Teaching Patience the Hard Way

In this episode of Still Figuring It Out, we get real about one of the most frustrating parts of parenting… trying to teach your own kids.

Whether it’s homework, sports, or just simple everyday tasks, it can be tough when something that feels easy to you just doesn’t click for them. We talk about the pressure we put on our kids, the frustration we feel in the moment, and the reality that sometimes the problem isn’t them… it’s us.

From math struggles to life lessons, we share our own experiences of losing patience, learning from it, and trying to do better. At the end of the day, it’s not just about what we’re teaching… it’s how we’re teaching it.

If you’re a parent, you’ll definitely relate to this one.

We appreciate y’all listening. If you got something out of this, share it with someone who’s still figuring it out too. We’ll catch y’all next time.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

All right, welcome back to um episode three. Um, Britt, you know, we've done two episodes, and then here we are still figuring it out, and we're kind of rolling with it, you know. So it's been it's been a learning curve, but it's been a good one.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

Yeah, I think it's been pretty good so far. So I'm anxious to see how this uh third episode comes out for us.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

So today I kind of want to talk about um teaching our own kids things, you know, kind of being a dad.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Yeah, um that's a big struggle for me, uh, being able to teach my teach my daughter, man, really anything. Um I've especially learned, you know, things that were strong points for me when I was growing up. Not necessarily strong points for her, but uh it's a lot tougher than I thought being able to relay information over to my daughter that to me is just a given. Do you you feel like you have those same struggles?

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Um 100%. Uh, you know, I uh as a teacher, you know, you you teach these kids and you you expect these kids to struggle with certain things, but when it comes to your kids, you expect them to pick it up because you got it quick. You know, just I mean, just a simple topic like math. Well, I say simple, but people struggle with math, but I never really did struggle with math. And you know, my my daughter Riley, I mean, it's like pulling hair, you know. What hair I have will be on my face, but I don't have any on my head, you know. But like um teaching her just simple math that she just don't understand and get it, you know. But but there are things like reading and English and stuff like that that she she kills. But man, I say it's I mean, it's like we go to war and whenever we talk about math, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Yeah, I know it. You know, and a big thing with math too, nowadays they they teach kids so differently. I don't know if you've if you sit down with any of the teachers at like a conference, parent teacher conference or something, and seen the way they do it, or I don't know if Medil's any different than Sanger, but man, the way they show it doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah, so um, you know, how am I supposed to show her in the way that I know how to do it whenever she's learning something that's totally different off the wall from what I know? Um that makes it, you know, the struggle ten times harder, I think.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Yeah, why why do you think we do get so much more frustrated with our own kids than we do anybody else, really?

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Well, to be honest, I think um if if I'm teaching someone else's kid to in my mind, if they get it, they get it. If they don't, I mean, not that I don't want them to understand it, but if my child doesn't get it, it's like, no, we have to get it. And so I I think for me, that puts extra pressure on me. Like, oh, why are you not getting this? You have to understand this and start getting more pushy, where it's like, I know how to do this. I I why can't I explain it to you?

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Yeah, and and that's and that's that's the thing, is like you said, like I get it, why don't you get it? You know, but everybody's different. And and sometimes we do forget that. I mean, yeah, it's too easy for us two guys to sit here and and be able to say that now while nothing's going on, but like in the moment, you don't think about that. You don't think about, you know, your kids are different and they don't learn the same as you did, and you just assume that since they're your kids, they should get it just like you.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Yeah, and and of course, whenever I'm I'm trying to teach her something that's like, you know, if you're not understanding how to add seven plus eight, how are you ever gonna get multiplication and division? And then, you know, my mind's running with these hundreds of things that you're gonna have to learn after this. It's like, we've got to get this going right now because you still got to get caught up on, you know, whatever the next step is.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

