Pancake's Birthday Episode, If You Can Believe!!

In this week’s episode, Prima and Pancake are celebrating Pancake's Birthday and thinking about Pancake's Birthday, fast fashion, and recapping their insane Saturday night out.

Hosted by The Prima Donald (@theprimadonald) & Pink Pancake (@hausofpancake)

Produced by Luke Martin (AKA Straight Luke) & kind of sort of by Peter Schum

Art by Curtis Brown Photography

Music by Jack Rayner

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You're really struggling to get this one out.

SPEAKER_02 0:02

I know I started it three times.

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Yeah, you three times, but each time it seems harder. Why, I guess? What are you hoping will will improve this next time?

SPEAKER_02 0:12

I think just maybe like if it's like a shorter kind of situation. Yeah, let's start that one from the top. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Okay, thinkers. It's time to put your thing.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Welcome. No way. Three, two, one. Welcome to You Think.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

A podcast by Two Gays That's Out on the Prima Donald. I'm Pink Pancake, and it's my birthday.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

The day that this comes out is on my birthday. And so you are listening to the birthday boy in your ears right now. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

I guess like a peek behind the curtain. Like we don't film these the same day that they release. Like you need a little time. And it this is what we in the podcast biz call, you know, editing, um, post-production. This is what we call in the podcast. Yeah. We call it editing. This is what we call editing. Um, so you need a little time for the post-production. That's where Straight Luke comes in. So we are filming this a few days early because our fearless leader, Prima, is going on a work trip and is missing your birthday.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

You're missing my birthday, which is really messed up. And I don't think you're my fearless leader. I think we're both. I'm the fearless leader. I think we're both. Oh, I'm a fearful leader. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Oh, okay. That makes sense for me. Yeah. No, I'm a fearless leader just of the world, of the earth. My name is Donald. Yeah. Um, so, anyways, so we're recording this to celebrate Michael's birthday. It is June 1st, honey. Happy Pride.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

Happy Pride. It's the start of Pride Month. It's the start of my birthday. Yes. And let's get into it.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Oh, well, no, actually, I needed to say because it's the start of Pride Month. Um, important to say, corporations, if you're listening, and I'm looking to each camera right now. Can we want camera do camera three? Again, we would love your money this Pride Month. We would love it. It could be any corporation, it could be any um any amount of money. Uh I would hope it's more than less. Um, and we'll have it this Pride Month.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

I hope it's more than less. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So happy Pride, happy corporate pride. I uh this is the first day of Pride, and I am really excited as a drag queen to be gung-ho doing a bunch of corporate gigs, corporate Zoom bingos, and the like, and and some other gigs as well. We'll get into that. I see. Because I have something coming up that I'm really excited. I have two shows coming up. Well, let's get into our first segment. We have we have three segments on this podcast. The first segment is called Eathing. And it is where we talk about what we are up to, baby. And then the second segment is called Grip Thing. And that's what we are talking about that the whole world is thinking about in pop culture. And our third segment is called What Do You Even Think? And we'll get into that one later. You'll have to stay tuned. Right. Let's let's get into our first segment, you think. You think. And we just recorded an episode a few days ago. And so you'd think, and also we spent the entire day together. And Donald's in the entire weekend. Um and Donald's husband, Peter, just said, What are you guys gonna talk about? You have we're together all day, and we're like, don't worry, we have so much to say. That's why we have a podcast. We can just talk, talk.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

We can think, think, think. Yeah. Well, first, before getting into what we just went through the past few days, because oh, there were highs, there were lows, or ups or downs. I would like to think about, you know, your birthdays in the past because it's your birthday today. Yeah. So I want to think about like some of your iconic birthdays. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

Okay. What do you think is like one of your favorite birthdays? My one of my favorite birthdays I've ever had was my 30th birthday. I did a funeral for my 20s and a twink death. It was at the basement of the Christities, it was an old comedy club. Now it's a bunch of apartment buildings or a parking lot or something. Iconic. And yeah, it used to be it used to be Chelsea, which we went to all the time in our 20s. And then that is where Titanic made its theatrical debut as well. Yeah, and now it's on Broadway. So anyway, I had a funeral and It was a roast, basically. It was a funeral roast. If anyone's familiar with Drag Grace, Lady Bunny did they had like a funeral for Lady Bunny roast. It was that exactly that. And I had how many drag queens? It was Plasma, Lady Celestina, and Hanukkah Lewinsky, and you were all doing eulogies and roasts. Exactly. And there were roasts.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

And it was just like the Kevin Hart roast. We all made um racially insensitive jokes. Yeah, it was really nice. Just kidding. We were more like the Chelsea Handler, Regina Hall, in that situation where we would be like, no MAGA people. This was even before this was before MAGA. Right? No, it was in between magas. Yeah, it was in Magazine.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

Between MAGAs. Um, which is a different time. Different time. And the 30 minutes, but while people were coming to like sit down and start the road, or like come to the show, I was in an open casket, and I had a huge foam casket that I sat in, and people had to come and pay their respects to me. Right. It was such a dream come true. That casket I borrowed from a drag queen named Worship Her. And I because she like used it for a show. I had to take it from I think the queue. Do you remember the queue? Oh, I forgot about the queue. This was a bar before that got quanceled. But we plasma and I went to the queue to pick it up from Worshiper. Right. We asked three Ubers to like we got like X extra extra extra large Ubers and three Uber.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

They don't do an Uber Hearst, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

They refused our to take the thing. And then we asked for an extra, extra large.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

Did they think there was a body in there or something?

SPEAKER_02 5:43

It was very clearly not that, but they just were like, no, like that's way too big. I'm not putting that in my hand.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

No, they're like, we don't want to be liable. Like, there's definitely not a body in there.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Well, it was like completely see-through.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

Like it was just the outline of a casket.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

Like one of those backpacks that are see-through, but it's a good thing. Exactly. But it's a hearse. It's a casket. Yeah, yeah. Uh and they yeah, one that was the smallest that came was like, I'll do it. We shoved this thing in there, and somehow it made it. And somehow there was room for us too. Yeah. And yeah, I had to like spray paint that thing on my rooftop because it wasn't completely painted. Anyway, it was really fun. And some people said I had like the best roast. You had a really good roast. I had an incredible roast. You had an incredible roast.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

And that was before Chat GBT, so I had to write it by minds. Yeah. I had to write it by minds. Yeah. That's crazy. My process for that, because a lot of people want to know my artistic process. For a roast, this is what I tend to do in the two to three times I've done it. I start writing out the categories of things I want to make fun of. So I'm like drag queen who wants to be famous, um, big slut, always late, uh, things like that. And then I so I write out the categories. What do I want to make fun of? And then I start thinking of jokes related to each category. Then I start thinking of, you know, what's the narrative story I'm telling here? How am I gonna make this a speech, a roast? Especially because it was a funeral. Right. So we had to reference that. And I think my process really paid off. I think it did. And it's available if anyone's uh follows me on Instagram, it's available on that platform.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

Yeah, you can go back to one of those reels, like real far back three, three, four years, four years ago specifically. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

I've never done a roast of myself, but I'm just like, how many hairline jokes can you make? Uh well, people did that on the night too. They did that on the night too, right, right. Yeah, yeah. Um, but I'm like, once I go to Turkey, get this hairline fixed, guess what? Maybe then I'll have a roast. I'm like, what are you gonna make fun of? How perfect I am? There's nothing to make fun of me about. How clips are you? I don't think you can find one thing to make fun of me of. I don't think there's one thing on this earth to make fun of me about.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

I think I would love uh to I hope that we clip that specifically and then we can ask in the comments of what might people. What would you make fun of me?

