Why Emotional Control Makes You Dangerous | The Winegards Ep. 5

In Episode 5 of The Winegards, Eric and Alexis dive deep into leadership, emotional discipline, relationships, sports psychology, personal growth, and the mindset required to perform under pressure.

From the San Antonio Spurs’ NBA Finals run to lessons about masculinity, emotional control, coaching, business leadership, and marriage, this episode blends real-life conversations with powerful insights about performance, discipline, and self-awareness.

The two also share hilarious relationship moments, stories from their trip to the Florida Keys, Eric’s dental anxiety disaster, parenting thoughts, traditions they want for their future family, and rapid-fire relationship questions.

Topics Covered:
• NBA Finals & the San Antonio Spurs
• Leadership and coaching psychology
• Why emotional control matters
• Masculinity & discipline
• Marriage dynamics & communication
• Sports parallels to business
• Motivation vs guaranteed success
• Why self-control is power
• Mental toughness under pressure
• Funny relationship Q&A
• Florida Keys trip recap
• Parenting philosophies

If you enjoy authentic conversations about business, relationships, mindset, sports, and real life, make sure to subscribe and follow along!

Follow us on Instagram @the_winegards

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of The Wine Guards. I'm Alexis Weingard. This is my husband and business partner, Eric Weingard.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

What's up?

SPEAKER_04 0:10

It's been about two weeks since we did this last, so Yeah, we got busy last week. We did get busy last week.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

There's a lot we can talk about. Went to Key West. I had a demo procedure and our big San Antonio Spurs.

unknown 0:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

And the NBA finals.

SPEAKER_04 0:26

The NBA finals, yeah. And they're playing tomorrow night just for reference when this airs, they're playing the first game against the Knicks tomorrow. So it should be exciting.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Honest to God. I I know. Like tell me about honest, like I know women will say, Oh, I like my guys' team or my man's team, the Buffalo Bills or whatever, the Boston Red Sox, whatever your team is, right? Do you actually enjoy watching the Spurs right now?

SPEAKER_04 0:56

Yes, because I think I would have struggled with Tim Duncan, Genobly, and all them, not because they weren't great. It just like I think they were just straight ball and not so much like you didn't see so much personality, at least for me when I've seen the highlights.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

No, you're right. You're definitely right.

SPEAKER_04 1:12

Whereas I like feeling not the a connection to the players, but I feel like I can analyze their personalities a little bit. Like I'm like, oh Champagne's a chill dude, right? Like you can tell he's from Brooklyn a little bit. I kind of vibe with that. And then like Vasselle, I feel like is super chill. Wemby's like secret dog, um, Harper's dog. Like, it's just cool. I feel like I can feel their personality, which is why I'm enjoying watching them.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

No, the the San Antonio Spurs, they they were kind of rivaling Tom Brady's Patriots as like really the best franchise in sports for two decades. They always were a contender, and more than that, they would always win. And it was just like great ownership, uh, great management, great coach, great players, great scouting, great recruiting, great drafting. It's it was just like top to bottom a great organization. But they were a little boring. Now, I didn't find winning boring, and I knew their personalities, but to the average fan, it definitely was boring. Now, when Kawhi Leonard came along, Kawhi Leonard had a little bit of excitement to his game because he was a little bit more athletic, but he was also a boring personality, doesn't talk to the beat. Yeah, yeah. But now, dude, these guys are swaggy.

SPEAKER_04 2:37

For sure. I also like now, too, how they film sports television because they should they know when to zoom in on certain facial reactions for certain things, like homeboy chet. He was like so devastated, and of course, they put the camera on him in those moments. So, you know, even I think the film like the actual videography element of sports broadcasting has gotten so much better, too, for these kinds of games.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

So you're but you're you're experiencing now what's so fun about it because it's like this young team, dude. They're their best players are 22, 22, and 20. They're three best players. And the the whole starting lineup is like 23 years old. De'Aaron Fox is old and he's like 28. Like they're young kids. They should be college sophomores and seniors. Okay. And usually what happens is you watch a team show their immaturity or their nervousness and they overreact or they they look like Chet Holmgren did. That's usually what kind of happens. They're like, oh, they weren't ready for the big stage, and then they kind of go through this maturation process, and then a few years later they win a championship. If they're lucky enough, maybe they win multiple, right? Like that's what the Warriors did. The Warriors took some time to grow and develop, and then they turned into this, you know, great dynasty. But part of the enjoyment isn't just watching the games, it's like when your team is really good and in it, like the interviews, the postgames, um, you know, who they are in real life, like like you kind of follow them like almost like rock stars and movie stars a little bit, like their personal lives too. So you're now seeing how fun it is to kind of watch a young man go from being a boy to you know what challenges they're overcoming as a young man. Julian Champney got cut from a team, thought he was not gonna make any money, thought he was gonna go be a UPS driver. Then he got signed to the Spurs. He's making three million dollars a year, takes advantage of his opportunity. Now it looks like he's probably gonna make 15 to 20 million dollars a year. Like, so it's it's not just about the basketball, it's the storylines. And you're and you're getting to witness it with the swaggiest team in sports right now, the Spurs.

SPEAKER_04 4:58

No, they're super they're super cool, they're definitely fun to watch. And I also, too, I think I said this to you over the weekend, out of any like famous figure, actor, professional athlete, I think an NBA player is like the coolest thing that you could be because I I still can't comprehend their buildup is crazy. Even though when we sat courtside uh at the Miami Heat game, be it's still so hard for me to comprehend because they're all so tall next to each other. Yeah, I think I have to stand next to to Wemby to be like, what the heck? But it's just so hard for me to like um understand how that there's people built like that, and then I was thinking too at the microphone. No, they're like super human. Wemby's hand with the microphones in his post-game interviews. It's so crazy. But no, it's definitely fun, it's cool.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

So I always try to relate. So one of my good friends, our good friend Matt Cottie, is six foot six, he's very tall, and he everywhere he goes, he towers over everybody. If he walks into a restaurant, everybody looks at him. That's like the average dude on the NBA court, you know.

