Flooded Streets, Hard News, and Why Your Digital Village Matters

In this episode, Jordan and Yassi finally tell the story of how they met, and it involves a study abroad trip to the Philippines, monsoon floods up to their thighs, a physical map, and absolutely no pre-trip Googling.

From navigating a foreign country without smartphones to reconnecting years later through Instagram mom content and postpartum honesty, this one gets real fast. Yassi opens up about her health crisis in 2023, how her doctors told her to "calm down" and how reaching out to her digital community became a lifeline when the medical system let her down.

Plus: why Jordan finally booked her own doctor's appointment, the benefits and limits of social media when you're scared and searching for answers, and what it really means to find your village — online and off.

Real talk. Lots of laughs. A little bit of crying. This is Moms Off Mute.

New episodes every Wednesday. Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Welcome back. Hey there. What's your archetype again? Mentor? Was it? Yes, you're the mentor. You are the firewall. Oh yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Was I a firewall when I met you? I mean, I feel like you've always been a kind of a firewall in some way. Huh. Interesting. I mean, if you remember, and we're gonna talk about how this is what this episode is about, by the way. Introducing ourselves to you all, the 10 listeners. I'm Jordan. And I'm Yassi. Welcome back, everyone. Hey, hey. But basically, you're talking about how we met and, you know, our story together. Back then, yeah, you were definitely a firewall. You had strict boundaries. In a good way. I have to say, it was a good way. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

I I don't know. I'm like always not shocked, but like I'm always curious about people's perception of me because I think I'm very critical of myself. Yeah. And then like the people that like actually stick with me through like life in general, or don't. And then I see them years later, they're like, oh my gosh, you were this, you were that. And I'm like, oh wow, I guess I did do that. That's very nice. How nice of me. Thank you. Good job, Jordan.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

So yeah, I appreciate that. No. So backstory here. Jordan and I did a study abroad back in undergrad. Yep. Ooh, it was 2011, I think. Yeah, 2011. You don't need to say what years we were. Yeah, no. It's all good. Just it was a while ago. I was okay, move. A high school student. Okay, sure. On a college trip. I don't want to talk about it. Study abroad to the Philippines.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

That was a wild ride. It was. Set the scene for me. Why did you go to the Philippines? Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Very good question. So, like I said, this was 2011. We went to the Philippines. I was at a point in my life where, so my undergraduate degree was neuroscience and I did not have a minor. And in the course of doing my neuroscience degree, I was like, wait a minute, I cannot see myself just having a career in neuroscience. It's not possible. I need to expand. So I decided to take on a minor, conflict analysis and resolution. With that minor, I was able to extend graduation by a semester and decided to do a study abroad in the Philippines because it was based on conflict analysis and resolutions and all that fun jazz. Uh, that's why I ended up going to the Philippines. Plus, I was like, I have almost done with undergraduate's degree, my undergraduate degree, and I haven't done anything fun and crazy. So this is kind of like my fun and crazy thing.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Did you have like a preconceived notion through like what did you search online to prepare you for a study abroad in the Philippines?

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Literally nothing. Really? I did not search anything other than ensuring that it was within my the scope of my degree and cost-wise. I was not trying to go crazy cost wise. Because I know, like, there was Oxford that we had, and then we had a lot of options. Yeah, we had quite a few, but they were really pricey, and I was paying for this out of pocket myself. So I wanted to make sure it wasn't too expensive but well-rounded experience.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Yeah, that flight was crazy.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

That flight was really crazy. And we were not in the the good seats. Well, actually, no, I I disagree. My seats are pretty great. Oh, wow. Did you fly with Cathay Pacific? I think so. Yeah, Cathay Pacific was amazing. No, I mean we were in Gen Pop. Oh, they actually, well, to be fair, they did uh, you know, bump me up. That's nice.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

