Hii Internet Si Yetu

In a world driven by likes, clout, and content, where do boundaries stand? This episode examines how social media shapes male entitlement, objectification, and blurred consent and asks whether digital freedom is always truly free.

Transcript

SPEAKER_12 0:02

This episode contains sensitive content that may be triggering for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised.

SPEAKER_13 0:28

Coming up next on off script. First of all, the boys were cap proof.

SPEAKER_06 0:33

You're a man. You should always be open to sex, whether it was by force or consensual.

SPEAKER_12 0:55

Coming up on this episode, McKenna asked the students at the University of Nairobi something nobody wants to answer honestly. If your partner had only fans, how would you feel? We then tap and revisit raw moments from MTV Sugar Mashariki and Gen Free, where fiction hits close to home. And later, Mushina sits down with Esther, who knows firsthand how being active online can make you a target. Let's get started.

SPEAKER_04 1:30

This is Mushina Malomba. Welcome to OK. Finally, we are in the heart of Nairobi. The University of Nairobi. Conversation we're having today is about objectification, online spaces, and also uh harassment online in India Sunday. And you went and you met some few people with interview.

SPEAKER_06 2:02

All right. And the answers I got were attackable animal only fans. Well mesema big no capital letter board. Letters. And mostly Nikangaliya situation, mostly it was because of lack of trust. Someone like hey, it's a mutuangu. Accordingly, fans up, and I'm bamba kinda vele. Meme namba.

SPEAKER_04 2:41

Sonika kuchana this student, and uh she was just opening up about how we have sort of normalized online harassment. Yeah, and she was a lady, and the first thing I could harass me about you know her body. Yeah, what on a cast you know Zaki or Kisema Uyuni, this is her, and it was quite sad that that is being normalized, especially in the online space, you know.

SPEAKER_06 3:01

And was it actually her or was it someone else?

SPEAKER_04 3:03

No, of course it was someone else. That's when you're an adjunct, but this is not true.

SPEAKER_06 3:07

This is not, you know, and it's quite sad that that's and that is very unfair, you know. And sometimes people just start it as a joke, yeah, but they don't realize the impact it has on someone's personal life, you know. Even sometimes we're talking about online and harassment. Sometimes you go see a girl, I'm available, she looks good, I'm a post picture, and then you go, you leave a comment, and maybe to you it's a harmless comment comment. You know, at the comfort of your house, it's just a comment no ne ya chiliya. But the moment you release that into the online space, it loses control because judge and then all it needs is one negative comment for many other negative comments to start flocking down there. Now I maybu look on if I jokes, you know, no kacha shugulizak, no candela shugulizako, but the effect this has on someone's personal life is crazy. We've seen people try to take their own lives because of comments online.

SPEAKER_04 4:04

For sure.

SPEAKER_06 4:05

People because some people who shared nudes with their partners when they were dating, uh, and so mimi personally, I would advise here is all picture personally, iso picture very intimate and personal. Let's avoid to send them. Sindo to avoid but come on to me feature bath smok. Sura u no feature sura feature tattoo something that can obviously identify you. Ilan yan nikiona ni sene eatom senior ne show tiny. And also the other thing here that I wanted to take. And you know, even like I was saying, um villain you can if your partner and get only fan. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 5:07

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_06 5:07

What I realized is most people, um, especially guys, well kikata because they felt like their girlfriend is a property of theirs. Because killam channy, hey, you're showing what is mine. You're showing what is mine. Nico Yamani. Who you wakeman, you can't get it.

SPEAKER_12 5:34

Everyone's got a take. Let's see what the people have to say.

SPEAKER_06 5:39

If we found out that your girlfriend was or she was planning to get an OnlyFans account, what would be your reaction?

SPEAKER_03 5:47

I'll suggest uh she delete the account very fast. And if she doesn't delete it, uh then uh I'll leave her.

SPEAKER_10 5:55

I wouldn't be with him if he wants to join OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_06 6:05

Yeah, why would you stay there and someone is exposing their genitals and that is weird?

