Happily Depressed
Hosted by two best friends who met through the chaos of TikTok and the Pokemon hobby, this show is what happens when the cameras don't turn off.
They will be laughing, not knowing what they are doing, but they will talk about everything- mental health, past traumas, relationships, identity, purpose... and yeah, some Pokemon too.
Nothing is off limits.
Sometimes it'll be dark, deep, and just plain ole unhinged.
They will also be reading your stories- the heavy ones, the insane ones, the "my house is haunted" ones, the ones that maybe you never told anyone.
This isn't about having the answers, it's about just having the conversations.
If you ever felt like maybe you never fully fit anywhere... or like there is more under the surface than people realize... then you may just feel at home here.
Welcome, to Happily Depressed.
Happily Depressed
Potatoes
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Talking about how Colt isn't Spider-Man (not yet anyways), Christian has a thing with potatoes, Costco might stop samples, addiction to phones, sobriety, creating content, and for the first time we are reading a couple emails.
SEND ANY COMMENTS ABOUT US (TOGETHER OR INDIVIDUALLY) AND ALL STORIES YOU'D LIKE US TO TELL OR TALK ABOUT TO CRASHOUTDADDIES@GMAIL.COM NO LIMITS, NO FILTERS, HAVE FUN, GO CRAZY, MAKE US CRY, LAUGH, AND BE LIKE WTFFF... (I mean, this podcast is explicit after all...)
enjoy.
-Colt & Christian
Socials for Tiktok/IG
Colt: @cltpkmn
Christian: @mybrotherspack
crashoutdaddies: @crashoutdaddies
I just want you single and depressed. I just want no life, dude. I want you don't forget unemployed.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00I want you single. Okay. I in my head I try to say depressed, but I could only think unimpressed, which you probably are. Look at me.
SPEAKER_02I'm not look at me. I'm I'm unimpressed. I'm unimpressed. Single, depressed. So how do you want me? That sounds so weird to ask, but how do you want me? Single. Depressed? I don't want to be unemployed. Well, I'm always depressed, I guess. I don't want to be single. You don't have to always be depressed. You don't always have to be single. You don't always have to be single. No, you always have to be single.
SPEAKER_00You don't always have to be unemployed.
SPEAKER_02I don't, I don't want it. Sounds like you want to.
SPEAKER_00Let's talk about our dreams for life. Let's start with that. Let's talk about dreams.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00A lot of people want to hear about dreams. Yeah. Not your sleeping dreams. Your dreams when you are alive, when you're lucid. Is that the right word?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you could say that, I guess.
SPEAKER_00When you are awake, what do you desire? To not be single and not be depressed. That's too small of goals. Oh, okay. Um You're telling me what you can't do. But what can you do?
SPEAKER_02Well, I can't climb walls and shoot webs out of my hands. Okay, so you're never gonna be Spider-Man with that idea. Don't tell me that shit. Don't tell me it's just your attitude. Uh what can't I do? What can you do? What can I do? Yes. You're saying, oh, I can't be happy. No, I can be. You don't want me to be happy. Don't flip it around on me doing the shit that I do to you. That's don't. I do that stuff to you.
SPEAKER_00Okay, let's start now. All right. And start. All right, Cole. Let's talk about.
SPEAKER_02No, I'm keeping a lot of that in there.
SPEAKER_00I really am. Let's talk about aspirations. When you're awake, when you're alive, what do you want the most?
SPEAKER_02Kind of just the life, dude. You know, low-key. Uh, I want that life, you know. What is that life? I don't know, dude. Legitimately speaking, I just want to be happy. I just want to be Okay, what makes you happy? And a good relationship and have a nice house. What's a good relationship? No, do you want to know what my biggest dream is?
SPEAKER_00Because you're just telling me a lot of vague.
SPEAKER_02Do you want to know my do you want to know what my biggest dream is? Do you want legitimately speaking, do you want to know my biggest dream? I asked the question. Are you do you want to know?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I could tell you.
SPEAKER_00It doesn't seem like you want to know. As long as PokéChon's not in it, then yes.
SPEAKER_02All right, you ready? So my biggest dream is to roll the intro.
SPEAKER_03Welcome to Happily the Breath. Happily the best.
SPEAKER_02All right, no, do you wanna my biggest dream is legitimately speaking, is that I want to be a point in my life, which I know it's controversial to say this, but you know, like David Dobrik. Because he has like little controversies about him of like, you know, the crap with Jeff, if anybody knows who I'm talking about and how he hurt himself.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's the guy who got like swung around in the ocean, right? Yeah, that was crazy.
SPEAKER_02But I still watch his videos, I ain't gonna lie. Anyways, I want to be in a position where I can be like that, like just that level of generosity, that level of like so generous that you almost kill your friends.
SPEAKER_01No, not maybe if you're having enough fun, yeah, maybe I get really hurt.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. But no, I'm like legitimately speaking, like I want to be able to go and be in a place in my life where I am happy. I have a partner and we're happy, having lots of fun, wink wink. And but no, I want to, but that's what I want to do. Like, if if me and my partner, me and whoever you're like, I want to be able to be like, man, let's go. I want to go take a trip with Christian and his wife and the kids and Jimmy or you know, Evan or whoever, and I want to do this big thing. Like, I want to be able to have like you guys go, I don't know, it's not in the budget or something. Like, I don't know, we'll see, blah, blah, blah. But I want to be able to be like, oh, it's covered. What are you talking about? Like, I want to be like, I got it. Like, I want to be the dude that's like, I got it.
SPEAKER_00Okay, you want to be the dude.
SPEAKER_02I want to be the dude. Okay. With a white Russian. I f you go bowling a lot. Yeah. Wow, you've seen the big Lebaski.
SPEAKER_00Most of it.
SPEAKER_02Most of it. Don't know how it ends. He doesn't. On an airplane. No, but that's a genuine thing because I think that the life I had, I wasn't, I don't know, I wasn't given a lot. It wasn't a great life. And like I want to make sure that for myself and the person I love and the people that I love around me. I don't know. I want to be able to be like, it's all taken care of. Don't worry about it. Like, we can live a good life. Even I know bad shit's bad shit's always gonna happen, but I want to be able to, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00It sounds weird, but I feel like this is very noble of you, but I have feedback.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00What is it? What do you think my feedback is gonna be?
SPEAKER_02You're gonna die alone. What's your feedback? Other than I think that you want me to die alone and be sad, so my only happiness comes from you, and you want to give me Stockholm.
SPEAKER_00Well, yeah, that's how I feel like valued, yeah. But I can move on from that. Okay. So, what's your feedback? That you're not being specific enough. How do you become the dude?
SPEAKER_02Uh well, I want to become the dude by living through stuff that I love. Okay. Like what? Creating content.
SPEAKER_00What sort of content? Any time any type of content. Nope, can't do that. If you just say I'm gonna go create whatever, why not? Because that's not a strategy. It is a strategy.
SPEAKER_02No, I don't want to we've had this conversation.
SPEAKER_00You know, you know, I don't want to be chokeheld to Pokemon. Aim small, Miss Small. You are aiming very broadly right now. You want to be the dude. Yeah, the dude. How do you become the dude? By being me. Not good enough. Wow, I'm not good enough, dude. I'm learning a lot in the first few minutes of this podcast.
SPEAKER_01But seriously, like I'm learning you want to give me Stockholm Syndrome, and I'm not the guy, dude.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you're not that guy. No, I'm saying that what you're saying. Have you forgotten how to dream?