And that's and that's how I, like I said, with Riley, that's how I feel with geometry. You know, I'm like, oh man, you should be getting this, you know. But again, you know, she it's it's hard for her, and and she works at it, you know, she does a good job of making sure she turns her stuff in and doing those things to try to learn, but sometimes it just don't happen. And and I've got to be okay with that, you know.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And, you know, just keep trying and keep trying and keep trying. And I think if you can show them that you are patient, I think they I think if you add that extra pressure to a child of, hey, you need to understand this right now, they're just gonna shut down on you 99% of them.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Yeah, and you know, you we keep bringing up patience and talking about patience. Uh and I laugh because whenever I think of patients, I think of my son's my oldest son, Steven, you know, because um losing patience with him is easy to do, you know, and and I don't know if it's because he reminds me so much of me, you know, but it like the things he says and the things he does, I'm like, that was me, but it gets aggravating because I'm a frustrating person to be around and live with, you know, and and I can only imagine how my wife feels half the time with having three of us because Riley's a lot of the same way as well, you know. And uh I and I feel like sometimes that's why we may bump heads a lot because we are so much of the same person. It's it's hard, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

Do you feel like your wife it has more patience than you?

SPEAKER_01 5:54

That's a given. She has patience for everybody except me. You know, uh, she really does. She has tons of patience, and and you know, again, she's human and she gets upset at times and and doesn't have that patience. But again, like we we all do, but you know, I was talking about losing patience, and I laughed because of Steven, you know. I would when he was in high school, man, he he's a good kid, I mean, from top to bottom, but you know, there were things that I would ask him to do something and he wouldn't do it. I would ask him again and he wouldn't do it. I would tell him he wouldn't do it. And you know, that after the third time or the fourth time, I finally would blow up and and then and then he would look at me like, why are you getting so mad? Why, why are you you know, why are you screaming at me, you know? But and it's like, well, I told I asked you the first two times, I told you the next two times, and I I feel like the only way you're gonna listen to me is if I blow up. Right. You know, so I would always lose my patience with him, but but you know, you could look at the cup half half full or half empty, but I also felt like I gave him plenty of chances to to do it. And and you know, there'll be some things that if he was sitting in this room with us talking to us right now, he would say, Yeah, I would I'd really push my limits on certain things, but there'd be some times where he'd be like, No, like you just blow up for no reason, you know, and and and that's probably true, but but I also feel like time after time after time, after you keep doing those things over and over and over, you realize that blowing up is the only way that they're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

So you may just go into blowing up on them and and they get it done right then because you blow up on them. So so you know.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

Yeah, you skip all the the first four practice runs of of trying to uh to show them. So did you have success uh for the blow up? Did did that did that work for you?

SPEAKER_01 7:58

Yeah, you know, and and it would usually because he would be like, oh, like no reason to get mad, you know, like which you ain't gonna scream at me, but he would go do it. And so yeah, it would work. One thing that I really never had a problem with telling Steven to do um would be the dishes. Dude, if I told that kid to do the dishes, man, if I told him to do the dishes, he would get it done.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Like I don't know any guy that would I mean I'd rather take out the trash a hundred times than than do the dishes once.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

Right? But you know, and there would be times that I'd be like, hey, I need to get the dishes done. He'd be like, all right, I'll get them here in a little while, you know, and and I would leave and I'd come back and he'd be doing the dishes. Now, he may have waited right until he's watched Live 360 and see me driving down Lilly, you know, but like he would he never really had a problem doing the dishes. Um, same with weedying, man. I I would mow my yard and Steven would weed eat, you know, like he never really had a problem weed eating. Now, cleaning the room, that's a totally different story. Man, that kid would go months without cleaning his room, but you know, and but like I said, I mean, you gotta give a little and take a little and give a little. So I choose your battles wisely, right? You know, and and for the most part, all of my kids, well, minus Jersey, will will somewhat pick up, you know, their stuff, you know, like Jersey, like that's his iPad right there on the floor.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

Yeah, you know, like so uh but at least only one out of three, you know, if they were all three that way, man, I think your house would be tore up.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

And you know, the girls enjoy cleaning, they they see their mom do it, and obviously they want to be just like their mom. And so when mom is cleaning, when mom is cleaning, we stay out of the way. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Oh yeah. I I can definitely relate to that, man. When I come home from work, and I mean I can just see in she didn't even have to be cleaning in the moment. I can just see in her eyes, and it's like, oh, she's cleaning. Like, hey, Gabby, you want to go to the park real quick? You know, let's get out of here for an hour or so. Let her let her get done and be out of her way. Uh but you know, I I think you've got a you might have a little more better setup as far as you know, infinity having patience. Um, because between the three of us, each one has less patience than the other. And I mean, you know, obviously that makes teaching a struggle because we'll both get frustrated at her. And, you know, she she'll I feel like she'll have her head in the clouds where, you know, she's not really trying. That's what I always put it on her when it's like, you know, I need to have more patience in trying to teach her and you know, letting her take the time to understand it. Um, but you know, we're definitely, whether or not we learn the math, the spelling, softball, whatever it is, we're definitely not gonna be able to teach her patience. Yeah. Because how can I teach her something that I don't know anything about?

