He Almost Didn't Survive. Now He Calls It the Best Time of His Life.

This podcast episode lives at the intersection of hope, community, and the quiet heroism of parenthood. 

It is not a cancer story — it is a story about what human beings are capable of when everything is stripped away. 

On Canada Day 2019, Janelle Stanley's 2.5 year-old son Finley was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. His platelet count was 9. He could have bled out internally without a single warning sign.

Within hours, Janelle was on a Learjet to BC Children's Hospital — no wallet, no change of clothes, no plan. Just her son, and the terrifying unknown.

What she didn't know yet was that the place waiting for them — Ronald McDonald House BC and Yukon — was a place she had helped design.

In this episode of August After Dark, Janelle shares the raw, real, and deeply moving story of what it means to let go of control, lean on community, and watch your child not just survive — but thrive.

Today, Finley is in remission, approaching five years cancer free. He describes his time during treatment as the best time of his life.

This conversation is for every parent who has ever felt helpless. Every family who has sat in a waiting room not knowing what comes next. And everyone who wants to understand what Ronald McDonald House truly means to the families inside its walls.

🔗 Donate and support Finley's 5-year cancer-free milestone: augustafterdark.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

When we arrived at BC Children's Emergency, he could have bled out internally without any indication.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Being someone who helped design Ronald McDonald House, what did it feel like walking through the door as a family that needed the house more than anything in that moment?

SPEAKER_00 0:19

As soon as I had heard you'll be staying at Ronald McDonald House, it was just this complete relief.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

What would you tell a mother, a father getting this news? Welcome to August After Dark. My name's Matt, and tonight is one of our family spotlights. Tonight I have Janelle Stanley, an interior designer who worked with Michael Green Architecture in the development and building of Ronald McDonald House, BC in Yukon. And years later, she walked through those same doors with her two and a half-year-old son Finley. On Canada Day of 2019, after 10 straight days of fever, the Stanleys brought their two and a half-year-old son to Vernon Jubilee Hospital following blood tests and a trip uh to Salmon R. Finley was diagnosed with acute lymphobic leukemia. His platelet count was seven. At his age, it should have been at least 120. When the doctor delivered the news, he told them it was treatable that the team at BC Children's Hospital was already on the case, and they'd be flown down and to pack their stuff as they were on their way to Vancouver to BC Children's Hospital. From landing in Vancouver to the eighth floor of the oncology ward at BC Children's Hospital, Janelle came to understand that she was going to be staying at Ronald McDonald House, a place that she did a lot of the architecture for and interior design for. So she knew that she was in good hands and was going to be taken care of at Ronald McDonald House, BC in Yukon. Today, Finlay is now in remission and on a maintenance phase, and soon will be passing his five years of being cancer free. Janelle, thank you for being here at August After Dark. We appreciate you coming down and sharing your story. And yeah, it's a, I'm sure, a tough kind of thing to go back on and listen to and talk about. But uh I think a lot of parents and stuff that are going through a similar fight, um, that's where this impacts them so much to hear someone who's been through and got through the other side and what to kind of see and what to kind of what you've learned and what you've kind of gone through, and to be able to help those families and by just talking about it and giving them hope is um is what we're we're doing here and what this is all about, and you know, hopefully uh being able to raise a little bit of extra money for Ronald McDonald House as well. And you know, for those listening, it's uh augustafterdark.com. You can go there and we're supporting Ronald McDonald House uh in this conversation, and uh you'll soon hear why. And I guess that would lead me to my first question is take us back to Canada Day 2019. What do you remember um the moment you first heard the word leukemia?

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Um yeah, that's just I don't know if anybody else has imagined that before, but when you have kids and you see other people, other families going through something like that, you just think, I could never endure that. And then you're the one there and you're in it, and you don't have any real choice but to endure it. So um it just your heart leaves your body and you're like, okay, this is reality. We just need to focus on on what's next. So that's kind of you have your moment, you have your tears, and then you're you're right into it. Like, okay, what do we what do we have to do next? And um we ended up at Shushwap Lake General Hospital. Um we went to Vernon, I think, for the first we were in Salmon Arm, then we went to Vernon, then we came back to Shushwap Lake again. Um and when we got that initial diagnosis, it was delivered. And then immediately after um they said we have um a team at BC Children's Hospital working on this already. That was at I think 2 a.m. They said we have a um helicopter, um, sorry, a learjet located in Kamloops. So we're getting in this ambulance right here, and we're gonna take you there right away. And so you are you get the diagnosis, you are whisked away, and then you're right immediately um in that emergency room at BC Children's Hospital, and it's incredible.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Did you travel with your son?

