Ep 2: We Messed Up Already

In this episode, we unpack Joey’s failed business plan, revisit some of Cam’s more embarrassing ballet moments, and answer a few questions people have been wanting to know.

It’s chaotic, slightly questionable, and very much on brand - more stories, more laughs, and not a lot of structure.

Follow us and send in your questions and feedback - we’ll feature the best ones in future episodes.

The views expressed are our own and don’t reflect any organisations we’re affiliated with.

Follow us and send in your questions and feedback. We'll feature the best ones in future episodes

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Sandwich bags. Oh my god. Ziploc sandwich.

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Jolly dude.

SPEAKER_03 0:04

Very posh and high class mind.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Going to five five-star restaurants in Snaplock bags.

SPEAKER_03 0:11

Yeah, that's it. I'll rock up in my trench coat, open it up. Is this what you want? Oh no, we stuffed up. Big time. Big time. If you heard the introduction from our last one, unprepared.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

Unprepared?

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Unprepared. Unqualified.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Unprepared.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Yeah. Unqualified. We recorded this whole episode, episode two, and we had no volume. We didn't really hit record. So we've done the whole podcast already. So this is technically, this is episode three.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

Technically. Yeah, let's say this is episode three. Oh man.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

We were pumped. It was actually it was probably our best one yet.

SPEAKER_03 1:02

It was by far the best podcast I've ever done.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Anyone would have listened. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:07

Yeah. It was it was exceptional. And it's gone. It was what four hours of our life. Four hours? Wow. How long was it? Absolutely not. An hour easy. Oh, an hour of our life. Just wasted. Yeah. Just talking. But I mean, I like talking to you anyway, so it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

So I invited Joey back to re-record. Yeah. Oh, mate. We talked we talked so much rubbish, but we talked about you know, on last episode, we talked about a bunch of business ideas that have fallen short because you know that's what friends do. You talk about business ideas. Oh, yeah. And you you brought up the time when I came to your house and you showed me your microgreen farm. My god. This this was a bad time for Joey.

SPEAKER_03 1:49

This is really bad. So obviously, you have a fantastic idea, and I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna do this, right? So I do a bunch of research, I'll say a month research on microgreens, and what that is, it looks like a a four-leaf clover, let's say, you know. Um, but what you do with this microgreen is at fancy restaurants nice, yeah, you you get like your fancy plate with your fancy dish. Scallops, you know, you get your scallop on there with a schmear of tomato sauce on the side.

SPEAKER_02 2:26

It's not tomato sauce in a fancy restaurant. Oh but on top of that scallop is what?

SPEAKER_03 2:35

Your is the microgreens.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

And you researched this thinking that you were gonna make a penny and a buck from these microgreens because you're like, oh, they're so expensive and really hard to come by.

SPEAKER_03 2:46

They're very expensive, hard to come by. I'm gonna go hit up all these fancy restaurants smearing tomato sauce on their plates and just sprinkle a bit of my microgreens on top. You know, Joey's microgreens.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

So he tells me this story about how he comes. Well, first off, he comes into work and he goes, mate, have you heard of microgreens? He said, Do you want to get in with the business? I'm growing microgreens. And I said, Absolutely not. And I swing by your house and you've got your setup. Tell it, tell the listeners how you've done your setup for the microgreens.

SPEAKER_03 3:16

Alright, so Cam comes around mine, I click my garage door button, my roll up, my roller door rolls up. It looks like a weed lab. I've got I've got my my lawn mama. I've got my lawn mama, my like petrol, my motorbike, like just crap everywhere, like oil, everything, and then and then in the corner.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

It was like out of a scene from a movie because it was it was like the you know, the and then by the window was your micro ingredients with the lamp on top.

SPEAKER_03 3:58

Little lamp. That's it. And then oh, you can just hear the Snoop Dogg music just playing while I'm just harvesting this this stuff. Anyway, it takes about a week to grow, right? You sprinkle the seeds, you get the seeds. And you bought you bought the seeds from a dealer. Yeah, oh yeah. Actually in the alleyway, you know. By the train station, you know. No, like um you yeah, you buy the seed from the seed guy. I don't honestly.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

Actually, a seed guy.

SPEAKER_03 4:26

Yeah, you didn't just go to Bunnings.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

No, no, no, you've got to buy these seeds from Oh, so you're actually you were researching it hardcore. Hardcore.