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Actually, yeah. If you're listening to our podcast or watching the clips on Reels or TikTok, please let me know what you would make fun of me about if you could roast me. Like, what are some of the things and the categories and the specific topics and the specific I've never gotten to roast you before? Yeah. That and for good reason.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

I thought I did a good job at Salmonella's roast. You don't think I did? Um, you didn't stand out.

unknown 8:25

Fuck.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Really? I don't think I did because people didn't like come to me in that way. Guess what? I still think I did a good job.

SPEAKER_01 8:33

You're my friend's a star. Like, what can I say? So that was a really fun birthday. Um, we you definitely like are someone who has like a birthday month, like in like eight to ten different celebrations. He's like, oh, today's my birthday picnic. Oh, today's my birthday lunch, oh, today's my birthday dinner, oh, today's my birthday going out, oh, today's my birthday before going out. Um and they're all so fun.

SPEAKER_02 8:53

Yeah, I I usually I do that. This year I'm not feeling that at all. Last year, my birthday, I went to London to celebrate with to celebrate. It was one of my dear friends from growing up's uh wedding was on my birthday. And it was actually so fun to completely celebrate someone else on my birthday. It was really great. You should try that today to celebrate me. I think that we've done enough for you. No, I think I need to be listening.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Um, I want to celebrate Peter. Peter deserves to be celebrated. You know why? Because he took a hot picture this weekend. And we can get into it. It was on on Friday night, and so many people would call it Friday night. Was it Saturday night? It was Saturday night. Yeah. So on Saturday night, we went to Mother Disco. Yes, and that's where this photo was taken by the one and only John Leguki, who I can only assume is listening to this pod right now. Um, and who you just did a birthday shoot with. Right, that probably came out today. Today. Yeah. Um, so definitely look at those photos. But um Saturday night, we were like, We need a classic crazy girls night. Well, I I mean, yes. But also that wasn't the intention. That wasn't actually the intention. We just got tickets to something.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

We just were like, we're going to I got tickets to Mother Disco like over a month ago because I love this party. You've never been to the one in New York before. No. We've gone to P Town one like a lot. Right. Um maybe fire.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

So many parties are the same to me. It's like shirtless guys, which is so fun.

SPEAKER_02 10:17

This party really feels different. Even though it's at the same venue that you could go to a different venue. Yeah, it really does. I'm not like kidding. It really does feel different. I didn't feel that different. Did you not? No, I was like, it's in the exact same place that we're. I also think that so it was raining. Normally it's in the yard at $3 bill, and so you get like one DJ for everyone the whole time. And that feels like a more it felt like a better podcast. It's unifying. Um, but it was really fun. I feel like normally it's only disco music, and this time it wasn't only disco music. Right. But anyway, we saw the best time, and I just feel like people are nicer there besides people that aren't nice, but people that are generally nicer.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Yeah, well, I will say the night started, so I said, everyone come over at like the party is from 3 to 10 p.m., which is a dream for people in their 30s. 4 p.m. 4 to 10 30. 4 to 10 30, which is the same thing. And so I was like, okay, great. Like we'll be in bed at a normal hour, which is so fun. So I said, everyone come over at 4 o'clock, we'll have margaritas. Um, and then we'll go. So everyone's like, great, we're gonna come over at 4, we'll have margaritas. Um, I'd say you came an hour and six minutes late.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

Um, I would say that I was not an hour, whatever, late. I would say I was 35 minutes late specifically because you had texted everyone to come at four. I didn't see it yet. I said I'll be there at 4:30, and then I said, actually, I'm gonna be later than that because I'm on the phone with my dad.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

And I said, Okay, that's hurtful. You wish that I could be on the phone with my dad. I do wish you could be on the phone with me. Yeah. Um, and Stu loved nothing more than pride. He loved pride. Um the biggest parties. I think um he wouldn't care as much about the tardiness, but I care. You said you didn't care about that one. I actually didn't care that one. There are two times in my life where I actually didn't care about you being late. Let's not get into my birthday. Something that I didn't care. I know, but it's my birthday. One was that, the second was my wedding day, in which I begged you, please, right. My only request is don't be late. You ended up being late, but a switch in my brain just turned. I said, You cannot be upset about this today because it's your wedding day. Um, and I'm grateful that I was able to do that because I I do find it so annoying.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

Yeah, I know, and I'm and I am working on it, I really am. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

I mean, but 35 minutes, how how did that happen?

SPEAKER_02 12:41

I was on the phone with my dad, so I texted, actually, I'm gonna be later than that. So you but you still couldn't you couldn't get it. I'm confused. I left when I hung up with my dad. Wow. Wow. So I'm confused.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Um, but anyways, um, so we had a pregame and it was so fun, and um, you know, we have to be careful with our volume because the the the person might hear.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

Right. But we We were just having like a pregame and just you know, having a good little time, and then we I feel like we have to start with there's a wire that just comes down outside the window to their kitchen and bangs on the window a bunch of times, and we're like, what is going on? Like, oh, someone's maybe like they're installing their AC or something.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

So like as we're pregaming, this is happening, like a wire keeps like hitting our window. Um and we're like, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

And then there's a knock at the door.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

A knock at the door, and who is it but a random Kazakhstani man? Yes, yes, you heard me correctly. Yeah. If this is your first time listening to the podcast, you might be like, is this the topics that they cover? Listen, we talk we cover anything. We cover anything. This was so random.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

So this man, he said, I well, you were like talk to him, so I feel like yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

I said so. I opened the door. I would say he's a buff looking, um, probably gay guy.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

And he says He specifically said he's straight-ish.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

Yeah, and he's kind of swaying a little bit, so you know, okay. And he said, Hey, I hear you guys like playing some music. Like, can I come hang out?

SPEAKER_02 14:13

He's like, I it sounded like you were having the best time. I've been in my I've been upstairs, I'm like doing laundry right now, and I just am so jealous because it seems like you're having the best time. And then Donald's like, Do you want to come in? And he's like, Yes. And then can we start? No, he's I said, Do you want to?

SPEAKER_01 14:28

I was like, Do you are you like, do you want to come party? Um, and he was like, Oh, I said, or do you want to like hang out another day? Like I was trying to understand what he's saying. He's like, Yeah, I want to hang out another day. No, I want to come in right now. He said, Okay, great, come right in. Step on in. Come right in. Within two minutes, yeah. Can we say this? Uh no. Okay. Well, he said, within two minutes, he found himself being very comfortable. Very comfortable. Very comfortable. And um, I did ask him face to face. I said, Are you going to murder us or steal everything? Yeah. Because if you're gonna steal something, totally fine. I was looking around at the men there, and I was like, Okay, like, can we take him if we need to? I don't I think all of us together could have. Together, but he's very comfortable. Certainly, no one could have. No, no, no. And he just got so comfortable in this apartment, made himself at home. We got him a drink. But then, but then he was like, I was like, Wait, do you want vodka? No, he refused the drink.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

He was like, Well, I don't know if you're gonna like do something to the drink. I'm gonna go upstairs and make my own. We're like, so he went upstairs, brought our very comfortable for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

So then he's from Kazakhstan, which again he might hear us. He lives literally right upstairs. Yeah. Um He does follow us on Instagram now. I don't Oh, he does. So he's probably gonna listen to this. I haven't followed him. Hey, he does have two children.

