Shelby & Logan

Some stories are shaped by service. Shelby and Logan’s is shaped by service and by love — the kind that survives distance, deployments, uncertainty, and the weight of responsibility. Shelby speaks with the clarity of someone who has led and endured. Logan brings the perspective of a soldier still in the rhythm of active duty. Together, they share a portrait of a marriage built on grit, grace, and the determination to keep choosing each other. Their voices, separate and together, reveal what it truly means to hold the line as a family.

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Welcome to Fireline, a place where the stories of service are honored with dignity, truth, and the quiet strength they deserve. Here we sit with the people who have lived it the soldiers, medics, firefighters, police officers, and families who carry the weight of service in ways most never see. These are their stories, their memories, their lived experiences. This is Fire Line. Some stories don't just run parallel, they braid together. Shelby and Logan are two lives shape by service, by sacrifice, and by the quiet strength it takes to keep showing up for each other. Shelby's journey carries the echoes of leadership, loss, and transformation. Logan's path reflects the ongoing reality of active duty, the distance, the uncertainty, and the pride that never quite leaves your voice. This episode brings their stories into one space. Not polished, not rehearsed, just honest, just human. A portrait of a family who has carried the weight and carried each other. When you think about your time in uniform, what part of that identity st still live in you today? I think what still lived in me today would be loyalty and my work ethic. And if you don't process certain things at a certain time, like you're affecting somebody's life. So I always go into every day knowing that everybody's human and we do the best that we can, timely, efficient. And so I would say loyalty and work ethic and treating people with respect and kindness. How would you describe the kind of leader you were as an NCO? I I think it took me. I I became a leader very, very young. So I was a corporal and I was running my own shop. I think there was a lot of growing pains and a lot of growing up that I needed to do because it wasn't about the power. It was about teaching and making the shop and the soldiers under me understand that what we do is important, even if it doesn't seem important if it's just moving paper around. I struggled a little bit as a leader, but I think eventually I got a ton of respect because I showed everybody respect. And I think at the end I was I was a good leader. Okay. So Alaska, it was a turning point for you. So without going into anything you don't want to share, how would you describe who you were before Alaska and who you were after? When I was in Alaska, I was thriving. I thought I was a really good MCO, a great friend. I was kind of the the point, the the person everybody would go to when they needed something done or advice. I was always there to help people and leadership and soldiers. I think the turning point for me was when I had witnessed a suicide and I had been with this particular individual for months. We were friends for months before the event happened. And I saw that the leadership really didn't care or kind of brushed it off, or just kind of just passed them around. And then and then when it happened, they gave me an award and and told me to PCS. I I think that's when I realized that the organization that I love so dearly really only saw it those numbers, right? We were individuals, they didn't want to, they they didn't want to help, they just saw like as a big problem. And and eventually I did PCS and I and then uh I went to South Carolina where it just continued to decline. I didn't have any faith in the system anymore, so I did get out, and it was the best thing for me emotionally and mentally, but I do miss it. I do miss being in the military and being in the army. I miss my job most of all. I loved helping everybody, helping soldiers and progress in their career and helping their families. So that's what I missed the most. Cody said you were in Qatar, you deployed to Qatar. Yes? Again. What stands out about most when you think about your year in Qatar? Oh man, and that was such an honor for me because I was up against peers and more senior HR personnel, and I was picked just because my name was out there and everybody knew that I was really good at my job. So I was picked, I was a still a corporal or a newly sergeant. I don't r really remember, but I was pretty brand new into the NCO Corps when I was selected above my peers. And I went over there and I was working in the embassy alongside the ambassador, and I worked for the Office of Military Cooperation. We were working with the Marines and the Air Force and the Navy, and it was such a c like clarity pinpoint for me because I realized there's just so much out there. There's it was such bigger than working at a battery or a battalion level. Um, and I can't really go into too much detail what I did over there for the embassy, but that was probably the best experience I've ever had. And how did that shape your understanding of service or yourself? Um, I think I grew up a lot in Qatar. I was able to work with a lot of VIPs that were coming in, and it was just a it was just a whole different level of professionalism and um, you know, working