SPEAKER_04 6:07

And Cottie feels tall, and I'm not saying this to take away from his height, but like that's still not I feel like that's like just at the point where if he was a little bit more taller, it would be a little abnormal. But like there's still some people that are sprinkled between six three, six foot, six five, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

But the seven foot five, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Yeah, you don't realize how big you don't pause. You don't re you don't realize how tall these men are. Like when Scotty, like we like Scotty Barnes is a player for the Toronto Raptors, and he's from down here in West Palm. Do you remember when we saw him at the bar that one night? I think he's I think he's 6'9. You don't realize how tall 6'9 is until you're actually next to it.

SPEAKER_04 6:49

Yeah. You know, um it's so it's the craziest thing. I I actually can't even comprehend it. I hope one day we can get a side-by-side with Wemby.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Well, I was trying to it when we were, and we did we sat courtside when the San Antonio Spurs came to play the Heat in Miami, which was really cool because because you know what Wemby looks like, and and this the guys know what I'm talking about here. Maybe the girls don't, but when you're in like sixth grade, there's always the one guy on the team or in the district that's like super tall, like he's already six foot, and everybody else is five foot or five foot four or something, right? Whatever the heights are, and he just kind of towers over everybody, and when you're a kid, and then everybody kind of catches up to him. Dude, that's how Wembing looks with NBA players. He just looks like the tall kid, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

But he's not even like weird looking. No, he's he's like totally normal looking.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

No, so so winner listen, I I'm doing this for some viral videos.

SPEAKER_03 7:51

I knew what you were doing. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Watching the Spurs right now is like watching the 1989 Bulls. It's like everybody knows, whether they want to admit it or not, the best player on the planet, he hasn't won a championship. His name is Wemby, Victor Wembenyama. And everybody knows he's about to go on a crazy run. This guy, unless he gets killed in a car accident, is gonna win multiple, multiple championships, and he's gonna dominate the league for a minimum of eight to ten years. So it's kind of like this excitement, like the 1989 Bulls, where you just know it's about to be this epic run because he's 22 years old, and you can even see the way he plays, like, he still hasn't even figured it out yet, and he's got a team around him already. Like it would, I would almost think at this stage it would be a failure if he doesn't go down as a top five player of all time. Like he's I don't think he's gonna be like that though.

SPEAKER_04 8:57

He's not a Ben Simmons where like they're supposed to be good. But I think he's gonna be I think he's gonna be great, and I think he's hard on himself. I think it's cool that Pop's still in the corner for them because I feel like he has there's just something about I feel like what Popovich can do for these young men mentally, and obviously like the training and stuff too, but and I I I think Mitch Johnson is the coach, right? Mitch Johnson. Okay, so when Mitch Johnson kind of got on Carter Bryant, everybody was like, Oh, baby, like, oh poor, poor Carter Bryant. And I I I think both you and I just kind of respected that he acted like that because that's a that was a staple moment, right? Even though he kind of messed up in the playoffs, um, you know, he he's gonna remember that moment when Mitch Johnson called him out, and like that was a growing period. So that was even a cool thing for me to see because he's what is he 20?

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:54

So that so even just watching, because I believe in coaching like that. So I think it's always cool to relate, you know, coaching in real life with sports and then professionally, but it I was like, wow, like good for Mitch Johnson. You know, it's hard to like, you know, you come almost want to shake the team player at some point, but that that's that was a pivotal moment for him, and it was cool to even see that because then when he came back the following game, he already looked better.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

For sure. Yeah, and that that's that's an interesting discussion, too, because you know the there's an element to coaching and mentoring people when you're in the middle of it, like you're in the middle of a game. You know, what happened on that play was whatever defensive strategy they told Carter Bryant to guard Shea Gildris Alexander for, he gave them some type of strategy. And they probably had been talking about it for weeks. Like, this is how you guard Shay, your footwork goes like this, and don't jump, just contest because you don't want uh him to foul bait, right? Just that's probably what it was, or he didn't have like a certain angle. Now, he's a 20-year-old playing in the Western Conference Finals, and when you don't do something that the coaching staff has told you to do for two straight weeks, the coach doesn't pull you over and say, Hey, Carter, everything's gonna be okay. You know, like like you're a really good player. I just want you to know that.

SPEAKER_03 11:23

No, you grabbed him, listen to me, listen to me.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

Like he didn't, he wasn't he he wasn't belittling, he wasn't condescending. It was this is a huge moment, and you get your head out of your ass or you get off the court. It's that simple. Do what we instructed you to do. This is a big freaking deal. Execute or you don't play. And listen, Carter Bryant had an emotional moment, and you could see he was 20 years old.

SPEAKER_04 11:50

Baby Bryant.

