Man Enough to Admit It

Episode 2 gets real about a different kind of faith, the kind people put in you every day.

We’re not talking about church. We’re talking about the pressure of being the one your family depends on, the one your job relies on, and the one your friends call when things go wrong.

From providing for your family and handling finances, to the stress of sales, expectations you didn’t ask for, and trying to hold it all together when you feel like you’re falling short, we break down what that weight really feels like.

We also get into the stuff people don’t see. The quiet stress. The moments you fake confidence. The times your kids believe in you more than you believe in yourself.

This episode is about pressure, responsibility, and learning how to carry it the right way without losing yourself in the process.

At some point, you have to stop living off everyone else’s expectations and start building your own foundation.

We’re still figuring it out. Maybe you are too.

We appreciate y’all listening. If you got something out of this, share it with someone who’s still figuring it out too. We’ll catch y’all next time.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

All right. Welcome back to episode two. Um our first episode was just kind of about our introduction and how we planned on going forward with this and what we were going to talk about and just things like that. And um I was nervous, but it was I thought it turned out alright. I hated hearing my voice, but it was it was weird hearing my voice. I was like, oh my gosh, it sounds terrible. But I I mean I think at the end of it it was it was okay.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Yeah, it wasn't too bad. You could tell early on both of us were pretty uh pretty nervous, got this microphone in our face, and uh not really knowing what to do, but maybe we're a little more comfortable this week.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

It definitely takes um a little bit of time to get used to this, you know, and I keep getting sidetracked with all the buttons, you know. It's a that's a lot going on.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

But uh, you know, last week uh we talked about that, and then we we kind of finished with the um kind of a teaser of this episode with, you know, this next episode will get into how faith actually shows up in real life, not just on Sundays. But with that, you know, I don't want people to think, oh, they said there wasn't gonna be a Christian podcast. Well, I wasn't talking about that kind of faith. I was talking about the faith that, you know, that our families have in us, that our work has in us, our friends have in us, you know, that can that can definitely uh put a lot of weight on your shoulders and kind of weigh you down at times, you know. Yeah, absolutely. So um, with that being said, you know, just to start off with, you know, just your family expecting you to be stable one all the time, which obviously that's that's granted because we are the men of the family, right? I mean, we are the leaders of our household. Um we do hold a lot of weight. I mean, we don't pay the bills, we get taken away or the power goes out. I mean, you know, and and so they do have faith. Like, because we we have little ones, you know, they don't they don't understand that. They just assume when they flip the switch the light comes on.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

Right.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

You know, they they have no idea that that mom and dad have to go make money to pay for the electricity. You know, they don't understand that. They they assume when they make a mess and they need to get a towel or a rag or something, they can just go turn the water on, the water comes on. Like, so they don't understand um what goes behind just things like just paying your bills and and things like that when sometimes that puts a lot of weight on our shoulders, you know.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

Yeah, it's a lot of pressure. Um, you know, and and kind of just diving right in, especially for me, you know, like I said in the last episode, um, my job's in sales and it's a hundred percent commission. Uh and also we're you know, we're a small business, uh, so I think we have eight employees total, and I'm the only one in sales. So, you know, that can be a double-edged sword for everyone in the company, you know, having having the faith in me to go out and make the sales so we can maintain our business. Uh, and then obviously on the flip side, like you said, your your family depending on you for the bills uh for you to be able to eat. Um, you know, that can uh that can really put a lot of pressure on you.

SPEAKER_02 3:22

Yeah, I I so I don't know how how it is at your house, but like at my house, I take care of all the finances. I I do all the bills, all everything finance-wise. You know, we obviously have our joint account, we are both of our uh checks go there, but at the end of the day, I'm the one that decides what money goes where. So, you know, if what if there's something that I want that month or that week and I I go buy and I waste the money and then something don't get paid, you know. So so it is it is a lot of a weight that I don't think um gets looked at enough, especially you know, when you are the when you are the man. Um I mean, and you are in charge of those things. You know, there's some families that both people are in charge of certain bills. Uh sometimes men aren't in charge of any of the money, they just get whatever allowance their wife gives them. You know, so uh, but with with our household, I am in I am in charge of the finances. I am in charge of making sure everything gets paid. When it does get paid, um make sure it gets paid on time, you know. And and sometimes I'm human. I forget. You know, I for some reason I don't have everything that comes out out automatically. I for some for some reason I I'm stubborn and I want to pay it when I want to pay it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

So I'm I'm the same way. And and for us, it's it's more she's in charge of this, I'm in charge of that. Um, and so, you know, probably about half the time the stuff I'm in charge of uh ends up getting put pushed back a month or three.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

No, I I completely get it. I mean, I and and again, that and that's just one of the things, you know, there's so many different things that that she's in charge of that I man, there is no way I could go every single day like she does getting those kids ready every morning.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

Oh, I know it. And we just have the one daughter, and it's like, man, just that alone, you know, because uh, you know, for us, my daughter, she she has to be on the bus at seven in the morning. And I mean, there there, you know, there's days I got to be gone by four or five, and I could do that, but having to get up that early every single day and and have her ready, uh, yeah, there's a lot of stuff. Well just like you said, there's a lot of stuff behind the scenes our kids don't see. There's there's just as much behind the scenes that we don't see that our wives do that we don't even probably notice.