across the different military branches just really made me see the bigger picture and um how we all can come together and collaborate and and work in one, you know, sort of entity, you know, separately. Yeah. Okay, so transitioning out, obviously, going to boot camp and going into military is a shock to most people because it's something totally new. They break you down, they they build you back up. So transitioning out, what surprised you most about leaving the military? Uh a lot, actually. It was kind of a wake-up call, like um like cold water was poured over me. Because I realized how the military really does kind of brainwash you, like not in a bad way, but they break you down in boot camp and then build you up to have this mindset and um how to carry yourself. You don't really have a voice, you know, you can't do a lot of things. So getting out of the military and realizing, oh, I can go travel without getting permission. Oh, I can go to a doctor's appointment and not bring, you know, a piece of paper back to my boss. Um, it was it was just a big wake-up call that I'm not under anybody's thumb anymore. I'm kind of my own individual, my own person now. And it took me a long time to really grow into myself because I was I was so stuck in in the mindset of you're replaceable, you're not good enough, you're not doing good enough. Um, then it it took me a really long time to find find my worth again. And what did what did you grieve the most when you got out? I I think I grieved a lot of losing structure. You know, there was um I I really enjoy structure. I really enjoy like this is what you do when you do it, you know, where you do it. I do I do miss that the most. I miss the camaraderie. I miss I I particularly miss my soldiers because we have such a great team. Um, but you know, I just miss I just miss the opportunities, the different classes and trainings and um meeting new people and I miss the structure of it. And what did you feel relieved to sit down? Um I was relieved to to be around adults that cared about me, right? I wasn't in a toxic environment anymore. You know, I I I I worked alongside with coworkers and and my boss that that really cared about my well-being and really cared about the success of where I'm going. Nobody was trying to outrank anybody else, nobody was trying to, you know, get promoted before anybody else. And um, that that was kind of a relief. Like I wasn't around the toxicity anymore. So in life as a military spouse, so you went from active duty, being a military person, and and and not that you weren't a military spouse then because you were, but you were also military. So what's it like now? How's how's being on the home front changed your understanding of service? Uh, you know, our our spouses do not get enough credit. It is shocking to the system to have my husband deployed and me be back here, just you know, working as a civilian and and dealing with the kids. Um, our our spouses and our dependents do not get enough credit for, you know, the long nights and the tears and you know, doing everything around the house. Um that's that's what's really opened my eyes. And and also what's opened up my eyes is that if I go to an appointment and I'm like, oh, well, my insurance is VA, and they're like, oh no, like you you're tri-care, and I'm like, no, no, I I was in the service. Like, I get that a lot. Like, people don't rec still recognize women can be in the military, or I'll go around my husband's friends and they'll try me explaining the military to me. And I'm like, Yeah, I got it. I was in the field artillery, you know, too. I I was in the military. Um, so I I get that a lot as well. Yeah. And what do you wish active duty soldiers understood about spouses holding down the fort? Oh, we're out here in the heat and sleeping on the ground, like you're in the house taking care of everything. I'm worse off than you. And I wish active duty military kind of like took a step back and and realized what all like them leaving puts on the shoulders of everybody else because you're doing essentially a two-person role while they're you know deployed or in training. Um, so uh just giving a little bit more grace to the spouses, you know, a little bit more understanding and um stop with the comparison is what I would wish that would happen. And so Cody, uh you were his NCO in Alaska, yes. Yes. What do you remember about leaving him? Um, he was one of my best soldiers. Um I he always took direction very greatly. Um he would always push me. He'd be like, Well, is that right? Or is there a better way to do this? And he would always push me to either look into things or you know, think outside the box. And I always respected that about Newbie because you you want to be able to listen to your soldiers and you want your soldiers to feel comfortable enough to, you know, kind of go against your ideas and bring up their own ideas. Um, but he was always willing to, you know, help out or do anything or try something new and learn a new system and go to a training. Um, you he was always my right here. And so what in in closing for your section, what do you hope people understand about women who serve and women who continue serving after the uniform comes off? I I think there's a lot of like bad stigmatism around women in the military. I know for me personally, when I came in, I had an old 90s OCO, and and my first day, he was like, You're either gonna be a bitch or you're gonna be a