Still Figuring It Out Podcast
We don’t have it all figured out… and that’s the point. Josh and Britt talk real life, real struggles, and real wins when it comes to marriage, parenting, and everything in between.
Still Figuring It Out Podcast
Teaching What We’re Still Learning
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This week on Still Figuring It Out, Josh and Britt dive into one of the hardest parts of parenting: discipline. But the conversation quickly turns into something bigger.
How do we teach our kids self control when we’re still working on it ourselves?
From homework, consequences, and cleaning bedrooms to patience, consistency, and leading by example, we talk honestly about what discipline looks like in our homes. We share stories about raising kids with different personalities, the importance of accountability, and why discipline is about training, not punishment.
Along the way, we also discuss marriage, family routines, funny parenting moments, and the reality that we’re all still growing, just at different stages of life.
Whether you’re a parent, preparing to become one, or simply trying to become more disciplined yourself, we hope this conversation encourages you to keep learning, keep leading, and keep showing up.
As always, we’re just two dads… still figuring it out.
We appreciate y’all listening. If you got something out of this, share it with someone who’s still figuring it out too. We’ll catch y’all next time.
Welcome back to another week of Still Figuring It Out. I'm Josh with my co-host Britt. Well, we made it to another week. Yep. We're still going strong. So Yeah. So real fast, you know, we we had our podcast last week, which came out on Father's Day. But, you know, being a father, I mean, we we kind of forget about ourselves sometimes. Right. You know, and you know, we want we want to wish all the fathers, and Britt, I want to wish you a happy Father's Day. I mean, even though we're late, you know. Yeah, you too. Happy, happy, happy late Father's Day.
SPEAKER_03But it wasn't even that we just forgot to say happy Father's Day, we forgot to uh title the the episode. Yeah. We forgot to put it out in time.
SPEAKER_02We just totally uh So what what y'all don't know is after every episode, you know, Britt and I, we we talk about, you know, the title, we talk about, you know, just certain things about the episode, and we did not do any of that last week. Literally, we were just, I don't know, we were just moving along through our day and didn't even think about it. And Britt's wife's the one that even said something about it, I think, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So of course it's funny. Because I mean we're we're both probably thinking about Father's Day and our plans, and you know, we just finished up and wrapped it up and left. And Yeah, and and you know, texted me after I left, like, hey man, I don't even think we uh Yeah, we don't even have Yeah and Father's Day.
SPEAKER_02Well, and and more importantly, we didn't even upload the episode. You know? So like I was I was running around trying to get that done before church and which granted we we got it done. I mean, we got it, we got it all taken care of. You know, we we titled in nobody, you know, nobody even said, hey, messaged us and said, hey, you know, you're gonna open that episode this week or anything like that.
SPEAKER_03So Which could be a good sign or a bad sign.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, I mean, and you know, and surprisingly, we're able to track our our views and our downloads. So, so people are still listening and we we appreciate that. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know, we don't get paid anything for it or anything like that, but we just enjoy doing it and and it's it's it's nice to hear, you know, people say, Hey man, I heard your podcast this week is really good, you know. Yeah, I related because that honestly happens more times than not, you know. I'm I'm kind of shocked.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. There's there's several people reached out to me that I wouldn't have ever thought would show any interest, or people I'd kind of know, but not.
SPEAKER_02I'll tell you, I'll tell you a funny one is is I've had a couple women say, you know, say, hey, I I enjoy your podcast.
SPEAKER_03Probably at least half of them that have reached out to me. And that is real surprising too.
SPEAKER_02It's pretty cool, you know, because we we did, we had every intention and plan of this podcast just being for us guys, you know. Like we thought it was gonna be a a dad podcast, a guy's podcast. But again, like I said, it's kind of shocking how many women have reached out and said, hey, you know, I heard last week's episode super good, it's super relatable for my husband. I'm like, oh, cool.
SPEAKER_03You know, I've listened to and it makes sense. I mean, there's been times I've listened to a woman's podcast just to get the insights from their point of view. So No, for sure.
SPEAKER_02I could I honestly I I can't say I have listened to a woman's podcast, but I mean, I could honestly see if I seen one pop up that had a a title that maybe I be might be going through in a certain life with my wife or my my daughters that I would probably hop on and listen to, you know. So but yeah, so like I said, dad, some happy late Father's Day. We appreciate you, and I'm sure your families do too. Oh, yeah, absolutely. So, so uh how was your week?
SPEAKER_03Pretty good, man. Just you know, been working. Took Gabby up to Tulsa to stay with some family up there, so she should be up there a few days and nothing else new really.
SPEAKER_02Just same old, same old kid, kid free time a little bit. Yeah. We had our little ones go stay with their gaga a couple days this past week and and Infinity and I, which, you know, on it was on Wednesday and Thursday night, but Infinity and I were able to go go grab dinner, just the two of us, and just sit down and just, you know, enjoy a meal just us because, you know, Riley and Stephen, they're old enough to kind of hang out with themselves or do their own thing. I mean, it was after church Wednesday night and and you know, they, you know, Riley, she always goes with Steven. Anytime Steven's around, you know, they kind of they hang out quite a bit, honestly. And it is nice. But but yeah, so they kind of went and did their own thing. So I was like, hey, let's go get something to eat. So we drove over to Tisch, went to the Snapper Shack, and you know, I I had some oysters and watched a little bit of Mexico soccer. Yeah, it's it's it's not a bad place. It really is good. So that was our first time to ever go. Oh really? Yeah, and it's been there for a couple years, but but no, we like I said, it was just nice to be able to just kind of just the two of us and just and just talk and and you know, just have that time together. Yeah. So that was I'd have seven other people there. So hopefully, hopefully y'all are y'all are able to do that, you know, a little bit this week. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we've been able to do that. I I do start missing her pretty quick.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, I no, I agree with that. I agree with that.
SPEAKER_03You know, of course, as soon as she gets back, I'll be like, oh you go back.