SPEAKER_02No, I dream all the time.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00So tell me what you want. What do you want, dude? What do you want? Easy there, gosling junior. Come on. What do you want? And your wildest. I thought we were gonna talk about the next one. No, okay. All right, let me reframe this question because this is depressing me already. Describe your perfect day. Ooh, ooh, okay. This is how we're gonna get to where I want to take this conversation.
SPEAKER_02I wake up with said beautiful lady next to me. Okay. Okay. We have coffee, nice, have some fun, eat some breakfast. What's for breakfast? Homemade food, man. Something good, healthy. I'm making, you know, just a tell me what's for breakfast. Okay, I'll do a thing where it's like a bed of hash browns with eggs on top, sunny side up.
SPEAKER_00Shredded hash browns?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we can do that. How did you get those? I grew the potatoes. What the fuck do you mean?
SPEAKER_00No, did you are they from a bag frozen? Or did you grate those potatoes? Yeah, sure. You make them on a black stone? Did you make them in oil?
SPEAKER_02You're getting two end up, dude.
SPEAKER_00I want to know yeah, because I want to know, are you cooking in this?
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00Okay. I want to know like I love cooking. Yeah, that's what I thought. But I didn't know.
SPEAKER_02I just cooked you a meal for Christmas.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and it was very good. I just want to know all this.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so you're cooking hash browns for your for your lady.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And you said there's eggs, maybe some avocado.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Okay. Sunny set up eggs. I like when the yolk runs and I mix it into the hash browns and stuff, dude. Okay. Little little, you know, green onion sprinkled on top. Little bit of bacon sprinkled on top. What's the difference between a green onion and a scallion? It depends on where you're cutting it from the onion, I think. Because the scallions it depends on the sections of the thing that you're cutting it. The white part. Yes. Is that a scallion? I believe so, yeah. Okay. Learned something, didn't you? Alright.
SPEAKER_00Now your belly's perfectly happy.
SPEAKER_02Now wake up from this dream already. No. According to you, it's never happy. Okay. Where are you? Where are you? Uh and my house.
SPEAKER_01I'm so uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_02In my house. Okay. And where's your house? San Diego. Okay. What part of San Diego? Close to Little Italy, so I can walk to it. Okay. Why do you want to walk to Little Italy? James Coffee Co. and Art of Play. Okay. Two amazing places. Okay. I love them. Deals with puzzles and magic. And then James Coffee.
SPEAKER_00So you haven't shown the perfect climate.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. You throw on your clothes. What are you wearing? Jeans and a t-shirt. Sweet that you're wearing that now. Maybe your dreams are closer than we thought.
SPEAKER_01San Diego is only in a thousand dollars. Dude, if we just do this in San Diego, we're good. Find you a job. I'll be the pretty girl. I'll be the pretty girl who put a wig on. Okay. That's why you've been growing your hair out. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00So you throw on the shades. You're headed out. Where are you going first? James Coffee. Okay. You get your coffee. You're sitting there. You're taking it to go.
SPEAKER_02Sitting. It's a really cool layout in there. Okay. What are you doing in there? Me and the pretty girl are talking. We're talking about movies and stuff that we want to go see and books that we're going to read.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02What time is it? Uh 11.
SPEAKER_00The heat's just crawling up, you know? The marine layer. All burned off now. There's no more May Gray.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Right? That's all gone now.
SPEAKER_02Gotcha.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Yeah, it's late enough in the day.
SPEAKER_02And then afterwards, I get to we get to maybe walk around a couple little shops and then go home. I get to make content. Now this is where you're gonna get pissed. What content, Colt? I don't know. I just know that I want to be creative.
SPEAKER_00And I want to, I love filming things. It's fine if you don't know what you would aspire to make, though. Like what would you like to try? What would you like it to be?
SPEAKER_02One of my biggest goals would be to write and produce and make and direct and star in short films or movies or shows. I love having the idea of when I'm writing short stories or a novel, that I look at it when I'm writing from a very storyboard perspective because I have a heightened imagination of when I'm looking at certain things that I can see the scenes playing in my head. And I'm like, man, that would look really great on a TV. Or like, oh man, I could see the actor doing this. Or oh, if I was playing this role, I would want to make sure that the line is delivered this way, or this gut-wrenching moment or plot twist really hit home, and you could do it this way. Like I do get very into that. And I was just having a conversation uh with Des about our love for that stuff and how I the symbolism and stuff with movies, and even like when it comes to color palettes and stuff. So I think if in my dream world, I'm working in this entire realm of things, and that's what I'm creating content-wise. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Is that with somebody or is that by yourself?
SPEAKER_02Either or I would be happy either way. I'm easy.
SPEAKER_00Okay. I'll let you get a pass on that one.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00I do stuff with you.
SPEAKER_02I could do stuff by myself. I love doing either my individual stuff, but I also equally, if not a little bit more, love doing stuff with you.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02By the way, you live in San Diego as well, just saying you know, in this dream of mine. Yeah, I could see that. So when I was at the coffee shop earlier, you like texted me and you're like, bro, are we gonna go to the park later today? You know, you said that. And I was just like, Yeah, I gotta film some stuff.
SPEAKER_00And then so in in your wildest dream, you're telling me no to hanging out.
SPEAKER_02No, I said you said, Can we hang out later? I said, Yeah, we're gonna hang out at the park later. I just gotta film some stuff first, and then you're like, Okay, oh my god, you're my best friend. I love you so much. God, we're two super handsome men. Oh, so it had to be about you for the dream to be okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, we I thought we covered that in the beginning. Okay, okay. All right. So you create your content. Where are you publishing that?
SPEAKER_02Where does that go? I think I would want to try to do something like the avenue of Markiplier and You like the cult tube. Cult tube, duh, dude.
SPEAKER_01Okay, a little bit smaller.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I own Google. What are you talking about? No, I I think I look at it from the perspective like I was telling you recently, Markiplier did that thing where he's a YouTuber and he was able to get a movie and theaters do all that. I think that's so cool because you're watching somebody do something that they're just passionate about and based off of their fan base and like the creativity and like the determination, he was able to actually like say, screw big producing companies like Universal and stuff, and was just like, I'm making my movie, and he did it, and like that's wild, especially in today's age and age. It's crazy to do that. Insane. So probably YouTube and yeah, TikTok, I guess. And I don't know. If the maybe a theater, maybe in theater. IMAX. IMAX, dude. That'd be cool. I always my biggest dream ever would be to do something with A24, which I'm a massive A24 fan. If anybody's listening and knows A24, uh, talk to me, bring her back, hereditary, Midsummer, all those movies. I'm like, there's so sure what A24 is. It's a production company. Yeah, it's a production company. Yeah. Of Zendaya and Robert Pattinson. And uh scene from the sh the movie Baby Girl, which is really good. I have uh that envelopes from A24. I have zines from them. Zines, zines, the little magazines all over my place. Yeah, I love it. I I they they make if a heretic, have you seen Heretic? You would love that movie. Heretic, when I watch that movie, it's something that every time I watch it, it's about these two uh like Jehovah's Witness girls that go to this guy's house. I'm on board already, yeah. And they try to be all, do you have Jesus in your heart? blah blah blah. And like they did it so well, but like pretty much they get trapped in this guy's house, and like they're tested on their faith, and like he's talking to them about all these things, but it's like almost like this horror escape room of them like getting their faith truly tested by God and like by this man, and like showing him, it's just truly mind-blowing, anyways. I could go on uh uh about 824 movies forever, but yeah, that's my biggest dream is to be and write and produce and direct a fucking A24 movie, dude. The guys who did talk to me and bring her back are the Raka brothers, which I might be saying that wrong, but they're two brothers who literally started on YouTube doing like challenge videos and like all these things, and like two guys, and like they've always been interested in filmmaking, and they did some they do skits and stuff and all this crap, which is really cool. But when you go watch those movies, like I would love to watch have you watch clips of the Raka brothers' original YouTube stuff and then make you watch one of the movies because you'll look at it in a different light of being like, Holy crap, dude, like this is insane. I'm sorry, I'm gonna I'm done.
