What Is Actually Happening In My Head During A Reading

People always want to know what is happening on my side of the table during a reading. And nobody ever really answers it honestly.

In this episode I am taking you inside. The real version. The white doors that open every single time I close my eyes. The interview process I run with Spirit before I share a single detail with a client. The difference between filtering and translating. And what this work actually costs me when it is all over.

Because this work is extraordinary. And it is also very, very human.

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Transcript

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Welcome to Seriously Dead. I'm Jenny Shanks, a spiritual medium, and I talk to dead people for a little bit. This podcast is your beyond the grave look at what your loved ones in spirit actually want you to know. And spoiler alert, after 10 years of doing this work, here's the truth. Your spirit family wants you to know they're okay and you are too. How do I know? Because the dead are a lot of things, but one thing they're not is quiet. So get comfortable before you press play because we're getting seriously dead with your loved ones in spirit right now. People always want to know what's happening in my head during a reading, and I love this question. There's a lot of mystery around what a medium experiences. And I think that mystery does more harm than good. It makes this work feel inaccessible. And the reality is every medium experiences spirit differently. We don't all have the same process and the same experience. Like something has to happen to special people in a special way that nobody else could ever understand. So today I'm going to take you inside. Inside my head, the real version, what I see, what I hear, what I feel in my body, how I talk to spirit, and what it cost me afterwards. Because this work is extraordinary, but it's also very, very human. So when a client sits down across from me and I close my eyes to begin, something happens that I've never really found the perfect words for. Sometimes spirit shows me an image, a scene, a visual that I then have to interpret. A man in a work uniform, a kitchen that feels like the 1970s, a specific car that I somehow know belonged to that person coming through. And sometimes spirit communicates through a symbol or a feeling, something that we have developed together over the 10 years of doing this work, a shorthand that Spirit and I have built so that certain things can be communicated quickly and with care. The last part right there is really important with care. Because not everything that comes through is easy to deliver. And over the years, Spirit and I have worked out ways to communicate some of the hardest information in a way that honors both the truth and the person receiving it. For example, when I ask Spirit how they transition and they show me a rainbow, I know exactly what that means. And when I share it with the client, I do not describe what I saw in that graphic detail. Even though the rainbow came forward, and that's beautiful, me telling you that I see a rainbow in their transition is gonna mean nothing to you. Between spirit and I, a rainbow means something very specific. So when that's shown, I say something to the client like spirit's telling me they were part of their own passing. That is the language that Spirit and I have developed together. Specific enough to be honest, but gentle enough to be received. Early in my practice, I didn't always have those symbols. I was finding the language in real time, reading by reading, learning how to deliver hard information without causing more harm than healing. And that is still the work. Ten years in, and I'm always strengthening my relationship, always refining the language, always learning new ways spirit wants to communicate. It's a living relationship between the two of us. And it's a relationship that keeps growing. People always want to know if I hold things back. The honest answer is not really. Once I've established who spirit is and what spirit wants to share, I let the conversation flow. I don't filter, I don't edit, I trust what comes through and I deliver it as clearly and faithfully as I can. What I do though is translate. There's a difference between filtering and translating. Filtering means deciding what the client's allowed to hear. Translating means finding the most accurate and caring way to deliver what spirit's actually saying. When something difficult comes through, I do not decide for the client that they can or cannot handle it. I find the language that lets them receive it. Because spirit came through with that information for a reason, and it's not my place to decide that reason is good enough. What I have learned over 10 years is that spirit is incredibly intentional about what comes through. Spirit does not share things to shock or to harm you. Spirit shares things because those things matter. Because the person sitting across from me needs to hear them. Because something in that information is going to move that person's life forward in a way that nothing else could. So I trust too and I deliver. And I let the client do what they need to do with it. That's the job. Not to protect people from spirit, but to create a safe enough space that spirit can speak and the client can actually hear. Now I want to talk about something that rarely anybody ever asks about or talks about as a medium. And that's what this work cost me. Most of the time after a session, I feel something that I can only describe as tired but energized. Like I've done something real and meaningful, and the effort of it is present in my body, but so is the aliveness of it. It's a good feeling and a full feeling. And sometimes I describe it as though I've ran a mini marathon, but all in my mind. However, sometimes I finish a session and I am exhausted. And I want to be honest about what causes that exhaustion. It's almost never spirit. Spirit is easy to be with. Spirit is clear and intentional, and the connection when it flows feels effortless in a way. Spirit is easy to be with. Spirit is clear and intentional, and the connection when it flows feels effortless in the way that anything feels effortless when it is working exactly as it's supposed to. What exhausts me though is the human side. The client who's trying to control the outcome, the client who is so fixed on hearing one specific thing that every message spirit delivers gets filtered through that need before it can actually land. The session where the energy in the room is so closed and quite honestly skeptical that spirit and I are both working twice as hard to get anything through. That's what drains me. Not the dimension, but the resistance. And that is why I talk so much about showing up to a reading open and grounded and ready to receive whatever comes through. Not just because it makes for a better reading for the client, but because it makes the work sustainable for me. I've been doing this work for over 10 years now, and I'm always learning how to care for my body and my energy around this work. What I need before a session to be fully present, what I need after a session to come back to myself, how to recognize when a day has been heavy and what to do about it. That care is not separate from the work. It's part of it, and it is something I take very seriously in all of my reading. If you walk away with one thing from this episode, let it be this. This work is not magic in the way that people think of magic. It's not effortless, it's not mysterious for the sake of being a mystery. It's a relationship, a living, growing, constant, evolving relationship between me, spirit, and the people who set across for me. And like every relationship, it requires showing up, doing the work, building the language, caring for what makes this connection possible. The white doors open every single time. Spirit comes through every single time. And every single time it takes my breath away a little bit more. That is the gift of this work, and I am so grateful I get to do it. If this episode gave you a glimpse into something that you've always been curious about, don't keep it in the spirit bowl. Share it with someone who's wondered the same. And if you feel called to, leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. And as always, if you're ready to start building your own connection with spirit, grab my free guide of meditation to help you understand the difference between your ego and your intuition. Because your intuition, because your intuition is the portal spirit uses to communicate. You can find that in the show notes below. I'll be back next week with another episode of Seriously Dead. And until then, stay open, stay curious, and remember, the dead are not quiet. You just have to learn to listen.