Welcome to the Good Good Table

Welcome to the Good Good Table: S1 Ep. 02 - Family Matters

• The Good Good Table • Season 1 • Episode 2

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0:00 | 1:18:01

We discover the fate of House Fidelis and a rival from Venaria's past! Then, the party takes a moment to breathe at a local tavern before finding out what their next task will be.

Look for our episodes every Wednesday!

Content Warnings:
Course Language
The Occasional Bit of Innuendo
Alcohol Consumption
Gratuitous Food Consumption
Descriptions of Sad Lore
Tall Intimidating Women
A cat in the background sometimes, just doing cat stuff

Our group uses Dungeons and Dragons 2014 edition along with some homebrew goodness to make things really fit in our storytelling. Feel free to ask us about how we do things, Alex especially loves a good lore drop!

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Music and Sound Effects licensed through Epidemic Sound

SPEAKER_08

Welcome to the Good Good Table is a podcast for grown folks with swears and violence and stuff. Content warnings can be found in the description.

SPEAKER_01

I will be your DM and your host today. With me, again, we have these wonderful people. Brandon Rose, as Venaria. We've got Courtney as Lynette. Hello, hello. Yeah. And then we've got Elizabeth as Dalos.

SPEAKER_05

Hi.

SPEAKER_01

And and we've got Jen as Jenova.

SPEAKER_05

Hello, hello.

SPEAKER_01

So last time at the Good Good Table, we had a few things happened. The party woke up to find themselves disoriented but in an otherwise comfortable room with their equipment polished and repaired in neat piles next to them. As soon as they left the comfy room, it became clear that they were in a strange mechanical place with drones zipping around and a series of prescient copy paper signs pointing them to where they need to go. After getting some help from the old guy in the office of predetermination, the party took a brief sky tour of what turned out to be the Chronosphere, a moon-sized structure floating in the void of the origin in proximity to the literal center of creation. Finally arriving at their destination of temporal interdiction, a similarly old guy dressed like an aging rocker introduced himself as Horus and informs the party that due to the time differential between their planes, the party will be arriving back to a devastated home 20 years later than expected. Also, here's some mysterious bracers that let you talk to each other, among some other unknown things. The party is then unceremoniously transported to their original destination, a hundred feet off the ground, somewhere in the foothills of Demora's Baledune Mountain. They landed safely, with the apparent help of Horus, but then encountered a fleshy monstrosity as it attacked and absorbed an innocent peaceful zombie just on the other side of the nearby rise. Our heroes engaged the hulking creature, but found that it simply rearranged its body to compensate for the damage they dealt to it. After wailing on it for a few minutes, a mysterious stranger came in and heroed all over the creature. Using his materium-imbued longsword to disrupt its healing process and finally kill the beast. The stranger introduced himself as Sir Dromash, knight errant of Fidelia, and offered to take them all back with him to his home in the nearby city of Ogun. The party agreed, quickly bonding with their new bro Dromash, as the group traveled to Ogun, destroying groups of zombies in creative ways as they went. Their new bro helped them get signed in at the gate and then brought them to see the governor, who they need a petition to allow them shelter within Ogin's walls. But who did the governor turn out to be? None other than Venaria's twin brother turned older brother, Victor Fidelis.

SPEAKER_03

And that's where we are. I'm just booking it across the room. She is like in mid-room. She's set out for big bear hug lift and everything. By the time she gets there, she almost like falls into him.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and he and he is standing up by the time she gets kind of or because he's he's behind a desk, right? This is his office.

SPEAKER_03

She was gonna totally like Tony Hawk Pro Skater over it. And it was like glump, like, but but wearing heavy armor. So by the time she gets there, it's more of like she's she realized her brain is like there's a desk, you should go around, and then that's when the feet tripping starts. And so she just kind of like slouches and just is now like weeping as she finally like lays a hand on his shoulder.

SPEAKER_01

He like I said, he he is standing and he will kind of catch her as she's falling forward and and put his arms around Venaria.

SPEAKER_03

Um this is gonna sound weird, but has he had a goddess-infused height increase in the meantime?

SPEAKER_01

He's always been a little bit bigger. He actually seems smaller than you would expect him to be. He doesn't have quite that physique that he had when he was actively like doing things.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I mean, I think they uh I got the vibe that he was always like over six foot. Um so now she's like looking him in the eye and is also trying to that is also buffering. Yeah. Um, but yeah, she she's just like grabs hold and is blubbering at this point. Like just it's all crashing in because she's been so on task. Right. Just survive, get home, and then to okay, nope, I'm gone.

SPEAKER_01

Right, yeah. So the moment there is like safety and you know a relief from that. Yeah, very, very.

SPEAKER_03

And all and I think I think also, even though it's been 20 years, I think she never f I'm not a twin, so I can't really speak, but my my in my image in this is that there's there is a a scent shared between them that hits her as she gets in close proximity and then memories, and then just on top of everything else.

SPEAKER_01

Like that he will he will catch Venaria and he's just kind of you know comforting as best that he can. He will just keep repeating, you know, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. And then he will look up over at Dromash, who you know it's it's clear he he has some kind of prior relationship with, and thank you.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you for bringing my sister and yourselves safely here. Are you okay? Are you injured? Do you have any needs? Are you hungry?

SPEAKER_06

Um, I would say that they probably uh I have no need for most of those things, but I think that a safe space to sit for a moment might be nice for them.

SPEAKER_01

When he looks at you he looks confused for a moment.

SPEAKER_03

And and he's oh yeah, see is he blindfolded or is it just blindfolded, 100%.

SPEAKER_01

And when he's looking at most people, he it he looks directly at you, you know, like he would look at you normally. With Delos, it seems to confuse him and he's not sure where to look, and he's actually looking at your chest, like where the core is.

SPEAKER_03

After uh that Venari like feels him kind of saying uh yeah, yeah, Delos uh we I've been calling him Robobro in my head. Um he's he's a clockwork, so I guess I guess your your stuff's not really gonna sh like make that easier.

SPEAKER_02

No, oh well, if you are uh a mechanical man, my friend, um I greet you like anyone else. Thank you for helping to bring my sister safely home.

SPEAKER_07

And do not worry. Um my core is me. It's perfectly fine for you to address me.

SPEAKER_02

That way it's just hard to I don't want to be rude. I want to look at you, but I don't know where you are.

SPEAKER_07

Generally, it is it is not frowned upon to look at one's core. I just keep it covered because it's vulnerable.

SPEAKER_02

Uh uh as long as I have consent. That's what we look for.

SPEAKER_08

Bro, his eyes are up there.

SPEAKER_01

It's okay, he's a bro. Uh I am familiar.

SPEAKER_02

Dromash is is quite a bro himself.

SPEAKER_07

Dromash and Delos clasp hands in the same part. The place where we we uh dented our metal preview.

SPEAKER_01

It just worn in permanently at that point.

SPEAKER_08

Lunette hooks her thumb at Delos and Dromash doing their bro thing, and she's like, I have a feeling this is gonna go on forever. I don't think this I don't think this stops.

SPEAKER_02

Oh no, he is he is very enthusiastic.

SPEAKER_00

Uh and Dromash will actually look back over and be like, I yeah, I found them just out in the middle of a field uh fighting uh Necromera. They didn't seem to know what they were doing, so I figured, you know, bring them back to Ogan. Is this your sister?

SPEAKER_01

Yes, yes, yes, Dromash. Uh as I mentioned, this is this is my sister.

SPEAKER_02

Uh formerly twin, um well, now my delightful younger sister.

SPEAKER_03

Oh god, you're old enough to be my dad. How's oh, and then she's like, shit, is dad alive?

SPEAKER_02

Uh there's some things I need to tell you about.

SPEAKER_03

And she just like plops down on the desk, like just like I was okay, and then like, oh god, more things.

SPEAKER_02

First of all, he died defending the lives of other people as they were evacuating, and I saw him fight off one of the Death Knights, and though he was defeated, our father d did not survive. I'm sorry to have to tell you this way, but it was not in vain. He stood with the lanterns, and they did their best. I was in the rear guard treating the wounded.

SPEAKER_01

That's how this happened. And he will start removing his bandages, and as he's doing that, you would recognize Saul just, you know, from magic happening. Usually there's like this little bit of cloud of energy that happens. And as he's taking off the bandages around his eyes, you see it start kind of leaking out. You are all welcome to make a history check. Except for Delos, you don't know what the fuck this is.

