From Trauma to Triumph: Casey Calhoun's Inspiring Bodybuilding Journey

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🎓 ABOUT THIS VIDEO 
Discover how Casey Calhoun, a first-year NPC figure competitor who qualified nationally in her debut, leverages resilience, self-coaching, and strategic health management to excel in bodybuilding while managing health conditions. Her story exemplifies determination, independence, and setting high standards before stepping onto the stage.

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🧠 TIMESTAMPS 
00:00 - Casey's mindset: resilience and discipline in the face of pain

00:17 - Introducing Casey Calhoun: first-year competitor with rapid success

00:46 - Casey's background: sports, fighting, and bodybuilding ignition

01:46 - How bodybuilding provided a safe outlet and transformed her identity

02:12 - Bodybuilding's role in overcoming trauma and building strength

03:08 - Her unconventional start: booking a show after just 8 weeks of training

04:42 - Self-coaching as a core strength and managing competition solo

05:52 - The surprise of competing without a coach and mixing routines on stage

06:51 - Recognizing high pattern recognition and autism aiding her prep process

07:19 - Confidence in learning and perfecting posing routines herself

08:16 - Backstage and focusing fully on her participation without distractions

09:23 - The athlete-coach relationship: praising effort, owning accountability

10:05 - The significance of external validation in her prep with Jeremy DeSantis

11:55 - Managing peak week obsessiveness and mental health during prep

12:49 - The importance of objective feedback and blood work for health and progress

13:38 - Injuries and physical challenges: managing pain and training around limitations

14:45 - Living with health conditions: mental toughness and daily routines

16:58 - The value of staying busy and active despite health issues

17:17 - Handling injuries, recovery, and the benefits of adapted training

18:13 - Body awareness and trust in her physical signals

18:38 - Reflection on her stage performance and lessons learned

19:52 - The role of faith and prayer on competition day

21:12 - Her cautious approach to drug use and future enhancements

22:07 - Strategic use of peptides and blood work for growth and recovery

23:31 - Blood work, supplement control, and realistic drug cycles

24:54 - The importance of personalized supplement stacks and blood implications

26:28 - Building muscle expectations versus reality; lessons from national qualification

27:09 - The process of bulking, cutting, and understanding her body's responses

28:34 - Waiting for her optimal moment to compete again and trusting her coach

30:32 - Prioritizing legs over upper body during injury recovery and gaining proportion

33:29 - How injuries shifted her training focus positively

34:14 - Her future aspirations: winning nationals, turning pro, and long-term life goals

37:13 - Building a life that supports her ambitions and her husband's well-being

39:43 - Final thoughts: authenticity, perseverance, and inspiring others to just start

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I just have this mind state that like I will not be weak and I will not let pain dictate me and I will not let things that are happening physically control my mind. And so I'm able to displace those things and carry on because life has to go on. Things need to be done. And I can sit and complain and cry and give excuses of why I'm not getting things done or why I don't want to do it. But at the end of the day, I have to get it done because the only person that's responsible for, you know, myself is me.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

Welcome to another episode of the Opticast with me, Nathan, your host, where today we're sitting down with a first-year competitor who got nationally qualified at her very first show. She coached herself in every single area of the sport. And somehow she does all of it while managing health conditions that would put most people to quit before they even started. We're getting into her story, what's driven her, and the real cost of competing at this level and where she's heading next. My guest today is Casey Calhoun. She's an NPC figure competitor out of Michigan who, in less than one year of being in the sport, has already done what most competitors spend years trying to accomplish. She walked into the gym in December, booked her first show eight weeks later, competed in both bikini and figured with zero coaching, and walked out nationally qualified in figure. And since then, she's added a second show. She continued to build her package, picked up a few uh her first sponsorship on there as well, and uh has her sight set firmly on women's physique and eventually going pro. On top of competing, she's NASA certified and a personal trainer, bodybuilding coach, and a nutritionist. Meaning she's not just doing this, she understands it at a level that most people don't. She's one of those rare people who came into the sport and immediately knew exactly where she was supposed to be. And I'm super excited for this conversation. Casey, welcome to the show. Awesome. So, Casey, uh, you you grew up hunting, you grew up fishing, you play in so-called boy sports, you've been fighting since you were five years old. And then somewhere in your fees, you walked into a gym and you got obsessed with it within weeks. And I don't think that's a coincidence looking at your history. Who were you before bodybuilding found you? And uh, do you think that it actually changed who you are, or it just gave you an outlet for you to be able to put that area of who you were in?

