Episode 12 – “Setbacks, Relapse, and ‘Bad Days’: You Are Still Healing”

Episode 12 – When Healing Feels Backwards

Description:
You’ve been doing the work—and then out of nowhere, an old coping pattern or trigger hits hard. Does that mean you’re back at square one? No. In this episode, you’ll learn why healing is not linear and how to interpret setbacks and “bad days” through a lens of grace instead of condemnation. Rev. Stormyee walks you through creating a simple “bad day plan” so that next time you spiral, you’ll have compassionate, concrete steps to reach for instead of shame.

Primary Scriptures for this episode (feel free to pause and look them up):

• Philippians 1:6 – He who began a good work will carry it on.
• Proverbs 24:16 – The righteous fall seven times and rise again.
• Psalm 42 – “Why, my soul, are you downcast?” honest lament and hope.
• 1 Kings 19:1–8 – Elijah’s collapse and God’s care.
• Romans 8:38–39 – Nothing can separate us from God’s love.

In our next episode, we’ll look at joy and play—how to slowly reintroduce joy, creativity, and playfulness into a life that’s been defined by survival and seriousness.

Until then, when a bad day comes, may you remember: you are still loved, still in process, and still on the path of healing.

With fierce love and unshakeable faith,
I’m Rev. Stormyee, and this is Wholeness.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Welcome to Holeness with Reverend Stormy Edmondson, a space for healing, faith, and kingdom purpose. I'm Reverend Stormy Edmondson, ordained minister, Christian life coach, and your companion on the journey from trauma to triumph. Here we talk about the real things. Healing from pain, renewing the mind, building holy boundaries, growing in faith, and walking boldly in the calling God has placed on your life. Whether you're in a season of survival, restoration, or thriving, this is your reminder that God sees you, God is with you, and your story is not over. So take a deep breath, settle your heart, and listen for what the Lord wants to speak to you today. You are welcome here. You are seen, and you are being restored here. You are still healing. Feel free to pause to look them up. Philippians chapter one, verse six. He who began a good work will carry on. Proverbs chapter twenty-four, verse sixteen. The righteous fall seven times and rise again. Psalm forty two. An honest lament and hope. By now we've talked about your story, your body, your grief, trust, community, boundaries, forgiveness, identity, and purpose. We've also started to confront shame and invite in the kindness of Jesus. Today we're going to talk about what happens when things don't go perfectly. Those days or seasons when old patterns flare up, or symptoms spike, or you feel like you've lost all your progress. This episode is called Setbacks, Relapse, and Bad Days. You are still healing. We're going to explore why healing is not a straight line. How to respond when old coping or symptoms return? How God sees you on your worst days, not just your best. If you've ever thought, clearly I'm not really healing. I'm back where I started. And this is for you. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, don't you know the days when everything feels like it's falling apart? When we're triggered, tired and ashamed. Would you meet us in those places today? Help us see setbacks the way you do. Not as a proof of failure, but as moments to receive grace. Amen. Take a breath in and let it out. You are allowed to have bad days and still be in process. Segment one. Healing is not linear. Most of us wish that healing looked like this. A smooth upward line, always better. Never backwards. But in reality, healing looks more like up and down, forward and back. Spirals that revisit old themes from a slightly different level. You might have a week where you sleep better. Your triggers feel lighter. Your boundaries feel solid. And then something reminds you of the past. You have a big conflict, your body gets sick or exhausted, and suddenly you're disassociating again. You're people pleasing again. You're shutting down. Self-criticizing. You're reaching for an old coping strategy. In those moments, the enemy loves to say, See? Nothing's changed. You're right back at square one. All this work was pointless. But we know that's not true. Proverbs chapter 24, 16 says, Though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again. Rising again doesn't mean you never fall. It means falling isn't the end of your story. Segment two, Elijah's crash, even the prophets collapse. Let's revisit Elijah in 1 Kings 18 through 19. In chapter 18, Elijah has just confronted false prophets, seen God send fire from heaven, experienced a powerful victory. You think he would be on a spiritual high. But in chapter 19, Jezebel threatens his life. Elijah runs into the wilderness, he collapses under a broom tree and prays. Take my life. That is a crash. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. But let's notice what God does here. He doesn't say, Elijah, how dare you feel this way after such a victory? He sends an angel with food and water. Elijah sleeps, eats, and rests again. Only after that does God gently speak and give him the next steps. Elijah's claps did not cancel his calling. His bad day didn't make God regret using him. If God responded to Elijah's lowest moment with care, nourishment, and gentle guidance, how much more will he do for you in the same? Jesus speaks to you on your bad days. I want you to hear this as if Jesus is speaking directly to you on a day when you feel like a failure. My beloved I see the days when you are triggered. I see when you slip back into old coping. Shutting down, overworking, scrolling, numbing. I'm not surprised by these days. I'm not keeping score against you. I remember your whole story. I know what your nervous system has been through. I know how little support you've had at times. I know how much courage it takes just