SPEAKER_02Should have stayed a little longer. No, man, me and Infinity, you know, like I I told you, we we try to go, we every, you know, like I said, you I told you the 777 rule that we try to do. We do a date night every every seven days, or uh, and then you know, a little weekend getaway every seven weeks, and then every seven months we try to go on a just a week vacation, you know, and and luckily we had the support system around that we can do that. And and every time that we we go on vacation, man, like we miss them. You know, like like this last one we went on by ourselves. Well, yeah, the last one we went on by ourselves, not the last one we went on, but we went to Europe. You know, we was in Europe for nine days, and man, day three, you're just like, man, I wonder what Jersey's doing. Or I wonder if any and I be fighting. I wonder, you know, like you just start, you're just like, man, and being over there, you know, the time difference is so, so wonky, you know, because that's true. They're eight and nine hours ahead of us. So whenever it's six or seven o'clock in the afternoon here where they can call, you know, we're looking at four or five in the morning there, or or I, yeah, well, three or four in the morning there. So they can't call us, but when we wake up, we wake up at seven in the morning, it's ten o'clock at night here, and our kids are probably asleep because they're younger, you know. So it's just it's hard to get to talk to them and and you miss them. Like now, if you go to Mexico or something like that, tame time zone, it's not bad. But man, especially for mom. Mom, you can tell mom just walks around, you know, just like, man, I wish my kids were here. So, but yeah, no, I do understand that because it is they're easy to miss, you know. Once once they get older, they're they're a little harder to miss because Steven moved off and I was like, man, I'm gonna miss him being around, you know. But golly, he calls me five times a day every day, you know, and you're like, man, he don't give me a chance to miss him, you know? So So it's it is, you know, there's always those. But when they're little, you know, maybe from well, babies to 12, you know, you you miss them more because they they don't have cell phones a lot of times and they can't just call you whenever. Like, like Riley, she can call me whenever she wants. You know, and that's so whenever she's, you know, at her mom's house or something, she can call me whenever, and and it's it's nice, you know, because I can talk to her, I I can shoot her text right now and she'll text me back, you know. But the little ones if if somebody's not around with the phone, I can't I can't talk, you know what I mean? So like it's just I don't know, it's hard. The smaller they are, it's hard.
SPEAKER_03So I guess Yeah, until they start drive when they start driving, especially that's when they're kind of doing their own thing.
SPEAKER_02And that's kind of the the phase Riley is in her life right now, which she can't drive full time by herself yet because don't have a driver's license, but she gets it, you know, in a couple weeks, and I probably won't ever see her again after that. She'll be gone, she'll be gone all the time, you know. I might see her right before bed or right before it's time to come home and then right before she leaves for school, you know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But she she stays busy with with music and church. She's she's really hooked up in church and really involved. So I mean, I I do I'm lucky enough to be able to I don't say lucky, I'm blessed enough to be able to help out a lot. I have a job that gives me the freedom to be able to help, so I get to do things with her, so that's nice. But but yeah, so the week we was pretty good, you know, no Gabby, so kind of got to have a lone time with your wife, which is always not right. That's good. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So about you, how'd your week?
SPEAKER_02It was good. I you see in the backyard, you see the building. Yeah, yeah. I saw the building. So it's it's it's here, man. I'm excited. We've got we've got to get somebody to come out and uh put electrical electricity in it. And and when they when they set it, they set it a little crooked. They set it with the the build, like the the shed in the back, so it's crooked. I noticed that. Yeah. That's my fault. I should have been I should have been more on top of it and watching them do it.
SPEAKER_03Did it need it to be a little closer to the house too?
SPEAKER_02Well, not not too much because I wanted on that fence line. Oh, okay. I wanted it straight with the house and not with the the quite the fence, because it like I said, when you look at it from the backyard, it looks crooked. It's straight with the fence. You know, but we're on this, we're on this curve on this corner, so our house kind of sits at an angle. And I wish they had a like, oh yeah, I can tell your house is crooked compared to the building. Why wouldn't we just scoot it up and square it up with the house? But they didn't do that. But I mean, you know, it is what it is. But Andrew Adams is gonna come out Monday or Tuesday, he's gonna straighten it up for me and fix it that way. That's that's cool. It's squared away, and and then the next step would be electricity. I'm hoping I can get all this done this week. Steven went to Lowe's. He's going and he's getting ready to fix the building. You know, he's he's in construction mode and all about building. We I went, so hey, I went to real fast, you know, gonna give give these guys a shout-out because they they were awesome. It was 40. Hang on, let me let me just go look because I don't want to mess it up because I I mean I would hate to give somebody a shout-out and then it'd be completely wrong. These guys at 48 North. That's it's a building, it's a building materials place, man. It's it's pretty cool. It's like a T.H. Rogers is out of Sherman.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02Dude, so you know, we gotta we're insulating the building because we're gonna make it a legit, like a room, you know. So we're doing it like it would a house. And and man, I went to go get insulation for the other day, yesterday, and I went to Lowe's, and what I needed insulation-wise, was gonna cost me a little over, a little over 600 bucks. I was like, man, that's expensive for insulation. Oh, at least I thought it was. And then I started looking around.
SPEAKER_03It was I was gonna say that's not bad.
SPEAKER_02And then it was about normal. Hey, so I went and got the same insulation, the same exact insulation that I was gonna get at Lowe's. That was it was $78 a roll. Like a, you know, I ended up getting it for $45 a roll, the same exact brand, the same exact size, the same exact everything for $45 a roll. Like I ended up saving like $350.
SPEAKER_03Is it uh someone that we know that runs the business?