SPEAKER_01 2:15

I would say both. I mean, when I got into bodybuilding, I had experienced trauma in my life where bodybuilding was a great outlet for me. And honestly, I had this perspective of wanting to be strong, to build myself in a certain way that I would be intimidating, you know, and that's just plain and simple. Like I didn't want to look weak. I don't want to be looked like I can take advantage of. And I wanted to come out of the gym looking different. Like I was very small and frail at the time. And, you know, I was 110 pounds. I had no muscle on me. And I'm like, I can't, I can't live like this. I can't be like this. I started feeling really insecure. I had lost a lot of weight to begin with to get to that size. And I'm like, something's not working here. I gotta find something that I'm passionate about. And losing the weight and doing cardio just wasn't enough for me. I wanted something where I was pushing myself to my limits. And, you know, I was a drug addict, alcoholic. And finding that outlet in the gym made me be who I am today. I identify myself as a bodybuilder who is passionate and I live it as a lifestyle. Where before I was constantly looking for outlets in areas that were no good for me. This is one of the first things that I did in my life that was for me, nobody got anything else out of it. It's strictly something I do, but only I get in what I put in it. And nobody can take that from me. And anything else anybody doesn't like. Really, unless it's fitness, somebody can take what you have. Nobody can take your physique from you. And that is where I found solace in it. Knowing that I have complete control over myself, my body, what goes in, what comes out, and nobody can impact that other than me.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

I love that. I love that so much. I I actually, my story is not as similar as yours, but like, man, I fell in love with training and with bodybuilding when I was in rehab for drug addiction. Yeah. So like it just, it just became the perfect substitution of like, where am I gonna pour all of my unresolved issues and also where am I gonna go to like let my thoughts fall into where they should fall? Um, and then just like with regards to addiction, right? It has to be a substitution. A lot of people think like, oh, I'm just gonna stop. It was like, nope, you're gonna fail every single fucking time. You have to substitute it with something else. And I think bodybuilding is is absolutely great, but I want to get a little bit more into your your brain, how your brain works, because you were you are eight weeks into the gym, and then you booked a show four months out, no coach, you've never even seen a local a local show, and you didn't even know which side of the stage you're gonna walk from. Most people and they would rightly say that's crazy. What was going on in your head that made it go like, oh no, that's the obvious right answer here. That's the choice I need to go for.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

That's another thing is, you know, a lot of bodybuilders, when they have coaches, and which, you know, I have a coach now because I really was focused on my posing this year and took it a little bit more serious and wanted that help. But again, it was nobody is taking the glory from me. Nobody is getting a slap on the back for something I did. Nobody's taking any accountability for it but me. You know, when you're going there with a coach, people tend to say, oh, your coach did such a good job. Oh, your coach is so talented. Oh, your coach pulled it off. Like, no, I came and I pulled it off myself. I had no idea that there was two different routines. I didn't know I was gonna go on stage two different times and do a presentation pose. I had no idea really what to expect. I was just watching around and looking, and I just look confident. I'm like, if I look like I know what I'm doing, I'm gonna be fine. I mixed my bikini routine and my figure routine together. Like, and I walked off stage, put my hand up, and I had to go back to the center line and still came out second. And like, that's what's crazy to me is I looked like I meant to do it. And so because I did it, I even ended up doing it again at the pre or at the late night show, the same exact mistake. And I'm like, you know what? I looked like I knew what I was doing. I don't think anybody caught it. Looked like I just mixed up the routine a little bit or threw something extra in there, an extra transition. But I mean, my head was like, I'm just gonna go in here and I'm gonna have fun. Like I enjoyed the process of doing it, and it was a me versus me type thing. And I was humble. I didn't care if I won. I didn't care if I lost. I really didn't. I was happy to be there and participating. I was happy to come in second. I didn't picture it, didn't imagine it. So I was just grateful to do that in general. And, you know, I didn't know what to expect, but after my first show, and I realized how capable I was by really, I have really high pattern recognition. So I'm able to watch people do things and recreate it and memorize it. So simply watching like the girl ahead of me go on stage, I was like, okay, I gotta do this and just knew right then and there how to recreate it. I have high functioning autism, and so that is another thing is I get very obsessed. Oh, yeah, very detailed oriented. Yeah. So it it helps me specialize in these things. And I mean, I'm very intelligent. So, you know, the high functioning part, people think, well, she's really different or she's really weird. But a lot of it is that, you know, I think way differently than most people, and I see things that other people don't. So why other people don't know how to position themselves? I'm paying attention to everybody's body position, the way that they're moving, and I'm like, that's what I gotta do. Most people, I think, are not able to look at something and try to match it. And I mean, I spent every day looking at videos and just redoing it. That's how I learned my posing for my first two shows. And, you know, I felt more confident doing it myself because I was worried, honestly, I have trust issues. And I thought, I don't know if I can trust somebody, man. I feel like I might be like sabotaged or, you know, it's not gonna be right for me, or I'll disagree with them and I might, you know, be rude to them because I don't like the advice they're giving me. So I just felt like doing it all myself was the best way to go until I built up enough, I think, trust for other people to then involve like a coach or get more involved in the industry. Because like my first show, I didn't talk to any girls. I left backstage, put my headphones on, and went in the crowd and watched the show until it was my time to get on stage. Like I did not sit there and go talk to other people. I just I was happy to be there. I wanted to watch everybody else go on stage.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Yeah, yeah, that's amazing. I I that man, so many things that you talked about that we could go off of. Like one of them being the the the the coaching aspect of it on, you know, just people who credit the coaches and obviously they're the coaches did their job, but at the same time, like the way that I explain to people is I am the GPS, I am the co-pilot. I'm telling you where to go, where to turn. You're driving this shit. So you can take us to all the way to a completely different place. It's all on you. Whether you're gonna get there or not, it's a hundred percent on you. Now, if you do a hundred percent and we don't nail it, that's the coach's fault. But in my opinion, it should be the coach's fault and the athlete's prize. So, you know, you you would praise the athlete, and if there's something that went wrong, it's the coach's fault, so to speak, right? Like, which is not which is not entirely fair. But I don't I don't think it's about um a matter of being fair. I think it's just about recognizing like who the athletes are, right? Like when you no one says, oh, Cristiano Ronaldo has such a great coach. No, he's Cristiano fucking Ronaldo. There's a there's a difference there, and we should we should have that with in within bodybuilding as well. And I like you you are certified and you're so you're self-coached in everything, right? Like training, nutrition, posing, and you you placed pretty well doing it. But you also said on an interview that like when you get very close to the show, you start hyper focusing and you start losing sight of the bigger picture. So now that you are coached, what's like where do you feel that self-coaching has been like the best decision that you've made? And where do you feel like, okay, self-coaching was actually very difficult when it cost me a lot in terms of this?

