You Think?!

3 Boys 1 Couch ft. Straight Luke

• You Think?! • Season 1 • Episode 6

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In this week’s episode, for the first time in You Think?! history, Prima and Pancake are joined by a very special guest, Straight Luke AKA their executive producer and editor (@luke.not.luke). The boys are thinking about Luke's big Korea move, moths, and the Survivor live finale flub.

Hosted by The Prima Donald (@theprimadonald) & Pink Pancake (@hausofpancake)

Produced by Luke Martin (AKA Straight Luke) & kind of sort of by Peter Schum

Art by Curtis Brown Photography

Music by Jack Rayner

SPEAKER_02

Welcome to You Think of Podcast by 2K Don't I'm the P Madonald and I'm Pink Pink and we are Toby Noah And we are Tovac No no no no no no no and we have got the fake Okay thinkers It's time to put your fingers on your It's time to think you think it's been a second recorded recorded and I I'm feeling comfier than ever.

SPEAKER_01

I feel refreshed. I feel like if you're watching the podcast, if you're one of the 12 people that watches the podcast, then you know that we look incredibly comfy right now.

SPEAKER_04

Right. And it's probably my hips got have gone wider, it seems like I have less space on the couch. It feels like my hips have gotten wider. But hips also are not lying. They wouldn't lie. They wouldn't lie to you for a second. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

How have you been, girl?

SPEAKER_04

Wait, I've been so good.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_04

Things I just I've been thinking about a lot of things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Everyone around me just thinking about things. Yeah. Everyone around me just like thinking about stuff. But yeah. 2016.

SPEAKER_04

One thing that I've been thinking of is like, I think it's time we're about six episodes in. Maybe we should bring in a guest.

SPEAKER_01

We should finally, for the first time in You Think History, bring in a guest. So put on two thinking calves. Should we should they come in from the other room? Yeah, come on. Come on in. Come on in. Come on in, Luke. Welcome to the podcast.

SPEAKER_02

It is our editor, our producer, Stray Luke.

SPEAKER_03

Hey guys, wait, where should I sit?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I know this in the perfect spot. My lap or his lap, which you choose.

SPEAKER_03

I love this. Um, that was a really trippy experience, by the way, just sitting here while you guys screamed that intro. And I literally was like, like after editing it a lot, yeah. But then I felt like I was kind of like on like a uh an illicit drug I haven't done, like acid or something where I was like, whoa, I'm like beyond VR. Like you guys are just like screaming surrounding.

SPEAKER_04

The audio levels are through the roof. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And thanks to you and all of your help.

SPEAKER_04

Now, we when we thought about this podcast, we never dreamed that we could have a guest fit on this couch. Right. But it has finally come true to this.

SPEAKER_01

It's finally the thing is we can fit a guest. You can fit a guest. We can fit a guest. You can fit many size guests. Yeah, many sides. Not all. Not all sides. Some guests we can fit. And we're excited to have our first guest.

SPEAKER_02

Uh we should probably drink every time we hear guests. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Drinking game alert. Drinking alert. Woo, woo, woo, woo!

SPEAKER_04

Okay, so our first segment is called You Thing.

SPEAKER_01

No, wait, let's help. Luke should help us. Our first episode, our first episode. Our first segment is called You Thing.

SPEAKER_04

It is really where we talk about the things that we are personally thinking about this week. And our second segment is called Group Thing.

SPEAKER_01

And that is the hot topics in the media, in pop culture that we got to discuss. And our final segment is called What Are You Even Think? And that's like a little improv thing that we will get to later. Yeah. This is our first time having a thruple involved. Wow.

SPEAKER_03

Triggering for me. Thruple. I wonder my first my initial thought is like, what's the uh what's the group umber? What is it called? Like when the the the sound of voices together. Like, do we have a nice little chorus sound?

unknown

One, two, two, three, four. You hear me.

SPEAKER_03

You you you think you think you you you you think.

SPEAKER_00

You think, you think. What do you think?

SPEAKER_03

That is, yeah. I just wanted to know what that sounded like with three voice.

SPEAKER_04

It's gonna be really fun to listen to. Yeah, yeah. An edit. Okay, so uh Wait, I want to talk about what I'm thinking about. Yeah. What I'm thinking about is that we have a guest here from Korea. Uh in this hill. Now, our guest, can you tell our audience? Now, our guest is our podcast producer, Luke, our dear friend Luke. Straight Luke is what we call him. Um, and Luke, you've been living in Korea for a bit. Can you tell the audience a bit about that?

SPEAKER_03

Well, that's like kind of my you think. So think or think I start off with my you think. Yeah, what are you thinking about?

SPEAKER_01

So I've been you thinking about living in Korea. Wait, also, I guess for the people that don't know you, describe yourself in three words or less.

SPEAKER_04

Barely legal.

SPEAKER_01

So young. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Like uh uh uh autistic alcoholic fun. Oh okay, so now that we know who you've got straight. Oh, that's right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But your name is straight later. But I said or less. I said or less. And so and he and so now we know he follows directions, which is beautiful. And so now that the audience knows who you are, you've you used to live in New York for all this time. That's how we became friends, and now you decided to go across the country for love and you're living here and why and who and how.

SPEAKER_03

I did a little fun thing called going on a solo trip to Thailand and Vietnam as a white guy, and meeting someone who's from Korea in a Bangkok nightclub, and then falling in love with her and deciding to throw my whole life away to move out and hang out with her. And what I have to say about that is tail is I mean, everyone knows many people who do that exactly all the time.

SPEAKER_01

And I think there was actually a character in White Lotus last season that was based off of literally.

SPEAKER_03

I I mean, I think you were both individually like one of the first 10 people to send me the clip where he's like talking about how he Sam Rockwell's character like moved to Thailand and then um started fucking all these women, then started fucking all these lady boys, and then realized that he is a Thai, he's an Asian woman. Yeah, yeah. And I'm not there. Okay, not yet. But yeah, yeah, I'm not there, but I do um wow. I mean, I guess I guess But you do appreciate cultures. I appreciate cultures, and I'm on a pogo, and so I'm going to own the thing that I always own with my fun friends, which is yes, I have dated a number of Asian women, and that's a preference that I will own as the cringe, straight white vibe, and it's okay. And I think I'm doing it for not problematic reasons, but that's just for my own.

SPEAKER_04

I mean I've only dated men, and that's my preference. That's fucked up. That's like I mean, I've read a little thing called the Bible.

SPEAKER_02

Honey!

SPEAKER_01

Wait, so you're gonna hate it over here because I also have dated men, but I often date short men. So explain that. Explain that.

SPEAKER_03

I did learn this in the podcast that I I learned this from editing that you have a thing for short guys, which I didn't know.

SPEAKER_04

I know, I don't know. That's interesting. Yeah, we have three different types short guys, Asian girls, breathing men.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_04

Do you have like any type within the male literally wide bust it wide open? I am wide open.

SPEAKER_03

Everybody type, everyone.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I mean, there's definitely one like people who I'm more into. Um but like I'm I'm not like short or tall or I mean Peter, my husband happens to be really hot, so I'd be like that. So like that body and that vibe and that like um not annoying like I am.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, okay. Yeah. I mean, I also for me uh like I I I go for my my number one thing I actually go for vibe-wise is like I'm super extroverted, I'm super like I recharge my battery by socializing and stuff. I always fall for it and really connect with and date girls who are the opposite, and they're like, like they go to like one social function, then they're like, I need like bedtime for two days, and like YouTube.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and he can hear me. My husband is that, yeah, exactly. So that's like that's like more like the unconscious vlog that happens.

SPEAKER_01

My current boyfriend is like that too, in in that he doesn't exist. Right. Yeah. He's so introverted that he's under my mind. Yeah, exactly. I would like to talk about someone, and I just want to give an update about human Shrek. So, human Shrek was a guy that I hooked up with at my sister-in-law's sister's wedding.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, so what is the update on human Shrek?