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Yes. So in the Learjet, there's only room for one person with um the ambulance team and my son. And you're kind of looking around the room thinking, like, who's coming with me? And they're they're saying, no, nobody can come with you. And you're like, oh, okay, like it's on me. This is the moment. I'm the adult. Let's do this. So it's you don't have a choice. You just get in there.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

And at that point, you had a daughter too that had to stay on the ground and your husband as well?

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

And what was what was that feeling like when that door closed and it was just you and your son um in the plane and and off? And like how did that how was that how did that goodbye go? And when did you s when were you able to see them again?

SPEAKER_00 6:14

Um, yeah, I do not just having to watch my husband say goodbye. And it was like, okay, as soon as that goodbye happened, he was in his truck and he was gonna drive there. He was gonna try and beat us there. Um for us you just get in there and it is, you know, you're kind of in an ambulance and you're in this state of like I need to tell people, I guess. Like, I'm not coming into work tomorrow. What what's next? Like what this is being taken care of, but what can I do right now here? And um so you're just trying to notify people in that short time that you have to get to the hospital because you know once you're in there, you're just you're in it.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

What was it, what was it like kind of walking through those doors at BC Children's? And what did you was it was it even a thought yet that where are we gonna stay while we're here? Where am I gonna stay? Um, you know, when's my husband gonna get here? Like all these things are racing through your mind. Um what are some of those things that kind of like, you know, kept you kind of grounded in the moment and and just like knowing that you had to be there for your son?

SPEAKER_00 7:38

It's it's almost like a primal instinct where you just step up to the plate and you're you're hyper-aware of everything, and you're thinking, okay, like what's the first steps they're gonna get us in here? They're gonna get a blood transfusion. Like, it's just you go through those doors, and it's kind of like a movie where the team has greeted you, they've taken you into the emergency area to get exactly what you need as soon as you can get it. And then you're just present with this two and a half year old. And anyone who has a two and a half year old can understand that um, you know, they're not necessarily cooperating. So you're 100% of your focus is just on, okay, you need these life-saving measures. If I have to hold you down and tie you up, then like that's what we have to do. You're trying to console, you're trying to help, you're trying to just get the medical team, whatever it is they need, so that this can be quick and efficient, and he can get his blood transfusion and we can move to the next step. So you're just a facilitator at that point. Um, so you're quite distracted. There's there's not even a thought of like where are we gonna land next? You're not even through that threshold quite yet.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

How long did it take you to get to that threshold to um to actually start thinking about like where we're staying, what what's next? Like, you know, the a conversation with obviously the doctors as to like what that next step is, and you know, walk me through that process.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

What is so beautiful about BC Children's Hospital is that, you know, at 2 a.m., they've assigned a team. So you have your medical team that is already um going through the blood work, getting all the tests ordered, getting everything he needs so that when he comes through that door, they know everything about his blood. It's all ready to go. He has his genetic markers. Once you have those, it's figuring out what your treatment path is going to be. Meanwhile, they also have um a team that's setting you up with like, here's where you're gonna stay, here's what you need to do, so that you know, you have to fill out these forms and all of this information so that you're in the government's funding this and they're doing that, and we need to get apply for this and apply for that. And so you're just they're kind of walking you through every step of it with their casework team. So it wasn't until kind of my husband got there the next morning, once he was there and I was there, we sat down with our team of doctors. They walked us through um leukemia, what his specific protocol would be. Um, it was kind of said, um forget everything that you know about time. Like this is just you're here, you're focused, and this is there's no timeline for these things. You just have to let go of control. We are working on this, we're working on that. So they reassure you of all the things that that we are unable to control. We're we don't have a medical degree, we know nothing about this. So um they break it down for us and they just walk you through those steps so that you're able to take care of what it is you need to take care of, um, which is just your sick child. So that on their part was absolutely phenomenal. So um once we figured out that portion, we were then taken to our caseworker, and um she kind of got us everything we needed in that moment. Like when um when I arrived on that plane, we were out at the at shoe shop, we were building a cabin on the shoe shop, and so we were in work clothes, like short shorts, bikini top, and a tank top. And you kind of show up in this cold hospital, and that's all you have. Like I didn't have anything except for a phone. I think I don't even think I had a wallet. I was just you felt so out of place, like plucked off the lake and put into this bright lights, totally out of your elements, so much going on, and then you realize like, I am cold and I am stinky, and I am like, there's zero self-care that's happening there. So they get you this um I think it's called a Joanna's, Joanna's kit or something. And it's somebody who's experienced the same thing has created these kits. So when you get there, it's like, here's a toothbrush, here's shampoo, here's some socks, here's a writing pad. Like, that's cute. You've got, yeah, it's amazing. So you're like, oh, thank God I didn't know what I needed. Um, but this is what I needed in that moment. So they give you that package and then they tell you, like, okay, you've qualified, you can stay at Ronald McDonald's house. We're gonna get you set up with the paperwork for that. And so I hadn't even got to the point of thinking about what I am gonna do. And they they had already reassured us, like, here's what's gonna happen. Because we were still in the point of, I think we stayed in the hospital for 10 nights um before we got into Roll McDonald's house. So you're just sleeping on the recliner or they have a nice window seat that was lovely. Um so you're just kind of in it and you don't know um which way the protocol is gonna go. So there's no real indication of like, where am I gonna stay? Because you don't even know what the next step is until they've given it to you. Um, so we were kind of pre-warned, like just let go of everything you know in terms of time because there's no specific timeline.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

