August After Dark
A conversation podcast with Matt August, founder of August Luxury Motor Cars. exploring the stories, strategies, and mindsets behind building a life and business worth talking about.
August After Dark
How to Survive A Marriage in 2026 (conversation with my wife)
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What does it actually take to build a life with someone?
Not the Instagram version. The real one, with near-death accidents, broken bones, a brain bleed, fertility struggles, and the kind of storms that either break a couple apart or make them unbreakable.
In this episode, Matthew sits down with his wife Adria for one of the most honest conversations we've put on record. They go back to the beginning: six years of friendship before anything romantic, the moment everything shifted at the Dream Rally, and what it actually felt like to choose each other.
Then they get into the hard stuff.
Ryder's snowboard accident, which left him with a broken neck, bruised organs, and a lost kidney, and the moment Adria stood at the bottom of the ski hill wondering if her son was still alive. Months later, within the same year, Adria's own near-fatal horse accident: 14 crushed bones, a brain bleed, a punctured lung, and being dragged through the forest. Matthew flying through a lightning storm in a helicopter to reach her.
The long road back, and the small wins that rebuilt her, from passing her real estate exam when everyone said she'd fail, to the day she swam across the lake and sold her first home.
Through all of it, they talk about what they learned about love, vulnerability, community, and what it really means to choose the right person to walk through life with.
This one will stay with you.
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TIMESTAMPS
0:00 – The accidents that tested everything
3:19 – The Dream Rally that changed how she saw him
8:56 – The test begins: Ryder's snowboard accident
11:05 – "Is he dead?" — the moment at the ski hill
18:58 – Adria's horse accident: 14 crushed bones and a brain bleed
20:40 – Flying through a lightning storm to reach her
31:40 – Passing the exam everyone said she'd fail
35:12 – One day: the swim and her first home sale
44:57 – Full circle: 23 weeks pregnant
59:00 – What it all comes down to: Community
1:00:53 – The most important decision I ever made
Unfortunately, it was just a freak accident. A horse spooped and took off and ran me into a tree, knocked me out, so I had um a brain bleed and 14 crushed bones on the side of my body. Very lucky to be alive. After my brain injury, my goal was to pass my real estate license. I remember having to line a piece of blank paper across it, and I'd read one line and I'd get to the end and I wouldn't remember what I read.
SPEAKER_01The most important decision I ever made was not a car deal, it was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and you're now 23 weeks pregnant.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01What does that mean to you?
SPEAKER_00Well, it's the greatest thing I've ever done.
SPEAKER_01You don't truly know if you chose right until life tries to take it all away. Tonight is that story. We've been through major life-threatening events. Our son Ryder was in a snowboard accident, hospitalized for weeks, with a broken neck, a fractured pelvis, bruised internal organs, and a kidney that stopped working. Just as he was coming out of recovery, Adria was in a life-threatening horseback riding accident. It left her on the ground, miles away from help, with 13 broken bones, a brain bleed, and a punctured lung. What happened coming out of that shaped everything and how we rebuilt, why August Real Estate started, the community we built, the events we hold, and now bringing another child into this world. This is full circle. This is what tested our marriage one year in. This is August after dark. Most people think the biggest decision they'll ever make is a business, a house, a career. It's not. It's who you chose to build your life with. I made that choice, and one year in, life tried to take it all. Tonight you're going to hear how I chose her and how I found out it was right.
SPEAKER_00All right, babe.
SPEAKER_01Welcome to where I've been spending the last couple of months.
SPEAKER_00So nice to see you.
SPEAKER_01Thanks for spending the time. I know this isn't something that you uh love, but I appreciate you being here. Um take me back to the first time we met. Oh. Honest first impression. What were you actually thinking?
SPEAKER_00The first time we met? I'm like, I have a vivid memory of when I knew that we potentially had a future. Like it was at the Dream Rally, and I've told you that story. But when we originally met, I feel like it would have been at Spinko. And I think it was just kind of been passing. I do remember trying to sell my avalanche three at one point, and you laughed because you thought avalanches were a horrible vehicle to drive. And then you kind of went down in my books a little bit then. But I think I we we were just around each other lots through Spinco.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I would say the first time I remember meeting you is at Spinco as well. And you would bring Ryder into Spinco and he would sleep underneath the benches while you'd do your workout and stuff. Um what were you looking for in a partner at that time in your life?
SPEAKER_00Uh well, when we first met, we were you and I were friends. I think we were both in relationships, so I wasn't looking for anything in a partner. Um, but I can remember at the first moment um when I looked at you differently was at the dream rally. Do you remember what year that would have been?
SPEAKER_0120.
SPEAKER_00I was driving the yellow Hummer.
SPEAKER_012017, maybe 2018? Yeah. It was actually no, it was the first, second dream rally. It was a second dream rally because we went to Pentick and to the beach.
SPEAKER_00Yep. Yeah, to barefoot.
SPEAKER_01And I gave you a yellow H1 Kaboo.
SPEAKER_00Two co-pilots. I got to have that year.
SPEAKER_01What was that experience like for you?