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Yeah. So I noticed now that I am being coached. And at first, you know, I went to Jeremy DeSantis for just posing. And, you know, I started talking to him because the last time that I was in prep, I was like stage ready, like eight weeks out. Like I was already pretty lean and like looked like pretty ready for like bikini. Maybe not figure. I didn't have the legs at that point, but I thought that I looked like pretty ready. I was really low body fat. And then I ended up kind of like dieting too much, where I put on a little bit of weight right before the show and kind of fell off. And I dieted myself too hard because of the body dysmorphia. And that was a problem where I didn't always know what I was looking at, where having a coach that checks in with me and tells me what he's seen just validates my work. And that's the biggest thing. It's not that I need somebody to tell me how to eat. I don't need somebody to tell me, you know, when to work out or what workouts I need to do. I'm very knowledgeable in that. But the thing is, is closer to those competitions, as soon as I get around 15% body fat, I don't see myself getting any smaller. So then I start thinking I'm losing all my muscle mass and getting in my head. And having him to be like, no, you're good. You're on track. Like you're good, you're you're looking great, everything's on track. That is like a godsend because for me, I would obsessively push the limits where I probably did not have to. And that probably set me back a lot. Like, I mean, peak week, I ran five miles like that week. And I would never do that now, knowing what I know now, but I was so worried about getting like the water retention out and looking stage lean and drying myself out that I was like doing such obsessive cardio. And like I know that I was I was killing myself. And not that because I wasn't fueling or doing this, it was like I was just so worried that I was not low enough body fat that that week I'm like struggling, trying to do whatever. And, you know, now having somebody say, like, you're good, like have a refeed. I would have never given myself a refeed through any of my preps because I'm like, I have to be on prep. I can't get away from my plan. And the fact that like I've been told, like, oh, you can eat an extra thousand calories today. Like, and not just that, but I'm at 1500 calories and been at that. And Jeremy isn't gonna lower it at all. Where like before my first prep, it was like I dipped down to like 800 calories like the last week of prep, and then like carbloed and ate like 2,000 calories the night before. And I'm like, now that I know what I know now, I know I don't have to be so extreme. And I think that was just the biggest value is having somebody to tell me what I'm looking at when I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at anymore.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

Yeah, yeah. And I I I I I I'm scared I'm currently self-coached as well, but I do meet with people very often in like consults and things like that to like bounce ideas off of and like get, you know, feedback on on what I'm doing and things like that. But when it comes to show, like I want to get someone that's gonna get me from a off-season all the way to contest prep just because I like I talk a lot about self-coaching and coaching here, but you can't really be objective with yourself because you're trapped within your own subjective way of thinking, and you cannot remove the emotional component of every decision you make. So it's a very, very risky thing to do to like decide to go on stage when you're doing this because like you always think you could be more appealed. Like, that's the feedback that I see from most people who self-coached. It's like I was I ended up looking a little bit stringy, I was too diced, it wasn't my best look, and that's like that's what a coach is doing. They are impartial and they are giving you your best look on stage, not the most shredded, because the most shredded doesn't necessarily win shows, right? But you you you also talk about um a few other like health issues, like two hours just sick every morning before you train, like four baths a day to manage your bag. And then you also talk about like these four-hour drives to go to these posing clinics. Like you don't talk about this stuff much, but like what does a normal week actually feel like in your body? And how have you figured out how far you can push before you are just digging a hole?

