Tim Shady Is In The House

Two trailer park dudes from the outside, from the outside

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

We got Tim Shady Pull up, take a seat. Got a story for the leaf. Smooth talk. Sharp grin. Tim Shady in the room. Tim Shady. Tim Shady. Come on in, baby. Tim Shady. Tim Shady.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

Grateful to be joined by a man of the people today. Someone that understands what the everyday person is going through. Hailing all the way from Aspen, Colorado. Please welcome Tim Shady, everyone.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Thank you. Thank you for the intro. Hey, I just want to start this off with an apology. Sorry, I I took a massive shit in your bathroom just now.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

I just cleaned that.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Oh, I'm sorry, bro. I it was a long flight over here.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

Um couldn't do it on the plane?

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Yeah, I'm sorry, bro. It's just that they kept on, you know, when you fly Frontier Airlines, sometimes you can't sit down. Like, you know, just the seats are the the lavatory space is very crowded, bro. And with a big man like myself, I like like I can sit down, but I can't spread my legs.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

And so Well, I'm I'm with you there on the uh the airport bathrooms I've always or the lavatories as they're called. I don't know why they're given a special fucking name just because it's on an airplane. But anyways, but you know how like when you flush and it makes like that massive like vacuum like whoosh sound like I'm like I'd honestly be scared to like sit on it and and it flush while I'm sitting on it because I feel like it'd just suck my butthole out of straight out of the airplane. You know?

SPEAKER_01 1:51

That's a legitimate worry I've had.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Did you at least use like some fucking spray?

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Yeah, I put some poopery in there. Okay. I mean you supplied it, so you can have a great studio. I'm just I'm just sorry because I know you'll smell the residuals once you go back in there. Crack them beer open.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

This is getting this is getting a little heavy. Oh cheers, bud. Thanks for coming in. Uh uh, Tim Shady, everybody. Thanks for climbing in on Frontier. Yeah, yeah. Our first like uh guest that didn't um chop off a raccoon uh penis on his uh family camping trip as a child.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

What the fuck was that? Yeah, RFK on here? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

He had on had him on here before me? Well, he was dude, he he I don't know. Like I just put it out there and I didn't think I'd get any responses. Oh he was like, I don't know, I guess he thought found an interest in some of the shit I've been talking about already, because he likes really like kind of weird, quirky stuff. Uh based, you know, so I don't know. It kind of checks out. Um so I don't know. I don't know if I'm gonna have him back on because i it was kind of an awkward conversation for me. And so I don't know, we'll see.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Hey, I got I got a I got a really important question. Yeah. So imagine a cuck is in a hotel, right? Okay. He's just sitting on the corner, right?

SPEAKER_02 3:09

Like in the room? Yeah, I mean my hotel room or in his hotel room.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Just objectively a cuck. Okay. Okay. And he's sitting down and he's he's trying to jack off, but he can't uh because of the quality of the chair. So, I mean, uh the question for you. So Okay, for cucks, do we really need to have high quality chairs or is it kind of a cucky thing to let them kind of suffer in the corner?

SPEAKER_02 3:37

Well, I don't know. I mean, that's a better question for the hotel um executives because they seem to think that it's it's important to have one in the corner of every hotel room. And I mean, are there really that many cucks out there? I mean, I don't I don't even know if I know any, to be honest.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

I know I'm definitely not one. I mean, man, there's a lot of them in Aspen, bro. It's uh I mean maybe they have the best ones there, but some of the I mean the hotel here, bro, it's it's crap.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

Well, uh okay, but your question had to do with like the quality of the chair. So yeah, so what you're saying.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

So what exactly is it again about the quality part? I mean, it's like do we want them cucks to have quality chairs? Like if if it's your cuck, you want them to kind of like struggle with it.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

You don't want them to be distracted by the the bad quality of it. You want them to be like zoned in, like comfortable, right? Yeah, but you don't want them you don't want them to hurt their back while they're sitting there.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

I don't want them to slip a disc permanently become a cuck. Like I don't want to.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

Well then, yeah, then they'll never come back to the hotel. So it's honestly in the hotel's self-interest to have high quality cuck chairs. So yes, I I I I think I think we're on the same page.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