SPEAKER_00Um driving the dream rally. Probably like a lot more in-depth than I would have expected. I think I showed up just wanting to drive a cool car and do something good and um be a part of this event that had gained so much momentum in our city, and I'd heard so much about it that I just, yeah, I just wanted to be a part of it. And um when I had those girls and I had that opportunity to have a conversation with them for what, an hour, I guess, was our drive down, um, and even meeting their parents and just hearing their stories. Uh, it was so much more impactful than I anticipated. And I don't even believe that year I had the experience of going to the after party. I don't think I was able to go. So it was probably the year after that I had the full effect of the Dream Rally, which is at the after party talking to the donors and the drivers and everyone sharing their stories of like life change that day of um what they experienced with their co-pilots and a lot of tears. I think there's two parts to the day, right? There's the community, um the community aspect of it, and there's there's that event, the the day event, and then there's a whole nother level of depth when you're in the room after with all these like really special people that have given up their time and talents and treasures to make that day possible. So more than I expected.
SPEAKER_01When we first decided we were gonna dating after six years of being friends, did you have a checklist? Did I check the boxes or did you throw that list out?
SPEAKER_00I still have the list.
SPEAKER_01So we're still working on checking them off. Okay, great.
SPEAKER_00I haven't checked it for a while, but it's still written down. Yeah, I just I remember doing like pros and cons. Not that you have many cons, but I remember doing a pros and cons list when we were starting to get serious of um obviously I fell in love with you for your heart for community. That was a big one. Um, our sense of like adventure and wanting to be outdoors together. That was big for me. Um I remember your love of your family was on there as a pro. You've obviously erased all the cons from my memory now. I don't remember. Um but uh what was I looking for? I think I was like my first feeling that was different with you was a sense of like whenever we were in the same room together and I looked up, you were always looking at me and you were always like, I felt like you were always like making sure I was okay.
SPEAKER_01I was just checking to sure if you're still hot.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you're just checking me out. But I just remember having that feeling of like, I guess that's a safety piece, right? Like every time I'd look to to see what you were up to, or and you were looking at me and you were checking in, and um if I felt cared for.
SPEAKER_01What qualities do you believe are truly unnegotiable in a life partner?
SPEAKER_00Honesty. Um I think that would be top being able to communicate and not breaking each other's trust, I think are is big. Um I know communication's hard and that's something we build. I think we can speak to that after years. That's something that I think you're always working on. But I think that that's um a big part of the foundation is being able to talk, be able to talk things out.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think communication is is huge. I think it's you know something that you do, you have to work on time and time and after again, and you have to really spend time even like putting a third person in the room and and and doing it that way. And I think it's just you seem to fall in love with someone who's similar but different, and you've grown up in different ways, you have different inner childs and you know, different wounds and all these things that you just need to like really start understanding. And I think it takes a long time and it it it's a it's a rough road to I think get there. But I think the hard work and it pays off.
SPEAKER_00Well, it's just that I always think of it this way of two people can be in the same room and have the exact same experience, the same outer environmental things happen to them, but they will experience it in two different ways. And so when you're sharing life with a life partner, you get into those scenarios where like, no, no, this just happened. And you look at me like, are you on glue? Like, no, this is how it just happened. I'm like, we were both just in that same experience, and we took away different um parts of it, right? That really sat with us for whatever reasons. Um so I think yeah, being able to talk those things through has been key.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna go into the test and call it like the survival we went through. Um so firstly, rider's accident happened. What was the first thing that went through your head? Not the actual fear, but the actual moment that you can't unsee.
SPEAKER_00I think the first thing that I remember is my phone rang and I didn't get to it in time, and then your phone rang and I couldn't hear what was happening, but I knew like just by your reaction. Um, so the first thing that went through my head was I had no idea what was going on, but I knew that it wasn't good. I was just instantly in panic mode. Um yeah, you just can't believe as you as the details came in, you just can't believe it's actually happening. Especially when we were just starting an amazing family day weekend up at the condo, ready for packed for adventure, and it just like changed like that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we had like Ryder's friend there, and we had the side by side with the skis on the roof, and we were ready to go with the sleds ready, and we were ready to go out to the backside, and we were gonna be able to the kids jump and have like a full day of like cat skiing and sled skiing, and and uh the boys went out for a like two runs while the meatloaf was in the oven. Yeah, in an unfortunate snowboard accident. Uh I think you actually said it the most to me when he was coming down the the run. If I could have drove, so we got the call. We got in the we were driving, I was driving like a Cadillac Escalade at the time. And I remember driving up the road to Tells Park, and I was like, maybe I can just jump the snowbank and actually just drive the truck right up the hill. But I remember you saying it the best where you know Ryder was wrapped up in the sled and being towed down by one of the ski patrols, and the question that went through your head was, is my son alive? Yeah. Walk me through what that felt like, and you know, as a mom that's you know raised him majority on his on your own and and stuff like that. How did that land and and where did your head go?
SPEAKER_00Well, first I was surprised I actually couldn't run up the hill. Like I thought that like this mama bear adrenaline instinct would kick in. So I remember starting to try to run, and he was like halfway up Tellus Park. So I don't know how many feet, meet meters, yards that would have been. It was it was a bit of a haul, and I was certainly not gonna make it. Um, but I remember trying. And then I remember like that feeling in your throat where um I realized I'm like, I can't run anymore. And I had to retreat and come back down to where you were standing and wait for him. That was probably the hardest minutes. I don't even recall how long it was, but that seemed like forever. Um, and then yeah, when I saw him coming down, it was just that like this, yeah, this can't be happening. And and I did think that that was kind of the end. Like I didn't it didn't look good. So I was yeah, I don't know. I was I was just in shock. Um but when I was able to because his face that was what the odd thing to me too is they had him completely covered up. So the fact that I couldn't even see him, I thought for sure they were like hiding something from me, like they were trying to kind of protect me. So um, anyways, yeah, when when he did get close enough and and I was able to to hear him and I was obviously screaming, um, I heard him say, sorry, mom. So then I knew then I knew it was gonna be okay. I didn't know the journey that we had ahead of us, but I was just that was a moment I was so grateful just to hear his voice.
