The Bar Mitzvah Episode

In this week’s episode, Prima and Pancake are thinking about their Bar Mitzvahs, the most iconic Jewish moments in pop culture history, and Adam Sandler.

Hosted by The Prima Donald (@theprimadonald) & Pink Pancake (@hausofpancake)

Produced by Luke Martin (AKA Straight Luke) & kind of sort of by Peter Schum

Art by Curtis Brown Photography

Music by Jack Rayner

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:27

Welcome to you thing of podcasts.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

I'm the Prima Donna. I'm Pink Pancake. And today we're men. Today we're men. Today we are men because it is our 13th episode. And that means we are celebrating our bar mitzvah.

SPEAKER_03 0:46

Yes, we thought long and hard about what to do for our 13th episode. Because many podcasts don't make it to 13th.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Oh, yeah, usually they stop at 12.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

Yeah, so we thought, what if we reflect on our bar mitzvahs?

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Bar mitzvahs. So we're still gonna do the same format that we always have evidence at the beginning of time 13 episodes ago, which is for three, three, three, three segments. Um, three as in the second number in 13 The way our minority. Yeah, and one think, one brain, one brain because we're what we're a group. Okay, so the segment number one is called You Think. That's when we talk about what we're thinking about, which is our bar mitzvahs. Right. Number two is groupthink, and we will be talking about something having to do with bar mitzvahs in the group. And then the third thing is what do you even think I'm baby? I don't even know about that, but we'll get into it. Okay. So let's think about our bar mitzvahs. Um, okay, so I feel that just in case there is a thinker out there that has their earbuds like with our nasal, nasal voices, and they're like, what even is a bar mitzvah? We should explain that to them. I feel like we should explain it.

SPEAKER_03 1:47

And I'm probably more well-versed to do this because I went to an Orthodox Jewish school growing up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Um, but I don't feel like it. Do you want to try? Absolutely. Okay. And I actually feel like I'm pretty good at this stuff because I have had to do it a lot. You have as a Jewish educator. As a Jewish educator, um, well, I don't even get into that in Jewish education. Yeah, we actually have so much to discuss when it comes to Judaism. No, it's so good. No, it's getting crazy.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

First of all, this is a this is a Jewish run podcast. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

So we get three colors and then um that's it. Yeah. Because everyone else behind the scenes is not Jewish. Actually, no. Jack, who made our um theme song, our theme song is Jewish, which uh always surprises me every time he brings it up. And um, yeah, that's kind of it. So and yeah, Peter, who's in the other room right now, who's our um sometimes producer, is married to a Jew. There we go. So he is in a way Jewish. Yeah, Jewish. And I identify as Jewish, but I will right now tell you what a bar mitzvah is. So a bar bot binay mitzvah, it could be any any of those beginning parts, is a ceremony where a Jewish child at the ripe age of 13. Or 12 if you're a woman, or 12 if you're a woman, is brought into the world as a Jewish adult, okay? And they have to say a Torah portion, a Torah portion, they have to make a little speech, they have to do a mitzvah project, which is uh giving back to the community, it's it's um community service kind of vibes. Yes, and then if you're lucky, you get to have an amazing party, okay? And these parties are often themed, especially when they're American bar mitzvahs. And you get to invite all of your friends in seventh grade, which is so funny. All of your parents' friends, too.

SPEAKER_03 3:31

Yeah, there's nothing like being an awkward adolescent figuring out who you are, what you are, what your voice sounds like, yeah, if you're comfortable.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

It's probably the worst time to have the spotlight.

SPEAKER_03 3:42

Yeah, no offense to Jewish religion and culture, but we really flopped with the timing on Barbara Mitzvah.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Well, the thing about it is please back when Judaism was invented, the uh average life expectancy was really different. Right. So 13 was manhood.

SPEAKER_03 3:57

Similar to podcasts.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

It's like they didn't think they were gonna make it past 13.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

You're an adult now.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Right, exactly. Yeah, we're adult podcasters.

SPEAKER_03 4:04

Yeah, we really are. Um, so today we want to talk through like our bar mitzvahs, what they were like, some highlights, and kind of just really share with our audience. You want to hear how my tour portion went? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

Loopa lupa loop.

SPEAKER_03 4:22

I'm currently unfortunately obsessed with this AI video of these uh creatures with giant lips going loopa loopa chalupa chalupa. Lupa lupa lupa chalupa. And it's kind of like a tour portion.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

It kind of did, especially the way you just said it, sounded like a ruha lupa lupa lupa lupa lupa.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

Lupa lupa lupa.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

I actually know the first word of my Torah portion. What is it? Because it's my Jewish no, it was my Hebrew name. It's it was Moshe. It was like Moshe. You must have liked her.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

See, the awkward thing about this is like you're like, You also have to sing your Torah portion.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

You have to sing but you can't.

SPEAKER_03 4:58

No matter what, even if you have a horrible voice, even if singing is not something you ever aspire to do, but I'm sure for like the Broadway deep is like you're like, oh, this is my singing.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

Yeah, in in seventh grade, um, when I was 13, I was definitely thinking like this is my time to shine. Right. I was like, I literally am going to destroy this performance. Uh and I remember, so how did you prepare? Like, did you have a tutor? Um, I my so my birthday's June 1st, famously. Everyone knows that because that was on a different episode of this podcast. Right. First day of Pride. Yeah. Um, and June is not like a time when people really are Jewish. Like the summer is like people kind of take a break from it. Yeah, you're totally off from the the religion. Um, especially growing up, super duper reform. Yeah. And uh, so I could either do mine before I turned 13 or after. But if I did it before I turned 13, I would have been in sixth grade. Right. So I'm kind of old for my grade. Right. So I decided to do October. And do you know? Wait, I think isn't wasn't my bar mitzvah like the same weekend as your wedding? Probably. When was it? Well, no, I think mine was October 22nd, and yours was October 19th. Yeah. So that's my bar mitzvah was. Uh November 5th. No. No, wait, I have the shirt. Oh my do you do? I forget. 5th is right. February 5th.

SPEAKER_03 6:27

No. January 5th. No. March 5th?

SPEAKER_02 6:30

Yeah! And I just heard on a podcast.

SPEAKER_03 6:34

Yeah, and I think that's Matt Rogers' birthday. He just um said that that was his birthday in a podcast. So, like, we share so much. You share so much, and I share so much with you.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Yeah, so by the transitive property, I share so much with him, too. Sharing is caring. And yeah, how did I prepare for my bar mitzvah? So growing up like really Jewish, sorry. Uh, not at all. Sorry, growing up really not Jewish, I forgot that. Um, I uh didn't, yeah, just like I don't know. But I uh the cantor, the cantor of our synagogue was and canter's like singing diva down, yeah, singing diva down. Um ours was this amazing woman named Cantor Kazanski. She is such an icon diva, and you would have to go to her like really hot little office and learn your Torah portion. And then in my overnight camp, uh you could choose to have like a tutor for your bar mitzvah. Right. Um, and so they I remember it would you got to go into like the air conditioned staff room and talk to some woman who like knew how to speak Hebrew.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

Yeah, similarly, similarly had an experience, but my mom, shout out queen listening. Hey mom, she got me a tutor, I forget this woman's name, but she was so smart. I think she ended up going to Harvard. Um, and she would like teach me the woods, but yeah, it was all woods. Um and then you had someone at the synagogue who would like check in, I think the rabbi.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

Yeah, I think I had that too, but we had like a tutor through the synagogue as well.