to keep breathing. When you fall, I do not step back in disgust. I come closer. I'm not asking for perfection. I'm asking for honesty. When you stumble, reach for me, but not away from me. Your setbacks do not erase my work in you. Take a breath. Let that image of Jesus sink in. Not as a disappointed supervisor, but as a compassionate savior. Segment four understanding relapse and old coping. For many survivors, healing includes working on addictive behaviors, it would be substances, self-harm, porn, compulsive spending, or eating, or involvement in drama. Relational patterns, initiating contact with unsafe people, overgiving, staying where it's unsafe. Internal patterns, self-hatred, obsessive thoughts, disassociation. A relapse or flare-up doesn't always mean that you didn't learn anything. You're just like before. All your progress is gone. Often it means your system was more triggered than you realized. You were more alone or depleted than you knew. You needed help and didn't have enough support in that moment. Relapse is information. Something in me is still in pain and reaching for what used to bring relief. That doesn't make it okay or harmless, especially if it hurts you or others. But it does mean responding with curiosity and compassion. This will help you heal far more than responding with self-hatred. Segment five grace-centered response versus a shame-centered response. Let's compare two ways of responding to a setback. A shame-centered response could be I can't believe I did this again. I'm disgusting, hopeless, pointless. What's the use of trying? You hide from God, from others, and from yourself. You may spiral deeper because you feel beyond help. A grace center response may look like I'm really disappointed and sad that this happened. This doesn't erase my progress, but it does show me that I may need more support. You bring it to God honestly. Jesus, here's what happened. I don't want to stay stuck in this. Help me. You make practical changes, boundaries, tools, plans to support yourself next time. Philippians chapter 1, verse 6 says, He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion. God started this healing work, he is committed to continuing it even through your stumbles. Segment 6. A gentle bad day plan. Let's create a simple bad day plan you can use when you feel like you're spiraling. Think of it as a small compassionate script. Step one, name what's happening. I'm triggered, I'm overwhelmed, I'm in a shame storm, my body's in survival mode today. Step two, lower the bar. On hard days, the goal shifts from doing all the things to doing the next kind thing. Ask yourself, what is the smallest, kindest thing I can do for myself right now? Drink water, step outside for a few minutes, or take a shower, protect a safe person, even just today is hard. Three, reach toward connection. Shame says hide, but healing says reach. That might mean talking honestly with God. I feel like I'm failing. Messaging a friend or a therapist, listening to worship or grounding exercise. Delay harmful decisions. If you feel tempted to do something that will deeply harm you or your progress, practice delaying. I will wait ten minutes and do a grounding exercise first. I'll text someone before acting. You won't always execute this perfectly, but even doing one of these steps is movement toward healing. Segment seven reflection questions and homework. Here are some questions you can sit with this week. What does my inner voice usually say on bad days or after a setback? Looking back, how have I already gotten stronger compared to a few years ago? Even if I still struggle. What tends to make setbacks more likely for me? Is it a lack of sleep with certain people? Overcommitment to holidays, anniversaries? For homework, choose one of the following. Option one, write your bad day plan. On a piece of paper or in your phone, write a short bad day plan with three to five steps. When I feel like I've failed, I will include at least one grounding step, one kindness toward yourself, and one way to reach out. Keep it somewhere visible. Option two, keep reframing one setback. Think of a specific setback from your past and journal about it. What actually happened? What did I say to myself about it at the time? What might a more compassionate Jesus aligned interpretation be now? Option three, a scripture anchor. Choose one of today's scriptures. Philippians chapter one, verse six, Proverbs chapter twenty-four, verse sixteen, Romans chapter eight, verses thirty-eight through thirty-nine. Write about it and place it where you can see it. On a bad day, read it slowly and say, This is still true about me today. Segment eight closing a preview. Setbacks are part of healing, but not proof that you aren't healing. You are not disqualified by your bad days. You are not back at zero because old pain blurred up. You're a human being with a history walking with a faithful God who refuses to give up on you. Let's pray. Jesus, thank you that you are not surprised or scandalized by our setbacks. You see the patterns, the triggers, the exhaustion behind every stumble. For every listener who feels stuck in a cycle, I ask for fresh hope. Remind them that falling is not the end. Show them one practical way to respond differently next time. Not perfectly, but with a little more grace. Surround them with people who will sit with them in a mess. Not shame them for it. Thank you that the work you started in them will be completed. You will be faithful to continue, not because they are flawless, but because you are. In your heavenly name, Jesus. Amen. In our next episode, we'll look at joy and play. How to slowly reintroduce joy, creativity, and playfulness into a life that's been defined by survival and seriousness. Until then, when a bad day comes, may you remember you are still loved, still in process, and still on the path of healing. With fierce love and unshakable faith. I'm Reverend Stormy, and this is wholeness.