SPEAKER_01

Uh, he got back together with his ex-boyfriend. Can you quickly remind like in what you met this man at a wedding? I met this man at my sister-in-law's sister's wedding. He pursued me. I thought he was really hot. He looked like human Shrek. If you don't know what Human Shrek looks like, Google he looks so hot. Good and Google it. He was also really silly and fun, which I really like. See, you like in a partner, someone's so quiet, and I think I want someone that's like a good time gal, but also brilliant. And I also want to say that he like ghosted my ass, and then he'd zombie, which means that he came back to life and would respond. And that went on for like a few weeks, and then I oh, when we talk when the episode came out, I texted him, and then he's like, I did get back with my ex. And I he was like, I got back with my ex-boyfriend, and I said, Well, I think that's just your boyfriend boyfriend now. Yeah, so I'm back, I'm back out there on the field. Put me in coach.

SPEAKER_03

So you're are you um approaching are you looking for love or are you still just trying to look at it? I'm looking for love, man. Which hole are you filling? One right here or the one down there? Oh. Oh. Every hole. There's more than every hole needs to be filled. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Did you go on any dates recently? Wait, wait, can we are we are we structured into a you think? Yeah, we're in you think. We've been you thinking. Well Michael's you thinking.

SPEAKER_01

Well, you we I feel like you never really fully talked about. I didn't dive in. All right, dive in. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. As we're telling a story, it could abruptly shift, but we'll always get back to it if it's a design.

SPEAKER_03

But also as the editor, I would love, I would deeply love if um it was a little more streamlined. Right, right, right. Okay. We have to streamline. No, and no, I love, I love the like the yes ending and everything, but it's like for me, also as a listener, I kind of think I'm like, Donald's you think is, and then they like yes and and then we're like, okay, Michael's you think is. We're gonna set up like a like you think.

SPEAKER_04

Look, I'm gonna look at camera one, camera two, camera three. Let's go into Luke's camera.

SPEAKER_03

And then yeah, okay, so my you think. You think you think you think is I've been thinking a lot about um well I've been like introspecting a lot, but I've been in Korea, I've been living with my girlfriend, and what it has been is me having everything I wanted last year, which is like a really deep connection, amazing, amazing like soulmate type relationship. Donald Zoom thumbs down, and just like communicating amazingly, caring about each other, like blah blah blah. Also, while exploring this idea I've had for a while where I'm like, I just I want to get the fuck out of America, I want to get the fuck out of New York, wham, wham, wham. And doing all that, but then being in it and being like, wow, like I'm so far from like all this shit I love, like my friends and my family, and um gay podcasts, gay podcasts, and uh and also I don't have a home. I don't have a home, and my main thing is I'm like, I need a home, and this is intense, and I'm gonna probably come back to New York and I don't know, but that's my you think in a huge long way. Is like I feel stuck with I can't have everything I want in life. I can't have an amazing home and amazing friends and everything, and the perfect girlfriend. Although I'm sure I can, it's just more patients.

SPEAKER_04

I'm sorry, women in Hollywood can do it all. They can be mothers, they can be working people, like they can so like don't ever say that they have time to work out. Like, you're a working mother, so you can do this all. That's fine. Second of all, I think that was our first you think exclusive.

SPEAKER_01

Martin is moving back to America USA, okay? Oh wow. I I was like, I don't understand what the fuck that means. But I was I was dropping I'm dropping like a TMZ. Yeah, yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, but it's still like okay, actually, I was thinking I was you thinking this today, because I also being back, I was talking about this earlier, but coming back to New York and not having an apartment like sucks after you've been traveling for two months. You're like, fuck, I'm in a hotel, blah blah. So then my like gay panic moment always now is just like going on street easy and being like, let me just like look at places and like maybe I'll find something and just like get a home and then leave, whatever. Yeah, and so I was doing that, and then I was using um our little friend called AI, our water thirsty, thirsty girl. Thirsty girl. And so I was pouring buckets of water on a computer and getting a really nice, uh, smart answer. But I was like, I was just like, when is the smartest and dumbest time to move in New York? And uh Gemini, because I don't use Chat GPT anymore because I'm a Gemini. The Pentacon owns that shit now. Yeah, I do. Gemini and Cloud. I'm like one of those cool guys. Cloud. Oh, that's wait, that's crazy. That works better for you. Yeah, yeah. Um anyway, so they were like, yeah, the worst time is June through September, and I was like, amazing. That's exactly what I was thinking. It's because of like all the college kids with like mommy daddy money are like leaving and coming.

SPEAKER_04

And so some adults have mommy daddy money. Keep coming.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I heard that um I heard that someone on this podcast was like buying property with a drag queen salary.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean, I would have mommy daddy mummy money if I had a I love the wa hype button.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, wait, no one's ever done that. Yeah. Okay, well, we we are you thinking about how happy we are that you are gonna come back into our lives.

SPEAKER_01

But we're gonna I want to say that um you're really touching the leg.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Look at the full permission. He didn't think the full permission. He even whispered in my eyes. I did know that you're feeling lonely recently, so that maybe watching. I feel kind of maybe. I don't have a home.

SPEAKER_03

You're feeling lonely. I have a girlfriend. I I don't have a home and I want a home. You're buying a home. Yeah. You said the holiday.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, it's the holiday. Okay, wait, wait, wait. You two.

SPEAKER_01

Who's who? Who's here? Um I feel like I'm Cameron Diaz and you're a Titanic girl. Is this the one with like Jack Black? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Can I be him? I guess. I don't know. I guess you are personality now, Jack Black. What you're doing is you're gonna move into his home and he's gonna be your girlfriend's name.

SPEAKER_03

Again. Wait, can I tell you one really funny thing about Soyang, which I think I've already texted? I would really like it. But it's great with Saga.

SPEAKER_01

So on so his girlfriend's name is really something. And now they're at page 66 right here. Let's be clear about it. His girlfriend's literal name is Soyan.

SPEAKER_03

So young spell exactly like O Y-O-U-N-G. And she is, I'm 34, she's 28, so she's not too young. But she is So Yang.

SPEAKER_01

She's so young, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And but she's like, she's a working woman, she's got a whole ass life. But one really funny thing that I was cackling about is that I mean, she's Korean, she's lived her whole life in Korea, she's trying to get the fuck out of Korea. Korea's like, as a society, Korea's a little definitely like way more like you follow the rules, and there's not that much like wiggle room for individual spirit vibes. And she's very much like, I don't want to follow rules, I want to like live my own life. I like feel very suffocated here, blah blah blah. All that goes to say, there's not that much super open, flamboyant gay culture in Korea, like there is in New York. It's accepted, and you're like allowed to be gay and shit, but they're just like it's like a newer, it's like more like our generation and younger, like got really into it there. And so she like has literally met one gay person her whole life. Whoa. And I was like, and it was her boyfriend. But I was like, honey, stick with me. I wonder and gay guys.

SPEAKER_04

First of all, how does she appreciate your humor and sensibility? Because it's based off of gay men. Second of all, second of all, if she listened to this podcast, what do you think she would think? Oh, I'm gonna show her. I will send her all these clips and she's gonna like die later. I feel like she'd be confused. Like, why are people behaving in this way?

SPEAKER_03

What? Sitting on a couch that's too small for three people. Yeah. That's that's a little city.

SPEAKER_04

That's kind of Korean coded. Space space efficiency?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, like just being like, okay, we're all just gonna sit. Okay, I in Seoul. I was in Seoul in Busan. And specifically in Seoul, I would we would walk around. I told I think I told you guys this, and everywhere there would be women, like young women, just like holding hands, like very intimately, like arm around the shoulder and stuff, walking. And I was like, are there just like a ton of lesbians like in Korea? What's going on? And she was like, oh no, no, no, those are just like best friends or like sibl or like family members. But it was like so intimate, like holding hands, like really cute, like walking around, like so close and stuff. Has anyone here been to a lesbian wedding? Uh yeah, I've been to an ex-lesbian marrying a man's wedding.