SPEAKER_02 15:45

He has two kids in Kazakhstan.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

He is uh sexuality-wise, um fluid, fluid for sure. Yeah, because he has two children, and but he's with men. Anyways, he was here hanging out, hanging out, hanging out. We asked him about being from Kazakhstan. I was like, I have a good friend from there. My wife, Borat. Uh he didn't love the Borat children. Um, but I was like, I'm sorry. This is my frame of reference for Kazakhstan. Uh sorry, baby. Uh, and he said, Well, I he's like, Yeah, well, well, um, Borat, you know, he he really put like Jews on the maps, and I was like, I don't know if you're saying this in an anti-Jew way or an anti-how either Jew way. Oh, I think he was Jewish. I think ultimately, yeah. But I was like, Oh, you are you are in a in a home of a Jew. Yeah. Uh and then Peter gave him a tour of the apartment. So he was kind of scoping out what he was gonna say.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Uh, but yeah, he seemed to be a nice guy. I don't know. It was he, I mean, he seemed like to be a nice guy. We had a great time, yeah. It was crazy. It's Donald's dream is always to have one random person at a pregame. A wild card, if you a wild card is what he likes to say. Yeah. And someone literally knocked on the door. It was a dream come true. Is that a wild card?

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Yeah, it felt like a play. Yeah. And then we had to get up and go to the party. And if you thought the Kazakhstani stranger was the craziest thing a honey, you have no idea. Um, I mean, we're gonna go into detail, not every detail, but we um so then we take the train. We took the subway weather disco USA. We get off.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

It is raining catalogs. Oh, it is pouring, and I say, okay, guys, we must put posters up on the way to my show. So I'm doing a show called Full Sum. It is next week, June 11th, 8 p.m. at Come On Everybody. It is a kink-themed drag show, and there is a prettiest penis competition. This is a real thing. You can win $100 if you think you have the prettiest penis. You think if you think you have the prettiest penis, you can come to my show and maybe win a hundred bucks. What what are you gonna do if no one volunteers to be a part of that? I already have a lot of people that are like, I'm coming and I'm gonna win. Wow, okay, great. So hopefully pull up. And who's the judging committee? Um, so the way that the show is going to work is every single person at the show that goes to the bar and gets a drink ticket is gonna get one vote and they'll be able to put the tickets into the I love it. Interaction because it's yeah, it's gonna be a Polaroid of everyone taken by rude Polaroids. Oh love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there Oh, so they're not like on stage showing it. They're not on stage showing it. Oh, yeah. That makes it easy. So no one will know what face goes through, except for maybe the winner. I like that better. Which I think the winner would love to be like, I had the prettiest penis. Yeah, yeah. Um, and then there's gonna, of course, that's part of the vote, and then the Electoral College comes in where the drag queens will also take a peek, and like I think they'll have a vote that counts for like 10 points. Right, right, right, right. And then then they'll have a winner.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

And that's always how it's been since the beginning of American history. I mean, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. About the drag queen, penis, pretty pennies, but yeah, that's how they figure out what is right and what is wrong. Yeah. Um, okay, fine. So, anyways, so um, so you're putting up these posters everywhere. It is boring, right now. It's raining. I was like, can we just get inside? We're maybe five steps from the bar. Um, then Peter, my husband, goes, Um, I have to go pee. I'm gonna pee outside. And I was like, you know, we are gonna be inside within one step. And he's he took uh fate into his own destiny, as they say, yeah, and destiny into his own hands, and his penis into his hands, and started peeing on the street. And is it the prettiest? Find out on day 11th. And then so we go into the bar. Uh, I mean, it's a club bar. What would you call a three-dollar bill? A club bar.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

Not yet a woman. Yeah. Um, it's kind of non-binary and it's like I think it's actually a club.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

I think it's considered a club. Yeah. Well, anyways, people are dancing, dancing, dancing. It's sweaty, it's shirtless. I bumped into some um kind of co-workers, a friend in the podcast space, um, Kyle, who works at Watch Admins Live, love him, and he uh just started a podcast as well. I've sent you his good clips, he has great clips. Yeah, um, and I was like, Kyle, I need to tell you something. Like, I'm debuting Baggy Shorts this weekend, so we're chatting all about that. Wow. Yeah, um, it's really a thing that I can't stop talking about. I know. Uh, but we were chat, chat, chatting, and then all of a sudden I lose every single person I know. Where'd you go?

SPEAKER_02 20:21

I kept losing everyone, which is fun, but I was really excited to dance with my friends. Right. I did feel like I spent most of the event looking for everyone, but I still had the best time. It was so fun seeing all these different people. Yeah. I tasted a lot of uh Brooklyn, um, and I really had a good time. It was like Schmorgisborg. Yeah, it kind of is like a kind of gay guy schmorgisborg. If you don't, schmorgasboard is a uh food festival in in Williamsburg, and it's really good, and so is this party that we went to.

SPEAKER_01 20:54

Yeah, so Michael made so many friends. I so many good friends. And then so yeah, Peter and I were hanging out, and then we got this gorgeous picture. This this is how it all comes back. It's gorgeous picture picture that John Leguki took of us. Shirtless, gorgeous, hot, stunning. Then we danced for a little bit, and then um at the the night is winding down, and these guys we're talking to were like, oh, we're going to an after party. You guys um should come to the after party. I thought I forgot about those zombies somehow. And we're like, oh, we'd love to come to an after party. Like, we the night is so young, it was only like 10 or something. So we're like, we have to go to an after party. I texted all of our friends, I was like, I got us invited to a fun after party. Um We arrived at the after party. So so we Uber there. So I said, I will call the Uber because I'm kind of the one who's telling us to go to this party. Meanwhile, everyone's like, Do you know what it is? And I was like, I have no clue what this is, but I have an address and I have a dream.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

So we roll up, we get there, we open the door, and everyone's shoes are out there. And I'm thinking, like, I don't want to take off my Manolo Blanics because what if someone accidentally takes them and then I'm out of $400? So I kept my shoes on.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Right. Yeah. And we all did. Yeah. And we walked in, and I would just describe it as a straight up sex party. There's nothing else to call it. That's what it was. Yeah. And I would say that is not the vibe that we were uh giving off. We were like We were giving off clowns. We know we were just like having fun, like ready to keep going. Um, it just was very surprising. And we walked in and we're like, uh-oh, it's not the kind of party we were imagining. And then the host immediately clocked us, walked right up, and said, Hi, um, who invited you here? And I said, uh, we got a text, and he said, Yeah, this is kind of a closed party. Which is a very important thing.

SPEAKER_02 22:41

No one said that to me. Oh. Okay. I was on the other side of the room and no one said that to me. Someone said that to me.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

Um, but I guess what? I was I think you're awesome. I was receptive to that feedback because I left. And also we weren't. That wasn't what we wanted to do.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

So so we So then we decided to leave. Leave. Um, and get our first dinner. We decided to do. We decided it was and get our first dinner of the night because as you can recall, 4 p.m. is when I was supposed to arrive for the pregame, and 10 30 is when the party ended. So we had not had dinner yet. Right. So we went to a bodega and I got some of the yummiest sandwich for my life.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

I got an incredible sandwich, and I got a really incredible sandwich. Sometimes um, Peter and I were talking about this recently. We're like, what's your favorite restaurant in New York City? And we landed on bodega. Whoa. Bodega parentheses all. Yeah. Just the bodega. Like such a good restaurant. Some of the best wraps you'll ever have.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

I feel like it has to be a very specific. Depends on the bodega. There's one in our neighborhood that we well, not even. Like it's just when you've been partying all night, and then you get a beautiful chicken salad uh wrap on a whole wheat wrap with avocado specifically, and it really hits well, and that's what I got this time. You got chicken salad or chicken Caesar? Sorry, it's chicken Caesar salad.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

I know my bestie, like, I'm sorry, Caesar salad. I'm sorry. When he says I got a chicken salad, I said, You did not get a bodega chicken salad, but you did get a bodega chicken salad. Chicken Caesar salad. Is that what you got? That's normally what you get too. I love that item. I love that product, but I think I kind of wanted to experience their culture, so I got like one of their special reps.