whore. You need to pick which one you're gonna be today. And I was like, No, that's not, I'm not gonna be either one of those. I'm gonna show who I am and my value and my worth through kindness and my work ethic. So I just I I want the the bad rap for the females to kind of go away from the military. They need to see them not just as females, but like the individual. And then after the uniform comes off, like we don't stop working. We're you know, we're mothers or you know, we're other family members, and we deserve respect too. We need grace and understanding and to be seen as people. And now, is there anything that um you want just the general the people out there going to be listening um to know about soldiers, about military personnel in general? I think a lot of military personnel are are struggling mentally. I think there's a lot of um help that needs to go go into some of these organizations. Um, we need to uh really listen to soldiers when they're saying they're they're down or they're they're not feeling right and they need help. We need to like act on that. And we need to we really need to lower down these suicides because there's every life is precious and and nobody should have to go through an experience that me and my fellow um service members went through on that on that day. Myself and my community and where I came from. Okay. In a way. So what originally do you drew you to the military? I always wanted to join the military. I always knew that I was gonna join the army. I've lived it my whole life. My father was in the navy, my uncle was in the navy. I always wanted to do it, and I'm super happy than I did, and what it has made me in the way it has changed me. And so what moments or assignments have shaped you the most so far? I'm sorry to say that again. What moments or assignments have shaped you the most so far? I'll send my first assignment, which was here at Fort Polk, Louisiana, the original 4th Brigade, 10th Mountain, before they reflacked at 310. I had some of the best NCOs and officers I've ever worked with. And then I think what opened my eyes the most was Alaska, being part of 28SA and 1st Brigade 22 Striker. I really became the person that I am now there with how much experience of life I was able to try and like the new steps of living on the last frontier and then experiencing extreme colds and lifestyle change that I had. I really enjoyed that and like the new things happening. And then of course, coming of age, I was past 26 then, so like I was really starting to find myself. And granted, I've had some roots built when I was stationed at Fort Campbell before Alaska, with my mentality of being an NCO and a field artillery candid crew member, that drove me to be a better person in Alaska, which drove me to be a better person today, if that makes sense. Yeah. And and how has being TDY? You just came back from the field. So how has being TDY affected your sense of home, routine, or connections? I grew up in a different army. I came in the height of the surge for Afghanistan, which was twenty I think 2009 to 2013, 14, maybe 15. So the way that I grew up in the military, it was drastically different than say say Shelby, for example, because we have different MOSs, different backgrounds, how we grew up, things like that. We have different NCOs. And of course, our our genders are different, so like she has different experiences that I don't have. I grew up in a male dominant MOS, and when I first came in, females weren't allowed in the military in combat arms. So we I grew up I grew up in a military where it was very hard stricken, very hard. This is what we do, because it's in my MOS, the date, the branch name, the field artillery, so I expected to be in the field a lot. I view it now as I get up in the ranks and very older in my military service, that I it doesn't bother me. I know it's my job, it's what I'm paid to do. Do I like doing it? No. However, like I know what I'm doing and I'm good at what I do, but I have a great support system at home that allows me to do that with no worries. How how has being married to someone who also served changed the way you see your own career? Shelly has like helped me even before we got married, we had a working relationship, and now I mean I still call her as a bouquet star and I'll be like, hey, I need help with this, or like, what do you think about this? Or how would I approach this from her standpoint and her experiences? And it is it has helped me as a leader to figure out problems and network more. And what strengths do you see in Shelby that come from her time in uniform? The understanding of what I go through. I think that's probably the biggest strength that she has, or that I think that she has with it. And then like understanding my frustrations when I come home and vent my frustrations that she can understand where I'm coming from and like how I approach problems. And what does support look like between the two of you when one of you is away? I think right now we have a great dynamic on how we do things. We adjust our schedules when need be. We do our best to mitigate any problems necessary. So And what's been the most challenging season of your service? And like like when you say season, you're talking about like time frame or your time in the service. What's been the most challenging part of that for you? I'd have to think about that one. I guess like deployment-wise, I've been to many combat deployments, and then