SPEAKER_00And just consistency over time, yeah, and just growth from that.
SPEAKER_02Wild to think about that, anyways, dude. Um, sorry, what's the question? Again, I it was that's what I was breakfast. Yeah, I'm so passionate about that stuff.
SPEAKER_00So I'll I'll rant, dude. Okay, no, no, that's good. Okay, so you create your content, you post it, and then wear from there. Perfect day.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah. Uh creating the content, posting it. Um, well, like I said, you texted me about the park. So I think maybe you, your lady, my lady, we're all walking around a park. Your two daughters are there. We got a maybe we have a dog, me and the partner, or a cat. I have a dog right now, but I don't know. Maybe we have a cat on a leash, dude. I don't know. San Diego, yeah. We have a koala on a leash, dude. Actually, biggest dream, dude. Yeah, red panda. We have a red panda that's super well trained and just hanging out. So that's gonna draw a lot of attention. Hey, dude, uh, we already have attention, dude. We're famous in my dream. So we're in San Diego though, so yeah, true. Nobody gives a shit about us. Yeah, but now we're walking around a park, having a good day, dude. Uh maybe we play. What else do we do in the park? Uh I was about to say maybe play a little tennis, dude. I want to go golfing. Maybe go on a golf thing, dude. I just like hitting the balls, you know. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_00No, it's it's premature.
SPEAKER_02Um, yeah, I don't know, doing something kind of active, having fun, swimming, dude. I love swimming. It's one of my favorite things ever. Maybe we're at the beach, do a little swimming. Uh we all go out to dinner. Love that.
SPEAKER_00Where are we going to dinner? Remember, my kids have dietary restrictions.
SPEAKER_02That's why I just went, ooh, because I literally was just like, oh, where okay, where's Colt going to dinner? There's a great pizza joint in Little Italy. There's a great um, I can't remember the name of this restaurant, it's near this pizza joint by James Coffee Co. Oh. We're just going somewhere good. I can't answer that because I want to think about your daughters and the the dietary restrictions. No, that's fine. I was just in my dream, they don't have dietary pizza joints.
SPEAKER_00Please, yeah, I want to live that reality.
SPEAKER_02Take away their uh what is it? Their celiac. Celiac. Yeah, take that away. And then end the night with more fun with my partner and reading some books, maybe watching a show and more fun and then going to bed. There you go. And start all over the next day, dude. Okay, that's your perfect day. Yeah, I don't know. I was funny enough, I was just talking to her about that stuff too, and I want to like that's like my biggest dream is like I want just a life where I'm I am, like we've talked about many times, just living and and from my passions and doing stuff and just being able to let that be whatever it may be and everything like that. I don't know, dude. It's which I think like is a lot of people's dreams and stuff, but I know that like we've talked before about like just not wanting to be in that corporate jungle of crap and just feeling like we're just dial tones and just another number on a in a cog type crap. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so what thing do you do right now that will be like the most helpful in helping you get there? What's one thing that you're doing now that's going to be instrumental in you getting to that dream?
SPEAKER_02It sounds funny, but like I apply for jobs every single week because I am unemployed and stuff, and a full-time job as much as it would benefit me financially, maybe, especially depending on the job. Granted, I get turned down every single week, multiple times a week, and stuff, because I one, I'm required to do that for unemployment, and then two, like, um I do want financial stability, like like I have money coming in now, but it's okay.
SPEAKER_00This isn't answering my question.
SPEAKER_02No, I am getting there. Hold on. But like I'm looking at it at a way of like I know like when people hit certain situations, I think they say beggars can't be choosers and stuff. And I think with a lot of the jobs, like I could go get a job right now at McDonald's or at like freaking wherever, Starbucks, you name it. Sure, like a basic dead-end job of just whatever because it's the easiest to go into. Sure, I could go do that. But I don't think I'm trying to be a beggar, can't be a beggar being a chooser. I think I'm betting on me, and I think that's what I'm doing right now to try to do that. Where I'm saying I know that I need X, Y, and Z, but I'm betting on me. And I'm gonna try to keep making TikToks, whether it's if it's for Pokemon or if I do other stuff, because your boy hit over four million on a freaking stupid video. But um, yeah, I think I'm just betting on me. And I think that like, you know, we talked about earlier with the other things that I have in works that could actually help maybe financially fuel a lot of the stuff that I have in the future as well. We have I don't know, we're I'm I'm I'm betting on me. That's what I'm doing. You're giving me questions that makes me want to rant, and I don't like that. I don't like doing that. I mean, I love doing that, but right now I feel like in an annoyance.
SPEAKER_00An annoyance? No.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I'm just thinking, like, okay, so you're betting on yourself. How does that manifest daily? Well, I want to double-y may ne you may never have more time than you do right now to work on what you want to be working on. Exactly.
SPEAKER_02We've talked about that, yeah. So that's what I'm doing. Do you think you're doing enough? I mean, between the videos I do put up, the podcast I have to go edit, the other shit I have to do. I think it sucks. This podcast is horrible, dude. Uh, can this one too? Um, no, I fighting depression, trying to go back into the gym freaking. Uh what else, dude? My other personal shit going on? Like, I mean, yeah, I could be we've talked about it. Like, I could be doing more, especially with the other page. Like, I it's not like I don't have time to go film a video of doing whatever. I could go film something that's like slightly cinematic enough or whatever and be fine with it and everything.
SPEAKER_00But you've also been working like a super hard schedule lately.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So with what I do on the side right now, like, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I feel like if the other thing comes through, then hopefully that'll be helpful. Then that'll make it easier, yeah. Yeah. To get into a routine where you're hitting the gym so you feel good.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. I was gonna go today, but then we had this stuff because I went the past two days, and now this is throwing me off because I'm like in the mood to go to the gym. But here I am right getting asked questions and being told that I need to have Stockholm Syndrome. So I don't know, dude.
SPEAKER_00No, that was at the beginning. We're past that. Yeah. I mean, I think like the first conversation that we had in this kitchen out there was me just saying, like, I don't know if if glazing is the the right word to use. That's what the kids use. Okay, but I was like, dude, you're so cool and like complex and intricate and deep, and people don't usually see that side of you as much. And like you're so talented, you know. And like the whole conversation was like me just like hyping you up and being like, Holy shit, like, dude, I'm so impressed. Like, and I feel like I had a job then, so yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you you were a mechanic, and I was like, Oh, dude, this mechanic's awesome. I know you better now. And what I can say is like I believe that stuff even more, you know. I know you better now, and I believe that stuff even more. And you're like, like, yeah, you're going through a hard time, but I I I feel like you need to be more specific about what you want, and that's why I wanted you to be specific with me.
