NHL Playoffs 1st Round Predictions, Report Card Grades For Every Team Using A Food Scale, Matthews Needs To Be Traded (Show 2)

Sean discusses Ovechkin, Celebrini vs. Bedard and the latest Auston Matthews news during the Fresh Out The Oven segment. Then, he gives every team a report card grade for their regular season on the following food scale: Surf and Turf, Chicken Parmigiana, PB&J, Saltines, Turd Sandwich. Lastly, he makes his predictions for who will win each NHL Playoffs first round matchup and in how many games. It's Biscuit Breakdown! Consider yourself served!

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Transcript

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It's time for biscuit breakdown, where hockey is the only thing on the menu. And welcome back, everybody, whoever you are, wherever you are, whenever it is, it's always time for hockey. Be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and please rate five stars and leave a review if you would like. We would love to see that. You can follow us on Instagram at Biscuit Breakdown, Twitter, or X Biscuit Breakdown without the O in the name, or if you want to send me an email, biscuitbreakdownpod at gmail.com. I uh would love to hear from everyone out there about um hockey questions, debate topics, um if you think that I'm way off on a certain subject or player, let me know. Um if you want to submit um who you think burnt the biscuit or a really amazing goal or future predictions for the doggy bag segment, feel free. I would be happy to read them here on the show. Alright, we are going to get into the fresh out the oven segment, and there's a couple of things that I want to talk about before we get into the rest of the episode, where I will be giving every team a report card score on a rating from surf and turf to a turd sandwich. So stick around for that. I'll also be getting into the full round one of the NHL playoffs discussing who I think will win each matchup and in how many games it will occur. Alright, first up for the fresh out the oven segment, Alex Ovechkin. A lot of people are speculating, wondering, is he done? Is he retiring? Is he going back to Russia to finish out his career like he said he would? Um I don't think so. I think he is gonna come back for at least one more year in the NHL. The guy is just completely a legend, obviously. He's got 929 regular season goals, and he's got 77 Stanley Cup playoff goals. Capitals aren't in the playoffs this year, but if you are quick with math, that is 1,06 total goals joining Wayne Gretzky as the only player to ever do that. Completely insane. Um I think he comes back for one more year. He wants one more try at playoffs, and um I think that's what he's gonna do. There was a graphic that was put out of um him and Sidney Crosby. Basically, they have played against each other a ton, one hundred times altogether to be exact, between regular season and playoffs, which is crazy because they've both played for twenty-one years, I believe, something like that, twenty-one and twenty years. Earlier on in their careers, they hated each other, they were compared by everyone and even each other, and now there's a mutual respect. And the other day, when they played for the hundredth time, they took the opening face off against each other. Crosby won it easily because Ovechkin is not a center. Um, but at the end of the game, Crosby tried to organize a handshake line for Ovechkin, and he basically waved them off and was like, no, no, don't worry about it, don't do that. Um and he didn't seem very sad or anything or emotional. So that to me um makes me believe that he is going to come back to the NHL next year because I feel like if he knew it was his last game against the Penguins, he would have accepted that handshake line. Okay, our second out of three topics for the Fresh Out the Oven segment is Macklin Celebrini of the San Jose Sharks visiting Connor Bedard of the Chicago Blackhawks the other night. And off the opening face of Celebrini just dumps Bedard right on his ass. Uh just really disrespects him. I loved it. I was laughing. On the broadcast, they said that the two of them should have just fought and really amped up the crowd. They're both out of the playoffs, so why not? Um Bedard just got bullied in his home building. So it was an entertaining start to the game. And I think Bridard should have just fought Celebrini. I mean, why not? It's the last game of the season for you. If you get hurt, um, you know, no big deal if you hurt a finger or something like that, break your hand even a little bit, you got time to heal up. Um Celebrini had a game the night next night against the Winnipeg Jets, where he set the all-time franchise record for most points in a season by a San Jose Shark with I believe 115 points. Completely insane what that guy's doing. He's 19 years old, got 115 points in the NHL playing against grown ass men, and he's just proving why he belongs. But back to the whole Celebrini dumping Bedard thing, I feel like Bedard was challenged, bullied, lost, and then just accepted it. And he should have either fought or literally just skated off the rink, into the locker room, took off his gear, and just drove home because you can't get planted on your derriere and just accept it and just go on with the rest of your shift. You gotta do something about it. Um especially if you want to be considered better than the guy that people are constantly comparing you to. I think Celebrini is better, and I think he will be better over the course of his career, but obviously time will tell. Okay, third and final topic fresh