SPEAKER_03 7:59

Okay, no, mine was just like a freelance.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

Um, and because I like really needed the extra help, like it was so difficult for me.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

Even though you like went to even though I went to Jewish school because everyone else like basically You probably had a like more to live up to so much. Well, in my situation in my town, it was like if you just said some mumbo jumbo, like we were gonna be impressed.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

Yeah, basically, it's like you could read up to like seven full portions of the Torah, and like people in my class would do like all seven. And I'm like, I am not able to read it. Did you do all seven? No, I think I did one. I probably only did one, yeah. It was so difficult. But one was like so lit and then like so amazing, like so cool. It's hard because like basically the words are literally in the Torah, so they don't have to.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

You have to read the Torah too.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

You have to read the actual Torah, the actual Bible. A giant you're not allowed to touch it with your hand touching, but basically, you learn with like all of these um punctuations, so you're like, oh, this note is like uh, and this note is like uh. But when you get to the Torah, it doesn't have any of that. So you just have to remember it in your cap each basically.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

You just remember the like full thing. Yeah, you just like memorize it, and then you don't even really read it from the Torah, you just like pretend to.

SPEAKER_03 9:12

But my god, I was like, No, this isn't for me, this isn't for me, this isn't for my culture, although it literally was for my culture.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

It was literally our culture, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:21

So I studied, I studied, I had the thing at summer camp too. You know, I'm a hard worker, but God, I didn't like that process at all. Yeah, it wasn't fun. No, it wasn't fun. I was like, isn't this just supposed to be fun?

SPEAKER_01 9:33

And the No, I don't think it didn't work for that's the thing about religion, is like it's not actually. Can I say it? I'm gonna say this. It's a crazy thing. I literally came to my parents and I was like, so I obviously am a performer, and I just find that Judaism isn't like always the most entertaining. And I want to do something really special for my barmet's foot. So I was thinking that maybe we could bring in a choir from a black church. This is I literally did this. Maybe we could bring in a choir from a black church so that they could sing and they can sing like Jewish songs and stuff, yeah, but it could be like actually entertaining for once. And what did they say? They said, go to your room. Interesting.

SPEAKER_03 10:16

And so let's talk about themes. What was the theme of your bar mitzvah? Uh, my party. Uh I mean, whatever part of it is themes.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

Well, I don't know if you're asking for what my Torah portion was. No, then I would have asked what's your Torah portion? Okay, totally. My theme, so my bar mitzvah has a lot of lore around it because I did make a one man, one woman show about my bar mitzvah. Right. And my bar mitzvah was uh slightly traumatic. Um but the We're gonna get into that. Yeah, the theme from the show is not actually the theme of what it was. Right. Because I had to make it, but it was basically the same thing. My theme was just like entertainment in general, it was movies, Hollywood, Hollywood, and Broadway. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 11:00

So it's so and so but it's pretty much every gay guy I know like had that as their theme. Totally. Except for me. No, your theme was a little bit more. Mine was just like a color scheme, you know. I was trying to be more classic, more traditional.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

And what were the colors again? Blue and gold. And then what were the t-shirt colors that you gave out to the kids? And so tell me how that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 11:19

I just feel like black shirts are a lot more slimming, and so many of my kids look uh like growing up looked horrible in shirts.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

Yeah, so you needed to make sure they were slimming down, yeah. But and the shirts had nothing to do with the theme. No, yeah, why would we tie that in? No, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your mom hadn't meant Sean and John yet. Um, yes, and you mean Sean and Michael for sure. Yeah, Sean and Michael.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

Um, but we I had, yeah, so that was like the general scheme. So it was like, ooh, the tables are blue, but the balloons are gold. Oh, so cute. And what's your favorite color? Not none of those, but I was like What is your favorite color? I actually don't know. Pink. Is it for real? Yeah, I would have said pink. Me and my niece Ruby, we share a favorite color, which is pink. Yeah. Sorry, I just think it's an adorable color. I think it's so fun, like it's so girly. And yeah, colors are gendered. Yeah, they are. Yeah. So, anyways, um, I we we landed more on like the theme, but I was like, I wasn't worried about like the color scheme or anything. I was more about the vibe. Yeah, I was more about the experience that we've had in the what was the vibe and experience? Unbelievable, never been to a party like this. Okay, tell me tell me everything. Unbelievable. Well, first of all, we had a couple giveaways, which like that's an another big thing in barba mitzvah's. Yes. What are you going home with? Ah see, since I went to a Jewish school, we truly we had 50 kids in our grade, so we had a bar mitzvah every week. Every week.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Every week for two years. Probably sometimes like twice in a night. Yeah. Yeah. You had to choose. Well, they tried to be considerate and like talk to each other and be like not there's small enough amount of people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

We kind of tried to do that too. Yeah. Well, you would think that's what would happen. But Rachel Renz, if you're listening to this right now, thin ice, you're my shitless queen. You're my shitless race. It's not her fault, it's really her parents' fault. But our grade was really good about like not, you know, overlapping Barbatz's, but Rachel Renz decided, uh, I need to do one the same weekend as Donald's. Luckily, like there's a lot of complications. Like, mine was kind of like talk of the town vibes, and Rachel's was like, okay, we'll go bowling on a Sunday. So yeah, I feel like I definitely had enough people there. But the complication with Bar Mitzvahs when I was growing up is everyone I went to school with was Orthodox, religious, Jewish. And my temple was not reform but conservative, which is in the middle. Now, a lot of parents at my school were very uncomfortable with this level of Judaism.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Whoa, because it wasn't Jewish enough. And to me, that was like too Jewish.

SPEAKER_03 14:05

Yeah. It was like some people, some people drove to synagogue, right? And that was like, oh, okay, so they're not Jewish. Yeah. Um, but not everyone did.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

We you were able to walk from my house, but it became a whole I feel like um ultra Orthodox people or like Orthodox people, yeah, they consider anything less than that not Jewish. Right, right.

SPEAKER_03 14:24

It's just like Jewish or not Jewish, very binary.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Yeah, to them.

SPEAKER_03 14:28

So to them. So basically, whenever there was a bar bot mitzvah, it would also require like if you were going, you would stay in that town for the weekend. Whoa. Because you had to walk. Yeah. So like if my friend was um if his bar mitzvah was on a Saturday in Sharon, Massachusetts, I would stay at a friend's house in Sharon for the weekend. So it was a whole weekend affair. You wouldn't, your parents wouldn't just like drop you off for the bar mitzvah. It's like you had to stay somewhere for the weekend. But very few people lived in the town that I was in. So it was like uh we uh housed a lot of folks in the house. Oh my goodness. The weekend of our my bar mitzah, we had like 10 kids staying at the house. Wow. And then like staying Was that fun? Um, yeah, it was fun. Yeah, it was like boys who were staying over, and I wasn't really friends with boys, so I was like, uh, like why are you here? Yeah, but and then like the girls were staying at like other people's houses, and I was like, I wish they could just stay at our house, like there's so much more my speed. But they probably couldn't because boy girl stuff, yeah, and like lupa jalupa, but yeah, um but but then a lot of folks didn't come to the bar mitzvah part, but then came to the party, which I was totally fine with. I didn't want to have to sang for them. I was like, this is too much pressure as it is. So a lot of them like went to Rachel Renz's bar mitzvah during the day.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Every time you say it, I think you're gonna say Rachel Ray.

SPEAKER_03 15:50

No, I have many Rachels who have been in my life. Um, but then but then they came to my party at night, but it was kind of like there was kind of talk of like, can you go to Donald's bar mitzvah? Like, is that okay religiously? Yeah, I was like big scandal. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

Yeah, and so then your party, I imagine like a lot of hip-hop music, because that's what you like, but maybe you weren't allowed to.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

No, that I was like, this is important to me. We we met with the DJ, shout out, I don't remember your name. Uh Bar mitzvah DJ is a one of the most didn't you try out for one and didn't get it?