SPEAKER_01

That counts.

SPEAKER_03

What? With her ex-lesbian partner also at my table.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, I haven't been to that. Should I? Yeah, I really recommend it. You went to a lesbian wedding? No, I was just curious. Is it like an Indian wedding?

SPEAKER_03

Like something that's like iconic.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I think that's like really cool to go to. Yeah. Gay weddings out. Lesbian weddings in.

SPEAKER_01

Indian weddings is always also lesbian, just so you know. It's more like a circle, isn't it? Then why do we have different letters? Hey, chat.

SPEAKER_02

Chat GBT, can we look that up? Is that real? LGBT.

SPEAKER_03

I know I think that's cool. You guys still support the LGBTQI community. Are you still happy about it? You guys mentioned it in the last pod. Yeah, I mean, I'm I'm really big on the LGBTQ. I got it.

SPEAKER_01

You think it's like Pride Month is just around the corner, baby. And if any corporation rainbow flags roll out. I realize so my birthday is June 1st, which is the first day of Pride Month. I think legally you have to be gay if that's your point. Correct. And also, we are going to be releasing next week's episode, will be on my birthday. Wow. And you know what I have to say?

SPEAKER_04

You know what I have to say? If any corporation is listening to this and looking at all three cameras, and if you want Palantir, and if you want, sure. And if you want to sponsor any part of our podcast, the beginning, middle, end, one third, two quarters, whatever you say, we would love your money.

SPEAKER_03

What is there like a is there what if like is there an evil corp that if they offered you an insane amount of money, you would say no?

SPEAKER_04

I'm trying to think.

SPEAKER_01

Um it depends on what it is, because it's like if they offered me a bunch of money and I got to do whatever I wanted, right? Right fierce if they gave us money and I didn't have to t tell anyone that they gave us money. Oh, okay. So you don't want to sponsor it. You don't want to like blast it. I I wouldn't want to lift up a bad company, but if they just happen to put money in my bank account for no reason.

SPEAKER_04

If it was Spencer Pratt, I would say no. Who's that? Oh, that's humiliating. Do you not know either? Spencer Pratt? He's running for LA mayor. Yes. And he's a former reality star slash current reality star.

SPEAKER_03

And he's like a bit he's like the antithesis of Zoron. He's like a super far right idiot.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Why is the hell? I mean, we don't talk about politics on this podcast because we're trying to have a good time. Right. What the hell is going on, girl? I mean, I think we can talk about politics sometimes.

SPEAKER_04

Sometimes. It's okay to don't be afraid.

SPEAKER_01

I know you're a white gay. Um, I'm not afraid. I am terrified. Um, I'm I just want to keep it light, loose, and uh show off my caboose. You know, and I want to be educated. And I want to educate our audience. And I want to be audience. And I want to educate our own. Um, so why don't you talk about your you think?

SPEAKER_04

Mine's like a little deeper than Luke's, but so I got my asshole waxed.

SPEAKER_01

Also, I feel like, of course, Luke wants everyone to have their own you think, but it's like, I don't have just one thing I'm thinking about. I have thinking about so many things. So, but we can go around and share one at a time, I guess. So Donald. No, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a controller. No, I this is your goal. You've been apparently living in Korea for a while, which has apparently is it's very important. You need organization. You need organization. So I understand.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I was I had like uh administrators of the city of Seoul like breathing over my shoulder when I did this. Like, this is a little unorganized.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, could you please have the work on this? Um, I have a couple things to say. So um, so we are filming this on a Thursday evening, and ladies and gentlemen, I have been at a real house with the video.

SPEAKER_01

Ladies and gentlemen, and and all people in between. I hate when people say in between. Can I can I get in my soapbox real quick? Say it. I said in between. Yeah, no, I know. That's that's why I'm talking. Educate him. I know it's not a political podcast.

SPEAKER_04

I know it's not a political podcast, but let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_01

So listen, listen up, you already know. So listen, I don't like when people say everyone in between because it implies that people that are outside of the binary are in between, but actually they're just completely separate.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, they're just confused. They're like, we're just flute. Where are we?

SPEAKER_01

Like in kind of amazing. We'll find our way back to one of the sides.

SPEAKER_04

Hey, Michael, thank you for speaking on that. No, I actually do think that's important, but I'm gonna move on to something a little more important. Yeah. There was a moth in my room, you guys. No, for real. No, for real. How big, how big, how big? So everyone's been asking. This is what I'm you thinking about. I went to moth. I'm gonna tell you if you'd let me. Please. Oh my god. Do you guys are there you know different species of moths? So I don't, but I found out the hard way. So I went to Salt Lake City for. Are we all pussies about moths? Because I really, really. I'm okay. I'm okay with, and this is gonna sound problematic. This is gonna sound problematic. I'm okay with white moths. No, you shouldn't be. You shouldn't be. Well, they're like fluffy and fine. I'm too much. There's a lot, there's more than just they're let me tell you about this moth. I mean, I say pussy on this podcast, but it's very straight up. Let me tell you about this moth, okay? So I went to Salt Lake City for work. I was there for a photo shoot. Um you could put the pieces together. And basically the night before the photo shoot, um I was like, do I you know, I had invitations to go out or not? And I said, you know what? I really need to stay in and relax and refresh. And I really want to be prepared for the big day of work I have tomorrow. I'm gonna give it my all on these photo shoot days. I give it my all he does. He does, I bet. I really do. He does. I wake up early, I give so much energy. So I was like, I need to relax. I said my favorite line you say at those photoshoots.

SPEAKER_03

Let's just get one more for safety.

SPEAKER_04

We're gonna do one more for safety. Often it's like I'm messing something up. But uh, but so I I went back to my hotel room at like eight o'clock. I ordered food, I took a bubble bath, okay? Wow, I um in a hotel. I had some. Oh, I saw your hotel. It was a very nice one.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, I love a bubble bath, and especially in a hotel because it's like cleaning so hard. Yeah, it depends on my hotel, I guess, of course.

SPEAKER_04

It was one where like when I put on the bubble bath, like it filled up in like 60 seconds. It was like the most powerful. That was scary. It was like boo and it was really shooting out high. And so I love that. And I poured some bubbles in there. I sat in there, and I actually was like, I think I could only sit in a bath for like one minute. I got so tired. Anyways, this is not the point.

SPEAKER_03

Scalding hot? Yeah. I don't yeah. I don't like to sit in hot shit.

SPEAKER_04

I don't like hot shit. I was like, I'm falling asleep and falling asleep. So I had like a lot of things. I also love like I love something hot shit.

SPEAKER_01

It's been so hot boots in New York City. So hot boots. And like so sweaty eddy. And oh, that's a drag king. Hello. So sweaty eddy. Like, isn't that a fun name? Anyway, but I teach hot yoga and I love hot yoga. So I always feel really like in like feel safe in New York when it's like blistering hot. And I feel safe in a bathtub in that way. And also, it's been raining today, and it's giving London, which I also feel safe in.

SPEAKER_04

So I feel like the audience is kind of wondering where my moth comes in. So I'm gonna continue. Yeah, I know I would love. So um, so, anyways, I was like, I set, I was like, okay, I want to be very prepared for tomorrow in every way. I set up my outfit for the next day, and I s I packed my outfit for the airport the following day. Oh, wow. And I packed my bags to go.

SPEAKER_01

You make absolutely no sense to me. I know. As I mean, I know that you do this shit because I've been friends with you for so many years. But your personality and your type Aism make no sense together. And that's why we always say that people are paradoxes. Um I'm work hard, play hard. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I'm work hard, play hard.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And also, like, paradoxes are fun. Yeah. Chaotic and that's why I love it. That's why I love you that way too. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Like, yeah, so like I set aside everything, and then so at like 11 p.m. I was like, okay, time to go to bed. I turn as I go to turn off my light, I literally press the button, and a huge being emerges from the light. I was like, no! And a huge being emerges. It is a big black moth. Um, it's a big black moth, and it looks like a flying cockroach. Is it literally like the sh the darkest shade of black? Like, what is a black moth? Yeah, but it's like I've seen like brown moth. I have a picture of it. It it looks like a flying cockroach, and everyone's been telling me it's a it's a moth. And I was like, well, it's a cockroach, but I would fucking kill myself.