So being someone who helped design Ronald McDonald House, what did it feel like walking through the door as a family that needed the house more than anything in that moment? What did it feel like that like full circle moment?

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Yeah. Um it felt comforting because I knew what was in store. Um because you had thought, um, okay, the logistics of a hotel, every time I go to a hotel, I'm excited because I'm doing something fun. And so those things are novelty. And then when you're in that situation and you're imagining yourself at a hotel, and you're like, okay, where's the closest hotel to the hospital? And what is this gonna be like for my daughter? And how are we gonna navigate this? And what car are we gonna bring? And where are we gonna park it in hotel parking? And you're kind of it's ch-ching, ch-ching, and you're like the logistics of all these things are just adding up. So knowing all of that beforehand, as soon as I had heard you'll be staying at Ronald McDonald's house, it was just this complete relief because I knew what the place was about, and it was about holding families in those vulnerable moments. So people were um people were taking care of you before you even knew it. Before you knew that you needed it, you were just kind of focused on just your son, and all those things were were working in the background. And so as soon as I had heard the caseworkers say, You'll be at Ronald McDonald's house, it was just a complete relief. And um, I was excited for the kids. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

What did uh what did your daughter first think of the house when when she got there?

SPEAKER_00 15:55

Awesome. She loved it. Um yeah, when they come into the house and there's a big yellow slide that winds around, every kid just beelines it to that slide, figures it out, and they just do laps. And it is just the best to see that when um you come in from the hospital into that environment. Um they describe it as like we can do whatever we want, is what they think about Roland McDonald House. Um that main level with people coming and going and um the central slide and all the activity. For her, she's like a social butterfly. So this is the best thing that she could imagine.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

What was it like designing that space walking in? Like where did the slide come from and like the main kind of area? And how did uh give me a little bit of like context on coming up with that and kind of understanding that?

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Usually when spaces are created, they're they're shaped. And so you're kind of carving out the space. Um, and to put something in it and say, we're gonna have this, it's usually a bit backwards, like, yeah, yeah, we'll get there. But from the beginning of Ron McDonnell House, when we were sitting as a team brainstorming, um, Michael Green, the lead architect, was like, there's gonna be a slide. Like, we have to have a slide. And so, like, that was for sure the thing that was going to be there. And so, other than that, the the design came after that, but it was a front front runner for what it was gonna be around.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

Yeah, it's it's really cool to me how Dave, you I guess, has been you guys have been able to, you know, just build the wings too. So there's, you know, there's for those that don't know, there's four different kitchens and eating areas, and they all have a different little vibe to it, which is super cool. And and it just kind of gives, you know, families a little bit extra space and and stuff like that. Um one of also my favorite rooms in the house is the Lego room.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

It uh it's cool to it's cool to go there and just see you know all the kids that have kind of they've all seem to put their name on it and they they make it all out of Lego and it's uh it's pretty cool. I'll try to find a clip and and put it up so people can kind of see what we're talking about. Um and uh it just it's it's one of the most heartwarming places I've ever been. In in a sense of just knowing what's happening inside. But also to, you know, just the same kind of feeling you had when when you were first told that you guys were going around with Donald House and you knew what it was like. It you do walk in knowing what's happening in there, and then what it feels like walking through the doors. Yeah. That is just a place full of love. Absolutely. It's really cool. You you guys did an amazing job on the house and just every little piece of it, and um you know, we'll get to the point of the new house too, um, closer to the end. And um, so walk me through the like after the first 10 days, you know, you guys have kind of like got ish bearings, maybe at that point. Yeah. Um what was next step? You know, you guys try to like understand protocol and and everything else, and um how's he doing at that point?