SPEAKER_00 11:51

Yeah, like like he got emotional, you know, and you could see like the moment was really big, and but you know, like, yo, Doug, you're playing on the biggest stage, you know, and and I don't think I I think there's an I don't know where that was lost. I I really don't know how that was lost. Maybe it's the you know, the generation past me. It was like the everybody needs a trophy uh generation, and I think that's where it was lost because people were more concerned about like people's feelings. Like I know when my feelings got hurt when I was a young boy or young kid, dude, it motivated me. I was like, oh hell no, because I don't want to feel that again, right? So it actually inspired me to lose. And I think you have to learn how to lose just as much as you learn how to win, because if you just win all the time, when reality hits you in the face, you're not gonna lose really well, and then you're never actually gonna be able to recover to win. So you have to learn how to lose too. And in that moment, Carter Bryant was losing and he got a little bit embarrassed because yeah, there's probably 20 million people watching, and he probably is trying really hard, but it wasn't good enough. But now he's playing in the NBA finals, and we're gonna see how he responds because if he because him and Harrison Barnes, him or Harrison Barnes are gonna get the minutes. Carter Bryant is a freak athlete, he's one of the best athletes in the NBA. Harrison Barnes is not anymore, he's a little older, but he's smarter. So those two are fighting for minutes. If Carter Bryant can get his head out of his, you know what, he's gonna play and he's gonna help us win a championship. We're a better team with Carter Bryant playing than we are Harrison Barnes, if Carter Bryant is playing well. Does that make sense? He makes our ceiling much higher. Yeah, but Harrison Barnes makes our floor much higher. Make sense? Yeah, not to get but this is all these Spurs stuff could go viral, so I should keep talking about it.

SPEAKER_04 13:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

You know?

SPEAKER_04 13:48

Yeah, no, and I don't think I actually don't I don't know Carter Bryant, so what do I know? But I don't from just body language and reaction and stuff like that, I actually don't think he he seems like the type of kid that has his head in his ass. I think he's just a really hard on himself player and he's like, fuck. But I I think that he'll be able to respond. I think so too. I don't think he's like a feel sorry for himself kind of guy. I think he's just like really hard on himself.

SPEAKER_00 14:16

And listen, Pete the Chet Holmgren's 24 years old, and he looked like he was 12 years old playing basketball for the first time in his life. You know, he took a he took two of the first three shots. He didn't shoot the ball for the next 45 minutes of the game.

SPEAKER_04 14:33

I'm surprised he didn't throw up on the court, dude.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

It's and we were saying the whole time, remember, we were like, oh, we feel bad for Chet when he's bullying him. You can see that he's uh like a nice kid. Yeah, just and and I'm sure he's a sweetheart. I I feel bad making fun of him, but it is it is tough on that stage. Like, you know, you're he's probably making 50 million dollars a year now, by the way. So, you know, he kind of get exposed in front of a lot of people. Um, you know, but that's that's why those game sevens are so crazy, babe, because that's gonna go down. People are gonna remember that meltdown from him for decades. Forever. Decades.

SPEAKER_04 15:10

It's probably part of his identity at that point, too. And and to tie it back into real world, right? Uh I think about how Champagny performed because his contract is expiring, right? So it's just interesting to see how people handle it's almost like when there's that guarantee, and I relate this back to salaries in real life. When there's that guarantee of money, I feel like it almost turns something off in the brain. I don't know. But like you see how Shampenny performed on the court because he knew if I don't have some insane performance in these playoffs, in these finals, like he it he could go one of two ways. He could become like a high-paid player and continue to, you know, get minutes and be on the team he wants to be on, or it it could have gone the other way, right? So I just think it's so interesting because I relate it back to even real world, right? When people have guarantees or more cushy cushy situations, it's so real that that there's just something that hurts people's capabilities.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

Yeah, no, it's that's it's an it's really cool how you just related that to uh professional life because it's interesting. If Julian Champagny, so here's Julian Champagny played well throughout the playoffs. Ups and downs, but overall well. He was shooting the ball good at home. It didn't feel like in Minnesota he was shooting the ball very well, but he was still a very serviceable player. He always played good defense, rebounding, all that sort of stuff. But they need him for his shooting. And against OKC, he really looked a little first five games like, ooh, damn, where did he where is he going? Is is the moment too big for him? But then the last couple games, actually, the last few games, I think it was five, six, and seven. I could be wrong, balled out. I mean, balled out big time and rose to the occasion, right? And they have a player option on him this year, which basically he he could never make money again, technically, or just get signed again for three million. But the fact that he balled out like that, dude, he's gonna make 20 million dollars. Yeah, 20 million dollars because he rose to the moment. And you know, there might there might be an element to that, even with they're humans, so it's like because Champagny didn't have the guaranteed deal, he he rose to the moment. And maybe because Chet does have the guaranteed money, eh, he didn't he didn't have the same type of urgency or desire to rise to the moment, and that's where we see it. The people that we don't give high salaries to, what do they do?

SPEAKER_02 17:53

They work so hard, and they kick ass.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

Yeah, and then the people we guarantee money to, you're like, Well, okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:01

And so that's interesting too, because I wonder if that's you know, you have to know yourself, right? And this could be a cool interview question. Like, are you the type of person that needs incentives to perform all the time? Right? Or or can you keep yourself self-motivated and and have this like higher salary expectation, right? Because I mean, there's obviously all these other NBA players that do have these big, big salaries, right? Um, but they're st obviously still self-motivated. So it's just interesting the types of people because some people really do need to. I mean, I hope Champagny continues to progress as a player, not just the fact that this was like a big year for him to to perform for whatever his next contract could look like. But it's just like, are you a self-motivator? Can you get through like those mental challenges? Uh and I just think it's really interesting to compare it to to real life.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Yeah, it's like it's like you see the people, uh, who's another superstar, who's a top, who's a top five guy. Uh, we'll use uh Anthony Edwards. No shot in heck. A guy like that. Do you ever have to worry about how much you gave him? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 19:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Because why? Why?

SPEAKER_04 19:16

He always performs.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

But what's it what is it about his personality, is what I'm getting at.

SPEAKER_04 19:20

I think he's bought in. I mean, he's totally dedicated, and he's very I mean, I like Anthony Edwards a lot.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Believes in himself.