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Not Bar mitzvah DJ, Bar mitzvah dancer. Oh. And wait, I think I did not get that. Yeah. But Julia got it. My old roommate and I, we like went to a Bar mitzvah dancer tryout, and she got it, and I did not get it. And then, but she had to go to so many trainings, and and they never actually hired her to be a dancer. Oh my god. So I was I actually ended up coming out like better from it because she never actually got paid. And the trainees were unpaid, and it was like, you have to go to the trainings or we'll never book you. But then they never booked her. It was really weird. Wait, that's so mean.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

It was like a weird scam. Maybe it was for the best. She's engaged now. Yeah, she's like, that wouldn't have happened if she went to Barmid Space. Exactly, yeah. You know, so um Lupa Chubbalupa. But, anyways, so so um, yeah, so much drama surrounding the thing. But when we had the DJ, we sat with him and like they had a catalogue of music that you could choose from, and I was like, oh, I remember they had like a list of songs, kind of like you were going to a karaoke place, and they're like, just star the ones that are important to you. I sat with this binder for like two whole weeks, and I was like, I need to curate the best playlist ever. And it was like all hip hop because that's what I enjoy to this day, and did then. And I was like, you know what? My camp friends will know the songs, like my school friends won't, but like my camp friends will know the songs.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

I'm like, do you once you came to college? Do you like stay in touch with anyone from school? Not really, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

But I had camp friends, and basically my camp friends were like the cool ones that I'm like, oh, these people were like grind at a bar mitzvah, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, oh, the grinding of it all was such a thing. Did you guys consume alcohol at bar mitzvah? Neither did kids do that, yeah. Oh boy. I know kids would like sneak in tobacco and bring in alcohol. I know, but that's why in solidarity with them again, I'm not drinking uh during this podcast episode. I'm only drinking water because this is the bar mitzvah special, so I just don't want to like make it.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

I do remember my friend JD, I forget his last name, but in middle school. He got sent to a boarding school because he got like wasted one night in when he was 12, and we were all like, What?

SPEAKER_03 18:41

Oh my chupa shalupa. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

Yeah, I think it I think it was seventh grade and and like eighth grade he went to boarding school. Whoa. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:49

I always wanted to go to boarding school. I thought it was like hot. It probably asked about it.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

But his was like uh like you did something bad kind of boarding school. Right.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

And you don't want like Paris Hilton went there and said it was really bad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

I didn't want that.

SPEAKER_03 19:03

Anyway, so your party was so wait, so the music I chose yeah, it was like hip-hop, hip hop, hip-hop. I remember this this one song was like movie about it like a snake, man. But then they didn't play it at the bar mitzvah and I was like, what did I put in all this word?

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Did they do any of the songs you wanted? Or like didn't we?

SPEAKER_03 19:18

They did a couple, they did Yeah by Usher, you know, but I was like, I was waiting for certain songs that I knew I'd picked out of the way. But they ultimately mostly did Thank You Mom, you picked a great DJ, and they mostly did, okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

And then I was gonna say it's kind of like a drag roulette when you like pay a dollar, but like they'll pay they'll play like 70% of the songs.

SPEAKER_03 19:36

Yeah, and so I was like, this is pretty good, and also picked the songs for the um candle lighting thing where it's like next candle, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:45

So if you have a fan to the to bar mitzvah before, um they will light 13 candles, and every single candle will be like dedicated to someone that is usually in the room, right? And usually they will write a little like stupid poem.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

Yeah, blue like candle number four goes to my Aunt Gail because you are faster than a snail.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

Exactly. And I, for my bar mitzvah, I wrote every single one of those myself. This is just normal. Yes. Um, I don't use Hudshit. Um Claude Google AI. True Bash. Sometimes um, there's your AI. Um uh I wrote all of my poems, and normally it was like the Jewish mother would write all the poems and then hand it to the kid the day of. But I like wrote every single one. Yeah, you too. And I felt so proud of it. And I remember being like, I'm going to destroy this, and I am going to like this is gonna be a performance of a lifetime. Yeah. I have my entire bar mitzvah on video, including the service, and I went watching back the like poems I wrote. I had zero stage presence. I was giving absolutely nothing. I was so shy. I was like, yeah, but in my head, serving.

SPEAKER_03 21:06

It's a lot, it's a lot to like have to do that at such a young age. And I mean, as a performer, you probably should have been better at it, but like for other kids who were shy and awkward, I'm like to make them the center of attention. It kind of reminds me at weddings when it's like they're like, now everyone dance. I'm like, not everyone's vibe is dance, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Not everyone's vibe is dance, and also not everyone wants to like enter a room with people cheering for them.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

Right, that's all I want, right? So I loved it, but it's not for everyone, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

Yeah, should I talk about my entrance?

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Or I would like you to talk about your entrance, but also the music curation process.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

Well, um, we have very different like approaches to bar mitzvah. Right. And I feel like I have to set the scene. I would like you to set the scene. Well, so I keep hitting this lamp. Oh my jaluba. Um, okay. So growing up, I grew up a closeted musical theater kid. I was heavily bullied. Closeted about your love of musical theater. Theater or homosexuality? Of my homosexuality. Got it. Same. The love of musical theater was slay and out and proud. Yeah. But the the love of Dick and Cock was very quiet at the time. So, but I was definitely bullied for it. And then going into my bar mitzvah, I like like I while Donald spent two weeks like choosing his music. Right. I did not know pop music. I didn't know music at all. I only knew musical theater. Oh my god. And so also I also realized that like my dad only listens to The Grateful Dead and like jam bands and stuff like that. So that was the music that was played through like my home growing up. So I just thought, like, oh, music isn't really for me. Right. Like I don't really like music. Yeah. And that's fine. And then I set found musical theater and I was like, wait, I love music. I just like this music. And then I after that, I started to find like pop music and stuff. I was like, oh wait, no, I just like hate jam band music. Uh but yeah, but this was a time when I didn't realize, like when I discovered the Beatles in like eighth grade.

SPEAKER_03 23:04

You liked that. Yeah. I was listening to Missy Elliott. I was watching music videos on MTV. I was dancing in my living room.

SPEAKER_01 23:11

I was dancing in my living room. To the Beatles. To Chicago in the musical. I used to put five chairs out and do the cell block tango. Wow. And I would play every part. That is very homosexual. Exactly. And so when I came to my bar mitzvah, I didn't think that Rose's turn would keep me in the closet as my entrance number. So I just told the DJ to play whatever he thought was best. And they decided to play I'm Coming Out by Diana Ross. And then I unintentionally came out at my bar mitzvah, which is actually not the true story, but that is the story. Tell the truth. It's the story that was by Monday at school, that was the story. Oh my god. And so much so. Like, and I was the bullying, like got worse boots. And it was like usually after your bar mitzvah, everyone's like, congratulations. But like my Monday, everyone was like, We heard you came out. Oh like we heard you're gay. We heard you came out as gay at your bar mitzvah. Um, so that was really sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh and then this literally, my I remember my senior year of high school. So uh middle school, I was like bully boots, yeah. But then once I got to high school, they just kind of like left the theater kids alone. And so we just like hung out with each other and like it was kids bully now. The jocks? I think it's like the same, yeah. Um, especially right now. I think maybe like when like towards the end of like Obama's presidency, I think it was like the Glee kids probably bullied the jocks, but now I think it's like kind of back to normal. Um, but who knows? But uh my senior year of high school, I'm walking through the cafeteria and I hear a table talking about my bar mitzvah and how I came out at my bar mitzvah when they played Diana Ross. Oh I'm like, we're still talking about this? Is that we're still talking about this? That's crazy. What the hell?

SPEAKER_02 24:56

Yeah, that was so long ago. That's such a girl, live it down.

SPEAKER_03 25:02

That's trauma, as Jamie Lee Curtis says. Trauma.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

Um, but the song that they actually played was not Diana Ross, it was Pink's I'm coming out, so you better get this party started. I'm coming out. I'm coming out. And so I think that the DJ was probably like, oh, I'm coming out, so you better get the party started. Yeah, let's get the party started. And then it turned into the dance party.

