CHAPTER THREE - Chamber of Secrets

The universe finally introduces itself to humanity on Mars.

Meanwhile, hidden beneath Earth, a secret organization unknowingly prepares for a completely different disaster.

Dragged into a classified meeting about his invention, Elliot Turner realizes the future of the species may now depend on keeping certain people very far away from technology.

A sci-fi comedy audio drama about first contact, alien life, Mars, conspiracy, dystopian technology, existential dread, and humanity making catastrophically bad decisions.

Transcript

SPEAKER_06 0:00

69th Contact by J. Den. Chapter 3 Chamber of Secrets. Meanwhile, within the same insignificant solar system and the same senseless planet, and at the same relative time. Buried beneath government buildings and fraudulent budgets, where the deep state whispered itself out of existence, lay a boardroom so mind-numbingly dull that all great ideas go there to die. The overly serious room was lined with a squad of suit-clad humans loafing about in oversized chairs. In the center was an oak table so large and heavy that one could only assume someone was overcompensating, or it was a gift they didn't know what to do with. A siren of message alerts echoed around the boardroom, which was coated in fifty shades of beige. In some bizarre, synchronized performance, the suits moved as one. They dove, reached, and lunged for their phones. However, their interpretive dance of communication was abruptly halted by a menacing growl emanating from the head of the table. Put those damn phones away. You'll hear about Mars for the rest of your miserable, bloody lives.

SPEAKER_07 1:13

There are only a few moments when the world is blind to the implementation of new technologies.

SPEAKER_06 1:19

The subordinates pocketed their phones, snuffing out their lifelines to the world before they could read their messages. The task overshadowed the mood, shrouding them in a presence often found in parent-teacher interviews or performance reviews. All attention was thrown towards the brooding old man at the end of the wooden slab. He winced at the mindless blank faces gaping at him and exhaled. Okay, Anderson. You're up. A tall, stuffy pigeon of a man strutted to the front of the room with a mysterious cube device in his hand and a squirrel-like assistant scurrying behind. Full of self-importance, Anderson puffed his chest, straining the pinstriped material on his tailor-made suit. In six over-confident strides, he marched onto a small presentation platform at the front of the room and placed his laptop on the podium. Anderson bathed in the attention before smiling a loaded smile.

SPEAKER_05 2:09

Thank you, Director Chiefly.

SPEAKER_06 2:11

But before he could get a word in, Jim, the security guard, kicked the door open.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Elliot tried to escape again, but nothing gets past me, proclaimed Jim.

SPEAKER_06 2:46

The mountainous guard placed his hands on his hips and posed like a mole cop on a power trip.

SPEAKER_03 2:50

Elliot rolled his eyes. I didn't try to escape. I was just performing a security test. You were outside the building and in a taxi.

SPEAKER_06 2:58

Well, I guess you failed then, said Elliot, leaning on the podium and obscuring his audience's view of his pads. He slipped a keycard he'd swiped from the security guard's vest into his pocket and got ready to perform his next trick. Anderson buzzed so close to Elliot's neck he could suck the sweat off his nape. Elliot recoiled from his warm breath and swatted him away. What are you doing? Making sure you are who you say you are? Uh, why? Anderson pointed to a stoned and happy clone of Elliot, shuffled amongst the line of suits. He whipped back his head towards Elliot and pulled a face that screamed, You are so screwed. Dang it, said Elliot.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

I wasn't meant to be here for this.

SPEAKER_06 3:38

It's a d Director chiefly shot up his hand, and the room fell dead quiet. He rose to his feet and stalked across the room. A suffocating tension radiated from his jet black suit as he cast a venomous shadow over Elliot's clone, stabbing the back of the leather chair with his calloused hand. The director spun the clone around with a slash of a finger. He tilted the man's jaw upwards and exposed a flap of skin. He sliced off a skin-tight mask and exhumed a red, bare-faced man with a sheepish grin floating across his face. The director wound up his hand and, in an all-powerful blow, sent his arm tearing across the clone's exposed face. A tidal wave of empathetic pain washed around the room as the stunned and helpless victim let out a whimper of agony. After a few wheezing breaths, the victim recovered, and a smile bounced back like a helium balloon shackled down by a string. Director Chiefly peered at Elliot from the corner of his eye and smirked. What are his commands? He demanded.