SPEAKER_03 4:34

Yeah, yeah, and then obviously you plant them in this in this thing. And I've unfortunately I put a bit of money into this. It hurts. Because I thought I was gonna.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

You thought you were gonna make bank and make it big. And make it big. So you you got to the point where you actually grew the microgreens, but where what was your what what do you do after that? Once you've grown them, what do you do? Well, obviously you harvest them, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:58

You know, yep. You harvest them and then you distribute it. But you didn't think about the distribution aspect at all, at all. So I'm harvesting them and I'm like, wait, hold on, what am I gonna put them in? Sandwich bags.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Oh my gosh, Jolly, Joey, dude.

SPEAKER_03 5:16

Very posh and high class mind.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Going to five five-star restaurants in snaplock bags.

SPEAKER_03 5:22

Yeah, that's it. I'll rock up in my trench coat, open it up. Is this what you want? I've got what you want. Micro greens. Micro greens. And like, you know, obviously looking around the corners and sunny's on, you know, trench coat. Yeah. But I didn't do any of that. I harvested it and just And then you ate it yourself. Ate it myself and on.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Did they taste good? Or taste like petrol is that's why I've got issues. People people watch us perform, right? And they all see the the glitz and the glamour on like on the stage, but they don't know half of what goes on backstage. And we've got some stories, and this is why we wanted to start the podcast in the first place is to tell stories and inside scoop about all the like mess-ups and stuff ups that happen on and off stage, yeah, and some of the fails and like backstage drama. So I thought of a segment idea stage fails. Stage fails.

SPEAKER_03 6:29

I like it.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

So this this is a few years back, and um at the time, a lot of the dancers were having gastro problems. Oh, what is this in China? No, no, no, no, this is a different different story. Oh, okay, yeah, no. And um, anyway, I I come on stage and we're doing this dance, and I'm coming on to the front and I'm dancing with a girl, and we do these like tonlevays, which is like some little jumps, and we're holding hands, and we're really happy. Um, and then we come forward. I'm not happy for much longer. Get ready. And my sister was watching the show, which makes it even more funny, and I'll explain. So we tomlovay forward, we jump forward, and I'm with the girl, and I've got a smile on my face, and I do the first lift, and I lift her up and put her down, and as I put her down, I go, oh, and a little a little fart. Yeah, it escaped from me. And worse feeling. I thought I shat myself. Yeah, okay. It was and then when I put her down, my bum was wet. Oh, and I'm on stage in in yellow tights.

SPEAKER_03 7:37

Oh yeah, nah. Yeah, yeah, you're freaking. But the thing is, right? Because like with the ballet, we're in tights and stuff, and we get sweaty, right? And like you don't really think about oh I'm sweaty, you know, whatever. But when you fart, you're like, oh no, is that sweat or is that just poo in between my cheeks right now?

SPEAKER_01 7:57

And that's that's where my mind went to because everyone, so like everyone was having upset stomachs, and I was like, oh my stomach's not good right before this. And I didn't notice like the bit of sweat in between your cheeks. Yeah, you never, you never did. But let's yeah, you never did. Until it was too late. It was I did the lift, put her down, and my face went from smiley to I saw a ghost. My sister was watching. She's like, Cam, you like came on so happy. And then she's like, You looked like someone had died. I sabotaged this girl's. It was her second last show. I sabotaged her show in a few of the lifts while I was facing the back. I like cut the corner just so my bum wouldn't face the audience. Oh no, yeah, and she was like, What's going on? Like she said on stage. She's like, What's going on? I was like, deal with it.

SPEAKER_03 8:44

Deal with it, yeah, keep going.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

Yeah, I was like, I've shat myself.

SPEAKER_03 8:47

Yeah, yeah. Oh my god. What did wait, did you say that on stage? I shat myself.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

No, I I I couldn't. I I was I was just in so much shock. Like, generally, all I could think about was getting off stage as soon as possible. Oh man. And I and I was looking at people in the wings and I was hoping that they would clock it. Yeah. Like if if there was poo in my bum, like, and if the audience had seen that, yeah, I'm not coming back to the stage.

SPEAKER_03 9:12

Oh, that'd be bad, bro. You can't, you can't, you can't return. You can't return. Imagine the nicknames you'd get. Especially here. Like the nicknames you'd get is oh man. That's bad. He comes brown tights. Yeah, brownie.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

Come on, please. It was one time.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

McSkitty.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

McSkitty.

unknown 9:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Oh, dude. So that was my that was my ballet foul. Oh, dude, I have one.

SPEAKER_03 9:37

Another ball.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

Oh, you have one? You have another one?