SPEAKER_03 25:22

So I think they were once my brother and I made um a band, uh, and we made it in my room, and we got pots and pants, and I was like, Oh, your mom was behaving. I have a song. I have a song. Yeah. And this is what it's gonna be. It's an original song. This is my life. This is the way it goes, this is the way it flows. And then someone was like, That's um coming out. So I plagiarize, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 25:53

Yeah, but like so did Olivia Rodrigo, and she has to give like 50% of one of her songs to Kelly Swift. So it happens to the best of us.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

Pink Alicia Moore, I believe your name is. If you're listening to this right now, I apologize. This uh record of mine, it didn't go triple platinum like it did, like yours did, but it went triple platinum in my room, honey. Okay, this is my life, so you've been used to it. And I was like, I walk into the mall and I sket must uh and uh, anyways, it was really good.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

That sounds amazing. Yeah, you have that.

SPEAKER_03 26:27

I didn't perform it at the bar mitzvah, and that was the last time I really got into like performing in that one.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

Yeah, yeah. Um yeah, but yeah, but my bar mitzvah was perfect besides. Yeah, what else went down? So that that happened, that was like obviously a really big moment. Oh, I remember my cake, I wanted it to look like a stage, but back then, and something that was happening a lot was people would make like fake foam cakes that looked like cake from afar, so that they could be like really intricate.

SPEAKER_03 26:58

Like before is a cake?

SPEAKER_01 27:00

Um, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. This is just something my brother had like a fake cake that looked like an ice hockey rank. So it was his theme like ice hockey? His yeah, his seemed ice hockey.

SPEAKER_03 27:13

Okay, so obviously you're gay.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Um, and so I wanted mine to look like a stage, but they didn't even attempt to make it look like a cake. They like just and I like drew out exactly what I wanted. And they what arrived was a green, because my favorite color was green at the time. You're wearing a green shirt right now. Oh my god, I'm honoring myself. Was a green curtain on like a foam black, like rectangly standard. Interesting. And so it didn't look like a cake in any capacity. Did it taste like a cake? Well, it was foam.

SPEAKER_03 27:55

I don't I don't have a familiarity with what you're talking about. They would make a fake foam cake that wasn't cake.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

It was not cake at all, but they would put the candles and do the candlelighting ceremony, so it looked like it probably was like a lot cheaper. Got it. And it would look like and then when they would pass out cake, they'd pretend that it was that cake, but like it certainly wasn't. I'm sorry, that's crazy work. Yeah, that's crazy work. Yeah, so my brother had that that like foam cake that was a success, and I had one that was, and I remember like I was probably a Bridezilla, like when I'm the cake came out, I was like, this is not what I wanted. And also they had put a random framed picture of me in the center of this stage. Uh and I'm like, this is a picture of me from kindergarten. Right. What like what is going on? And I was like, mom, this is not right. And we like fixed it as best as we could. But I yeah, my friend Ella Cohen, who probably actually she didn't make it to my bar mitzvah, but I knew her since kindergarten. Why? Um, she was not invited. Oh because we were there was like a period where we I mean, she just like went to a different school than I did, and then she came like I think in seventh grade. So I yeah, it was too like because I was the first bar mitzvah, so I couldn't like suddenly add a company. Um but any who's her woozer, um uh she at her sister's wedding, yeah, there were like a lot of things wrong, and her sister's uh an event planner, like as a profession, like a PR person as a profession. So she just had to like fix everything. Oh my god. And I feel like that was me and my mom at the beginning of my bar mitzvah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:29

Like, this is not how it should be. Yeah, but your voice is probably like Yeah, oh, yeah, scroll. Yeah, your voice is I I watched a video from my bar mitzvah in preparation for this, and yeah, your voice is like it's so good. It's like when you pick up the phone and like how you're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

I feel like you went to you went to puberty earlier than I went to puberty.

SPEAKER_03 29:47

I did, I was like the tallest kid in my grade, me and Esther, who's like a model, um, tall girls, tall girls. Also, some incredible details for my wedding. Wedding bar mitzvah. Um, so I'm gonna talk about my bar mitzvah now because I just got so distracted because I saw a wedding picture in the background. Um, for my bar mitzvah, is you walked in and it's like, oh, are there signs that he's gay? My mom had a big poster of Drew Barrymore because I was obsessed with her. And it was like, it was like photoshopped of me and Drew Barrymore, and Drew Barrymore being like, sorry, couldn't make it to your bar mitzvah. I was like, but I remember walking in and being like flowering. Yeah. This is like before AI, yeah, like Photoshop, like pretty new. I was like, oh.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

Also, I feel like nowadays celebrities are like much closer to our fingertips because they like they're on social media, social media, and they can like say whatever they want to say, and also you could like buy a cameo if you want to spend that much money on something, but back then, like not at all. No, and all that you heard from celebrities was based on interviews.

SPEAKER_03 30:52

You just see their movie or their interview, or their interview, and that's you wouldn't get to see Drew Bermore experiencing the rain and not missing the opportunity. Like, that's a more recent development, right? So that is very I was thrilled, and that's what everyone signed is like that poster board. And I was like, Yes, my mom made a gorgeous, adorable collage. Like, all that was another fun thing at Barma Bot Mitzus. Like the parents sometimes would make a collage of like all your like baby pictures and like growing up pictures, and you're like, oh, we used to have montages of that, like a video montage.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

So I had a video montage, of course.

SPEAKER_03 31:25

Yeah, and everyone's watching, like, oh, you're so grown up.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

Wait, I wanna my bar mitzvah was so slay. Yeah. Um, when you walked in, there was a red carpet, there were fake paparazzi, kind of like your wedding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. You're trying to be me. Well, I did it first. Oh yeah. Um, but the yeah, there was fake paparazzi, but the paparazzi were kind of like, I remember they had like weird feathers in their hair. I was like, this is not paparazzi, but but it was the same thing, yeah. And then all the pictures that were taken, you could choose to turn it into like a keychain or a magnet or something like that. And then the kiosk to get your table was like a big Oscar, and then you were like given your table. And then for the children's hors d'oeuvres, we there was a green screen where you could record your own commercial with copyright. Oh, it could be fun, and so there was like a teleprompter with copy, and you could choose like what commercial you wanted, and you could like do it. So that was really fun. That's incredible. Yeah, it was incredible. My mom thought of that, it was brilliant. Oh uh, yeah. My town was um extremely bougie. Yeah, and so there were some people that had insane barabat mitzvah parties, yeah. And so it was very much about like how creative can we be without doing like with you know, some people did crazy stuff that was just so exorbitantly expensive.

SPEAKER_03 32:46

I would say the barbot mitzvahs I went to were less like that and more moderate. So I felt like mine was like of the upper, like, this is incredible. Like you are having a wild night. I remember even our giveaways, so you would play Coke and Pepsi, which is like the best game ever. Best game ever.

SPEAKER_01 33:01

You have to play to every bar mitzvah. Yeah, and basically all the kids are split into two lines, and you you all have a partner, and so you're away from your partner on the opposite sides of the dance floor. The MC would say Coke or Pepsi, and then you'd have to run to whatever side you you were, but then there were like other things. Sometimes they would switch who was Coke and Pepsi, sometimes you had to do other kind of activities.

SPEAKER_03 33:24

Let me tell you, it was so drama. First of all, picking your partner for Coke and Pepsi. It's like, okay, you can either go with like a dear friend of yours, or if you're like me, I'm like, I want to win. I don't need a friendship, I need a win tonight.

SPEAKER_01 33:36

Did you choose your brother?

SPEAKER_03 33:37

Often, because he was very competitive and good, but he wasn't at all the bar mitzvahs up. No, but at your own bar. Oh, at my own, I think were you with Orin? I bet you were. So my dear friend Orrin was there and he like sprained and broke his ankle playing Coke and Pepsi. Oh my god. He like had to leave in crutches. Of course. Um, which happens to the best.