SPEAKER_01

In college, I learned a tongue twister, the big black bug, but the big black bear, but the black see? But the big black bear bled Bled blood. Period.

SPEAKER_04

And that's why you didn't get that role. But anyway, so um, so this moth is on the wall, and I'm staring at it, and I'm like, how big? Can we get like a I have a picture of it?

SPEAKER_01

It it was like Well, for the audio listeners, how like what how would you describe a golden dollar or larger? No, larger. An oyster, a drink. Two golden dollars, but a horse.

SPEAKER_04

The size of a horse. No, no, it was a very large, it was a very large. Like a coaster?

SPEAKER_03

It looked like like if you've seen a big cockroach, it was that, but with when he flying. That is my new any any fucking bug that can fly. No, and that only did it fly.

SPEAKER_04

It was flying very it was like it was gay panicking toward your face.

SPEAKER_01

It would be fun to have the P.O.B. of the moth who was like, oh my god, a gay guy!

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, I have a huge shoot tomorrow, and I stuck all my moth clothes out, and now someone is touching my leg.

SPEAKER_04

So, so I I tried to get it, but then I was like, this is not gonna be happening for me. So I was like, I called the front desk, and I'm like, well, I was actually on FaceTime with Peter, my husband, um, who's also a producer who's in the other room, and I was like, sometimes producing. And he was like, I'm going to bed. I was like, good night. And I called him like a two minutes later, I was like, there's a moth! Can you fly here? Yeah, now and then I was like, okay, I'll call the front desk. And so I called him and I'm like whispering because I don't want the moth to start flying away. He's like, I was like, I was like, hi, um, there's a really large moth in my room. If you can send someone up immediately. Oh my god. So then I throw on a bathrobe because I was in the nude. I sleep in the nude. I can see that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, did you like put underwear on too? Or no? No. Whoa, that's really brave. Was the cock? Oh, you don't even mention you were naked in front of this moth.

SPEAKER_04

Well, first of all, yeah, you were petrified. Well, sometimes people like uh skin to skin. So I thought maybe we could bond via skin to skin and then I could capture it. Oh, okay. The moth? Yeah, like you know, like babies need skin to skin. So do moths. So do moths. So anyway, so I this guy comes, this man from housekeeping comes, and I'm like, and I open the door and it's like, hi, it it's it's over there. Keep your voice down. And then as he walks, the moth flies away, and it and I was like, no! So then the moth lies like behind the headboard, and then this man tries for like an hour to find this moth. Meanwhile, I was like intentionally going to bed early, and then at like midnight, he's like, I think I have to call it. Like, I think we're like I'm clocking. Yeah, I have a family. Literally. He's like, he's like, I have things to do in this hotel. He was also dealing with other emergencies in the hotel, and I was like, how could there be a bigger emergency than this? Right, that's there was a fire. I heard about it. I read about a massive fire that burned the hotel. Besides that one room. He was like, We could like move your room. I assume you like don't want to do that. I was like, no, I'd like to move room. So it's midnight? Yeah, midnight. And you're moving rooms. Moving rooms. So he starts carrying my bags to another room on the floor.

SPEAKER_03

So much. Okay, that's like a laborer.

SPEAKER_04

He offered, by the way. All right. I didn't say shit. I'm judging. I just called the front desk and I said, please escape me from this moth. And I couldn't go to bed with a cockroach moth running about. So this moth, let me tell you, this moth, so they they we start moving my room, and I'm like, I know this moth is gonna come out right when we when we start moving. It did not, but I unpack, it's like now it's like 12.30. And I I texted uh my co-worker and I was like, oh my god, uh, I had to move because of moths, and she said, There's a moth in my room too. There's a moth infestation. Number one. Number two, it's 1230 at this point. I'm like, oh shit, I left my toothbrush in the other room. Oh my god. I go back, it's locked. I had to wait like half an hour for them to come back and get it. Just go to bed. I did not go to no, well, I need to be have pearly whites for a photo shoot, honey. So I had behind the camera for. Um, so, anyways, I ended up having a really late night because of this moth. And and I like set all my coworker had a moth and I just like grabbed everything and threw it on the ground.

SPEAKER_01

Can I say a few things about moths? You can. So that first of all, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing that. That's really vulnerable, and thank you for opening up for that way. Thank you. Huge it was huge, like the moths. It was huge. So I think actually a black moth is okay, but a white moth, like small white moths, will eat your clothes. I would rather eat my clothes in my face. No, no, you don't. They you do not want a moth.

SPEAKER_03

Like the moth that like old people's breaths smell like? Yes. Mothball. Mothball. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

That's the white moth. Yeah. The white moth. You really. You know, because you fuck old men. That got cut out of the first episode. Actually, I think it was still mostly. Well, no, it was still. No, it was still in there that you slept with an old man. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

It was in there that you slept with an old man. I just check out some of the words like beep beep makeup. Try make bee!

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, shoving up my baby. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Would you have moved um rooms for a moth? Would you have stayed a moth?

SPEAKER_03

Honey, um. I would have stayed for a moth, but you know that I moved out of my last country my last apartment be f in New York for a wasp infestation. Yeah. So I'm like very scared.

SPEAKER_01

And you lived in that room with wasps every morning.

SPEAKER_03

Every morning I would wake up and there would be a wasp being like, I never got stung. I'm not scared of being stung. I'm just fucking really scared of flying shit. And the naked point, I would wake up, I sleep in Bucks or Breeze. And I would like wake up and like be like, okay, no wasps. And then I'll go make my coffee. And then as I'm making my coffee, like a wasp would be like chaotically flying somewhere. So then I'd be like, and then I'd be like stuck in one room, just like I'm too scared to go out and I'm in my like underwear. They're gonna like, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So I get I get that like vulnerability feeling. I felt very proud to have moved around. So they got an upset about it as well. Do you? Do you or do you?

SPEAKER_03

I think the moth I would have slept with. Yeah. Well, like you would have had sex. Like I would have been like, okay, I'm gonna turn the lights off and it's gonna sleep.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. No, but I was doing that and they were being weird. And then also, I was posting about this in real time, and someone and I was like try about to go to bed, and someone messaged me, Oh my god, you're staying in that haunted hotel. I was like, no! It was called what was it called? The Grand American.

SPEAKER_03

I think it was no, I think it was literally the Grand American. Yeah, and if you're watching it. It was like the first thing I got to when I came back from Korea was just like, hey, meet me at my hotel for a drink, and I was like, the Grand American! Like, oh, he's changed. Whoa, I'm back, baby.

SPEAKER_01

I just want everyone to know that I yawned just now, and it's not because I'm bored. It's because you had a moth fly outside. Yeah. Um, yeah, I would definitely have stayed in the room and not have called anyone about it.

SPEAKER_04

Well, you have to advocate for yourself in this life. We have one life.

SPEAKER_01

I of cour I advocate for myself all the time. All the time. But in this case, I wouldn't have bothered me so much. There's been so many fun topics, but I can't help but wonder, Michael, what are you you thinking about? There's been something on my mind that I really need to discuss. I want to update everyone about the massage parlor in my neighborhood. So my god, we're still on the I know, broken record, broken record. No, I because I told them last time that this is this is a quick we're just doing a quick update and then we'll move on to where I'm actually thinking about it.

SPEAKER_04

The thinkers are not that attached to the massage parlor.

SPEAKER_01

I just want to say the place that I went to, if go back and listen to that episode, the place that I went to is not the one that was shut down. So that place is fine. If you want to rub and tug in New York City in the Upper East Side, let me know. This is for straight men or bisexual men or pansexual men. Oh, well, they should add it to the list. Okay. So moving on from that place that I'm not going to anymore.