SPEAKER_02It ain't nobody that I've ever met before, man. But I went out there, I drove after work, I drove to Sherman, and they even stayed open late to help me out because I called and told them I was I was gonna come. They stayed open past hours and waited on me. I got there, they loaded it up for me. And I mean, it was super cheap, super easy, and I was like, man, like I really appreciate it. So if you're building something and you need, you know, you're you're on a budget or whatever it may be, man, call those guys at 48 North because they are they are great. I mean, like I said, I mean, it's 903-718-1852. Like, I'm sold on these guys. The free advertising. Oh, yeah, man, because like I said, those guys helped me out. They were so friendly. And, you know, like right now I'm actually messaging a guy about about the sheetrock because he, like I said, man, he was super helpful and and did everything I I could have asked for. So I'm definitely gonna use those guys more because I've got to, you know, I've got to do some things around the house because for the building, you know. So, but yeah, so but Steven, he's he's heading to Lowe's right now to go get some stuff that he may need or things he needs for this building because he's he's gung-ho, man. He's already got a materials list and he's he's all about it. So And I'm all about it because he's all about it. So but yeah, so yeah, that was my week. I mean, got the building and yeah.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I walked in and and I I mean I already saw how clean it was, and I'm like, man, either Infinity's been home or Steven hasn't, and Steven's sitting right there.
SPEAKER_02So you must have made it back home and well we we did we did some some homemade pizzas last night. So that you kind of see some p pans over there in the corner. That ain't having pans out, ain't it but we yeah, we made some homemade pizzas, it was fun. The kids love it. So we get these like the croissant dough, you know, that you buy at Walmart, and we just kind of cut up three pieces and they they get to smash it with their hands, and they get to put the cheese the sauce on it and the cheese, and and uh they they enjoy making them. It's like a little personal pan.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And they they enjoy them. So that's what we did. But so, okay, enough about my week and and your week. What do you think about discipline? Let's talk about some discipline this week. You know, maybe maybe what's the first thing that comes to mind whenever whenever you hear the word discipline?
SPEAKER_03The first thing that comes to mind is probably the definition that discipline is not is punishment. Yes is the first thing that I think of. Even though it's not it's not necessarily, you know, they might intertwine at some point, but they're not really the same. You know, for me Well, let me ask you this. When whenever you realized you were gonna have Riley, at what point did you start thinking about discipline and and how I want my child to be raised and the type of home?
SPEAKER_02Well, so that that's a hard question because and I'll tell you why, is because I was so young. Yeah. See, that's the difference. I didn't I didn't think about that. I didn't all I all I thought about was I was gonna be a I was gonna be a dad. I was excited to be a dad. You know, I've always wanted to be a dad, because I you know, like I told you in the past episode, I didn't have a dad. You know, so so being being able to get to be a dad, I was juice. So basically I was like, hey, if my kid wants to do something, I'm gonna let her do it, you know. Right.
SPEAKER_03Because again, I was 22 years old. I was And so I I'm sure we had all been told by by people that we would consider mentors to, you know, how discipline may and may not work, but I I would be just like you. I wouldn't have listened at that age. But I was fortunate enough, you know, I didn't become a dad until I was in my 30s. I'd I did have a guy one time tell me, you know, it's not a one size fits all. Just because someone else does it their way, you know, it may not work for you. And he said, don't spank your kids while you're angry.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And that's something I told you. I do believe in. Absolutely. I do believe in that. Absolutely, you know.
SPEAKER_03So, you know, I go, I go back and forth on it, you know, uh as Gabby gets older and and changes, I think different things I think being able to take something away from her that that's important is is probably key, you know, whether it's she wants to play on her tablet or you know, putting her in timeout. And if something's extreme enough, you know, we'll spank it. But it's not something I've necessarily solved, you know, figured out the the perfect recipe for.
SPEAKER_02So it you know, kind of always changing as as far as it's something that you may one day learn is each kid is different. You know, like Stephen, I had to get physical with Stephen. Take, you know, like I had to get physical with him because that's the only way he's gonna learn. That makes sense. But Riley taking away something that she wants to do.
SPEAKER_03You know, that's that's probably especially tough for her because it seems like she really likes things that are church related, and that's not really something that you could just take away.
SPEAKER_02And that's something that like that is that is a never an option. Right. That's one thing that we will never take away. I mean, I I mean, I'd be I'd be a fool. Right. You know, if I if I said, Riley, you didn't get your room clean, you're not going to church. No way. Right. Like, that's crazy. And and any parent that does do that, please reconsider that because that's the one thing that that every person needs is is God.
SPEAKER_03Whether you go to church or not. Yeah. You know.
SPEAKER_02Well, and my thing is, I don't even I don't even want to put that in their head that that wrong and church is in the same category. Like I don't want I don't want to put those together. I don't ever want to put sin and and church in the same, in the same box. You know what I mean? Like just because you do wrong doesn't mean you don't get to go to church. Like, like you do wrong, you're not gonna go hang out with your friends. You do wrong, you're not gonna have your cell phone. You do wrong, you're not gonna go out and to the football game or the basketball game. Like that's that is okay.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's a good point. You do wrong, you should still be able, you know, you should still be able to pray or go to church. Exactly.
SPEAKER_02And I just And I've I've never I've never been for taking your kid away from God, you know.
SPEAKER_03And I I didn't mean get you off track, but so yeah, you know that she likes that. Yeah. But I you know, I assume that uh discipline with her would be probably quite a quite a bit more challenging.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so so Riley, you know, like I told you, you know, last week, week before, talking about her schoolwork and how she would she would do her homework where she just wouldn't turn it in, or she just had zero, you know. So one year I was like, okay, this is what we're gonna do. Y'all have so many zeros, y'all want to have zeros. We we travel, we enjoy traveling, we love traveling. So guess what? If you have zeros, you're not going on vacation. And and by golly, guess what? Riley one time, didn't get to go on a vacation and sing with Steven. They've both missed the vacation because they were fine with having zeros. And again, I'm okay if you have a C or a B and you've turned all your stuff in. But when you have a C and a B or a B and you have nine zeros, that's unacceptable. Right. That's unacceptable. And I wish I had that discipline whenever I was younger. I didn't I didn't have that. You know, like I said, my mom was constantly working, so I didn't get pushed as hard as I should have been pushed, you know. And I mean, you went to school with me. I I didn't care. If I got to play baseball, I didn't care. Like I mean, it's all I was worried about. I mean, I would have, you know, one of the teachers or one of the girls give me their work and I would just I would do it that way. Like I didn't care, you know, but but again, and that and that was it was hard for me, you know, telling my kids they didn't get to go on vacation. Because it happened two different times. One vacation we went on without Steven, and everybody got to go except Stephen, and he was upset about it. And then, you know, why me? And then the same with the very next year, Riley. I mean, why don't why don't I get to go? Why me? Why'd it gotta be me? You know, and then of course she used the well, Steven didn't have, but Steven did. I mean, Stephen can tell you that he had to he had to stay home, you know, and and one year when we went on vacation. So, but you know, and it's hard. It's hard watching your kids cry, it's hard watching your kids be upset.