SPEAKER_01Walk us through that journey a little bit.
SPEAKER_00Um well, the the care we received was phenomenal. Um, both actually at the ski resort was um yeah, they were so on top of it. The obviously, again, everything felt like it slowed down and it was in slow motion for me. That ambulance ride down every bump, they were going so slow because he did have so many um internal injuries and uh like a broken neck, um, and a lot of other things that they were worried about. And he was in and out of consciousness as we were going down. So um, but then getting to the hospital, the trauma team was phenomenal. We were there, there was no waiting. They were right on top of everything. Um, the support staff, even as our family started to arrive, and we were in that little um that room that we all were able to gather in and have like some um quiet time as a family while the news kept getting delivered to us of of what we were gonna be dealing with. Um and then what I remember is being able to stay with him. I was so grateful that while we were in the ICU, they didn't, they didn't question. I don't know if they saw the look in my face and knew I wasn't going anywhere, but they didn't question bringing a a bed in there and rolling it right beside him so I could reach out and touch him and not that I slept, but just watch the monitors beeping and as he was hooked up to tubes and wires and yeah, it was a long few days, weeks, whatever however long we were in there, I guess like two weeks.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, two weeks, and he ended up with a broken neck, bruised organs. Um he whacked his head pretty good, so severe concussion. Uh he lost a kidney and all this, and um you know, I I still to this day I don't think he really remembers most of it. Um but you know, we were able to we were up actually in the children's area and they kept us pretty comfortable. We had a nice little room and we were able to stay there if we wanted and were able to watch Super Bowl from from his room. I remember that. Yeah. And uh yeah, it's uh it was special to see the care and and attention he got and and stuff like that for sure. What do you think he's learnt out of that?
SPEAKER_00I it oh I don't think it slowed him down much. He's uh an adventurous, he likes to push the boundaries, he likes to learn the hard way for sure. Um, but I I do remember him saying to me um part of his like apology. Uh not that he needed to apologize to me, but I think um I do remember him saying, like, yeah, sorry, mom. And then his reasoning behind why he made the choices he did to lead up to the accident of being careless, um, was he didn't realize he could get hurt. Like he'd seen all these things on YouTube and he'd seen all these influencers doing all these cool things, and he'd never broken a bone in his body, and he was quite athletic, and everything he did, he was kind of successful at. He was excelling at hockey, he was, you know, doing backflips, and you guys had just been cat skiing and like some pretty sick powder. So he was doing all sorts of tricks and had a big pillow to land in, and he just felt overconfident and uh and actually didn't realize that he could be injured because unfortunately he didn't just break a bone at a younger age and had to learn that way. He had to kind of full send and uh and realize that he isn't invincible and that life is really precious and that it can change in an instant. And I think I think he gets that now. I think that was a lesson he was gonna have to learn in some sort of a uh traumatic manner, just knowing his personality, but he sure pushed it to the limit, and yeah, we're very lucky to have him.
SPEAKER_01Yes, we are. We had about what, six six months he was in his neck brace and and things like that, and walk me through six months after that and uh your adventure that you and a girlfriend uh jumped in your car and went up to Hundred Mile House and went horseback riding.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, which is normal for us. We every year um Piper and I go on our our adventure, and for years we had uh gone on a um tour where we were guided through the forest uh on horseback and camped um out in the woods. But this year we decided, or that year, we decided we wanted to go on our own. So we found a ranch that surprisingly still allowed you to do that. And uh yeah, we were taking a little RR time. We had just finished the dream rally, rider was back on his feet, and I thought it was time for me to go have a nice adventure. Um and yeah, we headed out the day one was great, and we were with our guides and we passed all the tests and showed them that we were experienced riders as we both grew up with horses and had horses. Um, and then unfortunately, it was just a freak accident. And again, I've been riding since I was 14 years old and I have never experienced anything like this, but yeah, the horse spooked at we still don't know what and took off and ran me into a tree and uh knocked me out. So I had um um a brain bleed and 14 crushed bones on the side of my body, I believe. You probably know the numbers better than me. Um, and then as I fell off my horse, my foot was stuck and I was dragged through the forest. So pretty significant injury. Um, and again, very lucky to be alive. I think the question is, is how did you feel after going through both of these incidences as a newly married father and husband?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, pretty much like, what did I get myself into? Um, no, I mean I remember Piper called me on Facebook. Like, I get a Facebook call from Ashley. And I'm like, okay, what did it say last name either? So I just kind of answered. And I could tell in her voice something had happened, and she said that you'd fallen off a horse, and you were in um a lot of pain and having a hard time moving your moving at all, and that you had cut your head open really good. And uh I remember it was like I was at home alone. I had, you know, I was just tinkering in the yard. I was up early, I was up at like five o'clock, and I was building our gate, I think, our front gate. And uh yeah, I got that call, and my first thing was like, how do I get to Hunter Mile House quickly? And uh I called uh a good buddy of mine who owns a helicopter company and told him what happened and I need to get to Hunter Mile House as quick as possible. And uh the pilot was about an hour away, so we got down to the airport, got the helicopter all fired up and ready to go, and literally flew through a lightning storm on the way there. Yeah I remember having to call out lightning strikes and the diving away from you know clouds and and lightning strikes and stuff, and wondering is this safe? Um, I had my dad with me at the time because he was gonna drive your car back because I figured I'd just throw you in a helicopter and fly home with you. And uh I we both virtually got to the airport or to the hospital, sorry, at the same time. And uh I remember being allowed to go in to the ER or to the emergency area, and I saw you strapped to a board with a neck brace and uh the big gash on your forehead. And uh at that point I was like, I don't think she's coming back with me in the helicopter. And I knew we were we were in one and we just had to survive and And get through it. Um we sent my dad and Ashley back in the helicopter and and uh followed you to the hospital after many of mishaps getting you loaded and and everything else. They found out you had a punctured lung. Um and I guess I just want to go back to like when it happened. I know you don't remember a ton, um but you're laying on the ground, you're miles and miles and away, two-hour horseback ride away from a main road where an ambulance can reach you. Was there anything going through your head at that point that like that you can remember?