SPEAKER_02So when I'm taking a shower, I'm using this new brand of shampoo. Yeah, that's what's called Boulevard and Co. Okay. It smells really good. It's amber sandalwood. Well, I don't know what to say to that.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, no, I mean it's like I feel like each day is just kind of like passing you by right now, a little bit. Like they're all kind of the same day. Trying to build stuff. Don't no, no, I know, no, I know, I know. Don't make me like I was having a good day today, dude.
SPEAKER_02And then we were leave I'm gonna go. And then we were prismatic. No, now you're saying this, and I'm like, great, now I gotta go be fucking depressed.
SPEAKER_00No, it's no, no, it's the same way with me. It's like survival from one day to the next. But like, how do we start to build some momentum on these things, you know? And I mean that really comes from consistency and like pushing our boundaries.
SPEAKER_01Step one is move to S D.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah, dude. Did you just say S And D? S D. No, I think S Andy. We're moving to San Andiego.
SPEAKER_00That's yeah, isn't that what it is? Is it San Diego, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh also in my dream in this is no offense because I'm very proud of your sobriety. But there's a bar that I just love in San Diego and we're having a drink there, dude.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure. Like I I can I can have drinks, they just don't serve me in any way. Uh they don't serve me at the bar. Yeah. They say we can't give that guy alcohol again because last time was really bad. Crazy man at San Diego, dude. It just kind of has lost its effect on me in the fun way.
SPEAKER_02I think that you could find the effect again. Me and me enabling you to drink, you should try again. But no, I mean I I think that for me drinking, not to make this like a weird pivot, but for me drinking like isn't it I had my severe party days and drug stuff that I've done drugs, I've done drinking. You've done drinking? I've dabbled with drugs, I've dabbled with drinking a fair bit. I used to drink all the time and party all the time and stuff. And I don't know. I then I like was friends with this one guy where he was like die hard, like we have to black out every time, and we're drinking every night. And I and I just that made me lose its luster for that. I had my waves of where I'd drink because of sadness, and I would drink because I wasn't good enough, and I would drink just to feel something. And what I don't recommend, and I will end this soon so we don't get depressed, is like I would just I'll just say I did stupid things while uh when drinking. And I find myself now of being really proud of myself because I can hold my drinks really well because of my past, which is nice, but I am able to I hit a point during drinking where I find my sweet spot and I go, okay, I'm riding this because it's the sweet spot where like I can, you know, it's liquid confidence, and I do believe in that. It's I feel like it's very scientifically proven of us. Oh yeah, for sure. You know, but where I get to have like that loose feeling of just being like, I can have these conversations and we're just chilling and talking. Like there's something in my brain where I romanticize. It's almost like when you're watching a movie and you're watching an old-timey movie, and like the guy's lighting the girl's cigarette, and like they're just having a smoke, and like, I'll fetch the moon for you, or whatever. Like, there's a romanticizing towards smoking, and I think that there's a ro I hold a romanticizing effect towards having drinks with my buddy, having drinks with my girl, having drinks, having a you know, drunk smoke, having a whatever. And I think that it's something where when I view it, like drinking for me is is you're at a bar that's like a very New England bar. There's something about and also growing up in that environment of being like on the East Coast in those bars where it's like people are just there because we're friends, we're hanging out, we're having those chats, we're having those drinks. It's a different effect than like where we live of like what you see happening in Old Town. Like, that's just college kids being stupid and getting drunk and and shit faced. But for me, having drinks with my buddies is like let's go to that old wooden dive bar, have the conversations, have the drinks, feeling like that love and compassion and everything, and have it just be like that's my romanticizing of it. And I love that part of it.
SPEAKER_00So I think you could if you ever, you know, yeah, and like so everybody knows like I'm sober by choice, not because like anybody told me I had to get sober or anything like that, like when I'm at like 410 days in or something like that. That's crazy. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you, by the way. I wasn't I guess John Mayer told me, you know, to stop drinking. What? Because like he has like that interview where he talks about him not drinking, and he was like, you know, the highs aren't as high but and the lows aren't as low, but like the whole section where mo mo where most of your life exists gets the bar gets raised. So like you don't have the way up here and you don't have the way down here, but like what was here before, which is you know, 90% of the time that you're not drinking, yeah, like that all gets raised up. So like just your regular like quality of life is better. And I do I do agree with that. Yeah, I don't have like I don't have as many like drinking stories to tell. Like all that stuff is in my past, and I had really cool experiences and stuff like that. I'm not as sad as often for sure, but like I figured that the stories in life that I wanted to tell I could make happen without drinking, and I wouldn't want them to be about drinking. Right. Like say, you know, if I were to sail across the ocean, if I were to, you know, be extremely strong sailing across the ocean. I mean, that's what sailors do, right? Yeah, yeah, but like being extremely charitable and like meeting amazing people and changing lives and stuff like that. Like none of that requires drinking. So why would I let a couple drinks get into it? I think and I can be just as creative without drinking.
SPEAKER_02No, I a hundred percent agree with everyone you're saying. I think it's I just love the extension. I'm a big extension person, I think, too, in my brain. What do you mean? Like the drinking is just an extension of like having that good. Like if we're out at a restaurant or having fun, like just having that drink, it's just an extension of just like a good effect that can happen and stuff. And what you're saying, I yeah, I 100% agree. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And like, believe me, I want to go sit, you know, at some oceanside bar and look out at the ocean and which like a drink.
SPEAKER_02I haven't had a drink in yeah, fucking a month or something like that. And I have alcohol here, I just don't even touch it anymore. Because and that's like I was saying earlier, is because like I know not what my limit is, but like I know that like I'm proud of myself because like I don't know if what you would call like a still drinking sober person. Like, I don't know, like a liar? A liar. But but no, like I got the coins and everything. I don't search for it like I used to. But like if if we were all hanging out in town, yeah, you'd like a social drinking, yeah. But like getting out without drinking, but yeah, yeah, but like but the thing is is like if we're all going out like so. We have that thing with uh at your sister's house this weekend. Fuck yeah, dude. I'm probably gonna have a drink, dude. And I'm pumped about it, and I'm pumped to have a drink. Everybody else will too, yeah. Yeah, that's all like it's it is something I think about, but it's like I don't think about it the way of like, oh, I'm gonna get shit faced. Like I'm just happy to be like, let's have a drink, dude. Like, fuck it. Like, yeah. Yeah, that carefree social.
SPEAKER_00Right, just hanging out and chilling. Yeah, no, for sure. I I a hundred percent know what you're talking about. And um, yeah, I like I said, I just never want that to I never want to look back at my life and be like, what was the one thing that held me back? And be like alcohol. It was saying the wrong thing to the wrong person because I had a couple of drinks. Right. It was me waking up feeling crappy because I had a drink the night before, which like it only takes one. Really? Well, like late enough at night. Yeah. And then you like I've had kids that have not slept well. So it was like, oh, if I have a beer at 8 30 and then my kids are up, you know, seven times at night, I'm gonna feel terrible tomorrow. So like that definitely helped cut it out. But it's like I don't want excuses and I don't want regrets. And maybe I'll have a drink when like I can quit my corporate job.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Like that's like a celebration. Right. You know, it's like stuff like that. Like, I have no issue. So you're like the celebratory cigar guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So like, yeah, you just like, oh man, I just made my first meal. Time to have a cigar. Like, whatever. You know, you know what I mean.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like when I got the job that I have right now, like I went out and bought a whiskey.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So like that's that's all fine. And like I do think that there there is like dude, you just hit 50k on TikTok.