Alright, so uh here's a here's a theory that I just came up with like yesterday. Uh and just because this is something that happened to me yesterday specifically, um I noticed like I went to put on a new pair of underwear. Or not a new pair, just put on a pair of underwear from a drawer, and I noticed like a huge hole at the bottom of it. And so uh I said, Alright, well I gotta throw this pair out. It's been long enough, it it got me this far. So I went to go put on a second pair. Same fucking thing happened. That one tore actually as I put it on, like right after. So I had to throw a second pair out. And I'm not exaggerating, dude. I went and pulled out another pair and it had a hole in it. And I was like, so I haven't I can't tell you the last time that I've thrown like underwear out, but in like a span of five minutes I threw out three pairs. So what I'm I guess my what I'm saying is there might be an actual like expiration date that like Fruit of the Loom like puts on this stuff. Yeah, there's no warranty essentially.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

Yeah. They're like, okay, how many farts does it take to get to give warranty? They did some studies behind the scenes and they figured it out.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

Yeah, like like so like you know, it maybe it's 500 farts, maybe it's you know, I don't know. A couple washes here and there, yeah. God, I hope my mom doesn't listen to this. Yeah. It's okay, dude. Wait, where's this music coming from? I didn't I didn't play this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

Caleb, got something for you. You're gonna put the freestyle? Uh yeah. Uh uh. Slim Shady in the house. Sorry, Tim Shady. Uh, yeah, here we go. Uh we talkin' about Epstein, I'm not Charlie Sheen. Yo, we just chillin', we drinkin' some beer, I'm not queer. Yo, I'm just chilling with my bro, Caleb. We talkin' about politics, yo. Uh, we can't help the fight. We just talking about shit. Yeah, that's right. Uh I don't know what we talking about, but we talking about something, damn. Man, let's go. Uh, fruit of the loom, man. That shit in my pants, my underwear blue. Oh man, I'm in the trance. Uh just a bottom.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

Alright, well, you're doing you're doing okay, I guess. Uh, if you just keep going. Just don't don't worry about me. Don't worry about my don't worry about my underwear, just keep rapping. You're good.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Yo, sorry. I was too close to home. I gotta go. Yo, bro, sorry I blew up your bathroom. I mean, I'll take it out the back trash, man. I got you. Uh yeah, I gotta just tell uh Kim sorry w on the way out.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

Alright, well, uh, good job, I guess. Thanks for uh yeah. Round of applause for everybody, or for you, I guess I guess. Thanks for that every day. Thanks for coming on, uh, Tim Shady from Aspen, Colorado. Uh I know that it uh it was a great sacrifice for you to leave your um your lush um gardens and mansion on the cliffside by the ski resort uh just outside of Aspen um to come here to my humble abode. Thanks, bro. Slash studio. It's a pleasure. I feel like uh I'm gonna lose a lot of listeners after this one, but I only have like two listeners, so man, I could lose like half of my listeners if I just lose one. And you're still being the same magnitude of people, so you'll be fine. That's true. Yeah. Well, I guess I can't, you know, I'm early on. Yeah. I gotta take some risk, right? No balls, no glory, as they say.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Yeah, no balls, no glory. Um, as long as the balls are shaved. You know. Alright. Yeah. Okay. Well. Is this where we you cut me off? Yeah. Yeah. We're we're we're done here. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

Well, I mean, I you know, you were were an okay guest, if I'm being honest.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

Thanks. I appreciate that. That's better than some of the compliments I've done.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Yeah, I mean, honestly, uh, you're better than the first guest that we had. The first guest we had, first of all, I couldn't understand what the fuck he was saying about half the time. I heard you had RFK on. Yeah. Yeah, so you're talking about raccoon penises. Uh well yeah, dead raccoon penises. Well, I asked him about it, you know, and anyways.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

What the hell are y'all doing?

SPEAKER_02 9:36

What? RFK? What are you doing here?

SPEAKER_01 9:39

This is my podcast.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

This isn't your podcast. You were just a guest on my podcast.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

Alright. You know what? Get out of here. Get the fuck out of here, okay? Yeah, yeah, go get go get another raccoon penis. Yeah. Or go go go go work out with Ken Rock again, okay?

SPEAKER_00 10:05

We got Tim Shady. Pull up, take a seat. Got a story for the week. Smooth talk, sharp grin. Tim Shady in the room. Tim Shady, here we shade. Come on in, baby. Tim Shady, here we shade.