SPEAKER_02 24:14

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

That's right. It was like it had like a little name that was like so quirky.

SPEAKER_02 24:19

There are like a million heavenly markets that have opened up near me, and they they're not heavenly at all. And they're barely a market. They're a bodega. Yeah. And I though one, there's like a really cute bodega that opened up my basically on my block, and then a heavenly market opened up even closer to me. And I went to it and just like it was the service was really slow.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

Speaking of heavenly, I have not thought of what my person at the end is gonna be for our what do you even think segment. But now I have one. Um, and the word heavenly is gonna be involved, but we will get to that after.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

That's very awesome. Um, which we will have if we get a sponsor, and yeah, so can someone let me know what the deal is with Heavenly Market and why it's like a huge conglomerate all of a sudden in the bodega culture of New York City? Well, I'm sorry, if Sheen buys Everlane, then maybe that's something we brought, we bring to groupthink.

SPEAKER_01 25:11

We're gonna bring that to groupthink. Um, but okay, let's continue with you think. So then we go to Metropolitan because our friends are dancing.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

Peter Williams is go-go boying, and he is such a good go-go. He's so good at what he does. Yeah. And we have the best on there.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

What do you think makes him so good at what he does?

SPEAKER_02 25:28

I think it's um his big smile.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

Or big juicy tissy. Yeah. Um, and we'd love to support our friend. He also choreographed Peter and I's wedding dance, which we love him.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

He's also been in at least two of my like competitions as backup dancers.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

That was unpaid, though. We paid him.

SPEAKER_02 25:48

It was unpaid, but it very well might lead to something, which was your wedding. Oh, yeah, right, right. Like, girl. Yeah, he ultimately did get a paid gig, finally. He also was in my Pankaki dating game, I think the first ever one that happened like maybe last year or two. Is he paid for that? No. Oh, okay. He would have been he was paid when he he won. He found true love. Like he's a servant for you, basically.

SPEAKER_01 26:09

He is an unpaid friend. I just feel like unpaid internships are kind of out these days. Like, even the the most unpaid thing, it's like you get like $12 an hour or something. Right. I'd follow suit.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

Well, I feel like whenever he's a go-go, I'd tip him so much money. Right. So it's like ones and so yeah, so much money in ones. That's how I make my money. Like, it's all good. It's all good.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

No, but so we were there, and then it was like, you know what, we need more cowbell. Just kidding. We do need a bagel. Wait, we didn't even we went to Animal first. Oh my god, there was more to this and a dramatic part of the night.

SPEAKER_02 26:45

Yeah, we went to Animal, and it was my first time going to Animal. Same. I uh And to our audience who hasn't been to Animal, I'm gonna say it is. Oh, Animal, I honestly don't know. Um, it's like a gay bar. Oh, yeah, it's a gay bar. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:00

That's what it is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:01

I was um it's like more, it's like a Brooklyn gay bar that's like vibey and cool and fun and chill but dancy sometimes. And there's this really fierce trans bouncer at the front of the line. And I the line was really fucking long, and I'm like, Plasma, you don't have to wait in this line. Like, you can skip the line, you're famous. And she's like, no, I think we should just like wait. I was like, no, girl. So I went up to the front and I was like, hi, my friend is famous, so I think we can like skip the line. And they were like, no, like go to the fucking back. And I was like, darn it. And then we got, and then we the bouncer saw Plasma and was like, girl, why are you waiting in line? You're famous, you can skip the line. I said, That's what I said. But then they saw me as part of the group, right? And they were like, uh-oh, not you. And I was like, I'm sorry, I but I was like, right, right. And she's like, you're gonna have to apologize to the like person at the door.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

They didn't like your approach and trying to get in with the famous person.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

No, they didn't like it. And I appreciated that. Yeah, because that works at almost every other venue in the city. Um, but not that one. It was my first time.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

I think just like maybe not saying like I'm the famous person.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

I don't think I said it like that. That's how you speak. Drunk or not? Um, I was really uh lit with what we can say. So I don't know how I did or didn't say it. My friends did not have to pay. I did pay $10 cover. I'm really so happy that I got for an entertainment for my crimes. And then we left, went to Metro. Nope, we're not done with that story.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

In Animal, we're dancing, dancing, dancing. It gets hot. I have a nice leather jacket that um is my stepdad's that he gave me after my engagement. I liked the jacket he was wearing. In it, I had a pair of sunglasses and the belt that I was wearing that night, but I didn't need it anymore. Um so Peter's like, let's just throw our stuff in a corner. I said, Hell yeah, Peter. I have to do that. You threw your belt off too. My belt was in there as well. Um, guess what? It was all stolen. Every single last one of it. Now I don't know just your coat. Peter's stuff was fine. Yeah, which makes me think like I don't know what's happening, but I think so. I've been in touch with Animal The Venue to see if, like, do you have this? But they have a policy where they won't tell me if they do or do not have it. They just say, come check. And I say, um, can you just let me know if it's not there? Because if it's not there, I won't travel an hour both ways. And they said, come check. And I was like, okay, well, so if you are so if the by the time this podcast episode comes out, I still have one week in which to claim my jacket. So if you're going to Animal, please let me know.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

I would try to do it as soon as possible because they say like two weeks we like give everything away. But it's two weeks according to them.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

I don't have two hours to go to Brooklyn ever.

SPEAKER_02 29:47

I would try to do it before June. Um well, some I'm gonna have to hire a tax rabbit or something. Yeah, you should. Yeah. Yeah. Um that is sad. And and I want to say that I brought like tape to put up the posters for my show at Folsom come on June 11th, Thursday, next week. And I brought the tape, and at every single venue we went to, I put this tape in a random part of the bar. And every time I got it back, and I brought that tape home. That is insane.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

That is insane.

SPEAKER_02 30:20

I was like, I know this tape is not gonna make it with me again of the night, but it actually did. Donald's gonna be a little bit more.

SPEAKER_01 30:25

It's like a fun little game. Yeah. Um, so then we went to Metropolitan to see our friend dance, dance, dance. And boy, did he dance, and we had a fabulous time. Um, and also just a reminder like some places in Brooklyn, you're like, wow, drinks are cheap. This could be life. Then we're like, I know we had a rap, and I know this about us. But we did have to go get bagels as well. If you're next to a bagel smith. You went solo, yeah, yeah. Peter and I went in another time. I was just like, we're next to a bagel smith. There's nothing better than a late night bagel. Ugh. So after the rap that we had, we also had a bagel. And guess what? Mine was fire, honey. Fire.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

Yeah, it was delicious, it was absolutely delicious. We had the best night ever. Um, I Plaza and I danced with Adam Scott, which was really fun. I met Metropolitan Adam Mother Disco. And I pointed to him out, which is shocking because I famously have facial blindness. Yeah, and and who is someone that you didn't recognize this week?

SPEAKER_01 31:16

Right. So, Peter and I, my husband, we went to the gym this past weekend and we were working out. He was, you know, we went to shower, come back. Anyways, I see him in the locker room. I don't recognize this man from anywhere. And he like kind of like waves at me like, hello, and I'm like, uh, like who is waving at me? And I turn and it's my husband. And so I don't recognize people. And again, if you're listening to this podcast.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

When you see a face, what does it look like? I know it's a weird thing to say.

SPEAKER_01 31:45

It's just like all jumbled up, and I'm like, this could be anyone in anything.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

I think you literally have facial blindness. No, I literally do. Because I've heard, because I've Googled, um, I've TikToked facial blindness, and people with facial blindness describe what it looks like, and it's like jumbled up. It's like jumbled up.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

I also am just petrified of like waving back to someone who's not waving at me, and that's a huge fear of mine because I did that all the time.