SPEAKER_01 14:18

I've never found that limit yet of where I think, oh, I need to stop. I will take breaks and like if I'm like in a lot of pain, I'll dip down on my training. But like, to be honest, I just have this mind state that like I will not be weak and I will not let pain dictate me, and I will not let things that are happening physically control my mind. And so I'm able to displace those things and carry on because life has to go on. Things need to be done. And I can sit and complain and cry and give excuses of why I'm not getting things done or why I don't want to do it. But at the end of the day, I have to get it done because the only person that's responsible for, you know, myself is me. And so at the end of the day, regardless of if I'm sick or if I don't feel well, I mean, two weeks ago I was sick. I was training her. She told me, Casey, you don't have to come in. And I'm like, no, I'm going in. I slept in my office on the floor for three hours as I puked in the bathroom and was running back and forth and still put her through her workout because I'm the type of person I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get it done because that is how I am. I'm not gonna let the things that happen to me or how I feel dictate the effort that I put into things. I see too many people let the circumstances that they're in dictate the effort that they put into things. And you can't equate what you go through with the effort that you're willing to put into things. Because if we let our circumstances dictate us, we will never be successful. And so I just have the mind state of if I need to take a break, I'll go to my office and I'll lay down. If I have to go to the bathroom, I will. I have showers here. So, you know, if I can't go home and take a bath, I sit in the shower here on the shower floor, put that hot water on, sit in the sauna. I take breaks when I need to. But I'm also not gonna not come to work or not get stuff done and let other people down. Not because I don't think I'm deserving of a break, just because I'm not the type of person to put stuff on hold, because then that means tomorrow is just more for me. So I've just learned to live with these conditions and make the best of it, you know, especially when you feel sick every day, when you're in pain every day. Honestly, I'm really used to it. And so I wear, you know, a smile on my face as I walk around, even if I don't feel well, because what? What's gonna change? In my head, I might not feel well, but at the same time, it can't stop me from reaching my goals because what? Then I'm not gonna get to my competition. I'm not gonna be shredded, I'm not gonna lift. And if I go two or three days with being like, oh, I don't feel well, and you know, sitting in that sorrow or letting my health issues get to me, nine times out of 10, it's worse when I go back training. I'm in more pain. If I stop moving, that is when I feel it. So if I keep busy, I'm good. And that's you know, where I have the best quality of life is keeping my mind busy to not focus on the other things.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Yeah, yeah. And that what you mentioned is so important. We recorded an episode on uh injuries, and not stopping is the biggest hack to recover as fast as possible because you want blood flow in that area. So I I hurt my knee last week. I'm not entirely sure how, but I can't even do a leg extension with like 20 pounds. It's really, really hurting. So I today at the gym, I was like, fuck, I I'm I'm just gonna go home. And I'm like, fuck that, I'm not gonna go home. I'm gonna figure out I'm gonna try every single foot position and every machine in this fucking gym until I find something that the pain is bearable, and then I'm gonna do fucking 50 reps on that with as many sets as it takes until I'm done. And that's what I did. And uh at the end of it, I didn't have any pain. The pain was still the same, but I have a massive pump, so I made some progress, you know, which is exactly which is good, but I I feel like a lot of people they tend to just get kind of scared whenever there is an injury or something that's going on in their bodies, and I think that's just boils down to you not trusting your own body and also not understanding it very well. But you do seek to understand your body very, very well. And uh, you know, what for the audience here, autistic people in general are very, very introspective, they're constantly ruminating thoughts all day long, and they're very sensitive to their inputs that their body is getting. So, like you are very aware of what's actually going on with your body, yeah, appropriate and genetically. And you you got nationally qualified on your first show, which almost never happens. What I'm curious about though is the stuff that didn't go right that day, right? The stuff that the scorecard maybe didn't capture, you didn't see it. Like, what did you see in yourself on that stage that told you, like, I'm not like uh I'm I don't know, I'm not like I don't know, I don't love it, you know?