SPEAKER_00 19:33

Um kids are so resilient. Um so when we arrived um at BC Children's Emergency, um, he had a platelet count of nine, which is wildly low. So if he if he had the energy to run around, you know, bump his head or whatnot, he could have bled out internally without any indication. So once they gave him that transfusion, it was like somebody flipped a switch and suddenly you went from zero to 60 and he was back in action. And um, you know, kids have these, they've got the IV and they've inserted his port, and you as the parent are kind of um we never wanted to be the helicopter type parents, and so now you're kind of stripping away that mentality, and you're like, okay, we gotta bubble wrap this kid. And you know how like energetic this kid is. He he was the kid that wore a life jacket on the dock and you had to tie a rope to it at one year old because he would just jump in, and then he liked it, so he just kept doing it. So having this surgery where they put the port into his chest, and you can't really bump that. So you're like, okay, how do we guard this? And then he's got IVs and he's got everything going on, but he's just so resilient that um you're trying to safeguard him through this, and he's got this house where he's you know, he's up and down, he's feeling great, he's not feeling great. And so you're kind of just rolling with however he's feeling about what he wants to do, where he wants to go.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

What would you tell a mother, a father, somebody who is getting this news, you know, right now or or is like in the thick of it? What would you tell them from going through and and going through it yourself? What would you tell them right now?

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Um to let go of control and just let it fade away so that the Services that they have in place can come and help you. Because when you're in that situation, there's nothing you can do. So you want some form of control. And you'll just continually try to chase that. Um, so the the best advice that I had got from the doctors was to let go, um, which freed me up to just be there for um whatever my son and daughter needed in that moment. And what we got back from that, um we didn't project our fears of what could be onto him because he was not at all aware of what could be. So he was just so focused in the moment. If he was feeling good, he was feeling good, if he was feeling bad, we just navigate that, get him what he needed, make it right. Um so I think just letting go of that control and having things a certain way is literally just going minute to minute and and let everything else fade away.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

What would you tell a husband and wife that have that is hearing news about their child like this? And and what does it take to be a team and a strong couple in a scenario like that?

SPEAKER_00 23:25

Um it's definitely having the other person's back. So um life is still continuing on. There's bills to be paid, there's jobs to be worked. It doesn't stop with this. So it's just understand kind of that that everybody's trying to do their best and support where you can and when you can. So if um, for example, they have um the group dinners, and so we have just two kids. So one of us is going up, getting things organized, one's kind of on duty with Finley. So if there's a he's on steroids, so I guess you could imagine what a toddler on steroids they want something, they want it now, and dishes are being thrown. And so you're just kind of ready for that, where the other person's navigating it, and um, you're just filling in where you can't. There's it's nonstop, and it's everybody's exhausted. So you just do your best to kind of support the other person where you can.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

What did that support look like?

SPEAKER_00 24:38

Um, we had so much community support um from the places we worked to um our community in the Okanagan to we lived in Vancouver for 12 years. So we had a community that was supporting us there. Um, and the community at Roll McDonald's House. So whatever you needed, there was somebody ready to support you. Um, so we were able to support each other in the day-to-day. So he was able to be at Roll McDonald's House with me and um just leaning on each other and trying to just keeping that common um goal of okay, here's what we're here for, here's what we need to do, and putting the kids first and foremost. Um everybody was working towards the same goal. So wherever you needed to step up, you just could step up for that person in that moment.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

Walk me through um your guys's like kind of life before this and how it really like put everything on pause. How did that pause work? And how did uh you know the jobs and all of the things that you needed to do at home, you know, who was there to support? How did you guys get that support? And and you know, how how did that all work when you guys were kind of uprooted instantly and and brought down to BC Children's?

SPEAKER_00 26:13

Yeah. My um husband works for a company, Kelona MatCon, since he was 14 years old. Um, and they just said, don't worry about it, we got you, whatever you need, just let us know. So he was able to go down. Um, I had my own design firm at that time. So I on that ambulance ride, it was reach out to clients, say, here's the situation. I was able to drop ones that were just kind of getting started, and then the ones that were, I was luckily in between, so I was just finishing some up. I was able to hand that off to another interior designer, and then it was like, okay, we're gonna figure that part of it out. Um and you just felt supported by your community. There was one thing that really shaped our situation. Um when you get the worst news just like that, you know what the worst case scenario is. So you're like, okay, that's the worst. The only way to go about this is just the polar opposite. So if we know what the worst is, everything else needs to be positive because there's no other choice. Um, so you're there was definitely a shift. I was never that positive before this. Um so when you get in that mindset and it felt like you're manifesting that, like everything is positive. When we would get stuff back from the doctors, we would focus on what the positive parts were, and it's like, okay, let's just keep moving forward on that.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

How long was the first kind of stint of treatment and protocol? And how long was it was like your guys' first kind of long period stay at Ronald McDonald House?

