The Barre Men
We’re two best mates and professional ballet dancers. On stage we’re precise, off stage… not so much.
This is a mix of life behind ballet, awkward moments, and the kind of conversations that probably sounded better in our heads.
It’s honest, a bit chaotic, and definitely not as polished as we are on stage.
The Barre Men
Ep 10: Bad Reviews and Hecklers
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In this episode, Cam and Joey discuss what would happen if ballet audiences behaved differently. They chat about hecklers, over-the-top superfans, and some hilariously brutal audience feedback, which leads into a brand-new segment: Review Rescue.
They also bring back an old favourite, Question Box, where they answer questions sent in by their wonderful listeners.
Follow us and send in your questions and feedback. We'll feature the best ones in future episodes
The views expressed are our own and don’t reflect any organisations we’re affiliated with.
I finesse things then.
SPEAKER_03The only finesseing Cameron's doing is shutting me down. That's the only finesse you're doing. I went to a footy game.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03The other day. Yeah, yeah. Dude, imagine, right? Right. We're performing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And then someone goes, What the hell are you doing? Or or get in line!
SPEAKER_03You're after music. Like, because I was sitting in at the footy, and this guy's full die how diehard fan. Yeah. And he's going like, ref, like, catch the ball. Or yeah, yeah. Um imagine if we had that, like, for ballet. Honestly, I think I'd like it. Because you know, like, some obviously we make mistakes and stuff. Yeah. And you get in your own head about it. It kind of breaks the the fourth wall of it. Breaks that, like, in your head moment, you know what I mean? Instead of you going, oh man, I stuffed up, I suck, whatever. Yeah. This guy verbally said it, so it's kind of fine, you know.
SPEAKER_04One guy up the back eating chippies.
SPEAKER_03One guy up the back eating some chippies up the back, some popcorn, going, This guy sucks. Get him off stage.
SPEAKER_01I know. I know, man. I didn't cast myself. I didn't want to do this role.
SPEAKER_04I'm doing I'm doing um like the Don or something. Like something chill, like walk on roll.
SPEAKER_02This guy sucks at being old.
SPEAKER_00What if they but what if they yelled out like good stuff too? Oh, you'd love that. Yeah, that'll be you'd love that.
SPEAKER_03But like last night, um, remember Jared shout out to Jared episode five, six, whatever. Episode six. Yeah. Um, he came out for his curtain call. One guy. Oh bravo. Bravo, like full screams it out. Yeah, he was not just Tibb old. Yeah, it's just Tibbs.
SPEAKER_01And Romeo came out and got nothing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and then the Romeo, yeah, got literally like just like the stock standard, just some clapping. Yeah, yeah. Um, but yeah, he got the whistle and the bravo. I might and then afterwards he's in the change room with us, sharing the change room. I go, how much you how much you pay your mum for that?
SPEAKER_01Like mum's got deep voice. Yeah, it was bravo. Oh dude, that was so funny.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he would have loved that. Oh dude, I love it. I think I think audiences can go off more. I do you reckon like Australian audiences are tame as hell. Tame. Like in Russia when they're doing turns, they clap in time with the like the music. They they go off, they like stamp their feet, which is so good, I think, as performers.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I I I love it. Like um the whole vibe. The atmosphere's crazy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, maybe we can like scrap the heckling footy part. Yeah. Maybe that's maybe we just want to want to feel good.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we just want to feel good, guys. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But it would be it would be good.
SPEAKER_03On the heckling side of it, though, I finished um one of my Rothbart shows when I was Rothbart in Swan Lake. Yeah. I loved it because a couple shows, I got a boo. Like, oh yeah. Because I'm on the bad guy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Dude, I love that. Yeah, that's good. That's so good.
SPEAKER_00I was like, I feel gangster, you know, like people out there, like do you dial it up just a fraction then?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_03Um, yeah, I like because I run out, you get this massive cake, swish it, swish it around, and then it's just like boo. But I'm like, yeah, it's so cool. Yeah, take that in. Dude, while while we're on Rothbart, I did a press in the very last press with the black swan. Yeah. Uh, and my pants full ripped.
SPEAKER_00Everything's exposed.
SPEAKER_03Everything. But luckily I've got a big cape on, can't see it. Great. I was full freaking out, but then remembered I've got a cape. Yeah, great, great. Put it down, do curtain calls and stuff.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So you wait, can just to clarify, your bum is exposed. You ripped it at the final end of the ballet. Very, very end. Yeah. Okay, so you didn't have time to get changed or anything. Nothing. You just continued with the curtain calls and was like, okay, my cape will cover it. We're sweet. We're sweet. I'm with you.