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Well, no, and that's and that's the the truth, you know. But we're talking about schoolwork and stuff. Like last year, you know, we would beat our heads up against the wall trying to tell Riley, hey, turn your stuff in so you can get a grade. Because she had, well, at one time she had like 21 zeros in all of her classes combined. Now, granted, she had decent grades, and you know, I got mad at her having B's because I'm like, Riley, you had all these zeros, you have a B. Like, imagine if you didn't have all these zeros, you would have an A.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Even, yeah, even if you just turned them in and got 50% on them, how much.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

It's funny because I can see the growth in Riley like so much from last year to this year, you know. Like, I was in the school when she was a freshman, and I was still struggling with her turning in stuff, you know. But but this year, like just I mean, a couple weeks ago, we was talking about something, and she was like, you know, it is so much easier just doing your stuff and turning it in. And I'm like, wow, like I'm so glad that light went off in your head. You know, because now she she does have straight A's. And and you know, and if she has a B, it's okay if she has a B. I'm not upset about it because she's turning stuff in and trying. You know, that's where that's where I get upset. If if you have a B and you have that many zeros, I get mad. You know, do better. I mean, like I like I said, I've I was not a good student in high school. Obviously, college was different, but high school, I did not care, you know, and but I don't want my kids to do what I what I was doing in high school. Sure, you know, so so with her saying like life is so much more simple when I turn my stuff in. Like, is it like man, it's such a huge relief, you know, because because there would be times that I would lose my patience and I would get so upset and so angry and just you know just vomit of the mouth. Yeah, you know, and then I would feel so bad afterwards, you know, because they're my family, you know, even my wife, my kids, like when I would, when I get mad, I go on defense mode and I I say something stupid, you know? And and afterwards I'm just like, ah, geez, like was that really called for, you know? Right. And and so I do feel bad when I when I say certain things because I don't mean them, you know, but I I don't know what why. And and I I talked to plenty of guys about it, and you know, they they're all the same. Sure. You know, so I'm I'm not alone, but I don't I just don't know why why I said it to begin with, you know, and that's something that that I do feel bad afterwards, and you know, because and then there's times that I realize that it's not their fault. Yeah, you know, because I can't expect, like, well, you Steven, for example, the kid, he wants to be a construction guy. I mean, he's always enjoyed working outside, working with his hands. Um, but you know, if if I throw him a tape measure, which now he's gotten better at it, but you know, when I originally throw him a tape measure, I'd say, what is it? And he'd be like, Well, it's 11, and he had to count the lines, and I'm like, dude, like, are you dumb? Like, you know, I would never say that, but I'm just like, Can you not read a tape measure? But of course he can't. Nobody's ever taught him. You know, so I can't just assume that he can he can know how to do something if he's never been taught. Yeah. You know, if you tell your kid to go get you a um, you know, a flathead screwdriver and they're like a Phillips, you know, and you've never showed him the difference, you can't get mad at them because I mean they're just ignorant on the subject. They've never been taught that.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Yeah, and and I'm probably even worse than you, as far as like you said on the tape measure, and it's it's like if if you're doing them like that, you know, maybe they're maybe they're afraid to fail in front of you. So, you know, it really uh puts extra pressure on them. I was gonna ask you a question with Riley. So you said something about she had like 21 zeros. Do you think it's like a case of her not doing the work, or is she just doing the work and not turning it in? Bam.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

Exactly. You know, like that's exactly what she would do. She would do the work and it'd be in her backpack. I'm like, Riley Ann.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

What are you doing? You know, like so, but uh so maybe she's maybe at some point she was afraid to to fail and and would rather just get the zero and not have done it than like ah, you know, I think this is a 50% work. Why even turn it in? I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