SPEAKER_01 18:38

Yeah. Well, looking back now, like now that I know how to pose and do a little more, and I look at my first video, I was like walking like a robot, like racing to the center line. And I look at it now and I'm like, wow, what was I doing? I was like skipping, jumping, rope getting to that line. I'm like, why was I going so fast? And I was like doing this and like throwing my hair and being so fast. And I'm like, what were you doing? But in the moment, I didn't think I was doing any of that. I thought I looked so smooth and so casual up there and so collected. But now I'm like, wow, you look like shit. I'm like, you were all over the place. But I mean, I was happy and I had fun. But looking back at it, like when I walked off stage, because I had to get out of my figure to go into my bikini suit and change twice, you know, to get out of those suits. So I didn't tape either suit. My bikini, when I walked off stage, broke off. And so literally, like, I was so lucky because I would have been on stage naked. Literally, the the hook on the bikini strap on one side, the crystals on it had like three straps and it just completely broke off. And I'm like, wow. And it was right when I got off stage and I was able to run to the bathroom. But like the minute I walked off stage, it snapped off. And I was so lucky because that could have happened at my first show too, and that would have been all over. So, like, God was on my side that day. And I'll be honest, I prayed, I brought my Bible, I listened to worship music, I prayed over every person that walked on stage. And the thing that I kept saying in my head was like, God, just let whoever put in the most effort win this show. Like for every division, whoever deserves it, I want that person to win. And then I asked for protection for everybody because I know people are taking diuretics, laxatives, taking stuff that's drying them out. I'm like, make sure nobody passes out on stage. And so I was just like raying the whole time I was there because everybody's angst, everybody's mad, everybody's being mean, everybody's stressed out backstage. And I'm just like, everybody, just calm down, like peace be with you. And then some guy got the wrong trophy. He took his medal off, threw it in the air, started cussing people out. Then I thought that I placed like fourth or something. I went to that line and they like made a switch and took the medal off of the girl and gave it to me. They was a little bit disorganized, but like there were two people that were pretty embarrassed because they got trophies taken from them and handed to other people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

Crazy. It's wild. It's wild. Um, switching switching the topic here a little bit to talk about the stuff that people love to talk about, the stuff that actually gets uh views on YouTube. So you you've been very open about this, about wanting to start your compounds once you hit a one your year mark, right? You you know, going through a doctor, getting your blood work done properly, all the stuff that you should be doing. And a lot of people in your position, they just jump in straight, like headfirst. What actually made you slow down on that? And what do you think needs to be true about where your body actually is before it actually works the way you want to with drugs?

SPEAKER_01 21:39

Yeah. So I wanted to wait because, like, it's a known fact that in the first year that you're lifting, you're getting beginner gains and there's no need for enhancements. And until you really tap out your body's capacity, I don't believe that there is a need for enhancements. However, once I reached a year and I was coming into this. Competition, like I'm going for blood this time, baby. Like, I want first place. I don't need second place again. I'm coming for blood. So I just had this mind state like, I want to take care of myself. I'm going to get myself right. You know, at the 18-month mark of me training, I ended up getting on peptides and starting impomorin and like BC 500, or I think that's what it's called for recovery. And, you know, I've been using that for like eight weeks now. I started it during prep because I knew that while I was taking like 40 pounds off in prep, it was going to help preserve muscle, give me more energy. I read about all this stuff, started getting blood work through rhythm, which they're great. And then I have Jeremy look at my blood work. And then, you know, really the decision just came of I take this seriously. And who brings a Honda to a NASCAR race? And that's how I look at it. You know, I'm trying to be in this profession and do this for a living. Like I own a gym. This is my life. This is all that I do. And I'm not here to mess around. I agree that a lot of people can take the natural route, but I'm in figure and I want to move to physique. And so where my goals set, you know, I think the 18th month mark of me training was a good time to start the enhancements because I've put on a lot of muscle mass, but I also was cutting. And I wanted to make sure I wasn't tapping into that muscle production and preserving the muscle that I have while I'm in this diet. And, you know, I've gotten really good results. Like my energy levels are great. My strength has not dipped down like significantly through prep like it did the last times. And I feel good. I don't notice side effects. I really don't. I haven't noticed anything negative. And I feel better than ever. I don't think that people have such a warped perception about steroids and peptides. They think, oh, bodybuilders are, they just use drugs all the time. They're just always taking steroids. It's just every day. And it's not. Like you go through cycles, you're not taking something year-round and you use it strategically. You don't use something for, you know, six months out of the year. You do it while you're in a cut or a growth phase, depending on what your goals are. And so my plan right now is to do this cycle for this pret. And then I'll go into a growth phase where I'll probably, you know, stay off anything for like six months. And then while I'm in growth, you know, start like an anivar cycle, start, you know, another peptide cycle and go for that growth period of bulking with, you know, supplement. And so I'm thinking that that route will give me a lot of growth, especially like, you know, this is my second year in. I'm hoping in in by year four, I can move up to physique. And the more that I implement my strength training and just, you know, keep doing what I'm doing and being strategic, I think I'll reach those goals, you know, and looking at my blood work has been a lifesaver and knowing how to alter things, what supplements to add or take away. Like I didn't even recognize that, you know, my vitamin D was so high because my calcium had vitamin D in it and I was taking vitamin D pills. It's like things like that, that are just small things that can affect you. That having that blood work and having somebody else look at it as well, look it over, makes you just know those little small changes that can be affecting your body. Because sometimes people think steroids affect your body so much. Well, vitamin D was doing more to me than you know the peptides. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