SPEAKER_01 33:53

But he wasn't your partner. I can't remember who my partner was. I remember who my partner was. Who was it? Because mine was kind of sad. Partner, queer. Um, well, I two things. I was like in elementary school, I happened to be best friends with a lot of the popular kids. Um, because my best friend growing up, who was like a family friend, was super popular. And so I was kind of I was best friends with them, but I was definitely bullied for being a little different. And then once we got to middle school, it was like the first day of school, it was very much like you are not welcome here. Yeah. Um, and there was like a boys' table and a girls' table. And I remember every day they were like, every, like almost every every day they would say you're not allowed to sit at the boys' table, you're not a boy. Oh my god. Or they would literally be like, You're a fag, stop sitting with us. That's so like almost every single day. It was crazy. That's so mean. They were right, but that's so mean. I know, but I was still allowed to sit there. Right. Um they were right, but like, what the fuck? Yeah. Um but yeah, so for my bar mitzvah, a lot of the like quote unquote popular kids were like some of my quote unquote best friends. Uh-huh. So when I was choosing my bar mitzvah table of like who I wanted to sit with, I kind of made like a popular kids table, and then I made my table, which had some popular kids. Right. But literally, a lot of the popular kids ended up sit, including like my quote unquote best friend, sat at the like popular kids table. So my table was like kind of empty.

SPEAKER_03 35:17

Oh my god, that's so sad. Which is devastating. That's so sad.

SPEAKER_01 35:19

And so then when it came to choosing like who is my partner, I thought my best friend would probably be my partner. Yeah. But he, like in seventh, you know, sixth grade, we you know, he like he did not stick up for me, and he very much was not gonna like whatever. So I don't have a partner, so my cousin was my partner.

SPEAKER_03 35:40

Oh, that's so pathetic. Which one?

SPEAKER_01 35:42

Adam. He's a sweet boy. Adam. He's my he's my male younger cousin. Um, Adam. Um I hope you're listening, Adam. Thank you for being a partner to my. Adam knows. I don't know. My dad and my like aunt, they they his dad and my aunt. My uncle and aunt, they love my my Instagram and your Instagram.

SPEAKER_03 36:03

As they should. And I bumped into one of your uncle's. Yeah, my other uncle. Yeah, I'm kind of knowing the uncles. But, anyways, so this game, I was like, I need there to be a sickening prize for winning. Like sickening. Yeah. And I was like, what is the most ornate thing I could ever think of? I was like, oh my god, what if we gave out a DVD? So we went and I've like never been kissed. Literally, of a Drew Barrymore movie. We got two Drew Barrymore movies. Which two were out at the time. And it's like, whoever wins gets a Drew Barrymore DVD. Ah and I was like, no one's ever walked away from bar mitzvah, but like, a DVD? Are you kidding?

SPEAKER_01 36:45

Wait, I do feel like our bar mitzvah's really do represent just the our approach to them represent like still represent us to this day. For sure. Where I was so focused on like the aesthetic of everything and like and and things that like I remember my sign-in board, I wanted it to be all black and white pictures of me in like theater shows that I was in, and with like one in color in the center, yeah, of like me at my bar mitzvah. And when it arrived, that was not what I had ordered. So many people are just not getting your vision. No, and it was so fun. Like, I was like so specific about everything, and I think they just were like, fuck this kid, like that seems hard. Yeah, um, but I was so particular about everything when it arrived. I'm at and but then at the same time, it's like when things arrived, I was like, it's okay, we all make do with what we have. Like we can't at this point we can't change it, so we're just gonna keep moving on, and that's okay. Um, yeah. Um, okay. But and of course, you're thinking about like this, what are the prizes, what is the music that's playing?

SPEAKER_03 37:42

The music, the aesthetic, uh, not at all, not at all the aesthetic.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Like the not the aesthetic, but you don't care about the theme, but you care about the vibes.

SPEAKER_03 37:51

The vibes, like, and I care about what it's looking like, right? And like when people leave, how are they gonna feel?

SPEAKER_01 37:56

Yeah, you know, how are they gonna feel? Yeah, and it's you know, it's we have the same desire with different approaches, so that's why together we're the perfect team. So true, sister. That's why our wedding was perfect.

SPEAKER_03 38:08

Yeah, so true. Uh, but yeah, I just felt like it was so fun. Like the dance floor was totally turned up. I just saw a video today of like me getting lifted in the chair, and I was like, ooh, I need to stitch that with me getting lifted the chair at my wedding. Sob, sob, cry, cry. My mom's gonna love that video. You do have to stitch that. Oh my god, how major. How major. Nostalgia's really in right now, like emotions are really in, and I think that would perform strongly on TikTok. Um, what other moments of our elements of a bar mitzvah? I mean, there's so much to talk about. Yeah. I feel like But specifically of ours. Oh my god, of ours. Because then we can get into like food. Like I remember there was you don't remember food? So we we had like a sushi table when you walked in for the adults. And that I remember being like, wait, we're so effing major. Yeah. We're so effing major. Um, and then like kids had like boring food. But I just remember whenever there was sushi at a barminster, you were like, oh bitch, we are.

SPEAKER_01 39:07

I didn't like sushi until college when you made me try it. And I said, This is amazing. You're kidding. I discovered I like sushi in front of your own eyes. You don't remember that?

SPEAKER_03 39:14

Oh, how about this? What um level of awareness did you have about your homosexuality on your bar mitzvah day? 100%. Like, what were you thinking about it? What do you mean? So, like, I remember being like, okay. I remember like going up to do my portion.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

I remember the music playing and my heart sinking because I knew that that was going to be bad.

SPEAKER_03 39:36

I remember going up to do my portion and being like, uh-oh, like I'm I think I'm gay and I hope God doesn't like smite me down now that I'm a man, you know, like so sad. Um, but I was like, because you were more religious.

SPEAKER_01 39:49

Yeah. So I didn't think about it in like a godly way. I thought about it more as like I'm getting bullied for being gay. Right. And I'm probably gay. Right. But like God didn't really come into play. It was more that I that like the song out of me.

SPEAKER_03 40:06

And for me, God was like top of the like so high up in the list. I was like, oh my god, like now that I'm gonna become a man, like he's gonna be so upset with me. I don't even I didn't believe in God. I don't know what I believed in, but I was because I was so young, but I was at the school and they were all like, God this, god that, gay bad, gay bad. So I was like, oh no, like this is like now the rules are kicking in. Yeah, because you're a man now. I don't remember what I did for my misfit project.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

I also remember I was like, I'm not, I remember when I did for my Misfit project, and I also remember I I was like, I'm not comfortable with being called a man, I'm a Jewish adult. Um I was like, I'm 13 years old, I am not a man, I am a Jewish adult. Oh yeah, like I don't even shave yet. And I even, yeah, and that didn't happen until like last year, but I still don't shave bearded drag queen. Um but I so yeah, I was like very particular, like I am a Jewish adult. And I remember the MC saying, like, what like what what does it mean now? And I was like, I'm a Jewish adult. He's like, No, you're a man, like, no, I'm not it's silly.

SPEAKER_03 41:05

It's also like interesting who you invite to a bar mitzvah, because like so much of it is like your parents choosing, it's really like family, and you're like, okay, they'll be here. But like, at least for our grade, our grade was so small that we just invite everyone.

SPEAKER_01 41:18

I did not have to invite everyone. So you had to be there. It's interesting. Um, I so also my bar mitzvah the same weekend because you had like a double feature. I had a double feature with one of the popular girls from the other um middle school in town. Oh and so there was some like uh-oh, who's who are people gonna go to? Oh, and then I also think I had a double feature with a camp girlfriend too. Um so like not all my camp friends could come to mine. Got it. Um, but I yeah, I definitely like invited a million girls. Yeah. Um, I definitely and I I like I didn't really have a lot of friends that were guys, right? Except for like the friends. Like me in the future, yeah. Except for like the elementary school friends that I like still invited, but were not sticking up for me in any way once I got to middle school and like the bullying really got super bad and overt. Yeah. Um but yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:13

That's why it was like awkward for me because like I definitely sat at the girls' table like in my life, like girls were my dearest friends, then like boys did have to stay over my place that weekend for because of the Shabbat one.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

I know, so I didn't I didn't invite like a bunch of my like best friends to this day because I still have best friends from like elementary school kindergarten. I have best friends from like kindergarten. Wilds. Um, so I didn't invite some of those people, but I and I also didn't my best friend Eli, who like I know Eli. My straight best friend Eli.