SPEAKER_00No, but the um the guide, or like the wrangler, I guess the wrangler who strapped me to the back of the quad to try to get me out to where the ambulance could make its way in um on the trail, she said I just kept saying over and over again, um, like you've got this, you're you're strong, you're okay. And she thought I was talking to her. And she thought that that was like really kind of me to be encouraging her. And I think in hindsight, because I don't remember any of that at all, I think I was talking to myself. I think I was trying to motivate myself to like, I know I was in and out of it, but I think as what would make sense to me is that that was me trying to coach myself through staying with it to get to a hospital.
SPEAKER_01And then we spent about a week in Vernon. And then we spent hundred mile first, right?
SPEAKER_00First hospital we went to.
SPEAKER_01Well, it was hundred mile for a few hours. And then and then two, and they transferred you with like a full ICU team. Um it was an ambulance and then a to Kamloops, right? Or to Kamloops, right? Yeah. And uh yeah, you spent a week and a bit in Kamloops, and then the ICU transferred you from there to Kelowna General Hospital, where we spent another like four or five days, I want to say. Yeah. And then uh obviously coming home, it was you had a broken ribs on this side, on your left side, and a broken foot on your right, so you couldn't really use crutches. Um we had to like make sure you were comfortable and and stuff in the house. Um I'm sure at that time, because you asked why lots, um, when you were asking yourself why, why did this happen um during your recovery and and during those times, what have you found out the why was today?
SPEAKER_00I don't I don't know. I I think all of these traumas and challenges that we went through in the first years of our marriage um did make us stronger for sure. Do I think we needed to go through it that way to build strength in our relationship? No, was that the purpose of it? I don't know. Um, but it did it did show me that you actually thrive under like chaotic, uh traumatic scenarios. Um you get real calm, real logical, and you just plug through it like it's just kind of an everyday, and you just take it like one thing at a time. Um so that's definitely built confidence in me in our relationship, knowing that like I'm with someone who can handle these kinds of things. Um again, I think that that could have been an easier way for us to figure that out. Um what did you learn personally?
SPEAKER_01Like, what did you find? Did you find some sort of superpower coming out of this that you didn't know you had?
SPEAKER_00You know, if if the one thing I learned, um, which again I had to learn the hard way, which is something I've passed down to to writer as well, is I had to slow down. I think that was something that was really hard for me. And to just being a single mom and being in the hustle for so many years, I I only knew how to hustle and to keep busy. And I didn't really sit with my thoughts. I didn't actually sit ever, like I was always on the go. So um having all these times of limbo where you are stuck sitting, reflecting, processing emotions, not able to find the things that you'd usually find to numb these emotions to get through them, but to actually have to be with them. Um I think that was something that I learned from um and a new skill that I I came out of these injuries with. Like one, knowing that I'm strong and I can get through anything, but I feel like I had that ability before. Like I always kind of thought I could I can head down, um, fake it till you make it, whatever I needed, like I could always like get through any tough moment. Um, but it was the slowing down. It was the not being able to just fill life with um a bunch of activity and fluff to get through the hard stuff, but to actually have to sit and process it and be okay with that and be alone because as much as like family and friends, I had I scheduled so many visits every day, and there was people coming by and it was awesome. Like while you were at work, there was probably at least two or three people that would stop by in a day. Um, but the in-between times of yeah, learning how to let myself rest and heal, and that was the hardest thing for me. Not being able to work out, that's huge for me, and not from a physical standpoint, but from like a mental standpoint, I I need to move my body. It's uh it's for my mental health, I think, even more than anything. Um, so that was really challenging, not being able to do that thing that brings me so much joy and clarity in life.
SPEAKER_01You had a brain bleed and you had a pretty good concussion and and things like that. And I know it you struggled for a bit on on trying to get through that because it's like no TV, it's dark room, it's a lot of like, you know, in your own head and and stuff like that. What were some things that you did to kind of overcome that section of your injury?