Yeah, no, absolutely. Vitamin D is is huge. I actually felt a huge difference when I moved my vitamin D. My levels were about 20. Optimals about like 60 to 80 in functional ranges. And uh when I moved it to 80, holy shit, man, I just felt so much better. Yeah. I just uh it's hard to overstate how much these supplements make a change. And I've I've said this before that I don't I don't think the limiting factor for most people is the amount of drugs they're taking. I think it's their supplement stack that really sucks. They're just using things that don't really make a lot of sense. They're using things like like like you mentioned, like like using the you know, the calcium with vitamin D. That's why I don't like blends. I get one supplement that has one ingredient per thing. Yeah. Because I just want to be able to control that. It's kind of like imagine you get your first pill and it's like 10 milligrams of Anivar, but also 7 milligrams of Wintro and then 3 milligrams of, I don't know, something else. It's like, how the fuck do you know like which thing is doing what, or like what's your dose for each one of these? What's your response for them? It's like it's it doesn't make a lot of sense for blend. So I don't, I'm not a huge fan of them. But talking about bulking here, I actually have a huge pet peeve with that word, but I do understand what you mean. Like you you said 30 30 pounds, right? In five months, then you tapered back down, and then you calculated, okay, I probably built like around like 20 pounds of actual muscle in under a year. But you also said that you had bigger expectations than were realistic when you thought about nationals. What did that whole process teach you about how your body specifically works and where did your expectations get ahead of reality?

SPEAKER_01 26:48

So when I became nationally qualified, I was like, I'm gonna pick the last show of the year. I'm gonna go to Texas in December. And like my husband and, you know, I told everybody, I'm gonna go do that show. Yeah, I'm going for it, you know. And I had my sight set on it. And I went through that bulking phase and I thought I was like big. I'm like, I put on a lot of muscle. And then I did a show while I was mid-bulk just for the experience because I'm like, in three months, I'm gonna go on stage again. I wanna just go for the experience. Didn't care what I looked like, I just wanted to be on stage, get that presentation time in. And um, as soon as I started cutting, I started cutting in like, I don't know, like end of September, and then October came and then November came. And then I was pretty lean and I looked at myself and I was like, I am tiny. I looked at myself once I took off all that fat and I was like, I am not as big as what I thought I was going to be. I like thought this bulking thing was gonna make me so big, and I looked a lot bigger, like my legs look bigger, everything. But you know, when you start peeling off that fat and there's not that layer over top, you start seeing that it was more of the shape of your fat around it rather than the muscle grew that much. And so after, you know, November came and I was down pretty much five pounds before stage weight, I'm like, I'm not ready and I'm not spending thousands of dollars and taking a plane to go get my ass beat by like 20 girls on stage. And I'm like, I'm not comparable to this. And I was realistic about that. I'm like, I'm not comparable. Like I can tell that I wouldn't win, I would come in last, I would probably be laughed at, and I would probably have never wanted to do bodybuilding again if I threw myself at that with that expectation and then got let down. So I'm happy that I started cutting and I was like, no, this didn't do what I thought it was gonna. And so I just was like, nope, we're just gonna do another local show. And I just even decided like, I'm not even gonna go to nationals this year. I'm going to grow for probably another 12 months because I'll be qualified for another two years as long as I get first or second, and just go through a good growth period where I have a good stack, go through a cycle where I'm, you know, going through a growth period and see where I'm at then. Having a coach now, too, like, I'm just gonna wait for Jeremy to tell me you're ready. I'm not gonna tell myself anything anymore. I'm gonna let him do it. I've got my own clients and my own stuff to worry about, not having to worry about myself anymore and taking away that emotion from judging myself and critiquing or setting expectations that are unrealistic or selling myself short, giving that over to him. He can just tell me when it's ready to go and I'll listen to that.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