SPEAKER_03 42:42

Eli, if you're listening, love you.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

He did come to my bar mitzvah show, but I had not seen him before that in the years, and I have not seen him since. But I think he's engaged or and or married now. Um, but he was not, I met him the first day of uh seventh grade because he moved schools. I remember coming home and being like, Mom, I have to invite him to my bar mitzvah. Like I made a new friend. Yeah, because I was like, I actually made like a real friend that's a boy, yeah. Like a real true friend. Major. And my mom was like, No, like we've invited too many kids, and then she's like always regretted since then that he wasn't invited to the bar mitzvah because he actually became a true friend. But you can't trust some kid that's like I made a new friend today and that doesn't make any sense. That's a little crazy, yeah. So I stand by her decision, okay.

SPEAKER_03 43:22

And I think that's fair, yeah, and I think that's really fair. Um, well, so overall, we were so happy with our bar mitzvahs.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

I mean, mine was crazy, which is why I turn it into a show because it just is like so emblematic of the growing up gay experience. Yeah, and also it's just so it's just so weird to 13 is one of the most awkward ages anyone could be if you're lucky to get to that age. Right. And to have to have a spotlight day about you is crazy to have.

SPEAKER_03 43:52

Oh, also outfit, anything special you did?

SPEAKER_01 43:54

Yeah. Let's hear. I decided you had a chromatic at Josh Rad. No, I just had a real men wear pink. So I wore pink for my bar mitzvah for both. So for my the and I think at the time like pink was a color that was in for men, but it was like definitely like a little riskier. It was a statement. And so I um for the uh service I had a tie that had a pink pink in it, like a pink stripe repeating. And then for the party, I had a pink tie pink shirt. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:28

You went there, sister. My outfit was like more traditional than standard, but I had a fun tie, and I was like, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 44:36

I also so oh, and for party favors, you gave out t-shirts at the end. Oh, I also had t-shirts at the end. Yeah, I everyone always gave out sweatshirts for barmits, was when I was in seventh grade. And so my mom was like, that's so boring, let's think of something more creative. Right. And so we gave out these like tins, like cookie tins with like that look like movie reels. Cute. Which was it is really cute and creative, but like, and they were like filled with like popcorn and like things you could bring to the movie. But I yeah, I don't know. It was like definitely cute and creative, and I think like for a parent, it's like, oh my god, how amazing! But for most of the kids were like, what the fuck? Right. Like, what are you doing? But they want like a t-shirt, yeah. Um, and my t-shirt that I took from you doesn't fit me anymore because I got way too buffed. So buff. So if your mom has any mediums, I would still love, I'd love to. I could give you my small for medium, Lisa.

SPEAKER_03 45:30

I I did help design the shirts which say I partied at Donald's Bar Mitzvah, and then with clip art, there's people dancing. It's customink.com. Yeah, one of the worst shirts I've ever seen in my life. I love what I do.

SPEAKER_01 45:42

I, oh my god. Well, I with my mom's friend who was a graphic designer, created my own logo that I still could use to this day. I still have um some of the like the thank you cards for my bar mitzvah that had my logo on it. And so my initials are MW, flip it around, it's still MW, it's not Wicked Witch. And so I'm like, I want to have a logo that you can flip around and make MW. So I like worked with her and I gave her notes. And I've like really always been this way, huh?

SPEAKER_03 46:09

Yeah. Your bar mitzvah probably cost more than my wedding, and I think that's beautiful. We should ask. We should ask.

SPEAKER_01 46:15

I don't think so. Honey. Um, well, the graphic design was a free gift.

SPEAKER_03 46:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 46:23

So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:24

Um, obsessed with that. Okay, so now we're gonna go into group thing. And we're just gonna talk about a couple um bar mitzvah moments in media. That's like really iconic moments. Yeah, like that the group think.

SPEAKER_01 46:36

I think the first one we have to discuss is Vanessa Bayer doing Jacob the Bar mitzvah boy on SNL. That is just one of like she just nailed exactly what a bar mitzvah is like. If you've never seen it, do your fucking homework.

SPEAKER_03 46:51

Yeah, basically at the bar mitzvah, like after you do your whole Torah portion, you have to give some sort of speech. Talking about, yeah, at the service, talking about the Torah portion and what you learned from it. And it's all very formulaic, and for some reason everyone delivers it like exactly the same. Exactly the same.

SPEAKER_01 47:07

And it's so interesting because it's also written exactly the same. And I imagine now with ChatGBT, right, like you already basically had the formula. Yeah, I obviously did something completely different, um, but you had the formula, and like they always do it exactly the same, and she nails exactly how everyone does it, and you always have to make like a few punny jokes about your like Zadie, yeah, your siblings, like even though you could be really annoying sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 47:37

And she really nails like the cadence of it and being like, well, I'm being shy to my bar mitzvah. When I first went to it's like just so perfect the way she does it. I can't even oh that actually we didn't get into it, but like, do you remember what your tour portion was about or what it was called?

SPEAKER_01 47:54

I so it's because I did that show about my bar mitzvah. Right, you remember I went back to like like I watched my full bar mitzvah. I watched my full party to like write the show. Yeah, and I also I want to do that show again because there were a few things I wasn't able like I I mean, I guess I had like a short video of those moments in it, yeah. Um with me like doing that speech too, like of the actual bar mitzvah itself. Um, but I wanted other things about it, but I also like I wanted to figure out how to like play Coke and Pepsi on stage, and like I wanted to figure out certain aspects of the bar mitzvah that are like key things that I didn't necessarily get to choose. But I I forget in this moment what it was about, but it was something about I I think it was like something with with Suko.

SPEAKER_03 48:40

Got it. Mine was called Vayakel, and it was the most boring portion in the whole world. It's basically wasn't yours like counting things, basically. Yeah, it was like just talking about the building of this temple, and it was like, and then we added in three bricks, and then we added in four logs, and then there's like no story there, it's like very literal of how to build this building, and I was like, and I learned that like even boring things can be important. No, you didn't, I learned so much, you learned nothing.

SPEAKER_01 49:10

I remember my um uh my mitzvah project.

SPEAKER_03 49:14

I just like worked at a soup kitchen for a while. Oh my god, you love soup. Um, okay, so back to media, honey. Uh-huh. So that SNL one is incredible. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:25

Also, Adam Sandler's daughter's film. Well, it's his film that he that stars his daughter. Correct. Um, called You're So Not Invited to My Bot Mitzvah. And the whole movie is about how important the entrance is. Yeah. So that was really triggering for me. Really triggering for me.

SPEAKER_03 49:41

I thought that movie was like so true to bar about mitzvah's, like in that season and that time and that era. Yeah. I was like, whoa.

SPEAKER_01 49:49

Yeah, I didn't, I feel like it didn't land the plane in the way I would have enjoyed it because it did get a little outlandish.

SPEAKER_03 49:54

Yeah, it did.

SPEAKER_01 49:56

I think a better representation of the awkwardness of a bar but mitzvah. The perfect representation of a bar about mitzvah is pen 15. Ah, so yes, so incredible. They nail the awkwardness, they nail the like wanting to slow dance, wanting to grind, what like the gifting of things, the just how awkward.

SPEAKER_03 50:16

There would be grind lines.

SPEAKER_01 50:18

There would be grind lines. So, do you have that? Probably at camp.

SPEAKER_03 50:21

Brief the are my camp friends would get into that and be like, to the windows, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:28

Yeah, that was like that was always a moment. And you know what else was always a moment? The final song, and it was three choices either I've had the time, or that was not one in my life. That was always really or um there was one on my last dance. Yes, last dance. It was always those three, and that's when you knew the bar mess was coming to you.