SPEAKER_02 5:54

And you said she has to be on the bus by seven. Like I'm gonna tell you right now, our kids wouldn't make the bus. I mean, we are we are pushing getting out of the house at well, I say we, they are pushing getting out of the house at 7:40 every morning. But you know, she she wakes up every morning, she she cooks them breakfast, she makes, you know, makes them their lunch because they take their lunch every day. Um, Jersey doesn't go to school yet. He he goes to daycare and Durant. So, so she wakes up, she she gets them ready, she dresses them, um, makes sure all their stuff signed for school that day, you know. And on top of that, we have twins, so it's double. It's double everything, you know, double lunches, double breakfasts, double hair days, you know, getting your hair done. Like, I mean, it's double everything. Luckily, you know, Riley, she's old enough that she can take care of herself and handle her, handle her own business and and not have to worry about it. And, you know, and starting next school year, she'll be driving to school. So that'll be one less kid that you know we have to worry about getting to school on time. But we are very blessed because my mom comes over here every single morning and helps. Really? Every morning my mom gets here before work. Um, she takes the kids to school because, you know, we're busy. I mean, it's just a busy life that we have. And and my mom, she comes in, she she takes the kids to school, and then she goes to work from school. Um, you know, she but she drops she drops Riley off first or she drops the kids off first, and then she goes around to the other school. I don't know which one she drops off first, but but uh she drops those kids off and then she goes on to work. But but there's just so much that goes into that that you and I don't even mess with, you know, because like I said, if it was up to me to get them ready every day, we probably wouldn't go to school.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

I mean we'd we'd probably get there, but she'd probably dress about like I'd I'd do every day. She might be in pajamas or uh, you know, hair won't hair won't be done.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

Well, yeah, I mean I don't have hair. I'm bald. You know? So so um it would it would be it would be rough. It would be very rough. But like I said, I mean my wife wears a a cape, you know, because she is Wonder Woman. Like it's it's impressive how she does it and and she does it with the smile on her face. Now, obviously she gets overstimulated sometimes and stress out, you know, but who doesn't? We're human, you know. But uh, like I said, there's just so many things that the kids don't see that goes on, you know. And I mean, even with the kids, I mean, even though for how young they are, I mean, they still get stressed out about things, you know. Um they might not like, well, prime example, my daughters think they gotta wear what they want to wear, and sometimes they can't wear what they want to wear, and they get plum upset about it, and they they get stressed out because they don't like what they're wearing, you know. Like so, so obviously everybody in life gets stressed out over things, and sometimes we think they're little things, but a lot of times to that person that's getting stressed out, it's not a little thing, you know? And I think that's something we do overlook is is we don't know their mental capacity. So even if it's small to us, to them, it is a big thing, you know. And and I think as parents, sometimes we get frustrated with our kids because they're not moving fast enough or they're not, yeah, you know, those certain things are like, why are you getting so upset over something so small? But their brain's a lot smaller than ours, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Yeah, I'll notice a lot of times my daughter will be so impatient about stuff, and then I'll stop and realize, well, shoot, I'm I'm always uh rushing her to do this, do that, because it's uh, you know, constantly on the go. And you know, gotta realize sometimes that if that's how I'm gonna treat her all the time, then that's how she's always gonna be. She she's not gonna have any patience or or uh, you know, just always gonna be in a rush for everything.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

Well, you know, it it's funny that you talked about, you know, rushing and being patient, you know. We was sitting in Sunday school class last week and um a great friend of mine, Chase Martin, he was sitting there uh talking about, you know, because it was the first time he has a he has a lawn business. He does he mows some yards on the side on top of his normal job, you know. And that's just another thing is in today's world, how many of us do extra things to make extra cash because we just we're just trying to make it. We're just trying to live that social media life. Yeah you know, so he he works a full-time job, then he comes home and he's he's rushing around to you know go out and mow yards because he's got to get a bunch of yards mowed before the rain comes in, and just but you know, he was talking about his son going to work with him, and and you know, I I respect Chase a ton because he's a he's a great guy. You know, I don't know if you've ever got to know Chase, he's a great guy. Yeah, yeah, I know him, he is. But um just you know, just a ton of knowledge, and he was just talking about that day he was trying to rush his kid, trying to hurry up, let's go do this, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. Then he was like, you know what? Like I'm gonna be patient, you know. God's, you know, telling me to slow down, like, be patient, just relax. And he said, he kept telling himself that all day, like I'm gonna show him or I need to hurry up, do it for him, and knock it out. But all day long he kept practicing patience, patience, patience, slow down, slow down. He was like, when we was all when it's all said and done, that end of that day, he was like, that was a great day. You know, I spent a great day of work with my son, teaching him how to work, teaching him how to do these things, and I was patient. And it turned out to be a really good day. So and I I think that that's a good point to show that sometimes we do, we just need to step back and slow down.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