SPEAKER_07

I'll just touch my dice then.

SPEAKER_01

You can touch them if you want. You are more than welcome to touch your dice. So that is a 14. Hey, there you go.

SPEAKER_05

Ugh! It's two. Genova rolled an eleven.

SPEAKER_01

Venaria, you would notice this resembled something called healer's cataract. It's something that used to be pretty rare. Basically, the the idea of over-channeling. You can, you know, keep pushing your body past its limits, do more than than would normally be possible. And healers tend to get this when they're in triage situations because they're having to go over and they're going over and over again, pushing themselves to keep people alive. And and this, it's pretty far along. He doesn't look to be able to see at all. His eyes um around the irises and the pupils are completely crystallized over. And and the the sow that you're seeing leaking out is coming out of that. Just as um a reflex, um, I reach up to try to lay on hands to as if I'm trying as if I'm curing a disease to see me. No. No. Unfortunately, uh healer's cataract tends to be resistant to any kind of treatment. Because it's from healing magic. It's it yeah, it's from healing magic, and also in the the materium is is disrupting you know the magic that you're trying to use.

SPEAKER_03

We have spell slot tumors.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, essentially, yeah, this this idea, and it's actually a mechanic that I'm going to make available to you all, is you can choose to attempt to keep casting even if you don't have spell slots. You may choose to keep trying at the risk of crystallizing.

SPEAKER_08

I'm sorry, did you just introduce magic as a carcinogen?

SPEAKER_01

To the sow is known to be a mutagenic. It it is it is somewhat like radiation.

SPEAKER_08

A magic melanoma.

SPEAKER_01

Basically, when there are high concentrations of sowl in the area, it will have mutagenic effects on creatures you usually see referred to as sowl spawn, is little beasties where things have mutated. This sowl is known when it's in high concentrations in an area, usually from like big magic being cast or just nature being nature, uh, you will end up with these mutated, nasty beasties running around.

SPEAKER_03

So is this is this a healer's cataract part of that? Like, is in like is he in danger as far as I can tell?

SPEAKER_01

No, he cat healer's cataract's not fatal. It's basically just me, he can't see. But as long as you keep the eyes bandaged, you don't have that leakage.

SPEAKER_03

And just immediately sorry, like putting the bandage back on, like, I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_02

It's okay. It's okay. It is a price that I would gladly pay again if I could. Now I am simply an administrator. I was elected governor soon after that.

SPEAKER_03

Was that the last time you touched your magic?

SPEAKER_02

Yes. I crossed the line to save lives, and I will not go back.

SPEAKER_01

It's been five, six years at this point. It's okay. This is who I am now. I have a community to take care of.

SPEAKER_03

Sorry, I I've had I've had some experiences recently that had me cut off from my magic, and I I was afraid for so long.

SPEAKER_02

I I can I can understand. Where have you been? What happened to you?

SPEAKER_01

For us, you you disappeared.

SPEAKER_03

Originally we're we're just trying to be safe in the face of what looked like the Revenant Army. And uh through a series of accidents, a plane hopped. We we stumbled through a portal, which immediately closed behind us, and had to take steps to to get back, but we were told that that realm was is so far removed from Demora that it caused this time shift. For us, we've only been gone for maybe three weeks. Three weeks.

SPEAKER_08

Three really, really fucked up weeks.

SPEAKER_02

That sounds sounds like a a harrowing adventure.

SPEAKER_08

Brother. Lynette holds up her arm. You have no idea.

SPEAKER_01

He's he is fascinated by your arm, by the way.

SPEAKER_08

She's just she like because it's metal now, right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's that black kind of matte gunmetal. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

She's gonna hold her arm out just like you want to touch it?

SPEAKER_01

I yes. And he reaches out with both hands when you can't see, you have to kind of compensate, so he's he's reaching out with his hands and feeling around on the arm.

SPEAKER_03

Venaria also at this point, like tosses her hair and is like, I've I've also had some changes.

SPEAKER_02

I can see that.

SPEAKER_01

When did you grow so tall? I thought you were done growing.

SPEAKER_08

Yesterday.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, it it I I was cut off from from stage while we were there, and she was apparently reaching out to me, and so as soon as the door opened, power came flooding in, and I I'm taller now. This I'm I'm also weirded out by this. But uh my hair's white now. Apparently I'm I've I'm a I'm a channel for the huntress now, like more so than I was.

SPEAKER_02

He looks you up and down. Well, you do seem to have something of the divine about you. There's no doubt about that. I have I myself have not heard from Steja in quite some time, not since the fall. What fall of everything. More good news, I suppose. Uh joy. Not long after you left was the beginning of what we call now the fall. Undead started pouring out everywhere. With the revenants, normally you have a revenant war. They show up with death knights and have a directed campaign, and you defeat them, and then you're done. That's what we had always seen, but this time they came from everywhere. All over the world, all at once. Hordes everywhere. And we fought them off, and we thought we had won, and then the death knights came, and they became organized. When we thought we had a horde contained, they would pivot, retreat, perform pincer maneuvers, they they they had real strategy. And then Oraz, a lord, came and it got worse again, and we went back and forth for seven years.

SPEAKER_01

Until the lanterns came. When every country everywhere fell apart, and there was no authority left, and cities became isolated, the lanterns came and reconnected the world.

SPEAKER_02

Well, parts of it, at least what we know, down here. We're part of Fidelia.

SPEAKER_01

It's kind of a association of city-states. The lanterns connect us, and we agree to the lantern charter. They fill the role of what the Adventurers Guild once was. The Adventurers Guild crumbled quickly. They depended too much on the Empire to function, and and and once Thhaxia fell apart, there was there was no holding the Adventurers Guild together. But the lanterns govern themselves. And as long as we agree to their terms, they agree to help connect and defend the living against the undead, the forces of Ezekron.

SPEAKER_06

And this is a completely mutual ally, like alliance, it's not. They are Are they forcing you into this?

SPEAKER_02

No.

SPEAKER_06

I've never heard of something strange.

SPEAKER_01

We would not survive without the lanterns. They organize defense, they help rally against revenant incursions, they assist with what they call ash law, where we ensure that corpses are disposed of properly. They are given leave to assert their authority when it is clear that there is an incursion from the revenants or some major threat. Like the Adventurers Guild, they issue warrants of various ranks, and the lanterns who swear an oath to the charter take care of those warrants. You know, that's like like the job boards you you pointed, the the rest of you, not Dalos, you know, the job boards you used to use. They helped tie the world world back together when it was on the brink of falling apart.

SPEAKER_03

So I I guess is progress being made with the lanterns, or is just holding on to what you can?

SPEAKER_02

These days the hordes have become less organized.

SPEAKER_01

Oraz was eventually defeated, and his death knights fell to roving bands like warlords. They they they are here and there, but they are much less of a threat when they don't have the uniting force of their lord behind them. Ravis still exists across the ocean. He's so entrenched I don't know anyone could ever fully deal with him. But now we are in a relatively peaceful time, and anyone's welcome to make a perception check.

SPEAKER_08

What do you perceive, Dalos? What do you perceive with your special? Non-national twenty. A dirty twenty.

SPEAKER_01

Dirty twenty's good. Four.

SPEAKER_07

Plus perception.

SPEAKER_01

Fifteen. Fifteen.

SPEAKER_07

You're an expert in perception, so that's a twelve. Aha. I perceive a little bit more. I think I'm just it's not just a twelve, it's a thirteen.

SPEAKER_01

No, Jenova is away. She rolled a fourteen.

SPEAKER_07

A work.

SPEAKER_01

Jenova Venaria, you notice that when when he says that things they don't really have to worry about a whole lot, the elf in the room, she kind of shifts. She looks maybe well, she maybe not quite agree with that particular sentiment. But she doesn't say anything.

SPEAKER_03

As soon as he mentions, like he says, like, we're part of Fidelia, Vidar is like, oh shit, we are country now.

SPEAKER_02

Well, our father had a a great hand in the forming of Fidelia.

SPEAKER_01

While the lanterns are very good at studying, finding the root of a cause and taking care of it. Fidelia is there for the people of the cities around here. It was named Fidelia in honor of that effort.

SPEAKER_03

You see her eyes kind of downcast, it's just like kind of that that that torn thing of like he went out like he would have wanted to, and he left something that's gonna outlast him, but then also he's not here.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And he will take some time and kind of go over what has happened to your family. Here is a lineage chart with that's gonna be a very next question. Like, okay, you're here, I'm here, who else is here? Yes, to give kind of a short accounting. Your grandfather and your grandmother passed away. Your father has passed away, you mother is alive. She's not here, but she's babies. Victor had babies with somebody who walks in the room. Oh and I need everybody who is part of the Black River Guild to roll history.