SPEAKER_03We're great. Um, anyway, I come out for my my bow. I didn't swish it around this time because obviously you don't want to flash everyone. Oh, yeah, geez. Oh they need to pay extra for that show. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. And I should have actually anyway. No, I should have, because that'd be funny.
SPEAKER_02Flash it the audience. Imagine they boo like they boo extra. Get off.
SPEAKER_01Oh, they'd be cheering.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02We love that going.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely not. Yeah. Um anyway, finish the ballet. Um, the curtain comes down. Yeah. Uh, one of my peers comes on stage and I go, Hey, hey, bro, like, I have a look at my my costume. Yeah. They go, what the hell? I'm turning around. I flip my cape over my shoulder. I sumo squat, grab the pants, spread it. And like, and then anyway, I stood up, put the cape back down. Yeah. And then I processed that moment. Like what I just why did I do that? And I just went, why? Why? Why would I do that? And why did I do that? Like, I'm like, I this person's great, one of my this per my peer. I I love this guy. Yeah. But I wouldn't show him my ass ever or do anything like that ever. Uh why I'm just not that close with you. Yeah, I'm not that close with you to show me showing you my butt crack. So yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's great.
SPEAKER_00Um, anyway, circling back to the the heckling. Have you ever had anyone outside a stage door like give you corrections or any like feedback or like say something and they do it in a like a polite way, but it's not really polite. Like they think they're helping you out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever had anything like that? Um because I've had one moment, and this kid you know, this is during Manon. Oh, please shit. Like, oh please shit.
SPEAKER_03I beg of you. I beg of you, sir. Please be late on me.
SPEAKER_00So I came off stage and I was playing the role of Lesko, who is um Manon's brother in the production Manon. He's basically a pimp and a drunk. Anyway, so I came off stage and I did a really good show. I was Lesko Well, obviously not. Yeah, clearly not to this lady. Okay. Wait till you hear this. So I I came off and I was like, oh, great, like, good show. And I do Lesco really well, I believe. Like he's funny, he's comedic. You're great.
SPEAKER_03It's a fantastic show.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he's a drunk, like you know, my pop was a drunk, so you know it runs the family.
SPEAKER_03Pretty much a drunk anyway, right?
SPEAKER_00I didn't drink.
SPEAKER_03No, you're pretty good, actually.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Anyway, so oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04We're like, all right, so Cam's a crippling alcoholic.
SPEAKER_02People who don't know me, they're like, oh, is he gonna is this going?
SPEAKER_04Okay, it's gonna make very hard.
SPEAKER_02Circle back. I have to then cover up like I'm not, baby. I sound more guilty when I'm like, I'm not.
SPEAKER_04He's not, he's not. I don't know why that's I said that correctly. Oh my god, career's over. Yeah, anyway, sorry, you you are not an alcoholic.
SPEAKER_03I just wanted to add that in for extra seasoning. As they say, mayo. I wanted extra mayo in the story.
SPEAKER_00But yeah, I came on stage and I finished the role and it was a good show. And this lady comes up to me and she goes, Oh, by the way, just loved the show, thought it's fantastic. I thought you were fantastic to butt. But dude. She said, but and I went, Oh, what's going on here? I I saw this show years ago, and Andy Killian, I saw Andy Killian play the role of Lesko, and his acting was just much better than yours. And I went, okay. I like what the heck? Where are you getting like how do I respond? One, two, what is she getting at? Like, what is what good is she like getting out of this? No one's winning. So I just went, Oh, okay, yeah, right. I went, Oh no, he is a fantastic actor. I see. Um, yeah, and he's a fantastic actor. Goes, yeah, I just liked his portrayal. I went, yeah, we play the role quite differently. I I like to do it in a bit more of a comedic uh way. Yeah. Um, he yeah, yeah, yeah. And she goes, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was just better. I think he was better, but yeah, I really enjoyed your show also. And I left, I went, Why was I nice to her? Yeah, why was I nice? That makes no sense.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but like uh compliment sandwich at its finest. I was really great, loved the show, but your acting sucks, but you're good.
SPEAKER_01Nah, yeah, look, that is hardly a sandwich. You've just left the top button off.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I guess so, yeah. Nah, oh dude. Oh, nah, but the awesome thing about ballet and uh this art form is we everyone's got their different styles of it.