SPEAKER_03 50:54

But now I've heard one of the famous ones is Luba Luba Luba Chalupa Lulu Lupa Chalu.

SPEAKER_01 51:00

I wonder if anyone else will know this reference.

SPEAKER_03 51:02

You're not gonna know this reference, but the day that this comes out, I'll post it on my story so you like really understand why I keep saying this because it's such an important TikTok. The artist, in case you're wondering who the artist is, is A I well, just like the account, if you want to follow the account. It's called Lupa Silibi. Lupa L-U-P-A. Um, and then S-I-L-I-B-I, and like I'll just like play a quick clip so you all know like what I'm singing.

SPEAKER_01 51:40

Great, great.

SPEAKER_03 51:41

For some reason I can't stop saying that lupa ta lupa, so that's what that is.

SPEAKER_01 51:45

Um I love that so much. Uh yeah, so that movie, I think Adam Sandler has just added so much to the lexicon of Judaism Entertainment, which is awesome. Uh what were some other oh, we have to talk about this one. What? 13 the Musical. I know you're not a musical. I don't know that at all, but this is Ariana Grande's Broadway debut. So Ariana Grande actually was playing a small role in 13 the Musical. And 13 the Musical, it's about a boy that's turning 13 that is having a bar mitzvah. How old is he 13? And so he's he moves to out of New York City to like a small town and he has to have a bar mitzvah, but he doesn't have any friends there anymore. And he's like, you know, has to like make friends and invite people to his bar mitzvah. Yeah. Um and Ariana Garnet did not have any singing, like any solos in the entire show. So her mother marched into the office of Disney Channel and she said, We're gonna. I want to make history. Um, no, apparently, rumor has it that she marched into the the producer's office, and when she left, Ariana had a phone number. Wow. And I think she like wrote a fat check too.

SPEAKER_03 52:51

And she was probably 13 years old.

SPEAKER_01 52:54

And she probably musical is interesting because they cast everyone in the cast was 13, yeah, and everyone in the orchestra was 13 as well. Oh, but Ariana Grande was in it.

SPEAKER_03 53:05

She probably weighed more then than she does now. Yeah, it's so fucking sad. So sad. We're thinking about it. So sad. Uh 13.

SPEAKER_01 53:12

13 going on 30, another movie. Yeah, I mean, another 13 moment. Another 13 moment. Oh, I love that one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:21

Um, I really um love also Insects in the City. Samantha has an episode where she hires um, well, she guess has hired to do the PR for a bot mitzvah. And she's like, I have a 30 A-list guests will be at this bot mitzvah. The Clintons couldn't go, but everyone else will be there. And Samantha's like, we'll see if we can get in sync. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:45

But she's like hating having she hates having to work for this 13-year-old. Yeah. And it's played by Kat Jennings, right? That's right. Dennings, Kat Dennings. Dennings, Kat Jennings, yeah. Um, who was in Two Brook Girls Nora's Infinite Playlist or whatever. Where has she been, by the way? Um, I don't know, but she actually also grew up in my hometown.

unknown 54:04

Ah!

SPEAKER_01 54:04

Yeah. Uh so she probably came to my bar mitzvah. Oh man, fun. Yeah, she didn't, but she could have. Oh. She could have. Uh, I think she's older than me. Um But yeah, I guess those are like the main media references. I I kind of want to talk about like a crazy, just because we're talking about Judaism a lot. I want to talk about a crazy thing that happened to me this weekend. What? That is like actually kind of super dark. Let's talk about it. Um, but I want to talk about it. So I we are here like celebrating Judaism in like a really fun, cutie way. And I think obviously anti-Semitism has been on the rise in the world in the last bunch of years. And uh there also has been a rise of Jewish people kind of turning in a bad way politically.

SPEAKER_03 54:50

Yeah. Um and thinking that the solutions to anti-Semitism are ones that are not real solutions. Make a well, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:00

Well, I'll I mean, I'll I'll just tell this. So I um uh there's this one guy that I have met over like over the years. We literally met off grinder and we've like, you know, seen each other out every once in a while. Two summers ago, I was doing a show at Asbury Park um at Paradise, which is an amazing bar, and he was there with his husband, and I'm like, oh my god, what what are you doing here? Like you live in New York City. He's like, I actually have a place right outside Asbury. Incredible. I ended up staying over the that next night and like at his beautiful house, and I had the most incredible time. Ever since then, he's wanted me to come back. And so last weekend I went back and it was him, his husband, who is an immigrant um and also Jewish, but an immigrant, and his like four other of his friends. I get there on Saturday, we are having the best time. Party, party, party. We go to paradise, we're having the most incredible time. I am drinking down, honey. We get back to his place at 2-ish a.m. and we're sitting on the couch, and suddenly, I don't know how this conversation happened. He starts talking about how I need to be on board with Donald Trump because if I'm not, like Donald Trump is the person that's going to save, like to end anti-Semitism. And if I don't, and and he was also saying there's a rise of the of Islam in the world, and because of that rise of Islam, that there's going to be a second Holocaust by the year 2070.

SPEAKER_02 56:28

Oh what?

SPEAKER_01 56:29

And if I'm not on board with Donald Trump, then I'm causing this problem. And that I've been so privileged my whole life that I'm blind to this. And I was and I was like, I have been really privileged my whole life. But separate issues. And it, I mean, he went on and on and on, and it was, and I had, I was like, can we not talk like can we talk about anything else? But there I was, it's 2, 3 a.m. Were there other people in this conversation? No one else was in the room. Everyone else was like outside at the pool. And where did he get this information? That's what I'm so curious about. Because I'm like, and he also he's not on social media, he's not on Instagram, he's not on TikTok. So I I he said that his mom and uncle had like a falling out because of politics. Oh my god. And his mom, I found out, is a Trumper. Like I found a little before this. And I'm like, oh, she probably had this exact same conversation with her uncle, and that's why. And then I heard him go into his bedroom, have a big fight with his um husband, I think, like about this. I think his husband is agrees with him, but then he came back and apologized to me for bringing it up and said that he was being insensitive. The next morning or that night? No, that night. Oh wow. Um, but I like literally couldn't fall asleep because I was so sick to my stomach. But I I just growing up Jewish, obviously I grew up very reformed. I grew up like kind of hating going to Hebrew school, and my town was so Jewish that it didn't even feel like a big identity to have. Yeah. And it was so like typical that it didn't feel like that. That was just not a difference I felt ever. Um and I yeah, so I I feel like I took Judaism for granted. And I also just like have never really enjoyed organized religion. Yeah. I and the aspects of Judaism that I enjoy are very much the like, I think that obviously, like most religion is homophobic and has like really strict rules that are crazy. But I do think Judaism overall is like be kind to others and like people that are disenfranchised, we need to uplift them, we need to give them mitzvote, and like we need to support parts of the religion are like that. Yeah, parts of the religion are like that, and that's the parts that I've taken that I enjoy. Um, and and I think that's a part of like my reform Judaism that was taught to me. Yeah, yeah. Um, and it just to me, Judaism is very much about like supporting someone who has less and isn't as privileged, is it was at least my experience with it. Um, and we learned so much about the Holocaust and them saying like never again, never again. And I feel that this man particularly, and there's other people out there too, are taking never again as never again for Jews. Yeah. And we will prevent that in all means necessary, but not never again for anyone. Right. Because never again means never again for anyone, right? Right. That all people need to be equal and we need to uplift everyone. Yeah. And it just fucking terrifies me that he was saying all this stuff. And I I felt like I was in get out because like I had no idea. It was like a horror movie reveal. That is shocking. Yeah, that's like completely, utterly shocking. And like throughout the day, he was making some off-collar, off-collar jokes, but I and I was like, I don't love that, but I'm like getting to know him as a person, and then so then it was kind of like, oh, well, connecting all these dots.

SPEAKER_03 59:43

How can you be gay in MAGA?