SPEAKER_02I know, but I haven't hit 100k on Instagram. Scavenge, let's go.
SPEAKER_00But like all that stuff is like small potatoes, you know. It's not like celebrating every thing that happens. We talk about hash browns. Yeah, potatoes and potatoes, yeah. But no, I mean, really, it's just like, okay. Like, that's a number, but where does that actually get me?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00What does that do for me? And really it's nothing. I respect it. I'm not quitting my job. I'm not doing anything like that.
SPEAKER_02But I also do like that you don't, and this is sometimes it's needed to be said, but sometimes it isn't. And I feel like with us it's not needed to be said, but I do like that I can sit there and still have a drink with you and like it. You're not sure.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah, like it doesn't I'm not like chomping at the bit being like, oh yeah, tell me.
SPEAKER_02Not not that you'd be chomping at the bit and being like, fucking, oh man, how is it? But like the fact that you're not one of those which like if you are this way, I guess it's okay, but like you're not one of those people where you're like, Well, I'm sober, you can't drink around me. Oh you know, one of those people. Cause it's just I think that's weird. I personally, I mean, like, it's like again, I respect it, but like, and especially depending on what situation made it that way, because there's I'm sure there's situations where it's a for very good reason. Yeah. But yeah, like I like that I'm like, oh, I can still hang out on a cushion and if we're at a restaurant, I can be like, yeah, give me a whiskey. And like you're not gonna be like fucking depressed about it or whatever. Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_00And I have like I have thoughts on that, but I I feel like as I'm thinking through like I feel like if you're like in a situation like that where you're like you can't drink around me sort of thing, yeah, then you're the person who shouldn't be around other people.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00But I think it's different if like we're best friends and you're like, oh, I know that I can't drink around you. Right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because like this very traumatic thing happened, or something like that, or like temptations. I I don't know. Because I I think that we can be like considerate to each other, but also like if you're in a situation like that, like it's kind of your responsibility to stay out of yeah, like what are you gonna do? Go to a restaurant and be like, oh, can we sit in a section where there's nobody?
SPEAKER_02Because aren't there rush there are restaurants though where it's like drinking section and non-drinking or something like that? Oh really? I've been to restaurants like that.
SPEAKER_00Like I I here are my two sides of this take. Two takes of this side. Two takes of this side. Yeah, two here are my two sides of my two takes of this. Okay. Is I think that we should all be more understanding and considerate of others. That's a hundred. That's side A. Yeah. Oh wow, basic human again.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, wow. Yeah, it's like you're asking too much today, Chris.
SPEAKER_00Oh, like I can I cannot have a drink so this person can be here because it's a special event or whatever. My side B is, and I feel like this is kind of a hot take, that existing in the world, we have to be more like understanding that inconveniences are going to happen.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I see like people on social media that that are like they should make kid free flights. And I'm like, just because they're like, just because you decided to do this and that and you had a kid, like, doesn't mean that I have to put up with it. That's so weird. I don't know. I see people on Reddit on like the Costco subreddit and they're like kid hours? No, no, no, no, no, no. I was like, no. They say uh they should get rid of the samples at Costco because so many people stop their car and stand there and like they want to like to try the sample and stuff, and they're like, I just want to get in and get out as quickly as I can. I want everybody to get out of my way. And people are just really bad at being mildly inconvenienced.
SPEAKER_02That's so ridiculous. And it's I think it's the most adults who don't want the samples are you you've lost all kid like inside of you. The the child inside of you is completely dead if you don't want samples at Costco, I think.
SPEAKER_00And I think that these thoughts come from people who like think that they're perfect, and it's like, no, you are just as annoying roses as somebody else in a different way. And but there are just people who are like, I can't put up with a screaming kid on a plane. Okay, yeah, nobody wants that. I guarantee the parents feel terrible and like put on some noise canceling.
SPEAKER_02That's the thing, too, dude. The parents don't want the kid screaming. No, they don't. What are you talking about, dude?
SPEAKER_00They want the kid to sleep, they want the kid to be chill and just like hang out, and it's super hard. And like the person who's getting the sample, it's like maybe they stop because they grew up in a childhood where they didn't have a whole lot of food and they like trying new things, or maybe they still can't afford to like try different things and they have to get their own.
SPEAKER_02But if they need something, like, yeah, what if they need some like you know, what if they hadn't eaten in like four hours and they're like, oh man, I'm about to freak out. Like, I need to eat a little something. Oh, like a sample.
SPEAKER_00I just feel like everybody's in this uh going through life where like they're like, if there's like any sort of inconvenience, I'm so annoyed by it. And people are like, I'm rushing to get this done, but it's like, what are you actually rushing for? It's like, oh, let's let's let's drive to go check out Pokemon cards across the street.
SPEAKER_02Like right now, do you want to do that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. It would just possibly and we're done. Yeah, but no, it's like let's just walk. Because like it doesn't matter that it's done faster. Like, what are we actually rushing for? Are we gonna enjoy the sun on our face? Are we gonna enjoy timer? Yeah, yeah, we gotta hit the vending machine timer. Like, we're gonna drive. Yeah, but like so many people are like going so fast through life that they don't even think about why they're going so fast.
SPEAKER_02No, it's the like I said earlier, it's the basic stop and smell the roses. Like it nobody, I feel like I was listening to not to bring it back to David Dobrik, but I listened to his podcast views with Jason Nash, and they had a they had a really good episode where they're sitting there talking about like how scary the world is today because you have so much stimulation thrown at your face and so many things, and it's like a new thing, a new thing, a new thing that we don't have time. Like like they were talking about that, where they're like, it's so hard to have time as a human to just sit there and be like, let me be appreciative, or like sit in this thing, because by the next morning it's 18 other things being thrown at you, and like you have to do this, or here's the new thing people are saying, and here's it's just it is wild to think like when you think back to when we were kids, and like we all know the comments we made, uh you stay out till the streetlights come on, and like go hang out with friends, and we're you know, doing whatever. Like to think about how slow time felt then because of the fact that we weren't overstimulated with 18 billion different things, and then now it's like I don't know, dude. Like, there's another podcast I was listening to, I think it was like Crystal Lee.
SPEAKER_00It's the podcast where we just talk about other podcasts.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but Crystal Lee was talking about he's just like he was telling how somebody was just like, There's like this new song that was out, like it's on like the top billboard or whatever, and his friends were just like, Oh, you gotta know this song, you have to know the song by this person. He's just like, you know what? I probably don't. And he was just like, You want to know why? Because every freaking week it's a new artist that I've never heard of that is somehow famous as hell. And I don't know how they are like how they became that or who they are, or they just showed up. And I do feel that way. Where I feel like, man, even if it's like creators, dude, like we'll I'll be scrolling on TikTok and I'm like, how's this person got like 800,000 likes? And I click on it, I'm like, this person got 10 million followers. Who are you? Like, I don't yeah, when did you show up? Like, but it does like uh it's I just wish time was slow again, man.