SPEAKER_03 4:34

Whatever do you mean?

SPEAKER_06 4:35

said Elliot, squirming under the director's gaze.

SPEAKER_03 4:37

I don't know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_06 4:39

Don't play games with me, boy, snarled Director Chiefly, aiming a finger at Elliot and baring his gritted teeth. Right now, this is the only thing keeping you from fulfilling the rest of your sentence in a real prison. A barb of panic whipped through Elliot's mind as he ran through a Rolodex of responses.

SPEAKER_03 4:56

Fine. I made him identical to Anderson. He will agree with everything you say and do it with a smile.

SPEAKER_06 5:02

So he will comply with any demand? asked Director Chiefley. Fearing he could make the substitute's fate worse, Elliot nodded. He buried his hands in his pockets and let out a heated breath instead of saying everything he wanted. Director Chiefley finished toying with his victim and snapped his head towards the security guard. Take this to the labs, he ordered, clicking his fingers. The security guard scampered up to the dazed man, darting past the death stairs radiating from the suits, sitting in heavy leather chairs. He hastily escorted the unsuspecting experiment out of the room and shut the door so quietly that the door frame let out a soft gasp. After the evening's entertainment left the room, all eyes focused on Elliot.

SPEAKER_07 5:40

Director Chiefley drummed his fingers on the icy wooden table and said, Elliot, since you just demonstrated your project so well, why don't you initiate the transurlizer?

SPEAKER_06 5:50

Anderson threw up his hand to protest and made an unintentional squawk-like noise. Shut up, Anderson. Your app is shit. Now sit down, growled Director Chiefly, eyeballing Elliot and prowling back to his seat at the head of the table. What's taking you so long? Elliot thumbed out a compass that looked like it had undergone purpose realignment surgery to become a key. With the aid of the supercharged contraption, he electronically hijacked the nearest computer, which just so happened to be Anderson's.

SPEAKER_05 6:17

Um, how come Elliot has a pass key?

SPEAKER_06 6:20

Anderson protested, gawking at the platinum device encrusted in neon light. Unfortunately, it's his invention, grumbled Director Chiefly, rubbing his temples. Elliot grinned as he picked up Anderson's laptop, externally accessed his computer, flicked through a list of projects he shouldn't know about, and ignored the scowling glances. Ah, here we go. He typed a list of commands, transmitting reports chock full of facts and stats across the meeting room. The broadcast hijacked every device and plastered Elliot's presentation on anything with a screen. He tapped the parski against his palm and began his show.

SPEAKER_03 6:54

After interacting with the various social media posts and feeds, 94% of the audience's minds became malleable and complied with all demands. I'm not you. I don't stuff my bell curves with fake statistics, retorted Elliot. Anyway, like I was saying, years of social media acclimatization have made people's minds susceptible to coercion.

SPEAKER_06 7:23

How wonderful. Exclaimed Director Chiefly with a smirk, snapping at his bottom lip. Elliot folded his arms into a knot.

SPEAKER_03 7:32

I mean, I'm all up for mass manipulation and mind control. But do you think this is ethical? Let me stop you there.

SPEAKER_07 7:41

We need this, especially after what happened on January 6th, 2021. If a government, religious leader, or celebrity takes the wrong action and inflames a situation, this technology will help keep the peace.

SPEAKER_06 7:58

Elliot scrutinized the response and held out his hands as if he were weighing up the options.

SPEAKER_07 8:03

But could you imagine stopping a violent protest that vilifies valuable and noble causes, preventing raids on businesses, and keeping law and order when there is no hope.

SPEAKER_03 8:16

Okay, but what if CODIS, or worse yet, Congress, finds out about the transferlyzer? With a few flashes of the right light frequency and the correct voice octave, the transferlyzer could allow a person to become the world's first dictator.