SPEAKER_04

That was the update that you just wanted to give on the podcast. That it was we have precious time on earth. We pre- and that's the update.

SPEAKER_01

People were literally last time they were like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_04

Say something interesting. I just gave an incredible moth story. Say something interesting for once. We got it on the show. For once on our podcast. Really good. For once. I have to be with Donald on this one. No, you both don't like that. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, that's not a youth.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, it was what are you thinking about?

SPEAKER_01

I'm thinking about a lot of things, and I'm gonna do the story. That wasn't like a full thought. It was like a This is a narrative podcast. It was just a thing. It was like some shit that I was. I was bringing the circle back. It was I was bringing the circle back. Don't talk about the husband like that. Okay, so I want to say I've been reading Lena Dunham's book, and I really I know that we're by reading, you mean listening? No, I'm literally reading it.

SPEAKER_04

I'm listening to it. Yeah, and I think that's okay. That is okay. Is your sister listening to it? She's not. Um, but too close to home. I cannot be reading books, so I'd be listening.

SPEAKER_01

So I've been reading that book, and I know that we're all into baggy clothes right now, and that's the thing, but I kind of miss like mumble core, indie, bowtie, like I have a yubail. No cardigans. But I miss integral to the case.

SPEAKER_04

What are you trying to say? What are you trying to say, Michael? I missed it. What are you trying to say, Michael?

SPEAKER_01

Fuck, I don't miss the Jason Moran.

SPEAKER_02

I miss those like quirky guys.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, I guess, I guess while you're talking about it, I don't miss it at all. I'm actually so glad to be passed. You do like drink coffee. Do you know what's like mustache?

SPEAKER_03

Do you know what I'm like, I miss that. And have a fucking uh no, I don't miss that.

SPEAKER_01

I think I missed the the um okay, I don't miss that. I'm realizing I don't miss that. I just think we are in such a homogenous era of of baggy clothing within the gay community. And I full community. The full community, which to me is just the gay community because the gay community is LGBT plus. Right, full. So that plus is straight included in plus. No, it's not. And for and for my undermining. And straight. Like do it to everyone. Yeah. Yeah. You guys can be impressive. Well, they like to fucking put themselves everywhere. Yeah. So Hudson Williams. I know this one, I feel like he's sucked a dick. Or he's got his own.

SPEAKER_03

I know who I think in that realm is uh what's his name? Uh Harry Styles. Oh, Harry Styles.

SPEAKER_01

I'm like, you fucking fake ass queer boy. Wait, I know. Say it. So I know this straight dude who literally inserted himself into a gay podcast right though the week before Pride Month.

SPEAKER_03

So weird because I know this straight guy who does community service for a gay podcast.

SPEAKER_02

And that's a very bitch.

SPEAKER_04

Luke just did what the game's called reading.

SPEAKER_02

Wow, mother really read. Oh, but speaking of reading, so I'm reading Lena Dunner's book. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And we have a real thing. I guess what I'm saying is you don't miss, I don't miss the hipster style or those annoying Jason Murazi boys. I actually don't miss that at all. I'm actually grateful to be passionate. What are you nostalgic for?

SPEAKER_04

Because you're not clear about it.

SPEAKER_01

I well, I'm kind of I'm trying to discover it right now. But I am nostalgic for like the revival during the time of like the beatna culture. I think it's just like it's when Warby Parker first became a thing and like glasses were cool. And like I miss like nerdy, cute hot boys who are smart but not geeky.

SPEAKER_04

Got it. You know, last night someone was like, she wears glasses. Do you feel represented?

SPEAKER_01

Um, I do feel represented, yes.

SPEAKER_03

The thing is, I feel like who you just mentioned is like every single male who lives in Brooklyn. Right. No, but it became too much. So what are you nostalgic for?

SPEAKER_01

No, no, no, no, no, no. That was every man that lives in Brooklyn. Now they all dress like they are hicks and they wear like oversized baggy cargo pants and camo tees. I have to say, I did notice I mentioned earlier is hot to me too. I'm just like, I don't know, I feel like I'm missing something.

SPEAKER_04

So you're missing something. And what it is is getting to the point. So I'll say um I worked a real tools. I worked a real housewife reunion today, and I did notice that all the glam gays were wearing very long shorts versus a pant or versus a short. So what are you nostalgic for?

SPEAKER_01

All that I'm saying is I'm nostalgic for something, and I'm nostalgic for something that I'm nostalgic about. And if you know what I'm nostalgic about, then I would love to know about whether or not I am nostalgic about it.

SPEAKER_04

You're like every fucking media corporation is like, we need nostalgia. We need nostalgia.

SPEAKER_01

No, I do feel nostalgic. No, what I'm saying is I feel that I actually am really enjoying baggy clothes right now because it's way more comfortable than ever. And I do enjoy that. I don't know why we ever wore clothes that were chic.

SPEAKER_03

90s and early 2000s were chic for me. Well, that's like kind of what we're back to is 90s. Exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But I just figured out my style.

SPEAKER_04

No, I'm gonna talk. Um I I'm not I'm not gonna say who or where why, but I asked a group of housewives today if they were a doll, what would they dress that their doll like? Yeah. Um, and I want to ask you guys that. Like, if you if you had a doll what of yourself, what would you dress it like? Like you could dress it 90s and beat next.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I would dress mine as pink pancake, obviously. That's not obvious.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, like how would you dress it if you could dress it any way you want?

SPEAKER_03

I usually like for me that I play video games because I'm a straight man. And so like you end up you build avatars, which is kind of like building a doll. Yeah, you play the sim as I get yourself. Nice try. And so I usually just like what ends up happening is I I make my sim like my avatar like the the like hottest version of what I think I am. And I'm like, I'm like, this is this is me. But then it's just like this jack. The sim is real, this is me. I'm exactly where I am supposed to be now. No, I just make it like look like the hottest version of what I want to be.

SPEAKER_04

Like on Snapchat, you can make like those avatars.

SPEAKER_03

I haven't been on Snapchat since um. Me neither.

SPEAKER_04

But you know what Michael does on there? Graphic gay homosexual behavior. Yeah. I don't do that on Snapchat. In fact, I don't have Snapchat. No, but even before I had you want my dick? Yeah, no, but Michael's like Michael's like, oh yeah, I like sex that guy on Snapchat. Oh yeah, yeah, I send that guy news on Snapchat. Why Snapchat? Snapchat. Why not iMessage?

SPEAKER_03

Why not Instagram reels? First of all, Snapchat disappeared. Why not Venmo? Why not?

SPEAKER_04

Posting Instagram Reels on my dick. Yeah, but like like this if you want tagging the girls.

SPEAKER_01

It's very convenient and they disappear, which is fun. Okay, but there's other disappearing I do it on Instagram DM too, man. Why?

SPEAKER_03

Okay, for me, I'm like the disappearing thing is so like finicky and you can kind of cheat code it where I'm like if you want to keep it. Yeah, you're gonna find it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, so it's gonna be fun.

SPEAKER_01

I think that if I think it's about the the consent that you're doing. So I'm sending my disappearing photo. If they take a screenshot of that or if they share that amongst people or whatever, then they know that they violated that. Yeah, yeah. But if I send them a picture that doesn't go away, then that happens on Instagram too. You can disappear. I do it on Instagram too. I do both. It's like some people watch things on YouTube, some people watch things on TikTok. I do both.

SPEAKER_03

Is Snapchat like, does Snapchat have like more of a gay vibe going on like Twitter YouTube?

SPEAKER_04

Michael's like one of the only people I know who's like constantly sending dick pics on on Snapchat.

SPEAKER_01

I just am like single and like going through Snapchatch.

SPEAKER_04

I know, but I'm like, I'm surprised that you're like, oh, I send this guy Snapchat's. I'm like, all those guys are on Snapchat too.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think way more people are in Snapchat than you believe, and maybe no one wants to send you a picture.