Yeah, yeah. No, that that makes a lot of sense. And that I cannot wait for the day that I'm in the same boat that I just don't have to worry about my own shit anymore because man, my roster is getting bigger and bigger, and I don't have the time to dedicate to myself as I needed before, you know? So, like it's just there's no mental space because I'm thinking about other people, I'm thinking about their programs. I don't have fucking time. So I had so many weeks where I took my check-in photos, but then I never logged them into my app. I never did the comparisons and stuff because I just I just didn't have the time because I have 20 check-ins piling up that I could get to before the end of the day. So it's um yeah, I I do I do feel like that's very understated, right? Like when people think like, oh, I'm gonna get a coach, it's like I know how to train, I know how to eat, I don't need a coach, and I'm like, you're an idiot. You don't understand the purpose of having someone take control of the wheel, bro. Like it's about the peace of mind, it's about the you know, the direction and being impartial and and objective with yourself and having someone who actually cares about you away from your own emotionality, you know? Oh, let's talk about training a little bit because you um stopped training upper body for like a few months because you you had this injury, and then you used that time to train your legs, which was really smart because you've you've talked about that being one of your biggest like weak weak points, right? So do you do you think you would have uh prioritized your leg growth as aggressively if the injured hasn't forced you? And also, what do you think did that period show you about your body that you didn't see before?

SPEAKER_01 30:49

Well, I used to be like an upper body girl. I really didn't like doing legs, and like I've actually lost an inch on my arms, but I was really disproportionate before. So when I took that three months off, I did lose mass. But, you know, I have better looking shoulders, things look more proportionate, but like my legs and upper body were so huge, and I was like a triangle almost. Like I just did not have the legs. But staying off upper body was so challenging for me because it was my favorite. Like that is where I got started, and that is what I enjoyed most. And I've always had a more developed upper body. So that is just like I always wanted to go hit upper body. I've loved it. And I kept going and trying. Like I have slipping rib syndrome and nerve damage, and I kept having this pain. And then I wouldn't be able to like move my arm and it would like hurt to breathe or laugh or talk. And it was like I feel my rib like slipping in and out. And I couldn't help myself. I kept trying to go in and like bench and do stuff, and I just thought, I'll just push past through it, like it's gonna go away. And then, like, months went by. I did my competition and like I was in the hotel room thrying because I popped my like chest out of place and like my shoulder. And like my husband tried to hug me and it hurt me. And I literally like was screaming and crying in the hotel room and like telling him I needed to go to the hospital. And he like stepped on my back and my shoulder and was like putting it back in place. Like I go to the chiropractor once or twice a week to get it put back in place. And so he actually put it back in place for me before I went to the evening show. But doing like the motions of figure of putting like things to the side would hurt me so much that like I just had to like grin and bear it. And at the time, actually being on stage, I'm blind in this eye. I have a scar over this side of my eye. And, you know, glasses don't help because there's a scar over it. So I really couldn't see too well on stage because of the lights and everything. So I'm like like Popeye, like looking all kinked while I'm there on stage. Um, so that was quite the experience. But having this injury taught me that when you feel something, to stay off of it. Like something I'm really thorough with with my clients is like, if that hurts, don't do it. We're gonna find another machine. I don't want you to do what I did to myself. And even now, I do not prioritize upper body like I did. And like it still hurts. Like I'm in pain every day from it. And it's not as bad as what it was, but it still affects me where I've had to do a whole different way of training. I used to just do benching and pull-ups and like bicep curls with the bar. I have to do things completely differently now with like way lighter weights, and it changed me for the better because it forced me to work out abs, like glutes and legs more, where I don't think I would have ever intentionally done that myself and been selling myself short. But in that period of time where I could not work out upper body, I grew such love for legs that now I'm like, it doesn't bother me when I can't hit but hit upper body. I'm not as worried about it. And I also think that I look a lot more proportional now. So as much as it sucks that it happened, it happened in a way that it helped design me the way that I am now to look better for this competition.

SPEAKER_00 34:01

So yeah, yeah. No, that's a that's a that's a great answer. I I I love the way that your brain works about this stuff. Well, I am actually autistic as well, so obviously I love the way your brain works. We're just superior people, you know? Now speaking of superior already. Uh but you've decided to not go until you're confident that you can win the overall. And that's a very specific internal standard. So, what is it that actually needs to be true? What things do you need to see in place before you decide, like, okay, now I'm ready? And like, is that decision fully yours, or is that decision coming from your coach as well? Like, walk me through this process here.