SPEAKER_02 32:07

I think you do have facial blindness.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

Yeah, so I didn't recognize my husband, which is all chill. Um, but I did recognize Adam Scott. And is Adam Scott the name? Isn't that the person from Parson Rec? We mean someone else. Yeah. Um We mean someone else. We mean someone else. And and and gay.

SPEAKER_02 32:21

We mean the hot priest from Fleabag.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Yeah, we mean the hot priest.

unknown 32:26

Andrew Scott.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

Andrew Scott. Andrew. Andrew Scott. Sorry, other Scott. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I saw him and I was like, no, Andrew Scott's definitely here.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

You have fish blindness except for celebrity.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Yeah. Which um Which is disgusting. Yeah. Listen, I'm a cloud chaser, like some other people that we know. Yeah. Um, but anyways, so we just had the night of our lives and woke up the next morning and said, good morning, Baltimore. Actually, we woke up and Peter and I went to a spin class.

SPEAKER_02 32:57

And I woke up and I said, Oh no. I was really um hungover, as one might say. And then Peter and I rhinestoned for Black Cherry, who tomorrow is competing in Are You the Ultimate Diva? Also at $3 bill, actually at nine bub note.

SPEAKER_01 33:14

So we we're you we're saying tomorrow, but like, let's be very real with the audience. Like, this is in the past. No, it's not. Is it isn't it? Oh, wait, literally tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. Oh, right. You mean literally tomorrow? I mean literally tomorrow. But by the time this podcast comes out, we will know if she's the winner. Do you think that she's gonna win?

SPEAKER_02 33:31

Do you think? Do you think? I think she's gonna win, honey. I think she's so talented. I think that she is so funny. I think her talent's gonna be awesome. And we spent five and a half hours rhinestoning.

SPEAKER_01 33:42

I really hope by the time we listen to this podcast, the next time we are like celebrating her win.

SPEAKER_02 33:47

And even if she doesn't win, I am very proud of her. And it's not whether you win or lose, but whether you win or if you lose. Never forget that. Never forget that. And I've done a lot of these competitions and I've never won any of them. So I've won the like smaller ones, the like weekly, but not never a big one. Of course. Um, and I've never even made a top, well, sometimes I have, but not for Are You the Ultimate Diva, like a top five.

SPEAKER_01 34:11

Right. But one day you'll be the ultimate diva. But today you're the birthday diva. Right. Um, so Peter, bring out the cake. Happy. Just kidding. We can't, we don't, we can we we can't afford that. We can't afford that song. We can't afford that song. I think you can sing any song, but see that Colbert did that at um for his final show. He was like, Um, anyone like using this song is getting sued right now by like Sesame Street or something, and then they played it to get them sued. So fun. Um, but yeah, so today, since I can't attend your actual day of birth, we had our special day where we met at the gym. We worked out We went shopping, Tilly droppings. But I had some gym drama. Yes, you did. I had some gym drama.

SPEAKER_02 34:52

Yes, you did.

SPEAKER_01 34:53

Okay, so you know, I used to you learned a new thing. Yeah, I mean, I used to do orange theory as my form of working out for like four years. Now, recently I work with a virtual trainer, a beautiful British man named Chris Evans, no, not the actor Chris Evans. I know what I didn't know he's saying it was Chris Evans. Yeah, it's Chris Evans, but he's British and straight, um, and so ripped as well as the other Chris Evans. Um, and he just tells me what to do. So it's a lot of weight stuff that I've never done in the gym. So I guess I'm still learning the etiquette, like um, you know, this word that I learned today, which was called not re-racking. What's the word? Stripping. Stripping. Stripping the machine. Stripping the machine. So I did this like pressy thing. I did a chest press and I had really heavy weights on because how do you think I get these titties, honey? And um, yeah, I said titties, honey, on the podcast. And so I did the thing and then I started walking away, but I was I was actually walking to get a little wipe. Um, and so the guy, I thought that's what he was coming at me for. So he said, Are you? And I said, Oh, I'm grabbing a wipe, but I'll be right back. And so I grabbed the wipe and I like really wiped it down really nicely, and I was like, phew, like he thought I was someone who was gonna walk away and not wipe this down, but like that's not me. No, I know that etiquette, and then I said, Okay, here you go. And he goes, Are you not gonna strip the machine? This is an older gentleman, I would say. Um, and I would also refer to him as a little bitch, and I was like, uh, and then in my mind, I was like, okay, what is strip the machine? And I was like, okay, it probably just means remove the weights. I put that together really fast because I am what sickening, and I do not have a sugar daddy, and I've never had a sugar daddy. So she got canceled. Oh, darn it. Um, just like the cue. So she got canceled. So then I was like, oh, would love to strip the machine. But the intensity, the verocity in which this man said that, I was like, I obviously am not an evil queen.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

And Donald texted Peter and I and said what happened, and I was like, so he is in the wrong, but he doesn't know the gym etiquette because he's newer to the They don't teach this in schools, they don't teach it in schools, and education is under fire in America right now, and this is proof of that.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

There's no sex ed for gyms, yeah. And um and there's no sex ed in this Jewish school that I went to growing up, where they just said, cut a hole in a blanket and throw it in there. Is that what they taught you? Literally, that's crazy. And I I remember a friend raised his hand, I won't name his name. We were in sixth grade, and he said, So this sex thing, do you go to the hospital for it? I'll be like, loser.

SPEAKER_02 37:33

That's so sad. Uh, but also like that's why you're in school, and they probably they're like, no, as long as you have a sheet with a hole in it, you'll be fine. Yeah, that's obviously you're married. Yeah. They didn't get into anal. I remember at I remember at well, first of all, in my um high school sex ed, the gay we had a gay section, which is much more than you've ever had, but oh my god, I can't believe you had a gay section.

SPEAKER_01 37:58

We had a gay section, but you like gay as the same. No, that's what the gay section was.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

It was it was basically that. Yeah, she was like, Okay, this is the gay section. She put on the movie The Philadelphia, and that was it. Oh my god. So and she's like, Yeah, if you're gay, like you get AIDS and you die. But you get an Oscar.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

Yeah, that's really rough. Um, but yeah, we didn't have any form of.

SPEAKER_02 38:23

And then also at overnight at Jewish overnight camp, uh, I think I was 10 or 11, my first summer there. Uh, we were talking about what sex was, and one of the boys said it's when you put a penis in a vagina, which is very exclusionary, let me tell you. And we all were like, that's crazy. No, it's not. We all, everyone else in my cabin said that sex is when you make out naked, like really aggressively. Oh, it's like rub your bodies against each other.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

Maybe that's what you saw in cinema and film. Yeah, I think so. On television. Right. On HBO. Um, speaking of HBO and all this conversation, I have been listening to Lena Dunham's book, which we briefly touched on last episode. Um, and she speaks about how when she was on the view promoting season one, Barbara Walters was like, This is a wild show. You know, you show anal sex, you show and she was like, anal, anal sex. Um sex from behind, yeah. But she was like, Oh my god, like does Barbara Walters not know that's an option? She must have been too busy, you know, forging ground for other female journalists.

SPEAKER_02 39:22

And so I will also say that she in it for a second, Hannah says, wrong door. Or like wrong hole. So maybe that's what she was referring to.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

Well, Michael, you know more than Lena Denham does about her own career. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:37

Sammy.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not surprised.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

Um, what were we talking about before the sex editable? Oh, just the gym etiquette. The gym etiquette. Yes. Donald doesn't know the gym etiquette because he's super, super. Sorry, but I'm learning and like. But he's learning and so tone.