SPEAKER_05 6:15

Unless I'm joining in with him, so join him as in make movies together, Ama, be part of the production. I would not be comfortable with him making movies with someone else.

SPEAKER_10 6:32

It makes sense. Like why attack money a means of getting money or something, he can opt to do something else rather than joining only fans. Okay, so uh uh it's a chart issue.

SPEAKER_06 6:43

No, I would not I'd not like to share. You'd not like to share. But if he's doing it with someone else, and uh if he's doing it alone, he's recording videos alone, sour.

SPEAKER_12 6:55

That's the vibe qua ground. Now check this out. Here is a moment from Sugar Mashariki voice.

SPEAKER_11 7:15

Let's meet her.

SPEAKER_09 7:16

We can only meet online.

SPEAKER_11 7:21

I can give you so much more.

SPEAKER_09 7:24

Anything you want how much you like Eric Oh Melanie Moves are welcome online as well. If you want to have a session, we have Melanie. Thank you, Daddy.

SPEAKER_11 8:00

At least let me see your face.

SPEAKER_09 8:02

Our time is up. See you soon, Mr. Triple I got destroyed.

SPEAKER_12 8:17

So let's get back into it. Heard anything on this episode that you want to talk about in a safe, private, and judgment-free space? Chat naosema Nami chatbot on WhatsApp, number ni 0758-919709. He, Ni 101, take a listen.

SPEAKER_04 8:52

Uh, about online harassment. And you've personally gone through it. You're a female student leader, you are. Uh, can you just get us through that? How did you how were you harassed and how did you even feel like when that was happening?

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Uh, I think first, it is taken as induction into leadership. Harassment, we've never known it's a crime. Yeah. I personally didn't know it was a crime or it was wrong for people to do that because it was so normalized. How much you can take bullshit is what measures up to your level of leadership. So we were taught to handle it as if it was nothing bad. When in reality it was not really nice. It's it makes you feel really bad. People say a lot of things and you're like, are they really talking about me? Or did they actually do those things and forget? And they have a lot of perception on who you're supposed to be. And to some extent, it's you start believing it yourself. So, whatever people say, you start taking it in, and it might become a part of your life, which affects you really negatively.

SPEAKER_04 9:55

I want to take you, and I'm sorry for doing this, I want to take you to that moment when you were first online harassed as a female student leader at the university. What was going through your mind?

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Uh, I was lucky, I had a friend. Yeah, she's she's a keyboard warrior. So she was she was taking me through how these things are done. Yeah. So someone, it was during campaigns, and someone takes, uh not exactly photoshopped, but someone turns nodes without the face and says, This is Gitaranga. The the lady who was there, she was like, No, I know guitaranga's genitals, they don't look like that. You know, I was like, they helped me carry the conversation, but I felt really bad because you see, there's no face, so there's no way you can prove it wasn't you.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

And you're supposed to still hold your head high, and everyone has their own opinion, and they're like, we were really looking up to you, and now this is you. No, it really gets to you, and you start wondering, do I drop out of this and leave all of this?

SPEAKER_04 10:57

And why is it always that I don't know if you've realized this, but like in um in on when people get cyberbullied, especially women, people always target something to do with their body parts, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:09

In my opinion, I think it has something to do with the market. The market wants to make a lot of money from women. They want to tell you your butt is too big, it is too small. Boost your boobs, next minute, oh, do an operation to reduce your time. These people are in business. But we, the ladies who are the market, before we realize that it is people who are after money, it takes a lot because you will never have a perfect body according to society. You'll always be too dark or too light, too slim or too thick, too tall or too short. You'll never be perfect. And by the time you get to realizing that, sometimes it's a bit too late. That is why they focus on making women insecure about their bodies. Someone did it for market. But sometimes what you post on the internet is understood differently. You know, what you say, you're responsible for it, but you're not responsible for how people choose to interpret or understand that message. So people understand it differently and then they take it out on women knowingly or unknowingly.