SPEAKER_00And it's subjective. That's the whole point. That's what I was saying to her. I was like, yeah, no worries, you can prefer him. That's totally fine. I don't care about that. Yeah. It wasn't that, it was more the fact that I was like, why are you saying this to my face? Yeah. And also saying, like, you're you're comparing. Don't compare. We're completely different dancers. Yeah. Yeah. I was it was so weird. This lady, I I just went, What are you coming at? What is happening? Yeah. And she's she she she like approached me. Yeah. You know, again, I'm like after show. Yeah, after a show, I'm tired, I just want to go home. And she's approached me and she seemed very happy to tell me that. I was like, I'm glad you got that off your chest, babe. Oh nah, so anyway, I headbutt her and she went down to the crowd. Hey Joey. Yeah, it's time for review rescue.
SPEAKER_02Wow, that was quite cool.
SPEAKER_00That was good. Alright, so this segment, um, we talked about heckling and we talked about people like giving us bad feedback. Um, so now it's time to talk about bad reviews, and we're gonna put our own little spit on it and make the positive reviews. Heck, hence review rescue.
SPEAKER_03An impressive display of how long three hours can feel. Okay. Yeah. So I just wrote this. So it was a night to remember me and my hubby went to the ballet. It was amazing to get away from the kids as they drive me up the wall. Three hours of alone time, three hours just me and my man watching men in tights. Can't get any better than that.
SPEAKER_01That's good, but nice. Well done.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you really drove home the three hours.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, three hours.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you got three hours because it's like three hours alone, yeah, the kids, the dog, whatever.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, sometimes time, you know, goes by so fast. If you know, if you got three hours, you can really soak in those three hours. Go, wow, time slowed down. I yeah, I needed to just be with my thoughts for three hours. Three hours, yeah. See, that's a five-star review, isn't it? Hell yeah. Yeah, dude. I feel like I got that one pretty good. That was pretty good. All right. Everyone looked miserable. Perhaps they weren't aware they were in this production. Oh, damn, that's pretty rough. You get that. So that's a one-star. That's a one-star review. So I've turned into a five-star review. Are you ready? Yeah, you're it. The cast delivered a deeply committed and emotionally authentic performance. Their portrayal of suffering was so convincing it lingered long after the curtain fell. Oh, that's great.
SPEAKER_01That's quite good.
SPEAKER_03Damn, nice.
SPEAKER_01Five-star review.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, well, bam. Dude, that's good. Yeah. Alright, all right. Me next, me next. Yeah. The set was so distracting, I occasionally forgot to dislike the dancing.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_03Hmm. Okay. I'm a mad hater. I have anger management issues. I don't like many things. The set was wobbly and it looked like it was gonna fall and kill someone. Hundred percent would recommend coming back for that show. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.
SPEAKER_01Oh, but that was really good.
SPEAKER_03Dude, I was stuck there for a bit because I wrote, I'm a mad hater, I have anger management issues full stop.
SPEAKER_01And I was like, I was wondering where you're gonna go with that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but I mean, that's pretty good. That's really good. You know? Okay, my turn. Yep. I've seen more chemistry in a queue at the post office.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's pretty bad, dude. Cues at post office are torturous.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, all they suck. Alright, I had to work hard at this one. The relationship between the two leads was refreshingly understated. Okay. It allowed the audience to make up their own interpretation of the story. Oh, right. That's not that's quite nice. That's actually not a bad review. That's alright. That's good.
SPEAKER_03She just smacked the one star instead of four or something.
SPEAKER_00No, I turned it into a four star. It's probably not a five star. I could have made it a bit better.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I wait, oh wait. I thought that was the review.
SPEAKER_00No, you idiot.
SPEAKER_03Sorry, my bad. My bad, sorry.
SPEAKER_00No, that was my review. I turned it into a good review. Oh, I just forgot. It was just it was refreshingly just understated. Yeah. I was a bit like, oh yeah. Yeah. So I could draw my own, like oh, true. Yeah, that's a good one. That's all right.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so I don't know what I was thinking about. Oh my god. Sorry, everybody. All right. Several performers looked as though they'd rather be somewhere else.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god, dude.
SPEAKER_03Sorry, I'm like full skitting. I need a okay. Well I do you want me to read yours out?
SPEAKER_02Dude, you look crazy.
SPEAKER_04No way. Dude, you look terrifying. Oh my god. Wow. That was very reference.
SPEAKER_00Oh Joey just stumbled through his sentence that I typed out for him. Anyway, he pulled his eye open his eyeballs and it freaked me out. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And then you just did it to me, and it just looked crazy.