SPEAKER_01 39:53

What I don't like though is when people People just want me for my body now. It's like, oh my god, I lift a couple weights, and now all I am is objectified in the media at gay parties. It's like And once you have that new hairline, how honey it's over for these H-O-E-S. And yes, I'm spelling it out because what we have Sesame Street sponsoring today.

SPEAKER_02 40:14

H-O-E-S host. Oh, okay. I would have said whores.

SPEAKER_01 40:18

I know that you like lost your spelling bee like a long time ago.

SPEAKER_02 40:21

Yeah, fourth grade. Uh, but I didn't like that this man came at Donald with uh viciousness and saying, like, are you not gonna do this? Donald thought he was doing gym etiquette and thought he was being a good person. Literally, and he learned, and I think that and also it's like he went and wiped the machine, so clearly he like thought he was doing something well. Right. I just think I think you could just say, like, oh, would you mind could you do that? Yeah, could you also strip the machine?

SPEAKER_01 40:50

Yeah. Um, but it was so aggressive, and I almost I was like, okay, I could be like real housewise about this. I almost just started adding weights to the machine to piss this man off. But then I I held back. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:03

Uh I uh also I just I want to talk about at my office. I we had a work gala and it was running late, and we were I had there was like a bunch of boxes that needed to be put somewhere, right? Empty boxes. So I just I was like, where do these go? Someone said the corner over there. So I put them in the corner, and then this man is like, you just expect me to break down all these boxes? I'm like, I'm sorry, what like you're just expecting me to do all this work? And I'm like, Well, what what's your job? Right. And he's like, That's not my job. I'm like, okay, well, whose job is it? He's like, it's your job. I'm like, it's my job. News to me, honey. And I was like, okay. Um, so then I I just was like, it's much easier if if I just break down these boxes. Right. And I was like, here you go. Um, are you okay? Like, do you need anything? Do you need help? And he just like, I'm sorry, people just like always take advantage of me and and these like work situations, and uh I'm just like not, I wasn't hired to break down boxes or just hired to put them in the trash. And I was like, Okay, well, I didn't know that. And maybe in the future, if instead of coming with aggression, you can say, Hi, do you know who's in charge of breaking down those boxes? And I he like really and was like, I felt like I learned an important lesson today, and I feel like that that man at the gym could have done something like that too.

SPEAKER_01 42:22

I have had to teach straight men how to um communicate in uh various settings and it uh in personal and professional, and sometimes they just don't know, like literally, and and they are grateful. I just had a professional experience like this where I had to teach a man how to communicate, and he was like, Oh wow, thank thank you so much. So um we're so lucky to be gay, but okay, so then so then today after that, we were like, we're having like a birthday celebration. We did a little shopping, um, and then we came home and I was like, I'm gonna get a haircut, and like you're like, I'm gonna get a massage. We both come our separate ways, we come back. Now you got home before me, so I walk in, I get a haircut, I get a beard trim, I walk into the apartment, and one of the most shocking things happened to me today. What? Both you and Peter didn't say, like, oh, nice haircut. Like, just like the classic thing that you say when someone walks in after. Can I say something?

SPEAKER_02 43:17

Say something. So when you walked in, your hair looked absolutely psychotic. It was like it could be. It was like all messy all over the place. It was messy. It looked like you were in the lollipop guild in The Wizard of Oz.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

I don't know that reference famously.

SPEAKER_02 43:32

Well, you'll have to Google that. I only know um wicked. Right. Um right now you look amazing. And I was actually sitting next to you and I was looking at your beard. I'm like, oh wow, you look very handsome. I wonder if he went to one barber shop or if he went to a different place to get his beard trim because he often does that. Yeah. Um, but I was actually thinking he looks great. Uh, but then I thought, I feel like it's I've lost my window of compliment. Right. But I should know better than to think that the Compliment window has passed for someone who is an Adler in the Adler family. Need compliments at every moment. I just I think it's like etiquette.

SPEAKER_01 44:07

Like if you notice that someone gets a haircut, you just say needs haircut.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

Didn't I feel like um we also I was setting up your hair? Shut the fuck up. Read an article, bitch. You know what? Actually, actually, what Lena Light on their disco a bunch of people came up to me and said that they liked the podcast. And then also people have been coming up to me and saying they like my sub stack. And it's very interesting to have no idea who is like listening or reading these things. If you're listening to this and we don't know who you are, raise your hand. Yeah. Oh my god, that's more people than I thought. That's and a bunch of support. And also, nice haircut for whenever you got it last. Whenever you got it last, nice haircut. I just, I'm not a liar, and you looked crazy when you walked in. If you looked at yourself in the mirror, you would know that you didn't deserve a compliment.

SPEAKER_01 44:57

So I always look at myself in the mirror. And you knew you didn't deserve a compliment. I knew that my body was tea for sure. Yeah, because you worked out earlier. Because I worked out earlier, and I knew like my face card was giving uh like zero declines left and right. Um, I knew like my hair just needed like a little product in it. It did. And I think it would have now it looks good.

SPEAKER_02 45:17

Oh, yeah. You're not great. You look good. Good.

SPEAKER_01 45:20

You look good. In one year, I'm gonna like fabulous. Um, okay, good. Um, yeah. I don't know. I just feel like everyone at home can think about this because this is a really apocalypse.

SPEAKER_02 45:31

I do think when someone You think? Well, corporate settings are different because you're not allowed to give compliments like that. Right. Um, even though sometimes people do. They still do. I think you're allowed to, it just depends on what you're doing. You need to be careful about like the dynamics. Yeah. Yeah. Uh but I think when friendships, if you notice someone has a haircut and their hair is done, I just I don't give false compliments out. I don't say things I don't mean besides that one time. No, um, I don't say things I don't mean. And so I do like I was literally sitting here thinking, oh, your haircut looks good. Yeah. But it didn't when you walked in.

SPEAKER_01 46:05

Well, I'm glad I brought it up.

SPEAKER_02 46:06

I'm glad I'm glad I brought it up. I do you feel like a weight lifted off your chest?

SPEAKER_01 46:10

Because I like see how honest I'm being and like my really pumped chest, I would say. A weight is lifted off my really plump chest. Um, we've we've thought a lot, but let's I feel like we need to the group needs to think. The group needs to think. It's time for group think. Everyone's thinking about in the meeting. We promised that we would circle back on one thing, so let's talk about the Everlane.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

Everlane. So Everlane is a store that was really dedicated to like sustainability and ups uh using like recycled materials to make clothing and making like really nice basics. Um, and it's it was one of those startups that came around at the time of like Warby Parker becoming a thing. Right. And it was very much like the cutting out the middleman kind of vibes of the early 2010s. And I really like that store. I often I think that every single um person who identifies as a man or male presenting kind of situation, mask forward or femme, but man, they need a crisp white shirt.

SPEAKER_00 47:13

Right.

SPEAKER_02 47:14

Need a crisp white shirt. And so I often every summer will buy a crisp white shirt from Everlane. And this time around, things have changed because they were just sold to Shein. So if you don't know it's Sheehan, people say like the biggest fast fashion industry in America. Oh, our audience shops in Shein, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 47:34

Now you say Shein, some people say Sheen, and some people say shine. What do you say? You see that sheen. You see that shine. We were we're just thinking Demi Lovato did a commercial last summer for OGX hair product, and she made a whole shampoo and conditioner.

SPEAKER_02 47:52

It's one of the it was the Ubob of the summer. It was incredible. Last summer was brought summer? Well, no, we had no summers around the bottom. Oh, it was OGX. Yeah, it was OGX summer. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah. Uh what were we talking about? So basically, Everlane has been purchased by the side. Everlane has been purchased by Sheehan. Oh, we were saying, do you say Sheen, Shine, Sheen? I say Sheehan. Do you remember? Shein. Bing, bang, bang. UK Han. UK Sheen. Uh, I can't. That's like a drag race song. Yeah, babe.