But but she would say she would forget to turn it in, you know. Well it's so important that you get sidetracked when the teacher says, ah, turn your assignments in, like they don't click, you know, and that's and that's you know, that's why now I try to tell myself, you know, it's new to them, it's not new to you. You know, like they're learning, you know, like they're not they're not failing, they're just they're learning.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

Yeah, that that's a good way of putting it.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

And that's and and you know, we we all learn differently. Like, and that's that's something that I've always got to rem remind myself, and and uh, and you know, the biggest thing I gotta remind myself was I was a kid once. I I mean I've been there at one point in my life, you know, whether it be not doing assignment, not turning assignment in, not listen to my parents, not take out the trash when I was told to, you know, just those things, like I've been there. I mean, on some of those chores, I I'm still there. You know, I still and my wife told me to do something, I don't do it.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

Right. And and you know, her strong points aren't necessarily going to be your strong points. Um, she might excel in stuff that you weren't as good at. You you may not have to, you know, she might already be past your knowledge on on history or or whatever the case is, and you and you know, kind of take that for granted that you don't even really have to teach her on that, but then the stuff that you were good at that she's not good at, you know, can be extra frustrating. Um, you know, when really it's like, well, you know, you only got to teach this this half of it, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Yeah, so can you think of a time that you uh may have been in a situation where you either handled it well or the times that you handled it better than you thought you would?

SPEAKER_00 17:56

Um, not really. Uh I feel like I I usually end up, you know, at the end of a teaching session with her, I end up thinking, man, there's a lot of ways I could have done that better. Um, you know, there's probably a few. There are some times where I went into it thinking, okay, let's just take our time, let's figure out where the struggle is, you know, and we come, we come back again to patience. And I don't know, maybe that needs to be the title or or something of this one somehow. But uh yeah, I mean, if you if you I feel like if I have patience with her, don't push her. I feel like she's good in like 20-minute spurts, and then she needs probably, you know, a good 10 minutes to reset at least before we get back into it. You know, two or three of those 20-minute sessions at max, you know, in a day, I feel like that's the most success I've had with her.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Yeah, I, you know, I we was talking earlier and and we you said brought up softball, and I was thinking of um Ivy. So Jersey is he's pretty solid little athlete for three. You know, I mean he can he can dribble a ball, he can shoot a ball on a you know, a nine-foot goal, he can he can do a lot of things that a three-year-old can't. I mean, he can um take a soccer ball on a goal and he'll run and try, but man, Ivy, wow, it wore me out. Uh and you know, so they're they're playing soccer this year. Ivy and Jersey's playing soccer.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

This is the first first year they're playing. First year. How much do you know about soccer?

SPEAKER_01 19:41

Zero. I know offsides, I know, I know team USA, you know, like I mean, I know what the positions are, the forward, the defender, I know those things, but like I don't know enough to coach it.

unknown 19:54

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

You know, so so Jersey's playing um three you and Ivy's playing four you. Um, they just dump a bunch of balls out on the soccer field for Jersey and they just go kick them.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

You know, and it's it's it's fun. But the good thing about it is I've been a coach for so long. I can be a dad. And I can just cheer and clap and just tell him good job. And you know, but with with Ivy, so that first week, man, it was it was a little cold. It was a little little damp, rainy, it rained, you know, earlier that morning, but it was just cold, man. The wind was blowing hard. Uh Jersey went out and he kicked the ball a million times, scored a million times. Um, and then we waited around for Ivy's game, and it was the exact opposite. She cried the whole time. She's still on the field, she was just kind of saying she was cold, she didn't want to move or run. The ball was being kicked past her. And I'm like, just put your foot out and just touch it, you know? Something, just do something. Right. And and um I want to say I I handled it better than I thought I would, you know. I was I felt bad because my baby girl was cold. But it was funny because she was doing nothing. All the other kids were running around and she was just sitting there pounding and crying. And but I mean, I was just like, hey, you know, and I man, this is when I think I handled it well. I was like, hey, we'll go buy you something. Like, if you just run, I'll go buy you a toy. I'll you know, I'm bribing. I'm I'm just trying, like, baby, if you will just move a little bit, you will warm up and it'll be a lot better. Well, that never happened. She ride the entire time. And I told, I look over my wife, and my wife is stressed. My wife is so competitive, man. Infinity is just like, I don't know why we did this. I mean, I mean, she I'm just like, maybe it's cold, you know. It she was, I mean, she wasn't. Bad, you know? And I told her, I said, Well, we'll try it again next week. If she does better, she can play. If not, we'll just put um Jersey in her jersey and let him play for her, you know. Cause I was like, Yeah, um, I mean, if we already paid for it, might as well get our money's worth, you know. At least at least Jersey will run around and get the ball. I mean, he's he's bigger than they are anyway, you know, so he's definitely more physical, so it would be okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