SPEAKER_03Do you feel okay, so when you let them know that they weren't gonna be going on vacation, do you feel like they at least understood that it was their fault, or do you feel like it was Well, so yeah, kind of yes and no.
SPEAKER_02So the thing is, is they knew the rule before I ever told them they weren't gonna go on vacation.
SPEAKER_03Okay, that definitely helped.
SPEAKER_02So they knew it was but it was like, ah, it's my dad, he's a pushover. He'll he'll let me go. Right. You know that feeling. So they, I mean, they a hundred percent thought they were gonna get to go, even though I told them that was the rule. And here's the thing is if it wasn't for infinity, I might have been a pushover, you know. But but she holds she holds me accountable just as well as much as I hold the kids accountable.
SPEAKER_00Sure.
SPEAKER_02I mean, and we need that, you know. I mean, as men, as as as husbands, as as parents, we need to be held accountable just as much as we as we hold our kids accountable. And we're gonna get into that here in a little bit, you know. But but but yeah, so like I said, they they knew that they weren't gonna get to go before I ever told them, hey, I told you, y'all just chose not to listen, so y'all aren't going. And so they they knew that, you know. So again, of course they both got upset, which Steven just got mad and wanted to fight everybody. Well, if it's not me, because I'd have, you know, I'd have probably punched him. But but like, well, I probably wouldn't have punched him, but you know what you know what I'm saying. I mean, but like Riley, she just cried and and it's you know, it's always her and you know, that's kinda how she is. And I'm like, Rabbi, come on, you're okay. But but like well, Riley, you know, whenever we would take her cell phone away or something like that, that doesn't phase her. It doesn't. It and it's weird. Steven, Stephen might get a little mad you take his cell phone away. Riley? Riley doesn't care. Like, she's like, whatever. And like, I mean, we take our phone a month, two months at a time sometimes, and it was more of an inconvenience for us than it was for her. Right. You know, because now I can't get a hold of my kid.
SPEAKER_03Like but And I'll I ask you that because I'm afraid it if I get in that situation when Gabby gets older, I'm probably gonna be looking at the same things I'm looking at now, where it's like, you know, confront her about something she did, okay. She's either gonna deflect, change the subject, blame someone else.
SPEAKER_02Oh, oh yes, it's always somebody, it's always somebody else.
SPEAKER_03It's always stuff like that. And I have to really pin her down into saying, you know, this is what you did, this is the consequences for what you did. Do you understand? Yeah, you know, and and and but then you know, tomorrow we're doing it again. Again. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's it's funny you say that because I literally thought of Riley because, dude, it's so funny. Because hey, you can catch Riley doing something. Like she'll be on camera, and that girl will be like, I didn't do it. Same.
SPEAKER_00I didn't do it.
SPEAKER_03I could and I could film it and I could show her, and she'd tell me that I edited that video. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, and I'm just like, Riley, baby, come on, man. You know, like it's got you written all over it. Like, you've done it before. You know, and this is the same girl that man, and I I thought her mom was gonna kill her. She just got in her mom's bathroom and went and went and just cut up her contacts. Like, why? Just cut up her contacts. Like, what are you doing, child? You know, like, but yeah, I mean, you know, she and she, don't get me wrong, Riley is a great kid. She is an amazing kid. She loves God. She she tells people about God all the time, you know, like, but she does those certain things that you just laugh at. You know, you look back and you're like, what are you doing? And you know, I bet I'm I'm sure her mom, her mom would probably even laugh now, like, what was what were you thinking? You know, like what was you thinking? But um, but yeah, it's it's funny, you know. I mean, kids again, going back is each kid has to be disciplined different. You know, and I'm and with with the twins and with Jersey, we're still trying to figure out the correct way to discipline them because again, the kids are different. You know, they just each kid's different. I know how to discipline Riley now, I know how to discipline Steven now. Now, granted, Steven's 22. I was gonna say, yeah, and I don't have to discipline him, but but with Steven now, it's different because he has grown, he is a man, but it's just having to talk to him and say, you know that's wrong. Yeah. You know, why like I I'm not gonna tell you yes or no on whether you should do it or not, or whether you can do it or not, but should you be doing it?
SPEAKER_03Sure. You know, discipline might be out the door now or at some point, but there's always well you always want to I don't know the word to the word to use, but you know, you always want to help them make the best decisions.