SPEAKER_00We're we're absolutely delirious today. Oh, I love it. Now I actually kind of had a big week of shows and stuff, guys. Yeah. Crazy.
SPEAKER_03Anyway, get back to it. Yeah, sorry. Because yeah, we normally film on a Tuesday, it's Thursday. We're a bit thrown off. Oh several performers looked as though they'd rather be somewhere else. Frankly, so did I.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's yeah, that one's a that's a good one. This is a this is a fun one.
SPEAKER_03Okay. They looked like they were somewhere else because the acting was so good that it took me somewhere else as well. I am so disappointed with all my fails in life, but thankfully, the amount of detail the dancers did the dancers' acting skill made me feel like I was at the beach sipping a cocktail.
SPEAKER_00You are really good at this. Really? Yeah, I really enjoy your stories. I I just went on a real like review line. I like that you added some personal elements to this.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, because I'm thinking like, uh, I'm a I've got a glass of wine, right? Yeah, you put yourself in that situation. I've put myself in front of this laptop. I've come back from the ballet and I'm gonna go, okay, I'm in your shoes. Yeah. Did you like that? I really liked it. Uh uh.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I liked how creative you got with them. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna do better. I'm just the other one mad. Can you read can you read the last one? I'll go one more. I'll go, I'll go another one, and then you go, and then I'll go again. Uh the standing ovation felt less like praise and more like relief. Oh wow. That's pretty tough, man.
SPEAKER_00That's brutal. Okay. All right. One star one.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00Alright, five-star review coming in.
SPEAKER_03I was holding in a mad fart. I was holding in a mad fart the entire act three. When the audience stood, I took my chance to act upon the opportunity to relieve myself of the strain. The audience had no idea it was me. PS, sorry for the smell.
SPEAKER_02It was really good.
SPEAKER_03That was good. I took that really well. Creative, creative, man.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so the steady ovation finally gave me the time and the opportunity to relieve myself. Yeah. That was a brilliant production. I've no idea we all got to stand.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they had no idea it was me. Like it was like everyone stood, yeah, Bravo! Oh yeah, oh yeah, clapping. Yeah, yeah, great.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, how good. The uncomfortableness, the whole production, finally the sense of relief at the end. Yeah. Yeah. And unbelievable. Unbelievable. Unbelievable show.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Oh, unbelievable. I felt so relieved at the end when you know such and such died and stuff. I loved it. Anyway, you got one more and I'll got one more.
SPEAKER_00I've got one more. Yeah. Nice. Alright. The orchestra and dancers appeared to be performing different ballets. One star review. Oh. Okay, you ready? The production challenged traditional ideas of dancing with the music. It was like experiencing two shows for the price of one.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_00Not bad. Yeah? Not bad.
unknownThat was good.
SPEAKER_03Alright. Stock standard. Yeah. Yeah. Good stuff. Thanks. Nothing much on it.
SPEAKER_00No. Time to do up on the fly. I like these on the fly ones. Yeah. Alright, this is where our creative producers come out.
SPEAKER_03We're pretty creative as well.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah. Okay, for you. The lead dancer displayed all the emotional range of kitchen appliance.
SPEAKER_03Oh. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Okay. You could turn this into a five-star rego.
SPEAKER_03I'm an Italian person. And what does Italian people like to do? They like to cook. And Norna does a really great job of that. This dancer displayed every appliance in my Norna's kitchen. And what does Nona make best? Lasagna. Lasagna has layers. This dancer displayed every single layer of the story. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01Oh bud. How do you make that crap up on the spot?
SPEAKER_00Was that alright? That was incredible. I just don't think I can I can compete with you like that. No, you can.
SPEAKER_03No, you're just You're just gonna put yourself in this like situation. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Like that was that was insane.
SPEAKER_03Alright, I mean okay, go. The costumes were memorable, which is fortunate because very little else was.
SPEAKER_00Being a fashion designer myself, I was just in awe of the costumes. I couldn't escape that. The production was fantastic, but the costumes really stole the show.
SPEAKER_03Oh, dude, see what I mean? Yelp pulls it out, dude. You're gonna put yourself in these shoes, you know? Man, what a lovely day at the beach. It's so cool being lifeguards, eh? Yeah, incredible. It's so good. Wait, what's going on? What's that in the water? Dude, why is everyone screaming? Oh, oh no, it's it's question box. Get out of there, guys! Get out! It's question box time. These skits are terrible. That's exactly why we do them. I love them.
SPEAKER_00Alright, let's get into it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, let's get into it.