Which was nice. I didn't get bumped up. The air wasn't working, it was a lot. Oh, no. But the trip really centered around cultural awareness, peace building, human trafficking, human rights. And at the time I was dabbling between like doctors without borders because I wanted to be, I wanted to be a physician very early on, but I didn't know what kind, but I knew that like I loved people and their backstories. And that I really do think that like jump started after coming back, like why I changed my major. So sorry to my dad. You're not paying for me to go to medical school anymore. Congratulations. But yeah, it was fun. We we had a good time, we did, and it was a crazy time. Yes, we lived hour by hour, minute by minute, really unpredictable weather.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

There were times when you're like, I'm not doing this, I'm leaving early.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

This the agenda was just a suggestion. It really was like we could have drowned at times. The tsunami that we well, not tsunami, what was it? The monsoon, yes.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

I mean, when you're in flooded streets, walking in the streets, all of a sudden water comes into your thighs. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

Um people were swimming in that water.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

They weren't, they weren't chilling, yes, in the jeepneys, they were just hanging out. The jeepneys. Um, but yeah, I think it's like curious that we were at a time where searching your trip was not a thing. Yeah. And I'm curious as to like, I would not allow, allow. That's like my kids will laugh at me. You allow me to do something. Um preparing them to go on a trip now looks so different than it did when like you and I first met in the Philippines. Like you said you didn't search. I didn't either. I went out and got a travel book. I was like, it's cool, the Philippines travel book. I bought a map.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

My prerequisites for myself was like, I want to go someplace that I'll never go to or have not gone to, a place that I would not, a destination that I would not normally travel to. Like, Philippines is not something I would ever think of. Right. But it was the best experience. A map. You say you got a map.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

A physical map. You don't remember me whipping out that map? I think I think the biggest thing for me is that like the way that we connected was so authentic. Yeah, there was no like pre-group chat, there was no pre-group Facebook.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

We just gravitated.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

We literally just We're like, You're cool.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

Let's do it. I don't think we had each other's numbers until it was over either. Yeah, because we didn't need to. We were always around each other. And in fact, when we did our service learning, I was always like, Where's Jordan? Where's Lauren? Where are they? Because we were in different service learnings in uh in Sullivan University, remember? Yeah. In the different villages. I don't think I had a smartphone then. For me, for example, I mean it was a beautiful experience, but like it was really hard to bring you back to basics for showering. Uh, I had to take buckets of cold water and pour it over myself. I genuinely couldn't. With my hair, you know my hair. This you have amazing hair. There's no way. But like, there's no way I can clean it with a bucket of water. It's not possible.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

This woman is flawless. I just want to just let you know, she doesn't wear makeup, but her skin is. Don't tell them this. Her hair is bouncy. Like, she you've got the whole thing, whatever. I don't want to hear any hair guilt.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

No, it's not that. It's just I have no skills to be able to clean my hair with buckets of water. I needed full running water. That's how bougie I will happily agree with you saying I'm bougie for this.

SPEAKER_00 7:10

Getting tried TikTok and get the curly girl leads to tell me what to do with a bucket of water. So no, that was a different time. 2011 was definitely a different time. And like putting that into perspective of like our kids in what 2041? I would come too far. Oh my god, that's that's like a hard math.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Brain can't even comprehend. Um I would love to do a study abroad like that with some different safety parameters in place because we definitely came across some interesting characters that we really shouldn't have come across.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

I'm air tagging that ass. I'm gonna have a one in a shoe. One in the hands. We didn't have air tags back then. Did we not?

SPEAKER_01 7:51

No. Wow, couldn't do find me. I'll be like, look, I will be soldering an air tag into the suitcase, like you said, into the shoe, somehow finding a way to get a microchip into their hands. These are college students, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

We're talking about this. Oh my baby. So stressed. So 2011, we're leaving the Philippines. Oh, this is great. Let's stay in touch. Facebook. Yeah, we stayed in touch on Facebook. And then I stopped using Facebook like proactively. We weren't like texters ever, really. No. And I think it was because of our natural connection. That's so odd that people that you have such a good connection with, even now, we don't really text each other.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

You and I?