SPEAKER_04 19:27

Yeah, he does, you know, and like even how he talks about himself in post-game, like but he believes in himself. He also doesn't take himself too seriously, too, where it interferes. But yeah, he he does. He definitely does.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

I love his combination of rawness and competitiveness, and then like the likability and and how much Anthony Edwards praises San Antonio. Like, damn, they got Wemby. Like, they're they're a problem, you know. Um, yeah, there I think a lot of women when they hear guys talk about sports all the time. And in fact, when I do meetings, I try not to be like bro too much in front of all the women with sports talk, but there's just so many parallels. Yeah, because you have to talk about leadership, you have to talk about work ethic, you have to talk about teamwork, you have to talk about camaraderie, you have to talk about skills building. And it's like the same thing that it takes to run a well-oiled machine like the New England Patriots, which they are again, obviously, is the same thing that it takes to run a well-oiled machine in the U.S.

SPEAKER_04 20:29

Well, let's be honest. All of these sports teams are a a for-profit business. Uh-huh. So it's essentially the same thing. They're just their jobs look different. It is a business. So I don't think it's so crazy that it is related back to sports when it comes to that. I just don't I think people look at sport. I mean, that's people that are able to dive into the game and like you said, coaching, leadership, performance. I'm able to look at it and I'm thinking, oh my gosh, what a great lesson to mention this to the team because I I can see how this relates to our company or you know, how we lead or how we coach or how we incentivize or whatever it might be, right? But I think s sports is a I look at sports probably how like Tom Brady would say what sports looks like. There's just so many things that you learn. I don't think it's just about the actual sport itself. I think people are just doing that because that's their job, but I think it's everything behind the actual action of the sport that creates the success for the team.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Yeah. Well, um before we get into another topic, final prediction. Honestly, seven games, Spurs versus Knicks. What do you what do you got?

SPEAKER_04 21:40

I so here's the thing. I don't dislike the Knicks. I think they're I like watching them. Um I saw this chat GPT uh theory on how they thought prediction. Yeah, prediction. It was all seven games Spurs, Nyx, Knicks, Spurs, Spurs, Nick Spurs. So I think that I I think that both teams are s pretty close to equally skilled in different ways, right? But I think a lot of it is also mindset too, because I I forget who it was. I think it was Nick Nick Wright or Chris Bruissard that said, like Wemby played solid on game seven in game seven, but it wasn't like a top 10 performance of Wemby's. So I think I look at this from a mental standpoint. Like I think Spurs are gonna come in super confident and ready to go because they're home for game one. But there could be some sense of, I don't know if arrogance will come in or not, but maybe you see this happen. Almost they get too too cocky and then they don't perform. It happens in every every single series where you're kind of surprised, like, damn, they really played like that at home, or damn, they really played like that, because I do think there's an element of arrogance and cockiness that also comes too. And I sometimes those that think that that element can become a blinder for performance. So to answer your question, I think the Spurs will win, and I hope that they do, but I do think it's gonna be seven games.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

Can I give you on the low uh a little dirty secret about the Knicks? Yeah. That they're terri that any Knicks fan is terrified about right now?

SPEAKER_02 23:17

What?

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Guess who is the major weak link defensively for the Knicks?

SPEAKER_02 23:22

Kat.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

He's terrible on defense, too. But Jalen Brunson. He's a little guy.

unknown 23:29

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

What happens if he's guarding Steph Castle? What happens if he's guarding De'Aaron Fox? What happens if he's guarding Dylan Harper?

SPEAKER_04 23:36

Yeah, they're all pretty good defensively.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

So no, no, no. Brunson has to guard them.

SPEAKER_04 23:40

I know.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

They're bigger. They're much bigger, much, you know, like whoever Brunson's guarding, trust me, what they're gonna say is whoever Brunson is guarding, you shoot the ball and attack.

SPEAKER_04 23:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

Because he's a little guy.

SPEAKER_04 23:57

Yeah, and they can just body him.

SPEAKER_00 23:59

I mean, Steph Castle bodies guys, you know, way, way bigger than him. Imagine him doing it to a guy five inches smaller, 20 pounds, 30 pounds light.

SPEAKER_03 24:10

That'd be interesting to see.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

Big problem for the Knicks. Big problem for the Knicks. All right. Key West, Florida. How cool is it to have it just kind of not Key West, the Keys, the Florida Keys. How nice is it just to have that in our backyard?

SPEAKER_04 24:25

It's very nice. We went for Memorial Day weekend almost as like a baby moon combined long weekend. Um we don't take enough advantage of it, I don't think.

SPEAKER_00 24:35

Well, we've been down there three times in what six years, I guess.

SPEAKER_04 24:39

Yeah. I still haven't been able to swim any time that we've gone in the the beach. Actually, we did. We did that nice little stop over when we were driving back from Key West back to Marathon and we we went in and we sat. So that was nice. But no, it's definitely it was good to slow down. Uh, we hadn't taken really a long weekend or a break at all since January 1st. So definitely necessary. I just was like not on my phone.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

I love the keys. I just love the we were talking about this. South Florida in general. I don't even know if the keys is considered South Florida, it's considered the keys, I guess. Like everything's just so alive. Like, you know, there's two tropical climates in the United States. One of them is South Florida, the other is Hawaii. So, yes, it's wet a lot of times, part uh big parts of the year, but it clears up. But it also makes everything so alive, everything's so green, everything's so just colorful and alive. Like one thing I hated about living up north is once it would hit, once the fall would hit and you get towards the end of the fall, dude, it looks like it looks like Satan just took over town and like just destroyed.

SPEAKER_04 25:56

Once the leaves fall up there, it's not cute.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

It's awful. Yeah, it's awful. Um, so I I like and the keys, man, how warm was that water? Like we went into the ocean, it felt like it was like 88, 90 degrees.