SPEAKER_02I try to talk logic in. And and again, when I was 22, you wouldn't telling me nothing I didn't want to hear. Right. You know, and and I and again, you know, I told Stephen this the other day. I was like, dude, you are so far ahead of me where I was back, you know, back at that age. Like, dude, you your your relationship with God is so much closer than what I what I ever thought of being. You know, his values were so much better, his standards were, you know, higher. Like, I mean, just me and Steven side by side at 22, that kid is 20 stair cases higher than I've ever I've I was ever at, you know, and and and that that's a blessing because, you know, Josh Howerton talks about in one of his sermons about, you know, why he is where he is, and that's because of his parents. Like his dad's ceiling was his floor. So he started where his dad finished. You know, he didn't have to start way down low where his dad w started. He gets to start where his dad finished. And so he's building that foundation up to where his ceiling is, his kids will be able to start at that at that ceiling at their foundation, you know. So like, and I'm and I I do look at that, you know, as somewhat of a testimony because I do I do think Steven learned a lot of things, you know, because of me. But but just being able to, and I, you know, I am I am so proud to see where that kid is now because he was, you know, where he was in life to where he is now, you're just like, holy cow, you know, like see, I'm kind of getting teared up about it, you know, because I'm so proud of him, you know. And but but yeah, so like I said, his his thing is now trying to talk logic to him, you know, because he is 22 years old. He thinks he knows what he wants. And and he does, he for the most part he does know what he wants, but it's the right and wrong. The, the, the, you know, the I'm I talk to him now about the biblical aspect of things, you know, of just, you know, yes, Infinity and I lived with each or each other before we were married. You know, we were staying with each other before we were married. They don't make it right. You know what I mean? Sure. So like I constantly have to tell him, like, hey, you know, I understand where y'all are, but you know, we've got to make sure we we do what's right by God, not by by our fleshly selves. Yeah. And and so I'm I'm getting more off on a sermon and and and preaching more than I am.
SPEAKER_03No, but I mean, you're right, you know, being able to say, you know, admit that you had mistakes and you know, at your age, this is what I was doing. You know, once I want better for you. I don't want to see you to go down that path, even though that's where I went.
SPEAKER_02Right. And and you know, and luckily he he gets that. He understands that. You know, so so being able to talk to him is a lot easier. And and there's some things that we just don't see eye to eye or agree on. But he has enough respect for me that he understands that in this house, I'm the king. You know, this castle, that's me. You know, someday when he moves off and he gets his own place, guess what? That's his. That he sets the laws, he sets the rules, you know? Yeah. But but for from for here and mine, I'm the boss. You know what I mean? If I tell you, hey, I don't care if you're 22 years old, I want you home by midnight. He's gonna be home by midnight. You know, which now granted, I don't do that. I just want to make sure he's home every night.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna say, boy, I just I want to make sure he's home every night. Like again, we're not we're not staying over with our girlfriends. We're coming home. You know, but but like, like I said, if if if I wanted if I wanted to say you're home by midnight, you're gonna be home by midnight. True. Again, this is my house. I've got other kids that sleep in this house. I don't need you coming in late and close, banging doors, and turning on lights. Like when the lights are off, the lights are off. You know, and that and that's more of it, it's not more of so much of a time, it's just having respect for others that are in the house. Right. You know, and plus when my kids aren't home, I can't sleep. You know, it's hard. It's hard for me to sleep when I I know my kid's out. Like when he's up there, uh I can sleep a lot better because he, you know, he's up there, he's doing his own thing. But when he's here, I worry. Like, I'm like, okay, where's he at? Is he driving yet? Like, is he, you know, did he wreck? You know what I mean? Like it's just the parent in me trying to constantly check up on him and see, and I just can't sleep because I'm like, okay, well, he's supposed to be coming home, so he's not home yet. Where's he at? You know, so it's just it's just constant worry, and I'm, you know, I just can't sleep. So, but yeah, like I said, that's that's kind of how it is with having five kids. You've got to discipline each one of them differently. And I know we we went on we went a long, probably about 20 minutes of that on one question because that's okay.
SPEAKER_03I mean, yeah, I would I would rather uh dive deep into one question than the surface of 20.
SPEAKER_02No, but yeah, so like I said, you know, well, like you said, I don't see discipline as a punishment. And and I did when I was younger. I did see it as a punishment. Man, my mom making me come home at nine o'clock. You know, it's not the fact that I had I I get punished being home at nine o'clock. It's the fact that my mom told me to come home at nine o'clock. I better be home at nine o'clock. Yeah. It's a discipline thing.
SPEAKER_03It's not it's not a a punishment thing, you know. Yeah, and you're not thinking about, you know, bad things that can happen.
SPEAKER_02Well, I look I look at them, yeah, and I don't think about those things, you know, as you and that's what I told Stephen. You won't understand until you're my age and you have kids your age and you're having to be a parent. You won't understand that. You know, and I and I agree with that. You know, just like you won't understand the love of a child, uh like a love of for a for your one of your children until you have a child. Right. Absolutely. It's a lot, it's a lot different being able to love your mom than it is to love your your daughter. Yeah. You know, like it's a lot different. I love I love my my daughter way more than I ever thought of loving my mom at that age. You know what I mean? Like, so it it's it's a lot, it's a lot different, you know. So but what what do you whenever whenever we talk about discipline and stuff like that, like what what do you expect from our kids, like whenever you discipline them? Like are are you expecting them like to back talk or like or clean their room or you know, like what is the standards you may hold for your kids when it comes to your di their discipline?
SPEAKER_03Well, I mean the end result would be that whatever I the discipline is for, that we wouldn't have to do this again if that's what you're what you're meaning. You know, but what do I you know if I ground her or I whoop her, I mean I expect she's gonna cry and and she's like I said, she's gonna deflect, she's gonna change the subject, she's gonna blame someone else. But you know, for me, it's just been such a such a trial and error of trying to figure out what's the best path to you know get more discipline out of her.
SPEAKER_02Well, and and my thing is is I'm I'm not I'm not raising children. I mean, yes, I'm all physically raising children, but I'm I'm trying to raise adults. You know, like does that make sense? Like I'm I'm trying to raise them to be Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I mean, to me it's like I'm I'm I'm teaching, but I'm having to learn as I teach.
SPEAKER_02Right. Like, you know, I mean, obviously you have like athletes and then you're obviously soldiers, musicians, you know, just people that are successful. They all have discipline. They all have crazy discipline. Like those, those people in particular have crazy discipline, you know, like how LeBron James lives his life and the schedule that he lives, and you know, the training he does for his body to be as old as he is and still playing at the lead level, like, you know, like that's is a different discipline than you or I have.
SPEAKER_03Sure.
SPEAKER_02You know, like he they are disciplined, you know. So, like, I do believe how we discipline our children when they're adults will show how we discipline our child. You know what I mean? Does that make sense? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I mean, it it'll start to show at a younger age, too.