SPEAKER_04

First of all, everyone wants to send me a picture. They just might be like, oh, he was in the New York Times for marriage. Like maybe I shouldn't have to do it. I was in New York. Yeah. I that's kind of group thing. But we're gonna talk about what the group is thinking about, okay? And I have I have some good ones, okay? I have some good ones. Like an hour 15. Perfect. Recently I was watching Survivor, and there was a major flub um on the live.

SPEAKER_01

The finale of Survivor. Yes.

SPEAKER_04

So basically, it's season 50, the ultimate, ultimate survivor season. I have been a Survivor fan since season one. I watch every episode, every season. And this season is supposed to be like mega, mega all-stars. They used to do live uh reunions and finales of the of the show, but the host is like, it's too much pressure, like I don't like doing it. So they haven't done one for like 20 seasons or something. Now last night they said the fans have voted we are gonna bring back a live finale where they're gonna play the Survivor game, and then six months later, we're gonna reveal who wins live on the show.

SPEAKER_01

So not even the people knew who won? Correct. How do they not know?

SPEAKER_04

I mean, they probably spoke to each other, but they don't know for sure. Like what do you mean? Like, so it came down to what? At the end of Survivor, yeah, it's a vote. At the end of Survivor, the way it works is it flips, and the people who you voted out now vote for you to win the show. So everyone who you betrayed now has to vote for one of you to win. Right. So they did that on Amazon. Yeah. So basically, but the the final episode was like the final four people, and basically, the final, like the final four, those two people who were up for elimination, they had to build a fire like you saw Cerie do. So they were building, they were about to build a fire, and one of them was like, I've built a million fires, I got this. And the other guy was like, I'm an underdog, I've been testing and trying and doing everything I can to learn how to make a fire. And so it's like, and you'll see how this happens at the after the commercial break. And after the commercial break, they come out and Jeff Brooks, the host, comes out and goes, and let's bring in Rizzo. Oh, Rizzo, you really should have learned how to make fire before you came out here. Now, why didn't you try harder? You really lost that. Well, welcome to the jury, you are out, and now and everyone, so it hadn't aired at home that he lost the challenge. But they thought so. They were building it up to be like he is the underdog, and then we're like, oh, but is he gonna win? And then he doesn't. And so basically all the contestants, including Sari, they were like, Jeff, it hasn't aired, it hasn't aired yet.

SPEAKER_01

How did they know it didn't air?

SPEAKER_04

Because they were sitting in the audience watching it.

SPEAKER_01

Oh. And so And so Jeff just got ahead of himself or one of the producers or something.

SPEAKER_04

The producers live moment you could ever mind the Oscars.

SPEAKER_03

It was literally literally. Can you fuck that up? And like, because there's so many, like, think of all the rounds of approvals that are like posting a fucking TikTok brand accounts. Like when you're on live TV and just some rogue dude can just like do that.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know. I was like, someone's getting fired. I literally melted into my skin. I was like, this is so uncomfortable. And then they tried to like make jokes about at the rest of the show. They were like, okay, we're not gonna give away the winner of the season this time. Ha ha ha. Freaks.

SPEAKER_01

They were freaked out, probably. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I love shit like that though. It reminds me like everyone. Like it because it kind of reminds you, like, sometimes it can feel a little like intimidating and suffocating. Like, oh my god, like there's so many like giant things running the world, and my life is like so I can't really control my life because all these things, like these giant corporations, like are suffocating, and then you're like, they're all idiots and they all fucking do the dumbest.

SPEAKER_01

I will say that obviously this is a horrible time, but COVID really was like the equalizer for that because nobody knew how to use Zoom. And the amount of things that we had to like watch and and go into when some like big CEO or whatever the hell was like, so I'm just trying to like lag into Zoom. So we're just kind of having some technical difficulties here. And that's why I think it might be muted. Oh, I think your mic might be muted. So our mic is muted.

SPEAKER_04

So your mic is muted. Wait, that's how that guy got famous, also, because uh Lucas Gage. Lucas Gage. Oh, right. Because he was auditioning Lucas Gage, this actor. Yeah. Um, he was in Smile 2. He bashed his face. I love Smile Smile 2. Holy shit. Do you know who I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, the guy who buyed it. He also got his ass ate in Luke.

SPEAKER_01

He's kind of like Luke if he were gay. Well, his name is Lucas. I know, but I feel like they have a similar vibe. Like gay Luke. Yeah. I think he's bi.

SPEAKER_04

I think he's dating a woman now.

SPEAKER_01

Oh work.

SPEAKER_04

We've lost all of our games.

SPEAKER_01

That's a way. Being bi is awesome. Being bi is awesome.

SPEAKER_03

So, anyway, so he um all my money to buy people. Yeah, yeah. Bye Dinn.

SPEAKER_04

Um, but he he was auditioning for um something, and the people who were like Zoom auditioning him didn't realize that he was they were not on mute, and they're like, oh, look at this guy in his disgusting loud harmony. Yes!

SPEAKER_03

I remember seeing that. Yeah, wait, that's literally and it went viral.

SPEAKER_01

I just don't know how he got the recording of that. Was he recording it himself?

SPEAKER_03

I think he maybe he must have been, yeah. I remember that. I didn't know that that was Lucas Gage.

SPEAKER_04

Pretty crazy.

SPEAKER_03

I feel like oh that that if I was like an actor, that would like piss me off, like just being like, fuck, that guy's so lucky. Like that's like a mad lucky thing to like be able to screen record that and go viral. I mean, I think that's great. It's not like anything bad happened to you. He's taking lemons and turning them into lemonade.

SPEAKER_04

He turned lemons into Lulu.

SPEAKER_03

Um, another thing about lemons and Lulu is um recently I'm I feel like I'm on a 14-hour flight from David to New York. But word. Whatever, you get like business plus. No, now I don't. You know that I don't do that anymore.

SPEAKER_04

You still get something plus more than I get.

SPEAKER_03

I get cream plus. Yeah, honey, and I'm not gonna. But it's not like coach. I'm still coach minus. Oh, nice. Like my head is like going like this, like only once every 16 minutes instead of once every 11 minutes.

SPEAKER_01

And for the just the listeners, he's kind of rolling his head.

SPEAKER_03

Rolling the it's going circle, circle, circle. Talk about another thing that where you think groupthinking.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Uh and that is the tonight's show is ending officially. Yeah, and you can call it the tonight show.

SPEAKER_04

I would call it the late show. Which one's the tonight show? The tonight show is Jimmy Fallon, which is actually stronger than ever. Ratings are up in the social media.

SPEAKER_01

But I think I think Colbert's show the ratings are incredible too, no?

SPEAKER_04

They were good. Um, and someone who's worked on both shows, maybe I should speak about this. Whoa. So uh You're very spicy today. Ah, bitch! Chris, sorry, Chris, Chris is my spice. I just see how complex. Chris doesn't like when I'm spicy. Chris is one of our listeners who told Michael.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I wouldn't say he fully listens, I would say he watches the reels.

SPEAKER_03

Let's hear from the page who did the page program about. And I was an intern for two months at three at the late show.

SPEAKER_04

So the late show with Stephen Colbert used to be the late show with David Letterman, is ending because CBS, yeah, I can say it. My corporate enemies are yeah, I could say it, corporate non-baddies. They um, you know, they kneel to the altar of Trump.

SPEAKER_01

And is that why it's getting cancelled? Because Trump said so. Because Trump is like CBS, you have to not Colbert keeps saying, like, I can't say anything, but you can and but I feel like he's legally not allowed to say. No, it's literally CBS is like um because I because they're saying like it's because even if the ratings are super high, it's not um advantageous for us to have a show like this. That's not the case.

SPEAKER_04

I listened to a deep dive podcast about this, which means that I've done my research. And basically they said instead of asking them, like, how can you um remodel the show to make it more financially successful? Like, what can you cut? What whatever? They didn't even ask it, they just canceled it.