SPEAKER_04 26:12

It was still refreshing, which was nice because it it is a little tough because it does get like this down here when you go in the water, whether it's the poor of the ocean, and it's hot, it's warm. It's not like you're cooling down, you're just getting refreshed. Yeah, but it it was perfect, it was really nice. Didn't rain really. Um, it was beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

A little choppy.

SPEAKER_04 26:31

We couldn't go out in the do our little Yeah, we didn't get to do the boat, but it's okay next time. It's nice.

SPEAKER_00 26:36

I think that like you were talking about traditions for Sophia. Well, we should definitely have some four de keys traditions with her.

SPEAKER_04 26:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

You know.

SPEAKER_04 26:44

I I know because I think about there's just a you know, growing up like I don't think my parents always like to pick a new place when we were growing up to to vacation to, but then there was always families that I knew that the kids or my friends always looked forward to going on that same trip every year because it was a tradition. So I I think I'd like to try a new place every year, but then also have like a traditional, oh, we're gonna go here too. Because it's nice to try a new place, but then there's also just something to look forward to about, you know, you you know, like that's coming. You love it there, it's your place. So I'd like to find I'd like to have two opportunities for that with our kids.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

I could see there being like, you know, let's say we spend the summers in uh where's a place we go where would where would you like Montana's probably too slow?

SPEAKER_04 27:34

I just want to be somewhere where there's a lake in the summer that has cooler evenings, still really nice warm days. That's my goal. I would love to have a secondary home on a lake, fresh water, where it cools down just a little bit at night, and it's not like you're sitting outside and you're like, oh, it's too hot.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

The finger lakes are perfect for that.

SPEAKER_04 27:55

They are, but I would argue they still get a lot of rain. So I mean, I would just be curious. You know what's interesting is Michigan keeps popping up with all these like beautiful lakes. So maybe that's just a random spot. I don't know how hot North Carolina gets in the summer at night. Probably just hell. I don't think it's as hot as down here though.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

Oh, it's hot as hell. Yeah. But you know, No, no, no, it's hot as hell.

SPEAKER_04 28:16

Okay, so then this is the perfect, but I've this is I've literally I've literally done this research.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Washington, D.C. is hot as hell in the summer.

SPEAKER_04 28:22

Yeah, no, I I know, but I'm talking about the evenings. Like you want to sit outside with a bonfire, the bonfire feels cozy. That's what I'm looking for. The place that I would love to have for the summers into fall is a place where there's fall foliage, it cools down a little bit at night. It's not like sticky hot at night where you can have like a bonfire. You're I would love to be by a lake because we grew up like my grandparents had a lake house, one of my closest friends had a lake house. It was just really nice. Yeah, that could be cool.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

We should go, you know what we should do? We should go check out the poconos because I think that might be Yeah, I've heard it's a meeting.

SPEAKER_04 28:58

I've never been. I've never been either. I've heard it's really nice.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

Well, so we we gotta make a commitment to that.

SPEAKER_04 29:03

Like maybe because I imagine going up even with like the dogs and like driving and spending the two, three months of the summer there.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

Yeah. The cool thing is we can work remote. I know, you know, I could podcast remote.

SPEAKER_04 29:16

And then like I want our kids to experience seasons if they want to. It doesn't mean full time, but we could do long weekends up there, carve pumpkins, go apple picking, um, enjoy like the breeze and all that.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

Yeah. You know, I'd tell the fun funny story about um my dental anxiety and my big procedure I had and my my conversation with the woman.

SPEAKER_04 29:41

Oh my god. So, well, first of all, Eric, I'm Eric's life organizer. He's pretty good for the most part, but he um he had a root canal when he was younger. And apparently, all these people that had root canals, however long ago, it's coming back that it's just not healing or there's more issues that come down the line. So, anyways, to make a long story short, he had to actually remove the actual tooth from the root canal. So right now he has a temporary and but backstory, he also has crowns. So when he went and got crowns, um, for those of you that don't know the difference between crowns and veneers, crowns are when they actually do shave most of the tooth and they put it front and back, whereas veneers is mostly just the front. Um, but when he got the crowns, he just discovered that he had extreme dental anxiety and hated like the drilling in the ear, thinking about, you know, like whatever's happening in the mouth. So now he has this anxiety when it comes to going to the dentist or getting any type of mouth procedure. So his this actual uh periodontist appointment was this past Friday, and apparently he came home with all these pre-procedure instructions. So the lady called him.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

Um I think And she did catch me. Listen, I was having a day. Okay, I was having a day. By the way, I just saw a nice deal. I think a meta deal just came in. Cool. Yeah, Phil wellness.

SPEAKER_04 31:10

Nice so um he uh had all these pre-procedure instructions, and I think it was the the actual periodontist assistant that called him. Nice lady. But I somehow get roped in and I get a call randomly last Wednesday morning from her and she calls and she explains who she is, and I'm like, Oh, I just she was talking really fast, and I'm like, What's going on? She's like, Well, your husband told me to call you, he is not having a very good day because he was not very nice to me, and he's saying how, or she's saying how you weren't very nice on the phone, and and she needed to vent to me because my husband is was giving her a hard time, and he said, I have no idea what my pre-procedure, what I'm supposed to be doing, taking this, that, and this. And I said, I promise you, he is a giant teddy bear, he just gets really bad anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

So about dental procedures.

SPEAKER_04 32:09

Yeah, about dental procedures. So they prescribed him because he was really anxious about this procedure just from his previous uh history with his dental procedures. They come almost gave him like a like a heavier Xanax or something like that. So he he was instructed to take it the night before.

SPEAKER_00 32:24

It's like a horse tranquilizer, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:26

Cause you yeah, exactly. They're like, give this to him.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

So they drug me up.