SPEAKER_01 48:22

I know every reference ever known to that.

SPEAKER_02 48:24

Uh, so uh yeah, it just it seems like it's it goes against everything that they were founded on, but work. Anyone would do anything for a dollar.

SPEAKER_01 48:34

Literally, Billy Eichner knew it. Yeah, it's true. For a dollar. For a dollar. Which our dear friend Billy Eichner has a book out now, and I know our audience is wondering what's a new audiobook that we could listen to. Something interesting is that he said he I listened to him, guess what? On The View. Wow, the view's really coming up a lot on this podcast.

SPEAKER_02 48:51

Donald actually wrote his college thesis thesis about the view.

SPEAKER_01 48:56

That is correct. I love the view. And so um, Billy, and I listened to it non-stop uh as a podcast. So, anyways, well, we're in the same podcast space as Joey Behar. Anyways, she um he was on the show and he was saying his book is only out as an audiobook. And they were like, Why is that the case? Oh, it's like literally nothing but an audiobook. It's only an audiobook. Wow. And he said, basically, people know me so much for my Billy on the street character and me screaming that oh, he wants Yeah, he's like, I want you to hear what my actual voice is like and not like getting confused. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:28

Do you know what would be smart? What if he first releases it as an audiobook and then he releases it as like a hardcover and then a paper?

SPEAKER_01 49:36

Maybe, maybe he will. We'll have to ask him.

SPEAKER_02 49:39

Billy Eigner is. And if you're hearing some like beautiful music right now, Donald's neighbors are pianists that I think teach piano lessons. Yeah. So we have like an amazing kind of undertone. If you're hearing that, if not, yeah, ignore it.

SPEAKER_01 49:52

Don't worry about it. And we're actually um later this month gonna have the prettiest pianist contest.

SPEAKER_02 49:59

And whoever is the hottest pianist is gonna win a hundred valve. Uh, but something else, so this audiobook situation is coming up a lot. Uh, and I think there are times where audiobooks really shine. Because I like to read a physical book and you like to listen to it.

SPEAKER_01 50:18

And I couldn't read a book.

SPEAKER_02 50:19

And you're I'm reading Lena Donald's book, you're listening to it. I think when it comes to memoir, listening to the book is actually like a beautiful medium because it's kind of that it's like oral storytelling.

SPEAKER_01 50:30

Yeah, it's like hearing it in their inflections, everything like that. It matters. I think a lot of people say Mariah Carey's audiobook is brilliant because you can hear her singing certain notes and explaining how she came up with stuff. That's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I'm really excited for Billy Echner's book. I think he's such an inspo. We became friends with him in P Town last summer and kind of the summer before, but really last summer. Um and have to support the divas. So please um go buy that after you spend all of your money supporting this podcast. Right, of course.

SPEAKER_02 51:00

Uh what were we talking about before this?

SPEAKER_01 51:02

Well, we were talking about so many things, but I want to get into um another group thing. We're talking about Everlane, but oh right.

SPEAKER_02 51:07

But I want to talk about is last- Wait, I wanted to talk about the first time I had ever heard of Sheehan Shine Cheyenne, or however you say it, was because they released like a tank top with a swatska on it. Do you remember this? This was a long time ago.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

That was before Kanye did it.

SPEAKER_02 51:21

Yeah, literally, it was. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and they were like, this was supposed to be the Indian symbol, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Another thing, piggybacking off of that. Do you not know about that? You know that like the swatsuka was originally an Indian symbol.

SPEAKER_01 51:35

Indian, like Native American.

SPEAKER_02 51:37

No, Indian, like India. I'm just trying to scare you. I was trying to. You're not scaring me. I was worried for you because you went to school and you went to like Orthodox high school. I just wanted it to be like sometimes your education is like. A drag queen. Yeah, yeah. You couldn't, you couldn't get me on that one. Uh I was using Canva also to make a pitch deck for my one woman show about my bar mitzvah, and I looked up Jew in the like, you know how you can like pull images and of course I do. Um, and like little objects. Of course I do. They literally had a swapsticker. Yikes.

SPEAKER_01 52:08

As one of the biggest. How did you just say that word? Because I heard swap stick. Swap sticker. Yeah. Flip it in reverse it, baby. Yeah, I'd pray you know that's not how it's that.

SPEAKER_02 52:19

As a Jew. A swapsticker. Swaz sticker. Swazticker.

SPEAKER_01 52:26

Listen, we can't keep harping on this on this podcast. This is supposed to be a place.

SPEAKER_02 52:31

Anyway, they and then I went to look it up like the next day because I was like trying to show someone and it didn't come up. Um, I don't know if it was the glitch or something, but when you hovered over it, it will say what the image is, and it said Indian symbol. Oh. So I'm like, oh, Indian symbol is under Jew. I don't think so, honey.

SPEAKER_01 52:48

That reminds me of when there was this um dating company called Coffee Meets Bagel. And during Pride Month, I guess it was also Flag Day. So they sent a notification out to everyone saying, Stop Hi, it's Fag Day, and we need you, and we want you to celebrate. Show us how you're celebrating today. And I wrote to them, I was like, you wrote this during Pride Month, like it was Pride weekend. Uh be careful.

SPEAKER_02 53:10

Yeah, it's um the 14th of June.

SPEAKER_01 53:12

No, it was during Pride basically. Oh yeah, yeah. Um so that was shocking behavior.

SPEAKER_02 53:17

Yeah. I love Flag Day randomly. I don't know what it is. It's just like a day to celebrate flags, but oh my god, Lu!

SPEAKER_01 53:25

Oh, Straight Luke is in the building. Now, if you listen to our last episode, um, and we had a visitor from Korea, guess what? He is back in the building, but he is not gonna be on mic for this one. He is just talking about to get something. Welcome, Straight Luke. We're gonna be finished so soon. We're almost done. So another thing I've been you thinking about is group thinking about it? I've been group thinking about it for the group. Yeah. I feel like the group is thinking about this because it was number one on Netflix last night, which is why I watched. Okay. Documentary called Crash. Never heard of it, don't know what it's about, don't know anything about it. Okay, if you are planning to watch the documentary Crash, click the skip ahead button like four to five times. Because I'm gonna tell you about the ending. Um, so it's basically a documentary about this high schooler. It's basically a documentary or it is a documentary. I would say it is. Okay. I would say it is. Yeah. Um, but the way that it basically is is because it's only 90 minutes, which is so refreshing. But it was it's about this high schooler. She is she's like 17, 18. She has a boyfriend she's like in love with, and then he has like a good friend. Um, one night at 5 a.m., they're driving, and she's driving, slams into a building, both of them die, both of the boys die. Oh my goodness. And it's kind of like at first, you're like, oh my god, like we hope that she's okay, she gets through this, but then it starts slowly revealing like, did she do this on purpose? Did she go crazy? And they were like revealed, they look at her phone, they see that she was going a hundred miles an hour, didn't press the brakes at all. You can see that they tried to get her to not do that because they could tell by where uh the steering well steering wheel went. And also it tried they had like records, yeah. And they tried to pull the car out like into um like neutral or stopping it, but they couldn't get her to stop, and she drove into a wall and killed both of them. She was willing, it seems like to kill herself. Yeah. Um, and spoiler alert, they go to a trial and they find her guilty, and so she's still in jail for two um murders, and she appears, and she is um holding that she did not do that, and she doesn't remember the night, so she doesn't know what happened, but she would never do something like that. But like she very much. It seemed like she did that. Yeah, yeah. Huh. It was really dark, and they showed the footage of them crashing into the I don't like that kind of stuff. Yeah, for some reason I forgot to.

