Ben Afquack Is A Legend, Series Prediction Updates, Top Goals And Burnt Biscuits Of The Week (Show 4)

Sean is here with a piping hot episode. He discusses the following: The Flyers and the Mammoth PR teams actually know what they are doing. Ryan Smith is the best owner is sports. Ben Afquack is a legend and Sean's ideas for other punny names that other teams can do for a drum banging mascot. He reflects on his series predictions through each Game 4. How many did he get correct? Then he talks about the top three goals of the week and the three burnt biscuits. Lastly, he predicts which team will have the most goals when round one is over and which team is going to get a shutout next. It's Biscuit Breakdown! Consider yourself served!

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Transcript

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It's time for biscuit breakdown, where hockey is the only thing on the menu. And welcome back, everybody, whoever you are, wherever you are, whenever it is, it's hockey time. I'm your host, Sean. Thank you for tuning in to Biscuit Breakdown. If you could follow the show, rate five stars, and write a review, I would really appreciate it. You can follow me on Instagram at Biscuit Breakdown, Twitter, Biscuit Breakdown without the O, or send me an email, biscuitbreakdownpod at gmail.com. I would love to hear from a hockey fan like you and send this podcast to a hockey friend in need. We all have some friends out there and we need to get them into the game of hockey if they aren't already. Because there has been a ton of things that have happened since last recording, and we're going to talk about a bunch of it here today. Starting with the fresh out the oven segment. It was reported that the opening weekend of the NHL playoffs this year was the highest rated opening weekend ever for the NHL. So, like I've been saying, the game is crazy. It's never been better, and it's never been a better time to jump in. If you are not a hockey fan, you can start watching whatever night this is and really jump on a team's bandwagon and enjoy all that there is happening here in the NHL playoffs because every night is insane. And if it ever gets to be a bit too much, you can just take a page out of Martin St. Louis' book. He is the coach of the Montreal Canadiens, and the other night during his post-game press conference, one of the reporters asked him, How does he calm down during the NHL playoffs? And he laughed for a second, and he said, You know, I watched some Seinfeld at night. So if you've never seen Seinfeld, you need to go check that show out because it is a classic comedy sitcom. It never gets old. And I've seen probably every episode, well, I've seen every episode, but I've seen every episode at least four times, I would say. Um matter what episode I'm watching, it's funny no matter how many times I've seen it. So if you haven't seen Seinfeld, definitely check it out. It's worth a watch, and there's so many quotable lines and scenarios that you could just watch it over and over, and it's a nice relaxing show to uh really just take your mind off of all the chaos that's going on in the NHL. Alright, next topic for Fresh Out the Oven is the Philadelphia Flyers PR team. This is a PR team that just gets it. The team is playing great. Currently at time of recording, they're up three games to two on the Pittsburgh Penguins, but before game four the other night, they had their mascot Gritty, who is this orange, fuzzy looking Sesame Street reject appear from the stairway of section one hundred something, and he's got a dummy of a Pittsburgh penguin, and he's got it two hands over his head, and then he just chucks this dummy down the staircase, the crowd is going nuts, everyone's loving it, everyone's fired up. They have shirts on the back of everyone's seat that say puck everybody with the Philadelphia Flyers logo as the P in the word puck. So they're just doing everything right from a PR standpoint to get the fans fired up. And unlike the Vegas Golden Knights, who had the horrible Markstone towels for game one, ironically, the Flyers did lose game four, and the Penguins staved off elimination and forced a game five back in Pittsburgh, which they also won. So now at time of recording, the series is three to two Philadelphia heading back to Philadelphia for Game 6. So we'll see what happens there. We'll see if Sidney Crosby can pull off an amazing feat and get it to Game 7 and then potentially win Game 7 for an epic Philadelphia collapse, but only time will tell. Alright, heading out to Utah. The owner of the Utah Mammoth, Ryan Smith, he seems to be the coolest guy in the history of cool guy owners. This guy also just gets it. The other day he tweeted out if anyone is living in Utah and would like to become a Mammoth fan, you can bring your Vegas Golden Knights jersey to the arena and trade it in for free, and we will give you a brand new Utah Mammoth jersey. I mean, all-time cool guy owner move. The guy's