SPEAKER_04 32:29

He had to take it the night before and an hour before the procedure, and she called me yesterday to just see how he was doing, and she was like, I think I like him on drugs. I was like, Oh yeah, he was much, was he much nicer? She was like, Yes, he was very nice. I think I want him to come in drugged up all the time now. So this poor lady just thinks that you know apparently you were weren't very nice to her, but you're just I think she I think she's Indian.

SPEAKER_00 32:54

I think she's a little bit of a language barrier. I was having a bad day, and I was just telling her, I was like, I was like, ma'am, I I don't want to argue with you. I was like, Can you just call my wife? I just don't want to go in circles.

SPEAKER_04 33:04

And that's the thing. She probably heard the word argue and was like, he wants to argue with me. Like I'm I'm just calling to let him know his pre-procedure.

SPEAKER_00 33:12

I was saying I don't want to argue. We've said the same thing six times.

SPEAKER_04 33:15

She probably heard that and was like, Does he think I'm trying to argue?

SPEAKER_00 33:19

Like, just write this number down. Right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:21

This is this is So now I'm the point of contact for him.

SPEAKER_00 33:25

But you know, I've always had I've always had a little bit of dental anxiety. Like even when I was 10 years old, I still remember when they said they had to put a needle in my gums, it freaked me out. And I remember I unlocked myself in a the door, the bathroom door at the dentist. And I was like, I don't want that needle. And you know, they were like, all right, you know, we'll do this another time or whatever. So I've haven't liked the dentist since I was 10 years old. Then there was a time where I had like a cavity or something, and they numbed me up, and I was like, dude, I I still feel it. Like, I still feel and they're like, No, you'll be good, you'll be good. And they drilled into my cavity, and I felt it. Oh, yeah, and I was like, What I'm like, dude, you know, I freaked out. I was like, come on, I felt that. Like, that was awful, you know, and like, you know, and then I got crowns on all my teeth, and that was like six or seven different procedures, and that was anguishing. And I and I remember on like the fifth procedure, I'm laying and I'm going through all this pain, and I'm getting all these needles in my mouth. Dude, just so you know, when you get your teeth done, they like numb you up four with four or five needles, and then like two hours into it, it starts fading. They numb you up again with like four or five needles. You get like 10 needles shot into your gums. It's just like and they're drilling and you can smell it, and you know, like the you have teeth sensitivity with you know, cold and hot, and it's just brutal. They're giving you painkillers afterwards, Xanax before, you know, and I don't like Vicodin and whatever the other one that I took, and like you're hungover, you know, from the drugs. It was just a nightmare. And um, by the fifth appointment, I remember they shined the bright white light in my face, and I remember I started feeling this reaction. I was like, whoa, I'm like, what I've never experienced this. My heart was racing, I was sweating. I felt, and they're like, oh, that's anxiety, and I'd never felt it before. And they gave me a freaking Xanax. So now every time I go to a medical procedure and that bright white shining light hits me in the face, I'm like, God damn, here we go again. Because you know I've had a lot more procedures with my heart and my Achilles and my shoulders and my ear and my fingers. I've had so many procedures. Yeah, like I've probably had if you include all those dental visits as like procedures, like 15.

SPEAKER_01 36:06

I know.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

It's yeah, cry for me, please. It's a lot. I know, it's a lot. So you know, so yeah, so sorry, lady, nice lady. Let's be nice to her next time you see her.

SPEAKER_04 36:19

Oh well. Oh well. Not drugged up, I think she'll be happy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:24

Um, hmm. Have we had any fights lately?

SPEAKER_03 36:31

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 36:34

No. Have we? Irritants? Have we irritated each other at all?

SPEAKER_04 36:40

No. You've actually been exceptional. Not that you aren't typically, but like this is like a new layer. Because he's bringing me coffee in the mornings.

SPEAKER_00 36:49

Um, took out the garbage this week.

SPEAKER_04 36:54

Yeah. Oh, if anyone hears it.

SPEAKER_00 36:55

Oh, oh, oh, oh. You looked a little irritated Sunday night when you're like cleaning up the kitchen.

SPEAKER_04 37:00

Yeah, because it's like the accumulation of of a trail that you leave, and you know that it's you know that I'm picking up after you. Because so he does this thing that whenever he thinks I'm mad, which I don't I really don't get mad. Um, honestly, I'm pretty even keeled. Like I'm not overly, I'm not an overly emotional person. I don't ever get like really, really, really, really happy. I think I'm pretty neutral, my emotions. I don't have high highs, low lows. I'm pretty steady. But I think he does this thing where he's like, you don't even love me anymore. When that's hit, that's like his temperature check for me to see if I'm irritated or not. And I said, No, you just know that I'm irritated because I'm cleaning up your shoes over here, your empty glass here, your t-shirt here. Like he knew I was cleaning up after him, so he knew it was just like just it was an annoyance. It wasn't like, but you knew it was all your stuff that I was cleaning up. But my dirty dish here.

SPEAKER_00 37:57

In my defense, I had a rough weekend after my dental procedure.

SPEAKER_04 38:01

It's always sure.

SPEAKER_00 38:02

I mean, they gave me two sedatives on Friday. I'm dealing with this thing. I don't even know how to brush my teeth. I have a missing tooth right now. I gotta deal with this for three months. And then on Saturday, I was really hungover feeling from all the medication. Sunday I finally felt kind of normal. I was coming back.

SPEAKER_04 38:20

That's why I didn't say anything. I just was doing my thing.

SPEAKER_00 38:23

But your body language in a little tip. You're pacing around the house at 9 30 p.m.

SPEAKER_04 38:31

Because I can't go to bed when the house is messy like that. Because if I have to wake up to that, it's awful.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

But it was your energy. Your energy, your energy was being mean to me.