Yeah, and just you know, sometimes it's just enjoy the moment and and realize that uh, you know, for him in that situation, being able to do that with your son and and show him things and see him work, you know, it'd be something to enjoy versus you know, let's go faster, we gotta get this done, we gotta make more money.

SPEAKER_02 12:19

And well, because at the end of the day, your kids are only young for a short time. Yeah. I mean, you know, I took for granted a lot of Stephen and Riley's younger years, you know, because I didn't I was young anyway, you know, but I didn't really cherish those moments, I guess you would say. I it's not the fact that I I don't remember him or I wasn't there because I was there for him. You know, but but I didn't value that time like I do now because I look at Steven, he's a grown man, you know, like he went from a little bitty, snot-nosed redhead kid to, you know, a 6'1, muscled up dude, you know, like where did time go? You know, now I'm looking up to the kid, you know, and and he's a great kid, great, great head on his shoulders, loves the Lord, you know, loves his girlfriend, but but like I said, I didn't cherish that time. And it was it was nice to hear Chase talk about I slowed down and I got to enjoy the moment with my son. You know, and that's and that's what we try to do as parents, or what we what we want to do, that's our expectations, is to enjoy the time with our kids. You know, we talked about last episode of of how it's always go, go, go, but like we need to slow down more and and and because they're learning from us just as much as we're learning from them, you know.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

Yeah. And I don't remember if you talked about it last week in the episode or if we were talking about it after, but you you were talking about how you uh had got to spend so much time with Steven because you were you were teaching at the time. But it's like even if you're not cherishing any of those moments, being able to to be there with them, you know, basically from weightlifting at six in the morning until bedtime, you know, it it's not really it it's time with them, but you know, it's not really valuable time, you know. So um it doesn't really kind of defeats the purpose if you're not uh slowing down and yeah taking some time to enjoy it.

SPEAKER_02 14:34

But you know, we we talked about um how you know our family expects us to be the stable one um as you know men of the household. Um, you know, let's move on like to work. Like I didn't know that you were the only salesman. So I mean you're basically not only feeding your family, but you're feeding seven other families. Right. Yeah, so that's that's a lot of pressure. You know, that's that could be scary all in itself.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

Yeah, and you know, I don't know if you yeah, you are in sales, but uh I'm sure some of our listeners are probably probably in sales or have done sales before, and and sales is is uh it's a roller coaster, you know. You you go to wherever you go to make the sale, you make three in a row, man, and your confidence is is you know out of the out of the roof, and uh you feel good, and then man, you go three in a row without them. It's like man, I may never sell another one. We might be in the streets here here shortly, and uh it's uh it can be extremely stressful, you know.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

No, I I and and that would be hard, you know, because I I sell I sell training, I sell, I sell an idea, you know, to to businesses and industry leaders and stuff like that, because everybody's gotta have some sort of training at work with OSHA and all that good stuff, you know. So, so it's an easy sell for me. You know, we we are great at what we do. So basically the school sells itself. You know, I just get to to be the beneficiary of it and say, I'm the guy that did it. You know, but in all honesty, I don't do much except just talk. Yeah, you know, but but yeah, that would be a that'd be stressful, and that's you know, that's again people having faith in you, you know, just so time and time again, people people lean on you and rely on you, you know. The next one would be um, you know, friends coming to you for advice. Um, you know, whether it be, hey Josh, or hey Britt, I'm short, I'm short money this week. Can you spot me a hundred bucks for gas so I can get to work? Or hey, I'm short, you know, can you can you help me out on rent? You know, stu stuff like that. Like, like you get you get so you're so dependable to people that now you're trying to help them. I mean, because at the end of the day, you know, they're trying to do better, you know, but but we're fortunate enough to be able to help somebody, so why not help them? You know? And so now not only are we helping our family, we have to help our friends too. So, so it again it gets stressful. And the worst feeling in the world is when somebody asks for your help and you can't help them.

SPEAKER_01 17:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

You know, that's hard. You know, that that's that's hard because you obviously have to put your family first, but but as a as a good human being and a a person, you want to be able to help them as well. So when you have to tell them no, you're like, ah, geez, you know, so that it's hard.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

It sucks being in the in the position of having to ask, you know, having to kind of swallow your pride. I have too. Uh it uh it's tough because you know, you you do what you can, and if if it's not enough, you get you gotta go where you can to try to try to make something to get out of the hole.