a billionaire, he doesn't care. Um, he just wants to stir up some new fans, and he's doing a great job, to be quite honest. He also has been choosing eight Utah Mammoth fans to join him in his suite for the game. He did that for game three and game four, and basically, if you have a shitty owner for your sports team, you're gonna want Ryan Smith to come in and buy your team. He owns the Utah Mammoth and the Utah Jazz, the NBA team, and he is the owner and founder of Qualtrics, which is some kind of like computer nerdy database survey company or something like that, from what I can remember. Um I heard him uh interview on a podcast one time. Seems like an awesome guy, and he's doing everything right so far for the Utah Mammoth fans. They had over 1,000 people show up that day to hand in their Vegas Golden Knights jersey and officially become a Utah Mammoth fan. Because back before the Utah Mammoth were there, two years ago, three years ago, Utah didn't have a hockey team, so there was a bunch of people in Utah that latched on to the Vegas Golden Knights because it was regionally close. Now that Utah has their own team, they're trading in their jerseys and they're hopping on the big back of that woolly mammoth. And we're talking big back in a good way. That big old, hairy, fuzzy, strong, thick back. Ryan Smith also created or at least funded the Utah Mammoth's ability to create the Zamoth, which is a woolly mammoth themed Zamboni that about ten fans can ride in the middle of out on the ice during the intermissions, and it's epic looking, it gets the crowd pumped up, and it's another fun thing for people to do or see when they come to a game. Nowadays people want entertainment, they're spending their hard-earned money, and they need to be entertained with a good product on the ice, fun things to do while they're at the game, in between periods, after, before, fun food, drinks, whatever. It's a full experience. Ryan Smith is crushing it. Also, shout out to these teams like the Utah Mammoth and the Ottawa Senators and the Montreal Canadians for hooking up their wives and girlfriends with just sick embroidered jackets. The NHL account posted some of these pictures, and they're getting their name embroidered with the number and the initials of their husband or boyfriend, and the jackets look absolutely sick, so kudos to them for hooking up the ladies as well. Alright, last topic in the Fresh Out the Oven segment is Ben Afquack. Yes, you heard that right. Ben Afquack. He is one of the mascots for the Anaheim Ducks. So if you've ever watched an NHL hockey game on TV or in person, you know that most arenas will have someone bang the drum, and that is to get the crowd fired up and pumped up right before puck drop. Usually they will have someone that uh either works for the team or a local celebrity or a former player, but sometimes the Anaheim ducks will have Ben Afquack, a white duck, bang the drum for them, and someone will basically hold Ben Afquack above the drum, and then he will basically paddle his feet on the drum, his orange feet just banging away on the drum, the crowd's loving it, everyone's getting pumped, and I thought it was pretty awesome, honestly. I mean they gave him a punny name, Ben Afquack. So it got me thinking and brainstorming and trying to use my creative abilities to come up with some other punny names that the other teams could use to bang the drum. So here's what I came up with. Alright, for the Pittsburgh Penguins we have Penguin Stefani. Just a penguin with maybe a yellow wig on, just banging away on the drum with their flipper. Maybe singing the national anthem, because it's Penguin Stefani. For the Buffalo Sabres, we have Sabreham drinking. Just some hammered guy or woman banging the drum, going crazy. I mean that's not hard for Buffalo to do at all. For the Carolina Hurricanes, we have Stormy as their mascot. It is actually a pig. So what if they had a pig named Stormy Jenner? The Ottawa Senators mascot is actually a lion, and his name is Sparta Cat, but I think his name should be switched to Farda Cat because they completely shit the bed against the Carolina Hurricanes. Okay, the Los Angeles Kings mascot is actually a lion as well. His name is Bailey, but maybe they could have a real lion in a cage somewhere in the arena, and his name could be Bailey Harvey Oswald. Just a caged lion that they can't trust for obvious reasons. And last but not least, the Utah Mammoths mascot. His name is Tuskey. So I was thinking about what about Tuskegin Michael Key or Tuskenin Thompson? Then again, I don't know how that would exactly work because we have yet to successfully clone a mammoth. We don't have any mammoths to pull from these days. Maybe one day. I believe they did find some mammoth DNA in the Russian permafrost a few years ago, some fur or something like that. So maybe one day we'll get a clone and we can get Tuskegin Michael Key or Tuskegin Thompson, whichever direction they feel like going. Alright, we're gonna