SPEAKER_04 38:43

And to be fair, it doesn't happen that frequently with me. Like you're more of an emotions understanding.

SPEAKER_00 38:49

And you got over it quick.

SPEAKER_04 38:50

I always do. I don't really like react. I'm not a reactive person.

SPEAKER_00 38:55

Um, to the massive audience that we have on the Wine Guards, to the 114 people that watch this video, Alexis does not have a bad day. It is the most impressive thing about you. We've been together six years now, which is crazy. And um you just you haven't had many bad days. I mean, I'm gonna say you've had a total of seven in six years.

SPEAKER_04 39:27

I don't know. I've already forgotten if I have.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

Yeah, like no, there were some like big arguments we had and stuff. I was probably the root cause of the root problem of the bad day, but it's how do you because I'm more no, I don't know if I'm more intense than you. That's probably the wrong word. I'm more violent than you. I don't know what the word like like I handle you handle problems through reason, I handle problems through force. And I'm not saying I'm right or wrong for handling it, but you know me. If I get mad, I roll up my sleeves and I do something about it. Like if I feel like the salespeople aren't selling, I go, all right, I go, let's do a two-hour session. Like I it's through force, not through reason. And uh how how do you how have you developed there's no way you were like this as a teenage girl. How how have you developed this personality to where you just don't have a bad day?

SPEAKER_04 40:34

Well, I can tell you that when I was in college, I mean, by nature I'm a control freak. Like I'm very uh type A. Like if things were to not have gone my way, yeah, if things were to have not gone my way, I would get frustrated. Um but I think just through life experiences and realizing like what I actually can control in my life, that I figured out how to just not get irritated or just regulate, I guess. Because I know that I also was a menace to be around with like my immediate, like my parents and Paige and Marcus, because when I was like super controlling type A, I was so annoying because I would be like barking orders like your dishes, like da-da-da, I just cleaned the kitchen, I just did this, and it was like, whoa, chill. So there was just something I think that happened when I went from maybe college into the real real world, whatever you want to say, where I just kind of realized, okay, if I act this kind of way, or if I get all emotional this kind of way, does it change the outcome? I think I just had that realization. Like, does the outcome change? Either I get worked up and I get all this negative energy. How does it change my outcome? Does it make it better? Does it make it worse? Does it stay the same? Actually, in fact, the outcome was always worse because it was like feeling negative. And I don't like feeling negative feelings. So I don't like feeling I mean, it's not that I don't like feeling sad, but I don't like feeling sad. I don't like feeling sad. I don't like feeling angry. I don't like any negative emotion. I'd rather just be neutral or like happy. Now I know that there's like situations where you're unhappy and sad, and obviously life happens. But I don't know. I think I really just I do a lot of self-talk. I think I was telling you that a few weeks ago. That if something irritates me, I literally just I take a second and I'm like, okay, I acknowledge that I'm feeling a certain way, and I I'm not even joking, I do this in my head, and it's really it's a really quick thing I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00 42:50

Laughing in amazement.

SPEAKER_04 42:52

No, I know. It's just a really quick thing I do. Like, let's just say something irritates me or makes me frustrated or mad. Like I acknowledge it in my brain to myself. I'm like, all right, I'm really pissed off right now, or I'm really annoyed right now, or I'm really sad right now, or whatever it may be. But then I literally say to myself, like I'm acknowledging it, and then I say, All right, now don't harp on it. Move on. Don't obsess over that emotion. Move on. And I do. Like I can't even remember when I get upset about what I get upset about things for because I I acknowledge it. I tell myself, I know I'm feeling this because of this reason, but move on. Like, don't let that define your day. Don't let that don't even let it define the hour, the next half hour. I'm just like, all right, this happened, this is what I'm gonna do about it, or this is what I'm going to do about it. Now move on. And I just move on.

SPEAKER_00 43:44

You know, what what I heard was how I interpreted it is is you you have you had a former behavior, a controlling behavior, and that behavior Would lead to unwanted feelings.

SPEAKER_04 44:04

Yeah, I would get frustrated, irritated, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 44:08

That's what happened to me really with my anger problem is I would get angry, and by getting angry, I would always like even though I was harmless, like if I got into a fight with my buddy and their girlfriend or something at a concert, and I've just like yelled and screamed at people. Like I always hate myself after. And it just led to these just really terrible feelings. Just like embarrassed, ashamed. Um, you know, a man should pride himself on being emotionally in control. Like, that's what we're talking about with Stefan Castle and these basketball players. You see how much I admire them for being intense but not losing control. Like a man that loses control, it's really embarrassing. It's really embarrassing. It's it it downgrades your masculinity.

SPEAKER_04 45:07

Well, it's it pretty much just says that there's no self-control. And I think self-control is like the highest traits amongst traits to have. Because if you can control you emotions, working out, how you are in your relationship, like I think self-control is the most it it pretty much sh says how much discipline you have. It it speaks volumes. And in fact, I would argue that a man who is reactive and explosive, and I think we've talked about this a handful of times. Like, I don't think that peop men who've react are actually very strong. Men they come off strong because they can raise their voice, puff their chest. And women do that too, I'm sure, where they get like sassy bark orders. I actually think the strongest person in the room is usually the one that's just the most silent, no reactions. And like, you know, people do it's I like people do things to get reactions out of people, right? Like, think about even comments on social media. They want a reaction. If you just ignore the reaction or ignore whatever they're trying to do, who's the stronger person? Who's winning? You're unbothered. So I don't know. I think it's a lot, I think it's self-control, and I think it's mastering your own personality and self-control.