SPEAKER_00I still think sometimes that that there's certain things that will still trigger me. Like I remember calling you coming out of a grocery store because I couldn't make a decision on what to grab off of the shelf. Like maybe it was, I don't remember what it was, if it was cereal or crackers. I was just too overwhelmed by the options on the shelf and I had to go into the car. And I made a phone call to you and I, you know, I cried and I allowed myself to be um in that moment. I'm like, this is something that is broken that I need help with. This is something that um isn't isn't going away even after my physical body healed. I was still dealing with those challenges of like being very overwhelmed very easily. Um, and I just had to be able to talk about it, I guess. I just had to be able to acknowledge, like, hey, I'm I'm not broken, but this is something that now feels different for me. And I'm gonna have to figure out a way to be able to cope with this and deal with this because this is everyday life. I'm gonna have to get groceries, and it shouldn't be a um stress-inducing activity. This is a daily activity that I took for granted before. So um yeah, I just had to be able to recognize it and talk about it and and say that yeah, I'm I'm still not okay, and these things are still really triggering for me. And I know like I felt so silly about that. Um, but that was reality.
SPEAKER_01You tested your brain on something that was hard for you and and uh hard for most to do. Um explain to me what that was and and how you got through it.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so we're going there, we're going to Mexico that test. Oh okay. Um yeah, so after my physical injury and my brain injury, my goals were um, because all the injuries were up in in my like shoulder kind of area, um, they were concerned that I would have like a lock shoulder. And they say that that would be very common for the injuries I had. And swimming was great, and I've always loved swimming. So I gave myself a challenge physically was to swim across the lake. And I'd always wanted to do that. I think that's kind of a rate of passage to live in the Okanagan. It's pretty cool to say you've you've done that. Um, so that was my goal. So I think it was just over two, two, is it two and a half kilometers across the lake? So there was that swim. So that was my physical goal. And then my mental goal was um to pass my real estate license. And, you know, everyone said it's a 50% fail rate, and most people fail the first time, and the textbook came and it was this god-awful thickness and small text, and and I couldn't even read it at first. I remember having to take papers and line a piece of um blank paper across it and just go line by line. And I'd read one line and I'd get to the end and I wouldn't remember what I read. And I'd go back and I'd start over. And then I even started doing um, like I would take my textbook into hyperbaric chambers because that was supposed to be, I researched every which way to heal my brain, and I'd go study in a hyperbaric chamber to force myself to be still and uh to focus. Um, and it was awful, and it was like flashcards and it was uh mathematical equations that nobody will ever use that would challenge any brain, I believe. But was extremely challenging for me. And I was like, Yeah, there's a lot of tears through that. But I it wasn't an option not to pass, and it wasn't an option even for me to fail the first time, even though I I was given that freedom. Like anytime I said I was taking this course, people are like, oh, everyone fails. That wasn't gonna be an option for me. I I needed a win. So, like that's that's like part of my recovery is when I feel um when I feel challenged or when I feel like, you know, I've kind of been pushed down. Uh, I need to, I know I need to rise up, I know I need to conquer it, and I know I need to do that by like figuring out what it's gonna be that's gonna be my wins. And whether they're big or little, those are I set those goals. And uh I balled my eyes out when I got my test results back that I had passed. And yeah, that was really meaningful to me. And swimming across the lake. Um, yeah, it was full of tears as I ran across that finish line or wobbled across because my legs barely worked by the time I hit land. And and Ryder was waiting there for me, and he had actually come with me um on the paddle board and encouraged me the whole time, which was uh super powerful to have that because just to know that he was there if I couldn't make it. And then you were in a rescue boat, so you volunteered to help anyone who couldn't make it across and get them on the boat and take them to shore. So I had my whole family support, which is also key in in these wins in my life are definitely um in part because I have a pretty strong support system.
SPEAKER_01As you were saying that, I was like, Oh, I hope I hope she tells everybody that I was actually there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yes, you were there too. We all went as a family that morning. We jumped in the zodiac and boated down, and you guys dropped me off and I made it across.
SPEAKER_01When one of us is breaking.
SPEAKER_00I was actually I was gonna interrupt you because I'm like that day was even more impactful. That those are the two goals I set. I can't recall, like, was it like six months? It would have been almost a year later because my accident happened in August, and I think the swim across the lake was in July. So this is like within the year, overcoming all those physical injuries, swimming across the lake, passing my real estate exam. And that day I swam across the lake, got out, went home, got ready, and went to my very first showing that I sold my very first property to the most amazing family that have now become close friends. Um, and that all happened in one day. And I don't think that that is a coincidence. I think that was to me, like that's a God thing. That's like a, you know what, you put in the work and today's your day to to celebrate, and that was a pretty special day.
SPEAKER_01What would you tell someone listening and watching that is just coming through an accident like that that's like you know, stopped them from doing the things they loved? What would you tell them right now?
SPEAKER_00I I think so much of it is mental, like our body is so much stronger than we realize. I think the hardest part of injury, or maybe this is just for me, is is the mentally coming over or getting over the the challenges that are ahead of you. It just seems so daunting. Um but this too will pass, right? Like every time we go through these hard things, it's not long before you're looking back on it. And in that moment, you can't even imagine like getting through the next hour. But if you can imagine yourself past that finish line, having achieved those goals and look back at yourself, you know, stuck on the couch or wherever you may be, and just imagine that girl that's gonna be there and look at where you're at from like that position of like power and success and achievement, and be like, I'm gonna be there soon and this will pass. And it's just it's that mental game, at least for me it was.