SPEAKER_02 18:04

Yeah, and and you know, like it sometimes it gets to such a bad point whenever your family gets so used to you helping now they just take advantage of it. You know, so and and that gets hard. Like, you know, I have I have a cousin that's in prison, and and he and he all he has every he's giving me every excuse in the book on why he needs 20 bucks. You know, and I I want to help him because I love him. You know, but I'm not helping him by giving him what he needs while he's in prison. Right. I mean, he's never gonna learn if I just constantly keep giving him what he needs, you know. So I do sometimes I have to tell him, hey, like, I'm not gonna give it to you. If you call me again and ask for money, I'm not gonna answer. Like, I want to know how you're doing mentally. I want to know how, you know, what's going on with you. Like, what are you doing to better yourself? I don't want you to call him, hey, man, you'll never guess what happened. And then give me a story that's nine times out of ten gonna be a lie, just so he can have 20 bucks to buy buy some food in the cell, you know. So it's I mean, that's hard because again, people have faith in you, you know. So faith keeps popping up over and over and over. Um, you know, and sometimes they're the pressure side of things, you know, and like this is where it gets hard, you know, with um feeling like you can't mess up, you know, because like like you said with your job, you know, feeling like you you can't mess up because you got people relying on you.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

Yeah, and and it's just, you know, for me with sales, man, when I put that pressure on myself and I start thinking about the the amount of people that are relying on me um and feeling like, man, I can't mess this up, I can't mess this up, you know, probably a very good chance I'm gonna end up messing it up when that's all that's on my mind, versus you know, going in relaxed and uh being able to have a have a smooth presentation or or whatever. Um, because those usually seem to run a lot better when I don't put that pressure on myself.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

Yeah. Um, you know, and another one is having to carry those expectations that you didn't ask for. You know, there's always those too. Like, you know, it's like your job title and then others as needed. Others as needed is what usually falls on that falls on you that you didn't ask for. You know, that was, you know, it's funny because I my I don't remember one of my last years of coaching. I, you know, I when I first started at at Medil, I I was coaching football, I was coaching wrestling, I was coaching baseball. I mean, I was coaching the sport every single season, you know, and at the time it was just Infinity and myself, and then Riley and Steven. So my older my kids were older, so I didn't really have to help around and focus on little kids, you know, because they could do everything for themselves. So Infinity gets pregnant and she's starting to need help, you know. So I'm like, eh, okay, I'm gonna give up a sport. So I went and talked to the superintendent at the time, like, listen, it's gonna get hard around the house. I need to be able to be home with her. I well, what sport do you want to get rid of? Wrestling. Nine times out of ten, and ten times out of ten, honestly, because it's hot. You know, it's hard. Nobody likes nobody enjoys wrestling practice. Right. They enjoy the matches, they enjoy the duels, they do the tournaments. But I've never met somebody that's like, yes, we get to I mean, I have, but it's usually the psychos that were weird.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

They're weird. They were really good into it.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

But um, but yeah, so like so I gave that up, and then uh the next the next year. You know, we didn't wait waste much time. We had Jersey a year later and went back to him. Hey, you know, I got three little ones now. What are you gonna give up? I was like, ah, baseball. Baseball takes up a lot of time. It's a long sport. It's you know, it's way too much time than what it should be, you know. So I give up baseball and life's going good, you know. I'm living living my life, you know. Well, I thought I was at the time living my best life, I should say. Um athletic director comes to me and says, hey, there's been a you know, there's been an issue. I'm gonna need you to coach junior high baseball. And I'm like, oh no. Like, nope, I ain't doing that. You know, I was coaching varsity baseball, and then I got out of it. I was like, I ain't coaching junior high baseball. And uh, and he was like, well, yeah, you are, you know. He's like, I was asked the first time, but now I'm gonna tell you that's what you're gonna do. So, you know, and the school made it right. They they paid me way more than I'm I'm worth. They, you know, they took care of me. It was only a couple weeks, but that couple weeks I ended up enjoying it way more than I thought I would. And um season was over, and I was like, hey, I'm gonna do it next year. You know? Yeah. So I was like, yeah, but I mean, that's kind of that, you know, getting those those things that you don't want, you know, because you gotta do them sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

And that's just how having but actually having it turned into something that you enjoyed that you you really didn't expect to enjoy out of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:38

And you know, and then there's obviously the the quiet stress that nobody ever sees, you know, and that's and that's the hard one. Like that's sometimes when you lose faith in yourself. You know, there's those big walls or those big hills. You climb those small hills, you know, but at times you come up to a mountain and you're just like, I can't do this, you know, I can't do this. Right. And that and that's when it is it is nice to have those people you can you can count on, you know. Like people have a lot of faith in us, but I can my list goes on on people that I have faith in.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

You know, and and so that's when I have to reach out to somebody that I have faith in because I don't have faith in myself, and I get stressed out about it, and it starts weighing me down because it gets heavy at times.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

Yeah, so so what what would be a good example do you think of of of something for the quiet stress? I'm trying to think of what I mean, what that might entail.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

To me, like I said, I have I have the stress of all the finances. What if I overspend or you know, my wife and I both overspend and there's not enough money to pay the electric bill? That kind of stress, you know. Okay, I see where you're just just the stress of of knowing that you can't take care of something that was supposed to be taken care of because that's your job.