this past rotation I did was in Europe, and it was a whole different lifestyle of a deployment, and it was a very new experience. I think it would be more challenging then because I was so available, but I wasn't at the same time. And what helps you stay grounded when the job pulls you in multiple directions? I think I think our family here does. I have a bad way of hyper-focusing. And Shelby kind of reels me back in and be like, hey, like, we gotta think about our entire family when we make decisions, or that's probably my biggest hurdle to get over, is I get so hyper-focused on the job that I don't realize that like I have a life outside the military and a family outside the military. And it's good to have that grounding effect of her and the kids to say, like, hey, you're still a father, the army's not gonna be forever. So, like, we gotta we gotta work through it this way. Yeah. And what have you learned about yourself through your military life? I learned that I can be really loyal and very arrogant at the same time. So I know I'm good at what I do, and I'm good at taking care of problems and putting out fires, quote unquote. Putting out fires means like problem solving. I'm very good at those things now, and like it does transpire into my personal life of like if a natural disaster, or like when you have a bad storm, or like when something's happening, I'm I'm very good at solving those problems with no emotion. And that can be also a bad day because I have no emotion with it. I make on the spot decisions versus thinking through problems. But that also goes with my job because I have to do that quite often in my job, so it it could be a a double edged sword. And what do you hope your future self remembers about this chapter now? I have like turned a page in my military career where I have started to take care of myself a little bit more and push other junior soldiers below me that are subordinate to me to do what I do. So I'm hoping to continue that and like find a way to keep that mentality. So I try to focus on instilling trust and confidence and validating those junior leaders underneath me to do the job and not see or not have my hands in the decision-making process or problem solving. But I'm also getting very late in my career, so I'm about to hit 15 years. So now I have to focus on myself because no one else is going to focus on me. Yeah. From my from the army sense. Yeah. So are you gonna get out after 20? Are you gonna go 30 or I I don't I as of right now, my decision is 20 years. It depends on the administrations and our future conflicts in the world and then like what is best for the family. I'm really sick and tired of missing things and like not being part of their lives more. And I'm hoping this next assignment that I have, I'm I'm going to have that ability. So that's really gonna open my eyes even more on what can be achieved while still being the military, not in the operational sets. Now, are you guys getting ready to PCS? Yes, I have an assignment to the United States Military Academy. Oh here. Yes, so I'm going to be a TAC NCO, which is like I would run cadets, not not fully run them, but like administratively and like punishment-wise or mentorship more likely. Yeah. So it's gonna be a different assignment that I've never done before. So this is a whole new world for you. Oh, that's cool. So what do you want your children, future children, or younger soldiers to understand about the life you've lived in uniform? I think one thing that I would like people to understand about my military service is that I have been there when at the height of GWAT, the war and terrorism, and understand what complacency and laziness and mediocracy will get you. And that's a very hard thing to instill in junior soldiers nowadays because they don't have that mentality or like understand that simple tasks seem redundant or nonchalant, that this could save their lives in the future, or like this could have an impact on something. So, how has I I know when I was in in the 80s, it's changed a lot. Females definitely couldn't go in combat, even some non-combat roles they couldn't do. But the mentality of people going into boot camp today, how is that different from when you went in? So that's that's a very hard question to answer. I came in that females were allowed to be in the same platoon as us in basic training. Oh, really? Wow. However, when I huh? I said, really? Yeah. So we had females in my platoon. However, the only females in my unit, like when I got to an actual unit, were like support MOSs, like like PLL clerks, or I think that was it. I think that's the only females I had when I first arrived in my first unit were in the the FSC, which was the Ford Support Company. That was it. That was pretty much it. So like everybody else was a very male MOS, even like the our supply clerks are S1 or S2, S3, S4, S6. It was all male dominated, and we didn't have much interaction with female soldiers, not until I didn't get a female officer, field artillery officer, until 2018. That was the very first one I've ever interacted with. At that point, I believe they started to incorporate females into combat arms. I just didn't experience it until actually here 2023 was the first time I ever had a junior enlisted female soldier under my authority. So it was it was a very eye-opener to say, yeah, like we had supply clerks on our batteries that were females or like S1 that were females, hence that's