SPEAKER_01And I think one thing too that I had noticed with you going through it was don't set big goals, like set oh yeah, set yourself up for small little wins, like yeah, I'm gonna go upstairs and get my own water today in a safe manner. Yeah, right. I'm not saying that's one, but like just those little tiny things because a a bunch of small goals lead to one big goal. And if you set yourself up, I think through all those goals to that end one, when you when you get there, you just you feel so much more confident. It builds those the confidence from the start all the way to the end. And you know, I think that's part of why you deserve that day of like swimming across the lake and selling your first home and and going through all that in one day is because you set yourself up with small little goals to reach the big goal, and it all kind of happened together, which was which was and I think learning how to celebrate the small things too. It took you a little bit to do that. That was hard for me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm definitely hard on myself. Um, I I would say like, yeah, high achiever. Um, and I could get down on myself pretty easily. I I think through this I've learned also watching Ryder go through the same thing. Like that was almost a blessing that we both went through such traumas within the same year. So I could understand what my son was going through. And then I would see behaviors in him, and then I would realize I'd be like, oh, I need to help him through that. Like he shouldn't be being that hard on himself, or I need to support him in this way. And then I'd look in the mirror. I'm like, shit, I'm doing that same thing to myself. I'm coming down on myself. I'm not celebrating the little wins. I'm so I had to start kind of taking my own advice too, as we were both walking through those journeys together. And head trauma is a real thing. Like, I I definitely have a whole new understanding of it's serious when you hit your head and it is long-lasting. And that was by far, for both of us, the hardest thing to come through. And the thing that I still think affects me in ways I just learned how to live with things or I've learned how to talk about it. Um, but yeah, it's it's nothing to mess around with. Like protecting our head is, I will wear a helmet for all sports moving forward. And I promise to be careful and hopefully not put you through that again.
SPEAKER_01What does it mean to you now to have you know started August Real Estate Group and uh in building that business? What is that? How does that feel after you know year, year and a half of kind of getting to that point?
SPEAKER_00Um well for me it's for me, it's the people. Like it's all about uh the relationships you build. It's such a critical chapter in someone's life. And to be included in that, I see that as being such an honor. So the relationships that I've already built in a year and a half of of being licensed, um, these are these are friends now. Like one of the couples is coming to our baby reveal. Another couple just hosted me in Nashville and showed me the best time. Like these are and are coming to our charity event. Like it's um it's just so awesome to be a part of like such a critical part of someone's life and to build friendships out of that. Um, and then also getting to my check presentations. So that was so special. We just got to do one again like the other day, where 10% of uh my proceeds go back to the community. But instead of us just choosing, because that's a part of our life that we're philanthropic and we feel like good things happen to good people and where it's all about like, you know, you give and it comes around and that's just who we are. Um, but allowing the clients to be the one to choose where the money goes to and to be a part of that philanthropy journey is it has been super fun and like really impactful for for them. So I give them a list of you know, the ones that are near and dear to my heart of our local charities, and they get to choose, or if there's something that's near and dear to them, um, and in honor of them and their family, we donate 10% of the proceeds. So that's a really fun moment. That's probably my favorite part about selling a house is the check presentation.
SPEAKER_01Real estate. How have how has the journey been so far? What do you what are the things you love about real estate? And and what are the things that you're like, why do we do that this way?
SPEAKER_00There's a lot of rules. It is, again, it's the biggest investment. Um, so I understand, but there's a lot of like boards and governing bodies, um, and a lot of I don't know if you want to call it red tape or ways that it's always been done. And so people can't think past that's the way it has to continue to be done when the world is changing so quickly. There's so many ways to do things faster, more efficient. Marketing is key to real estate. Um, the more eyes you can get on a property, the the better chances you are of selling it for the desired value of that property. Um, so being creative and thinking outside the box, it's uh it's a little bit old school in that way. So we've found challenges there where we're trying to think outside of the box and we're trying to um, I guess we push the limits a little bit in in our brand. Um, and so that's that's been interesting. Like it's yeah, it's very structured as it needs to be, obviously. Um, but I think that there's gonna be a lot of growth in in how real estate is is sold and marketed in in the next few years.
SPEAKER_01You you said a part of your favorite um bit about selling a house is the check presentation and things like that. Um, what is a close second? Where where do you feel like when you're listing a home, where do you feel like your energy goes and and and just explain to me how that feeling is when you're you know listing a home with somebody and and uh you know walking through their house for the first time and and meeting them for the first time?
SPEAKER_00I love hearing the stories. I love hearing like what happened within those walls. What did that house mean to that family? Like you've lived here for 20 years. Tell me about your home, but also tell me the life that you lived in this home and on this property. Because I want to find the right person that is going to appreciate all of those things that your family just appreciated growing up there or spending all those time and building all those memories there. Um, so I think it's getting to know the seller. Um, and on the flip side, it's also when you're showing homes and you're representing the buyer, it's it's getting to know them. It's like, I want to know your kids. I don't want to know what they like to do because I want to make sure that you're planted in the right neighborhood because we know the Okanagan really well, being fortunate enough to be raised here. And we have stories and adventures of every corner of this place. Um, and so I want to get to know you so I know where I think that you're gonna best land and settle and be comfortable staying there for long term and putting down roots.