SPEAKER_01 25:14

So when you get in that position, is that is that something you would share with your wife? Is that something you would try to try to I I do, yeah, because obviously my wife will judge me, you know.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Yeah, but but um she's supportive, you know, and now when I when I say stress about finances, she stresses about finances.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

It may uh she may be a pain at during the time that she's doing that, but uh makes makes it a lot better in the end. Because honestly, I don't I don't share that with my wife on the yeah, you know, when when it's something like, man, you know, she does the electrical, let's say it's rent, because that's the big one. If it's like, man, you know, I I need a couple hundred bucks in about eight hours, or uh, we're gonna get an eviction notice. Uh I'm, you know, definitely not um trying to persuade anyone to go this route. This isn't the like sit, like we said on the in the first uh episode, we're we're still trying to figure it out. We're not experts, so I'm definitely not giving advice here, but I'll be the one to try to scrap up the money some way or another, you know, whatever I gotta do.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

You don't wanna you don't want to show her that you failed.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

And I think that's just being a man, like what man enjoys failing?

SPEAKER_01 26:41

No, you know you know, and and um especially like you said, when they've got that kind of faith in you and you want to hold that that reputation. Now there have been times where it was like, hey, uh, you know, we're about $500 short on rent, and we, you know, we got about 48 hours, so what do you think we need to do? Oh, and that's the worst, is to wait and wait until it's like, okay, now there's nothing I can do, you know, to just make this money. Oh, she'd get mad at me, and and rightfully so.

SPEAKER_02 27:15

Um well, you know, it's it's funny because we we I mean we obviously get in bonds at times, you know. We we are very blessed, God's blessed us. I mean, obviously we have you know we have a beautiful home, beautiful family, everybody's healthy. But like there have been times where we've gotten in a bond and we couldn't afford it. But you know, it it's funny because God has always got us out. You know, like that's and I think that's that's a reason why my faith is what it is, because there's been so many times that my back was against the wall, and I'm in this corner fighting off all kinds of stuff, and and God's provided. You know, I mean, just truly provided. Like there'll be random times that we just get money deposited in our account for for something random that happened months ago or overcharge, you know, just weird, weird, non weird ways that you can't explain it.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

You get like a like a bank error, like someone else deposited the stuff.

SPEAKER_02 28:33

Yeah, just weird stuff, you know? And but like there's no rhyme or reason or or how it happened, it just happens, you know, and I think that's that's why I'm so strong in my faith, and nobody can tell me God isn't real because of that. You know, people do tell me God's not real, and I just I laugh because they just they just haven't experienced it yet. Right. You know, so but but I mean, like I said, it it's happened, you know, and you know, like another one's you know, acting like you've got it all together when you don't. Man, fake it till you make it, man. You know, fake it till you make it. Uh I mean, I mean that goes from coaching to to work to parenting to being in a relationship. How often have you faked it until you make it? You know what I mean? Like we've all done it. Every day. Every day, every day I do it. Stay doing it. And and um, I mean, heck, I just started this job, you know, less than a year ago. And well, I'm out there acting like I know exactly what I'm doing, you know. And man, I'm the same way, man. If my boss was sitting right here, he would tell you how often I ask him for help, you know. And I I have a great boss. I have, you know, he's he's a great leader, best boss I've ever had, you know, honestly. Like he is truly the best boss I've ever had. Like, he has full faith in you to do your job. I mean, and he's somebody that you can literally go to at any time to ask for help, and he will show you. I mean, super smart, you know. Um, I mean, everybody I work, I I basically work with the A-team, you know, like it's it's great. Like, you will never hear me say a bad thing about anybody that I work with. Nice. I mean, we we get along great, we work together great. Everybody has their superhuman powers, you know, in the workforce. Like, like Jason, phenomenal boss. He's like the, you know, just the dude that gets everything. Like he understands, he knows everything. There isn't a question that I'm gonna, he's been like, uh, I don't know. He's always got an answer. And then, you know, Tracy, she's she is like the glue that holds everything together. You know, I doubt the department I work in would even run without her, you know? And then Brad's knowledge and just industry, every kind of training there is, he knows about. Um, you know, so it's it's just I don't honestly, I don't know why I'm in that group. If I'm being honest, you know, sounds like you got it made, man.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