SPEAKER_01 34:40

Yeah, I mean, previously I would have always said, like, oh, the decision is mine, I'll go when I want. But like, now I'm just gonna listen to my coach. He has so much experience and knowledge, and I feel like, you know, I trust him. And that's that's something that's hard to come by. For one, I don't trust people. I also don't trust people with like my body. So for me to have been willing and grown enough of a relationship with him to hand that over, I'm not about to pull it back. I trust him fully that he will let me know. And he's not gonna tell me to do something that isn't gonna get me where I need. And my perspective is is yeah, I do this for fun and I enjoy it, but I also have a goal. And, you know, I'm willing to wait to reach my goals. I have time, you know, I'm young. So if it takes me a longer time than even a year, that's okay. I would rather go when I'm ready than put myself into something where honestly I can compete locally and smash the shows, you know, help promote myself and my business, my other clients, bring my clients to the shows, you know, and so that's where I kind of want to be in the next year is bring more of my clients to the bodybuilding shows, spend time, you know, growing my business while I go through a growth period. Because in all reality, I want to go and win. I want to get my pro card. And I don't want to leave nationals without a pro card. And until I'm confident that I can do that, and Jeremy tells me you're gonna smash it, I'm not gonna go because I I trust that he's gonna tell me when I'm ready.

SPEAKER_00 36:10

Yeah, I think that I think that's a great answer. I think that's the way that um, you know, things should should go for the my overwhelming majority of people. And people should also have uh if that's not what you're doing, what you should have at least is a clear set point of when you're going to compete because you're never gonna feel ready. You're never gonna think you're ready. You could always be bigger, you could always be more killed. So, like, let's use an ex as an example for myself. I said I'm gonna do two more growth phases and then I'm gonna put on stage whatever the fuck I have. So, like, let's just see what's gonna happen after two more growth phases. That's about like a year and a half of growth. So it can't be that bad, you know. Like, being that I probably could compete right now if I just be fucking bam weight and I don't want to step on way on stage to be fucking lightweight. So but pro card, bigger division, compounds, marathons between shows, aerial silk, self-coaching, everything. You just don't sit still. Underneath all of that, what is the version of Casey that you're actually building towards? Like what is it that you're actually trying to do with everything that you do?

SPEAKER_01 37:13

Honestly, my husband is very successful and has supported all of my dreams and ideas from the silliest things to the smallest and biggest of things. I mean, he helped me try to open up a petting zoo, like we had a kangaroo and a lemur. I had like a hundred different snakes and spiders around the house. Like, you know, I had a dog grooming business. I trained like police dogs and service dogs, and like we had 20 dogs around the house, and he let me breed dogs. And this man has invested so much time and money and like supporting me that my goal in all of this was I can have fun doing it. And I want to build up myself enough where, you know, I get my pro card, I support my business and I train bodybuilders, but I want to hire people. Like my goal is in the next two years to have enough people hired here that I can step away and not work every day and not have to do this, but honestly make it so like my husband is 18 years older than me. And I would like for him to be able to retire at a decent age and me not have to work all the time because he works like every day of the week. He never has a day off. And I want to be able to help support him, like when he's older. Not to be like, you know, funny or anything, but you know, he he's older than me. And he'll he'll be in a wheelchair and I'll be having to take care of him and feed him and stuff. And I want to give him a good lifestyle and have him a good little room, yeah, with all his medical equipment he'll need. And so I just like have that perspective of like, you know, he's done so much for me. And I want to set ourselves up for success even more. You know, his real estate will always be there. And of course, like he saves money for retirement, but I want to give to him a lot of the things that he's done for me. You know, he he's always done for other people that comes to his family, his children. And I don't think anybody's done a lot of big things for him. I'd love to get him like a Corvette. I would love to get him like, you know, a new camper. Like things that he won't do for himself because he's always so worried about what he can do for me and make sure I'm happy. I just want to be able to be like, no, I got it. Like, I can do that. Like, you know, you don't even need to go to work this week. Don't worry about it. Take the winter off. Like, I want him to not be so stressed out and pressured all the time. And it's not that I have to work. He he never asked me to. He bought this place for me simply so I could work out and do what I love. And the fact he's willing to do that for me, like, I just want to give him all the things he's given to me. And that's genuinely where it comes from. I want to give back to the man that provided this lifestyle for me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:43

Yeah. Man, Casey, thank you so much for for being so open, for being so real and so unapologetic about your story, because that's the exact kind of conversation that makes people listening at home to know what's actually possible when you stop waiting for the perfect conditions and you just say go. Your trajectory in this sport is just getting started. And I have a feeling we're going to be watching you do some pretty special things over the next few years. And for everybody listening at home, if this episode hit for you, if you found yourself nodding along, writing things down, or sending this clip to someone that you already know, that's what we're here for. So share it, leave a review, tell a friend, do all of it because it genuinely helps us keep bringing conversations to you at this level. And speaking of that, we are back every single Friday with a brand new episode dropping right here on the Opticast. No fliffer, no fluff, just real conversations with real people doing real things in the world of performance, optimization, and human potential. The kind of guests and stories that you're not going to find anywhere else. So if you're not subscribed yet, fix that shit right now because you do not want to miss what's coming next week. And until then, peace out, guys.