SPEAKER_01 59:45

Yeah, and he said he's a single issue voter, and this is his single issue. Wow, but it's like he has an immigrant husband. I was like, what about ice? And he's like, Oh, you think it's like because they killed a bunch of people? It's like they haven't even killed that many people. I'm like, one person is enough. One person is enough. God, it's crazy. I just don't understand. I just don't understand it. It's so fascinating.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:06

Did he realize like that it's a wild thing to be gay in Maggie?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:09

Like, he's like, I know you probably he also said he's like, You're the the only Jewish person I know that doesn't believe this. And I said, then we must be hanging out with a really different people because literally no one I know is believing what you're believing. Yeah, that's insane.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:23

And that is crazy. Trump is not the solution to anything positive now, period. Period. Like, that's just it.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:30

Unless you loved death and destruction. Oh my god. And bacteria lettuce. Yeah. Like I that is so scary. So then you got out of that home. Well, the next day. Did I say yeah? But yeah. But I I wanted to say for my friend's drag show, which was at 7 p.m. Yeah. Um, so I just kind of was like antisocial the next day. Yeah. And it was I just felt so awkward. He also woke up like really angry. Oh. And you he was like making like jabs at everyone, and someone was even like, wow, you're like really angry right now. Um, and I was like, it's probably because of last night. Yeah. I just felt so uncomfortable. I mean, understand. I feel like kind of crazy, like publicly speaking this out loud to a million viewers. Yeah, or a million viewers need to know about it. People are out there. I do think you need like I just I vigilant people are out there and be vigilant. We I just don't I just hated Judaism, which is happening right now, but Judaism being used to uh support hate and being used to like support malicious views. Yeah, and I can't stand for that.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:32

And we won't stand for that. And sorry those gays, but you're not invited to our bar mitzvahs. Yeah. You are so not invited to our bar mitzvahs. Okay, now we're gonna get to the final segment. Which is what you even think so. Here's our bar mitzvah twist for it, okay? Okay. We are gonna say the name of someone who was invited to our bar mitzvahs, and you're gonna have to kind of guess who that person was, what their vibe was, and what their vibe was, who they were. Yeah. Um, so I'm gonna give you a name, okay? Give it to me. Um, I want you to tell me what do you even think about Aliza Zach?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:08

Aliza Zack was your like go-to girl at your growing up and your bar bar mitzvah. Uh, you just love like she was one of your best friends in school. Um, sh yeah, she obviously you grew up like in an Orthodox town, so she had like seven million siblings, and she probably didn't love that you were gay, but I think most people didn't even realize you were gay. Right. And she just loved that you were a good time. Right. And I think at this point now she probably is married with like five million kids and you don't talk to her anymore. But at the time she was your like go-to girl.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:42

And that's time. Whoa, right at one minute. Um, okay, honestly, not too far off. So Elisa Zach was a girl in my grade who was really fun, but was kind of considered a whore. And she even got kicked out of school because they found out that she was like a whore, I guess. Oh my god. Not a whore. She just had like hooked up with people. I don't know how they found this out, but they kicked her out. Out of school? Yeah, I was once suspended for a day because I got caught giving her a hug in class. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I was suspended. You're basically Jesus Christ. Yeah, I'm a ruler. Because you supported the whore. Yeah, right. And I we she and I gave each other a hug once, and a teacher walked in and said, Get out! And we got sent to the principal's office. They suspended me, they called my mom at school, at work, and she was like, Don't ever call me with something like this again. Uh, put that kid back in class.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:39

I have so many Jewish stories I'm thinking of right now.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:41

So many Jewish stories.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:42

Can I tell like a really quick one before we do this? A really quick one. So, well, this is actually about my brother, but my grandma, Mamsie, who's almost gonna be 92 in September. Um, she is like the sweetest, kind of meek, supportive woman. Like I could literally take a shit on stage and she would say that was the best piece of art she's ever seen. Um and my brother got your mom does that too. Keep going. Yeah, totally. Um, but we're talking about Mamsie. Yeah, my brother got an in-school suspension from Hebrew school and had to stay late after school. And they put him in, they locked them in the temple wherever they did in the chokey? No. Basically. Um and my grandma comes in and she's like, Where's Alex? I need to pick him up from school. Yeah, and they're like, Oh, he's in detention. And then and she says, My brother, my brother, sorry, that's my brother. My grandson is an honor student at Welsh Valley Middle School. He does not stay for detention. And then she marched in, she opened the door, she said, Come on, Alex, we're leaving. And that's just not anything my grandma would ever do. But she does not suffer fools. And like, yeah, she really says. I want to do something like, come on, we're leaving. Yeah, I need to do that. Yeah, movie moment right there. Um okay, so give me a name. I'm going to, I'm thinking between two, and I'm going to say Nicole Sutliffe.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:00

Okay, and my time starts now. Nicole Sutliff was the tomboy of the grade. Yeah, all the other girls were girly, girly, girly. They loved dancing, they loved theater, they love makeup. She was just a tomboy at heart. And that's why people were like, is she queer? Is she queer? But we didn't have words like queer then, so they said big fat lesbo, which is different than queer.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:24

Yeah, which is different from queer.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:26

Um the vocabulary existed differently. Um, and so she would play her sports all the time after school, but you guys kind of connected over not that, because like you're not a sports guy. You connected over to sitting near each other in class and always having a laugh. And that's my time.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:44

Um, so you are right about one thing. She's a girl. Well, she is a girl. Um, you're right about two things. Okay. Um, she was like one of my close friends at the time of my bar mitzvah, and I remember her being one of the like few. Popular girls that like stayed at my table and sat at my table and did not move to the other table. Yeah. Um, and she it's like I've like reconnected with her over the years, yeah. Um, but she was like in the popular girl group, and a lot some of them are like very vapid and mean, but she was always like really sweet and wonderful, and I really like cherished her. And this is something I've never shared with her in the whole world. This is a youth. And this is such a weird thing to share or say, or even have done. But my bar mitzvah wish, this is so weird.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:35

Is this like obsession?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:37

No, um, no, my bar mitzvah wish that was that is was Nicole. I was like, I think one of them was like, I don't want Nicole to become like a mean popular girl because she's becoming friends with them. Whoa. And that was my wish. It's like one of my two, and my other wish was like, I want to be on Broadway. Um yeah, it was very much the plastics. Um but it's funny because I reconnected with her on Instagram like X amount of years ago when I started doing drag because she now I think she's either bisexual or a lesbian. Oh, I knew there was queer anime. But she never like that was never something that I even considered growing up because she was like, she's she still is like more girly, but she was very like girly and feminine growing up. She was with all the like popular girls wearing pink and all that shit, she did play field hockey, but besides that, and I feel like she was like good at it, so you were right about that too. I felt that, but yeah, she that I like I needed to share that because that a weird thing to wish. Um, no, when you're 13, it's like those are the things that I think. Yeah, that you think about. And then I was gonna say a different person because there was another girl who's was wearing a tube dress and her dress fell off and her boobies got exposed. And she ran to the bathroom and cried. And I went into the girl's bathroom and I was like, listen, I know that that's horrible and really embarrassing, but this is my special day, and you are my dear friend, and I need you out there having an amazing time. And I'm just like, and if anyone thinks that that's embarrassing, then who cares about them because they're wrong? Such drama at your brother.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:13

Um, well, this was the Bar Mitzvah special of Youth. Oh, Rukatarana. Thank you so much for listening. You know, next week we'll be back to our regular programming that's not bar mitzvah theme, but we really want to give you a special, special treat. Think of it as our giveaway from our bar mitza. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:50

You got a t-shirt or a little tin can that looks like a movie reel.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:56

And keep thinking, and keep your thinking cabs on in Burka Sham. Yay!

SPEAKER_03 1:09:05

That was so thinky. You think You Think is produced and edited by Straight Luke, aka Luke Martin, and kind of sort of by Peter Shem. Art by Curtis Brown and music by Jack Rayner.