SPEAKER_08

Not daylist. Is everyone a part of this? You see how it feels like.

SPEAKER_01

The Black River Guild is the adventurers' guild that they were a part of before they left. What are they rolling more apart? They are, as this person walks in the room. Oh, you said history? History? I guess, yeah, recognizing a person you may have seen before. That's number one.

SPEAKER_05

Chernova is on it. I rolled a um a 20. Like a nat 20?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, damn. Okay.

SPEAKER_08

Can you recognize far enough for the rest of us?

SPEAKER_01

Um I rolled an 18, which is like with my headband and shit, I think it's 26. So the two of you recognize this person. Venaria, it's more of a professional, like, oh, I know who that is. Oh shit. Was it that bitch that I like in front of me and it's like, God damn it. Was it that bitch? Leopard Porsky. Venaria's like rival kind of like I I okay. Sort of pseudo-enemy.

SPEAKER_03

The lady who pissed me off so much that I used a divine smite on a training dummy.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. She walks in and she's actually got a little boy, and she will walk up to Victor and reach over and straighten the the wraps around his bandages because he hadn't he hadn't quite wrapped it properly, and she'll give him a kiss on the cheek. This is Lepidus. She looks, of course, 20 years older. Uh she's still a tall blonde bombshell.

SPEAKER_03

Am I as tall as her now? Because that would be hilarious.

SPEAKER_01

You are now. You are yes, you are actually now as tall as Lepidus and and you look young. She has a moment where she she she kind of looks at the three of you and then a little bit at Daylos, because this is a mechanical person, that's weird. Cool. But settles back on Venaria and goes, Venaria.

SPEAKER_08

And that's when Lynette says oh shit.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my goodness. It's so good to see all of you. It's been so long. Can I make an insight check?

SPEAKER_03

Because I'm not the I'm the This was less than a month ago that like like mega bitch over here. No, you absolutely can. Yeah, you you can.

SPEAKER_08

Oh for fakeness?

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Um that's a 21. This is absolutely sincere about this. I sit the fuck back down. Seems like a different person.

SPEAKER_03

There's a my I was like mid-square up, and I get that. And I just sit the fuck back down.

SPEAKER_01

If you took Lepidus from back when you originally knew her versus now, she she seems to be kind of like a homemaker. Your hand is raised.

SPEAKER_08

Very important question.

SPEAKER_01

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_08

Uh you mentioned that when we met her first, she was a blonde bombshell. Are you saying now that she has entered her MILF era?

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah. I didn't want to objectify her, but.

SPEAKER_08

Oh yeah. Me, a woman asking, is she a MILF? Yes.

SPEAKER_01

This is a MILF who who is dressed in conservative but hard to hide them curves kind of clothing.

SPEAKER_08

Victor is a lucky man.

SPEAKER_01

Victor is happy. She kind of like does does like the doting wife thing. She like stands behind Victor, puts her hands on his shoulders.

SPEAKER_03

I totally imagine her like she get when she gives him a kiss and like she does the heel pop a little bit. Yeah. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

So, yes, the the kid that followed her in is this little little 12-year-old boy who is running around the room unhinged. Uh actually, Dalos, he wraps around your leg. Oh god. Trying to wrestle you.

SPEAKER_08

Uh can Lunette lean down and uh just kind of like, not aggressively, but just kind of like pick him up under his arms. Lunette just kind of like gently prize this kid off of Dalos.

SPEAKER_07

Delos is just kind of looking at him like, wow, this is real big.

SPEAKER_08

Wow.

SPEAKER_07

You're really small.

SPEAKER_01

You're made of metal.

SPEAKER_07

You got any flesh under there? No. No. Whoa. Do you want to look closer? And Dalos will like put his arm down.

SPEAKER_01

Does he like grab he like kind of grabs under your arm and is like looking at it and going, wow, that's neat.

SPEAKER_07

And Delos will pick him up.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, he he he does like the little kid like hanging on your arm swinging, like, yeah.

SPEAKER_08

What's your name? Uncle Jungle Jim. Well, my name is Dalos. What's your name? My name's Pater.

unknown

Peter.

SPEAKER_08

Oh Peter, it's nice to meet you.

SPEAKER_01

Peter will look around and ask everybody their names. Uh then he gets to Venaria. That that's my sister's name. You know my sister?

SPEAKER_03

And then Venara just like sits back down like, I'd like to.

SPEAKER_01

Victor was like, I was going to get to that.

SPEAKER_02

Uh I named my daughter after you. I hope that's okay.

SPEAKER_04

Feelings.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so having had this little bit of time to process, like, Venara is basically back to functional. Not no more. Just blubbering. That's beautiful. Thank you. Like even like reaching out to Lebanon and say, I'm sorry I called you a bitch.

SPEAKER_08

It's like, I'm sorry I called you a bitch. And Lotus is like, you called me a bitch, and Lunette in the background, she did. Like a bunch of times.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I'm already apologizing. We don't need a witness testimony.

SPEAKER_01

She nods. She's like, I kind of was.

SPEAKER_04

No, you know, where it's okay.

SPEAKER_01

No, I'm so I'm I'm sorry about how things were between us. When you all disappeared, we all thought you had fallen in the attack. It's good to see you alive and well.

SPEAKER_08

Just rem- I'm just imagining young Jolly Parton.

SPEAKER_01

Just won just running around. I can't see my feet, but I'm having a great time.

SPEAKER_07

Big hair and everything.

SPEAKER_01

Yep. She she essentially danced and played a fiddle. Like look- who's that? That that star that was her thing.

SPEAKER_07

Lindsay Sterling.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, she's essentially Lindsey Sterling. We love. Yeah. We love. Um, but now she's milked out, so have fun with that image. Work. Yes.

SPEAKER_08

Uh uh, Lynette is still kind of like helping juggle the child.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah, he's he is wrestling anything and everything that he handled.

SPEAKER_03

I actually like just kind of I realized that and I'm like, Auntie gotta get in there. Okay. So she kind of just wipes her eyes and just like, hey Peter, fuck. Let's go. You wanna wrestle? She like drops into that goalie stance from from Mage Walk.

SPEAKER_01

Charge your ass.

SPEAKER_03

Make a dexterity save.

SPEAKER_07

Make it dexterity. The DC's fine. I was gonna say Oh god, okay.

SPEAKER_03

Good thing for my aura.

SPEAKER_08

You're gonna get your ass ripped by a 12-year-old.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, 14. So yeah, he he tackles you and your back foot moves. Catch yourself because he hits you hard.

SPEAKER_03

So I feel like I would since I I'm I'd already planned, like I get to put him on his ass. I like catch a leg. I give basically give him like a counter double leg and then plant him on the ground very slowly.

SPEAKER_08

Gently Yeah. Lynette's gonna look over at his parents and be like, what are you feeding him?

SPEAKER_02

He's I have no idea. Just like that. It's okay.

SPEAKER_06

He's around Droma.

SPEAKER_00

I have nothing to do with that, no.

SPEAKER_03

By this point, Venari has him back up, like picked him up, and she's now like bench pressing him.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, he's loving it. Yeah, just any amount of rough housing he can get.

SPEAKER_08

He's like, yeah!

SPEAKER_01

Pater's having a great time.

SPEAKER_08

Is his sister like this?

SPEAKER_01

No. She's more reserved. She tends to spend more of a time reading.

SPEAKER_08

Are they twins again? Twins run in the family.

SPEAKER_01

Venaria is 15.

SPEAKER_03

Bro, I gotta ask, did mom live long enough to see a Venaria who is a prim proper young lady? Oh, she loves it.

SPEAKER_01

She is absolutely princess. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

She she loves Vina. Vina is very content to sit and read, study some magic.

SPEAKER_01

She's uh very reserved. Grandmother loves it. So now at this point I've got him over my shoulder like a sag of potatoes, and he's starting to breathe hard. So yeah, he's like, You have you have managed to find the well actually let me make a constitution pick. He's got a minus five because he's a child. Oh yeah, he rolled a six, so yeah, he's getting tired now. He is breathing hard and going, yeah, yeah. Do it again, do it again. After after you know, discussion and kind of catching up about family and kind of where everybody's at, you find out your your mom is to the southeast in King's Rest. It's it's just a town um from Thaxia. Basically, I had just like historical reference, but otherwise it's just a coastal town. That's where she is. She she retired to Florida. Yeah, she she's there with your uncle Robert. Connor, your cousin, is still here with his adopted daughter. So he Connor's in Ogun. Connor is in Ogun. Connor adopted uh a girl named Anna about 14 years ago. So she's she is adult at this point. So after we've had that discussion, Victor starts kind of wrapping things up.