But but uh just being able to be a dad and just sit there and just clap and cheer and you know, just right holler for instead of being so stressed out being a coach like, hey, we've gotta do this, we've got to do this.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

Yeah, I I never thought of it that way, actually using your lack of knowledge in soccer to your advantage, because you know, if if it was a sport you knew or or coached, like football, baseball, you I don't know if you'd as easily be able to just be a dad because you know, you know the game well enough that uh you're automatically in that coach mode.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

Yeah, and and that and that's the thing is you know they have they have Jersey has two high school boys that's coaching them, you know, and and they're they're good soccer players, so they get the game. And then uh Ivy's team has one of the girls' dads, DJ, he's a football coach here, and he's super involved, you know, but uh he understands the game and I mean he does these little drills with them and plays games with them, and and he's kind of what they need. I mean, he'll get out there and play with them and kick the ball from them, you know, just kind of have fun. And so it's it's good because I didn't want to run a sport for my kids because I am so competitive and you know that's when I look back, that's kind of how I I was towards um Steven, you know. Yeah, like he would say he had a great game, but we started watching feeling like, oh, did you see this? Oh man, you should have done this. Ah, that's not very good. Ah, you gotta run harder, you know, and and he knew that I loved him and he knew that I he did great, you know, yeah and I tell him that he did good, but I'd also sometimes not tell him good job enough. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

So and didn't he didn't he break some records at the deal?

SPEAKER_01 24:17

He broke a few school records, you know. He has um the receiving touchdowns, receiving yards, receptions. I mean, he's um any of the receiving ones, I mean, he'd done them all. You know, I mean, the kid had five catches for five touchdowns in one game.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

Whew, you know, like can't get no praise from his dad, though.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

Yeah, and but you know, but but like I said, I I there was there would be times that I would I would not be as nice, you know. I mean, obviously I would tell him he did a great job, you know, because he he would do a great job.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

But there were times that I felt like he could do better. But again, that goes back to the coaching, me and and just wanting what's best for him and thinking that I know best, which at times I can think that, but I don't.

SPEAKER_00 25:04

Right. Yeah, we had a preacher one time that told me that he said his dad, anytime he would give praise, he would always follow it with a butt, you should have done this or could have done that. And uh, you know, I think uh I think there's some type of fulfillment you never hit with trying to please your dad when that's the case, and they don't really get any full praise out of you, you know.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

So And I I do the same thing with with Riley, you know, she's she's a phenomenal singer. I don't know if you ever heard her sing or anything, but the girl can sing. And I didn't know she could sing until about two years ago, you know, because I just never she never really sang out loud or anything, but but um she can sing and and and sometimes she'll sing the national anthem at a game or something, and and she'll be like, ah, I didn't do very good. I I felt like I was, I don't know, something music-wise. I couldn't tell you everything about music, but but I'm like, ah, I mean, it was okay, you know, instead of me, why like why would I say it was okay? Right, you know, like that's kind of a a tool way of saying it. Oh, it's uh, you know, like why would I not say, hey, like you did great, you know? But I would just kind of fall into that agreeing with her. When I thought she did great, I didn't notice a dare, I mean, I didn't notice a mess up or anything like that, but but I need to be more encouraging, you know, um, yeah, instilling that confidence in them and not and not just trying. So what I'm trying to say is I'm always trying to teach them, you know, skills of some sort. Right. When I really need to be teaching, you know, patience and confidence and and how to respond to frustration. You know, and so and that's and that's a big one, you know, because Riley, Riley is hurting herself, you know, and and I need to be teaching her how to, you know, be encouraging. Well, it could have gone worse, right? You know, so so I need to work on that. And I don't, I mean, I may be the only dad that does that.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