where I met Shelby. Things like that. That interaction's a lot different than actually having 13 Bravo female soldiers or 13 Julietes. So it's it's been a very progressive change in the last 14 years in my military service. And what do you wish people understood about people who serve? That we all have the idea of serving, and like we want to be I think everybody wants a greater part of something or like to be recognized for that. And I think a lot of junior listed want that validation of serving. I think the older that we get in the military or in life in general, less validation is needed. So like you see a big push nowadays with social media, so like everybody's posting on that with them being in uniform and hey, I made it through basic and AIT, like, cool, grand, that's great. Does the majority of the population care? No. I think now that the government has pushed to a non-global war and terrorism mentality, things have changed. So like joining the military seems just like another day of life. We are now speaking with Shelby and Logan about life as a military couple and raising a family when both parents serve. Okay. So how did you guys meet and what stood out about each other right away? I'll answer the phone. So I first met Shelby, I was taking a soldier to S1, and his name was Nicholas Frost. I remember exactly who it was, and Devin Franklin. Where she was a I walked into S1, I was a section chief at the time, which is a 30-level position, 13 Bravo, and it was kind of a new staff sergeant, and I brought them in to do something with S1. Something we were we were told to do by our first sergeant. And Shelby at the time greeted us, and she took the soldiers back to go see the OIC of S1, which I think was Captain Humphreys at the time. And then me and her stuck up a conversation in the S1 billet. So what stood out to you about her? She was very nice and like very formal. And most interactions with S1 I've ever had have not been like that. So that's what stood out to me. And Shelby, what stood out about Logan to you? To be completely honest, I don't really remember our first interaction because I I I would see so many people during the day, but Logan would would keep coming back to me to help a lot of his soldiers, or what I started to do when anything needed to be like mass updated for the batteries, I would personally go down to the to their AO to get the soldiers through faster and update their stuff. So we just kind of like had a friendship and because he he what stood out to me was he he really cared about his soldiers. He really wanted to get all their stuff done, not just because of he was told to, but he would mentor the soldiers and say, hey, like you need this, this, and this to be able to get promoted, make sure you get this updated. So he was uh I that really stood out to me because not a lot of leaders care about their soldiers or progressing them. So that's what stood out to me is that he he really did have a genuine genuine care for his subordinates. And what do you guys what do you guys admire about each other's approach to service? What did you admire about it when you first met? I I had not ironed Logan's roach on how he viewed things. He was very direct, no shit, this is what we have to do, this is life and death. You have to train how you fight, but at the same time cared about them as people and as a individual and person. So I have a different mentality where I believe that everybody in the military has their job and then how they everybody supports someone in some way. And what I mean by that is I don't look down upon someone's MOS and what they do. So like my approach to Shelby as an S1 was I need her to complete what I need to do. And I I would view that the same as like I need supply or whatever. Like I I can't function by myself. Right. And and that's a very admirable thing. It sounds the way it came off on there, it sounded really shitty to be honest with you, but that's not what I meant at all. But what I mean is like I can't do my job without someone else. Right. So So what was that's how I yeah what was it like navigating a marriage where both of you wore the uniform? It it was very fucking hard to I'm sorry, excuse me. It was very hard. I have never been in a long distance relationship like that before. And it was very new, it was very, very hard on us, or for me it was, because now we had two two houses, two financial, and we had to figure out how we were going to see each other and maintain our relationship through a cell phone. Yeah, and that was very challenging and uh very hard to do mentally, physically, and emotionally. But we made it work, and that's all that matters. Yeah. Nat did they did they try to keep you guys together like at the same base once you were married? Like with you transferred, and then did you guys get to go together or so? We had PCS. He went to Texas to Fort Hood, and I went to South Carolina to work at the NCO Academy on Fort Jackson. So we got married after we both had TCS, and we it like you said, it was very hard being out of twelve 18 hours separated and then living through a cell phone, and then he deployed to Iraq. So I was in South Carolina, he was there, and trying as a new married couple, obviously we had a friendship, we had a working relationship, and then we had a romantic relationship before we got married, but that was together. But then once we got married, it was it was very difficult to like navigate that as