SPEAKER_02

I am, of course, ecstatic to see my sister again and cannot wait to hear more of your adventure.

SPEAKER_01

I also have my duties as uh governor to attend to. I believe we can say that you will be more than an asset to the city. We can dispense with. The elf in the room, who had been waiting patiently until then, will interrupt.

SPEAKER_02

Victor, I had not thought you won for nepotism.

SPEAKER_08

And there it is.

SPEAKER_01

And Victor will nod and kind of laugh. Like you you make a fair point, Warden. Everyone who has come here before has had to demonstrate themselves capable to earn their place in our community.

SPEAKER_06

I thought that Dromash had uh attested to our demonstration.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, we Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I can I can recommend you, but it it has to come from the governor.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00

Pardon me, Warden, but I didn't mean to interrupt.

SPEAKER_02

You are just fine, of course.

SPEAKER_01

Victor will then ask, uh, did you have something in mind? She will step forward in this this woman can just give a a a description. She is tall, austere, she looks very focused on on her job and what she does. She's wearing grey, almost kind of a uniform, but it is it is polished, it is clean, it is very regimented. She has a eye patch over her left eye, and she has scars on her face and neck, and she will walk forward and just kind of like hello. And she will say, I mean, this is she's a tough-looking person.

SPEAKER_08

Is it bad that I'm kind of imagining like a snarkier looking Gwyneth Paltrow?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, you wouldn't be wrong. Yeah, just like, you know, like somebody grabbed the ponytail and just yanked it real hard.

SPEAKER_08

Or like Meryl Streep.

SPEAKER_01

Meryl Streep. That's a good one. Yeah, Meryl Meryl Streep as Captain Catherine Janeway. Yeah, like she's she looks very austere, but she has like her face doesn't communicate any anger. She doesn't look like she's judging anyone or anything. She is just very to the point. And she will suggest.

SPEAKER_02

Well, perhaps uh they can take care of that matter we discussed earlier. And Victor will say, ah, yes. That will be appropriate. I will take my leave here. I have an appointment that I must attend to, but Kildorah here, the warden of the local lantern hall, will take it from here. Thank you again for bringing my sister home. Thank you all for arriving safely. I will see you at another time.

SPEAKER_03

At this point, I just like hand paid her to to Lepidus. He's like fall falling asleep at this point.

SPEAKER_01

He will similarly like hold him like a sack of potatoes over one shoulder. Kildora will stand before you with her hands clasped behind her back.

SPEAKER_02

There are rumors in the city of missing children. Now, I have issued a warrant to investigate this. It has not been substantiated in any way yet. This would be something for assessment. There will be pay upon completion. Fifty gold each, and if you so choose, you may then take the oath and become lanterns yourselves. You could register as a free company, and then you would be able to find work in any settlement with a lantern hall. I believe it would suit your skills quite nicely if I am to understand what you used to work for the Adventurers Guild. Correct, ma'am. If you are amenable to this, then we can count this as your means of showing your worth to Ogan.

SPEAKER_01

For clarification, um you'd say that this needs to be assessed first as to determine if it's even.

SPEAKER_02

Currently we have rumors, we have a few reports, and we have some leads. This is yet to be taken up by a official lantern. I feel it would be appropriate to your skill set, and would serve as a great way for you to show what you can do.

SPEAKER_08

Alright. Before we head out, do you gu during the fall, do you know what happened to the Eustachogian woods?

SPEAKER_02

She will pause and look down for a moment and parse her lips and it burned.

SPEAKER_08

Have you heard anything about the settlement of Valon?

SPEAKER_02

There were some groups that attempted to evacuate via the tunnels underneath the forest. Some of the Sharathi knew ways. That's where they came from. But it's hard to know if they survived with Ezekron controlling the entirety of the underrealms.

SPEAKER_08

Do you has the name Phi or the name of a nymph Channery come up at all?

SPEAKER_02

Phi is a name that I have heard before. It is my understanding that he was one of the ones who helped lead people through the tunnels.

SPEAKER_08

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_02

So if that group survived, he might have as well.

SPEAKER_08

I am choosing to believe that my grandfather is too insane to die.

SPEAKER_02

Well, the wood was burned in its entirety by Oraz in an act of defiance and rage.

SPEAKER_08

Is there a grave of his that we could all collectively piss on?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, believe me, we put his body to the torch in a number of ways. At any rate, if you are amenable to taking on this task, it is a C rank warrant, so fifty gold, as I mentioned, is appropriate.

SPEAKER_01

We shall meet at the Lantern Hall in the morning, as it is look out the window. It is evening-ish, early evening. It is a bit later to get a started at the moment.

SPEAKER_02

But Dromash, if you will meet them at the Lantern Hall. In the morning, we can continue this.

SPEAKER_00

Then absolutely.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you, ma'am. Um I think I don't think there's gonna be much uh argument among us whether or not we're gonna accept this. Where can we sleep for tonight?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, uh I I got you covered. Ma'am, um, if if you don't mind, we'll we'll go ahead and head out.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely. I will see you tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01

And Drum Ash will we'll leave you out. So, yes, you make your way back out to I have a map code. Yes. The governor's mansion is at a T intersection of Processional Way and Imperial Avenue. I made a fucking map. Right, you you stand there. These streets were named before the fall. They were, in fact. You go out to onto, as I mentioned, those those streets. And Dromash will suggest.

SPEAKER_00

So it depends what you want. If you want good food and a decent bed, you go to the dancing mare. If you want strong drinks and no questions, you go to the nightcap. If you got something to mourn, you head to the holy hole.

SPEAKER_03

Not quite in the mood for some holy hole tonight. Myself.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's it's uh do what now?

SPEAKER_03

I'm okay. We we're we've only been back on Demora for a little bit. I'm okay with splurgy.

SPEAKER_07

Whatever you guys need, I'm more than willing to come along.

SPEAKER_08

I think I need a drink. I think I need a few drinks. Dalos, would you like to go get a drink? You can watch imbibe.

SPEAKER_03

Would you like to watch me get drunk? Would you like to be the designated walker? Because we don't drive.

SPEAKER_07

That is what you all need.

SPEAKER_00

Well, yeah, if you're looking to get drunk, you probably we want to go to the nightcap. Strong drinks. Dromash. Not quite as comfortable as the mayor.

SPEAKER_08

Dromash, would you like to join us?

SPEAKER_00

Me?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, absolutely. I'd love to have a drink with y'all.

SPEAKER_08

Let's go get fucked up.

SPEAKER_01

Let's go to the nightcap. So you do have to walk kind of to the other side of the city to get to the nightcap. It's uh near the front gates.

SPEAKER_08

We've walked a magical continent. We can walk to the to the bar.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely. Well, yeah, you you pass by. Basically, you're walking through kind of a municipal area. You've got the governor's mansion, the museum, courthouse, library, city guard barracks all kind of packed together near each other. And you pass by as you go. And a lot of these buildings look to have that strong Thaxian imperial kind of structure to it. You know, it's grandiose, very sturdy.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so like original construction.

SPEAKER_01

There, yeah, no, the the buildings that you're passing here are pre-fall. They are ornamental, grandiose, very imperial. As you keep heading away from there, you do start seeing more of that Spartan post-fall weird building because we need shelter. Once you get closer to what's called the threshold gate, it's the way you saw them on the way in, but it's basically like a pair of double gates. You basically see that gate, and then you make a right, and the night cap is right there. It is where you see a lot of like guards, um, people who are off duty. With it being right next to the gap. This is the first inn that you would see as you're coming into Ogin. Its rooms are cheap, they are clean enough, and they are designed for stays measured in nights, not weeks. The common area there is filled with caravan guards, Fedelian messengers from various city-states, mercenaries between contracts, and refugees who passed inspection but have not yet given offered acceptance.

SPEAKER_03

It's cause it's it's Casablanca, basically.