out the oven is Austin Matthews. He is in the news, and if you are a Maple Leafs fan, that's not usually a good thing. Um let's see here. The other day he said when asked about his future with the team, I can't really predict the future. And then later on in the interview he said regarding if there's anything that the new general manager could do to make him want to stay in Toronto. He said, I don't think there's anything specific. So if you are reading that and you're a Toronto fan, you are probably shaking in your boots. If you are not a Toronto fan, you're probably laughing like I was because I think when his deal is done or even during the last two years of his deal, he will not remain as a Toronto Maple Leaf. He's either gonna ask for a trade or sign with a new team when his deal is up, or option three, if the new GM has half of a brain stem, he will decide to trade Austin Matthews and speed up their rebuild. Austin Matthews has a thirteen point five million dollar cap hit, and that would be a huge relief to their salary cap, and in return they would get either a ton of great draft picks and or young prospects, which would really speed up their rebuilds, because if they try to piecemeal this and do a retool on the fly instead of a true rebuild, I feel like it's going to blow up in their faces. Especially because the Atlantic Division is loaded with good teams. You got Tampa not going anywhere, Montreal Canadians are on the rise, Ottawa Senators are on the rise, they're all in the playoffs, Bruins uh retooled and it actually worked out because they're back in the playoffs, and you got the Panthers who will be back next year, hopefully healthy and hungry because they missed out on their chance to do a three-peat with all the injuries that they had this year, and you got the Buffalo Sabres, I mean the division is loaded, so Toronto is going to be ass cheeks, in my opinion, and they might as well do a full rebuild and set themselves up to be contenders in three to four years. And there are three teams that I feel they could trade Austin Matthews to right now to help speed up their rebuild. Number one being the Chicago Blackhawks. They've got a ton of cap space. They've got Connor Badard, and Austin Matthews and Connor Badard could be a one-two punch down the middle. They need centerman depth, and I feel like they have the means to acquire Austin and his $13.5 million cap hit because their salary cap, um they're not very close to the salary cap, they got money to blow, so they can make this happen. My second team that he can go to is the Detroit Red Wings. He can pair up with Dylan Larkin, who he um just played with at the Olympics. They were good buddies from what we've heard, and the Red Wings would help themselves by getting a legitimate number one center in his prime who can shore up their center depth and really finally get the Detroit Red Wings back into the playoffs. And lastly, number three, the Carolina Hurricanes, another team that's a bit weak down the middle, and I feel like they could trade a couple of pieces, get Austin Matthews, and that will really tip the scales in their favor to become legitimate contenders. They've been contenders for a while, but are they legitimate contenders? Can they finally put all the pieces together? And speaking of the Carolina Hurricanes, that reminded me, as of this recording on Friday evening, April seventeenth, twenty twenty six, they have yet to name a starting goalie for game one tomorrow. And this has been their Achilles heel for a long time now. They've always been a pretty good team throughout the regular season, looking really tough to beat, awesome at home, and then the playoffs start, and their goaltending shits the bed. So they've got three goalies that they can choose from, and behind door number one is Brandon Busse. He played well this year, but he's inexperienced. They got Frederick Anderson, who's been in the league for a long time, and he's got a body as fragile as a glass bottle. He's always injured every other playoff series, it seems, and then they recalled Pyotr Kachehov as their um third option, and he played a couple of games in the playoffs, and he was nothing special, so the Hurricanes, they are a force to be reckoned with, no pun intended, but once again the goalie situation might be their ultimate demise. And it seems like no matter what goalie Rod Brendamore chooses to put into game one, it's gonna be second guest, and then will he switch up for game two and game three? We will wait and see. And that concludes our fresh out the oven segment. Alright, it's time to change it up and get into the regular season report card grades for every team. We are grading on a scale of one through five, except we are going to use foods instead of numbers. The best score is the surfing turf. Little side of garlic mashed potatoes, little bit of broccoli there for good looks. Next level down, chicken parmesan. You got the Caesar salad, you got the garlic knot, everything's working well together. The next level down is the peanut butter and jelly. Sometimes it hits, and sometimes you're left a hangry son of a bitch twenty minutes later because it didn't get the job done. Next level down goes saltines, dry, boring, bland. And the lowest grade on our list is going to be a turd sandwich. Nothing good about it. It stinks, it's a disaster, it's disgusting, and you would never want it. Alright, we are gonna start with the Atlantic division, and we are gonna be grading teams based on not exactly where they finished, because that would be easy to do. We're gonna be grading based on the expectations