SPEAKER_02And you know like, what do we expect from our children? Why do we make them clean their room? Why do we make them do their homework? Why do we make them apologize when they're wrong? Like, we do those things not because it's the right thing to do. We do those things to teach them, hey, when you make a mess, you clean it up. When you do somebody something someone wrong, you fix it. You know, when when you get homework assigned to you, you do it. You know, those are the things that like that we try to teach our children that again teach. You know, I said we try to teach our we don't try to discipline our children, we try to teach our children how to do these things properly. And that's that's the kind of discipline that I'm I'm looking at, you know, because that's something that I didn't have as much of at a younger age. You know, and I and I truly believe that's why Steven is so much further than what I was at that age. You know, because I hold him to a higher standard. I don't I don't do bad grades. Again, I do bad grades if it's because it's just the the lack of knowledge and you don't get it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But just not understanding.
SPEAKER_02But I had zeros. It wasn't because I was stupid. Right. You know? I I wasn't oh obviously I'm not dumb, I got a doctorate, you know, like I I can do the work. It's just the fact of being disciplined to do the work. And and again, the bad grades that my two older children both made were from the lack of discipline by not turning their stuff in. It wasn't because they couldn't do the work, it was because they just didn't turn their stuff in. And so that's that's kind of what I'm trying to teach my children now is how to have those good habits and not those bad ones, because that's what it turns into is habits. You know, just I mean, I'm sitting here overweight because of my bad habits, my bad heating habits, you know? Oh, I know. It's not it's not because it's not because I've I just started out as a a big fat kid. You know, I was skinny in school. Like I was I was I could You didn't just eat one big burger. Right. Yeah, yeah, right. Like one burger. You know, like so it's just those those habits turn can either turn into bad habits or good habits.
SPEAKER_03And it it's hard, it's hard to have a, you know, a cigarette in your mouth and tell your kid not to smoke. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Or it was hard to smell like an ashtray. Like you know, it's hard to do.
SPEAKER_03You know, expecting expecting your kids to be disciplined when you're not. And I'm, you know, it does sound like it, I'm saying it's being hypocritical, but because you do still want your kids to do better than you, like like we've said, but you know, you've still got to have some discipline in your own life to be able to because a cer at at a certain age they're gonna be able to see, like, yeah, okay, you told me my whole life not to smoke, but you've been smoking. Yeah. And like maybe I want to try that out or like uh the the things that I there's two things that I hate.
SPEAKER_02Like do as I say, not as I do. Like you're not teaching your child anything by that. You're teaching them that, well, once I get older, I could do all the stuff you do, you know? Like you're not teaching them anything. And then and then the other saying is like the you've seen the t-shirts that I love Jesus, but I cuss a little or whatever. Uh like if you love Jesus, you're gonna try not to cuss. Like you're gonna stop cussing at some point in your life. You're gonna stop cussing because you love Jesus. You know what I mean? Like the the the more you love Jesus, the more you're gonna try to do right, not just continue to do wrong.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's a way of saying I'm I'm still gonna do what I want.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. And I I just I those those things just kind of rub me the wrong way. I mean, yes, I'm gonna do what I want, but guess what? I love Jesus, and so I'm gonna do the things that I want to do. But the things that I want to do are gonna be things that are okay to do, you know? Yeah. Yes, I'm gonna mess up along the way, but that don't mean I want to mess up. Right. You know what I mean? You're never gonna my fleshly body is gonna be tempted to do certain things. Right. That don't mean it's right, and that don't mean I don't want to do it. I mean I'm gonna do it, I want to do it because my temptation, but whenever I reflect, I feel bad about doing it, it's not like I'm, oh, I don't care about that. I'm gonna do it for that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's what that shirt makes it. It makes it seem like I'm not willing to but so let's flip that.
SPEAKER_02You know, we talked about making our kids do these certain things, but do we hold ourselves to the same standards that we hold our kids? Or do we f actually finish what we start? Do we control our anger like we should with, you know, or do we spend wisely, you know, do we spend our money wisely? Like we hold our kids to these certain standards, but then again, we hold ourselves to other standards. Now, granted, like I just said, it's not that the whole do as I say, not as I do thing, but like are we a little bit more lenient on ourselves because it's us?
SPEAKER_03I can't say we, but me, yes. No. Uh definitely. I mean, it's even so you were saying, you know, Steven's farther along at twenty-two than you were at twenty-two. I mean, I would say with with patience, as little patience as Gabby has at seven, and I'm 36, she still has more patience than I do. I still jump all over about not being patient. Yeah. No, yeah. So yeah. I'm definitely in that boat.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and and and that's something that I've got to reflect on myself, and and I've got to hold myself accountable a lot more than than I do. You know, I mean, I've I gripe at my kids all the time for picking up their stuff. Well, I was gonna say, but I got something right there, but I there's nothing in the floor that's mine or anything like that. But but like I said, I just, you know, I've got to do a better job of of leading as well as a as a man. You know, it's if I see dishes in the sink, do them. Don't just say, hey, Steven, do the dishes, or hey, Riley, do the dishes, or, you know, do them yourself. Which this month, that was a big topic is I've been I've been keeping track, and on the last day of the month, I'm gonna show these kids how many times I did the dishes compared to them. So I've I've been keeping track of the phone. Oh, you got the tally? I've been keeping a tally. They don't know where that tally is, but I'm gonna show them the last day of the month. So you hey, look, I did dishes this day, this day, this day, this day. And right now I'm sitting at the 10 days that I've done the dishes this month.
SPEAKER_03Who's at number two?
SPEAKER_02Who's at number two?
SPEAKER_03Are you only tracking yours? You're not tracking theirs?
SPEAKER_02Well, obviously infinity's number two.
SPEAKER_03No, no, I mean not talking you're you're not trying to teach an affinity lesson.