SPEAKER_00 8:30

Yeah. We slack a lot. Well, that's work. I'm talking about like a we talk about personal work. We talk about all kinds of stuff. We talk too much at work that we're just like, I need a break from her on a week. No, that's not it. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

I don't feel that way ever. Wink wink. It's just too much platforms to keep track of. That's how it is in my books.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

It's too much. You're right. But even when we didn't have all of that, we just like kind of stopped. But like, not in a bad way. I just think life just kept moving even so many different things.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

Pre-pandemic life. But that's around the time that we ended up like, well, after our kids were born. So like 2022, 2023. When did you get married? I got married in 2017.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

Okay, so that's still Instagram phase-ish.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

So you're like, you're posting on Instagram.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

You were seeing them. I was seeing your stuff. Yeah. It was like the time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

You got married a year before I did. And then we didn't really we were like liking each other's stuff. Yeah. We were in each other's realms. Yeah. And the spheres. I don't know how to really compare that to like the physical world.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

It was really when we started having kids that were like, hey, yeah. We started like talking more, hey, how's it going over there?

SPEAKER_00 9:37

Because we'd have different trajectories in the physical world, but we had the same interests in the online world, which I find fascinating that like you have you can have your anime crowd online, but like in real life, you're like, I don't want to wear a costume and like dance around.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Disclaimer, none of us are into anime. She's just giving that as an example. How dare you? Stop. That's amazing. Is there judgment? Oh my goodness, can I see photos?

SPEAKER_00 10:04

I don't want to talk about them. No, we're moving on. Mind your business. Maybe he doesn't know. You're adding me to my husband. Anyway. So yeah, we we had similar like online interests. And I guess it really was parenting that reconnected us, right? It it really was.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

There was something major that happened in my life that then caused you to be like, but don't die. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

You had so you had a kid in early, uh earlier 2021. No, yeah, early 2021, March 29th. And then I had my son a couple months later. Yes. In the summer. Yes. So set this scene for us, like after because I was looking at your mom tips and like you're keeping everybody informed. It wasn't, in my opinion, you do like digital momming really well. Like it's not too much. It's not braggy. It's just like it real. Like you, me watching you clean your kitchen. I'm serious. It was like one calming because like watching. How did I ever post that? Seriously? You were just really like, it was one of those fast forwards where you're just being like authentic. You have your mom, you have your husband, you were setting the stage for everyone saying, I have a village and I still feel overwhelmed. It's a lot. Postpartum depression was real. I didn't even know I was in it.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

It's wild. I realized I was in postpartum depression eight months in, and I was like, wait, this could have been easier. Yeah, that was hard. And it's like it's so hard to know. To give some backstory, so when I found out I was pregnant, I was furloughed because of COVID and everything, like right around the same time. So my worlds shifted in very odd ways, where I was a corporate person and then all of a sudden found out I'm gonna be a stay-at-home mom. And it was very off balance for me. It was incredibly uncomfortable. So I was kind of using social media as a way to reach out and connect with people because we were also in isolation. I couldn't see my regular friends, I couldn't see my normal people. So that's why I was kind of reaching out more than I normally would, to be honest. I definitely don't post that frequently about my own life these days.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

I was her digital friend.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

You were my digital friend.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

And it wasn't through gaming or anything. It was like mom content. I'm glad it helped. Drama bonding. Oh that's horrible. We should not be laughing about it, but it's bad.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

In hindsight, we can laugh about it. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

We could we're on the other side, almost on the other side. Didn't they say it takes seven years per kid or something crazy like that to actually be on the other side? I just want my hair back for real. For real. My hair just fell out. I had this bounce. You remember my hair. My hair used to shine, bounce. It was fluffy. It is beautiful. I mean, it still is.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

I don't know what you're talking about. The other day you came in with your hair all done up. Excuse me.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

And it looks so pretty. I appreciate that. But that you always look flawless to me. I'll be real. I appreciate that. But that was like a that was just the a day.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

How about we don't compare ourselves to our previous versions of ourselves? We'll just like be present.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

It's not like I'm comparing myself to somebody else.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

No, but just be present. Be where you are.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Jordan the girly beforehand. You know. I know. You you a little cutie. You're bad.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

You batty. But you still are. You're just in a different phase of your life. You're still amazing.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

I appreciate that. Work podcast, pulling it back. Before we get in trouble again. We're getting off topic. JK, sorry, Steven. Um just for context, his wall is right on the other side of this. You can probably hear everything that we're saying.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

What's up, Steven?