I don't know, but no, I understand that. Um, you know, and with with Ivy, what you were saying, you know, it sounds like she has some humbleness about her that it's not like just a full-on brag, you know, from her, like, oh, you know, uh, you know, Riley? Oh, was it Riley that was that was so good at singing? Yeah, it's Riley, yeah. Oh, Riley, okay. I may I guess I got confused there. Um but you know, it sounds like she has some humbleness about her that uh, you know, some people anytime they do something, they think they're the very best at it and they're gonna let everybody know. Um and so, you know, that that's another plus I think is is uh but you know, from your end, whenever she does say that and you didn't really feel that way, yeah, I agree with you. Probably probably, you know, better to to come at her like, you know, no, I I th I think you did a great job, you know.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

I I do like that you didn't you don't brag on yourself that much, but uh Yeah, and and like there is no way they'd get me out there to sing in front of all those people.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

No, that's one thing I wouldn't do.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

You know, like she gets up on that stage and she will sing in front of all those people, and it's scary, you know, like it would be scary doing it in front of a crowd, but doing it in front of your peers, like this right here, what we're doing now is probably scary enough for me, and yeah, we don't have like a live audience, you know.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

Right. We could put it out and I don't have to listen to myself speak. But man, being up in front of people and and something about singing, like I could do some speaking in front of people, not a little out of my comfort zone, but singing, man, that's that takes uh that takes something I don't have to be able to do.

SPEAKER_01 28:58

No, yeah, and and that and that's why I do think that our reactions matter a lot more than than the lesson we're trying to teach. You know, that's why I think we need to come at it with that patience and with that loving heart of encouragement, not just trying to, ah, you could have done this, you could have done that, you know.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

Just trying to complete a task. Yeah, exactly. And check a box and letting them know you're proud of them and and uh you know appreciate what they're trying to do. And maybe we need to work a little harder or focus a little more here and there, but having constant criticisms and and negatives, I think can have a real a real negative impact on them.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

And I, you know, and what not just with our our children, but I I think that also ties into our everyday life. Oh, absolutely. With um how things happen at work or you know, some things in our relationship, you know, with our wives. Like, I think being that rock, you know, that that consistent person that's there, that's loving, that's encouraging, that's motivating, like we all want it. Right, you know, so why would we not do it for others? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Yeah, exactly. And I mean also, you know, the people you hang out with, if if you go, let's say, walking with someone or or go to the weight room, man, if you're around someone that's always negative and and just always, oh, hurting or or whatever, man, that that really that really has an impact on on my mindset than makes me negative and I and I bring it out towards towards my family and other people.

SPEAKER_01 30:43

No, that's that's exactly right. And that's and that's why I think we need to um, you know, I think this this next week, I'm going to really try to be more encouraging. You know, not just not just to my kids, but to everyone. I'm gonna try to to um be I don't know the word I'm looking for, um just positive. Yeah, just positive. Yeah, you know, and and uh maybe even you know try to give each person in my house a compliment. You know, just a a random compliment. You know, my wife used to we used to do something, we don't do it much anymore, but when she first started coming around, you know, somebody would say something mean or not nice or whatever it may be to somebody else, and she would make us say three nice things about them, you know. Um, I mean, maybe we need to bring that back, you know. Like if I was like, oh my gosh, like who being dumb? Oh, I gotta say, you know, you're you're a smart person, you're you know, you're a hard worker, and I don't know, it's hard to think of three things, you know. Like, so I need to work on it. Maybe I need to start off with two things and then maybe work my way up to three. But but we used to do that, and it was it was just funny because Steve Steven loved hearing three nice things about it, you know.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

So any anything he can find negative, you said boy.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

Oh, yeah, and I wouldn't have three nice things.

SPEAKER_00 32:17

And then then in the middle of your three, you're throwing another negative, like, man, I gotta give him 12 compliments.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

Right, but but no, so you know, so maybe throughout your week this week, try to try to be more encouraging and and maybe do what I just said and just uh try to go with uh two nice things for now.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Sure, I like that. Let's yeah, I'll focus on that too and see if any any changes or you know anything positive comes about it.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

Yeah, so um I guess that'll wrap up this episode, but um, I guess um, you know, thank y'all for listening. And you know, I'm Josh and this is Britt, and uh we're still trying to figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 32:55

Yep, thank you.