SPEAKER_00Um, these are the questions from our Instagram, um, from our listeners. Oh yeah. So let's dig into the case.
SPEAKER_03Instagram is hitting us up now, guys.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Love it.
SPEAKER_03If you had your own Rokeby flavour, what would you create? Oh, that's so good. I was thinking um like chocolate. Um, chocolate, there is a chocolate. A cake. Like um, a cake flavour. Like I had um birthday cake flavour. Yeah, birthday cake, or I had a Italian continental cake. Is it continental? I don't know. I think it's continental cake. It's like got chocolate custard in it. Oh, dude. They could mimic that. Oh, like a chocolatey custard. Yum.
SPEAKER_00Um, for me, I would do like Oreos. Oreos. Yeah, like the cookies, cookies and cream. I feel like they're missing an opportunity there.
SPEAKER_03Oreo, dude. That would be good. Oh, Oreos is such a big one as well.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think that would be good. Uh next one. Most memorable performance.
SPEAKER_03Memorable? I would say for me, um Anna Karinina.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03Doing Karen doing Karenin, dude. Like the levels in that, like Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_00So your your character arc was quite big.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, which I really enjoyed.
SPEAKER_00But that's nice when you can and also it's quite human. So you can displa uh display human qualities rather than fairy tales. Yeah. That's always really nice. That's great. Yeah. He he he was quite like intense, but then you see a sweetness to him too. Yeah, that's it. That is nice. Yeah. And also that was a few years ago. That was a few years ago, yeah. Um for me, that was a good one. Uh for me. I think like I know it was talked about this a lot, but I think Romeo, I know it's just recent, yeah, but I think that's been a dream role of mine for years. And I think when you do kind of play Romeo, you've it's pretty big deal.
SPEAKER_03It's good because you kind of fit the Romeo guidelines, guidelines, you know, young, short, you know, 13-year-old looking baby face, yeah. Baby face, yeah. Nah, yeah, seriously, yeah.
SPEAKER_00It was nice to play like that romantic role. I never get to play them, so that was nice. Um, but if it weren't for that, uh even Basilia Donkey, yeah, that one that I know, I always go back to that, but that was the first major ballet solo I did. It was the first ballet solo I ever watched on YouTube, like when I was a little kid. Oh yeah. And when I played that on the main stage, that was a full circle moment. I went, oh, smokes.
SPEAKER_03Great, next one, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Next one. What's the dumbest way you've injured yourself? I've got one. I uh strained my adductor and put DP on my ductor, not thinking what's in between my adductors. Oh yeah, and DP on the balls. Oh that stun for three hours I tried washing it off, it doesn't come off. It don't come off the stupidest thing ever. Yeah. I I I've never done it since. Every DP. You can't get it out of your skin. Nah. And that is a sensitive region, and you don't want DP there. Oh dude, it kills. It kills.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I I've I've done that too. I've done it.
SPEAKER_00I don't know how I'm I don't know how I didn't think that one through. I really don't. Yeah, I was so tempted to tell mum to be like, I think we might need to call the ambulance here because my balls are literally on fire.
SPEAKER_03My my balls are hot. Yeah, dude. Oh that. Oh, dude, it's the worst. Yeah, because I had the same thing. I got on my balls after rubbing my adductor with it. Yeah. And then I tried to wash it off with water, didn't help. And then I sat in front of a heater because you know it's like that hot, cold feeling. What? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Would that not make it more hot?
SPEAKER_03No, because I was like, I I need some something. It felt, you know, when it's like hot, but it's like that cool burn.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's like that cool burn. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So I was like, oh, maybe if I warm it up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it gets less of that cool burn. Yeah, but oh yeah, dude. It's terrible. That's pretty dumb.
SPEAKER_03So I was spread eagle in front of the heater. Nice. I told mum not to look.
SPEAKER_00I was in its house, so yeah, that's really good. God, dude. More in-class shenanigans. They want to know more?
SPEAKER_03More. Alright, we can do that.
SPEAKER_00I could um we don't want to add ourselves too much because we are professionals. Yeah. But uh, yeah, we also drop the ball quite often. We'll have to think of some more in-class shenanigans and some stories for you folks. Yeah, there's plenty there. We got them. We got them. Yeah. Um, I'm gonna say something that I'm thankful for, and it's this podcast.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, quite.
SPEAKER_00You know, we've had a really busy week, and this is always just you know a really fun start to the day.
SPEAKER_03Honestly, actually, dude, in the morning, it's great. It's great, yeah. Good stuff. Good thing. I'm thankful for it too. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Gotcha, guys.
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