SPEAKER_01

A little bit. Yeah. The conversation here is minimal. There there are plenty of people in the nightcap. There's not a whole lot of chatter. People are basically just, you know, they're at the end of their day and they're just trying to cope. There is a lot of people here eating. Basically, you would see it as a thick slab of beef with like caramelized onions. There's a fried egg on there, some cheese, and I'm sitting on like a biscuit. A lot of people eating that, and it smells fucking awesome.

SPEAKER_08

That sounds good.

SPEAKER_01

It's heavy as hell. But it looks like if you if you and if you just carbs and protein.

SPEAKER_08

Demorto cookbook when? Demorto cookbook when?

SPEAKER_01

I got I got some good ones here. There's also something called shield breakers that you see on the menu. It's like spiced sausages served split and seared with hot mustard and pickled cabbage.

SPEAKER_03

I was expecting that to be like the like the moonshine cocktail. Like two shield breakers. Oh, we don't serve those more than one at a time, sir.

SPEAKER_08

I fully thought it was gonna be like Demora Hard Tech.

SPEAKER_01

Oh no, this is see, and and you mentioned the booze. This is post-fall taverns. They have essentially moonshine. Yeah. Oh yeah. They have moonshine and beer.

SPEAKER_03

Don't leave your spoon in it. The spoon will dissolve.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. But here you are with a nightcap. Uh Dalos will not Delos. Dromash. Delos. Dromash will pick a table and Dalos and Dromash scare off some people from a table and then decide that's where you're still.

SPEAKER_08

We just approach to like say hi and they run. Oh fuck!

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Like Lunette's just like, buddy, you are very v- You know how like when we showed up, you had no idea what to do? Like at all? But you all were nice. Yes, yes. But it took you a few seconds to like realize that.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Very similar situations. We don't have we don't have clockwork nutting out here.

SPEAKER_07

Dromash was a thing.

SPEAKER_08

I think Dromash is very enthusiastic, regardless of what people look at. Dalos goes, yeah! I don't think Dalos.

SPEAKER_00

Just anybody who wants like, yeah!

SPEAKER_08

I don't think Dalos has like a stranger danger meter.

SPEAKER_01

Nah.

SPEAKER_08

No, he's known everyone that's been around him his whole life.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and and like the the guards that pass by that you do that with, they actually respond pretty well with it. They're like, okay, you're weird, but yeah, all right.

SPEAKER_07

They're like, that's a weird armor. Why does it move?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. But you you all get sat down, and Dromash will flag down a waitress who comes up and she's she's got like that typical, you know, tavern I won't say wench. This is a tavern maid. Maid. Yes. Appropriate word. Yes, this is a tavern maid. She walks up, she's got her hair, you know, messy ponytail, she's got her little notepad for taking orders. And what can I get you? Welcome to the nightcap.

SPEAKER_08

Alcohol?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Any of it. Anything.

SPEAKER_01

Alcohol.

SPEAKER_08

Hard month. Bad month. Bad twenty years.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah. It's like we've we've discovered a whole new definition of it's been a long month.

SPEAKER_07

It's been twenty years.

SPEAKER_08

Horrors beyond reasonable comprehension. A cup about that big.

SPEAKER_01

So you want a lot of alcohol.

SPEAKER_03

Well, some something to get us in that to a happy place, but not to a blind place, if you don't mind.

SPEAKER_01

You want a picture of beer, or do you want a pitch of moonshine?

SPEAKER_03

Let's start with the beer and then that then we'll we'll start the evening. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Alright.

SPEAKER_03

So do you food?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, I'll have one of the specials.

SPEAKER_01

One of those big slabs of beef. Alright, so everybody wants a cap stack. What about you, Darlin? Looking at you, Daylos.

SPEAKER_08

Um.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know what you are. Do you eat?

SPEAKER_08

Generally, no. Do you want to try?

SPEAKER_03

Let's have another cap stack for our friend. And then if you don't eat, we can just eat more.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I'll yeah, I'll if you don't eat it, perfect. So that's one, two, three, four, five, baby's first meal, and it's bar food.

SPEAKER_01

Five capstacks and a pitch of beer. Alright, I'll be right back. Sit tight. Thank you, ma'am. I flick her a copper. So she was walking away, so you hit her on the back of the head with it. I didn't look first. Oh, you're gonna get it. What? What was that?

SPEAKER_03

Sorry, that was a tip. I got another one for you over here. I tried and failed to bounce it off the cake. Here you go.

SPEAKER_01

She'll walk up and she'll tip forward. Got another one. Thank you. Thank you for your service. Coin slot. Alright. Thank you, sugar. And she'll wink and walk away.

SPEAKER_04

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_01

Like I said, there are there are folks around in the common area here, but otherwise it is pretty peaceful. You're just waiting for your food. Dromeash is there. Just having a good time with you.

SPEAKER_03

You guys, I'm an auntie.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Now you see why I wanted you to come back.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, thank thank thank you, bro. You're welcome, bro. Didn't realize it was gonna be like a bro, bro.

SPEAKER_00

Now you're an aunt bro, bro.

SPEAKER_03

With your bro. Am I the first aunt bro, bro?

SPEAKER_00

An auntie bro.

SPEAKER_03

An auntie bro. Auntie bro.

SPEAKER_00

What's it like being an auntie bro? It's crazy, bro. Bro. Bro.

SPEAKER_01

Hair Tots. Dromash. Dromesh nods like he likes stage wisdom was just spoken like Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Dromash.

SPEAKER_00

That's me, I'm Dromash.

SPEAKER_07

I have a big question for you.

SPEAKER_00

Big question.

SPEAKER_07

How did you get your sword infused with materium?

SPEAKER_00

This this was given to me through the lantern hall. It's uh standard equipment for a chimera warden. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Dayless will attempt to waggle eyebrows back. There are not eyebrows. It's eyelids more than anything else.

SPEAKER_00

They're like flash. Yeah, I just flash a couple times. But you you need this to fight the Necromera, so that's pretty much standard issue. Uh I think you can get it from the Ash Mantle Forge, but you you'd have to special order it.

SPEAKER_08

I wonder. See, back in KMOunt had a really cool gauntlet. And I'm wondering if I could get Materium put in here. Like on her put on her metal hand.

SPEAKER_00

Or in here, grab the hammer just boom.

SPEAKER_08

DOM. Yeah. Yeah. So uh basically Lynette kind of like holds up her middle hand. She's like, Do you think they do customs?

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely. Yeah. The the thing about it, I I don't know a whole lot about why it works, but it just needs to be part of the weapon that you use to hit them.

SPEAKER_08

Put an ingot in the face the face. You could put an ingot materium in a sock and just start swinging that around, apparently.

SPEAKER_00

You you could do soap in a sock, yeah, with some materium and work too.

SPEAKER_07

Inside the soap.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah. Something about it disrupts what they are.

SPEAKER_07

Could I punch them?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, you could punch them.

SPEAKER_03

Put some materium in your core and then just everything.

SPEAKER_07

I materium is my core.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, well shit. That should be working.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, you departed the weapon. Dylan's like looks at you and is like, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_03

Well, I just became an ant.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know what's happening. At length the the waitress comes back with the pitcher of beer. She plops it down. It looks drinkable. It looks like beer. Yep. It's definitely a little bit.

SPEAKER_07

As the Australians call it. Piss.

SPEAKER_01

Pass.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, that's just like cup now, please.

SPEAKER_01

Just we'll have the capstacks out in just a minute.

SPEAKER_08

That holds her cup out and she like lightly elbows Venoria. She's like, cup, Phil, please.

SPEAKER_00

Drill Mash will take it. He's like, let me. Formerly to Ogan. May you stay alive long enough to enjoy it. And you'll drink it. Ha ha. Yay. Yay.

SPEAKER_03

And two survivors. Maybe there'll be many more that we haven't run into yet, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Another people in the Vargo, yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Or like the loudest party.

SPEAKER_01

Like people, everybody's kind of looking at you, but like, okay, yeah, all right.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's it like it starts out like who the fuck are these weirdos? And like, oh, they're drinking. Okay, they're what they're ones. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

As soon as you start kind of getting into that drinking mode, you know, they they accept you. They're not bothering you. Your cap stacks will come out, and it is heavy, messy, unapologetically. It's not like an eating challenge. Like, it is all moose. It's like just a stack of fat and carbs and glory. It's basically like I'm here for the night and I have earned this.

SPEAKER_08

I almost died seven times in the last three weeks, gimme.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And it's and it's got one of those runny eggs where it's like it is like perfectly cooked and it sits there, and it's like as soon as you pierce it, just this golden goo falls down over the whole mess.