SPEAKER_03 9:39

Another one on you. Another ballet foul.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Wait, what?

SPEAKER_03 9:42

Yeah. Alright, so we're in a rehearsal, and the choreographer at the front calls a group forward, and there's about ten guys that's in this piece. And me and Cam, we're in our what fifth year. Anyway. She's calling out names, all these names, name, name. And then she's like, Oh, I need, you know, two more guys. Anyway, she goes, Oh, Cameron, can I have Cameron to the front? Cameron, you know, obviously strolls to the front. She looks up from her book, looks at Cameron and goes, Oh no, no, no, not that guy. And then Cameron has to walk back into the group. And then she calls someone else out. I instantly start dying. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 10:23

My face, I look I I look like I just got slapped, like physically slapped, but emotionally.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

I was just like, that hurt. Like it was, yeah, it was. Can we have Cameron forward? I walk forward and she goes, oh god, no. Jesus, no.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

Anyone button!

SPEAKER_01 10:40

Anyone, please. Awful.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

Oh my god!

SPEAKER_03 10:45

It was oh, it was so funny.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

Yeah, she was just ruthless. Ruthless. And she had no filter. She should be on the podcast. But like that thought escaped her completely. She didn't, she didn't restrain herself whatsoever. At all. It was like it became full externalized her thoughts.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

Literally. Looked up from the pap and went, scrunched her face. Scrunched her face and went, oh, him? While you're planking on the bin in the corner. Oh my god. Alright, well, here you go.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Same rehearsal. Same rehearsal.

SPEAKER_03 11:17

Alright, start from the top. Alright, so obviously she's teaching out this piece and we're all dancing it. So there's what 30 guys in this studio, small studio, and she puts a bin in the middle.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

To mark this, yeah, yeah, to mark the stage out.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

So she puts the bin kind of in the middle up the back-ish. And obviously, we're learning it and like in our in all of our heads are like, why is she putting a bin there? Like, we're learning it still. Why do you need to mark out the stage? Anyway, my amazing idea to get some boys laughing, right? She's teaching.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

You always gotta have someone laughing.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

I've got to I always it's oh it's no, it's an illness. It's a an addiction. Yeah, it is. It is help me. So we're we're dancing, you know, enjoy um not in oh no, we're having so much fun. We're learning, we're working, we're we're working, yeah, right? So she's teaching it, we're dancing it, and the bin is there. I'm like, I'm gonna plank on it. Do you remember what year was it? Planking challenge. Oh, mate. It was huge.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

It wasn't even huge that year. This was like 20, like it was old news. Yeah, this is 2019 or something, 2021. Literally, yeah. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 12:29

So anyway, my amazing idea was to plank on it. I get on it. I'm planking. Meanwhile, everyone's dancing around me.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

You know the funny part is you're like six foot four, five, you're a big boy, and you're planking on a plastic bin. The faith you had in the structural integrity of that bin is incredible.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

And then you were like, no, I trust the engineering of the that bin is gonna hold me up. It did, it was a thin bin. It was like a bit wobbly, but I was like, Yeah, I'm sick into this. And I wasn't like, I was like, hold it. And I held it for two hours a long time.

SPEAKER_02 13:12

Everyone's working around you and stop. The only person laughing was literally me. But you walked away because you're like, you cannot be next to me.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

I was like, I was like, I'm crying. Yeah, the amount of times that happened in rehearsals and just alone in life, I'm like, I have to walk away. Like, you you you're gonna get us both in trouble here.

SPEAKER_03 13:34

I couldn't do that now. Oh my goodness. The blanking? Absolutely not. Absolutely not, absolutely not. I'm getting a stiff talking too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

What are we doing? The intro. Are we doing intro for question box?

SPEAKER_03 13:53

Yeah. Are you gonna just edit this? It's time for question box. Oh, short and sharp.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

So at work, we put out a box and we ask people at work to basically ask us questions. Um, it can be of any manner. We have no clue what's gonna happen. We haven't looked at these yet. Kind of seriously. I I doubt, yeah, I doubt any of them are gonna be serious right now because they're stitching us up.

SPEAKER_03 14:23

Yeah, they like to stitch us up.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

So we got look can you hear that? That's insane. It's hefty.