move into a new segment that I'm calling the hats off segment. This week the hats off segment goes to Anja Kopatar. He was the captain of the Los Angeles Kings. He's retiring after a 20-year career. He's one of those players that you know for sure is gonna be in the Hall of Fame one day. He is a two-time Stanley Cup champion, a three-time Lady Bing Award winner for fewest penalty minutes. He's a two-time Selkie trophy winner for best defensive forward. He won the Marc Messier Leadership Award in 2022. He played 1,521 games, which is the most in King's history, and he scored 1,316 points, which is also the most in King's history. So shout out to Anj Kopitar. It was fun to watch him, and best of luck in retirement. Alright, changing it up again here after a short shift. We're gonna move on into the goals of the week. The top three goals of the week since last recording, ranked in order from three to one. In the number three spot, we have Connor Dewar of the Pittsburgh Penguins with an absolutely sick tap cheddar biscuit over the right shoulder of Flyers goalie Dan Vladar. In fact, it was in and out of the net so quick the ref called it no goal on the ice. He thought it hit the crossbar. It was in and out quicker than you can say. Gritty, but nonetheless, it counts and it helped the Penguins win the game and extend the series, pushing it back to Philadelphia for game six tomorrow night at time of recording. Alright, in the number two spot we have Kale McCar, the defenseman for the Colorado Avalanche. This guy is widely regarded as the best defenseman in the league. He's definitely in the top three, I would say. Also, you have Quinn Hughes up there. Probably could also debate between Zach Werensky of the Blue Jackets for Columbus or Evan Bouchard of the Edmonton Oilers as that third best defenseman in the league. Um just epic stuff from those guys night in and night out. But the number two spot goes to Kale McCarr for the snipe that he had during game three against the Los Angeles Kings. He gets the pass from his defensive partner, Devin Taves. Shout out Quinna Piac. And Kale McCarr walks the blue line, tap dances across the top of the zone like a performer on Broadway, and Alex LaFerrier of the Los Angeles Kings is trying to keep up with him. He's poking out his stick like a weak attempt of a blind man trying to find his way through a shopping mall. And Kale fires it through traffic to the left top corner of the net to put Colorado ahead in the game, and it helped them win game three, and ultimately they went on to sweep the Kings in just four games. Moving on to the number one goal of the week, we are awarding Lane Hudson of the Montreal Canadiens. He's a defenseman. I believe he's 20 or 21 years old. He literally looks like he's fourteen. He's got absolutely no facial hair. The guy's out there making nine million dollars, just totally dominating the league. Doesn't even look like he has a driver's license. But anyway, the other night in game three, overtime against the Tampa Bay Lightning, Lane gets the puck after a simple pass from Alex Texier out of the corner. Lane catches the pass, he takes about two strides inwards, and then just completely tease off like your buddy who plays golf and actually knows what he's doing. And this slap shot went right above Andre Vasilevsky's right shoulder, just to the top of the left corner, a thing of beauty, a total top cheddar biscuit, and we love to see it. If you want to check out these goals or some of the other goals that are happening around the league, head over to the NHL.com or NHL app, and you can watch the daily video of all the goals from the night before, and you can get in on the action and really enjoy these buttery biscuits. There's nothing better than watching the sickest hockey players do what they do and fire the puck in the net. Alright, let's change it up and move into the Who Burnt the Biscuit segment. Unfortunately, we have three people that burnt the biscuit. There's burnt biscuits everywhere right now. The first one being the Sens guy fan, Kyle Ivan. Basically, he is an Ottawa Senators Super fan, and before game one, he came out with a rap video. It was a remix of the MM song, basically switching up the words and making it Ottawa Senators themes, and it was completely cringe worthy. Horrible video, horrible song, and that proved to be ominous for the Ottawa Senators who did not even win one playoff game as a result of that video. And basically, when they lost game one and two in Carolina, they then sent him. Not sure if they paid for his trip, but they basically told him to not come near the Ottawa Senators arena, Canadian Tire Center. They sent him to Taiwan. And then he made a video from Taiwan saying, no, it's not AI. I'm actually in Taiwan. I wanted to get as far away from Canadian Tire Center as possible to try to not affect their play on the ice for game three and four. So this man literally went to Asia to hopefully reverse the sins of that video, and it did not