SPEAKER_00 46:28

Yeah, it's like we have these rules in society, and it's like if you and there's rules in basketball, right? Uh there's laws, just like there's laws, and there's, you know, rules in in sports, and there's referees, and in in real life, there's referees. They're called the police. And and uh if you're someone that doesn't have self-control, you you end up being somebody that it's embarrassing. Yeah, it does something to cause your team a win, or it could cause your family time without you because you go to jail because you beat up some guy, and now you go to jail for two years, and now your wife and your daughter are struggling to make ends meet. So, yeah, no, it's no self-control is is a skill, and the person you want leading a family or a team or a company is definitely someone that can show self-control. We were talking about Patrick Bett David handling that conversation the other day.

SPEAKER_04 47:34

Yeah, he was very black and white, no emotions, no raised voice.

SPEAKER_00 47:38

That was flawless. You know, the guy was talking about the the Ponzi scheme on the phone with him, and you know, he's not involved with it at all. And I'm sure he's emotional about it, and it's driving him nuts.

SPEAKER_04 47:50

You know, and let's talk about what it would illustrate if he was emotional about it.

SPEAKER_00 47:55

You're right.

SPEAKER_04 47:56

Like, what is that perception, you know?

SPEAKER_00 47:59

Straight guilty.

SPEAKER_04 48:00

Okay. He's nothing to be guilty for. Why would he be emotional? I mean, yeah, he he's uh the most professional of all professionals with stuff like that for sure. But I don't and it's like the same thing here. Like I get frustrated with stuff with work, but like I have my switch. You saw me get irritated yesterday, but I don't when I have to talk to a team member, I just switched it like I'm pissed here, and then I have to talk to them. Hey.

SPEAKER_00 48:30

Yeah, you went to Sweetie Pete mode. I was like, wow, that was impressive.

SPEAKER_04 48:33

Yeah, I mean, it's not their problem that I'm annoyed. So it's mine.

SPEAKER_00 48:39

Yeah. Yeah. Um I want to fire some questions at you.

SPEAKER_04 48:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 48:48

Um, actually, we can just do it on the podcast, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 48:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 48:51

Right? Rapid fire podcast questions.

SPEAKER_04 48:53

You're asking me.

SPEAKER_00 48:54

Yeah, I'm asking you some. Um, who spends more money?

SPEAKER_04 48:58

Probably you. Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 49:02

Definitely. Um, who's more dramatic?

SPEAKER_04 49:05

You.

SPEAKER_00 49:06

Yeah. Who's the better driver?

SPEAKER_04 49:09

You much better.

SPEAKER_00 49:11

Alexis.

SPEAKER_04 49:12

I hate driving.

SPEAKER_00 49:13

You know what though, guys? Her driving was a really serious concern. The first few years I knew you, it was bad. No, no, it was bad.

SPEAKER_04 49:22

No, but I think that's why I hate driving so much because there was times that you would like call me out and like you'd say, You could have killed that person, could have ran over that dog, and now I'm just like so intrusive, thought hyper. I I it's ruined.

SPEAKER_00 49:34

Yeah, no, but no, no, you've been much better. Much better.

SPEAKER_04 49:37

Yeah, I mean, it's still I don't enjoy it, but anyway.

SPEAKER_00 49:41

Who's funnier?

SPEAKER_04 49:43

You.

SPEAKER_00 49:44

Yep. Well, my close friends from back home, they know my goofy side and they know how funny I am. I'm actually hilarious, but a lot of people don't see that. They see like happy, but a lot of people don't see my my funny side. Who's more likely to hire someone they shouldn't?

SPEAKER_04 50:01

Oh my god. Eric is more likely to hire someone they shouldn't because he gets all excited on like the front facing of things, and he's like, Oh my god, they presented themselves so well, they answered my questions so well. Okay, people are great interviewers. I like dissect. I'm like, okay, I read into the person. So yeah, definitely more likely you because you see people for how they present themselves. They were so nice, they're gonna be great. Da-da-da-da-da. And then I'm like, I get told we're hiring somebody, and I'm like, why would you hire that person? Now they have to go through me. It's like a final.

SPEAKER_00 50:42

Who will be the stricter parent and why?

SPEAKER_04 50:45

I go back and forth with this, and I've thought about this because I think that you can be enabling, but then I also know that there's that side of you that isn't. And the comparison that I have is because he's so enabling with our dog Harvey. Like Harvey runs the house and it drives me insane. But I don't know if he'll yeah, but it's annoying. And I don't know if he'll be like, I don't know if he'll be like that with our kids. But like Harvey runs the house and he's a dog.

SPEAKER_00 51:13

Who's more likely to cry during a movie?

SPEAKER_04 51:17

Eric is more likely to cry during a movie. Like I said, I'm pretty neutral. I don't remember.

SPEAKER_00 51:22

No, but there was one movie that I had you watch where you're gushing. The Green Green Mile.

SPEAKER_04 51:27

Yeah, that was awful. Yeah, yeah, you uh I was like, I started tearing up myself, why would you do this to me? I didn't want to cry.

SPEAKER_00 51:34

What's my most annoying habit?

SPEAKER_04 51:37

Well, for me personally, it's like the I think the the bigger picture is the Just say it, dude. I know, I'm I want to articulate it well. I think like your lack of attention span. And I'm saying that's like the worst habit because it trickles down into other areas of life. Like you don't know where you leave things and then you get frustrated. You don't know, you know, like you you leave things around the house because you start doing one thing and then you leave a the remote in the refrigerator, and I think it's like your attention levels, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:14

Okay. All right. But you still love me.

SPEAKER_04 52:17

Yeah. Okay. It's not the end of the world at all.

SPEAKER_00 52:20

Guys, thanks again for tuning in to another Wine Guards podcast business, marriage, real life. Make sure to like and subscribe. See you again.