coming into the year and where they landed when the dust settled. So we'll start at the bottom. The Toronto Maple Leafs, 78 points. They had expectations of making the playoffs, and basically everything went wrong. They sucked ass, and so they are receiving a turd sandwich score. Next up, the Florida Panthers finished with 84 points. They had a boatload of injuries, the most man games missed of any team this year. They didn't really get a fair shake. They tried their best. I'm trying not to be a biased fan here, but I will say that they had a peanut butter and jelly season. There was some good parts, there was some bad parts, nothing really to write home about, and we'll see what they can do next year. The Detroit Red Wings, they were looking like a legitimate contender at one point, even leading the Atlantic Division. Things were looking good, and then the calendar turned to March, and the winged wheels fell off. And so they fell out of the playoffs and missed once again. I am going to rate them a season of saltines. Next up, the Ottawa Senators, 99 points. They did make the playoffs as the wild card two seed. I will rate them a season of Chicken Parmigiana. They had a few controversies this year. They had really rough goalie play, but they still made it in, and we'll see what they can do. The Boston Bruins, they did not seem like they would be a playoff team at all, and they found themselves in the playoffs, earning 100 points in the regular season. Pretty impressive year to be honest, and I will rate them a score of a chicken parmesan. Number three in the Atlantic Division is the Montreal Canadiens with 106 points. I am going to rate them a year of a surf and turf. They were an awesome team, exciting to watch. They got a lot of young players that have been playing really well, and we'll see what they can do in this playoffs. Next up is the Tampa Bay Lightning with 106 points as well. We all expected them to be in the playoffs, and here they are. So we will see how they fare in this year's playoffs, considering the past three times they've been in the playoffs, they lost in the first round. So can they finally get past the first round and make a legitimate run to the cup? And last but not least, in the Atlantic division, we have the Buffalo Sabres with 109 points. They were looking like a baby giraffe trying to stand up for the first time for the first half of the year, and then they fired their GM, hired a new guy, he came in and read them the Riot Act, and all of a sudden they made a 180 and they became one of the best teams in the league. Buffalo is going wild for this team, and they are excited to be back in the playoffs. They are getting a rating of a surf and turf. We will now move into the Metropolitan Division, where at the bottom we have the New York Rangers with 77 points. They had a new coach this year, added a couple new guys. They have Igor Shisterkin, who's one of the best goalies in the league, and since they were in playoffs last year, everyone thought that they would be in playoffs again, but they just decided that they are not going to score goals at home at MSG. They opted out of offense in the year 2025-2026, and for that reason they are receiving a score of a turd sandwich. Next in the Metropolitan Division is the New Jersey Devils with 87 points. They have a ton of talent, and a lot of people expected them to make the playoffs, and it seems the Devil himself has it out for Jack Hughes in the regular season because the guy just can't stay healthy. Every year it's something. This year he cut his finger on a wine glass and missed two months, which really hurt the team. He is the main engine that drives their team, and when he was out, they sucked and really underperformed. So considering where we all thought they would be and where they ended up, they are getting a rating of a turd sandwich. Next in the Metropolitan Division is the New York Islanders with ninety-one points. No one expected them to be in the mix this year, and Matthew Schaefer, their rookie defenseman, who's 18 years old and tied the record for most goals by an 18-year-old defenseman. He really lit a spark in that team and almost got them into the playoffs. I am going to rate their season a chicken parmesan for that reason. They were in the mix all year, they almost made it, and the Islanders fans have something bright to look forward to in October. Next in the Metropolitan Division, we have the Columbus Blue Jackets finishing with ninety-two points. We thought that they would be a mediocre team, and that's exactly how they ended up. They fired their coach midway through the year because they were mediocre. Then they got hot, then the Olympics happened, and they all went out to lunch, and they never came back. Because when the regulars season resumed, they decided that they weren't going to play good hockey anymore. So I am going to rate them a score of a peanut butter and jelly. Next in the Metropolitan Division, the Washington Capitals with ninety-five points. They were in the mix all year. Ultimately, not enough. They were missing Pierre-Luc Dubois for quite a while. He is their number one center. So missing him was a huge loss. And I'm going to rate them a score of a peanut butter and jelly. Up next the Philadelphia Flyers with 98 points, clinching the third spot in the Metropolitan Division. No one predicted that. They have a young team, they have a hungry team, they're inexperienced, but they're well coached by Rick Tackett, and they're pretty fun to watch. They focus on defense mostly, but they can put the puck in the back of the net a little