SPEAKER_00 13:46

Uh, we have a we have a great boss. He's uh we love him. Generationally, there's what, a generation in between us? Maybe two. Uh maybe, yeah, I think so. And he's just like, you can tell what kind of physical parent he is, digital parent he is, and like person because he brings that to how he leads. Yeah, absolutely. Um, but he can also fit in with us very well. We fit in with him very well. He's so great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:12

Oh, him and his wife. Yeah. Amazing. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

He has a really good sense of humor. I I think you if you don't have a sense of humor, how can you be a good one? Oh no, man. I don't as tall. Sorry. Getting off topic. Okay. Tell the people how we reconnected.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

You say, Yassi, don't die. And this was after I had shared online um the devastating news in 2023 that I had thyroid cancer. And it really blew me off center. It was really scary because uh, if you know me, you know I live a very clean life. Yeah, occasionally I had a drink, alcoholic drink, um, just with friends, but I was I never got into any crazy habits, no vices. Well, that's not true. My vice would be like working out, I should say, and uh meditation. So, but that's not really in the context of vices. My point is, is I lived a very clean life. So to find out that I had cancer was like, what are you talking about? It was really overwhelming having a two-year-old at home. Mind you, the diagnosis of cancer came after a series of different health events that just derailed my life, um, but it didn't make sense, and doctors couldn't tell me what was going on. And if you know much about the body, the human body, in specific the thyroid, how it operates, is it's really the control center, the command center for your entire body. Meaning it controls your emotional regulation, your temperature regulation, your weight management, all of these things. And for women, being that hormones are so critical, for all humans, you know, hormones are important, but for women specifically, we feel it so much, especially with our cycles that we go through. It was a lot and it was really overwhelming. Finding out I had cancer, finding out that I need to somehow figure out my life and reorganize everything, it was a drastic change. And so sharing about this on social media was a lot, mainly because I wasn't getting any guidance from my medical team. They were not helping me. They were like, oh, well, there's a wide range of symptoms that you could potentially experience, but don't worry, it'll be okay. Literally, I had one endocrinologist tell me that you're overreacting. Let it go, calm down, it's going to be okay. And I was like, excuse me, you're gonna tell me to calm down? Are you are you serious right now? I have a little child at home and I need to figure out how to manage my life and get back to normal. Do you understand that I am completely off balance and you are telling me to calm down? Uh-uh, that was not okay. So reaching out to the digital community, the social media community, just to kind of like vent, but also kind of felt like somebody out there would have maybe a similar experience that they haven't felt comfortable talking about or that they know somebody that had gone through the experience. So, really trying to find resources out there. Mind you, this is before AI, before you know the conversational uh bots that you could talk with to kind of help you find more information.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

We're not recommending that you do that, by the way. We're not saying that people do that now for comfort. You should definitely call your doctor. Yeah, get close and personal with your doctor. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

Get all up in there, let them know all.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

If you don't like them, find somebody else.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Yeah, you need a proper doctor to be able to help you to diagnose certain things or discuss certain things that are going on.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

If you can, going back to the original conversation we had. Not everybody has hundred percent quality health care or insurance that is a different podcast. You will have me on a soapbox here. But 100%. Honestly, I I am so thankful that you shared that because it immediately like I kept pushing doctor's appointments off for myself. Because you know, when you have kids, like remember you were telling me this. It's a lot, and I was just like, I'll be okay. I'll do I'll be okay. I'll be because as a parent, especially as a mom, after you're caring, you're just like, okay, I'm no longer pregnant. I gotta do, like, I gotta get back to normal.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