SPEAKER_01

That's crazy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So what's gonna happen when Trump cancels this podcast? So I don't think he has the power to do that because so far we can't cut any costs.

SPEAKER_03

What if it's like, all right, like Trump is like, you think is working, but groupthink, you guys have a you guys have to cut.

SPEAKER_01

No, he loves groupthink. He hates you think. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04

I really like the Celebrity Apprentice. Personally, I love Home Alone 2. Oh yeah. Since then, I haven't really fucked with his vibe. What has he been up to? I haven't checked his IMDV. We haven't seen what he's you thinking about. Yeah, what do you think he's you thinking about?

SPEAKER_03

He's like, Mewan McDonald.

SPEAKER_04

Stupid ass.

SPEAKER_03

Me won poopin' diaper. Yeah. Did you just know that he literally shits his pants up? Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Like all the time.

SPEAKER_01

Well, you are the king of conspiracy theories. So I think. I mean, I also like I think I don't know how you think Michael.

SPEAKER_03

Can we go into like Epstein files on this podcast? Let's talk about conspiracy theories. I have something I just got I just got hardwalled by our sponsors to not talk about Epstein.

SPEAKER_04

The last thing that I want to a group think about is something that's all over the internet is like my top five horror stories. So, like, what are your horror stories? So, like, I'm gonna start with one. Um about the Epstein pilot.

SPEAKER_03

Wait, so just for someone who has been not that on Instagram and shit for a little while, it's like it's like my top five horror stories when my top five horror movies, when brunch isn't bottomless.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, okay, okay. When my phone's on one percent. So it's not actually about real horror stories. No, no, no. What is like the worst? What's that's for you though? So like um Michael's like um when your parents don't give you money to buy a home.

SPEAKER_03

That's what I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_04

I was actually gonna say about humans check ghosting you.

SPEAKER_01

Um that was shitty. Yeah, that one that you said would never be true, but the human check one was really shitty. Um, I hate a few things. Yeah. One is when people But not hate.

SPEAKER_04

It has to be like, oh, like I'm horrified by this.

SPEAKER_01

No, for me, it's like oh, you're a horror movie. My breath smells. No bitch. I'm just kidding. That's not a good one. Um a horror movie is when someone says, Have you ever thought about being on Drag Race? Oh. Have you ever played a drag race? And like it's an original idea. It's very annoying, I think, to say. Right. Um it's a horror movie for me. No, that that that counts as a horror movie. Yeah, what's what's Luki's?

SPEAKER_03

I have one, but I I feel like I'm gonna get judged for this. But if it's like if I'm on a long flight and the person next to me like right away strikes up a conversation with me. No, no, that's a horror movie. I'm like, I really I want to be nice and I want to be chill, but I also want to be like That's actually a horror movie.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and no offense, but I would say even a 10-minute Uber drive, I feel that way. So, Donald, what's your horror movie? Um, I have a couple. So, I mean, I'm a very sweaty one. Yeah, I'm a very sweaty man in New York City. I always carry around a fan. Yeah. So if that runs out of battery, like what am I gonna do? Just sweat everywhere? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Like that's crazy. I remember once running into you on a train and you had a cloth. I used to carry around a cloth. And then you were like, but it was like a j was like a towel. It was a mid-sized towel, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I used to carry around a towel, but now I just have like a power fan that's basically a Dyson on hand. Um, and it really gets me going. It really gets me um cool, calm and collective.

SPEAKER_03

This actually reminds me that I have a different horror story, which is having diarrhea somewhere without a dude wipe. Oh like like suddenly having exposed to diarrhea and only having like dry.

SPEAKER_04

Or just like having coffee and then not having a clear bathroom in which to attend.

SPEAKER_03

I would say Yeah, it's like I have like poop horror. Like more. I have poop horror stories and I've lived them out. I've never lived them out.

SPEAKER_01

I've never lived them out. I've never lived them out. And if any of them are. Don't lie.

SPEAKER_04

When have I chat myself?

SPEAKER_01

You chat yourself when didn't you chat yourself when you were visiting Peter's family once? When on a on a first of all a run. First of all, the legal team told you not to pass that.

SPEAKER_04

First of all, I I was on a run and I really had to go to the bathroom so badly. But you made it? I no, I was on the side of the road and I pulled my pants off. But then you don't get white. That's like a low. Peter's family is listening. I'm gonna be very clear about this, okay? I'm not proud about it, but at least I didn't shit my pants, but I didn't. Right.

SPEAKER_01

I shipped my phone. There's something called a washer dryer, honey. So basically, there's also things called dude wipes too. I went on a run.

SPEAKER_04

I went on a run, okay? And on this run, I was running, running, running, as one does. Yeah, like America does on bathroom. Yeah, and then I was I ran miles and miles, and then on the way back, I was like, I really have to go to the I was like, I really have to go to the bathroom, and I was like, okay, but hopefully you just make it until we get home. And I was like, I really have to go. And I was like, oh no. I was in the middle of a field, a large field, a large open field. And I just dropped trow, sat, and let it all go. Was it like a few? Do you know? Wait, do you know that?

SPEAKER_01

This is actually this it was this is the inspiration for M. Night Shyamalan's movie The Science. Yes. It's called Science, just so you know. It's just called Science. Why? Well, he decided to take the the office. Did that happen in like Facebook? No, he's just his Instagram fun. Oh, it's inspired.

SPEAKER_03

Wait, yeah, I I really want to say something also about. If you see something, say something. I see something and I say something and I spell something and I feel something. But something interesting is I, since I have had um um housing insecurity. How dare you! Hey, you were just on a multiple home. You were just on a shoot of um, I'm pretty sure a housewife franchise where one of them is like always talking about how she was raised homeless or whatever. Listen, people say things. People say things.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, so your housing insecurity.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, okay, but no, actually though, with poop the for poop topic, yeah. I because I don't have like my home where I can like wake up and have my regular routine and shit, that is stressful. I started, but like something that happened is like my body now is just like way chiller. Like I I never have diarrhea, and like I poop like at totally fine times, and it's always a beautiful poop.

SPEAKER_01

So you're telling me that I should get become homeless. I guess you should give up your run.

SPEAKER_03

I don't know why. Like, basically, like once I like totally fucked up my like body's rhythm and like didn't give myself a like secure place of like I'm gonna wake up and then like have my coffee and shit. I have I don't have any fucking loose shits, and I think it's because like my body is just like you're gonna poop once a day and it's just gonna be like a solid shit. What do you have for breakfast in Korea? I don't eat breakfast ever.

SPEAKER_01

So I think that's part of why you have diarrhea.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I do intermittent fasting. Uh I minimum is 12 hours, but I try to do like 18 hours.

SPEAKER_01

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_03

But in Korea, when I I like would wake up and I would well, A, like when you like do Uber Eats there kind of vibe, it's not it's coupon eats, but it's like it's super cheap and it gets there in like no time. Like if you get like a full dinner that you're like, oh my god, I'm ordering for two people, it's super fun, it's there in 10 minutes. Whoa, and it's like amazing. Yeah, and it's so fresh and that would be hard for me to ever do anything. But it's also like cheaper, like it's like like so. I was kind of doing that a lot. I would wake up basically literally my. I'd get a coffee later. I would wake up and I would my alarm would go off and I would order coffee. But you have to do a minimum of like 12 bucks. So I'll get like a coffee and a tea and a small and like a like sandwich, maybe for like later in the day. And then it would show up in like 10 minutes, and my doorbell would ring, and I'd be like, okay, time to get out of bed. And then I'd pick it up, and then I would have my coffee, and then I would put my sandwich in the fridge.

SPEAKER_04

So nice.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it was interesting. Well, I want that.

SPEAKER_04

No one will let me have that.

SPEAKER_03

Um you have to do is move to Korea. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

So wait, I feel like we should get to our final segment.

SPEAKER_01

What is that, Caught? What do you even think?