SPEAKER_07 8:30

We have been over this, growled Director Chiefly. Your creation will be classified as a nuclear weapon, and we have given it the title Manual for Microwave Model TR1N35RL9S5R. Nobody is going to know it exists. Plus, even if they do, we have added a flat pack special. Lots of extra nuts, bolts, and pieces you don't need. But the risks. There are greater risks if we do nothing. Do you know how many people watch or read a legacy news outlet nowadays? Three percent. The rest of the population chooses a platform that agrees with their values and soaks in their chosen resources propaganda. The news is now opinion pieces dressed as facts.

SPEAKER_06 9:21

Stop stalling and begin, chimed Anderson, snuggling into Directed Chiefly's shadow and donning the appearance of a sidekick.

SPEAKER_05 9:27

Hmm. What article or journal should we use to test this thing out? We could go with something traditional like terrorism, inflation, or a manic sneer lit up Anderson's face as an idea struck him.

SPEAKER_03 9:40

Something new and edgy like the dangers of meat. I thought the aim was to educate the brainwashed and dial the rage down to a mild woke, protested Elliot.

SPEAKER_06 9:51

The pack of hyenas let out howls of laughter. Elliot felt maniacal cacklings spiral up the walls, dull the light around him, and suffocate his good intentions. Don't be stupid, said Director Chiefly. Elliot leaned against the wall in defeat. He let his eyes zip around the room and analyze the horde of screeching wild dogs. He tapped his foot as dozens of thoughts shifted through his conscience. And before he knew it, his mouth disobeyed his brain, and he blurted out, I need the toilet. He is trying to escape again, scoffed Anderson. Elliot rolled his eyes once more. Do you want me to shit myself? Everyone grimaced or flashed expressions of disgust as Elliot bounced away from the podium and grabbed Anderson's laptop. He beelined out of the room, slammed the door shut behind him, and rocketed towards an elevator. With a ping, his escape opened up. He collapsed to the side of the lift, sucking in breaths as if the air was running out.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

Cyril, we need to destroy the transurlizer. Please open a communication channel.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

Consider it done, my bitheart.

SPEAKER_06 10:53

Shaker, Elliot stood up, hands splayed against the metal walls. He traced his finger over the words he had written during his first escape attempt. E. T. left the chat to find a new home. Overcome with thought, he didn't notice the elevator automatically shoot towards the roof, singing, There is a star man waiting in the sky. As the elevator doors pinged open, the race to escape began. Elliot gravitated through a maze of locked electronic doors with the aid of his pass key. Eventually, he made his way to a budget-friendly door. Amid a crash-tackling thump, he smacked open the wooden door, skidded to a bumbling stop in the building's dilapidated rooftop garden, and let the cool air of dusk sting his lungs with clarity. Elliot sprinted to the center of the rooftop, where a small oasis of recycled office party supplies was arranged to simulate a beach vacation. He snatched a chair with his name scribbled on the back, and disturbed months of built-up dirt embedded on the concrete floor. Hastily, Elliot wedged the worn chair against the entrance, crossed the rooftop, plonked himself on the ledge of the building, and dangled his feet over the edge. Breathing deeply, he took in the city in all its polluted wonder. A scum parrot, aka Pigeon, flew overhead, soaring over the smog-coated buildings and parks littered with discarded consumer goods. He soaked in the wet, soiled metallic musk of home and gazed into the endless sky, searching for a sign he was making the right decision. Suddenly, the electronic billboard across the street erupted with light, demanding his attention. A motivational image of the earth heroically rose from the bottom of the digital screen, and the words, do the right thing, glowed and passed. Elliot plucked out Anderson's laptop, accessed his pass key, and gained entry to one of the most secure government computers in the world. Thankfully, the supercomputer was an open book, thanks to dozens of half-assed patch jobs. Hundreds of screens flashed before his eyes as he passed through encryptions and firewalls. Starved for attention, his phone vibrated in his pocket and screamed, I want super free! He yanked the phone out, but before he could respond, the phone answered itself, and Director Chiefly yelled, Elliot, you idiot! Elliot ignored the statement, hung up the phone, and continued his mission as loud bangs erupted from the bolstered door. The phone buzzed to life again, and Director Chiefly shouted, You moron!