bit. Seems like they're getting a little bit better at that lately. So I am going to rate them a chicken parmesan based on where we thought they would be and where they ended up. Number two in the Metropolitan Division is the Pittsburgh Penguins, finishing with 98 points as well, but they locked up the two seed because they had more regulation wins than the Flyers. So another team that no one expected to really make the playoffs, considering Sidney Crosby and Evgeny Malkin and Chris Letang, their main core, are all in their late thirties. I believe Evgeny Malkin is forty now. They also swapped goalies with Edmonton midway through the year to try to shore up that situation. It hasn't worked out that well because they're still giving up a lot of goals. They're scoring a lot, but they're giving up a lot. And considering their season and where we all expected them, I'm going to rate them a surf and turf. Yes, you heard that right, a surf and turf season for the old Pittsburgh Penguins back in the playoffs. Number one in the Metropolitan Division is the Carolina Hurricanes, first seed in the Eastern Conference with 113 points. They dominate at home with a record of twenty-nine, ten, and two. They have a good offense, they have a good defense, they have decent goaltending, and they are second in the league in shots on net this season, averaging over thirty-two shots per game. These guys shoot coming off the bus. And so obviously, considering they are the number one seed in the Eastern Conference, they are getting the grade of surf and turf. Alright, let's move into the central division. At the bottom, we have the Chicago Blackhawks with 72 points. No one expected them to be in the playoffs. They are in the middle of a rebuild. They're trying to acquire young talent. Sign some other key guys that can teach the young talent how to have success in the NHL. For that reason, I am going to give them a score of saltines. In seventh place, we have the Winnipeg Jets with 82 points. Last year, they were the best regular season team in the entire league. They took a major step backwards this year. They couldn't figure it out. Chemistry was off. Scoring was off, defense was a shit show. And for that reason, I am going to give them a score of turd sandwich. Number six in the central division, the Nashville Predators, with 86 points. At times they looked good, at times they looked bad. They fell short of the playoffs by a couple of points. So for that reason, I'm going to give them a score of peanut butter and jelly. In fifth place in the central, we have the St. Louis Blues with 86 points. Similar situation. Sometimes they were okay. They were rough. And then after the Olympic break, they were playing well, but it was too little, too late. And for that reason, I'm going to give them a score of saltines. In the number four spot of the central division, we have the Utah Mammoth with 92 points. We weren't really sure if they were going to make the playoffs. We thought they would be somewhere in the middle. They did better, a little bit better than everyone's expectations. And so for that reason, I'm going to give them a score of chicken parmesan. In third place in the central, we have the Minnesota Wild with 104 points. They acquired Quinn Hughes in the fall, and that really took their team to the next level. So for that, I'm going to give them a score of surf and turf. In the number two spot of the Central Division, we have the Dallas Stars with 112 points. They really looked good all year. They've been a playoff contender for a long time now. We expected them to be in. They are in. They are getting a score of surf and turf. In the number one spot, the Colorado Avalanche, winning the Central with 121 points. They were world beaters for the first half of the season. Second half of the year, they were good. They weren't amazing. I feel like they peaked a little bit too early, honestly. But considering they have the most points in the entire league this year, I am going to give them a score of surf and turf. Moving into the final division, the Pacific Division, at the bottom, we have the Vancouver Canucks with 58 points. Nobody expected them to make the playoffs this year, but also nobody expected them to be this much of a clown show doormat of the league. So for that reason, they are getting the score of turd sandwich. In the number seven spot of the Pacific is the Calgary Flames with 77 points. Once again, nobody expected them to be in. They are not in. They were far from it. And it was pretty much a turd sandwich year for them as well. In the number six spot, we have the Seattle Kraken with 79 points. They had a mediocre year up until about the end where they really hit the tank button. They were a pretty good defensive team, but they weren't that exciting overall, and for that reason, I'm going to give them a grade of Saltines. In fifth place of the Pacific, we have the San Jose Sharks, who finished with 86 points. They were exciting all year. They were in the mix all year, led by Macklin Celebrini, the 19-year-old Phenom, who almost carried the team on his back into the playoffs himself when no one expected them to be there. So I am going to give them a score of surf and turf. Yes, you heard that right. Surf and turf for the San Jose Sharks. We were expecting them to be a bottom feeder team, no pun intended, and instead they almost made the playoffs. Alright, fourth place in the Pacific goes to the LA Kings, who made the playoffs with ninety points. They were mediocre all year, they're mediocre now. I'm gonna give them a score of peanut butter and jelly. In