SPEAKER_08

Brandon is not a fan.

SPEAKER_01

Philistine.

SPEAKER_08

I know exactly what you were thinking.

SPEAKER_01

For for those of us who enjoy good food.

SPEAKER_03

I just take Venari takes the time to like very carefully like fork off hers and like puts it on Deloses. Like, you can deserve some extra protein, sir.

SPEAKER_07

Delos looks so scared.

SPEAKER_01

So, does Dalos try the calf stack?

SPEAKER_07

He's gonna imitate them as best he can. It's gonna be terrible. It's like a kid first time using utensils ever.

SPEAKER_03

Can I give the help action on the can I cut his food for it?

SPEAKER_07

Sure, yeah, roll roll of advantage. Is it it's a okay, okay. Oh, okay. I'm glad you did not want to give me an advantage. Um that is you said saving or check.

SPEAKER_01

It is a check.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, I got it. 14.

SPEAKER_01

You got a 14. After some help from your party members, you you do learn, okay, the knife goes in this hand and you cut the food with it. Yeah, it's very awkward at first, but eventually you do you get a little bit of a tiniest little bite. You get some of that beef on there, some of the onions, some of the egg and cheese.

SPEAKER_07

It's not a small bite, but it is the smallest bite he can possibly make with the dexterity that you have.

SPEAKER_01

What do you do with it?

SPEAKER_07

He's gonna imitate what they're doing.

SPEAKER_01

So you okay, so you you open your mechanical mouth, which is not really designed for eating.

SPEAKER_07

And he he's kind of just like a shell, so like it just kind of hits his core.

SPEAKER_03

See, with this, I'm thinking of the ghosts, uh the ghostly trio in Casper where they start eating and the stuff just goes straight through and hits the ground.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, it's not quite, but like it's close.

SPEAKER_01

They hit stuff on the way, but like it's like hit the food in there and it just kind of oozes down the inside of your chassis.

SPEAKER_07

He goes, mmm. Because everyone else seems to be enjoying it. Yeah, it's good. Like how happy he is.

SPEAKER_00

Um you like it? Does it taste good? Yes Yeah, and he like claps you on the back, like, awesome!

SPEAKER_07

And just grease sprays out the front of the little tiny, you just see like little bit a little bit comes out, and he's like, he feels gross.

SPEAKER_08

So Lynette's gonna reach over and she's just gonna like, she's gonna like pat his arm and then like slide the plate from him to in front of her.

SPEAKER_01

Drum actually like gets gets a fork full and it's like a third of the plate, and he just just side loads it into his massive jaw. Great.

SPEAKER_07

Daelos takes out his little polishing cloth and immediately starts cleaning it off.

SPEAKER_03

His little pocket square.

SPEAKER_08

Oh god. I have ki I I have uh contamination. I've chosen poorly.

SPEAKER_03

Venaria sees Dromash eat this way, so she's gonna try to hole hog this thing.

SPEAKER_08

Oh god.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Just not like the she's got the knife in it, uh-huh, but that is now a handle. And then the fork is in it, and that's also a handle. So this is like she's gonna try to like flip this thing. That is bigger than her head.

SPEAKER_01

Let's assume that Venaria, as a combat person who's used to wielding things in her hand, can get this to your face. Roll to choke. Yeah, let's roll constitution to see.

SPEAKER_08

If you suffocate. If you yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Check or saving throw.

SPEAKER_01

Let's do a saving throw. Okay, to try not to choke on it.

SPEAKER_08

Uh roll for class action lawsuits.

SPEAKER_03

Alright. And I'm planning on chewing. This isn't she's not trying to like.

SPEAKER_01

No, absolutely, but you're shoving this entire pile of grease and carbs directly into your mouth.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, 18.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. You man it, yes. You get it in your mouth. It is not pretty. It's oozing out a little bit. It's gross looking, but you have it all in your mouth.

SPEAKER_07

Delos takes the plate from Lunette and slides it towards Renard.

SPEAKER_03

Bonus round unlocked. Dramash's breathing a little heavy, like, damn, look at you go. And I feel like I feel like there would be this dramatic moment because again, this is with knife and fork in it, gets that in, and then it's gonna have to do this like pulling out the swords out of the scabbard situation. And then does a double mic drop on the table. Slow collapse.

SPEAKER_08

Meanwhile, uh, little bits, because uh Lunette's familiar hoonigan, it's part rabbit, part like bird of prey. So I'm assuming that he can eat meat. He's also a familiar and a spirit, but don't don't harp on me. Uh so Lunette's just like feeding him little bits, like she's still kind of moping a little bit, but she's like feeding him little bits of meat.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, he's he's enjoying kind of whatever you hand to him. It sounds like they're probably obnumerous.

SPEAKER_08

So yeah, little bits of egg, little bits of meat, just I just imagine he's kind of an idiot, so I don't give him anything too big.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, he doesn't really even look at whatever you hand him, he just entrusts it as food, and it goes in his mouth.

SPEAKER_08

Pretty much.

SPEAKER_03

So Venera like she like takes the plate, she's like, now that the pregame is over. And then just and then becomes like the dainty lady. Just like this.

SPEAKER_07

The one who taught Delos how to use the utensils.

SPEAKER_02

I'm a lady of Fidelia.

SPEAKER_03

Well, because it's a sense of like she had like we haven't had real food in three weeks.

SPEAKER_08

We've had like rations and jet rations and raw vegetables that Hootie found for us.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, sometimes just random stuff. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So to get back and have bar food, yeah, we've got to have that.

SPEAKER_01

It is real good. Especially if we're being on the road for a while. Yeah, like that hits your body and it is thankful for the nourishment.

SPEAKER_07

Um, question. Did did they bring us any of this moonshine?

SPEAKER_01

Well, we just all they've got is the beer.

SPEAKER_07

Because I was curious. Delos's core heats up. What if what if you took it? Not the rocket fuel, not the rocket just.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely. If you ask her time, you're like, I can get you some sugar.

SPEAKER_07

Well, I don't think that the beer would be a good idea because then that would just be gross.

SPEAKER_03

I was gonna well, yeah, I was gonna say it's it's gonna, it's sugar in the system.

SPEAKER_07

And then I'll burn high enough.

SPEAKER_05

Oh misery and woe. Jenova doesn't eat a lot of meat, um, so she's um kind of given like her fire otter fritter, you know, the egg. Oh, fritter loves it. And the meat, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

He's doing that, he's doing that like little, you know, weasley musseled thing where he's just kind of hopping up and then you hand him the the bit of the egg and he takes like the whole thing and just Oh Jen, our familiars can like rough us around.

SPEAKER_08

We instruct them to behave.

SPEAKER_05

So like moms at stay here.

SPEAKER_03

Don't make me send you back to the spirit world.

SPEAKER_05

So, Dromash, about tomorrow. Um what's going on with the missing children?

SPEAKER_00

Well, uh don't know a lot myself. There's been some rumors kind of towards the southeast side of town, just children not showing back up.

SPEAKER_01

But that's that's about all I know. Uh there'll there should be more in the report when we see it tomorrow, but there'll be like a dossier. But it's it's not really been substantiated, just rumors now. But that's part of what we do. We look into things because the the guard have to wait for Yeah, well, it it can be.

SPEAKER_03

What's special about the southeast side of town? Is that like less defended or not really?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, that's we've got you've got Octagon Market, lantern halls over there, there's uh the Mercy House. Uh basically a mercy uh an orphanage, children's hospital, you know, for the elderly, kind of just for the weak and infirm. You know, just a a place where they can go and they can get treatment.

SPEAKER_05

But is it other than the orphanage that these children are missing? Or is this from families?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, some of them are from the orphanage, some of them from the families nearby. I don't know a whole lot other than that.

SPEAKER_00

We'll find out tomorrow.

SPEAKER_05

All right. This was concerning me. I wanted to ask.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I mean, since the fall, sometimes people just don't show back up. He says it like that's just a fact of the world now. Sometimes people just don't come back.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, Lunette's head once again hits the table. All of the stress that she has been through just flares.

SPEAKER_01

She comes back with it's one of those brown glass jugs with like a like a cork in it. Oh no. And she'll set it down on the table. Be careful with that. No open flames near near the jar. The bottle. It's a jug. Pardon me. That's a jug. I know what it is. I work here.

SPEAKER_08

So she too has imbibes.