And you think like all these changes that your body is going through is normal because you're in postpartum phase or you just gave birth to a child. Yeah, not realizing that actually there is something very much so wrong with you that you need to have diagnosed.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

No, and you listen to yourself, which you normally do. I'm gonna give you credit. Like I know the people listening don't know you very well, but you are very self-aware of everything. You're like, oh, it's my toe. Oh, the toe is connected to my gut somehow, so I need to close my eyes and put my feet up. Okay, that's not a medical diagnosis. I'm just saying she's very in tune with like certain things, you know. You know, like mean girls, she was like grabbing herself and was like, it's gonna rain. 90% chance of already raining. Yeah, I just again, I I'm not on Instagram, as I have said, but I I'm thankful for our digital friendship. And I will never knock people for being on there. I just want people to know there is a safe place for everyone. Always. Um find your village. Yes, listen, listen to your body. Um, listen, and I know this is gonna sound like a soapbox here, but like being your own advocate while also being your child's advocate is very hard. So if you need to reach out to a digital community that's like larger, these are the benefits of social media. And it really is digital community. It really is because I was like, I'm searching stuff. I am, I'm searching Reddit boards, I'm searching all this other stuff to see if I can self-educate in some sort of way before calling the doctor or before like giving Tylenol.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Something.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

And I think, like, I mean, I'm a Bravo girly. I don't know if you are or not, but one of the real housewives of Orange County was really struggling with something going on with her son. And this is a public episode, so like I'm not spoiling anything. This is like an old season, and she shared at like they have reunions after the whole season airs. I don't know if people know this. And at the reunion, she shared that so many parents reached out and said, get your son tested for pandas. And it's in some kids, mainly boys, I believe. That I'm not getting this from a doctor, people, I'm getting this from just how watching the show. Yeah, and they get strep and it messes with their brain or something like that. Oh, wow. So, like it can shift personality, the speech, all this other stuff just by having strep. That's crazy. Untreated, uh, essentially. But like you just never know, right? So I I had never heard of pandas, I didn't know what that was. And she said her son was getting treated for pandas and it's actually helping a lot. Oh, thank you. The obviously, not obviously, there are some other underlying issues that they need to work through, but it's not as critical as they had thought before because now they know the right thing to treat. And all of that is through her social media community. So it's not all bad out there. It's not, but when we're preparing our kids for real life and digital life, we have to help them know when to reach out to mom and dad. Yes, when to reach out to their doctors, when to reach out to their teachers, and when like we want to be the first source as parents to our children. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

And like not this, not the digital community, I will say.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

And tell them when it's okay to share if they want to, you know, because like you probably helped a lot of people by sharing your story. Um, you got me to the doctor. I'm so glad.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

And then we stayed connected and we went out to brunch and everything. Was that brunch? That's breakfast. That was like breakfast, lunch, dinner. I don't know. Yeah, you're right. It was like breakfast.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Turkish brunch, do brush. Yes, a proper turn. You should have a big huge spread. So nice. So nice. We should do that again. We really should. We spend a lot of time together.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

I love it. I love spending time with you. I do too. It's a great way to live. To come into work.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

All right, everyone. I'm Jordan. I'm Yassi. And thank you for joining us on Mom's Off Mute. Woo! Yay! If you want to learn some more tips, tricks, resources, learn from really smart people doing really great things about online safety. Ecos. Ethos. Ecos. It's ethos. Whatever. Ethos. They know what I'm trying to say. Check us out. Google it. Woo! Fossi.org. That's F-O-S I.org. Thanks, everyone. This podcast is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional advice, including medical, mental health, or legal guidance. The views expressed by host and or guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the Family Online Safety Institute, otherwise known as FOSI. Guest contributions are based on personal experience and are not intended as professional guidance. Any mention of products, services, organizations, or tools is for discussion purposes only and does not constitute an endorsement by the Family Online Safety Institute.