the third place, we have the Anaheim Ducks who finished with 92 points. They were fun, they were exciting, they scored a shit ton of goals, they lent in a shit ton of goals. It was high flying for the Ducks, no pun intended, just barn burners every other night. They were fun to watch, and considering most people did not have them in the playoffs and they made the playoffs, I am going to give them a rating of surf and turf. In the number two spot of the Pacific Division, we have the Edmonton Oilers who finished with 93 points. Everyone expected them to make the playoffs with Connor McDavid and Leon Dreysidel leading the way, two of the best players in the entire league. Once again, Connor McDavid wins the Art Ross Trophy for most points. That's his sixth time winning it. He is the best player in the game right now and continues to show that night in, night out. I am going to rate the Oilers season a chicken parmesan because we expected them to be in, but we expected them to have more than 93 points. They stumbled a little bit here and there. They didn't win three games in a row for almost the entire season, which is unbelievable. But here they are in the playoffs once again, and we'll see if they can get back to the Stanley Cup final and finally lift that trophy. And in first place of the Pacific Division, we have the Vegas Golden Knights, who finished with 95 points. They were good at the beginning of the year, they were rough in the middle of the year, and towards the end, when things were really in a tailspin, they fired their coach with eight games remaining and decided to hire John Tortarella to come in and hopefully inspire the boys. And what have they done since? Oh, they've won seven games and they've lost one in overtime, and now they are in the playoffs, ready to go on a run. So I am going to rate them a chicken parmesan. We expected them to be in the playoffs, they made the playoffs, and here they are, we'll see what they can do. So that was the report card grades for every team based on their final standings placement. If you strongly agree or strongly disagree with any of the grades that I gave today, I would love to hear from you. You can reach out on Instagram, biscuit breakdown on X, Biscuit Breakdown without the O, or Gmail biscuitbreakdownpod at gmail.com. Alright, let's change it up here and get into our final segment, the NHL Round 1 playoff predictions. I talked about this on episode one a little bit about the Eastern Conference because we knew those matchups at the time. Just to recap, I am going to choose the Buffalo Sabres in seven games over the Boston Bruins. I am going to choose the Carolina Hurricanes, finishing off the Ottawa Senators in five games. I will choose the Tampa Bay Lightning to get past the Montreal Canadiens in seven games. And I am going to choose the Pittsburgh Penguins to defeat the Philadelphia Flyers in six games. Now let's move into the Western Conference side of the bracket. We have the Colorado Avalanche going against the Los Angeles Kings. Colorado Avalanche, best team in the league this year. Kings just scratched and clawed their way into the playoffs, and they are technically the 16th seed. So I am going to choose the Colorado Avalanche. They have home ice, they have a better team all around. They have the dynamic Nathan McKinnon and Kale McCarr, among many other great players. And the LA Kings don't score a lot. They are pretty good on defense, but they can't get much going offensively. I think they're going to be sucking wind in the high altitude of Colorado, pun intended. And for that reason, I am going to choose the Colorado Avalanche to get past the Los Angeles Kings in five games. Moving on into the next matchup, we have the Dallas Stars going against the Minnesota Wild. This is a really tough one. Both teams are legit. Both teams have size, they have speed, they have scoring, they have defense. It's going to be an absolute dog fight. Like I said the other night, I am going to choose the slight upset and go with the Minnesota Wild. I think they will get it done at home in game six. Next matchup, the Vegas Golden Knights hosting the Utah Mammoth. One of the best logos in the league. Utah is fun, they're fast, they're frisky, but I am sticking with the Vegas Golden Knights on this one, and I say they get it done in game seven at home in the fortress. Last matchup is the Edmonton Oilers, who will host the Anaheim Ducks. We have Connor McDavid who's on a mission to win the cup. He will not be denied in round one at least, and I think the Oilers get past Anaheim because Anaheim has never heard of the word defense, and Connor McDavid only sees green lights when he's going up against a team that doesn't know how to defend their own end of the rink. Anaheim does have Lucas Dostal, who is a better goalie than Connor Ingram for the Oilers, but I don't think Dostal is going to be enough of a difference that Anaheim will have any success, so I am going to choose the Edmonton Oilers to get past the Anaheim Ducks in six games. The Ducks are young, they're fun, they're exciting, but they don't have enough experience, they're going to be in over their head with McDavid and Bouchard and the gang firing on all cylinders, and it's going to be too much. And that's going to do it for this episode. Be sure to subscribe and please rate five stars and leave a review. You can follow us on Instagram at Biscuit Breakdown. X Biscuit Breakdown without the O. And Gmail is biscuitbreakdownpod at gmail.com. I would love to hear from a hockey fan like yourself. This has been Biscuit Breakdown. Consider yourself served.