Circling Back

The people in your life have more influence than you may realize. In this episode, I explore the circles we build around ourselves, the people who push us forward, the ones who quietly hold us back, and the rare few who genuinely want to see us succeed.

We’ll talk about protecting your energy, recognizing who belongs in your corner, understanding that not every relationship is meant to last forever, and asking an important question we often overlook:

How do people feel after spending time with you?

Because your circle shapes your future, and the impact you have on others is part of the legacy you leave every day.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey guys, in today's episode, I want to talk about circles. Not perfect circles, not the shapes, but the circles we build around ourselves throughout our lives. As I've gotten older, I've realized that one of the most important decisions we make isn't where we work, where we live, or even what we drive. It's who we allow close to us. The people around us can push us, hold us back, challenge us, support us, drain us, or inspire us. Sometimes they do all of those things at different points in our lives. And if you're trying to build something, a career, a family, a business, your health, your faith, or just a better version of yourself, the people in your circle matter. I'm Chris, and this is the seventh paradigm. We like to believe everyone around us wants the best for us. Unfortunately, that's not always true. Some people are quietly competing with you. You get a promotion and they immediately compare it to their own situation. You lose weight, and suddenly they have a reason why it doesn't matter. You start a business, write a book, launch a podcast, and they become experts on why it won't work. And they're not always bad people. Sometimes they're dealing with their own insecurities. Maybe they're stuck while you're making moves, but the result is still the same. Their energy pulls instead of pushes. Then there are the people who appear supportive. They smile, they encourage, they tell you that they're proud of you. But when you're not around, the conversation changes. I've learned that not everyone who claps is cheering for you. Some people clap because everyone else is. Pay attention to their actions, not their words. Time always reveals intentions. Always. But then there are the rare ones, the people who celebrate your victories like they were their own, the people who answer the phone, the people who tell you the truth even when it's uncomfortable. The people who check on you when they haven't heard from you. The people who remind you who you are when you've forgotten. Distance doesn't matter. Time doesn't matter. You can go months or even years without talking and pick up right where you left off. Those people are treasures. Protect those relationships. Something else I've learned is that no one person can be everything. Some people help you grow spiritually. Some people help you professionally. Some make you laugh when life gets heavy. Some challenge your thinking. Some simply sit with you when you're hurting. And that's okay. Not everyone has to fill the same role. The mistake we make is expecting one person to carry the weight of an entire village. But energy matters. This one took me a long time to understand. Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with people. Do you feel motivated, encouraged, inspired? Or do you feel exhausted, frustrated, drained? Energy is one of the most valuable things we possess. And the older I get, the more protective I become of mind. Not because I don't care about people, because I finally understand where my energy goes, my life follows. And the hardest lesson I've had to learn is that a circle isn't always permanent. Not everyone is meant to stay. Some people are there for a chapter. Some people are there for a season, some are there to teach a lesson, and some are there for the entire story. When someone leaves your circle, it doesn't always mean there was betrayal. Sometimes life simply moves people in different directions, and that's okay. Appreciate what they contributed and keep moving forward. If you're listening today, take a moment and think about your circle, who encourages you, who challenges you, who drains you, who shows up consistently, who only shows up when they need something, and who generally wants to see you succeed. Those answers tell you a lot about where you're headed. Because eventually we become like the people we spend the most time around.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

So choose carefully.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

And it's easy to evaluate everyone else who's supporting me, who's draining me, who's competing with me. But every now and then I think it's worth asking a different question. What kind of experience do people have when they leave a conversation with me? Do they leave feeling better? Do they leave feeling heard? Do they leave feeling encouraged to chase their goals? Or do they leave feeling criticized, dismissed, or exhausted? Because whether we realize it or not, we're all creating an atmosphere around us. And that atmosphere follows us into our homes, our friendships, our workplaces, and our families. And that's part of your legacy. Not the legacy you leave when you're gone, but the legacy you leave every day. How do people feel around you? The feeling people carry with them after you've left a room. That's just as important as how people make you feel. If this episode made you think about someone in your circle, maybe reach out and tell them what they mean to you. And if you're fortunate enough to have people who generally want you to win, don't take them for granted. They're rarer than you think. And as always, like, follow wherever you listen to this podcast, and follow the show on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok at the Seventh Paradigm. Thank you for spending some time with me. I hope this gets you thinking about your circle. And as always, be blessed, be safe, and go build.