SPEAKER_03

Wait, can I join for the what do you even think? Of course. You're always. Let's do one more for safety. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

It's time for our final segment. What do you even think?

SPEAKER_03

This is a little challenge.

SPEAKER_04

Wait, let's have Luke explain it. Okay, explain it.

SPEAKER_03

This is a little challenge. Wait, let's have Luke explain it. This is a little challenge where Donald knows a lot about reality TV and Michael knows a lot about Broadway and theater. Yes! And so Michael throws a random name that he doesn't think Donald will understand his way. And Donald has to explain the gay through his brain to tell us who the random person Michael opposed to him is. And flip first of flight flight.

SPEAKER_01

Do you have one to throw at one of us?

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so I think that you should go to Michael. Michael should go to me and then I'll go to you last. Okay, great. Michael. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

What do you even think about Audrey Bracco?

SPEAKER_01

Audrey Braco. Thank you so much for telling allowing me to express my um expertise on Audrey Bracco. Audrey Bracco is the owner of the Broncos, which is a baseball team. And I well, it's the Broncos, but she didn't want it to be like a direct um, you know, representation of her. So because that seems like really egotistical. So she added an N in there. But it's I mean, she is now the owner of the Broncos. Right. But it's actually a family thing because it's been passed down from generation to generation to generation. And then how do you think she got on reality TV? Um, well, because they made a TV show called the Meet the Broncos. Of course, and she is now the heir of the team, the owner of the Broncos. 10 seconds. So that is why she became a reality TV star because it's kind of it's similar to like baseball wives or one of those shows, but it's like baseball owners. And I think it's football actually.

SPEAKER_04

One wow, wait, that was really good. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

You were actually like dead on, yeah. Do you know who that is? 100%. Yeah. Tell me how right I was.

SPEAKER_03

99% erronic.

SPEAKER_04

I'm gonna put my phone down. You were you were correct. Who's Audrey Bracco? Um, I would go ahead and say she was the winner of Survivor 50. Um but not just happened. But not only that, she previously competed on three different seasons of Survivor: Survivor Korang, Survivor Game Changer, Survivor Edge of Extinction. Now, Aubrey, she has glasses. Yeah. She started her career as a meek and neurotic member of the Brains Tribe. There was a Survivor Brains versus Bronze versus Beauty. So she was in the Brains Tribe versus Beauty. Yeah, that's crazy. But she quickly became a major strategic force. She has made it to the end one other time on Survivor against this woman, Michelle, who beat her. Michelle Obama. Yeah. Yeah. So it's very rare. She made it very far. She was in this season with Sari, where everyone had advantages, so then Sarie just went home. But she finally went home. This season. No.

SPEAKER_01

That happened another time.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, but um basically she just won Survivor.

SPEAKER_01

Um, congrats to her. Congrats to Aubrey. You did deserve it. Also, I wanted to circle back to Sari and say her. She probably wouldn't have even won because it went down to fire, right?

SPEAKER_04

If the fire thing happened towards her, she wouldn't have won fire, but if maybe she could have won a challenge here and there. You never know. Okay. Listen, Sari is the best person in the world. I agree. And I'm still reeling from her loss now. Um, Michael, do you want to ask Luke what he did? Yeah, Luke.

SPEAKER_01

I know that you are a big expert on the person Christopher Caldwell. Please tell me who that is. Oh, no, you say what do you even think about? What do you even think about Christopher Caldwell? And I have 60 seconds to explain.

SPEAKER_03

And you're time.

SPEAKER_04

Am I timing him? Okay, your time starts now.

SPEAKER_03

Christopher Caldwell was a young gay man. Surprise, surprise. Yeah. Um, going by Christopher. Yeah. Um, who believed that Winnie the Pooh was real and that he was Christopher Robbins. Whoever the fucking thing was. Yeah, Christopher Robbins. Okay. So he basically had um like name phobia or name ph uh name nymphomania and against his own name. So he wanted to fuck his name into Christopher Robbins so that he could be best friends with the Pooh. Yeah. And so that's all like random backstory because at the end of the day, he was just a Broadway actor who was in 20 seconds stretch it out. A beautiful play called Spring Awakening, where he played um alongside Lucas Grimm. And he played, and he's saying, and then Butterfly. And the main thing is that like on his cast bio in the playbill, he said, I fucked my own name to become Christopher Robbins. And this is what he's famous for.

SPEAKER_01

You were right about one thing, and that that that Christopher Calbill ha it was is gay, has been on Broadway. Um, but the thing is that I think you would actually know what his professional name is, which is Bob the Drag Queen. Oh, yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

The traitors season that I've been in the after show for. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You are looking at an editor of the Wait, I love Bob though. Yeah, love Bob the Drag Queen. I feel like we all know Bob One, Drag Race, and I'm gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_03

So what is Bob Why was super into the Winnie the Pooh, like fucking her own name thing like that? So you actually just made that out. Oh, that was you, yeah. Gotcha.

SPEAKER_04

Um, Luke, who should I be thinking about?

SPEAKER_03

So I would love for you to remind all of us about Nahongjing. Okay. Why do you even think about Nahong Jing?

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Three, two, one. Go! So Nahang Jin is of the Jin Empire, obviously. I know you love a Jin martini, honey. He has been drinking Jin martinis over and over. So I can only assume that a warm martini that Nahan Jin is from the Jin family, Jin Empire. And Jin is famously from Asia. And that is where you live right now. Yes. And so I think you must have uh seen this family.

SPEAKER_03

No, you know this though, because you know them.

SPEAKER_04

And I know them very well. And so I know I know that you've met the the uh descendants of this family, and you said, Oh, these are my people, they make my gin. Um, and I think that's really cool that you got to know them on your travels. Even though you're gonna move back to New York on your travels to Korea, you said I'm learning about the gin that uh is here. 100%. Um but also they might be an actor or a theater or a music or a movie.

SPEAKER_03

100%. Okay. So I think that you were like so spot on about like how I'm like on this global like drinking gin. Globalization. Yeah. And it's the globalization exactly. And um, so Na Hong Jin um doesn't specifically as a male, not a female, as you might have I can't remember you can say a female. He doesn't really like align himself with like jin as a liquor specifically. He's a Korean filmmaker and uh a very famous one who uh To who? Not me. Not to you, but I know who you were talking about. To me, I knew it, I knew it. And you did he's just from South Korean, has made uh he makes a lot of like fucked up like his most famous movie is called The Wailing, and he makes a lot of like The Wailing Wall, like demon, Korean demon movies that are fucked up. I like demon movies. Yeah, The Wailing is amazing, it's on Netflix. And uh, but he's coming up with a new movie that looks amazing called Hope, and it like the trailer just dropped and it was at Cannes, and it like basically looks like I heard it got a 20-minute standing ovation and then it was sold for 17 million. Yeah, and also my album, my album is dropping, it's dropping. Anyway, I really put you in a corner by giving you a Korean director that I knew you had to do.

SPEAKER_04

No, I'm actually, I think it's really cool that our audience is getting to learn something today, and that's because we have a Korean guest, so thank you.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you so much. Well, we've been talking for a whole load of freaking stuff.

SPEAKER_02

No, I don't want it to end you guys. I know.

SPEAKER_04

I'm having so much fun forever, wait forever. Let's leave here and have it then listen to it.

SPEAKER_03

This is a new uh segment. It's called Don't Even Think. Yeah, the new segment, Don't Even Think, where you listen to us, go to bed and sleep.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I think that these two are absolutely done thinking. Obviously, that's clear. What are you? We're going to do that. I'm certainly, I'm certainly done thinking. And with that, keep thinking and keep your thinking, Caps on.

SPEAKER_02

My name is Pink Pancake. I'm the Prima Donald.

SPEAKER_03

And I'm the first guest ever Straight Luke. Bye now.

SPEAKER_04

You think You Think is produced and edited by Straight Luke, aka Luke Martin, and kind of sort of by Peter Shum. Art by Curtis Brown and music by Jack Rayner.