SPEAKER_00I think a lot of that comes from I bought went into a spiral after saying that, dude. I wish time was slow down. Yeah, no, I think a lot of that is uh people don't moderate how they consume anything anymore. Like literally, it's like you wake up, it's like, okay, I'm gonna look at my phone for 20 minutes before I interact with another human, before I go talk to my kids, before I go do anything. Yeah, and it's like, okay, now I'm out of bed and I have 20 minutes of screen time. Yeah. And then I'm brewing the coffee, but let me oh, I forgot to check this. Let me check my email really quick. And while the coffee's brewing, which is another 10 minutes, it's like, okay, in the first hour waking up, you have 30 minutes of screen time. Yeah. And then you're at work all day, probably working on a computer. Yeah. And then while you're working on your computer, you're listening to hold music because you're waiting for somebody to pick up, and then you get out your phone and you start scrolling.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then you probably add on another two or three hours of screen time while you're at work, and then you come home, you can't wait for everybody to go to sleep, so you can get on your phone, and then you're, you know, you're you're not paying attention to what you're consuming at all. And then you're like, Oh, I'm done with social media. Let me hop on and watch this this person's live stream. And then you're like, Okay, I spent 10 hours on my phone today. Yeah. I had no time to get anything done, and I'm deeply unhappy. Yeah. And it's crazy as you know, we're two people who like we want people, like, I want people to watch and find my stuff on social media, but I want it to be a tool for them, not just one of the things that they consume.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I want them to watch it and feel something and then like go live their life. And we we're just, you know, people joke about being like, I'm so online and stuff like that. But it's like, I mean, some people that's the only way that they can live. Which is whatever. Yeah, which like it's it is what it is. But like, what lives are we sacrificing by like being so online? Is it our San Diego life?
SPEAKER_02Potato farmer. In Idaho? And I and Idaho. In Idaho?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I I don't know.
SPEAKER_02It's just like our lives really. Well, it's funny that you're saying that like I want to be like when you're saying like the effect you want to have from the the content you make and stuff. Like, I think about that too, obviously. And then like, but I also think about the effect that I want to have on people when they meet me in person. So like we have card shows, we're gonna be, yo, uh, what are the dates? We'll be in San Diego at card party. San Diego card party, we'll be there May 22nd to the 25th, something like that. Look it up, Google it. You have Google speaking on the internet. We'll also be in Nashville at a card show there October 9th to the 12th, I believe. But like, so when we're sitting there and we're, I don't care about the real date if you're gonna look it up.
unknownYeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Like when we meet people in person and stuff, whether it's other creators or whether it's like fans and stuff that have come up to us, what I want to do is like, well, first off, I'm also just really already a person who's interested. So when somebody comes and gives us the time of day and be like, you know, you're the same way as me, but like we're not like the creators, which I think we've all seen, whether it's online or in person, where it's like they just kind of go, Oh, cool to meet you, blah, blah, blah, and like brush it off. If somebody's coming up to this, and I like even if they don't say their name, I've noticed you do it, and I know that I do it, I'm like, oh, what's your name? Yeah, like, oh, it's an honor to meet you, and like having it be something where it's not just the an effect from the the content that they're seeing on the screen, but I want it to always be a thing that if people are meeting us in person, that we're touching them even more, it's an actual connection, yeah. And it's like, I guess, an extension. I don't know what it is with extensions, and I love being able it's something that always constantly builds because I think extensions grow things and they have the ability to go deeper than we realize.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So, like having that extension of just human interaction and having it be something where they go, oh damn, because I think that also so many people see stuff online, and when you're doom scrolling and going through all the content and you're digesting so much crap that you you know what, like you just said, like how many videos you watch in a day? 300 something from Doom Scrolling? It's crazy. But like you see these people and you see like content, stop, get affected by one, like you make or or whatever, and then it's like, but when somebody meets you, like you you know in your brain, you're like, Well, I want this to still be an experience because I want them to know that the person that they're watching is just as kind, if not kinder, than the person that they just seen on the screen, or whatever the hell. And I think that like doing that is just so like I want it to be a thing. I think like in terms of like the doom scrolling and the and the addiction to media and content and all this crap, like I think I want it to be like a thing where it's almost a break from that. Like, yes, you're meeting the person from the the screen, but you get to have a moment where it's like breathe, like let's have a moment, like let's create something right.
SPEAKER_00Like, I'm not so online where I'm like, Yeah, oh I gotta move on to the next person. Like, no, like I'm gonna chat with you for a second.
SPEAKER_02That's why, like, when I see things of like famous people doing comic-cons and stuff, and like Elijah Wood or something, which is from Lord of the Rings, which is a movie about these hobbits. Uh well, I know you haven't seen it. I know he hasn't seen Lord of the Rings. I don't know. He hasn't seen Lord of the Rings. I've not. He hasn't seen Lord of the Rings, anyways. Um, amazing movies, so and books, and uh, but like watching stuff like that is something that like friggin' makes me tear up because you're watching somebody who's like an A-list celebrity, millions of dollars, but they're like there's a line of people and they're taking the time each time with each person, and that's just so cool to see.
SPEAKER_00I think that I'm having like so many new thoughts in my head, and I'm afraid to like say them out loud and trust them. You're like, I never want to watch the rings because you don't need to believe everything that you think, but like I think that that's where a lot of content creators, especially Pokemon content creators, that want to build a following go wrong. Oh, 100%. Hey, I hit this and you get the views, and I think like the saying that comes to my head is people won't remember what you say, they'll remember how you make them feel, right? So when you are posting videos where you get a bunch of awesome hits and stuff like that, that doesn't make people follow you because you're making them feel envious, and that's all it is. You're gonna get views because that's the world that we live in, is like entertaining stuff gets views, right? But if you want somebody to follow you, you have to make them feel differently. You have to find a way to connect with them. I think that that's what a lot of people do wrong. They want to create like the best content possible with the coolest hits and stuff, and it's like, yeah, you can get a cool hit. I'm like, I I gotta, you know, I pulled the God pack. And if it would have just been, oh, I pulled the god pack from 151 and that was the video, it's like, okay, cool, lots of people got in God packs. But because I told the story, because I made them feel a connection to the people that they had lost, or the people that they still have that maybe they don't have a connection with anymore, and they want to rekindle that, or them being very grateful that they have amazing siblings that they can do like, gosh, dude, this makes me want to call my brother. This makes me want to call my sister and just tell them how much I love them. Like, that's the stuff. People won't remember that. I pulled a God pack. They'll be like when I meet somebody, they're like, Oh, you're the person, and it's your brother, and like they remember that stuff. And like I met somebody literally yesterday, and he's like, dude, my my dad passed away last year, and your videos have really been helping me like process my own grief. They don't say anything, dude. I love that video where you hit that umbreon. That's not what it is. It's the way that your videos make me feel are extremely helpful. And I think on TikTok you get followers by being entertaining. I think it's a different group of people there, yeah, different user base, right? We've talked about that a little bit. I think on Instagram it's a lot more emo-based storytelling. Like people want to share that stuff with other people.
SPEAKER_02I've thought about that too, where like I wish that I had the time and the finances where I find it annoying sometimes. I'm sure you do, and I'm sure other creators do that really do it like full force as well as posting all the time. But like the fact of posting the same video on TikTok and then on Instagram almost bugs me. Like, I wish I had the the finances and time to where like the videos on each page were two different videos every single day. Exactly. Cause I and it also makes me wonder from like what the experience. or what the following would be built off of that. Because like because then people I think it's also sometimes hard unless you're like Uber big like Deep Pocket Monsters or Alex Ketchum or whatever in terms of just Pokemon. But like you know like unless you're that big your following is always going to be bigger on one page than the other. And I wonder like how that would work in the terms of like yeah like catering and going okay well I'm making TikTok videos for TikTok but I'm making Instagram videos for Instagram and seeing where your followings would lie in terms of greater than the other. And like also it gives that follower that's on Instagram like they might not want to follow you on TikTok because they're like well I'm already seeing the videos on Instagram why do I need to support you over there? Because some people do that where they're just they just don't care. Like it doesn't transfer because it wouldn't need to you're seeing the same shit. And but to sit there and have them go, oh wait he just popped up by my TikTok wait I haven't seen this video. So then imagine they go to your page and they're like whoa Christians these are all different doing so many different things over here. Like that's crazy. Like I think about that a lot too where I'm like I wish I could do that shit. That would be so cool. And just just yeah to see what would happen I guess.