SPEAKER_02I'm talking about out of Riley's. Speaking of dishes, okay, a couple of days ago, you know, I've been telling Stephen, I was like, hey, I need you to do these dishes. Because Riley did them the time before. And I was like, Steven, I need you to do the dishes. All right, I'll get I'll do them, I'll do them. Didn't do them. I was like, dude, I need you to do the dishes. All right, I'll do them first thing in the morning because I'm tired. It's late now. That's day one. Wake up the next morning. I need to do the dishes. Hey, I'm gonna I'm gonna go work out and I'm gonna do them. All right. So he comes back home and doesn't do them. And about three or four o'clock, I'm like, Steven, I need you to do the dishes. Uh I'm gonna do them. Let me finish. I fold my clothes, I'm gonna do them. Whatever. So I come in here and I just start doing the dishes. And I'm just knocking them out. He's like, he comes in, he's like, ah, Pappy, here, I'll do them. It's okay, I'll do, I'll do them, I'll do them. I'm like, no, like I've asked you for two days. Well, no, you've asked me for, you know, you asked me the last day. I'm like, Steven, what was yesterday? He said, Friday. I said, that's one. I said, what was today? Saturday. I said, that's two. That's two days that I asked you to do the dishes. I was like, and you you still haven't done them. You keep putting them off. Well, well, you've actually asked me like 24 hours. I was like, it doesn't matter. It's two days, dude. Like, you know, just like stuff like that. And you're just like, oh my gosh, son. But then, but like I said, once I started doing them, no, Pappy, I'll take care of it. But I went ahead and finished them. I was like, no. I was like, I'm tired of waiting on you, just go on, do something else. And and then, you know, he's he's like walking around, like picking up trash or like sweeping, or you know, trying to approve me, Pappy. I'm I'm doing something, you know, like trying to get my approval. Right. I'm like, I don't care if you're doing that. Like I literally told you to do the dishes.
SPEAKER_03Like, when I asked you to do the dishes. And and but the problem is if if you change yourself out for infinity, and you change him out for you, and she's nagging you about something. Yeah. Maybe not for you, but for me, it's like, you know, I in this story, I could be Stephen a lot of times, and at the end, maybe I'm not saying, well, it's been two days, or it's, you know, it's only been one day when you're saying two. I'm probably saying, I don't remember you asking me to do no dishes. Yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_02No, that's you once. But you know, and another thing is it's funny because like when Steven lived here, I would, I would tell him to do something, I'd tell him again to do something, I'd tell him again, and then I'd blow up on him. Like, why are you yelling? Why are you always gonna yell? I'm like, well, because you didn't listen the first five times I told you. Like, it's the only way you listen. When I when I get crazy, you know, like I have to yell at you for you to listen and do it. Because once once I yell, I yell loud, and they're like, they're like, oh crap. Like, even if I'm not yelling at Riley, she'll be like, oh, well, I gotta find something. I'm gonna pick this up. Like she'll walk in with something random in her hand, go put it up. I'm like, what are you doing? You know, like now I'm now I'm over here getting on to her because I'm like, what are you doing? You know, so it's just we're all over the place. But it's you know, that's part of having seven people in your household. And it's hard, man. Like, that's why I'm ready for this building to get done because like I told you before we started this podcast, dude, I'm ready for him to get out. Yeah, you know, it wasn't say that. And then it wasn't, you know, like, and not because I don't love him or anything like that. Obviously, I do, but like, you know, he lives here. We all live here together, seven people, you know, we get used to it, and then all of his stuff goes away. All of the stuff goes away. We got a little bit of a little bit of room now, and over time, you know, you start filling up that little bit of room that you had available with other stuff, sometimes other junk, and and then all of a sudden he moves back and all this stuff comes back, and now your house is overflooded with stuff. It's like, oh my gosh, you know, like right there in the living room, he's got he's got laundry baskets with clothes and stuff in them. Like, get it out, you know, like, but where are you supposed to put it? You know what I mean? So, like, it's just it's hard whenever that person moves out. And it'll be like that with Riley, too. I mean, Riley will get all her stuff out when she turns 18 and moves off to college, and then she'll move out, and then it'll be nice, and then each kid'll have their own bedroom, and then all of a sudden, bam, here she is back for the summertime, and then everything back, and it's just it's like an in a never-ending cycle of just stuff. Yeah. But and that's why we got this building, was because now they'll have somewhere to stay, they'll have somewhere to put their stuff, they'll have, you know, they'll have a bed out there, they'll have a TV out there, they'll have a dresser out there, they'll have, they'll have places to have their stuff. And then, you know, this big area right here will be out there, you know, our podcast studio will be, you know, closed off in a building where we can actually have our podcast. I ain't gotta send everybody away to so you and I can just sit here and talk and do this podcast. Like we'll be able to just go go to the building and just do it that way. I mean, because we have all the, you know, the all the stuff we need. So it's just like it'll be set up out there all the time and it'll just be life will be a lot easier. I just need a I just need about a 5,000 square foot home.
SPEAKER_03I I think I think once he gets married, man, I think, you know, he'll straighten up and all that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's probably something you're looking forward to. Violet, Violet, Violet will keep him in line.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, there you go. Violet And that's all you need.
SPEAKER_02Violet will keep that boy in line, you know, and that's and that's exactly what he needs, and that's what I needed with Infinity. You know, I needed somebody to keep me in line, and that's what Infinity does. She does a great job at it. I mean, I try to I try to fight back, but I never win. Right. You know, so I mean, you would think at this point in my life I'd learn not to fight back, but I I try anyway, and it don't work. But but yeah, Violet, Violet's definitely, she's she she uh she's a good one. And I t I tell him all the time that if you ever mess that up, I'm dishonoring you. Like, because you ain't gonna you ain't gonna find another violet. I'll probably take you serious when you say that. Yeah, you ain't he ain't gonna find another violet. That one's a good one. That's funny. She's a good one. We love Violet, so but uh, but yeah, she was here yesterday, and I mean, she'd tell him, you know, he came in the look in the kitchen with no shirt on and he left coming out with the shirt on. She's like, Why are you wearing that shirt? You didn't shower yet. Why would why would you put a clean shirt on without showering? You know, he's like, Oh. And then and then five minutes later he came back and not have the shirt on. She's like, Why would you take the shirt off? Like, what are you doing? You know, like and she just thinks he's like, I don't, I don't know, I don't know. Like, but I mean she it was it was good. So But no, but like I said, you know, for the most part, discipline is it's hard. It's it's it's easier to discipline someone than it is to keep yourself disciplined. You know, and I don't I don't know. I mean I think I think love and discipline kind of goes hand in hand. I don't try to discipline somebody that I don't love.
