now, it's no big deal. He names their intent as harm, but he also sees how God has woven redemption throughout his story. Think of Paul in 2 Corinthians chapter 4, verses 7 through 9. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed. Perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned. Paul doesn't deny hardship, but his identity and outlook are rooted in God's work in him, not in the harm alone. Thriving doesn't erase your past, it reframes it. Your trauma becomes a chapter, not the title of the book. Segment five. Jesus speaks to each stage. I want you to listen. As if Jesus is speaking to whichever stage you resonate with the most right now. You may hear yourself in m more word than one, and that's okay. To the one that's still in the victim stage, maybe even in danger right now. My child, what is happening to you is not your fault. You do not deserve this treatment. I see every moment, every threat, every violation. I'm not asking you to stay in harm's way to prove your faith. I desire your safety and protection. Ask me for courage and wise help. I will lead you step by step towards safety. You are not weak for needing rescue. You are precious to me. To the survivor in the long middle. Beloved survivor, I see how tired you are. You have left what harmed you, and now you face the long work of healing. Therapy, boundaries, grieving, learning new ways. Sometimes it feels like you're going in circles. But I see progress in every small decision toward life. I'm with you in the ordinary moments, when no one claps for you. When you're nourishing your body, going to bed on time, choosing not to text that unsafe person. You are not stuck. You are healing. To the one beginning to taste thriving. My child who is learning to thrive. It is okay to enjoy this. It is okay to laugh. To dream. To build. Even while parts of you still remember the pain. You are not betraying your younger self by receiving joy now. This joy is part of my justice for you. I'm inviting you to walk as a beloved one who can pour out without abandoning your own heart. Take a breath. Notice which words felt the most for you. Segment six. Exercise. Locating yourself without shame. We're going to do a gentle reflection. If you can imagine a line in front of you, on one end is victim, in the middle is survivor, and on the other end is thriver. If you had to place a dot on that line for where you feel you are overall right now, where would it go? You might say, I'm very close to the victim side. I just started to realize what happened. Or I'm solidly in survivor. I've made changes, but it's still hard. Or I'm closer to Thriver in some areas and survivor in others. Now think about specific areas in your life. Relationships, work or calling, faith and spirituality, relationship with your body, your emotional world, how you handle feelings. In each area ask, do I feel more like a victim, a survivor, or a thriver here? You might journal it like relationships. Survivor, I'm still learning boundaries. Work. Closer to Thriver. I have more stability and confidence here. Faith. Survivor. I'm wrestling, but I'm still here. Body. Often victim. My body still feels like the enemy. Emotions. Survivor. I'm learning to feel without drowning. This is not a report card, but it is a snapshot. Then ask Jesus, where do you see me right now? And what do you want to say to me about this stage? Listen for a word. An image or a sense. Maybe learning. Rebuilding. Resting. Or emerging. Segment seven. Reflection questions and homework. Here are some questions you can sit with this week. In which parts of my life do I still feel like a victim? And what would safety look like there? Where do I see survivor strength in myself? Places I've already taken brave steps. Are there any small ways that I'm already experiencing Thriver that I haven't recognized? For homework, choose one of the following. Option one. Stage mapping journal. Draw three columns, victim, survivor, thriver, and under each, jot down moments or areas of life that fit. Then write a short prayer for each column, inviting Jesus into that stage. For example, Jesus, protect me as a victim. Strengthen me as a survivor. Deepen my joy as a thriver. One next step. Ask Given where I am, what is one next step? If you're in victim stage, maybe reaching out for help, making a safety plan or talking to a professional. If you're in survivor stage, maybe continuing therapy, or resting, or setting a new boundary. If you're in thriver stage, maybe exploring purpose and serving from your overflow. Write that one step down. Option three, a compassion letter. Write a short letter to yourself from Jesus' perspective at your current stage. It can start with I see you as my and wait for the word that pops into your heart. Victim, survivor, thriver, and this is what I want you to know. And just listen for the answers. Segment eight. Our closing and preview. Friends, wherever you find yourself on that line, hear this. You're not behind. You're not failing because you're not thriving yet. You're not weak but because you still feel like a victim in some areas. Your stage is not your value. It's just your current location on a journey God is taking with you. Let's pray. Jesus, thank you that you meet us in every stage. Victim, survivor, and thriver. For those still in harm, I ask for protection, rescue, and wise help. For those in the long survivor middle, I ask for stamina, comfort, and signs of progress. For those beginning to taste thriving, I ask for joy without guilt and purpose without burnout. Help each listener where they are, without shame, and see it as a place where you are present, not absent. Give them one clear next step and remind them that their stage is not their identity, their truest identity is that of your beloved child. In Jesus' name, amen. In our next episode, we'll continue this theme with part two looking at identity, how to move from trauma-formed labels, I'm broken, too much, not enough, to an identity rooted in Christ, as beloved, chosen, and called. Until then, may you feel seen and honored exactly where you are on this journey, from victim to survivor to thriver. With fierce love and unshakable faith, I'm Reverend Stormy, and this is wholeness.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Hand in sinful faith to plunge me, cleansing Jesus, how I trust him, how I proved him Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus for grace to trust him. Yes, it's sweet to trust in Jesus, just from sin and self to seek, just from Jesus, simply taking life and rest enjoy Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him, how I through him Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus There's nothing sweeter, there's nothing better in the glory of nothing stronger, there's nothing high nothing, there's nothing better than the same thing.