I I wish I wish I had people like that.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

No, I mean, I I really am blessed. You know, I I had a great job at Medil. This, you know, job opened up and I I got it somehow, and it's been it's been a blessing. I mean, it really has. God has definitely blessed me and and uh taken care of us. But you know, a lot of people have faith in me doing things that I don't have faith in myself a lot of times, you know. So that that's and again, that's where the fake it till you make it comes from, you know. Dude, my first year coaching football, I was so stressed. I didn't I I didn't really play football much. But I mean, I mean, played your senior year. But I mean, but I didn't I didn't grow up loving it. You know, yeah. If it wasn't if it wasn't for Al Johnson, you know, to teach me everything that I know, dude, I wouldn't be nothing. I just had a great, I just fell into a lucky spot.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

And what uh what did you coach? What position?

SPEAKER_02 32:31

Well, so I I I coached O-line, I was considered the O-line coach, but but really he was the O-line coach. I was just his assistant, you know, because he was the head coach. So he's not gonna be head coach slash O-line coach. He's just the head coach, and I had the O-line title, but I was really just Al Johnson's little helper, basically. You know, but but the knowledge that he just he took the time to show me and teach me, and you know, I was able to go and and then I learned, you know, from O-line coach Al Johnson, somebody that played at the highest level, you know, I mean, he was the the center for Tony Romo. You know, like how cool is that? Yeah, you know, so being able to learn from a guy like that and then go to Medil, and I was the old line coach there, but you know, I had I had Chad Spear, who was another great old line mine who also played college, you know, and and and played, you know, high school, obviously, but but another great old line coach that taught me a ton of stuff. So, I mean, that's that's 40 years of old-line football crammed into my brain in in 10 years' time, you know. So, so it's it's being super nice, being able to have those mentors and those those people teach me what they know, you know. So while I'm faking it, you know, I'm learning so much, and that's and that's the biggest part, you know. Whenever you get in a situation that you do have good mentors, be a sponge. Yeah. Listen to them, man. Find find find that person that that you want to. If you're the smartest guy in the room, there's a problem. You know, yeah, exactly. There's a problem if you're the smartest guy in the room. So, you know, I I always try to put myself around people that have knowledge, you know, like like Terry Rushing, great friend, you know, just somebody that's older than me, that that's been there, that that I can look at for advice, you know. I mean, I always try to have those people, you know, Randy Kendricks, my pastor. That's the guy I go to with, you know, questions, Ron Robertson, you know. Oh yeah, Ron Robertson, yeah. Like I try, I try to put myself in the same room as people that I know that are smarter than me. You know, and and you you know, you say that I'm smart and intelligent. It's it's because the people that I I put myself in the room with, you know, I'm I'm I'm never the obviously I'm clearly not the richest, you know, but but I I put myself in those situations to better myself because you you turn into people that you that you hang around.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

Right.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

And and if I if I put myself in situations that or those people, I'll I'll be okay. You know, in the meantime, I'm gonna fake it, but I I'm gonna make it, you know, and it's it's because of those people.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:36

You know, so absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

And you know, making sure you're you're picking the right people to uh to be a sponge towards, you know. If if it's someone that's not successful that's not gonna help you, then just gonna let them drag you down. Um so you talked about Ron Robertson. I do have one quick funny story with him. So you remember in in high school, you have signs, you know, your your uh third base coach has signs. So in high school, our sign was just like you've got the indicator, like the the belt, probably, and then whatever comes after the belt. Whenever I was in junior high, Ron Robertson was our coach, and we had such a complicated system for for our signs. It was like anytime he'd touch the arms, it's worth one point, like the belts two, the caps three, and it'd be like, okay, today 14 is gonna be stolen bases and 12 is hit and run. And it was like, golly, if this is that tough, how tough is high school and college gonna be?

SPEAKER_02 36:38

Make you nervous, huh?

SPEAKER_01 36:39

Yeah, and it was it was way I never had never had signs like that. Not even close to that. I remember uh Aaron Dodd boy, he struggled with those signs. He'd get them mixed up every time. It was funny.

SPEAKER_02 36:52

Well, you know, it it's funny, it's it's funny you say that because Ron may be one of the most intelligent men I know. Like, even, you know, I coached with him for five years in football, and just the knowledge he has. Nine times out of ten, a person like Ron Robertson is coaching college football or in the NFL. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

Like the way he could read a defense or and just the intelligence he has is just Yeah, and and you wouldn't really know it just just talking to him until you really sit down and and and let him break things down and talking with him. Man, this guy does.