SPEAKER_00I think that like the easy way to start doing that is just pay attention to like what types of videos do well different and then start to you know create those different and which is really hard to create multiple types of videos and stuff like that. And then like not put them on a platform and be like oh this one's just for TikTok. And like I posted before I'm like this one's going to do really well on Instagram and then it does better on TikTok which is rare. And somebody even said to me yesterday they were like I never see Pokemon content creators with more followers on Instagram than they do on TikTok. Say that again I never see more uh I never see content creators with more followers on Instagram than they do on TikTok. It's always the other way around. But not for you. Yours is bigger on Instagram mine's twice as big because this yeah because like you're saying earlier it is a it's a different beast like it really is. Yeah it's like people that's a very shareworthy platform. Hey I want to share this with my friend. Yeah TikTok isn't that same way. No TikTok I know how to I know how to make videos pop more on TikTok now. You know it's a different type of video and it's not the content that I want to create all the time but I'm going to keep posting both places and if it grows slower it grows slower. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But I do think that like well you just passed me buddy so you know look at that dude.
SPEAKER_00Yeah slower slower but I mean yeah dude it's I I do think that if people want to grow more on Instagram the content has to be different.
SPEAKER_02For sure. Christian we're about to read some emails so what I would like you to do is is um if you could tell people where to email us and why to email us.
SPEAKER_00Uh crash outdaddies at gmail.com spell it out all of it no just the daddies crash out daddies d a d i s and uh yeah send us your emails so we can talk about what you send us probably not for advice no but for discussion for discussion stories tell us about your life I love that we still didn't talk about uh Denver card show either now we'll keep them on their toes yeah yeah dude we'll tell them about how freaking uh Coop slapped you in the face dude that'd be crazy dude we'll keep them on the hook yeah um yeah email us at crash outdaddies at gmail.com tell us all your stories if you do want advice if you want to tell us about anything and everything all at once send us uh what you got first email is and this is cool to know dude I have some cool information that you might be interesting uh to your podcast Happily Depressed has good performance in Apple Podcast rankings in the last three days position 134 in the category comedy of Mexico let's go dude thank you to like thanks Mexico Mexico woo dude Mexico get a tour date out there for Mexico that's crazy that was a good first email that was good you feel good dude uh 134 yeah dude comedy um all right let's go we're classified as comedy yeah hi crash out daddies I've been watching you and loving both of you on TikTok and was so excited to see you guys started a podcast I'm writing this to you while listening to the first episode not even 15 minutes in and you've already made a difference for me.
SPEAKER_02I've been struggling with my mental health all my life and lately things have gotten really bad. I live in Israel and as you may or may not know for the past three years we have had constant bombs forcing us into shelters and keeping us up all night terrorist attacks making us terrified to leave home friends losing their lives on the battlefield and on the streets and even in their own homes and threats to our very existence which altogether definitely do not help me take care of myself. I'm also a survivor of sexual assault and grew up in a pretty rough environment with my father being abusive. All of those circumstances made me pretty unstable and dysfunctional lately and I let myself and my home go. I was doom scrolling through TikTok when I saw a video of you guys ripping packs and talking about a starting a podcast about mental health and figured it could help me feel less lonely. It really did. It didn't take more than a few minutes for me to get up from my couch and actually start cleaning and doing dishes while listening to you talking about a shit ton of red MMs which probably sounds pretty small for most people but for me it's a big deal. D I don't know why I want to cry right now dude um when you said you wanted to hear our stories I figured the least I could do is return the favor and write to you and let you in. Hopefully make you feel seen, appreciated because you really are I never expected getting back into Pokemon would lead me to crying in a good way for once. And sending an email to two men living on the other side of the world not knowing I exist. It's really crazy how these things can connect people. Anyways this is becoming a very long email and I'm sure you're going to get lots of these so I just want to say thank you for all you've done and all that you continue doing for allowing yourselves to be exposed in such a human and honest way for who you are and for what you stand for.
SPEAKER_00With great care and love Noah Noah from Israel it's NOA no I wasn't saying like I wasn't saying like Noah like no no no that's a white guy's name what are you doing?
SPEAKER_02No like that's that was like from Israel yeah that's crazy.
SPEAKER_00Makes me want to I almost like started bawling I know you could see me but I was like a fucking holding back okay first things first like insane life to live insane life to live can't even fathom what that would be like and like the constant state of being uncomfortable in so many different ways is like dude kudos to Noah I will add I think showing up yeah I it hits me very in different ways because some people know and if you don't know I was in the military so that sucks and then also I'm a survivor of sexual assault and grew up uh with abuse and everything.
SPEAKER_02And I think that damn dude I love letters where like this it was very heartfelt and touching and then throwing in the line like talking about a shit ton of red MMs dude like that's such a gut yeah and it's like oh that's what resonated oh my god like something like that dude but here here's what I'm thinking is we've made it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah like you can show up for somebody that you know and be an impact in their life in a positive way right yeah but the fact that we can just talk or create any sort of content yeah somebody on the other side of the world sees it as like you made my day brighter you gave me hope yeah you got me out of my bed up and cleaning and like help me with what I'm going through. If that was the one thing that we ever got ever dude that's that's that's enough a beautiful email.
SPEAKER_02That was a beautiful email um holy crap. Dude yeah I mean think about that dude you're just being you I'm just being me and the fact that like we can sit here and talk and be human and just have whatever discussions about whatever things and be funny and be heartfelt it's wild.
SPEAKER_00That's so wild and this isn't like a pat ourselves on the back sort of thing. It's like a this is that email was a real idea to share yeah like because our stuff is helping people all right I think it's hilarious that like when he drafts that email he has to type crash out daddies. Yeah super emotional crying and he's like what is it again crash D A D D Y S.
SPEAKER_02Yeah also check the descriptions everything's in there also every email is going to be filled it's gonna be anonymous we're not saying any names uh so don't worry about that. Hello dearest crash out daddies for your podcast I have a story. You do not need to share it as very heavy. Alright we're done with that one.
SPEAKER_01On to the next one it just ends there. Number three.