SPEAKER_02 55:50

I also like how you like 90 minutes is the perfect length for a movie. Yeah. But you've now considered documentaries as series, right? But you don't think that they're movies anymore.

SPEAKER_01 56:00

They're not movies. I can't like I can't watch a TV show if it's 90 minutes, but if it's um a documentary and that's technically a movie, but it's like really an episode of something, like that's fine. It's just a a movie. It's just a movie. I feel like the group is their brains are hurting for the movie. I think we have to get to the segment. What do you even think?

SPEAKER_02 56:19

So this segment is a little improv challenge. Donald and I together make the perfect 2003 gay guy. Donald knows everything about pop culture, reality television, and I know everything about drag queens and theater Broadway. So we are gonna kind of test our knowledge and present someone within it could be a person, place, or thing, any kind of noun, and we're gonna present them with that, and they're gonna have to pretend that they're an expert on that subject.

SPEAKER_01 56:46

That is so right. And you mentioned, and you mentioned the word heavenly before. Mm-hmm. So I wanna ask you about heavenly chimes and your times.

SPEAKER_02 56:58

Heavenly Kimes?

SPEAKER_01 56:59

Heavenly Kimes and your times starts now.

SPEAKER_02 57:05

Heavenly Kimes is a is that how you say it? Heavenly Kimes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:11

Um Heavenly Kimes. But I feel like you know that, but anyway. Well, no, I obviously I know that. Um thank you so much for letting me share about this. Heavenly Kimes is a theme park uh s in in uh Albuquerque, New Mexico. And it is kind of a take on both medieval times and heaven. And so you walk in and the people that are greeting you are dressed up like God. Right. And they're like greeting you at the Pearl Gates, right? And they have to take your tickets and everything, of course, and then they they welcome all of the different rides are heaven to there's of course there's a section that like that you go underground and it's really cool, and it's I know he's asking this, but how does this have to relate to reality TV?

SPEAKER_01 57:53

It doesn't always have to relate because you have so many things.

SPEAKER_02 57:56

No, but you you know so many things. I'm not always gonna say so. Anyway, so uh I mean it's easily related to reality TV. There was a huge scandal where um it was actually a cult and all the people running it were stuck in a cult, and that's that's what happened. Uh that was really good. I don't know if you're always gonna do reality TV.

SPEAKER_01 58:17

Well, that's that's how you changed the sub the uh segment to be.

SPEAKER_02 58:21

Well, I say you know everything about reality TV and pop culture. So pop culture isn't reality TV.

SPEAKER_01 58:27

Oh, okay. Well, I'm doing reality TV. Reality TV is in reality.

SPEAKER_02 58:30

Well, I'm doing reality TV, but it's not only TV. Well, I'm doing reality TV. There, because I might not do a dry queen or theater, I might just do something I don't think you would know about.

SPEAKER_00 58:38

Oh, I like that.

SPEAKER_02 58:39

What the heck is Heavenly Kimes?

SPEAKER_01 58:42

Okay, well, don't say what the heck, because she is a doctor. For real? Yeah. She's a board-certified cosmetic dentist. She's an author, an entrepreneur, and a reality star on Bravo's Married to Medicine. Her name is Heavenly, and her last name is Kimes.

SPEAKER_02 58:58

So Dr. Kimes.

SPEAKER_01 58:59

Yeah. Nice. She also recently um she had a political run where she was running to be uh for the US House of Representatives in Georgia's 13th Congressional District. She came in second place, but she did really well. Dr. Heavenly is um commonly referred to in the Bravo world as a shade assassin. She can read the girls down. And whenever we have a show like Best Shade Assassins, Dr. Heavenly is that. So she could get your teeth together and she could get you together. Okay. That's so random that a dentist is good at that.

SPEAKER_02 59:31

Okay. What do you even think about Revive Ulman? Go.

SPEAKER_01 59:36

Revive Umen. Yeah. Okay, so that's what I'm gonna say is basically Revolve is a store that um exists. And Revive Umen is kind of the darker satanic line at Revolve. It's basically like what Hot Topic was, which was goth, it was spooky, it was scary. They had a lot of things about Pokemon, they had a lot of things with whips and change. My sister actually used to shop there. So Revive Ullman is basically like at Revolve, it's their line of gothic stuff. And what is old is new. So like goth used to be a thing, like when I was in high school. Now it's back because everything comes back, everything's baggy, everything's goth. So I feel like Reviv Ullman is basically their line of gothic clothing of and that is what I have to say about it. I think it's dark, I think it's spooky, I think it's moderately priced. I don't think it's fair.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:29

And that's your time. You were so close. Meaning.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:34

So close.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:34

And what does that have to do with Broadway or drag?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:37

Well, you just said you weren't gonna do Broadway or drag anymore.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:40

No, it's it's like that's what we're experts on, and we might do something within the world of it, but I'm not thinking that every single person you're saying is going to be a podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:47

So that was a trick question. You tricked me. And I won't be tricked on my own podcast. Okay, do you tricked my own podcast?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:52

Rave Ullman is most famous for being the star of Phil of the Future and the character Phil. You know that I don't listen to Disney. I know. You know that I don't listen to him. I don't even know his name, and I actually think he's a gay guy now. You're kidding. Yeah, he's very cute.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:10

When does someone become a gay guy?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:13

Um, I think it's when they wake up and they realize that it's time for them to come out.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:17

Okay, that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:18

I think he's a gay guy. I'm not really sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:19

When someone says, like, oh, I knew him before he was gay, how do you feel about that?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:24

Um, I'd say, so you knew him in a past life? Yeah, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:30

Because he's always been gay. Um okay, so that's cool about him. Yeah, has he done anything since Fill of the Future?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:38

I think he's just Fill of the Future, and that's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:40

Sometimes you don't need more than one credit.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:42

No, that's awesome. That's like a huge thing in pop culture and childhood. And I in Fill of the Future, they used to have those cans. They used to have it was set in the future. Yeah. So their dinner was in cans, like paint spray bottles. Oh fine. And they would like shake it up and then spray it, and it would be like a beautiful steak.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:58

What do you think your first and last credit will be?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:03

I think that we are clearly done thinking at this point. Well, thank you. Hey, babe, it's my birthday. Oh my god, everyone make sure today in honor of your birthday to this is my one birthday wish. I so I told you about my show on June 11th. Right. But I also have a show on Thursday, which this Thursday, June 4th, at Red Eye. It is called Pankaki. It is a variety show and a dating game. We have Rihanna No Buena and we have Jance Sport and Eric Martini, comedian. And there is a very sexy dating game where three bachelors are going to compete to find love with one bachelor. The winner gets $50 and they can either keep it for themselves or split it with the bachelor and go on a date. And it gets very sexy horny.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:48

Your podcast co-host will be there.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:50

Yeah. So if you want to meet us in real life.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:52

Actually, that's our first official you think meeting greet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you don't have to pay a dollar extra for that.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:58

Just buy the ticket.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:59

Yeah. Just buy the ticket. Um, and it would be like really nice for you guys to show up. It's also my father's yurt site. So we have to celebrate together. What does that mean? You don't know what a yurt site is? It's the Jewish anniversary of a death. Oh, really? Yeah, but the Jewish anniversary. His real anniversary is later. Yeah. His real anniversary is like the next podcast episode. Yeah. June 14th. June 14th. June 14th. Flag day. Fag day. Oh, flagging it all together. Um, okay, well, thanks for thinking. And keep your thinking outside.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:31

Happy Pride. Happy Pride.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:37

You think is produced and edited by Straight Luke, aka Luke Martin, and kind of sort of by Peter Shum. Art by Curtis Brown and music by Jack Rayner.