SPEAKER_03 14:31

Yeah, I can all work out with that.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

Yeah. Alright, so do you want to start? Um Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:37

We've got one on the top there. What's the hardest part of being a male ballet dancer? Any regrets? Whoa, yeah, whoa, that's hard, that's heavy. Do you have any regrets at the top of your head? No, but sometimes I'm like, oh man. It's a hard career. It's a hard career, man. It's hard.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

What would you have done if you weren't a ballet dancer? Well, I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_03 14:57

I would be I I was really into sports. Uh I I'd probably like to pursue that, and if I didn't, because obviously it's hard to get into that. Yeah. Probably trades. Well, I did carpentry. I was an apprentice when I was younger. Oh, no way. Yeah, I didn't know that. Really? No. Oh, sorry. Um yeah, I did uh an apprenticeship every now and then. Like I went twice a week, once a week when I was really young. Um and then um but if not that, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

Yeah. I think being a ballet dancer in general is is hard.

SPEAKER_03 15:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

Like I don't think being male makes it any more challenging. I think I mean right now my neck is a bit sore, my back's a bit sore from partnering. That's the biggest difference between us and the females, is like the partnering aspect. Yeah. Like that's really that's really hard on your body. I think I think the hardest thing would just be just the the physical toll on your body and also like the emotional toll too. Like late nights, the people don't talk about like even just the work schedule like enough. I think late nights is really hard and like the constant the constant battle of pushing yourself and trying to make yourself better every day and looking at yourself in the mirror. And like that's that can be a little bit draining at times, especially when you don't have the energy or the like emotional capacity to nice, great.

SPEAKER_03 16:18

That was a good one. That was good. That's actually nice to have some kind of deep and meaningful. Oh wow, this is deep. What are you currently unlearning? Wow, like in my head, like I'm in my head always about saying I'm injured and stuff. I'm really trying to break that cycle. Trying to break that cycle, which I'm actually getting better at. Um recently like this year and like even like last year. Yeah, there's a lot of mind games, and your mind likes to play a lot of tricks on you.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

Yeah. Oh, dude, I I like second that fully. That's exactly what I was about to say. But not not injury related, yeah. It's literally like head noise. Yeah. Yeah, not not tapping into all those thoughts that I have and just like letting them pass. Like, you know, it's like clouds in the sky, just let them go. Yeah. Um, yeah. Great. Because sometimes I really like lock into it. It's the similar similar for you, then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, next question.

SPEAKER_03 17:10

Yeah, let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

Uh my turn here, Eddie. Would you rather your first dance at your wedding to go horribly wrong or throw up during the speech at your wedding? Oh, that's brutal.

SPEAKER_03 17:22

Um that's a great question, though.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

Horribly wrong. Like, how horribly wrong? Like, I trip on her dress, rip her dress, her knickers come out, knickers. Oh, knickers. Knickers. How old am I?

SPEAKER_03 17:33

Come out. Yeah. Yeah, but like you fall, rip a dress, and then she falls over, the cake falls on top of her. Oh, that's pretty bad. Dude, that's bad, bad.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

Or I throw up in my speech. Can I turn to turn it turn over my shoulder and just throw up? Or it has to be a bit of a performance. Like, I can't hold it back. I like the middle of the speech, projectile, get it on her mum. Oh, damn. As a dancer, I reckon it'd be kind of hilarious if you did actually mess the dance up. That'd be funny. Like, how did he how did he get that bad? Yeah, that's bad, bad. Yeah, that's bad, bad.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Yeah. Yeah. So you're going, um Did you do the throw-up? I think I'll do throw up. Oh. Carrots and all. Carrots?

SPEAKER_01 18:11

Yeah, it's always carrots.

SPEAKER_03 18:12

Always. Somehow. I had that two weeks ago.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

Yeah. So you do throw up? I'll do throw up. Nice. Yeah, nice. Next question. Alright. If you didn't have your name, what would you want your name to be? But this is a bit lame. I was like, my middle name's John. I always wanted my first name to be John.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

Damn, that's awful.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

When I was younger, John was so cool.

SPEAKER_03 18:33

Oh my god, flashback. Talking about being younger, wanting your name to be something different. Puss and Boots.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

You want your name to be Puss and Boots?

SPEAKER_03 18:42

Yep. So wait, your full name is Puss and Boots? Yep. How lame is that? But like kind of sick. I always want your name to be Puss in Boots. Can you imagine me coming into the school and company and stuff? Not ever meet me and then you walking up with your sleeve rolled up, you know, about to roll my.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Man, I if your name was Puss in Boots, I wouldn't be coming up to you. Yeah. Oh hey bro, what's your name? Oh, I'm Puss and Boots.

unknown 19:10

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

Dude, Survivor. Do you know the show? Survivor?