work. So after the Carolina Hurricanes won the series, they responded to that tweet, whoever's in charge of that account, with an all-time zinger, they responded with You should have sent them to the moon. So that was awesome. That got a lot of likes, obviously. And Carolina has the last laugh in more ways than one. Our next burnt biscuit goes out to Rasmus Anderson of the Vegas Golden Knights. Back in game two, he kicked the puck into his own net, giving the Utah Mammoth the ability to tie the game at one, and then they ended up losing that night. So the series was then tied one to one. And obviously, kicking the puck into your own net was a big reason why they lost. Because they only lost by one goal that night, three to two. So Rasmus, I'm afraid, you burnt it. And our third burnt biscuit of the week goes to Dan Vladar, the goalie for the Philadelphia Flyers. Last night at time of recording in game five against the Pittsburgh Penguins. Dan O'Dan had an ultimate blunder. The puck was coming towards him, he missed catching it, it hits off of the back boards behind him, then it hits him in the back of the leg and banks into the net. An ugly, ugly, disgusting way to let in a goal at the professional level. Dan, what are you doing? That goal made the game three to two at the time, and it was the ultimate game winner for the Penguins, which helped them force game six. So Dan, I'm afraid ya burnt it. Okay, changing it up for one final shift, we have the doggy bag predictions. Last show I predicted where I thought every series would be after game four, and now that every series has had game four, we're here to review the tape and see the results of how correct or incorrect I was. So I said that Carolina would be up three games to one. When actually they won in four games, it was a sweep. So I was pretty close. Up next, I predicted that the Boston and Buffalo series would be tied at two apiece when actually Buffalo is in the lead three games to one at time of recording. I predicted that the Philadelphia Flyers would be up three games to one. I also was correct in saying that the Tampa Bay and Montreal series would be tied two to two. So I was two for four on the Eastern Conference playoff series predictions through game four. Now we'll move into the Western Conference where I did worse. I predicted that the Avalanche would be leading three games to one after four games when actually they swept the Kings four to zero. I predicted that the Vegas Golden Knights would be leading three games to one, when really the series is now tied two games to two at time of recording. I predicted the Edmonton Oilers would be up three games to one on the Anaheim Ducks, when really the Ducks are quacking all over those Oilers. And they are leading three games to one. Normally ducks don't do well against Oil, but so far so good for the Anaheim squad. That was the series that I was most incorrect about so far. And I predicted the Minnesota Wild and Dallas Stars would be tied at two games apiece after Game 4, and I was correct. Considering that I've already made my series predictions, and I am two for eight so far, I got the Canes correct, I got the Avalanche correct, and we're still waiting for the other series to finish in the first round. I am going to predict which team I think will have the most goals scored in the first round, and which team will post the next shutout in the first round, if any. So the Anaheim Ducks are currently leading the playoffs with 20 goals scored, and in third place we have three teams with 15 goals scored. It is the Buffalo Sabres, Colorado Avalanche, and Edmonton Oilers at time of recording. I'm going to make a lame pick here, and I'm going to say that the Anaheim Ducks will finish the first round with the most goals scored. I'm going to say that they finished the first round with 29 goals scored. That's nine more from where they are right now, because I feel like Edmonton will win game five at home, force a game six. I feel like Edmonton will win game six, and then game seven, you never know what could happen. I think the Ducks will get nine goals along the way. Because the Oilers defense is more slippery than black ice. And lastly, the team that I think will post the next shutout in the playoffs will be the Utah Mammoth in game six at home against the Vegas Golden Knights. Carell Vejmelka, their goalie, has been playing pretty well lately. And I know this might be an ice cold take, but I think Utah will somehow, some way, shut out the Vegas Golden Knights at home in game six. Those are your doggy bag predictions for this episode. Thank you for tuning in to Biscuit Breakdown. I'm your host Sean. Once again, be sure to follow wherever you get your podcasts. Please rate five stars and give a review. I would really appreciate it. You can follow me on Instagram, Biscuit Breakdown, Twitter, Biscuit Breakdown without the O, or send me an email, biscuitbreakdown pod at gmail.com. This has been Biscuit Breakdown. Consider yourself served.