SPEAKER_04 12:14

Do you think uh uh why do you think people don't sort of realize that cyberbullying is bullying because you don't need to choose the internet?

SPEAKER_01 12:24

I think people trauma bond. Starting from where people came from, yeah, their parents are shouting at them. The teachers in school will tell you, Unapata 08, a sabu, you will not make it in life. So people have a lot of trauma, a lot of stress. But instead of healing, because again, mental health is not taken seriously here in Kenya. That's true. So we don't really look into ourselves, into our minds, how we feel, how we think. The traumas, we don't heal them, so we take them out on others. If I feel like I don't address my own issue, I start looking at mushiri, what is imperfect about you and I start talking about. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 13:07

Mimi Una Jamma Nagafi Nambiya na kitambikubua, nayo nayo. Same mode. What do you think should be done, especially for young people, so that they can be able to just get to that point where cyberbullying doesn't affect them, but also they're aware that uh bullying someone else really gets to uh affect their mind. What do you think should be done?

SPEAKER_01 13:33

I think number one, I'll go for advocacy.

SPEAKER_04 13:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

People cannot know they have a problem if they don't know what they are going through is actually a problem. Because people are going through cyberbullying, but they don't know it's cyberbullying. Oh, yeah, that's true. It's like a child is beaten every day by the parent, but then they go back home because, in their mind, a parent should punish a child who has gone wrong. So the child will never report or do something about it as long as they don't. So a lot of us, young people in Kenya, we do not know a lot of things about cyberbullying.

SPEAKER_04 14:08

How did you move on from when you were cyberbully bullied in uh university? How did you handle that? How did you move on from that? Did you get a point? Did you have a friend to talk to? I'm only jitinguka yung to be able to just move past that? Because I know it's not easy.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

It wasn't easy, honestly, but I think I had a very supportive group and people who actually believed in me. Uh, they will come and tell me people won't attack you if there is nothing they are seeing in you. If you're not competition here, then nobody's going to come in. They'll just ignore you. So I just, in as much as I go back to my pillow and cry and write in that diary, and you know, wait that pillow, mpaka subui, but then the following day you cannot appear weak.

SPEAKER_04 14:50

Johnny kupe pambajia da buja man. You went through it. Yeah, many mask. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much for sharing your story as Santa Sana.

SPEAKER_12 15:01

This is the off-script podcast. Hiya, back to the convo.

SPEAKER_04 15:07

We saw on the on the season of MTV Masharik it Eric Nanani. Nadada. Nadada, we saw that happening. But I'm also curious to know what is it that pushes uh you to do something unconventional, right? Is it because of the money issues a man in a fanyona fungwa only fans? There's someone in the audience when you're coming only fans. But you already fans kwa sabu gang. When we rezo nyaku liku gani, pass the mic up on you, ma. It's a safe space.

SPEAKER_06 15:31

It's a safe space.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

It's a safe space. Nili kwana semanisha ikwa nam se ashaiku na only fans. Nili kwam shukwa kona. Ju. No, like dem Ukonae sakidogo, naskiya meakwa bedroom, pe kiakan taka privacy. Nani dem Sona Shangalaiku Nadu Nini Ukona.

SPEAKER_06 15:55

Okay, okay, semange wana only fans a lafu akuambia wonkechu.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

Uh onai minesikubalio.

SPEAKER_06 16:03

So nana livija.

SPEAKER_00 16:05

So that like uh okay, the reason to say kubali, ni like uh let's say mzazi wango, uh, apartanena just like a patana yo pitch, na na namjua, yeah, like yeah girlfriend wango, no. So like um my mama, my dad, atta atta feel like uh my son, kunavenye ayukosa, no che like uh nimi patana pitch, demuake, uchi, kwa social media, nona. Okay. So like uh maybe me nampenda, n penda sana, nona. Then my mama ni on sheki to come. So nona. Definitely reason yakuko sana ude.