newlyweds separated. And the army didn't really try to put us together, and I was at such a low point because this was right after the the suicide that I was just like, what, let's not even put in the packet to relocate. I'm just gonna get out. So we didn't even really try to go down the army's resources to stay together while in because we were just on a different path. When you were both in? Shelby got out when I'm trying to remember, geez. You got really crowded at times. Well, I think I was married when I got promoted. Oh yeah. She she got out while I was still in and we were separated, and then she moved right to Texas. So like we didn't have much of that. I was also in a special unit that allowed me to have a lot of free time, and like it was not an it was an operational unit, but it was a different type. So I was able to do things a lot more than I would in like a normal unit. So like our timelines matched up pretty well to where I was able to do what I needed to do and get her, help her out of the army to move her to Texas. Yeah. And I think from my perspective, when we were dating and I was an E5 and he was an A6, but I was the MCOIC of the shop, and he was running his section, we were obviously different ranks, but the dynamic of our positions were were very similar. They were very parallel. So we had different jobs, obviously, and different ranks, but you know, the mindset of we have soldiers under us, and it was never like a power struggle, like within our relationship, but we would bounce idea off each other and kind of grow into leaders together. Okay. And so what does support look like in your home now, emotionally, practically, and spiritually? What does that look like for you guys? Like when he's away, because I mean you you're home now, and you he gets deployed or he goes TDY for however long they send in mil military don't care. Five years, okay. You could be away for that long. They don't care. So how does it, what does support look like in your home for that now? I think the support is really good because if he says, hey, I have to go into work or hey, I have to do this field problem that wasn't on the training calendar, like I there's a lot of grades and understanding because like I understand the system, I understand how how things work. So this the support, there's no like, oh, are you serious? Can't you just tell the leadership this, this, and this? But no, like there is none of that, there's no pushback, there's no like frustration on my end. So him and I, if he has to deploy, like we sit the kids down and we talk about it, and it's like, hey, this is this is just how it is. And and luckily, like all of our kids have grown up in lifestyle, either with me and Logan or just separately and together. So it's it's a really good support system at home. Like he understands what I'm doing with that whole or and and vice versa. We are very we are very spiritual, we we are religious, and we believe that things happen through a region, and we're very godly people. So we always try to approach everything with clarity, communication, and our sex. And how old are your children? Do I mean are they old enough? Are they old enough to understand what Logan does or when he deploys and that stuff? Are they old enough to understand that? So we have a 16-year-old, and then we have a an 11-year-old, a 10-year-old, a six-year-old, a three-year-old, and then an unborn baby. So our our older kids 100% understand. Our six-year-old, he gets it, but he doesn't grasp like the time frame. So he understands that daddy has to leave in this and that, but he doesn't understand like why for so long. I mean, our three-year-old obviously doesn't really get it. But yeah, they they all have a really good understanding. And like I said, they've all grown up with us being in the military. So this is it's nothing new to them. And our military kids, the resilience is just on a whole nother level across all the services. And and they're they're just they're they're they're great kids, and they we have bad days, we have tears, we have we miss daddy, and it's it's it's hard to navigate how to approach certain things when that does come up. Yeah. So what do you guys wish people understood about the strengths it takes to be the one at home? Or even for Logan, the one gone. What do you wish it that people understood about that? That it that it really sucks, to be honest with you. Like, and the only job that I could see that has any kind of comparison is like offshore offshore oil riggers or like people that work on the oil rigs and they have to go out for months. They go on for like three weeks on, couple weeks off, or tugboaters or whatever, like river barge liners, they do the same thing. So there's a miss a huge misunderstanding with that. Being gone does take a toll, and then you have to relearn every time you come home the things that your kids do, their habits, their dislikes, their likes, what you know, the whatever the case may be. So that is the biggest thing that people don't understand is like, yeah, we can put our lives on pause, but the lives at home don't change. I mean, they I'm sorry, they do change, they they continue on. I can go out for three months at a time and nothing will change for me. Right. But the home life changes. And I think that's a big misconception of what people don't understand. I I agree. I was gonna say the same thing, like when he deploys or goes to the field, like he's kind of