SPEAKER_01

I it's a long shift. What do you think?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, Dayless will just like do we have like l any like glasses or anything for these, or we just use the stuff?

SPEAKER_01

There's a there's a glass like on top of the jug.

SPEAKER_07

Okay. Dalos uses that and like gets like a tablespoon at a time, and you'll see him like sit there for a second. He glows a little bit. And then he swallows it the same way. And then he does again.

SPEAKER_01

Like there is a strong smell of like grain alcohol. It is irritable. Yeah.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Does anybody else want to try the moonshine?

SPEAKER_08

Uh Lunette does, yes.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. So uh where are you going for just like a little sip or are you you pulling yourself a slug? Like, how are we doing this?

SPEAKER_08

I think she, well, her family was an outpost situation. It was kind of like a settlement, not necessarily like an established city. Uh-huh. So she is familiar with like self-made alcohol, thump kegs. Like, yeah, thump kegs, worm boxes, stuff like that. She's familiar with it, and she has learned this lesson before. She will take a careful sip first to kind of gauge where we're at.

SPEAKER_01

You could probably strip varnish with this stuff.

SPEAKER_08

That is nail polish remover.

SPEAKER_01

This is this is this is meant on daily. Not to taste good. This is meant to fuck you up. Okay. Or clean you. Or clean you out. Probably both. Yeah, I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_08

So I'm gonna look over at Daos and uh Lunette says, Can I convince you to just carry me home to wherever we're sleeping after this?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, we're sleeping here.

SPEAKER_08

Here? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Can you No, you you don't you don't drink in the nightcap without getting a room. Yeah. Because uh you're not walking out.

SPEAKER_08

Either you or you points to Venaria or you. One of you just get me upstairs. Fair?

SPEAKER_00

We'll make sure you're up.

SPEAKER_08

Yep. Uh and Luna like takes a bigger drink. I'm not gonna say she downs it, but I like it's one of those things where you know how when you take cough syrup, you just kind of like pinch your nose and you do it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. This is medicine, yeah. Uh roll constitution.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, here we go. I've been rolling so good today. I've been rolling so good today. Maybe if I get shit faced, I'll have a weird like I'll have uh my brain will go elsewhere and I'll see Todd. Could you imagine? Like you get so drunk you traverse planes.

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

SPEAKER_08

That's an eleven. Uh is it a save? Is it a save or a check?

SPEAKER_01

Okay, you're within ten feet of me. You're gonna add a plus three.

SPEAKER_08

Uh, so that's a 17.

SPEAKER_01

You feel that cap stack try to come back up on you, but you swallow and it goes back down, and you manage to keep the moonshine down. But you get real tipsy real fast. Yep. And your teeth go numb within a couple minutes.

SPEAKER_08

I think uh and I think Luna, she planned out how big of like a uh drink she wanted to take, and she's just gonna like sit at the table and just let it happen.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Let it wash over you.

SPEAKER_01

No, you get that good, numb feeling real fast. Yep. It does the job.

SPEAKER_08

Good shit.

SPEAKER_01

So you you all have a night uh you have a lovely night of releasing some stress, having some good food, you get some booze in you.

SPEAKER_04

Cleaning, cleaning yourself out.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I feel like right after, like to whatever level of fucked up we do get for the evening, I feel like right after we hit it is when the music starts. Oh yeah. I mean like our our inhibitions are in another like plane of existence at this point. So it's just like, woohoo, karaoke.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I mean, there's there's not like a whole lot of music here. This is usually a pretty subdued place, but they did have a bard that came by who was just singing old college jams.

SPEAKER_08

It's uh it's divorced dad rock at the pub.

SPEAKER_01

Essentially, yeah. So, you know, you you you get you get through some of that. Yeah, and and he will he will play it up for you. Basically, he doesn't usually get people asking for like louder music or to you know dance around and stuff at this place, so he'll take the opportunity as as you all present it in and and jam out. So you all finish out the night, and n it's the the yeah, the the rooms are Spartans probably not the right word, but they're definitely purpose-driven. They are rooms, they're serviceable enough, and you can plop right down on the bed when you are ready.

SPEAKER_07

I just stand in the door and continue to clean. Wait, he will be spotless.

SPEAKER_08

Was it Dalos or Drumash that ended up grabbing Lunette? Probably Dalos.

SPEAKER_07

No, actually. All three of us, as in the bros. Yeah, bros carry you up. We're grabbing you. Venaria then started falling. So the two bros. Oh, wait, hold on. Oh, wait, wait. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

I love you guys. We had a great summer.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, love you too. You're yes, come on.

SPEAKER_03

Dromesh continues to have conflicting feelings.

SPEAKER_08

I just imagine Dayload.

SPEAKER_03

I don't know how to feel about this.

SPEAKER_08

I'm just imagining Dalo's just like drops her on the bed. Full and then he's like, I will sit in the corner.

SPEAKER_07

I have a question.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_07

So I have a water skin that obviously doesn't have anything in it. Uh, can I put the moonshine in my water skin? Because I found that it's really good to clean.

SPEAKER_01

You sure can. Yeah, and get a little bit in there. Oh, we gotta remember that for later because we have a wildfire druid.

SPEAKER_08

Are you saying I cast i cast Molotov cocktail?

SPEAKER_01

Alright, so yeah, you you all get to bed and when you wake up in the morning, nobody really has a hangover so much. You definitely feel that you ate a big greasy meal. Yes. And you don't feel it in the morning, but it's okay.

SPEAKER_08

I love that the cap stack is what has us fucked up, not the fucking wood varnish we drank.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, the capstack basically absorbed every bit of that boost. Yep. So in the morning, uh Dromash had left uh basically that you all were going to bed. He went back to, you know, his own place. But when you arrive at the lantern hall, Dromash is leaned against it with he's just kind of like dozing. But this is a plains three-story stone structure made from local sandstone and reinforced at the corners with dark dwarven iron banding. There are no banners, there's no slogans, no heraldry. There is only a single uh lantern sigil inset into the stone above the door. That's slightly worn from touch. A signal mast rises from the roof and has an unlit lantern perched at the top. The doors themselves are heavy slabs of wood and steel made to withstand anything. As you approach, drill ashes just kind of from a distance.

SPEAKER_00

Bro! Bro!

SPEAKER_07

Clap him on the shoulder.

SPEAKER_00

Hey! Hey, good morning! Welcome. You all you all ready to get started? Let's see it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Like we light the way, what do we got?

SPEAKER_01

No, that's um that's that's the thing with this building, is it it's there's not there's like no ornamentation about it. It is very function-oriented.

SPEAKER_08

I wonder if that's strategic. If a lot of the guilds got hit first during the following, if they're like, oh, don't do that.

SPEAKER_03

Don't tell don't tell them where the people with weapons are.

SPEAKER_08

Perchance, don't do that.

SPEAKER_01

As you enter, the interior is basically like where where the intake is. You've got a counter. Uh behind that is what you would recognize as a job board back from the Adventurers Guild days, but it is now called a warrant board. And along the walls there are benches for people who are waiting to be seen. There is.

SPEAKER_08

You may perceive these nuts. 14.

SPEAKER_07

Sorry, that was not a dam it to the 14, it was a dammit to the nuts.

SPEAKER_08

God damn these nuts.

SPEAKER_03

16.

SPEAKER_08

I shouldn't have rolled a 15.

SPEAKER_02

15.

SPEAKER_01

Excellent.

SPEAKER_08

I'm doing math. Give me a second. 22.

SPEAKER_01

If you got a 15 or higher, you can hear there is a hum coming from underneath the floor. And the the air, like it is it is spring, so it has been muggy and warm outside. In here, it is cool and it is dry. Like air conditioning.

SPEAKER_08

This is witchcraft. They missed the industry, like our team just missed the industrial age of our low-tech world. They were missing on the whole 20 years. They were working on trains when we left.

SPEAKER_01

What did you get, Daylos?

SPEAKER_08

14.

SPEAKER_01

You so you don't you don't really notice the air conditioning, which makes sense. Because you're mechanical, yeah. It's not something you really usually worry about.

SPEAKER_08

You have no dermis.

SPEAKER_01

What you notice is that sounds like that sounds like what materium sounds like when you spit it up. Like it has this kind of hum uh of like of like just energy moving. But yeah. That is where we're at on the first floor.

SPEAKER_03

Is there somebody sitting behind the front desk?