SPEAKER_00 28:16

Um, it was a two-month stay um where he was getting his chemo and steroid treatments. So that was kind of the most intensive part was the way they do it is they hit um leukemia fast and hard. Um so it kind of brings them to the point of what feels like death and then rebuild from there. Um so that was kind of the intensive portion of treatment when we were at Ronald McDonald's house for two months, and that portion fell over Christmas, I believe. So we spent our first Christmas away from home. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

What did Christmas in that with that going on? How did that how hard was that?

SPEAKER_00 29:13

I thought that it would be really hard because I love Christmas and we um we've always been around family and friends, and so it it I think the hardest part was no snow. So um what they do at Roll McDonald House during Christmas is amazing. Um there's so many activities and support and stuff for the kids to do to make it exciting. I remember there was a party and um they brought this bubble machine so it looked like snow and it was cookie decorating and wreath making and everything that you would want to do at Christmas time. They had that going on at Rawl McDonald's House. Um and then they have um where you kind of you can't even imagine, like you're really living moment to moment. So there's not really a thought about Christmas. What are when am I gonna go shopping? Like you're not even your head space isn't there. So they're they have this toy room absolutely filled that you just go shopping in where you just go, and you take as much as you like for whatever your kids you think they would like, and like they'll wrap it, they'll put it under the tree for Christmas morning, and like you didn't have to leave, you didn't have to go and think about it or do anything. It was just everything was brought right to you before you could even think about it.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

For those listening and watching, the we host a toy drive every year called Cars and Toys. And our toys that are donated, so we have Santa come in this building and we set it up like Christmas, and um people walk through the door, they bring a an unwrapped toy that they donate for a picture of Santa. And those toys go exactly where you were just talking to the North Pole at Rome McDonald House to um to families like yourselves uh going through a time that they didn't the last thing they need to be thinking about is what should I get my kids for Christmas? So um, yeah, for those listening and watching that have been a part of it and and this is why, and it's really cool to hear that because um you know we go down and we decorate our tree and we spend a lot of time around Christmas at Ramadan House and to know, you know, even for my staff, you know, listening and watching, to know that there's families like yourselves that were down there and how important that room was. Yeah. Um, so just huge shout out to our great community at August Motor Cars and people who support that because that is um exactly why we do that on Christmas.

SPEAKER_00 32:10

It was incredible.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

It's uh it it is very magical when they light the tree in there and and have all the trees and stuff. They've um you're able to sponsor a tree at Ralmadal House and uh as a business or or personally, and and go down and decorate your tree and and set it all up in the main kind of living area, the living room they call it. And uh just makes it feel so festive and just a place where you know people are are just giving because of the people that are in it and and the difference that it makes. Um was there was there a staff member or volunteer or another family that became a huge part of your guys' story?

SPEAKER_00 32:51

Um we did um connect with there were probably two families. There was one who are actually also in the Okanagan at the time they were from up north but moved to the Okanagan afterwards. Um their daughter was diagnosed the same um day as Finlay was, and they had the same protocol through their entire treatment, which is unheard of. Like usually one child will get sick, and so their treatments will delay and back and forth. And the two of them stayed on par the entire way through. So we kind of would connect. Um, so the way you kind of get to meet people in Rawl McDonald's house is just um your interactions in the common spaces. Um, a lot of kids who are on steroids are eating all the time round the clock. So it's not uncommon to meet somebody in the kitchen at 2 a.m. preparing something else. And then we met another family who um had a daughter at the mental health facility next door. Um, and so we connected with them because her daughter was often over there, that she kind of interacted with my kids. And um, when you're in there and you're cooking something and one's freaking out and the other one wants something, um, there will be other parents who will just step in and get what you need when you need it without even needing you to ask.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

Yeah. Oh cool. With with being on the same protocol as another family and it all kind of always lining up. Um is was that a family that you guys still connect with today? Yeah. Yeah. Tell me a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