SPEAKER_03You know what I mean? I don't I don't try to Yeah, pun punishment would uh what am I trying to say there? I don't even know. You know, if you're just trying to punish someone, that doesn't necessarily mean that you love 'em. But if it's discipline then you are, then you do love 'em. Should I say?
SPEAKER_02Well, you know, like just like the whole the whole saying, rules without re relationships lead to rebellion. You know, you gotta have a relationship with a person that you're given rules to, or or they're just gonna rebel against you and just do what they want and just like a boss, you know. If you don't have a relationship with your boss, but they come in and they just start barking orders and stuff, you're not gonna like them, you're just gonna try to, you know, do things that you wanna do, try to sabotage them, whatever it may be. But if I have a relationship with my boss and he's a great boss, so when he tells me to do something, or he's really good about even asking me to do something, like I'm gonna try to do it to the best of my ability because I respect someone, you know, like so and I've had bosses where they just try to come boss you around because they could boss you around. I'm just like, dude, I will kick you in the chest. You know, like so yeah, there's a there's a little bit of both, you know. I just I don't know, it's it's hard. I just I don't know. I'm just kind of rambling at this point because like I said, I I I think we need discipline. I think I need discipline more for myself, you know. Maybe maybe I need to say I'm gonna run a 5K and just just try to be more disciplined and try to run a 5K.
SPEAKER_03That's just jumping out there on it. You're trying to go zero to a hundred on it. Maybe start with a block or two down the road.
SPEAKER_02Listen, real quick, while I said run, it makes me laugh because I think of I think of Clayton Delmore. Remember when we used to have this baseball loop, we used to have to run around? I remember one day we ran, you know, we we had to run by the hospital and we ran on 12th Street by Logan Beards. Uh we come all the way up, then run down 12th or run down MacArthur and then run back to the street.
SPEAKER_03I'm pretty sure I know this going, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Remember whenever he came back, like half of practice was already over at this point. And like he came back and his legs were all cut up and bloody, and he had those, he had those big stick ties in his in his shoestring, and and we were like, what in the world did you do? He's like, man, he's like I wrote it. He's like, I tried to be easy to cut across those woods and got stuck. Oh man, that was one of the best days, man. We need to get Clayton on one time, dude. I I miss that guy.
SPEAKER_03That would be a good one to have.
SPEAKER_02Dude, Clayton is hilarious, man. And now he's got that big, that big mustache, you know, and like like he was just funny. Like I used to remember sitting out in the outfield, and you know, I would we wouldn't be paying attention. We'd be we'd be Clayton would be singing grills, you know, with Paul Wall. Me and him would be out there singing, he'd be beatboxing and always singing, and we're just out there messing around. And Coach Rushing would catch us out there messing around, he'd hit the ball, and it it would be we would not be ready for whatever Clayton, that's you, that's your turn. He'd just take off, right?
SPEAKER_03I remember when he in warm-ups or in practice when he he'd be in right field and I don't know if it's rushing or running, they'd hit him one, and it would be from me to you where the ball is. He would reach his glove out there, but you didn't hit it too. He's like, Why didn't you hit it? Why didn't you hit it to me? Like, you gotta take two steps.
SPEAKER_02Dude, Clayton may be one of the funniest, funniest human beings that I've ever encountered, man. If if you don't know Clayton, man, y'all are y'all are truly missing out because Clayton was, he is one of a kind. He is a he's a great human being. And you know, Clayton now, like, he will do anything to help anybody, man. He's a he's a good, he's just a good human being, you know. So but yeah. Well, I mean, uh, I don't really have much anything else. I mean, no, that's that's about all I got. Yeah, I don't uh like I said, I mean, it was we talked about discipline, we kind of got off on the on a different trail here and there. We kind of wandered back, but but yeah, so guys, again, if if if y'all have dad fails, man, we're really interested in hearing some dad fails and and hearing kind of about y'all. We want to get y'all, you know, more active and and involved in the show. So if, you know, if maybe even if you want to be on the show and just shoot us a message and talk to us and tell us, like, hey man, I'd like to be on y'all's show. I think I can talk about something and and I'd like to be on the show. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So Yeah, I'd love to get some people on.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, like I said, it was it was fun having Jared on that one day, you know, and and by the time by the time we're out in that building, I mean, we can actually have a s another setup for people and to do that.
SPEAKER_03Do we got anything else set up in the future right now for Well, you know, I I talked to Ron.
SPEAKER_02Anything we can share, should I say he said that uh he would he'd be more happy to be on the show.
SPEAKER_03Shoot, I'd say as soon as possible to get that man on.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I would I would like to get Ron on because it's he's he's gonna bring a lot of a lot of knowledge, you know. Yeah. We might have to put a whole day back, do a four-hour episode on that one. No, for sure. Let him talk. Yeah, no, I I agree because like I said, from spiritual to coaching to just human being and own owner, entrepreneur, whatever it may be, like that man is is great at all of it. You know, God's definitely blessed him, and he's got two sons that are, you know, athletes, and one of them's they both played college football. One of them's a college football coach now, you know. Like, I mean, it's that's cool. Yeah, it's I mean, he's just a cool guy, man. If you don't know Ron, that's definitely disappointing because you should. You know, so well, uh guys, I appreciate y'all staying tuned and listen to us and keep coming back and give us a chance after chance. One day we might be good at this. So guys, thanks you for listening to myself and Britt. And we're just two guys still trying to figure it out.