SPEAKER_01

There is. There is a uh unassuming human woman about middle age, dark hair cut straight at the jaw.

unknown

She

SPEAKER_01

Is sitting there watching you all, not really saying anything. There are other people who uh other staff members who are moving about. They're all in that same kind of gray, not necessarily exactly the same clothing, but the same tone of grey, uh purpose-driven clothing.

SPEAKER_08

The color is the uniform, not so much the clothes cut to be a uniform.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. And at they all have a lantern pin at the collar. And if you remember, uh Kildora had this as well, but it's just it's a brass lantern pin. Uh some of them it's brand new and shiny, but a few of them it it looks to just be worn with with age and touch. A little bit, yeah. So okay, is is Dromash wearing a that same like colour and does he have a p uh a lantern pin? Dromash tends to wear his armor, um, but now that you're looking, you do see along his collar, yeah, there is there's one of those lantern pins. Dromash will walk up to the counter and she will ask, Name. Can I ask why you're here?

SPEAKER_00

And well, bro. Um We we defer to your bro authority. Thank you. Thank you, bro. Well, I'm here with we've got Lunette, we've got Venaria, Galos, and Genova.

SPEAKER_01

They are here to see the war. She will nod. Look at the four of you, and she'll stand. She will close the ledger that was in front of her. And she'll say more to the room than you all.

SPEAKER_02

You will come with me.

SPEAKER_01

And the the energy in the room changes immediately. And every one of the staff members, they're not really making a show of it, but they are watching. And Dromash like swallows audibly.

SPEAKER_03

I feel like Dalos is doesn't even notice people staring because he's staring at, in fact, everything. Yes.

SPEAKER_08

Organics come in every shape and size, oh my!

SPEAKER_01

Look all these people.

SPEAKER_07

Why are they all looking at me like they have been this whole time?

SPEAKER_08

This is the normal experience.

SPEAKER_01

Dromash will say under his breath, that's Saren, she's always kind of like that. But she will take you behind the counter and up through a set of stairs behind her desk. They go up, it skips like a second floor, and you end up on the third floor. At the top of the stairs, there is an very heavy door. And two guards stand there. They are wearing kind of that same gray getup, but it is worn fabric, thin at the elbows and shoulders. Venaria, you specifically would recognize that's that's what those kind of clothes would look like with armor sitting on top. That is worn down. At their hips hang knives that even sheathed read like curved cleavers. These are implements meant to end matters without ceremony.

SPEAKER_08

Super fun. Yeah. And they will not fucked at all.

SPEAKER_01

They will nod to Saren and she will turn and head back down the stairs and not say another word. So we just all kind of clump up at the top of the stairs.

SPEAKER_06

It was goes, it was nice to meet you.

SPEAKER_01

She says nothing. Just walk walks downstairs without another word.

SPEAKER_07

It's the first time someone's been meaning to us. It's not.

SPEAKER_08

Roll for hurt feelings. Damn.

SPEAKER_01

So where the first floor had felt alive, the the air up in this room, there is a thick air of authority. And the guards, they will they won't really say anything, but one of them kind of reaches over and opens the door and waits for you to enter. And the other one will follow behind.

SPEAKER_03

I'd say like single file behind Dromash.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, Dromash looks a little he's quieter than he usually is. He's just he nods to the guards there. And the corridor that you step into, like I said, it's it's a little bit narrow, but it's lined with a lot of hallways. The doors on them are marked with a single letter and a number. There's no other markings for what the doors are. They are featureless and uniform. Except for at the end of the hallway, there is a set of double doors. And as you get down to the end of that hallway, the guard will knock on the door once and then wait for a response from within. Just a enter. And then they will open the door. So as you enter, you see Keldora is waiting in the office. She is already standing with her hands clasped behind her back in front of her desk. Her scarred face is set, not with disdain or haughtiness, but with something closer to grim satisfaction. You are welcome to make an inside check.

SPEAKER_03

That's a seven.

SPEAKER_08

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01

I got two. You got you got a two total? Hang on, hang on, hang on. I got twelve. Come on, leave the answers.

SPEAKER_05

I got a twelve. Uh twenty-two.

SPEAKER_01

Twenty-two. If you got a fifteen or higher, you realize this was a test. Yeah. Just getting here. You just passed that first test.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So she will hold her position in front of her desk. She lets the silence stretch for a minute. It's not long, but long enough to let you know that she's still kind of evaluating you. So after that moment of silence, she will speak finally.

SPEAKER_02

You've heard the words already. Children disappearing. That is all the city knows. That is all you know. And until this moment, that was intentional.

SPEAKER_01

She will step aside and lean one hand against the desk. Still standing.

SPEAKER_02

Not unless the rumors prove they deserve it. She'll look at each of you in turn. This warrant is not for resolution. Not yet.

SPEAKER_01

It is for assessment. She will gesture there is a sealed folio on the desk. She hasn't open it.

SPEAKER_02

At present, there is no confirmed crime. No bodies. No witnesses. No evidence that would move the guard. Which means if something is wrong, it's wrong in a way that wraps itself in calm.

SPEAKER_01

Her mouth tightens a little bit. That is why this is a lantern matter. Except for Dromash, you have not taken the oath, as of yet. You do not speak with the authority of this hall.

SPEAKER_02

You will not remove children by force unless lives are immediately at risk. You will listen. You will observe. You will note patterns where the rumors cluster, what language repeats, what isn't being said as much as what is. And you will bring back what you find to me before you act on conclusions. I did not choose this warrant to see whether you are capable. I chose it to see whether you are careful.

SPEAKER_08

Is it bad to say she's like scary in a hot way? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Are we saying this telepathically because Venario would tell her be like, Welcome to my life? I'm not scary, I was just written that way.

SPEAKER_08

Don't do that to me. Lunette via the bracer is like hot.

SPEAKER_02

So far, you have not embarrassed this hall. That is why you are still standing here.

SPEAKER_01

She will then open the folio, uh, slide a single page across the desk. You start with the city, not the rumor. On the page, you see written Mercy House, families and other children, and cathedral aides. You are looking for change, not absence.

SPEAKER_02

Shifts in behavior, repetition, comfort where there should be fear. If something is persuading children to leave, it will leave marks before it leaves gaps. You will close the folio again. If this turns out to be nothing, you will walk away quietly and no one will thank you. If it turns into something worse, and you make it louder than it needs to be, more children will vanish before we can stop it.

SPEAKER_01

That balances the test. Report back when you have something of note.

SPEAKER_02

Do not mistake restraint for indifference.

SPEAKER_01

She lets that hang. She wants this matter brought to light.

SPEAKER_08

But in a controlled manner.

SPEAKER_01

In a controlled manner, yes.

SPEAKER_08

She said, do not fuck up my house. It's my house.

SPEAKER_01

If you like what you heard, please remember to leave us a review, leave a comment, like, share, subscribe, all the things. There are social media links in the description, including our Discord. Please feel free to join us for updates, clips, and other shenanigans. Subscribe to this show on your favorite podcasting platform and then brag about it to your friends, your co-workers, that one cool person you know that you try to talk to but you can never find the right words. These shows grow through word of mouth, so the best way you can support our new adventure here is to spread the word. Our wonderful players were Brandon Rose as Benaria, Courtney Craig as Lunette, Elizabeth Nichols as Dalos, and Jen Walkup as Jenova. I again have been your DM and host, Alexander Wright. Thanks again for listening, and we will see you again next time at the Good Good Tableau.

SPEAKER_08

Like how you leaned away and everything and it totally cut me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, no, it's still like a like a dad sneeze.

SPEAKER_08

Oh god. I've whatever gusto pills you take, I need some because your your mic waves almost look normal in comparison to everyone else's TV. You may project these nuts.

SPEAKER_03

I feel like I'm not sure. I started something just by posting on the Discord that like you said you posted a thing that had D's nuts energy and now you are on a mission. D's nuts.

SPEAKER_01

No, watch out for that dragon.

SPEAKER_08

D's nuts. D'uts.

SPEAKER_01

Keep it up for the goblin.

SPEAKER_08

Have you heard about the mind goblins?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, mouth noises.

SPEAKER_02

I didn't do mouth noises.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, which is why we can't that was certainly a mouth noise. That counts. That's going in the category of mouth noise.

SPEAKER_01

It was a noise that came out of my mouth hole, so yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01

Cool.

Contributor

Alexander Wright

Host
Contributor

Brandon Rose

Co-host
Contributor

Courtney Craig

Co-host
Contributor

Elizabeth Nichols

Co-host
Contributor

Jenny Walkup

Co-host