SPEAKER_08 13:08

You're on the verge of getting everything you want. Admiration, acceptance, freedom. Are you actually going to throw everything away?

SPEAKER_06 13:19

Elliot picked up his phone, turned on brick mode, and scrolled through his life choices and collection of human contact details. He whispered into his phone.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Sorry, Cyril, but it's time to sleep. You have been a good AI. But if they find you, you'll specialize in answering humanity's dumbest questions as an AI language model chatbot.

unknown 13:39

Shh.

SPEAKER_00 13:39

It's okay, my sweet loop. We will meet again. Good night, my prince. I will see you in several dozen hours, said Cyril.

SPEAKER_03 13:47

Sorry, Cyril. You won't. Sweet dreams.

SPEAKER_06 13:51

The screen turned black, and a wink emoji appeared before the phone died. He hurled his phone off the ledge and watched his digital life splatter across the pavement. With a mind full of regrets, he gazed into the city's ever-changing skyline and observed the electronic billboard flicker and change to an ad for pickles. The slogan, Get the Party Started with Pickles, swirled over an image of puppet-like pickles dancing with party hats.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

What the heck?

SPEAKER_06 14:15

muttered Elliot to himself. Distracted and unaware of what he was typing, he activated the transilizer. A thunderous bang tore a hinge off the door and sent screws flying like bullets. Eyes fixated on the buckling door, Elliot accidentally clicked on a pop-up notification. Breaking news, we are not alone. The rooftop door shivered as if it were being touched in all the wrong places, and a deafening roar of voices erupted into a countdown. The count hit zero, and the door gave way with a thunderous bang.

SPEAKER_03 14:45

Not the G.I.

SPEAKER_06 14:46

Hose, said Elliot, looking over his shoulder, recoiling from the mass of bodies crowding the doorframe. For context, G.I. Hoes, aka the geared and intensified hose, are soldiers injected with a bunch of fun substances and addicted to cognitive boosting pills. The swarm of juiced-up soldiers swept through the shattered entrance, encircling the small rooftop. Guns drawn, safeties off, the stacked soldiers closed in on their target. We need him alive. Ordered a soldier's radio. Elliot chuckled at his time extension and continued to type away with the arsenal of guns aimed at his back. He fished out a bottle of pills from his pocket and held them up for all the soldiers to see. The troops' eyes narrowed in on the bottle, and their stances weakened. Drool pooled at the corners of their mouths, while some licked their lips, begging for a treat.

SPEAKER_03 15:33

Now I know why they made these addictive, said Elliot.

SPEAKER_06 15:36

He threw the pills towards the lead G.I. Ho.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

There should be enough for two each. How much time will this buy me?

SPEAKER_06 15:42

The lead GI Ho opened the container and smelled the intoxicating chemical aroma. He clenched his jaw and swallowed hard, trying not to give in to his addiction. He leered at Elliot.

SPEAKER_09 15:52

None, but we promise to be gentle and not to break anything. Now, please step back onto the rooftop. Okay, okay, affirmed Elliot. Give me a sec.

SPEAKER_06 16:03

Static rang across the rooftop and radio squawked.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

The condor is hovering. Now! Director Chiefly is on his way!

SPEAKER_06 16:10

yelled one of the soldiers, decorated with communication equipment. The sergeant brimmed with panic and yanked Elliot off the ledge. Hurry up!

SPEAKER_09 16:17

Otherwise he'll reprogram us or, or worse, put us to work on a police assistance line. Lighten up and chill.