SPEAKER_02 37:35

He is he's uh because he's such a good human being. Yeah, I mean, he does not think he's better than anybody else. Right. And I mean, he can he can go in any room and fit in. Yeah, you know, he really can. He can go in any room and fit in. But that's just that's just the guy he is, and I mean, he's he's a phenomenal human, you know.

SPEAKER_01 37:58

That might be a great person to bring on at some point. Oh, yeah. Oh coach Robertson, if you're listening, uh give us a shout out.

SPEAKER_02 38:08

No, and you know, um we talked about you know times that we felt people believed in us more than we did. You know, that's that goes to my kids, man.

SPEAKER_01 38:17

Like man, every every minute of every day, man, that you know, for me, that uh faith in myself can get well can get super low.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

You know, it's just like last this past Thursday, um my my daughters had a field trip. Their first ever field trip. They got to go on those first ever field trip. It was just a little trip to Ardmore, you know. They went to like a play and they went to the park and and had lunch and then they played. And um, I wasn't gonna be able to go. I was originally gonna try to drive the bus and so I could spend the day with them and I was gonna take off work and well, just didn't work out that way. Um, so lunchtime, I was like, well, I'm gonna take a lunch and I'm gonna I'm gonna go see them. So I found out where they was, were, and um we they were at the park, they was at the regional park, and I I get there, and tons of pre-K kids are running around playing, and and just it's chaotic. And I see their teacher, and she was like, I'm glad you showed up, and I'm like, why? You know, and she was like, Ivy said that she knew you was gonna be here today because you work in Ardenmore. You know, so so that's that faith that she just knew I was gonna be there because I worked there, you know, and I at the time I didn't think I was gonna be able to go that day. It just my meetings kind of you know lined up right where I could take me a 30-minute lunch and and go see them. And but but again, that goes to that faith. Like they she knew that I was gonna be there because I worked in Ardmore. Did you tell her you were gonna be there beforehand? Nope. Oh, you know, so so if I wouldn't have showed up, she would have been so disappointed, you know, because I've man, honestly, now that I look back at it, I'm pretty sure every kid had a parent there except mine, you know. Oh yeah. Now, now, granted, you know, some parents went to the play, the other parents didn't, that that those parents really didn't go to the park, they just went to the play and then went back to work or whatever, and then vice versa. But man, if if I wouldn't have showed up, what would that have faith been then? You know, because Miss Paige said she knew I was gonna be there because I worked in Ardbour. Yeah, you know, so that's that that's that blind faith that our kids have in us that that we don't think about every day that I never would have even thought about. Like, I never would have thought she was like, oh, my dad works here, so he's automatically gonna be here.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 40:51

You know, but I'm I'm blessed enough to have a job where I can take that lunch and go just see them for just even if it is just 30 minutes. It was it was a good 30 minutes because I got to push on the swing, I got to see them, you know, I got to see they introduced me to 40 friends that I have no idea. I I couldn't tell you any of them's name other than other than some of the kids she goes to church with. You know, I know those kids because I see them all the time, you know, and I'm friends with their their parents. But um, but just you know, those times when, like I said, they believe in me more than than I do because she believed that I was gonna be there, and I had no faith that I was gonna be there at all. Right. You know, so that was that was a good that's how my daughter is, man.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

Now, with her, even if I say we might, you know, hey, what are we gonna do tomorrow? Uh, we might go to the park. She's gonna lock that in as gold, and and she'll remember every time. 100% a lot of times she'll wait till it's bedtime. Hey, are we still gonna go to the park? Because you said we were gonna go to the park. It's like, oh man. And uh I'm sure that faith can it can dwindle uh very easily, you know, whenever.

SPEAKER_02 42:00

And and that that's just like you know, moments where we drop the ball. Yeah. I mean, I man, like I do that, you know? I I do that. Like, like you talk about the park. My kids, man, they think they think it is a requirement that we go to the park at least twice a week. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:20

At least. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:21

You know, and I'll say we're gonna go to the park and we don't go to the park. And then at night before bed, around bedtime, and they they have a breakdown, but we didn't get to go to the park. And I'm like, oh yeah, you're right. We didn't go to the park. And I told them, and I told them we would, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

So before I became a parent, I didn't realize how often I'll I'll schedule three or four things at the same time, and then uh, you know, obviously you can only do one thing at a time and learn, okay, if I say I'm gonna do it, then I I gotta do it.

SPEAKER_02 42:50

You know, but then like on the like the balance of things, you know, how often does your kids or your wife believing in you push you forward to be a better person or to to do those extra things, you know, that that really need to be done. Like, I mean, I just I have story after story because if it wasn't for my kids and and my wife believing in me, dude, it'd be bad.