Um so yeah, we've stayed in touch. Um, then they moved to the Okanagan. Um, so we made a point of connecting for coffee and kind of going through, you know, talking about how the kids are doing now. And do you notice this or do you notice that, or is this a concern for you? Or um are you still seeing your same oncologist, or have you gone through the process of finding somebody new locally and um just a lot of back and forth and and seeing how each other are coping after that, kind of sharing your mental health story after dealing with something like that? You have somebody then you can connect with over that. Um, so it's really special. Um, I reached out to her last week when we were trying to get um letters to our local MLA in favor of um the BC government supporting with funding um the new Ron McDonald Willow House. So I it was easy, easy ask saying, Can you write this letter? Absolutely. I'll write this letter, I'll send it to everybody I know, and we'll keep this going. So um we'll just those people come to mind every once in a while. And so it's just shooting them a text message, seeing how they're doing, getting together for coffee. We have another family that we met at the house, they're from Pentikton. Um, and we were up camping at Hidden Lake, and um we saw this family. We're like, I don't know why, why they look familiar. And both of our sons were the same age there at the same time. And so we had reconnected at this campground. So then we were in touch over the that, and I reached out to them last week. Um, so yeah, just constantly keeping in connection. You think of them at holidays, and um, and every time we go to treatment or a follow-up appointment, we would just connect. And so it's it's really cool.

SPEAKER_01 36:51

How long did treatment last? And like what was there a point, you know, after that kind of first couple months that scared you again? Oh yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:04

Yeah. Every every milestone, um, you have such great support and it's so intensive at the beginning. So even that first when you had to leave the hospital after 10 days, it felt so unsafe. Like, how can I possibly take my kid outside of these walls? Um, I know Rawl McDonald House has a separate HVAC for each room. So I know that the air that's circulating is not coming from another one because immunocompromised children is a big concern that whole time through. I can't even imagine what that would feel like with COVID having to stay anywhere but Rawl McDonald House. Um, so every milestone that we had and moved through was the next hard thing. It felt like. How could we possibly, even when we were leaving Rawl McDonald House, how are we gonna leave this place? Um, and every increment of treatment that was a big one because it it went from every single day you're getting blood work to every couple days to, and it it goes and every six months, and then that leap to every year, and you're like every single time you're afraid to go to the next phase because you're afraid something might get missed, and you're just used to that level of somebody always has your back, somebody's always watching. Um, so yeah, when you do come away from that and um you've done your treatment, you've finished everything, there's this intense fear um that you try to get rid of. And um I have a five-year milestone, so that's cancer free.

SPEAKER_01 39:07

That's so amazing.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

Yeah, so that's a September.

SPEAKER_01 39:15

What is that what does that day in September look like to you when it comes?

SPEAKER_00 39:25

I don't know. All I can picture is ringing a bell.

SPEAKER_01 39:31

Very cool. Yeah. Very cool. What would your family have done without Ronald McDonald House?

SPEAKER_00 39:39

I think with Ronald McDonald House it gave us a feeling of safety and control that our environment was controlled. So I think without that, it would be the complete opposite that you because because of their immunocompromised system, you're constantly on alert of of everything. To be honest, I was relieved when we had COVID because suddenly everybody else was masking up and washing hands and all the things that we've been doing for two years. So at Ronald Donald House, everybody's in the same situation. Everybody's washing hands, they're aware of being sick. You can't come to the house when you're sick. So you know that you're in the most safe place you can be. Um, and that brings that level of safety and comfort that you can't get anywhere else. Um, so I think without that, there would be a lot of stress, a lot of panic, um, and a lot of uncertainty on top of what was already uncertain.

SPEAKER_01 40:55

What does life look like today?

SPEAKER_00 40:58

Life's great today. Um, our son Finley is um not only healthy, but thriving. Um he's done so well in um his recoveries from treatment. Um he we celebrated a lot of the small wins in each of our protocol phases, um, whatever it was. And he kind of that experience to him, um having cancer, living in Ronald McDonald's house, he describes it as the best time of his life. Yeah. So that's um as a parent, that's the best outcome you could uh hope for.

SPEAKER_01 41:55

Um why does he say that?