stuck on the family that he left and when he comes back, it's like the kids have changed. They've kind of grown up, they have it get a little bit harder mentally and emotionally because daddy's gone. So the it it is kind of the integration process is on a whole nother level. Like that was very new for me because prior to this deployment, I was the one coming back in and I was the one reintegrating, and now I'm having to help be a mediator and and really drive the family to reintegration. And and that's it's it's very, very hard, and it takes longer than I think most people think it does. I think it took us a good six months when he came back from deployment to really get in the groove and for the kids to stop coming just to me and and really look toward daddy's home, let's go ask him questions, let's go ask him for help. It it it takes a it takes a lot longer than it it it um it feels. And so how has shirt how has service shaped your marriage? Cool thing about it is we get to experience new things, like with the moving every three years, different assignments, whatever, deployments, non-deployments, whatever. So that's fun. We're both really excited for New York. Something brand new to both of us. And I think now it has shaped our marriage and the fact that I always had the expectation of leading, and I think Shelby has foreseen that or like has that in the back of her mind at any given time. Like, like, for example, I wasn't planning on going to the field next week. I told her yesterday or day before, one of the two, I can't remember. I was like, hey, this is going to happen now. And then it was like there was no blip. It was like, okay, well, I hope you have fun. What do you do, what you gotta do? And like there's no scrambling anymore. It's it's just all right, I'll see you when you get back, you know, kind of thing. So and what values for the military show up in the way you love each other? I think honor and commitment and being loyal it all shows up in our marriage. I think we always try to not pull in the military experience, but just pull in, like, hey, like we are committed to each other. This is what we signed up for. Gary Thickens in we're gonna make it work, even if we have to adapt to a new form of communication or a new routine, or we always tackle things together as a team. I think we would have really struggled if we both didn't have those same values instilled in us of like adaptability and perseverance and loyalty. I think we would have really struggled as a couple. And so that's really what we've both both have brought into the marriage. And what traditions or rituals keep you grounded as a family? I think scheduling or like just. re repetition does like getting on a set of hard like dates, times, whatever, having that repetition and knowing what needs to happen like helps ground us but keep us like we can always go back to the basics of life to keep moving forward with whatever flexibility that we have. And what kind of life are you building now together with one foot still in the military and one foot out? So we are definitely we have a bunch of kids and we're we're really showing them that dedication and showing grace to people and and being resilient is how the m the life we're moving toward because like we have mentioned with Wilgham still being in it it doesn't have to be a breakdown. It doesn't have to be such an emotional roller coaster every time he leaves to to understand things are going to pop up not with just the military but in life itself that's going to throw a curveball into the plans and teaching the kids have backup plans, have A B C D E options. It's not you don't have to have this picture perfect future in mind. When I was growing up I was always told you have to go to college you have to go to an Ivy League you have to have these sports and scholarships and all the things but it doesn't have to be that way. You can pick your own your own future you can pick your hobbies and your core skills and and adapt to how life changes and how you grow up and how do you view things so I think the future that we're building is in relation to the military is to to keep your head on this level expect the unexpected always and and and don't stumble or say this isn't fair. It's just life roll with the punches and keep striving to the end goal and that's the future we're building. And what do you hope your story shows other dual military couples or transitioning families? And if they just stick with it'll get through it. And I think that it's gonna things come in seasons there's good seasons there's really bad seasons there's horrible degree stations horrible moves but it's what you make it and it don't block yourself. Don't make it harder than it needs to be and just go with it with understanding respect and love. And when you think about your journey individually and together what are you most proud of? I'm proud of Shelby I'm proud of where we started and who we are today and how we're raising our kids together is what I'm most proud of and I will always be proud of my military service. I am extremely proud of Logan's and where he's going and I'm so excited to see where he ends up thank you for spending time with us if this story resonated with you share it with someone who understands the quiet cost of service. And remember service is a lineage a legacy and a thread that connects us more than we realize. Until next time stay safe stay human and keep the stories alive