SPEAKER_03 19:18

Oh yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

It is so good.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

Is this the Australian one?

SPEAKER_01 19:21

The Australian one. It's just like it's I'm Sarah and I are watching it and we're so into it. Really? Yeah. The first episode was a bit like naturally a bit slow, but like a like our first podcast. Yeah. But when you get into it, you get into it. Oh, real. Yeah, dude. Because like what's so good about it is like the show, one, the show's great. And the drama's great.

SPEAKER_03 19:42

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

But like surviving on that island, it kind of appealed to me.

SPEAKER_03 19:47

It'd be cool.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

It would kind of be sick. Yeah. Just a little bit, you know. Like yeah, like build a fort. Build a fort. Fire.

SPEAKER_03 19:53

Fire. Like, imagine like survival from land.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:55

Yeah. That'd be cool. That's one thing I would love to do, like, when I'm older, is uh own my well own my own property, which would be great. But like to have a veggie patch and just grow like my own cucumbers and stuff. Just cucumbers. Strictly, strictly cucumbers. Extra large cucumbers. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

Yeah, but I've thought about that too. Like living off the grid. That'd be kind of sick. Awesome. So I don't know why that appeals to me.

SPEAKER_03 20:22

Yeah. Oh no, it's appealing to me.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Remember, remember when we were obsessed with freshwater pools?

SPEAKER_03 20:29

Oh yeah, ponds. Yeah, ponds. Yeah. Like I'm building one. Where? I I will. I will build one. I'm building one. I'm living there. Wait, what where? I want to I want to build a basement too. We've talked about that. The basement. The basement literally. Actually, I want to dig a hole and build a room in this hole. Obviously, it's it's a basic. Which is called a basement.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

Dig a hole and live in the hole.

SPEAKER_03 20:52

You didn't live in the hole. But yeah, obviously, yeah. And call it like, yeah, the man cave classic. But yeah, we're so cool.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

What's the pool table?

SPEAKER_03 21:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

Pool table. Big, big, fat like TV. Yeah. Yeah. Bar, whichever bar. Oh, I'd like to, yeah. I want a jukebox as well in that man cave. God. A jukebox. I thought it out, I promise you. And like, you know, the like the pendant light over the pool table, a bar, like neon signs, the classic. Podcasting table in the corner? Oh, that'd be sick. Because we're podcasters now. That'd be sick. And actually and an extra spot for guests. Oh, yeah. And you know the like the Chesterfield sofas? Yes, yes. You know those leather those leather ones? Oh. That's like the like little button kind of, yeah. What is it? A man cave, freshwater pool. Dude.

SPEAKER_03 21:39

Imagine the pool above the man cave.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

Yeah. We we really veered off the living off the land.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

We have. And now we're living off full technology with pool tables.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

Neon Sun. Neon jigbox. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

Yeah. The survivor didn't last long. No. But how how long do you reckon you'd survive?

SPEAKER_03 21:56

I reckon I could do a while. Let's go Two weeks, you know, so but like if you're on an island, right? Obviously you build your shelter if if there's a machete in flint. Yeah, um and then you find wood for fires, and then and then what what I'll try and do is to make a a spear for fishing, spear fishing, and just try and catch fish, and then obviously you cook it over fire. Yeah. And yeah, probably they'll pull me out because I'll be just bones. Honestly, I won't be catch anything, I reckon. My clump of stompers. Yeah. Or I'll trip and still on the spear. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

You in stealth mode? I can barely imagine. You'd be so loud. Yeah, that's it. You'd be have you seen Castaway? Castaway. Yeah, Tom Hanks. No. He's stuck on an island. Yeah. And he's got a Wilson basketball. Oh, I've seen this. Yeah, yeah. You'd be Tom Hanks and Castaway. You'd be going, Well said. I reckon by day two. Yeah.

unknown 22:58

Day two.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

Well said. Help me.

SPEAKER_03 23:03

Yeah, because you you need someone to talk to. Yeah, true. I'll be making figurines in the sand and stuff, just talking to them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

How are we gonna are we gonna fight about this again?

SPEAKER_03 23:16

5678. That's pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

Um how do we want to do this outro?

SPEAKER_03 23:20

Alright, Cam, go with the flow with this one, alright. Guys, we've had a good a good sesh here, you know? Deep and meaningful, funny laughs along the way. Don't look at me like that. Cam soft bags laugh. I'm trying to be professional here, and this kid's laughing at me. Right? So take it away, already take it away, puss and boots. Guys, that's us out in three, two, one.