SPEAKER_00 41:59

He I think for kids in all of their resiliency they we focused on a lot of the good. Um I don't know if he forgets the bad. Um we have he has this one, it's called a dog mask, um that they push medications through. So he went to the emergency room with croup and they pushed it through, and he had to be wrapped up. And so that was like one of his biggest fearful memories. Um, and he's able to kind of override that fear with the happy memories. So for him, he was with his family um every day for two years. Um his sister was there, his parents were there, the world revolved around him and his needs. Um, the doctors, the nurses, everybody spoke to him. Like he wasn't just a patient. Um at Rawl McDonald's House, he was able to do whatever he wanted. So every memory he has, those are core memories being built. So when you come down on Christmas morning and you have 12 trees lining the rooms, like, of course that's gonna be better than one. Um when you can eat at all hours, whatever you want, of course that's the best thing ever. So the way the community at Ronald McDonald's House is they have um volunteers coming in, they have exciting things happening, and these are the memories in the ages where they're shaped. So, even my daughter at a time where as an adult, I'm concerned, how is she coping? We're taking her out of school. She doesn't get to do this, she doesn't get to do that. Whereas she's not thinking about that way. She's thinking about what she does get to do. Oh, I went downstairs and this person gave me this, and then I got to do that, and this was really fun. And so they're focused on all the great things as kids. So that's kind of what shaped his memory about that.

SPEAKER_01 44:31

What was a memory for you personally that took you almost out of what was happening in your life? Like something that, you know, that happened at the house that kind of gave you a a second to kind of step back and like breathe and just was there a time that you had that you were able to kind of disconnect from everything that's happening and just like I don't know, let your hair down a little bit kind of thing. Was there was there ever a time that you you were able to feel that way?

SPEAKER_00 45:03

I think uh having Roll McDonald's house, we were able to have fet friends and family come and visit. Um and when you have those core people kind of helping you, you feel supported. So you can, okay, I can like leave this place for a moment to go out and get a walk and um kind of be myself. And so friends being able to come and visit and kind of pull you out of that for a moment would probably have been that.

SPEAKER_01 45:41

The support is everything I've you know heard and families I've talked to has always been the support from the friends and family and and stuff like that. It just it gives you that kind of warm and kind of cozy feeling that that you know there's it's more than just like your the four of you in your family fighting for someone's life. It's yeah, you know, it's able to and I think that's nice that the house allows that and gives the ability to do that. And you know, people listening that with families kind of going through this, it's really important to do that intentionally and you know, show up and be there and don't think you're a burden. I don't I think a lot of people think that they would be a burden if they were to come and just like offer help and and because no one's asking for it, right? It's always tough for a person to to kind of go out and say, like, you know, I'm gonna come do this for you and just make the decision and do it. Just go and do it. They're going to appreciate it, I promise you. And it could be something big, it could be something small, it could be a text, it could be something. So I would encourage, you know, those listening and and people that know someone going through it too, to just do the thing. Just do it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:48

Yeah. We had so many times people would ask us, can I bring you dinner? What do you need? And and because we were living moment to moment, we didn't know if we'd be at the hospital that night or not. But when you just had that meal brought to you and you didn't have to make one more decision, do I need this? Do I not need this? If we didn't need it, some other family there needed that. So um even we had donations that would come to us without asking for donations. We said, Do we do we need this money? I don't know. Do we need this money? It was kind of scary because people are giving you money when you don't know if you need money. Um we didn't need it in that moment. So we were able to pass that on to families who really, you could see, did need that. Um, so that's kind of, yeah, your your efforts are never at a loss. It'll make its way to somebody who needs it.

SPEAKER_01 47:45

Um you're in the middle of helping design the new house. So for those listening, just give a little bit of a kind of rundown as what that what that's looking like. And and um, I know you just kind of spoke to it earlier of of you know the house is looking to we're looking for funding and everything else. And I think that's uh that's a lot of what what this conversation could do. And if people listening can help support that. And um, yeah, so just give us a kind of a quick idea as to what the new house is gonna do and and kind of where everything's at there.

SPEAKER_00 48:23

So the new house, uh Ron McDonnell House, Willow, is a mass timber uh tower that will house 73 families each night. Um this is for long-term stays. For example, when we stayed for two months, that's the type of place we would go to. Um the current Royal McDonald House Heather is set up for a short-term stay with shared kitchens and um this ones would have kitchens up in uh the residence suites. Um so that's something that um from the time that we started our treatment at BC Children Children's Hospital to now, there's this wild increase in um patients, which I don't understand it, but there is an increased need for families because currently uh 500 families each year are being turned away from Ronald McDonald House because there's simply not enough room. Um, so this would make a huge difference in the capacity that they could take on.

SPEAKER_01 49:38

One thing that in talking to Richard and the team on the new house is that I found really important that I wouldn't really have thought of before is and maybe you would be able to speak to it just being there with your whole family, but you know, they're the the the rooms now are more like a dorm room, kind of right? Yeah. This the new house with it being more of a suite gives gives the like husband and wife and the parents like a minute to like hold each other, cry, you know, just be where you know the rooms now, it's open and you kind of have to find that space to to do that. And I think it would just make it a little bit easier as a whole family to be able to stay in one space.