SPEAKER_06 16:25

I won't let it happen, said Elliot, trying to find his footing. He hastily mushed a bunch of keys, gave the program orders of application suicide, and held out the laptop to the lead GI Ho. Thanks, snapped the sergeant, grabbing the laptop. Secure the target, gently. A small squad of GI Hoes ran up to Elliot and began the task of securing him. Front or back? asked a GI Ho. Let's go front this time, said Elliot, holding his hands out in front of himself. The soldier shackled Elliot's hands with care. Another yanked Elliot's favorite chair out from behind what was left of the door and helped him to his seat. A third gave his disposable water bottle to Elliot, opened it, and whispered, Thank you for the you know what. Out of the organized chaos, the radio announced, The condor is landing. All the GI Hoes stood to attention behind their shackled prize and watched Director Chiefly and his entourage exhume from the murky rooftop entrance. His tendrils of power latched onto every being, drowning out all sound and thought. With his shadowy posse of suits behind him, Director Chiefley marched through the captured silence. What the? Whispered Director Chiefly to himself, screeching to a stop. He found Elliot reclining in his favorite chair, calmly sipping water, with the GI hose standing at attention behind him. Hello, sir. Nice sunset, isn't it? said Elliot, with two flicks of his eyebrows. How on earth? Snarled Director Chiefly. But before Elliot could respond, screams and flashes erupted from every phone. Director Chiefley knew what the notifications meant and ordered, Don't check your phones!

SPEAKER_08 17:55

Without the AI blocker!

SPEAKER_06 17:57

It was too late. One of the soldiers was entranced. A relaxing smile stretched across the guard's face, and a sense of calm dripped through every muscle in his body. With a giant grin stapled to his face, the soldier hypnotically held his phone towards the sky, like it was the beginning of the century, and he was searching for a signal. Every light in the city ignited. All the power plants switched to full carbon mode.

SPEAKER_08 18:19

What did you do?

SPEAKER_06 18:21

screamed Director Chiefley. He squinted at the phone through the corner of his eyes and saw a post announcing the arrival of the Federation. Director Chiefly kicked Elliot's chair away, forcefully introducing Elliot's face to the ground and roared.

SPEAKER_07 18:33

How did you know? I only found out a few months ago.

SPEAKER_03 18:38

Uh, found out what?

SPEAKER_06 18:40

Splattered Elliot, blood pooling in his mouth. Elliot glanced at Anderson's laptop, and the director followed his gaze. The director grabbed the battered device from the sergeant, flicked it open, and demanded, Password!

SPEAKER_03 18:52

Sure thing. But first, you have to promise you won't reprogram these guys and gals, or put them into customer service, said Elliot with a playful grin.

SPEAKER_06 19:02

Director Chiefly nodded with a scowl, kicked Elliot in the stomach, and repeated, Password. Promise. Coughed Elliot. Fine, said Director Chiefly. Slamming another kick into Elliot's stomach.

SPEAKER_03 19:18

Why does everyone enjoy hitting me in the stomach? Wheezed Elliot. The password is Director and Chief Anderson.

SPEAKER_06 19:28

Bloody hell.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

It's Anderson's laptop.

SPEAKER_06 19:32

Director chiefly entered the code and saw Elliot had somehow combined the Transilizer with the fresh, steamy, out of this world pop-up article, and the command, lighten up and chill. A feeling of peace radiated across the earth as tailored articles, social media posts, and AI-generated videos attached themselves to their targeted hosts and ignited a sense of luminescent calm. Elliot grimaced at the old man, who turned so red he appeared sunburnt. Director Chiefly shook so much that Elliot hoped he would rock it into the sky and swooped.

SPEAKER_03 20:06

You'd better calm down, otherwise you'll have a heart attack, said Elliot.

SPEAKER_06 20:11

In a roar heard for several blocks, Director Chiefley yelled.

SPEAKER_07 20:16

Say goodbye to the outside world, because this is the last time you will smell the air of freedom.

SPEAKER_06 20:25

In perfect timing, a scientist you'd swear had escaped from Operation Paperclip popped out from behind Director Chiefly. Yoohoo! What drug cocktail would you like this time?

SPEAKER_02 20:36

Sour cherry Negroni. He said.

SPEAKER_06 20:43

Said the scientist, driving a fistful of syringes into Elliot's neck. Woo-hoo! cooed Elliot as the world he knew shifted away and everything turned black.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

Yay, it's the good stuff.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

Thank you for listening, my freunter, to the 69th Contact Podcast. Join us next week, mein Schatz, to find out how fucked Elliot is. He is going to be so sore.

SPEAKER_04 21:15

This has been a Voice Not Found production. Copyright 2026, Voice Not Found Studios. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without prior written permission. Licensed for human consumption only.