SPEAKER_01We'll go for full circle here. So um you're now 23 weeks pregnant.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01And uh um it's been a journey. Um it's been a it's been a journey. We'll leave it at that, I guess. But uh what does that mean to you?
SPEAKER_00To get to be a mom again? Uh well, it's the greatest thing I've ever done in in life is to uh to be a mom and to raise rider has been by far the greatest joy, also the biggest struggle, but for sure the greatest joy. And um as we were going through our years of of struggles trying to grow our family, um that was the one thing that I kept uh coming back to is how fortunate am I that I've I've already had the experience of being a mom. Um to get pregnant and to have a healthy baby, I think is a miracle. And people maybe don't talk about the struggles that a lot of families have as much as I think it should be. That's why I'm okay talking about it. Um, because it is it's the biggest blessing and it is a miracle, and a lot of people um don't get to have to the place where they get to hold their own baby, right? So um even though we were going through our challenges, I just kept going back, being like, I'm so grateful that I got to experience that. I didn't think that we were gonna be successful in getting to do this again, but I was so grateful that um that I had that experience. And then um, when this little miracle decided that it was time, and and we had so many things we had to go through, and my body had so much trauma that it had to heal from, and um, it just kept putting us behind what our plan was, what we had decided, the time frame was supposed to be and the schedule was supposed to be. But I think little babies come when it's their time and when it's the right time. So yeah, I'm just so grateful to bring life into this world to grow as a human. It's just a wild experience. And from being a baby having a baby to getting to be a mature woman who's experienced an entire raising of another human, bringing him to a stage where he's ready to launch and spread his wings and and go out into this world. And I get to start and do it again. Um, yeah, it's pretty wild, actually. But I have uh such a unique lens of uh how how fat how fast the time goes in that journey, like how 18 years was a blink of an eye. Um and to get to do it with you and like a supportive partner is gonna be it's I I don't even I can't even express like what it's gonna be like because it's gonna be such a different experience for me from being a single mom to actually being loved and supported and in like a family, not my family was very loving and supporting through it, but um you know what I mean, like having having that close partner and building that home. Um yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I think like what we've learned the most in this is like you know, obviously the journey of having a child has been super long and and you know super disappointing at times and sad at times and and you know the accidents and all the things that happened and you know with growing businesses and all these all these things we have going on. Um I think it's always important uh to kind of look at it as you know things happen for a reason. And it's it's kind of all about how you push through it, and I think a lot of people give up and I think a lot of people just you know, it's too hard. And I think you know what we're talking about tonight is is so much about watching that finish line and not losing sight of it. And I think you've done that in a fantastic way, is you've never lost sight of that finish line. And and it's no matter how many times we've been kicked down and and beat up and everything else, we've seemed to uh keep getting closer to that line. And uh I I think that's I think that's something you know for those struggling in whatever it may be, um being positive and taking it.
SPEAKER_00There was also times that I was so broken that I had to stop. For sure. And I had to pause and those were needed, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. That pause was forced.
SPEAKER_00And there was definitely times I was like, that's it, I'm done. I can't do this again. And I think that's okay to go through too. Um because it was it was too much, it was too overwhelming. I I in that moment I couldn't keep going. And then you give yourself some time and you heal, and um you have a very relentlessly positive husband who um yeah, keeps your your eye on the on the target of what we were what we were started out to achieve, and and you realize how much you've already put in, and and then you find the strength within yourself to be like, okay, one more time. Then I swear this is it. But it all worked out.
SPEAKER_01Um with this baby coming into our family, we realize how fragile life is. How do you think we will parent differently?
SPEAKER_00Oh gosh. Well, we've already had a little window into that, you know, as you married me and I was a package, I came with a hairless cat, which you just totally adore, a child, a dog. Um, so we've already had to learn, or we've already seen how different we are in in ways that we were raised. We were both raised by phenomenal families that are still a huge part of our life and are very much um supportive, but in in other ways, like they're so black and white different. So what is normal to you is completely foreign to me and was actually even almost like uncomfortable to me. And I've had to learn to like lean into those things and vice versa for you. Um so I think being parents, what I've already seen in us is you you definitely are bringing the generations before you into like how you're going to parent. Um, and it's gonna come down to communication and it's gonna come down to like we we see each other, like we know each other, we see each other, we we um have great relationships with our families. We understand where we're coming from. So when you do something that doesn't make sense to me, we talk about it. And I understand why you're doing what you're doing, and I think you understand me enough to know why that's odd to me. Um, and we are able to talk through it. So I I I think that there's definitely gonna be like I I love when you say our life's not gonna change at all. That gets me every time. Cause I'm like, oh, you have no idea what's about to hit you.
SPEAKER_01That is a little bit out of context.
SPEAKER_00That is exactly we're gonna travel, we're gonna do all the things. Yeah, like even I can barely get in and out of a supercar anymore. And you think that I could probably go on a rally in two weeks' time. So we have definitely like different realities of like, oh, I've I've already experienced this, I know what's coming, but also I've never experienced it in the scenario that we're in. Um so it will be different for me as well.
SPEAKER_01Before we get into our last lap, what is one thing you tell your younger self about love?
SPEAKER_00About love? God, these are good questions, Matt. Would have been lovely if you would have given me a heads up on some of these. Um I don't know. I'm like thinking through like different stages and I'm just envisioning myself. Like, do I want to answer that as being like a little girl? Or I'm like, or in my teens, or as I, you know, went through dating life and the like there's I can answer that differently based on what season in life I'm answering that from. Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_01Sure, so pick a season.