SPEAKER_00 50:22

Um I don't know your thoughts on that, but yeah, I definitely do have thoughts on that when you have um a toddler who is screaming and losing their mind and and wants food now, and you're like, I'm gonna take you to this communal kitchen and disrupt all these people because we just gotta get food and we gotta get it now. And um it's there is a need for it kind of directly in your room as well. So I think it kind of meets, you know, I don't have to go downstairs at 2 a.m. to cook this, which is a huge benefit. Um, which, you know, if it's just me and the kids, it it's right there for you. I don't have to think, okay, well, what if my daughter wakes up and I'm downstairs making this? And um so it keeps that whole portion together. The ideas of the kitchens downstairs, there is that community-building component. Um, it brings people out of their rooms so that they're not isolated and alone. Um, in this new tower, I am very excited that they have both of those things. Um so, you know, when somebody does receive bad news that they can just hole up in their room until they're ready to come face the world. So I I definitely am excited about that component in this new house.

SPEAKER_01 51:50

What's what's Finlay like today? And what's like what's what's exciting to him? Is he in sports? Is he what's his what's his uh what is he doing today that you're super proud of him for?

SPEAKER_00 52:04

Um he he's a bit of an old soul. Um he loves the outdoors. Um he's in sports, he's active as can be. He's playing hockey and baseball and soccer and guitar. He actually got his interest in guitar from Ronald McDonald's House for their music program. Um so he is just into everything. Every birthday, instead of um gifts, he he asks for kids to donate to Ronald McDonald's House. And then when we go down for our yearly treatment or checkup, sorry, he does that donation either to Ronald McDonald House or BC Children's Hospital. So um yeah, he is healthy and thriving and um a really cool kid.

SPEAKER_01 52:58

So well, in September that you mentioned, would be five years. Um will you guys be going back down for for any type of checkups?

SPEAKER_00 53:12

Um, so our oncologist is retiring this year. We've been so fortunate um to move with him through the entire thing. We tried a remote one, but Finley loves going to BC Children's Hospital so much um that he's requested that we go down. It's we go, we get to stay with my cousin, we um go out for dinner, and when he goes to BC Children's, everybody's so thrilled to see him and how much he he's grown. And so he really loves that connection to everybody that he knew from that part of his life.

SPEAKER_01 53:48

Would it be something if we can, the people listening to be able to donate like to something for him that he can then take to the house or or wherever he wants to? Like I think that's a really cool story, and I think what it does too is it helps shows kids listening and people watching to instill that into the young generation that you know to give back and to you know, good things happen to good people, be a be a be a person and do where you can kind of do how you can help others. And um, you know, maybe that would be something we could do on here because every one of these episodes, people are able to go to augustafterdark.com and go and donate. So we'll make sure that that link ties to in his name. And we can maybe help surprise him in September when he goes down five years cancer-free to make that donation to BC Children's or or Ron McDonald House, whichever one he's choosing.

SPEAKER_00 54:47

That'd be amazing.

SPEAKER_01 54:49

I'd love to be able to spearhead that if I could.

SPEAKER_00 54:51

Yeah, I'd love that.

SPEAKER_01 54:53

I think that would be a a really fun thing to be able to share on this conversation. And and for the next uh four or three podcasts after this, we'll all be in support of of uh of Finley and and his five years of cancer free.

SPEAKER_00 55:10

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 55:11

Um I'm gonna take our last lap, our last question. If we if we were to have him listen right now, what would you say to him?

SPEAKER_00 55:23

Um I think that through his whole experience that I've learned more from him in how to live life, him in the last five years than I have my entire life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:48

What an amazing guy. I look forward to meeting him.

SPEAKER_00 55:51

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 55:52

And thank you for your time. Thank you. Thank you for um actually I probably say this in b on behalf of everybody at Ronald Donald House and everybody, every family that's gone through and and and been a visitor of Ronald Donald House. It's not easy to share the story, I'm sure. Um I think on behalf of everybody, just thank you for spending this time with me and um bringing awareness to how important it is for families to have that support and that help. I'm happy to. Yeah, thank you so much. And um, again, augustafterdark.com, and there'll be a link in our description and below to uh go help donate to make Finlay's gift and his five-year cancer free super impactful. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 56:41

It's very cool. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 56:43

My pleasure. So this month we are helping Finley raise some money because in September he will be five years cancer free. And it would be really cool for us to all kind of come together as one and let him donate a really cool amount of money to the places that kept him alive.