SPEAKER_06 16:42

Okay, we may use parents as the example, but generally we can say what he fears is what other people might think of him because of being with a girl, only fans. Yeah, but if it was a pataem when yeah, nobody else was involved, he doesn't mind.

SPEAKER_04 17:01

People actually keep on saying only fans online prostitution. So there's that, of course, illeot wana film. I also job po you.

SPEAKER_06 17:10

Also, anyone here mwenye ashekwa forced to get into a job that is unconventional or a business that is unconventional, kosa babuya situation do imeku ime kuskuma, manze mimi, apa mali niko, sina wezo, sezi piga home, sezi fanya ivi, sezi fanyibi. So, I've been forced to do something unconventional. It doesn't have to be only fans, but it's anything and yeah, what yeah, what a kuangaju. Anyone here was an example?

SPEAKER_03 17:42

Minimum to you a passim, Jeff Lemta didn't like you too. Make your campo, eh, likuabad, il kwa bad nan likuan we make bad decision. Likakulafi. So ikabidi nifanya massage. Ah ufanya? Nifanya say massage. Oh just like a massage. Possibility.

SPEAKER_06 18:18

And you are you are open to the possibilities because of my lulikwa kimfuko. Lazima unge lipa ifi, unge rudisha ifi.

SPEAKER_03 18:25

Eh, lazima, lazima, like ni possibility. But you liku karibu happen. Shule. Shule. Eh, shule pali to students. Walkwana dokuni liko. So na plasni walini nikama mikono iliku bali. Where's the rap? By the way, ni lipafi. Siniko happen graduate.

SPEAKER_06 18:54

You feel some type of way?

SPEAKER_03 18:57

I didn't feel some type of way.

SPEAKER_14 18:59

My ex-girlfriend. Like me, she's uh so many socialites. Something like that. So, anything to do with social media and appendasana. But personally, any problem, you'll wanna schedule rumors. Your girlfriend only fans. But I approve, first of all, you only natural resource, you only muliak.

SPEAKER_11 19:22

Natural resource. It is a natural resource.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

Maximize. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 19:31

So you do not you will not even ha had a problem coming.

SPEAKER_14 19:36

Oh, the thing is, take a look at the same thing. Because you cannot control someone when you're not after. The only thing unaza fanya knows like Nigana be shtiango, we may cannot judge a sex worker.

SPEAKER_04 20:05

I think from that, uh, one of the questions and you would want to ask, is there anything really like freedom? In a freedom, yeah, kutaka. I think the main issue here in Kwamba Akuna does it.

SPEAKER_06 20:24

And actually, it's crazy because like what he has said is very interesting. Because on one hand, it's like the grind don't stop. You do what you have to do to chase the bug. But at the end of the day, it is like your morals and your culture might be conflicting.

SPEAKER_04 20:40

And also people judging you.

SPEAKER_06 20:44

There's the online space where there is you don't feel safe because bullying, you can left, right, and center. In whose hands are we safe? Guys, guys, to see to see, let us live private moments to be private.

SPEAKER_04 21:01

Private.

SPEAKER_06 21:02

And if someone decides to share their life with you and be your partner, keep it private, dear. Keep it private and know this person does not belong to me. They are just sharing their life with me. See you. See you on the next one.

SPEAKER_13 21:18

Coming up next on off script. Mimi ni kwa kushu let mimi na kwanga head of the house. Mimi ni baba nyumba. Wala. Mikiru mumbani mimi ni kababa.

SPEAKER_14 21:27

Mini first one. So mime patele pressha kuya wenya kunyumaang.

SPEAKER_04 21:31

Kunya me pate watuang no no ni shinda. As a man, you have to be the leader. Manam kiwangumi ezi nipa easy liparent. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 21:48

Off script is brought to you by Sugar Global. Heard anything on this episode that you want to talk about? Out in a safe, private, and judgment-free space, chat naosema nami chat bot on WhatsApp Number Ni 0758-919709.