SPEAKER_00Um well, as a little girl, I was like bunches of love. Was I I always wanted to snuggle, I always wanted to like be held, I was super, super lovey. And um we come from a more uh I don't know how to describe it because I don't want to make it sound like it's not a loving family because they're the most loving people and the most supportive people, but maybe not um physically lovey, or um they they show their love and support in such a practical way, like you never need to guess whether they're gonna be there for you. Um and they're so solid and um reliable, but very like practical, right? Not very lovely dabby. And um so I guess if I went back to that little girl who I think I'm trying to be reintroduced to more and more lately, and like through um even our counseling that we've done together, I I would tell that little girl not to um not to shut down and not to shy away and not to be strong enough that you don't need a hug and not to be um not to look at love as being needy, but to be vulnerable. That would that's what I would go back and say to that little girl is like, hang on to that, don't lose that, because life can be tough and you have to learn to rely on yourself and you feel like I don't know, you you get thrown curveballs and you get pushed down throughout life. It's just that's just the way it's gonna be. And instead of growing that exterior shell and toughening up, I would um I would encourage her to keep her soft spots.
SPEAKER_01Last one. You asked why many times during your recovery. And right now, what is the answer?
SPEAKER_00Like why it had to happen?
SPEAKER_01Just why?
SPEAKER_00Well, it was just such a like you can't make that shit up having incident after incident after incident that kept happening to us. It was it was wild. Like it does it still doesn't make sense. Um why do things have to come in waves? Of you know, it's not just the one thing, it seems to compound, and everyone says that, right? Like it happens in threes. And it definitely felt like that. It felt like uh a very, very heavy season, a couple years, a heavy couple years. Um, why did it have to happen that way? Why did it happen? Um well, probably to I think I needed to be broken down a bit. I think I needed to get back to um being that softer person that realizes that I can't do it all on my own. I need all these people in my life, and that's not weakness. That's actually a blessing that I have all these people that are willing to support in times that I can't just power through it. I can't toughen up. Um, I I had to be weak. I had to allow myself to be vulnerable. And I had to learn that how I say like weak in quotations, it's not weakness. It's it's actually in a in a way, I'm like, that's also that's now like my strength of being able to say, hey, this is too much for me. I need help here. I could never have done when we first met, I would never have done that. I would never have admitted that anything was too much for me. And I would just push it down. And now all the time I say to you, I'm like, reality, I can't do this. Or reality is you're better at this than I am. Can you help me with this? Or can you even maybe like take this for me? Because things that stress me out don't stress you out. And now I see that and I'm like, okay, well, you're actually really good at this. So can you take this? Because this is too much for me. Um, and I so I think I I had to hit my limit, and some people might do it in a different way. And I think that was the way it had to happen for me was God was like, enough, stop. Like, you are now broken and in pieces, and you have to learn to put yourself back together and you have to learn to rely on other people, and you have to let all those amazing that community that's around you and always has been, but you have to let them in.
SPEAKER_01It's very true. What's one message um you want someone listening or watching to walk away with after this conversation?
SPEAKER_00These are so hard, Matthew. Um the word that comes to mind to me is still community. It's the thing that has got us through everything. It's the thing that we're the most passionate about, whether that's family, whether that's your friend group, whether that's like the beautiful community that we get to live in and the people we surround ourselves with. And it's life is about surrounding yourself with the best people. So also you need to attract that. So working on yourself to be that person that attracts um good quality, like-minded people into your life. And yeah, just build that community, whatever that looks like, and surround yourself with those people and be that person for others too. And I think that that's the most powerful thing I've learned in life from being a single mom to being physically broken and in need to the challenges we've gone through with growing our family. Like it's all about surrounding yourself with the right people and and then when you can be that person for others too.
SPEAKER_01The most the most important decision I ever made was a person was not a car deal, it was not a business deal. It was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And I'm glad now that we've gone through all those things because I think it has made us, forced us to learn, to to to change, to do the inner work, to do these things together and like really come it it forces you to do that. And and you know, I think a lot of people give up too soon and and and I just think it's this is the beautiful part of of all this stuff. Because like when stuff happens now, right? Like we have each other's back in different ways than we would have years ago. And and I think that is what uh a marriage should do is to really be there and and force one another to find a way to to be there and to be one unit, one family, and and just like march towards that finish line, wherever it may be, together and with one thing in mind, is to make sure that everybody in the family is is safe, happy, lit heard, and looked after.
SPEAKER_00Well, I think of it, I'm a visual person. Um and I think of it, one of my favorite images is the tree where you can see how deep the roots go and how high the branches are reaching. And I always imagine that or what that image means to me is we can only grow as tall as we grow deep. So we have had our challenging seasons have been all of our growth has been happening underground. It's been shit, it's been tough, it's been like digging in a struggle, but those roots have gone deep enough now that I feel like the the tree can bloom.
SPEAKER_01Thank you for all your hard work and you you've been through a lot, and uh yeah, we just I think you deserve everything that's coming, and um I'm proud of you.
SPEAKER_00Thank you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's really special. It's really cool to see just your growth through through all of this, and um you should be proud of yourself.
SPEAKER_00I think we've got a good season coming up. I think we've earned it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.