SPEAKER_02Yeah on to the next one uh getting it out once in a while helps you heal old wounds by the way loved your first episode also of course I'm sending it from an alternate email so you can never find out who I really am. Please don't try. Crazy okay also I'm not a writer also I'm not a writer so yeah ignore my grammatical mistakes but yeah trigger warning attempted suicide. Okay Crash Out Daddies here's my story. So I was always the kid who was bullied growing up bullied by kinds in school by my abusive ex and bullied by myself because of all of this. I was 16 and quote unquote in love you know that first time you're exposed to it and you think that it's love. You get all these kinds of words of affirmation, attentions, gifts and time. After being bullied my whole life growing up I thought that it was normal until it wasn't. He manipulated me into doing things that I didn't want to do or was comfortable with he cheated on me, he made me feel like it was my fault. Love bombed me after any fighter argument to keep me around threatening to hurt himself and to hurt myself if I ever left. I was told nobody else would want me, that nobody else would care if I was gone, so being with him was the best option because love? This happened until I was eighteen, and one night I came to a realization of a picture he painted me in I was unhappy. Unhappy I wouldn't be loved or couldn't be loved still bullied in school every day for being different, ugly, bucked teeth that's all that the kids said so I believed it. To top it off I was the eldest kid of three where my other two siblings needed more love and attention than I did because they asked for it. I keep everything to myself so clearly I didn't need my parents as much as they did, right? But that night I came to the conclusion I was done. Just done. I believed everything everyone said about me. Lying in bed in my room in the basement alone. My parents didn't even know I was home. My boyfriend at the time thought I was with friends. No one knew where I was no one cares where I was so I did what I thought was the way out I had a Mickey of vodka in my nightstand that I got from a party and used it as my chaser. That night I swallowed every single pill that I could get my hands on. This was premeditated so I had a stockpile over a hundred advil, over a hundred Tylenol, over a hundred mitol and the remaining no name ibuprofen and T3s. I hoped that it would thin my blood enough to make it easier to bleed out and then I did it. I sat there laying in bed with my music playing quietly in my ears while I hoped to bleed out. Sometime later I passed out and woke up hours later on my side on the side that I did the damage to rolling over onto my side actually saved my life. Stopped the bleeding and acted like a barrier I was weak extremely weak checked my phone no texts no calls no one not like they knew what I was going to do or anything but just silence from my quote unquote friends, my family my boyfriend and nothing but waking up and being conscious gave me a second chance. Although I tried to end it just hours earlier I knew that I was given a second chance for a reason. I threw out my bed sheets and bought new ones and nobody knew in my life knew that it happened. I kept myself at school because I didn't listen to anybody I broke up with my ex and I moved out of my parents' house. I was right before grade twelve graduation so I was free essentially no more seeing the kids who bullied me no more seeing that toxic ex and no more feeling like last place and my parents' heart. Fast forward 12 years I'm a mental health advocate and a volunteer and I volunteer my time for those going through similar issues. I'm thriving in my career building up to the top of the largest company its field worldwide that's crazy. I still get my app I still get my episodes but I have people talk me through them with and I don't bottle them in anymore. I feel loved valued respected in my career my life and with my friends I'm grateful and although attempting to end things was the lowest I've ever been as much as I wanted to end in those moments I am grateful for my second chance and I will never take that for granted again. Okay guys love you hey dude can we not have two back to back emails again that make me want to fucking cry dude what the fuck dude I don't obviously incredible story.
SPEAKER_00And I hope that like something like that would give somebody pause if they're thinking about doing something like that. Yeah um my brother passed away I read this book because you know as anyone does I fantasized about having a different life. Right and if I didn't do the things that I regret where I could be now maybe they helped me back and maybe I could have gone and played baseball or maybe if I would have tried harder here or harder there I'd be somewhere else where I thought that I'd really wanted to be but so it's this book called The Midnight Library and this girl she's unhappy so she tries to kill herself. I know what you're talking about. This book's amazing yeah and then she finds herself in a library and every book on the shelf is a different version of her life and everywhere she goes she finds something wrong with it.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_00Spoilers but she ends up just wanting to wake up and go back to her normal life and make the changes that she could to like live the best life that she could and she wouldn't did that. And that's sounds very similar to this is like you tried to escape something.
SPEAKER_02So to the mystery woman who wrote that email if you've not read the Midnight Library read that book. Yeah that's crazy.
SPEAKER_00That was because like there there are so many things and I can only imagine and like I've struggled with mental health heavily but I can only imagine like in that moment you're thinking about all the things you want to do differently.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And like there are so many things that in my life I could do differently in your life that you could do differently where like we can make adjustments and like get closer to the life that we want to live but it's not escapism and dreaming about living a different life altogether because that's not reality. Like we can make changes anybody can make changes to help improve their situation and make their life it's not overnight it's it's over a long time. The life that you were talking about earlier like that's not going to happen overnight. But like you'll get there with consistency.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I feel like there's so much to be said about like just that email and that story. And like kudos to to her for like recognizing that and then turning it into into good and how lucky.
SPEAKER_02Extremely proud of you Mystery Woman that's uh to have that experience in your life and go through that and then to look at yourself where you're at now and being such a mental health advocate and helping others and doing like that's it that's just beyond beautiful. Turning bad into good. Yeah on behalf of Crash Out Daddies we are seriously so proud of you and as messed up as those past things were and apologies that you had to go through that I think that what you're doing now is just that's truly beautiful. Like you went through that so somebody else doesn't have to that's insane. I don't want to read another email just so I think I've had my fill of those two emails emails. I'm afraid I'm gonna open one more email and then the rest of the podcast is just you being like it's okay bud and I'm just crying on the floor.
SPEAKER_01Hello Crash Out Daddies my name is Colt and I'm going through a hard time I just I'm writing an email right now. New one just came through.
SPEAKER_02Yeah just so you guys don't have to go through some depressive shit right now uh here's a knock knock joke dude knock knock who said I mean you are you you loser Crash Outdaddies at gmail.com yeah some stories share your thoughts it doesn't mean we're gonna read every single one but sometimes it is just good to get it out and uh I mean we probably will read every single one that we get yeah at least for a while I gotta go yeah so follow Christian my brother's pack on Instagram and TikTok follow YouTube and YouTube and YouTube uh follow Crash Out Daddies on TikTok and Instagram and follow me Colt C L T P K M M everything's in the description send us stories funny ones too would be great especially after that um please maybe do something kind for someone that maybe wouldn't normally get kindness have you ever we all know somebody who like we're like that person deserves more kindness and maybe you could be the person to give them a good day. Yeah have I seen what um Haley Joel Asmet Kevin Spacey movie you help one person you help three people and those three people have to help three people that's a pyramid scheme. It is but it was a pyramid scheme for kindness and doing stuff. What the fuck was that movie dude? It's a really good movie. Spoiler alert he's a little kid and he dies at the end of the movie. It's a very sad movie. Pay it forward. Christian has a PO box in his bio uh if you ever want to send anything to that as well just uh doesn't need to be a Pokemon could be whatever you want I know that people like to show thanks with drawn pictures or anything like that. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00We should have like a I was thinking I'm gonna an art section.
SPEAKER_02Uh Sydney drew me that photo I'm gonna hang it up at some point. Not your wife Sydney but Sydney drew draws me pictures yeah that'd be fun dude yeah P.O.
SPEAKER_00Box put my name on there or my brother's pack. If you put Crash Had Daddy's it won't get accepted I'll see if they can change that though. Yeah yeah just put Christian's name Christian just put Christian on there that's easy or my brother's pack 5023 West 120th Avenue number 183 Broomfield Colorado just check his bio shut up dude just check his shut up check is buying what if what if that helps somebody they're like I'm not gonna go check in what if somebody's what if somebody's feeling like what if they're like oh they start talking about it I'm gonna start doing something and then right when they're like who do I make this out to they're like oh Christian's sharing the address and then they get to the end and they're like what's a zip and then you just hear shut up they just hear shut up Wow is that how I sound no shut I wanted to do that. Okay. Sorry I was just trying to be helpful. Let's go if if that even helped one person it would have been worth it Colt. And now they get to hear us bicker at the end after the end of a beautiful conversation and podcast. Was it beautiful?
SPEAKER_03Better than the last one I'm fucking deleting that you've been riding with happily depressed depressed