SPEAKER_01 43:19

You know, like no motivation to to yeah, I I understand because uh when you've only got one mouth to feed, uh, you know, it'd be pretty simple if if you just had to feed yourself and you know just pay rent for the cheapest place. But man, when you got, you know, especially in your case, five, six, seven people depending on you, man, that uh that can be that can really put the pressure on you. So having them um have that faith in you uh can be very motivating.

SPEAKER_02 43:56

No, yeah. And you know, like just to kind of wrap up that. Episode wrap up this episode, you know, at some point you just really have to stop living off of other people's faith in you and and really start you know figuring out your own foundation, you know, start believing yourself. You know, what what do you see yourself doing? Where do you see yourself wanting to be? Where do you see your family being with you? You know, like at some point you gotta quit doing it for other people, but uh do it for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 44:30

Yeah, exactly. And have having those goals too, you know, of where I want to be at this point and who do I want to be, not just you know, like you were saying, um what other people expect out of you, you know.

SPEAKER_02 44:50

Right, and and you know, I I do have I do have goals. I mean, I want to, you know, I want to be a superintendent someday. I want to be a I want to be a I don't want to say a principal anymore, I don't want that. But I I do I do want to be a director, you know, like so so I do have those goals that I'm I'm striving to get to and and it's it's nice because I think you and I both we have a good support system that will believe in us and that will push us to do better and yeah and and really help us and and give us a a firm foundation, you know, to get there. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_01 45:29

Did did you say uh did I see a post from you that you were on the school board now? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:34

Yeah, so I'm I am I'm on the middle school board. Um I had my first meeting this month. I I uh I kind of messed up. I was a little nervous giving my little oath, you know. Uh I and the the worst part was I I had to read it off of paper. Like if if they would have done the whole repeat after me thing, I probably could have done that. And I say that, I probably would have messed that up too. But I had to read it on the paper. So I have my I have my folder laid out on the desk, and I'm reading it, and I'm standing up, and I'm looking down. And for obviously you people that can't see us, I wear glasses. So when I'm looking down, I don't bend my head down. So I I have the line, the bottom part of my glasses that are like right there where I need to read. So I'm like nodding my head up and down, back and forth, trying to be C, you know? And and I'm starting to get nervous. I it's already hot in here. I'm you know, I'm a big guy, so I'm already instantly sweating because everybody in the room, you know, there's like 50 people in the room at the time because they we always do the student of the month presentation. Yeah, yeah. And uh, and I'm reading, so I'm getting nervous because I gotta read out loud, you know, like here I am. It don't matter how much education you have, yeah, you still gotta read out loud. You're like, uh uh, you know, and at the very end, I said it said United States and Oklahoma. And I'm sure you can imagine what I said, United States of Oklahoma. Well, I didn't notice it, but my wife was one of the faces in the crowd, and she just had a weird look on it. I didn't think nothing about it at the time. Well, of course, my wife being who she is, she records it. And I go back to listen to it, and sure and I was like, I think I said, I said I was like, I'm pretty sure I just said it fast. And I was like, I'm pretty sure I said United States and Oklahoma. She's like, I don't think so. So I went back and watched it, and sure enough, plain as day, United States of Oklahoma. And I was like, oh my gosh, way to go. Day one, already, already, you know.

SPEAKER_01 47:50

I guess you still got to prove, right?

SPEAKER_02 47:52

Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, deny you off the day. It it worked out good, but um, but yeah, so you know, the the last thing I I want to kind of to um leave with our you know our followers of zero right now, um is is is who's counting on you right now, and um are you carrying it the right way? You know, are you are you being a good example for your kid? Are you are you doing what's right in, you know, to your wife or to your husband? Um you know, are you doing right? You know, because it's easy to not do right. You know, it's really easy, it's easier not to do right than it is to do right. Sure. So that's that's why I'm are are you are you carrying it the right way? Are you, you know, are you going about it the right way? And and um yeah, so like I said, you know, it it was it was fun. Um it was nice kind of talking about faith. You know, like I said, I'm sure people thought we were gonna talk about our religious beliefs and stuff like that, but it was a different type of faith. And and there will be those times that we do talk about that faith. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:01

Yeah, well we covered it some. Yeah. So um so but uh uh, you know, when you said our view count is zero, surely at least we can we can have two fans. Yeah, so so maybe you and I would listen to you.

SPEAKER_02 49:15

You can double it by next week. Well, we need to double, we don't no, not double zero. Maybe I maybe I will start following us and you start following us, and we can double it by next week. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 49:25

Keep doing that. What is it like thir 30 weeks? You know, we should have a million or thirty.

SPEAKER_02 49:30

Yeah, yeah, we we keep that up. We should we should be good. So no, but it it was fun. So um, guys, I appreciate y'all you know tuning in, listening to us. Um, this was a longer, longer episode than we tend to usually do, but um, you know, I'm Josh. This is Britt, and uh, we're just two guys still trying to figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 49:49

Yep.